The Tao of Terri

An Anger-ball

2012-01-28T13:06:00.000-06:00

What's that joke? You ask the husband, "Did you wake up Grumpy? Or did you let her sleep?"

Ha. Ha.

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning even though we went to bed at 9:30 last night and didn't get up until just after 7:00 this morning. And I woke up grumpy. My allergies are horrible this winter. I woke up with a sinus headache. It's just barely the end of January and I'm about as sick of the cold weather as I can be. After laundering 12 large black yard bags of donated clothing and two more white kitchen bags of donated clothing to cull through and the fact that I've neglected my own 3+ loads of laundry.....well, I'm sick of laundry. But laundry I will be doing once I finish this post.

We left the house about 8:15 this morning and drove to Sam's Club, a nearly 40 minute jaunt to the other side of Little Rock. It didn't help that I'd been to every grocer in Conway and couldn't find a single freaking bag of rye flour and had to resort to a side trip to Whole Foods to get it. Even though I only do it once a month, I still bitch the whole time. Why can't we get this stuff closer to home? It's not like I'm asking for a fish monger to set up shop in Conway, Arkansas so I can buy fresh albacore tuna fresh off the boat, although it would be a plus! I hate this drive.

When we finished shopping at Sam's Club, we filled our trunk with our purchases and headed back out to the freeway toward Whole Foods. I start griping immediately. The drive....blah, blah, blah....can't find what I need in Conway....blah, blah, blah....Mike and Kathy can find anything they want at their cheap-ass store, Chris and Kelly can find whatever they need less than 5 minutes from their house....I have to drive out of town to even find a freakin' bag of rye flour.....blah, blah, blah.

"I know," I said. "I'm just grumpy, grumpy, grumpy."

"Naw," Tom replied, "your just an anger-ball."

"Yeah, probably."

"You know what I think you need?" Tom asked and without waiting for a simple what? from me, he continued. "I think you need to have sex. You know, just to help you relieve all that pent up anger energy."

My response? A head cocked to one side, blank one-eyebrow-raised stare.

"No? Not what you had in mind?" he said innocently.

"That's not the first thing that comes to my mind," I responded.

"Really?"

"Really. I was thinking more along the lines of just writing using a sarcasm font."

The 30 Day Challenge

2012-01-24T14:41:00.001-06:00

I was going through my hall closet over the weekend, and when I say "My", that is exactly what I mean.

As you might recall, we moved from a large house in the country to a house about half the size right smack dab in the middle of town. I bought our bedroom furniture for a bedroom twice the size of our current one. There's room to walk around the bed, dressers and side cabinets....but barely. Our bathroom, which we have remodeled, is about one-third the size of our former one. And the closet....oh boy, do I miss my big closet, which was about the size of our middle bedroom, maybe even a little bigger, lined with aromatic cedar and configured with plenty of poles, shelves and a whole bank of wire baskets.

The former closet was full. I was working then and I had a clothes budget which consisted basically of "if I saw something I liked, I bought it." It seems rather excessive when I look back on it now, but my rationale was that I needed clothes for work (dresses, slacks, blouses, blazers, etc.), clothes for leisure (jeans, sweats, shirts and blouses, dresses, etc.), clothes for farm and yard work for three distinct seasons. Then there's the shoes, bags, jewelry rack...yada, yada, yada.

When our current, much smaller house was built over 20 years ago, I don't think the former owner thought a lot about closet space. Our master closet is about 6 feet wide and 3 feet deep. To call it a "walk-in" would be exceedingly generous. Tom had to completely reconfigure the poles and shelves to get maybe a third of our clothing in it and we pretty much rotate stuff each season.
The left side of our closet

The right side

The center

If you are guessing that all of those shoes on the back wall are mine, you would be correct. You would also be correct if you said Terri uses two poles and Tom uses one.

The coat closet in the entryway is filled to capacity with coats, jackets and scarves. The shelf above the closet pole is crammed with some of my purses.

The deep closet in the hallway is filled to brim with mostly my stuff: dresses, suits, pant suits, blazers, sweaters, more t-shirts than I will ever wear in two lifetimes, shoes and more purses, among other things.

And on the back of that closet door is a jewelry rack where I hang most of my necklaces and small evening bags.

This weekend, I started pulling stuff together to donate to the Clothes Closet and set it down in the den. This is what I pulled so far...

Now, I've posted those photos of my closets for a reason.

Sunday afternoon Tom said, "Hey, hon, what's all this stuff?"

"It's stuff I pulled out of the closets to donate to the Clothes Closet."

"Really? Is that all?" He was obviously not impressed with the stack.

I shrugged and told him I just did it in a few minutes and mentioned that the stack did, after all, contain shoes and a purse (which I NEVER give away because I'm basically a shoe/purse hoarder).

Later, before dinner, while we sat sipping our glasses of wine, Tom said, "How about if you do a 30-day giveaway."

"Meaning?"

"You donate at least one item every day for 30-days."

I quickly said yes, no problem, but I have learned something about myself. I'm generous with my time, my support, my hugs, my love, my energy...all sorts of intangible things....but not so generous with my stuff, even if it's outdated or doesn't fit.

You see, I started thinking, Well, okay, this bunch of clothing I already put together is day one. But I knew that is not what Tom meant. He really meant for me to donate the pile of stuff I had already pulled together, then start the 30-days. But I was already manipulating and rationalizing in order to reduce the number of items.

A challenge? Indeed. It's going to be like pulling my fingernails out. But in a good way.

Just A Day In The Life

2012-01-19T14:33:00.000-06:00

I worked at the free Clothes Closet this morning.

An older man came in early, right after I opened at 9:00. Honestly, I've found that it's hard to tell how old some people are, particularly those folks who have struggled financially for a number of years. That sort of stress seems to age people faster than others.

I asked him if he was looking for something in particular and inquired, "What size are you? About a medium?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, "but I'm not lookin' for myself. I'm lookin' for my granddaughter."

Now, we sort of have an unspoken rule that folks looking for free clothing must shop for only those people in their household, so I asked, "Does she live with you?"

"Yes, ma'am. Most of the time." Then after a pause, he added, "Her parents don't live right, if you know what I mean, so she stays with her Maw Maw and me pretty much permanent."

Assuming the little girl was of school age, I pointed to the back wall and said, "Those clothes are for little girls from sizes 6 to 12."

"Oh, no ma'am, them are too big for her. She wears an 18 to 24 months. She's just over a year old."

It's becoming pretty commonplace to see grandparents raising their grandchildren. The absent parents are generally into alcohol, drugs, or worse, in jail. It's sad and it takes its toll on the grandparents, but they rarely complain. Most of them are happy they can provide love and stability to the child who would otherwise be in foster care.

I directed him to the rack with right sized clothing and he carefully examined every single piece in her size, taking only four or five little things, which I removed from the little hangers and put in a bag for him.

As he wandered across the room to look at the mens clothing, he told me that the baby was the child of his wife's daughter.

"I ain't never had no kids, so I never knew anything about raisin' 'em."

"So this is a whole new experience for you," I said.

"Yes ma'am. I ain't never seen a child grow and learn before," he said, smiling. "I ain't never seen 'em grow and change like she does. She likes to sit next to her Paw Paw when I'm watchin' tv, so I bought her a little chair at a second hand store and put it right next to mine and she jus' now can get up into it by herself. She'll set there and watch me cross my legs, then she'll cross her legs, too." He smiled proudly. "She wants to do what her Paw Paw does."

At the mens rack, the man looked through shirts in his size, lifted one off the rack and held it up to examine it.

"That's one nice shirt," he said as he admired it.

"Well, it looks like Paw Paw found something for himself," I said. "Here, let me take that off the hanger and put it in the bag with your granddaughter's things."

"You sure, ma'am? I already got those things for her. I don't want to be greedy."

"Absolutely. It's fine. That's a nice shirt. It will look really good on you," I reassured him.

I folded up the shirt and laid it on top of the baby clothes in the bag and handed it to him.

He reached out for the bag with his left hand and wrapped his right arm around my shoulder and gave me a big hug.

"God bless you, ma'am," he said. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. Thank you for the hug. It made my morning."

I was telling the truth.

Everything's Coming Up Daze - y

2012-01-18T13:49:00.000-06:00

A little over an hour ago, after a 35-minute conversation, I replaced my telephone back in it's base, stood very still and quiet for a few seconds, then at the top of my lungs I yelled, "Oh! My! God!"

Then....just dazed. Amazed. Stunned. Touched. Dumbfounded. Calm.

It was sorta weird. My cousin and I don't know each other at all. She doesn't remember visiting our family when we were children. Understandable since she was only about two years old at the time. That was 58 years ago.

I have no concept of how long they visited - a week or two, maybe longer. I remember vignettes from their visit.

My parents moved all five of us girls into one bedroom and arranged the newly emptied bedroom to accommodate my uncle (my Dad's brother), my aunt and my two cousins.

Aunt Donna would give my cousin Maxine a bath nearly every morning. It always amazed my 7-year old self, since we only took weekly baths.

My mother was a mediocre cook at best and by comparison, my Aunt Donna was an amazing cook. I loved watching her in the kitchen because she seemed to really like being there, even cleaning up. My fondest memory was her Prune Whip. I'd never had anything like it in my whole seven-year-life. She boiled prunes until they were very soft, mashed them to a pulp, then mixed them with sweet whipped cream. I can taste it to this day. Oddly enough, I've never made it.

Before bedtime, Uncle Lyle would sit on the bed with Aunt Donna and their 2-year old and 4-year old girls and talk to them before Aunt Donna put them to bed. I stood hiding behind the door jamb of my bedroom across the hall and watched the nightly ritual, envious of the relationship they had with their father and mother.

Wow...and the conversation. Sandy called from her mom's house, my Aunt Donna's. She's visiting her mom in Montana, helping to renovate her basement. We talked about the year since my uncle died, families, grandkids, family history - what we remember and what we don't. Then I talked to my aunt.

When I heard Aunt Donna's voice, I almost cried. It sounded exactly as I remembered - young, happy, vibrant with that distinct Minnesota accent - even though she is well into her 70's. She's sending more photos. I can't wait.

I learned more about my grandmother. She died in 1955 from a brain tumor. I was nine. I learned a little about her ancestry - Scandinavian and Pawnee Indian. I have the information to contact my dad's only remaining sibling and I'm hoping she will fill in the gaps.

This adventure has just begun.

Some Things Friday for January 13, 2012

2012-01-13T13:54:00.000-06:00

Yep, once again folks, it's Friday the 13th. Are you anticipating misfortune of some kind today? A crack in the sidewalk just big enough to make you trip and break your ankle? Someone failing to stop at a red light and crunching the front of your car? Or perhaps you just stayed in bed to avoid a catastrophe altogether.

Me? Not only did I get out of bed, but I drank coffee and didn't choke to death. I got dressed without falling down trying to get my legs in my sweats. I plugged in a small space heater in the office without being electrocuted. Life is good.

Some Things I Love:

1. Absent Chris' Eggs Anna (English muffin spread with avocado, topped with scrambled eggs with bacon, slathered with homemade hollandaise sauce) which I'm routinely too lazy to make, I like a simple toasted English muffin spread with avocado and sprinkled lightly with salt and pepper. Just finished it and I'm full.

2. Fresh picked corn on the cob sprinkled with a little salt, pepper and a really good quality chili powder, wrapped in foil and roasted over the grill. Just to clarify, here in the south it's called a grill and in the west it's called a barbecue.

3. Oh my, isn't this republican primary thing fun? Each fool trying to outdo the other fools. But because they're all fools, it's just like watching Moe, Curly and Larry trying to poke each others eyes out.

4. My neighbors next door are back from their 3-month visit to England and their girls are, once again, playing in their yard and driveway...laughing, giggling, screaming...having a great time just being kids. The sound makes me smile.

5. Stopping at Starbucks on my way to work at the Clothes Closet. A small cappuccino with one raw sugar, please. I savor the whole cup for about 45 minutes afterward, but I simply adore that first hot sip.

Some Things I Hate:

1. You know when your bathroom sink is draining a little slow and you remove the plug thingy and see a little hair stuck in there, then you reach down to pull it out and a huge nasty clump of more hair and other smelly gunk comes up with it? Don't tell you've never had that happen to you because you are just too neat and tidy. I won't believe you.

2. I have a love/hate relationship with a set of sheets I own. I love the colors and pattern: palm fronds in shades of green and tropical flowers of pink and burgundy. However....you knew that was coming...those same beautiful sheets do not stay tight and fitted. The corners roll up in the middle of the night, pulling the mattress pad with it, which creates mounds of folds and crevices that wind around my feet and legs. I should just throw them away or cut them up in squares for quilting, but I can't. I have a completely irrational attachment to them.

3. When I'm driving in my car and it starts to rain and I turn my windshield wipers on and they make that loud rubbing sound because I forgot - AGAIN - to change the blades after the very same thing happened last time I was driving in my car and it started to rain and I turned my windshield wipers on and they made that loud rubbing sound!

4. Getting an unsolicited free subscription to a magazine I would NEVER subscribe to and which I immediately throw in the recycle bin upon receipt and then getting URGENT notices to renew my subscription. Hint to publisher: No.

5. When I travel to other parts of the country (in the last year or so, Florida, San Francisco and Reno) and go grocery shopping and there's more than two markets where I can find all kinds of ingredients readily available - fennel bulbs, daikon radish, innumerable fresh herbs, multiple varieties of mushrooms, fresh (not previously frozen) fish, micro-greens and everything else imaginable. Then I come home and shop at Kroger and Walmart (oh, yipee!) and if I need any of the aforementioned ingredients, I have to drive 40 minutes to Little Rock on the off-chance I MIGHT be able to find what I'm looking for. It's hard to cook and write a food blog with such limited selection.

Some Things I Just Don't Get:

1. I saw a tweet this morning that 43 percent of people polled by some organization said they believed divine intervention was at least partly responsible for Tebow's success. Huh? God loves him some football? In the spirit of full disclosure, I've never seen Tim Tebow play football. As a matter of fact, I haven't watched one football game for at least a year, maybe more. But I think I can safely say that if God will not intervene with those afflicted with cancer or other life threatening diseases, or stop murders, wars, famine, tornadoes or tsunamis, God certainly would not intervene in the outcome of a freaking football game. Football fans take the game WAY too seriously.

2. Karaoke.

3. Choosing to eat Velveeta instead of real cheese.

4. President Colbert? Don't get me wrong. I like Stephen Colbert. I think he's really funny and I love how he uses humor to expose the hypocrisy of politics and the lunacy of the Super PAC's. So the other night on his show Colbert said, "I am proud to announce that I am forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the President of the United States of South Carolina!" In a poll, Colbert was ahead of candidate John Hunstman. What bothers me is that there are people who will actually vote for Colbert, even if they have to vote by write-in. I do not understand why anyone would treat the voting process so frivolously and vote for someone as a joke. But then I don't understand why anyone would vote against their own or the country's best interest either.

5. Bristol Palin is leaving the glamour of Hollywood and going home to Alaska. Another 15 minutes gone.

Back In The Saddle Again

2012-01-06T14:29:00.000-06:00

I don't know why it is so hard to get back in the groove after an extended blog silence, but it is.

It probably has something to do with my health. I'm sick again. Although I am finally starting to recuperate, it has been a long, very slow process. I was almost completely well by the time we made our Christmas trip.

Our trip to Reno to visit our oldest son and his family was awesome. Their house is so cute and those decks that wrap all around their house, front to back, and the trees that will shade them in the spring and summer are just phenomenal. I'd spend every waking minute out there during the summer and never get anything done.

Mike is using their garage for his wood shop. I think it's even bigger than the oversized garage we had when we lived in the country. It's huge and he's so proud and thrilled to be able to work at home.

The night we arrived, 7-year old Zoey was in a Christmas performance at her school. She was Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with antlers and flashing red nose. Near the end of the play, Zoey - er, I mean Rudolf - led the other reindeer on a jaunt around and through the audience and back up to the stage. I smile again just thinking about it. She was so cute. It was a rare treat for us, since we live so far from all of our grandkids.

Of course, the next evening we were off to Sushi Club where I watched in amazement as 9-year old Lily packed away copious amounts of mussels laced with firery Sriracha and crab rolls. Whew! And we were so happy that grandson Zak and his girlfriend Shelby could join us for dinner before they made their trip to Utah for the Christmas holiday.

Before Christmas, we busied ourselves with introducing the girls to Secret Santa. Zoey tore up pieces of paper and wrote on each piece a person's name - Mommy, Daddy, Grama, Grampa, Lily and Zoey - then we picked our person's name without looking. We would purchase a gift for our person which could not cost more than $15.00. We were not allowed to say who our person was because it was a secret.

The mall was packed! The girls were so excited! They learned quickly to calculate the costs of little gifts that did not exceed the dollar limit. "Grandma! Look! This is $14.99! That's less than $15.00!!" It was fun, but exhausting. I hadn't been to a mall that big since our last Christmas in Savannah. We walked and shopped, mostly in the larger department stores, to the very end of the mall and back again.

The next evening, we wrapped our Secret Santa gifts and the girls got really giggly when they decided to play a prank on their dad. After they finished wrapping the Secret Santa gifts, they laid them carefully underneath the tree towards the back. Then they carefully wrapped the well-used Sharpie marker and etched out their plan for Christmas Eve. They would give their dad his "prank" Secret Santa gift first {giggle, giggle, giggle} so he would open it in front of everyone {giggle, giggle, giggle}.

When Tom heard what the girls were doing, he decided to play a "prank" on both of the girls. He wrapped a raw hot dog for Lily, who, of course, hates hot dogs, and a can of tuna for Zoey, who likewise hates tuna.

Christmas Eve the girls could hardly contain themselves. We gathered in the family room and the girls, according to plan, retrieved their dad's joke gift first. Mike smiled as he opened it and as he held up the Sharpie, the girls burst out in giggles, yelling, "It's a prank! It's a prank!"

Tom then retrieved the girls' prank gifts. As each of the girls unwrapped their gift, they smiled and yelled, "Grandpa!!" Gypsy, their dog, does not have the same aversion to hot dogs that Lily does and happily devoured Lily's hot dog in little more than one gulp.

Christmas Day Lily woke up with a runny nose and sneezed and coughed all day. By the next day, she was running a fever. Four days later, the day we were to leave for home, I woke up with a runny nose and sneezing, which continued throughout the day. During our four hour flight to Chicago and our connecting two hour flight to Little Rock, mothers sitting near me gave me the stink eye and cuddled their babies to protect them from my obviously infectious presence. All I could offer between germy sneezes and nose blowing into one kleenex after another was a shoulder shrug, the unspoken "sorry, but I can't help it."

That was on December 29th. Two days after that, Tom got sick, too.

Today, the sneezing has stopped, but I'm still blowing my nose. I take Nyquil every night to keep my nose from running all over my pillow. I wake up with dark circles under my eyes every morning. My ears are plugged. I have a sinus headache. I feel like I need a nap every afternoon. Tom had to escape to the guest bedroom two nights in a row because of the snoring....mine, not his. But it's getting better every day. I'm hoping that some day...one day...this year I will feel like I'm back to normal.

On second thought, maybe I should set the bar a little higher this year. ☺

The Growing Family Tapestry

2011-12-13T13:46:00.003-06:00

Mail is generally a non-event in our house. It's mostly bills, donation solicitations, junk mail and various catalogs. Today it included two Christmas cards.

One was from a cousin who recently moved from Oregon back to California. She and her husband are planning to drive up to visit us while we are staying with our oldest son over the holidays. Her card just confirmed that. I'm thrilled. I haven't seen Jen in probably 20 years.

I didn't recognize the name on the other card. I thought it was one of those "handwritten" card advertisements and almost didn't even bother to open it. I glanced again at the front of the envelope. The return address was in Colorado. At second look I thought it was an old friend of Tom's who had moved to Denver in the 70's. But the last name was different, so I knew it wasn't from Pete.

I decided to open it.

Under the printed holiday greeting was the usual handwritten message, With Love, followed by the names of all the family members, names I did not recognize. Thinking I had inadvertently opened someone else's card that had been incorrectly delivered to our address, I looked on the front of the envelope to make sure it was addressed to us. It was addressed to me "and Family."

I opened the card again and read the handwritten note on the left hand side:

"Hi Terri,
I am your cousin. I am Lyle's daughter. My mom said you were working on family history. I can give you a little info......call me. I would love to talk to you and get to know you."

I was stunned. As I wrote in a previous post, I hadn't seen my uncle and aunt and their family for at least fifty years when they and my parents parted ways. The last time I saw my cousin, she was probably four or five years old.

When Tom got home, I handed him the card and said, "You will never believe this."

When he finished reading, he looked up, "Wow. After all these years. Are you going to call her?"

"Yes."

"Good for you. Maybe in the future, we can take a trip so you can reconnect with your family."

"Maybe we can," I said with a tear in my eye.

sigh

2011-12-11T13:55:00.000-06:00

Sunday. Quiet. Exhausted.

I'm nearly over my upper respiratory thing. Tom has it now. He can barely breathe at night and, consequently, his condition results in snoring. Bad snoring. Deep, loud, resonating snoring. Which explains why I am exhausted. No sleep, or at least not enough to sustain me.

About 11 or 12 years ago, Tom developed a pretty bad snoring condition. It started out not too bad, just an occasional night that prompted me to leave our warm bed in the middle of the night to sleep in the guest room to get some sleep. After about a year though, I was picking up my pillow in the middle of probably 4 out of 7 nights to head for the guest room.

When Tom went in for an annual physical, he told our doctor about the snoring development and she referred him to an ear, nose and throat guy who recommended a surgery, of sorts. The doctor would inject an anesthetic to numb Tom's throat and burn off a skin flap that creates the snoring noise. OUCH!

Tom had a sore throat for a few days afterward and was sure his throat was going to swell shut, but after awhile the swelling started to subside. The doctor told him that he would continue to snore for a couple of weeks until he was healed and eventually the snoring would go away. The doctor was right. Within a couple of weeks, we were once again sleeping through the night, all warm and snuggly, in the same bed.

I know. He's such a saint to go through all that just to keep me in his bed.

But this last week has been reminiscent of that year before Tom had the surgery. I think I've spent two full nights in our bed. The other five nights, I've been awakened in the middle of night by a loud, echoing snore that vibrates Tom's body, which in turn vibrates the bed. So I grab my pillow, head down the hall to the guest room, close the door behind me (yes, it's that loud), climb into a cold bed and lay there for an hour or two until I finally fall back to a fitful sleep.

I'm so tired right now, I can hardly think.

So Shoot Me...

2011-12-04T14:40:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I took a break. After 30 days of NaBloPoMo, I was ready to shut up for a minute or two.

I only have a few words. I could have waited until Wednesday to post one of those Wordless Wednesday sort of photos, but with Herman Cain's campaign suspension announcement yesterday, which had all the pomp and circumstance of the presentation of the royal family, I couldn't resist making a comment.

This is reminiscent of the photos of Jesus' image on a piece of toast. Or even Obama's image. And, now, of course with the Cain Train pulling into the storage garage, we have Herman's image....

Herman Cain finally pulled the plug on his campaign yesterday, but he was toast weeks before that.

The Final Day

2011-11-30T10:13:00.000-06:00

When I forwarded a copy of my last letter to the city council to the editor of our local newspaper, I thought he'd just skim it for some sort of relevant news story, but instead sent an email asking me pare it down to about 300 words in order to publish it in the newspaper.

I responded with, "I'll give it a try, but I'm a blogger and not known for my brevity. More of a blah-blah-blahgger." And, it's true. I'm wordy. Paring down that letter was like pulling out my fingernails.

So how is that I have had such a hard time with this last 30-day exercise? Most of the time I felt like the most boring person I know trying to sound interesting, engaging, fun even. I don't think I've been particularly successful. I don't have kids at home anymore and they don't even live close by so I don't have a cache of family anecdotes to share. I don't work at a full-time job with fun, grumpy or eccentric people to exploit. I live a pretty quiet, boring life comprised mostly of accounting, cleaning, dishwashing, laundry and cooking with some family, friends and neighbors thrown in for good measure and enough hugs and laughs to keep me reasonably sane.

Anyway, tomorrow is December 1st, just in case you were wondering. My usual holiday depression still has not set in. I'm not going to question that one. I will just be grateful and enjoy. However, now I'm feeling a little bit of Christmas panic because everything must be done by December 19th since we are flying out to Reno early on the 20th. Nineteen days and counting.

Whoops!

2011-11-29T14:22:00.000-06:00

I didn't mean to lie to you yesterday. I really did think it was November 29th and I really thought I only had one more day of NaBloPoMo. Maybe it's all the viral mucous invading the very recesses of my brain that is clouding my ability to think clearly.

When I got up this morning, I fully intended to go into the Clothes Closet, but as I sat in a near stupor finishing my coffee, my fever returned and I went back to bed for a two hour nap. Getting old sucks.

So, to clarify, tomorrow is the last day of NaBloPoMo. And today I will provide a quick update on the never-ending Kroger Expansion saga.

When I wrote that letter to the city council, I didn't have any illusions that it would help. What it took to finally get results was a shortened version (305 words) in the form of a Letter to the Editor published in the local newspaper (thank you, Phil) and an email I sent to Kroger headquarters pointing out their blatant hypocrisy for contributing $1.5 million toward breast cancer awareness and their unwillingness to finish erecting a damn fence to protect our children from exposure to cancer causing benzene fumes. I was a little nicer than that, but not much.

Within 72 hours, workers were back and at the end of one full day, the fence is fully constructed. Now we have a backyard that looks like this...

Sometime in the spring, Tom will pull down our old fence and finish the fence on each side to hook up to the new one just a couple of feet away. He also wants to put a gate in the fence so we can walk out our backyard to the grocery store. Isn't he clever?

Two More Days

2011-11-28T17:20:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the last day of NaBloPoMo. I'm not sure if I'm happy or a little disappointed.

I am a procrastinator. I know, you didn't know this about me. But I am. This commitment, which I could easily have discarded at any time over the last 29 days, has been sort of a welcomed catalyst to get off my very sizable ass and actually write something, no matter how mundane, meaningless or shallow, every single day.

When I look at how I've neglected my food blog, I sort of .... very marginally sort of ... wish I had made the commitment for that blog, too.

So, here's the thing. I'm still sick since the day after Thanksgiving. Fever, head and chest congestion, headache, coughing and general all around feeling lousy. If you know anything about me, you know that sleeping until 8:30 in the morning is completely out of character, but that is exactly what I did this morning....even though Tom woke me up at 7:00am to let me know he was leaving. And, I took a nap this afternoon. I know. What a loser.

I have several things in my life that apparently need attention. Over the last 29 days, I have touched on a myriad of topics that could use some in-depth exploratory surgery, or at the very least, some commentary. However, I am coughing and wheezing and sweating and currently in no position to explore anything more than how a dose of NyQuil will effect my night's sleep.

Some Things I Know For Sure

2011-11-27T11:11:00.000-06:00

We, as individuals, seem to have learned nothing from this national financial crisis. Supposedly, everyone from the middle class and below is struggling to make it financially, yet this year's Black Friday sales set records. I've seen pictures and videos of folks with handfuls of cash and they're out at Walmart, Target, Best Buy, K-mart and all the other big box stores, buying stuff...and more stuff. Yet, most of them applaud the folks in power when they advocate cut, cut, cut spending. Just sayin'

I have come to the conclusion that people who blame others for their feelings, actions, anger, sadness, depression, etc., often merely do not want to take personal responsibility.

There should be a statute of limitations on blaming your parents for the things you do as an adult.

Children would be better off if we taught them how to fail as well as succeed.

Clearing clutter from my house is hard, but it is good for my soul.

Toilet paper brands matter. The cheapest brands are the scratchiest, crumbliest and least absorbent (do I have to draw you a verbal picture?). Don't skimp.

A Lazy Afternoon

2011-11-26T17:33:00.000-06:00

This morning I met Tom at the Clothes Closet along with four other marginally and de facto old guys, all of whom emptied and removed cabinets, counters and mini-tables and chairs from the room that will become an organized boutique full of donated men's, women's and children's clothing.

Seeing the room emptied of the miscellaneous kid-oriented stuff that offered nothing to the ambiance Susie and I have been trying to create was to experience a complete transformation within a matter of just over an hour. The only stuff left in the room was boxes of clothing, portable clothes racks and walls that need repainting. Where the cabinets and cork boards were hung now revealed huge off-white squares and rectangles that stood stark against the otherwise light gray paint. David, the pastor of the church that houses the Clothes Closet, scoured the recesses of the church to find the same color paint to match the mostly gray walls, but the gallon of paint he found wasn't quite on the money. Shortly thereafter, he proudly carried in two gallons of very light blue paint, definitely enough to cover the entire room.

I thought Susie and I would be the ones to paint the room by ourselves, but David announced that he would put yet another work crew together to get it done. Running his hand over the holes in the wall where screws were removed, he said, "Some spackle, some scraping, some wiping and we'll be ready to paint." And I felt such excitement!

David said we could name the Clothes Closet whatever we wanted and he'd have the sign made. Susie and I had already been thinking about giving it a boutique sort of name, so we settled on Flip Flops, Tiaras & Boots. To us, it conjures up a little bit of everything, which is exactly what we have to offer.

When I got home around noon, I was exhausted.

Thanksgiving was great. I felt really good and had tons of energy. The next morning, my immune system took a dive and, for the rest of the day, I nursed a fever, sore throat, earache and general all around lousy feeling.

This morning I woke up feeling horrible, but as the coffee kicked in and the morning wore on, I started feeling a little better. I certainly felt good enough to go help clean out the room.

By the time I got home, turned my internal go-mode button to low, ate a turkey sandwich on a sweet potato dinner roll (aw, geez, I am already tired of leftovers), I finally allowed myself to feel how really tired I was, so I laid down and took a nap for almost two hours.

When I got up from my nap, Tom built a fire, I made myself a cup of hot Chai tea and I sat under a lap quilt and watched the last hour of Dances with Wolves.

Tonight, I'll be ready for a bowl of Chorizo and Sweet Potato Soup for dinner and a good night's sleep.

Weaving the Past to the Present

2011-11-25T15:21:00.000-06:00

Spending the morning paying bills and catching up on business bookkeeping is not the most exciting I've ever done.

It was later this afternoon that I took the opportunity to catch up on my correspondence.

During the summer, when I was doing some genealogy research, I came across an obituary for my uncle (my father's younger brother). The last time I saw or spoke with my uncle and aunt, I was about 10 or 11 years old. My father and my uncle bought a pet shop together, but their working and personal relationship faltered and my uncle and aunt moved back to Minnesota. With a little more research, I found my aunt's current address and sent a card expressing my condolences. My aunt not only responded, but she called my other aunt (my dad's sister), who in turn also wrote me a letter. After all these years, neither harbors any ill-will and both seemed genuinely thrilled to reconnect.

Today, I finally sat down and responded to both of them.

I love catching up on the lives of people I'd thought I'd lost forever.

Thankful

2011-11-24T14:13:00.000-06:00

As I have said many times, it's been a tough couple of years, but now is not the time to delve into that because I have much to be thankful for.

Today I just want focus on the good things, the uplifting things, the people that warm my heart and uplift my spirit.

I am so thankful for Tom, our marriage, our relationship. I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful man in my life.

And my sons, daughters-in-law and grandkids. My sons are good, loving sons, husbands and fathers. I never have to worry about my grandkids because I know their parents, my sons and daughters-in-law, will take good care of them, make sure they are fed well, clothed, sheltered and loved. I am grateful to have been able to talk with both of them today.

I am thankful for my health and for Tom's health.

I am thankful for being able to volunteer at the Clothes Closet and for the time, work, hugs and laughs I share with my Clothes Closet cohort, Susie, who opened up her heart and arms and welcomed my help in getting the Clothes Closet off the ground. We're not open "for business" yet, but we've hung all the donated coats, sweaters and other warm clothing on a portable rack in the hallway and the folks going to the Bread Basket food pantry next door to us have to walk right by the rack. The first day we were able to give away 30 warm coats to some very appreciative people. One woman had tears in her eyes when she took a wool coat off the hanger to take home to her husband who didn't have a winter coat. It made Susie and me tear up, too.

I am thankful for my extended family members and friends and readers, many of whom jumped in with love, support, insight and much needed humor through the very difficult first half of this year. You are all so precious to me and I appreciate each one of you.

I have a pantry and refrigerator/freezer full of food, not to mention the over-flowing extra refrigerator/freezer and free-standing freezer in the garage. My house is warm when it's cold outside, and cool when it's hot. I have a nice bed to cuddle with my husband and sleep in. I have my choice of two cars to drive ~ an SUV and a convertible, whichever strikes my mood ~ and I have the money to fill them with gas when needed.

For the first time I can ever remember, I am not depressed on Thanksgiving Day. I am hopeful, I am grateful and looking forward to the future....and even the Christmas holidays.

I wish all of you a wonderful, fun, thankful Thanksgiving Day.

It's Almost Time

2011-11-23T21:01:00.001-06:00

Just a few hours from now, most of you will be thoroughly engrossed in some sort of holiday celebration, hugging missed family and friends, laughing, reminiscing and eating your holiday favorites.

If you are traveling, be safe. If you're not, watch out for those who are.

Above all, even in the midst of all of our national problems and maybe even some personal ones, be thankful even for the small gifts in your life.

A Mere Update

2011-11-22T20:32:00.000-06:00

I am posting at the very last minute on my iPhone.

When I left this morning, there wasn't any construction going on with the protective barrier fence. When I got home from the Clothes Closet at just before noon, there was no construction taking place on the fence.

When I got home from the store about 1:30pm, I heard nail guns and circular saws near the fence.

Coincidence? Or did ranting, raving and a wiilingness to settle for nothing less than the protection of the health and safety of adjacent residence actually produce results?

Now We Know

2011-11-21T10:52:00.001-06:00

Well, now, what has transpired in the Kroger expansion saga in the last few days? Here's the update:

Half of the fence is up. Kroger representatives told the fence company to install ONLY that portion of the fence, and nothing further, to satisfy an apparent side agreement between Kroger and Bryan Patrick(? - the mayor? - who else was in on this?) in order to receive their Certificate of Occupancy. And that is exactly what the fence company did in a day and a half. When the fence reached the negotiated spot, the fence company quit...pulled off the job...before noon last Friday. The new partial eight foot fence stops mid-way in my neighbor's backyard. My next door neighbors have three little girls who will continue to be exposed to carcinogenic benzene fumes and at risk for leukemia, as will the rest of the neighbors south of them. Nice work Kroger. Nice work Bryan Patrick, director of the Conway Planning Department. Nice work Mayor Townsell and the majority of city council members.

So, the gas station opened Friday afternoon. The fence installers did not return after lunch, nor are they here this morning, although I will give them the benefit of the doubt because it is raining. But my guess is they won't be back any time soon even though it would take probably all of a day to a day and a half to complete the mandatory fence as required by the Planned Unit Development (PUD) conditions.

We have been very troubled by the urgency to open the gas station. My neighbor even sent an email to Bryan Patrick, director of the Conway Planning Department, asking why the rush to open the gas station without completion of the terms of the PUD. She has not received a response. But she found out on her own. Of course, it's all about money.

She found the following at these two sites: Research and Innovative Technology Administration (RITA) and U.S. Department of Transportation (US DOT)

Sunday After Thanksgiving is Heaviest Travel Day of the Year

The most traveled day of the holiday period - and of the entire year - is the Sunday after Thanksgiving, when 13.7 million long-distance trips are made (Figure 2). The day after Christmas is the second most traveled day during the holidays, with 12 million trips. New Year's Eve is less traveled than either Christmas or Thanksgiving, with 8.3 million people traveling. There appears to be no increased pattern of travel associated with the celebration of Hanukkah.

While Christmas and Thanksgiving record about the same amount of travel, Thanksgiving's high volume of travel is concentrated in fewer days, which places a heavier burden on the transportation system. During the five days surrounding Thanksgiving, an average of 10.8 million trips are taken per day, nearly double the average number of daily trips for the whole year; the daily average for the five days around Christmas is 9.5 million trips, but more Christmas travelers leave earlier and stay longer than Thanksgiving travelers so that trips are spread out over a longer period of time.

Okay, so we get that corporate greed trumps safety, health and compliance with laws. Kroger Co. is a corporation and greed will prevail.

But what about the city officials and nine elected representatives? Where are they? I've sent no less than six emails protesting the issuance of a COO without the completion of the mandatory protective barrier. I have received three responses, none of them from the mayor (who has never responded to any of my emails, EVER) or the representatives of my specific area (they are called "wards" here).

I will name the people who have at least responded because I want you to know who is attempting to work on behalf of their constituency and who is not. That will be important come election time.

Shelia Whitmore was the first to respond to tell me that she "told Bryan I personally was not in favor of the fuel station opening without the fence in place."

Shelley Mehl did not respond to us directly, but sent a copy of an email she sent to Bryan Patrick stating "I am not in favor of this until the fence is up. The fence was a condition of operation."

Lastly, David Grimes also did not respond to us directly, but sent a copy of his email to Bryan Patrick which states first, "I agree with Shelley. They need to build the fence first," and continues his email by asking the very question we've been asking, "How hard can it be for them to do that?" How hard indeed Mr. Grimes. A simple answer: someone in the city told them they didn't have to.

So, where are the other six elected officials? Their silence is deafening...and perhaps telling.

What conversations are taking place behind the scenes? What are these people saying to each other? How can they possibly justify jeopardizing the health and safety of citizens when all it would have taken to complete that damn fence and protect the constituency was just one more work day, or day and a half maximum, to complete the entire fence. The fencing company could have finished the fence on Saturday and Kroger could have opened on Sunday...a mere day and half delay but still before the big profitable Thanksgiving weekend. What is motivating these people? It can't be money, can it? How much revenue could the city gain in a day and a half worth of gasoline sales.....sales that are not ADDITIONAL sales, but sales drawn from surrounding gas stations whose business saw a drop because of the opening of the Kroger gas station.

As I said in my letter to the city council, there is a blatant enforcement double standard. I've known people to receive citations for using too many garage sale signs (I think we're allowed two) or leaving their garage sale signs up too long. Code enforcement routinely issues citations if you allow your grass to grow too long or leave your garbage bin on the curb too long. We've personally known code enforcement to deny a homeowner a final COO for one single 1/16th of an inch building code violation. Yet, Kroger received a COO without completing the single most safety related mandated PUD condition. How is that equal enforcement?

In early October, one of our neighbors sent us an email to let us know they had called OSHA and Arkansas EPA. The workers at the Kroger construction site had been cutting concrete blocks for days. The dust from the cutting saw, which is being used without water or any sort of dust collection system, was uncontrolled and completely permeated the air in the neighborhood, particularly for those of us who live adjacent to the construction. The dust was intolerable and likely hazardous. The air was so bad that our neighbors were unable to work in their own backyard without respiratory protection, and even then found it too overwhelming and finally retreated into their house for relief. And this was just one of many times our environment became so intolerable because of the construction. My question to Bryan Patrick that day was, "Who is responsible for monitoring Kroger’s continued disregard for and noncompliance with safety standards? How and when can we get this constant dirt and dust under some reasonable control in order to mitigate any unnecessary exposure of the surrounding residents (not to mention the workers at the construction site) from the continued physical hazards."

One of my neighbors sent an email to Tab Townsell, our illustrious mayor, inviting him to their home for dinner so that he could experience first-hand how we are impacted. The mayor didn't even have the courtesy to respond, not even to decline the invitation and apologize for any inconvenience the massive construction project has caused. Deafening silence.

But the mayor happily and quickly responded to a call from an affluent executive of Southwestern Energy, who had been denied a final COO for his newly constructed home because of obvious safety and building code violations. Wanting to be a representative of the people (well, maybe just certain people), the mayor stepped in on the executive's behalf (probably after some back-slapping and vigorous handshaking) and ordered the code enforcement department to issue the COO in spite of the violations. But, but, but...what about the homeowner with the 1/16th of an inch violation? Hmmmmm.

I have been updating my status on Facebook and posting links to this blog so family and friends can follow along. A couple of people joked (or maybe even half serious) that Kroger should provide adjacent residents with everything from a gift card to free gas and groceries for five years.

Then I started thinking. What if it is money? Or gifts? Could it be some elected officials are receiving sizable contributions to campaign coffers? Is Kroger doling out gift certificates for dinners at local restaurants for council members, city officials and a hundred of their closet friends? Or maybe tickets, lodging and dining for sporting events and such. Though, I'm only speculating, one has to wonder and question the motives of the city officials when they refuse to protect the health and safety of the citizens in deference to corporate demands. Just sayin'

A Day in the Life

2011-11-20T13:25:00.000-06:00

Have you ever wondered what your dog is thinking when Fido sits at your feet and stares at you? Is he thinking, I'm hungry, feed me? Or, I'm feeling a little insecure and I could use a pat on the head right about now? Or maybe, I sure hope you don't find that shoe I chewed up and buried in the corner of the backyard.

Tom and I have often wished someone would invent a real 'talking dog collar" like the one in the animated Disney movie, UP. The collar receives brain signals from the dog, translates them into human English words and sentences, and Voila! the dog is communicating in words we understand.

We have wracked our brains trying to come up with a method that will capture, if not what our dog Joe is thinking, at the very least what his daily life experience is like. I believe we've finally accomplished our goal.

Through the magic of telegenic science, we have penetrated the very recesses of Joe's consciousness. While this experiment does not provide the comprehensive conversational exchange between a human and pet as a talking dog collar would, we have been able to at least transform Joe's consciousness it into a visually stunning depiction of how Joe experiences the world around him.

The experience is so overwhelming to the human psyche, we recommend you watch the 44-second video once, then take a break to allow your mind to process what you've seen. But, we believe this provides a definitive portrayal of Joe's chaotic day.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

2011-11-19T11:26:00.000-06:00

I was born and raised in California and lived most of my adult life there. There are very specific things that evoke a yearning to be back there, but Oceanside Harbor is one. Tom kept his sailboat in the marina there and we'd sail out for a couple of hours on a afternoon. Sometimes we'd spend the night on the boat. It was like a mini-vacation. We frequented the restaurants around the harbor and looked forward every fall to Harbor Days, a huge arts and crafts event not rivaled by anything here in Arkansas.

San Diego harbor is another. We'd drive down from Carlsbad for the day, a wander through Seaport Village, take a boat excursion, eat Crab Louie for lunch at Anthony's overlooking San Diego bay.

Of course, the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles is very special to me. I can't count the number of musicals and plays Tom and I enjoyed there, including Phantom of the Opera with none other than the incomparable Michael Crawford. We've seen Phantom a number of times, but every other performance never quite measures up to Mr. Crawford.

This morning I read a new blog post by my friend, Karin, at Altadena Hiker, one of my favorite writers. It made me miss something about California that isn't entertainment or distraction. I miss the diversity.

Photo Source Northwesternflipside.com
It's weird living somewhere so one-dimensional. I grew up hearing many accents and languages everywhere around me and even more so as the influx of immigrants grew after I became an adult. It's an odd feeling to hear only a southern accent. It's feels peculiar to look out over a crowd and see almost exclusively light faces. The occasional brown face is a stark contrast and I often wonder how that person feels, or if they even notice.

When I went to work at Philander Smith College, an historically black college, my colleagues thought I was nuts. But, working at PSC was a multi-dimensional sensory experience. I think one of the reasons I felt so comfortable working there surrounded by so many people of color was because, visually, it felt familiar. I felt like I was back in California. It felt like home.

I'm so depressed

2011-11-18T19:15:00.001-06:00

Did you hear that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are divorcing? My faith is shaken. I may not survive this. Proof positive that nothing lasts forever.

Tom, upon hearing the news, immediately thought he'd take a trip to California to console Demi, but then thought better of it after he read about Demi's dumps....the human kind, not the human excrement kind. Tom was fearful he might just become another Demi dump.

And I'm thinkin', good choice Dude.

A Losing Hand

2011-11-17T19:21:00.000-06:00

I feel like I'm deeply entrenched in the card game called Bull Shit.

What has happened since my post yesterday when I reported that the Planning Department was going to issue a temporary Certificate of Operation (is that their job or code enforcement?) and my subsequent 6 or 7 emails of protest and indignation and the Planning Department's wimpy agreement to accept half of a fence, as though that would be acceptable to all of the residents who are at risk for benzene exposure and other carcinogens emitted by the, um, fuel center (because after all, when you're upscale you cannot call it a gas station)?

Just a brief side note. Isn't it interesting that when Kroger has a criteria that must be accomplished that, even in the dark of night, workers are still setting 2X4's to meet tomorrow's deadline. It is just past 7:00pm and the fencing company workers are still working....in the freaking dark.

So, late this afternoon I finally finished the letter the do-nothing, discriminatory, shoulder shrugging mayor and city council. Following is, in its entirety, the letter to the mayor and city council concerning the Kroger temporary Certificate of Occupancy:

November 17, 2011

A Letter to the Mayor and City Council:

Bryan Patrick’s email of November 15th at the close of business day was completely unexpected, considering that we were informed just 10 days prior that Kroger would not receive a certificate of operation prior to the completed construction of the protective barrier fencing. Apparently, someone rattled a cage on Kroger’s behalf.

This last debacle is just another in a long line of half-truths, misleading statements and broken promises.

In response to Mr. Patrick’s e-mail regarding the latest fuel center/protective barrier issue, I would like to bring up two points.

First, when we overheard the information that Kroger was attempting to open the gas station prior to the full completion of the PUD and we made inquiries as to why this would be permitted, Mr. Cobb’s initial response was to innocently claim that his belief was that everyone understood that this project would be done in phases. In our response to Mr. Cobb’s claim, we made it clear that our understanding from the hearings and meetings was that this project would not be given a final operating permit until all aspects of the PUD were completed

Secondly, Mr. Patrick has indicated in nearly all of his email communications that there is nothing in the PUD that says Kroger can’t do ‘this or that’ with regard to full completion vs. opening parts of the PUD prior to full completion.

However, we have read the general guidelines for a Planned Unit Development and cannot find anything within the ordinance that addresses temporary approval to commence operation of any part of the PUD. In fact this very point was brought up at a council meeting by one of the residents because of our concerns about enforcement of requirements and promises. The former land owner and Kroger promised to build a fence when the current store was built, but the fence never materialized. At that same meeting, we were assured by a council member that if a fence and tree barrier is listed in the PUD conditions, Kroger would have to complete every condition prior to being given a C.O.O. Consequently we were led to believe that everything in the PUD would have to be done prior to Kroger opening anything. To our knowledge, a “development phasing and construction schedule” was never submitted with the PUD application, although the ordinance states it is a requirement. The only mention of a schedule was a 14-month build from start to finish.

At the final approval meeting, Alderman Hawkins moved to adopt the ordinance for the PUD with the conditions stated. There was no discussion. Not once in any meeting was the subject of phases or temporary certificates brought up or mentioned. If the phases would have been mentioned, you can be sure that we would have argued that for health and safety issues, the protective barrier must be completed prior to opening the gas station.

I am not a lawyer, but my understanding is that a PUD is basically a contract that states they (Kroger) will build this store and fuel center with the listed conditions and you (the City) will give them a permit to operate. I don’t know many contracts that allow one side to insert, at their will, new time lines or stipulations without everyone agreeing to them.

You signed this contract with Kroger when you approved this PUD. We as citizens took you at your word that you would follow this contract and its conditions for the betterment of the community and the protection of its citizens.

The email Mr. Patrick sent yesterday morning outlined an apparent agreement for the partial completion of the barrier fence. This was simply insulting and laughable. It was also patently false and misleading which we learned inadvertently during a conversation with the fencing superintendent for Arkansas Fence, the contractor hired to erect the fence. In fact, we were told that Arkansas Fence has not been instructed to “build the fence.” They have been instructed to build ONLY that portion of the fence which is outlined in Mr. Patrick’s email and nothing more. There is no intention of “completion of the remaining fence [being] expected shortly thereafter.” Given the history with Kroger this past year, I doubt anyone is surprised.

We are rather weary and well beyond angry at the gross double standard applied when it comes to ordinance and other code enforcement. Ordinary citizens, like us, are given citations for having too many garage sales signs, allowing our grass to grow an inch too long or for leaving our garbage bins at the curb more than an afternoon. Our health, safety and quality of life concerns are either ignored or met with half-truths, misrepresentations, omissions and shoulder shrugs. However, if a citizen is affluent and/or well connected, a final residential permit will be issued in spite of glaring and unsafe building code violations, a church will be allowed to ignore city codes to the detriment of the surrounding community and Kroger will be issued a temporary operating permit for the gas station even though you are not requiring them to complete the health and safety barrier fence and trees to which they agreed even at the risk of potential harm to surrounding families.

What happened to honesty, integrity, compassion and service to the community, a job for which you were elected? Not just a finite segment of the community, but all of us.
You are politicians elected by the people. Someone once said, “Politics is like a game of cards. If you’re well connected or a large corporation, you’re automatically in the game. If you’re an ordinary citizen without resources, you don’t even get table stakes.”

It is not enough to merely shrug your shoulders and say you voted against it. Where is the leadership, concern and protection ~ and, yes, trust ~ we should be able to expect from our city council? As ordinary citizens, we expect our city council to sit at the table on our behalf.

Terri & Tom Powers

Do I harbor any illusions that it will do any good? Nope. But it felt good letting them know how completely useless and inept I think they are.

The Joke

2011-11-16T18:40:00.001-06:00

Yesterday at 5:45pm we received an email from the Conway planning department informing us (the neighbors adjacent to the Kroger expansion) that a temporary certificate of operation would be issued to the gas station...er, upscale fuel center...to begin operation today.

Five pointed emails and twelve hours later, the temporary certificate of operation has been put on hold pending the HALF completion of the required protective barrier fencing required in the PUD stipulations.

I concede that the whole thing is basically bull shit. We, as the residents adjacent to the Kroger expansion, have apparently been charged with over-seeing the compliance of the Kroger expansion. This is not by our choosing. It is by default because of the complete inability and unwillingness of the current city council to rise to the challenge of doing their jobs and provide representation to those of us who have little or no power, i.e. gross amounts of money.

Since yesterday evening, I've sent no less than 6 or 7 emails, but none of which address the entire "we're getting screwed" scenario. We're in the middle of writing another email which addresses just that.

My lips are pursed. My teeth are clenched. I'm just pissed off. Stay tuned.

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

2011-11-15T16:28:00.001-06:00

Instead I got an air conditioning garden.

I know that doesn't make sense, but, trust me, it will once you see the photos.

But let me back up to the beginning. Well, not so much the beginning but in the middle of the progress.

You see, as part of the requirements of the Kroger expansion, Kroger officials agreed to build an 8-foot fence (big of them, don't you think?) as a barrier to protect our adjacent neighborhood from the view of the expanded store, humungous parking lot, 14-bay gas station, the new road that has been cut which runs the entire length of all adjacent properties and the light, noise and fumes generated by all of the aforementioned.

But let's be realistic. I don't know if you can make it out or not, but look carefully at the photo below. I took the photo from my patio. It is the view my neighbors three and four doors down have from their homes and backyards. See the tan colored mass between the trees that looks like it is in their backyards? That's not a hazy sky. It is a massive 30-foot high and 200-foot wide sidewall for the expanded store.

Eight foot high fence; 30-foot high wall. You do the math and tell me how effective that fence will be as a protective barrier.

So back to the fence building. The gas station...oh, excuse me, we're supposed to call a fuel center because this is an upscale, status project...was coming along pretty quickly and about a month ago Tom overheard the store manager tell another customer that they wanted to open the gas station in a couple of months. But, but, but... while they're working feverishly on the, er, fuel center, what about the fence that is supposed to be the protective barrier? There was no evidence that the construction of the fence had even begun.

Our neighbor emailed the director of the planning department to ask about the fence. The director emailed Kroger (not the store, it's representative). The senior construction manager responded to the director with the following:

"Hopefully everyone had/has the understanding that this project has to be “phased”. We cannot complete everything at the same time or wait until this is complete before doing something else. On most construction projects I have worked on, the landscaping [emphasis mine] is normally completed at the end of the project. Many other activities have to be completed prior to the “final touches”[emphasis mine].

I can assure you that the project will be completed per the PUD, that is, when we are 100% complete."

At the final city council meeting when the project was approved, the fence was a HUGE deal and it was agreed by all parties that it was, in fact, intended as a protective barrier, certainly not as landscaping or a finishing touch.

I know you wouldn't have guessed that I have a propensity for writing curt letters to federal, state and local representatives when I believe they have a responsibility to their constituents. Yeah. Guilty.

I was furious, so I sat down at my computer, penned the following email and sent it to every single person I could think of: the mayor, every single city council member, the planning commission, building code enforcement and the editor of the local newspaper. I am sharing it in it's entirety, except for the construction manager's telephone number...

"Mayor Townsell
Alderman Hawkins
Alderman Grimes
Alderman Vaught
Alderwoman Mehl
Alderman Rhodes
Alderwoman Smith
Alderman Jones
Alderwoman Whitmore

I realize this email will most likely fall on deaf ears. Mayor Townsell and the five council members who voted in favor of the Kroger expansion will have what Mayor Townsell called your “status store.” Construction is well underway.

First let me rant, which will probably negate the perfectly reasonable request I will make later, but as I sit here at my desk at 7:00am listening to roto-hammers, steel saws and heavy construction equipment beeping constantly, I am more frustrated than I can even articulate.

For the last few months, we and our neighbors have endured heavy construction noise from sun up to sun down, seven days a week. Construction noise starts no later than 6:30am and doesn’t stop until 6:30pm, sometimes even later. Friday night it continued until well after 7:00pm. Every single day. As I sit here at my desk, heavy construction equipment is working just beyond my back fence and I can feel my desk and laptop vibrating underneath my hands and I can hear my windows and cabinet doors rattling. The roof for the gas station that we were assured would not be visible from our yards, is nearly fully constructed and now clearly visible from my home in spite of the mature landscaping in my yard and that of my neighbor’s.

I have to wonder how those council members who voted in favor of the expansion would feel if they were my neighbors just three doors down. Kroger has expanded the small market to literally within a few feet of their backyards. Where there used to be a "buffer zone" sits the end of the building that will be the super center, a gray brick wall about 30 feet high and about 200 wide. The 8-foot fence Kroger finally agreed to build will not help my neighbors.

When we moved into our home five years ago, we went to great expense to construct a large covered patio, with lights and fans, and install a spa. When the weather permitted, even when it was raining, we enjoyed quiet mornings on the patio over coffee and quiet evenings over a glass of wine and dinner. Now our mornings and evenings are spent inside because the constant noise is so intolerable and our patio and patio furniture is covered with a perpetual layer of orange dirt, which has also settled on the seats and floor of our spa.

At one point, I believe one of our neighbors contacted the Planning Department at the outset of construction because of the constant huge brown dust storms created by the tractors, skip-loaders, trucks and graders. A water truck was used a couple of times, but not enough to alleviate the dirt in the air, then the water truck quickly disappeared. Now we just pray for rain.

What this expansion project has done and will continue to do to the tranquility and quality of life of those of us most directly impacted is immeasurable. But, for the most part, we have been silent.

A few weeks ago, we (the residents adjacent to the Kroger store expansion) discovered that Kroger plans to open the gas station within the next two months.

When we presented our objections to this project, you, the members of the city council, assured us that all of the conditions in the PUD would have to be completed prior to Kroger being given the final permit. These conditions included an 8-foot high fence and trees to provide a protective barrier from the noise, light and cancer causing gas fumes from reaching the residences. Since the city council included these conditions, we felt that you were at least attempting to address our concerns and protect our health and tranquility.

After learning about Kroger’s plan to open the gas station, we inquired about the absence of the required protective barriers. A Kroger representative minimized our concerns by referring to the barriers as “final touches” and “landscaping”. The text of the email response sent to Bryan Patrick is as follows:

“Hopefully everyone had/has the understanding that this project has to be “phased”. We cannot complete everything at the same time or wait until this is complete before doing something else. On most construction projects I have worked on, the landscaping is normally completed at the end of the project. Many other activities have to be completed prior to the “final touches”.

I can assure you that the project will be completed per the PUD, that is, when we are 100% complete.

Thanks,

Dennis Cobb
Sr. Construction Manager
Kroger Mid-Central Region
(000-000-0000)

Those of us in opposition to and directly impacted by this project did not have the understanding that this project would be phased. At no time during public hearings with the Planning Commission or the City Council, nor anywhere in the PUD conditions was it mentioned that the project would be built in phases and that Kroger would be permitted to open the gas station prior to the protective barrier (the aforementioned 8-foot fence and trees) being in place. To the contrary, at the November 23rd council meeting when the PUD was approved, we were specifically assured that if a condition is specified in the PUD then the builder cannot receive its permit to operate until all conditions have been met. Since the protective barrier was a major item of concern because of the close proximity of the gas station, we are firm in our demand that these items be completed prior to a permit being issued for the gas station.

Bryan Patrick has stated that there is nothing in the final development plan that would prohibit the fuel station from opening prior to the expanded store. This was not our understanding.

Mr. Patrick has also asked Kroger to consider at the very least erecting the 8-foot fence prior to opening the gas station. To my knowledge, he has yet to receive a reply.

We, as your constituents, took you at your word that all of the conditions would be met prior to the facility being opened. However, if this project is to be done in “phases” then we would ask you to intervene on our behalf and withhold permits to operate until at the very least the necessary protective barriers are in place.

Thank you for your consideration.

Terri & Tom Powers"

Not too bad, right? So what transpired? Not much. One council member said it was just a timing issue. Two others agreed with us. I didn't hear from the rest of the council or the mayor. Invisible shrugging shoulders. Wow. Thanks. Impressive. And if you weren't able to guess, that wasn't good enough for me. Hence, the following email to the planning department director:

"Dear Bryan:

I would like to start by thanking you for your continued work on the problems created by the Kroger expansion.

After only three responses from the city council members, I am following up directly with you after the email we sent to the city council earlier this week, a copy of which you should have received. After talking to several of the residents in the Rosewood Terrace subdivision, we would like to stress a specific point.

In Mr. Cobb’s response to you concerning our inquiry about the 8-foot fence and trees, he minimized their purpose and importance by referring to them as “landscaping and finishing touches.” We beg to disagree.

Further, in his response he said, “Hopefully everyone had/has the understanding that this project has to be phased”. We have reviewed the minutes of all the hearings and meetings ad nowhere in those discussions were any references to the expansion being “phased.”

If you have reviewed the minutes of the November 23rd council meeting, you will note that one item specifically was of major concern: the 8-foot fence and landscaping needed to protect the residents from the fumes, light and noise of the gas station. At that meeting, Mr. Robert Brown, on behalf of Kroger, explained that the “fuel center area has also had enhancements to increase the screening elements of this area.” Mr. Cobb presented a drawing of a solid wood fence design that would help prevent the gas fumes from reaching the residents. Mr. Cobb went on to say that these conditions along with the buffering ideas had been proposed in an effort to address the concerns raised about the fuel center fumes, noise and light. At no time did anyone consider these protective measures “finishing touches” or mere landscaping. Clearly, everyone understood and was in agreement as to the purpose of the fence and that was as a protective barrier from the issues and concerns surrounding the fuel center.

Now Kroger wants to open the fuel center a year or more prior to completing the “finishing touches and landscaping”. This would be a complete disregard for the safety and health concerns of the surrounding residences, as well as reneging on the understanding of the purpose of the requirements for the approval of the PUD.

Obviously, we have no control over whether or not the project is to be “phased.” However, since this project is going to be “phased,” it is imperative that the safety and protective barriers also be in place. Everyone agreed and understood the primary purpose of the fence was to act as a safety and protective barrier between the residences and the fuel center fumes, noise and lighting. We believe it would not be unreasonable to require Kroger to complete these conditions prior to receiving final permits to open the fuel center.

Once they complete these conditions, they could be allowed to open the fuel center and continue with their “phased” completion of the project, but not before.

Thank you for your cooperation and please keep us advised as to progress.

Terri & Tom Powers"

Look, I know this is all too much information so I hope you just skimmed through those emails. Except I left out the really curt, smoking ears email I sent to the mayor and every city council member the day of Tom's birthday, about a week after all the other communications transpired. It was short and sweet and clearly expressed weeks of frustration:

"It is 6:20 pm. Today is my husband’s birthday. We planned a beautiful evening outside because the weather is beautiful. But our evening in ruined.

Since 6:30 am this morning we have listened to construction. Now it is 6:22pm and the construction continues. Kroger is pouring concrete, installing roofing and construction equipment continues to ‘beep-beep-beep-beep’ until the constant noise is intolerable. Noise ordinance? What noise ordinance?

So, to those city council members who voted for this behemoth that has invaded our entire lives, tell me how your evening plans are going?. How is your quality of life? Are you able to enjoy your backyards? Of course you are because you do not live here. Thanks so much."

Shortly thereafter laborers started clearing brush along the fence line in preparation for the fence, although we weren't informed of that directly. We talked to the laborers performing the work. When they were done clearing, our view went from this....

to this....

And for the last month, we've had a wonderful, unobstructed view of continued construction. Last week, though, they finally set the posts for the fence and we are now waiting for fence construction to commence.

In the meantime, as I said, we have an unobstructed view, so when their vendor delivered the new air conditioning units last Saturday, their arrival could not be missed.

I said to Tom when he got home, "Look at what was delivered today. Are those construction trailers?

"I don't know," he said. "Let me go see."

They are not construction trailers. They are the air conditioning units that will be installed on the roof ~ the new roof just a few feet from our neighbors' yards ~ of the expanded portion of the new upscale, status Kroger store.

They are still sitting there today because the new roof isn't finished. And they may be sitting there for awhile, so we get a view on construction and ugly.

But my friend, Dorothy, had an awesome idea. For decorative effect, we should paint them. I suggested we paint them to match the Adirondack chairs I'm painting for my backyard: lavender, salmon, yellow and aqua.

I may have to go paint shopping tomorrow.