The Tasty Cheapskate

Oat Chocolate Chip Breakfast Cookies

2013-05-21T06:27:00.001-07:00

For a long time I've been after a chocolate chip breakfast cookie that I really love. I've got this one, which is good (though I always knew wasn't perfect), but still usually gets trumped out of the breakfast scene by these or these or these(worst pic ever and I make these at least once a week--time to fix that picture) or even these. So I was looking for something that could really compete. And I found it.

The oat flour in these takes a good breakfast cookie to a great one. And if you like macadamia nuts, then these will be better to you than some dessert cookies. (Note: I love macadamia nuts; my family doesn't like "chunkies"--unless those chunkies are comprised of chocolate of course--so I usually just put a handful of nuts in the last bit of batter and make myself some with nuts.)

The taste alone is enough to sell me on this cookie, but it gets even better because if you're worried about allergies, gluten, or need an easily veganned breakfast cookie, this cookie is:

-Potentially gluten-free (use all oat flour--a type that hasn't been processed with gluten stuff)
-low sugar
-whole grain
-egg free
-potentially vegan (sub that milk out with almond or soy or whatever and sub the chocolate chips out with whatever vegans usually use for chocolate--or skip the chocolate chips all together and use raisins or nuts; this is still a great) cookie

Oat Chocolate Chip Breakfast Cookies
adapted from Chocolate-Covered Katie
makes 12 smallish cookies
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 8 minutes
Cost: $.85
oats: .30, sugar: .10, chocolate chips: .30, milk: .05, oil: .10

Note: You can use all oat flour. I think this is my favorite. I've also tried it with 2/3 C whole wheat flour and 1/2 C oat, which is also good. And I'm betting you could use a lot of different grains for that 2/3 C if you wanted to experiment or do a cookie with different grains/textures.

2/3 + 1/2 C oat flour
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
4 Tbsp brown sugar (or 2 Tbsp brown, 2 Tbsp white)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 Tbsp coconut oil in liquid state (or another vegetable oil)
1/4-1/2 C chocolate chips
5-6 Tbsp milk (can sub out vegan types of milk if needed)

Preheat oven to 375. Combine dry ingredients and add wet ingredients. Now, form this into a big ball and then make little balls from the big one. I know that sounds weird, but it works the best for these cookies (unless you've been generous with the milk, in which case, you can just drop them). Then flatted the balls with your hand or a spatula.

Bake for 6-8 minutes. Let cool.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Breakfast for Dinner

2013-05-16T17:29:00.002-07:00

So I was totally planning to do a new breakfast cookie post today, but burned my finger kinda bad at dinner, which makes typing a little difficult.

So in honor of breakfast, here are a few links to some of our favorite breakfasts for dinner. I whip these (or things like them) out at least once a week--either when dinner hasn't been well-planned (shocking) or we're short on time (also shocking) or just to keep it cheap. All can be made in 30 minutes or less and cost just a few dollars to feed a family. I think breakfast for dinner a time or two a week is one of the best ways to save money. Serve with some fruit or a salad if you're worried about veggies although several of these even manage to incorporate greens.

1. Bacon Swiss Egg Bake. I love this stuff. And look there's green goodness in it too (pictured above).

2. German Pancakes (Dutch babies). So EASY. And a great thing to do if you find yourself with too many eggs or if eggs go on a wicked sale. (pictured at bottom of post)

3. Potato, Bacon, and Cheddar Bake. You can also add greens or other veggies. Though I truly believe there is nothing in this world wrong with some eggs and potatoes on occasion.

4. Blender Waffles. Make in a blender--forget that egg yolk/white separating stuff. And a nice treat every so often.

Brocomole

2013-05-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

This month for Secret Recipe Club, I had Learning Patience. It didn't take me long to pick a recipe called Brocomole. Why? Because broccoli has been on sale lately. And Kip loves it. In fact, in a cruel twist of marital fate, it was the one veggie he really loved when we got married and the one (though I love almost all vegetables) that I really didn't care for. In an even more cruel familial twist, it is one of the few vegetables that my entire family will consume whether they love it or not (Mark eats his paltry and mandatory piece doused in BBQ sauce, but he eats it). Consequently, I've learned to appreciate it more. I've even come to love it roasted (oh, mama), though we eat it steamed more often because (mysterious to me) that is how the masses tend to prefer it around here. As a kid steamed broccoli was one of those foods I would not eat. And yet my son who eats, like 7 foods total is willing to choke it down if he wants dessert (and, yes, there are many many foods he is not willing to choke down, dessert or not). So every time I discover broccoli in a new, fun way, I go for it. Brocomole is just that. It is a broccoli dip. With cream cheese and sour cream. And it's delicious.

Beyond deliciousness, however, it is versatile. You can eat it with crackers for lunch (this is the route I went), but it would also be a fun party dip or appetizer or side/veggie dish at dinner (how I plan to introduce my family to it--nothing like a pile of crackers on the side to get then to try their veggies). I bet you could even use it as a mayonnaise substitute on a sandwich to very good effect. Also, it can be made as I did with garlic, salt, and pepper, and a little onion and cayenne. But I bet it'd kick butt with dill and parsley. Or even a Tbsp of ranch powder. Or some pesto. Or whatever. So, yes, versatile.

Furthermore, I'd be willing to bet that if you didn't have broccoli you could make it with cauliflower (that way it would even be white and no one would have to confront greenness) or kale.

Brocomole
adapted from Learning Patience
Makes about 1 1/2 C
Prep time: 6-7 minutes
Cost: $1.20 with sale broccoli and cream cheese (probably closer to 1.50 or 1.75 if items not on sale)
broccoli: .50, cream cheese: .50, sour cream: .15, garlic: .05,

Note on cayenne and other seasonings: The seasonings in this will strengthen the longer it sits. So if you plan to serve it soon, feel free to go all nuts. However, if you plan to serve it the day after you make it, be careful, especially with potent things like cayenne. I made this a day ago and the cayenne was perfect; today when I had my leftovers it was (still good, but) more wowza. So, be warned.

1 head broccoli, cut
juice and zest from 1/2 lemon (if you don't have a lemon, you can use 1/2-1 Tbsp lemon juice here instead)
4 oz cream cheese
2 oz (2 Tbsp) sour cream
1-2 cloves garlic
dash onion powder
3 chives
tiny dash cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste

Cook the broccoli. I did this in the microwave. Put broccoli in microwave-safe bowl with a bit of water. Then cover with plastic and cook for 3-4 minutes or until tender. (Be careful when removing plastic--the steam will whoosh out and could burn you.) Note: This could also be the perfect recipe for leftover broccoli. If you've got a cup or two leftover, go for it.

Put broccoli and rest of ingredients in food processor (blender would probably work too if it's a decent one, though this stuff is fairly thick) and process away.

Let cool and eat with crackers or other vegetables for dipping.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Salted Caramel Frosting

2013-05-08T13:06:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday.

I'm getting a little older. Usually I don't let this bother me. I have--as they say--an old soul. Which is all well and good until your old soul meets your aging body, and then you start to wonder if this whole getting older thing might be kind of pesty after all. In fact, in the making of this very cake, I was just standing there by the stove--just standing. And all the sudden my knee had this excruciating pain shoot through it. For the next two hours, it hurt to walk. And then whatever was pinched through the exertion of that intense bout of standing on my own two legs that I unkindly subjected my body to got unpinched and I was saved. When I told my husband (two years my elder, btw) about it, he said, "Welcome to 36."

Anyway, to celebrate getting older and being a masochist at the same time, I decided I wanted a swimsuit for my birthday. Which inevitably entailed swimsuit shopping. Which inevitably entailed confronting the fact that I now have armpit fat (that little lip of fleshy stuff that hangs over the top of the swimsuit--tell me I'm not the only one, people). Which inevitably entailed another reminder that I am no longer 16 (and, truly, thank heavens that this is so, armpit fat be darned).

So to celebrate not being sixteen and discovering the joys of armpit fat, I made the best cake of my life. And not to put too fine a point on it, I've made some pretty incredible cakes in my time. This was a 3-layer chocolate cake with caramel frosting on the inside layers and chocolate frosting on the outside.

Disclaimer: This cake will not give you armpit fat per se. I don't want people deterred from making this delight because I--for reasons inexplicable even to myself--have prefaced this post with a discussion of armpit fat. Getting older gives you armpit fat. Because armpit fat is really a combination of loose skin and saggy boobs, being pushed up by the merciless spandex-y stuff that swimsuits are made of. I am not recommending you make this cake every day. In fact, I will take a moment right now to not recommend that. But for your birthday--you totally should. It will keep you young. Especially if you lick the beaters (and share them with your kids). It will keep you from that 16-year-old self that was so afraid of getting fat that she filled her journal with ramblings about that topic. It will keep you connected to your recently deceased mother who made you whatever cake you wanted for your birthday--always homemade, often homely, delicious. It will keep you the best parts of young and the best parts of old. Promise.

Today it is about the caramel frosting that I wish to speak.

My friend gave me the idea--nay, the obsession--by introducing me to an absolutely divine frosting a few weeks ago. Hers was amazing. I kept imagining it in combination with chocolate. Ah, such happy birthday imaginings. (Dieters--stop imagining. And, as a general piece of advice, stop writing about getting fat or hoping not to get fat or all the things that might make you fat in your journals, okay. Because one day you'll go back and read them and you'll think--sadly--"I wish I could remember what St. Nicolas Day was like in The Netherlands." But you won't be able to remember well because all you will have written about your time in that lovely country was your terrible fears that--even though you're biking miles every day and generally eat very healthfully (and incidentally--were not at all fat)--you will somehow manage to suddenly gain trillions of pounds and be repulsive to all around you. Just stop it. Not that I know this from personal experience or anything...I just think that as a general practice it's probably a bad idea.)

Okay, enough with speaking. Let me tell you how to make it.

Salted Caramel Frosting
frosts 1 9-inch cake (to have it frost a big one like this entirely--not a bad idea--you'd need to double it)
Prep/cook time: 30 minutes, plus a period of cooling
Cost: $1.25
sugar: .10, cream: .50, butter: .50, powdered sugar: .15

1/2 C sugar
4 Tbsp water
1/2 C cream (heated for 30-60 seconds in the microwave)
12 Tbsp unsalted butter
3/4 tsp salt
1 Tbsp vanilla
2 C powdered sugar

Put sugar and water in a pan. Heat. Don't mix it or anything. Just let the sugar melt and start to turn color. The liquid sugar will start to bubble and boil. It might even crystalize a bit. That's okay. If it starts to crystalize (the bubbles will look a little crystally), just gently stir with a wooden spoon or spatula. Do this until it turns deep amber in color and smells awesome. This took me a while, but until the end, I didn't need to pay much attention to it. I did dishes and got stuff ready.

Then, take off the stove and whisk in the cream. Keep whisking until your stuff comes together.

Let this cool. I put it in the fridge for 20-30 minutes.

When it's cool (and it is important that it cool--otherwise this will not turn out right), put butter and salt (I'd start with 1/2 tsp salt) in a bowl and beat it. When it's fluffy add the caramel you made and beat. Then add the powdered sugar, one cup at a time and beat.

Allow this to sit for a few minutes. The flavors will meld. I know that sounds a little whacky, but it's true. When I first tasted mine, it was good. But after 30 more minutes, it was amazing. Of course, this would probably happen on your cake anyway...

PRINTABLE RECIPE

To make a cake such as I did:

Make the above caramel frosting.
Make Kip's fudge frosting.
Make Best Ever Chocolate Cake.

Put the caramel frosting between layers and the chocolate frosting on the outside.

Spinach Artichoke Pizza

2013-05-06T19:15:00.002-07:00

I made this one night when we had friends (and their 5 kids over). I made several pizzas--pepperoni, my ranch pizza, and this. It was a riff off of one of my favorite dips, and boy howdy, this pizza won the day. By a long shot. And I even burned the cheese a little and it was still much loved. Make it. Love it. Eat it.

Spinach Artichoke Pizza
makes 1 large (or even extra large) pizza
Prep time: 15 minutes (not counting crust here; just topping part)
Cook time: 15 minutes
Cost: $6.65
cream cheese: 1.00, mayo: .15, spinach: 1.00, artichoke hearts: 2.00, Parmesan cheese: 1.00, mozzarella cheese: 1.50

1 crust of your choosing (I usually do a breadmaker one, but I love this quick one too)
8 oz cream cheese
1/4 C mayonnaise
1 clove garlic, minced
5 oz spinach, chopped small and cooked (you can microwave with a bit of water or cook in the skillet--you want it wilted; then drain the water off)
1 can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped a bit
1/2 C Parmesan cheese to mix in
1/2 C Parmesan cheese to add on top
1 1/2 C mozzarella cheese

Spread out the dough for your crust.

Beat together cream cheese and mayo. Add garlic, cooked (and drained) spinach, artichoke hearts, and 1/2 C Parmesan cheese.

Spread this on your crust.

Top with 1/2 C Parmesan cheese (or Romano if you want to switch it up just a tiny bit) and 1 1/2 C mozzarella cheese.

Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Chocolate Avocado Pudding

2013-05-02T12:22:00.000-07:00

Who's late to the party again? Me, that's who. I've been seeing links to recipes like this for ages and have meant to try this for ages. But I just barely got around to it. A bunch of ripe $.39 avocados were helpful. Maybe you come late to parties too. If you do, we can hang out in the corner eating our chocolate avocado puddings together. We won't regret it.

We can even invite our husbands over. Even if they claim not to like avocado. Kip gobbled up half of mine the other day and liked it. It came from a blender so he knew something was up and asked what was in it. I told him that the food industry has their little secrets and I've got mine.

This is so delicious and so smooth. It is more in texture to Jello pudding than most homemade puddings (whether that's a selling point for you or not). I hate Jello pudding, but I think they go for that texture for a reason--it's smooth and just thick enough. That's how this pudding is. It's very very creamy and the texture--I mean, it's just perfect.

The other thing I love about this (besides it being delicious because it really is--I crave it every time I tell someone about it) is that even though there's an avocado in it, it will keep. You can eat part now and part the next day. You can put it in school lunches. You can make it ahead. Unlike homemade guacamole, which looks like the compost bin ate it by day two.

This is not a vegan version, but I'd bet my buttons you could vegan it in an instant. I recommend using canned coconut milk and real maple syrup to do so.

The one thing you should be aware of with this pudding is that it's dessert. I know. I know. It's dessert that you just threw a super food into and I'm sure your skin will thank you, but it's still got 1/4 C sugar for what could easily be considered one large serving or two small ones. And that's a lot. I tried making it with half the sugar and half the cocoa (knowing that adding half the sugar and all the cocoa could make it a bitter disaster). It wasn't terrible. I ate it. But it wasn't chocolate pudding. It was an avocado-type-chocolate-ish smoothie.

The other thing I should tell you is that this is really very filling. I don't know what it is about avocado, but it is so so filling to me. The day I tried eating this all by myself (for breakfast--it was the lower sugar experiment), it was all I ate and I could barely get it all down and was not even close to hungry at my next meal. When I ate a half serving of this, I still got till 1:00 before being hungry for lunch. And, yes, I know avocado has, like, 22 grams of fat, but so does 1/4 C of butter and I don't think it will fill me up the same way (but then I've never made a butter smoothie--hmmm--bet I'd be the first one to that party).

Chocolate Avocado Pudding
serves 2
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cost: $.70
(avocado: .50-1.00, milk: .05, sugar: .05, cocoa: .10)

Note: I used a small blender for this. Using a big one might be difficult because the blades might pass right over the avocado. If you only have a large blender, I recommend doubling or tripling and scraping down the sides frequently.

1 ripe (but not overripe) avocado
1/4 C sugar (or pure maple syrup, which I also tried and to good effect, though it adds a slight maple flavor to the end product)
1/4 C cocoa
6-7 Tbsp milk
drop vanilla (optional)

Blend in blender.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

My Favorite Herbs and What They're Good For

2013-04-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

And now a poem about herbs:

I love herbs.
It's one of those things that makes me a nerd(s).

Wow. If that has inspired you like it inspired me, here's some more stuff about herbs.

My number 1 favorite herb to grow.

Basil. It just is. It's pretty. It's easy to sow from seed. It's great in pots or garden beds. I love to eat it. I make pestos like a crazed woman and then I freeze them in ice cube trays and eat it all year long. It flowers and attracts bees. It could go in a bouquet if you wanted to (and I've done this before). I just love it. If you have trouble with slugs getting it, surround it with cracked egg shells.

My number 2.

Rosemary. It smells like heaven to me. I could just rub it all over myself and be happy. I love to cook with it and the dried just doesn't compare for me. I grow it in a pot so I can bring it in in the winter since it usually dies in a deciduous area if left outside.

After that I fall apart and have trouble choosing, but here's a decent list that I've kind of sort of ordered according to preference.

Chives. Perfect garnish or stir fry or potato anything. I haven't had success with seeds so I recommend a start. They come back year after year. They taste amazing. They have pretty flowers. Perennial.

Dill. Easiest herb to grow if you're looking for that. Great with fish, soup, salad, summer vegetables. Annual, but reseeds itself like a beast.

Parsley. Pretty as a garnish. Tasty as an herb. Biennial (grows the first year, then grows and goes to seed in the spring of the second year).

Sage. Thanksgiving will never be the same for me without fresh sage. It's very pretty, there are tons of varieties. And it tastes much much better than its dried counterpart. Lots of beautiful varieties to choose from. Perennial.

Thyme. Ditto the Thanksgiving thing. It's not so pretty (well, some varieties are, but the main kind I grow is just kind of gangly), but it sure tastes good with chicken, soup, and a lot of other foods. It's easy to dry because the leaves are small, so you can save some over the winter. There are many many varieties. You can get it tiny and creeping or bigger and flowering. Perennial.

Cilantro. I love this herb so much fresh that it's embarrassing, but I'm not always successful at growing it from seed (alas). That said, it's really easy to grow from seed for most people, so don't ask me what my problem is. Annual, but often reseeds.

Stevia. Must be grown from a start. I use this in smoothies instead of sugar during the summer and love it for this purpose. Also, when I am pregnant and chew the leaves, the taste it leaves in my mouth is awesome when everything else I eat when pregnant leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I don't know why this is but because of it stevia holds a special place in my heart. Annual.

French Tarragon. I think tarragon can be pretty good dried, but it's even better fresh. Perennial.

There are others that I love for different, non-food reasons.

Scent and attract bees/butterflies:

Lavender (scent and attracts bees/butterflies). If you live in a deciduous area, be sure to get a hardy variety; others will die overwinter.
Bee Balm (beautiful blooms and attracts bees and butterflies)
Cone flower (i.e. echinacea) (pretty, attracts bees/butterflies and bugs)
Lemon Balm (lovely scent, great border plant or one you can stick in pesky open spaces that you don't know what to do with because it grows easily anywhere, attracts bees/butterflies after flowering)

Ground cover potential or rocky border potential:

Creeping thyme is my favorite looking, but not strong enough to grow well in our wet, then dry paths.
Winter Savory (great by rocks, also tastes great in pasta sauce)
Thyme (lots of different varieties so you'll have to ask your garden people for the lower growing types. I have one called caraway thyme that is not so low as the creeping thyme, but is much hardier, spreads better, and is still reasonably low for a ground cover)
Oregano (golden is good for this. It can get tallish later in the summer. you can weedwhack it or tromple it or something, but I like it)

Teas or garnishes:

Mint (Tea, ice cream, also so lovely in cold drinks--even water--delightful). My favorite mint is chocolate mint, but I love them all. Be careful with growing mint as it is invasive so put it in a pot.
Chamomile (Tea--you use the flowers of chamomile, not the leaves)
Lemon Balm (I don't use this in tea. I think it tastes like spinach, but other people successfully use it and have it taste like lemon. Maybe I let mine get too old or something.)
Parsley (curly)

Two years ago I wrote a post about herbs with more detailed info. So read if you are an herb nerd, read on.

9 Five-Minute Meals Cheaper Than the Dollar Menu

2013-04-24T11:58:00.001-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I blogged about how irritating it is to me when people talk about how cheap fast food is. Fast food is not cheap. Fast food is fast. But homemade food can be too.

For each member of our family to order two things off of the dollar menu equals $12 (plus tax in Indiana). Below are several butt-kicking meals that can be made in 5 minutes. They each serve about 6 people (well, 6 of our people, which is 2 leanish adults and 4 youngish children, so take that for what it's worth--we're not feeding teenagers, although 2 dollar menu items isn't going to feed teenagers either). These meals are not gourmet meals and they are not necessarily entirely made from scratch or whole food ingredients (we're comparing them to fast food chains, people, so come on), though most can be adapted to homemade/whole food if you have 15-20 more minutes. Also, some require no or very little cooking time, but others are crock pot meals, which means you have to think of them in the morning (yeah, I don't always manage that either), but they still only take five minutes of your day to prepare.

1. Shrimp (pre-cooked, yes) with cocktail sauce, bagged Caesar salad, and garlic bread.
Thaw the shrimp, toss the bagged salad, add butter and garlic to the bread and broil for a few minutes.
Cost: $11.50
shrimp: 7.00/lb, cocktail: 1.50, bagged salad (which includes dressing): 2.00, bread: 1.00

2. Sub sandwiches with fruit.
Put out the toppings, cut the fruit.
Cost: $9.50
deli meat: 4.00, buns: 1.50, pickles: .50, cheese: .75, toppings (tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, mustard): .75, apples: 1.00, oranges: .50, pears: .50

3. Scrambled eggs and toast
Scramble your eggs with veggies like broccoli, spinach, or canned tomatoes (drained) and maybe some cheese if you'd like. Make toast. Eat.
Cost: $3.50
6 eggs: .60, can tomatoes: 1.00, cup spinach: .40, cheese: .50, half a loaf of bread: 1.00

4. Dorito Salad
Kip loves this stuff and he is not a huge salad guy. Even my kids will eat it if they get plenty of Doritos to buy them off. Chop lettuce, olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, and cheddar cheese. Add a can of chicken (drained). Toss. Add crumbled Doritos and serve with Ranch dressing.
Cost: $8.00
head romaine: .75, can olives: 1.00, cucumber: .50, tomatoes: .50, cheese: .75, canned chicken: 2.00, half bag of Doritoes: 1.50, dressing: 1.00

5. Crock Pot Ranch Chili.
Toss it all in the crock pot and turn the crock on.
Cost: $5.50 for 6-8 servings
chicken: 1.50, tomatoes: 1.00, beans: .50, corn: .50, ranch powder: .50-1.00, cream cheese: 1.00

6. Ranch Roast with potatoes and carrots.
Toss it all in the crock, cover it in Ranch powder, turn the crock on.
Cost: $11.00
roast: $8.00, potatoes: .50, carrots: .50, ranch powder:1.00-2.00

7. Crock Pot Italian Chicken with Instant Rice.
Toss in crock and turn it on. Make the rice when it's ready. With a few extra minutes, this can be whole-fooded.
Cost: $7.00
chicken: 4.00, cream cheese: 1.00, soup: 1.00, seasoning: .75, rice: (truth be told I have no idea on the instant, so I'm putting a normal rice price): .25

8. Crock Pot Rosemary Chicken
Throw a frozen bird in the crock with seasonings and turn the crock on.
Cost: $7.50
chicken: 6.00, seasonings: .50, potatoes: .50, carrots: .50

9. ...And then there's always angel hair. I know I mention it too much, but it's one of our super quick stand-bys.
Cost: $3.00
pasta: 1.00, sauce: 2.00

Pizza Roll

2013-04-22T11:22:00.001-07:00

We eat homemade pizza about once every week or two. It's the only food I can think of that we eat so frequently, so even though we have our favorites, I like to switch things up a bit here and there.

Recently we tried a pizza roll (otherwise referred to as stromboli). You take an uncooked pizza. And roll it up. (And then you cook it of course.) I know; I know; you're still trying to wrap your brain around that earth shattering declaration, right? And I'm willing to bet that there are more than a few of you asking, "But why?" The biggest reason is because you were bored and this seemed fun. But there are a couple of practical reasons for making a pizza roll instead of a standard pizza.

1. You can make this with a homemade dough (as I did because I'm an overachiever and stuff and also because I have a breadmaker, which makes this a 2 minute task). But you don't have to. You can use frozen bread dough. You can use refrigerated biscuit or croissant dough. What I'm trying to say is that you can totally cheat. You can open up a can or two of croissant dough, flatten it a bit, slather some toppings on, roll it up, cook, and badabing, you've got dinner ready in 20 minutes. (See if your Dominoes guy can make it to your house that quick, eh?) But you don't have to cheat if you don't want to. This isn't a recipe that has to be made with refrigerated whatever or it will never be the same.

2. I don't know why, but when something is rolled up like this, I don't feel bad giving it to my kids/husband cold in their lunches. It feels more like a pepperoni roll or something that just a sad little slice of cold pizza their neglectful mother packed up for them. What I'm trying to say is that warm this is a meal, but cold it becomes a snack food or a travel food. I like that about it. You can just eat the cool version like a sandwich in your hand.

3. You can dip these in marinara. What is it about dipping things that is so fun (especially for children)? I don't know, but the phenomena exists and I just roll with it. These are dip-able and my people like that.

Pepperoni Roll
adapted from What About Pie?
Makes 1 large pizza
Cost: $4.50
mozzarella: 3.00, dough: .50, pepperoni: 1.00

Step 1:
Make your favorite dough. Or pull it out of the freezer. Or bust open that can of refrigerated dough. Whatever. Just procure some dough, okay.

Step 2:
Flatten your dough into a rectangle, just like you're making cinnamon rolls.

Step 3: (this one can be skipped)
Add a very thin layer of pizza sauce. Too much sauce and it will ooze and sog. But just a thin layer will work. I did this, wanting to be sure that my kids ate at least a tiny bit of the fruit/veggie food group. However, you can totally skip the sauce if you want and just head straight for the cheese. Then after they're cooked you can dip in sauce if you like.

Step 4:
Add toppings. We did pepperoni and kept it simple at that.

Step 5:
Add cheese. We used mozzarella, but you can go all gourmet if you want.

Step 6:
Roll it. You're going to roll it so that it comes out long instead of short. Maybe you cheated your way through physics, but I know you can still do this, even though I did forget to take a picture. Seal the seam. Use a little water if you need to to get it to stick.

Step 7:
Put it on a lightly greased pan with the sealed seam down.

Step 8:
Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes or until the top of the dough is browned. This cooking time may vary depending on the type of dough you use, so keep your eye on it.

Step 9:
Let it cool for a few minutes. Then cut it with a nice sharp knife. If you try to cut it while hot with a dull knife, your cheese and stuff will just squish out the ends. So use a sharp knife and a gentle hand.

Step 10:
Eat. Dipping if desired.

Wacky Cake--photo update

2013-04-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

Wacky cake is my most popular post on this blog ever. And for good reason. It's moist, delicious, chocolatey goodness. That you make in the pan. That's right--it is even better than a one bowl recipe. Also, it's intensely cheap (it came about during the depression where eggs, milk, and butter were harder to come by). And it takes just about the same amount of time to assemble as a boxed cake mix and is almost impossible to mess up.

People, it's just good (unless we're talking about health food, in which case it's bad).

But thus far, my pictures of it have just been so so (if that). Today I present a few pic's that are slightly better, although still imperfect. I've realized that the problem with wacky cake, pictures, and me is that people descend upon it like animals upon their prey and, just as in that lovely metaphor, there's often not a lot of pretty left to take advantage of when they're done. But that's okay--you should pin this anyway; you won't regret it.

And just for kicks, here's the previous picture I had of it:

Big Green Triple Chocolate Smoothie

2013-04-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

The title--well, it kind of says it all. I think there are a few things in life you really can't go wrong with. Chocolate is one. Spinach is another. So when I got Fit Mama Real Food for my Secret Recipe Club blog this month, I didn't have trouble picking the recipe I wanted to make. So I made it. And made it. And made it. Uh-huh. It's delicious. And chocolate-y. And green. But not green like that plop of icky green cooked-from-a-frozen-block spinach that my mom used to plop on my plate when I was a kid. Oh no. Green like all that vitality being pumped into your body under a chocolate-y disguise. By which I mean that even though you can see the spinach, it does not have a strong taste in this smoothie (and there is a whole lot of it there, so that's saying something). I can't really taste it at all, but perhaps if you were highly attuned to the taste of all things green you would taste it just a bit.

This smoothie is especially nice as temperatures rise. When it gets hot, I find myself craving ice cream all the time. And there's nothing wrong with a little ice cream here and there. But 3 times a day might be pushing it. Drinks like this make me feel like I just ate a cold dessert even when I really just ate several cups of raw spinach, a banana, some dark chocolate, and milk.

This is extra easy to make, but here are a few tips for achieving smoothie perfection:

1. If you've got a lame blender like me, you're going to want to melt the chocolate into just a bit of the milk before you make this. Otherwise, you'll end up with a banana spinach smoothie that contains chunks of chocolate that get stuck in your straw. That hardly ranks on the world problems list (and you better believe I drank that first smoothie and enjoyed it), but I did like it better with the chocolate incorporated more. If you have time, melt the chocolate, and let it cool a bit, but even if you are in a hurry and throw it in warm, your smoothie will still turn out cold (just not quite as cold).

2. I've always got frozen bananas on hand because when my bananas get too spotty, I throw them in a bag in the freezer. All smoothie lovers (or banana bread lovers) should do this. However, if you forgot to freeze your bananas, cut them thin and put them in a single layer on a plate. Twenty minutes later they should be pretty frozen.

3. I used regular milk for this, but am pretty confident it would work with many different types of milk if you wanted to vegan it. Tomorrow I plan to use a couple tablespoons of coconut milk in it just because I love the stuff and have some sitting around.

4. If you've only got, say, regular chocolate chips lying around, you could still use them. Just omit the maple syrup and use about 3 Tbps chocolate chips in place of the dark chocolate and unsweetened chocolate.

Big Green Triple Chocolate Smoothie
adapted from Fit Mama Real Food
Serves 2--makes 3-4 C
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cost: $1.50
banana: .15, spinach: .80, chocolate: .25, milk: .20, maple syrup: .10

1 banana, frozen in chunks
3-4 C spinach (I'm usually pretty generous with the spinach)
1 Tbsp dark chocolate (I used Ghiradelli 60% chips)
1 Tbsp cocoa
1/2 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 1/2 C milk
1 Tbsp maple syrup (I used the pure stuff)

Melt dark chocolate, cocoa, and unsweetened chocolate into 2 Tbsp of the milk. I do this in the microwave at 15-20 second intervals. Once melted or mostly melted, remove it and allow it to cool for a couple minutes.

While it cools, put the banana, spinach, and milk into your blender. Blend it. Then add the melted chocolate/milk combo and blend until it's smooth and brownish green (it is a surprisingly non-repulsive shade of brownish green, but brownish-green nevertheless).

At this point, you might want to taste your smoothie to see if you want the maple syrup. If you do, go for it.

Then drink it up my friends. It's surprisingly filling.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Homemade versus the Dollar Menu

2013-04-11T20:21:00.002-07:00

First. Let me be clear. I am not opposed to eating out sometimes. I am not opposed to the dollar menu. I am not opposed to being tired and wanting a break from cooking or cleaning up. I'm not even opposed to being completely unprepared for dinner some nights and being completely starved at dinner time and just going out.

What I am opposed to is the idea that eating out is cheaper than eating in. It's not. It makes me crazy crazy obscenely crazy to hear and/or read articles/people talk about how cheap fast food is. It is not cheap. It is easy. It is fast (sometimes). It is a source of pleasure for some. It is tasty for some. It is convenient for many. But it is not cheap. Also, the people who work there always look at me like they would personally be much happier if I were dead and I don't care for that much, but that's beside the point.

We're not even going to talk about the combo meals because when I see a $6-8 (per person) "meal" with a sandwich, fries and soda, I see what could have been a small roast in the crock pot with some ranch powder, potatoes and carrots. People, it's not even any more work than standing in line while your kids whine and the hollow-eyed workers give you death stares. So, no, we're not going to talk about combo meals.

We're going to talk about the dollar menu. If each member of my family orders two items from the dollar menu, we pay $12 plus tax. This is not, by any means, terrible. But it is also not particularly cheap (especially if you consider that little roast up above that could be a big roast for $10). Also, two items is filling enough for the me and the kids, but not really for Kip.

Again, let me reiterate that this isn't about taste or convenience or funness. It's about cost (though I personally believe homemade meals kick butt in the taste department too; they just don't always taste the same as beloved fast food staples). If you love Rally's fries (because I know I do--oh, yes, I do), then so be it. I just don't want to hear that they're any cheaper than my home fries, which are about 25 cents a serving.

Homemade Hamburgers and Fries to serve 6

1.5 lb hamburger: $6.00 (not a sale price there either)
buns: 1.50
condiments: .50
Potatoes for fries: 1.50

Total: $9.50

I realize that you have to make this food, then clean it up. I get that. But you're looking at much higher quality food too. $4/pound is how much our humanely raised (though not grass fed) beef costs. And the home fries are a whole food made with just potatoes and oil and salt. Also you can go nuts with the condiments if you want (my family always does). Also, there are no plastic chairs. Or scary employees (that is, unless you've had a very bad day and are giving the kids some good death stares of your own).

Next we'll compare some good old fashioned subway style sandwiches and fruit to the old dollar menu. This is not an apples to apples comparison because this is obviously not a burger type meal, but it is one that takes virtually no effort, so in that way I thought it a good comparison as well. You just put the stuff on the table and people make the sandwiches they want. You can have this meal on the table in less time you wait in line at McDonald's for lunch. We had it for dinner the other night and it was so good and satisfying and filling and EASY that it's what got me thinking about the whole dollar menu thing.

6-inch subs with fruit for 6

Meat (deli chicken): 4.00
buns: 1.50
pickles: .50
cheese: .75
toppings (tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, ketchup, mustard): .75
apple: .50
orange: .25
pear: .25

Total: 8.50

Again this isn't even the cheapest of the cheap. These were delicious, fully loaded sandwiches. And everyone got 1/2 serving of fruit (which could have been doubled with another dollar). As an aside, my kids couldn't eat a full sandwich so we had leftovers the next day.

So go ahead and eat out. Have fun with it for Pete's sake. Or do it when you're out and haven't prepared anything and people in your car are melting down like a square of American cheese on a cheeseburger. This isn't about fast food guilt. But please please please spare me those droning arguments about how cheap fast food is and that that's why people have to eat it and that there's no possible way they could ever eat anything else more filling or more healthy. Cause, yeah, you might get a hollow-eyed death stare from me.

P.S. As a follow up, I'll soon be doing a post on faster-than-fast food meals you can make and enjoy.

Coconut Lime Pull Apart Bread

2013-04-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

I am a terrible shameless fan of pull apart bread with all its buttery white floured goodness. I've made cinnamon/sugar, chocolate chip, and--my favorite--orange. This weekend, I made another winning combination: coconut lime. It was very very good. Although my son did look at the green zest between layers and ask if it all contained spinach. Ha (and, no, there is no spinach, okay).

You'll find the instructions for pull apart bread here.

To make coconut lime, sub the zest of two limes for the orange zest. Then frost it with this to-die-for coconut lime glaze. Let me give this glaze a little gush because it's awesome. It would be fabulous on bundt cakes, muffins, cupcakes, donuts, whatever. It's just really really wickedly good.

Coconut Lime Glaze

4 Tbsp coconut milk (the canned kind)
1- 1 1/2 C powdered sugar
juice from one lime
a few scrapes of zest for looks

Mix together and pour over bread while it's still warm. Note: You can add more powdered sugar and it will still be a glaze, but I really liked the pop of the limey coconut with a thinner glaze.

Really Easy Roast Chicken

2013-04-04T19:37:00.003-07:00

One of fundamental reasons that people don't cook is that they think it's difficult. Fussy. They think you have to know things to be a good cook, be part of an inner circle. The truth is that you really don't have to know a lot. You do need a decent recipe and a tiny tiny sense of confidence or adventure or homeyness, or a combination thereof. And maybe a small child to hang off of your leg, because I hear that that is kind of like a cooking talisman.

It took me many years into my cooking life to even attempt to roast a whole chicken. I mean, that was big-time--like Thanksgiving or something, right? Nope. Roasting a chicken is one of the easiest, most wonderful meals you can make.

I present this roast chicken recipe because it's the easiest I've found and it turns out a butt-kicking chicken--moist, golden-skinned, flavorful. The other great thing about roasting a chicken is that you usually get some good leftovers you can use in salads or burritos the next day. And if you're feeling adventurous, you can even attempt your own broth (it's easy; just throw it in the crock pot after dinner, cover in water, and strain out the liquid before bed. Done). But you don't have to make broth if that scares you. Just make chicken.

Basically, you will get your oven really hot, you will slather your bird in butter, salt, and pepper, and then you will cook it breast side up for an hour. That's it. It's easy.

What you need:
-A THAWED bird
-Butter
-Salt and pepper
-A pan
-An oven
-An hour and 15 minutes (you don't have to DO anything during this time, mind you, but you have to be in your house)
-An instant read thermometer (maybe not essential, but very helpful, especially for a novice cook)

What you can have:
-Herbs
-Lemon or orange (this is supposed to keep it moist)
-Garlic

Why People Fuss:
-You do have to thaw the bird. Have I mentioned this? You can buy a fresh one, but if you buy frozen, that baby has to be thawed. I do this by putting it in a bowl of water and putting that in the fridge overnight.
-Time. It does take a good hour to cook your chicken. A mere five minutes of prep, but a good hour of cooking time. If you get home from work at 7:00 and want to eat NOW, that is a problem, but otherwise, it's easy to multitask around your cooking bird. (And you can totally rock a chicken in a crock pot too, but this post is about roasting one.)
-Do I have to brine it? No. Not with this recipe anyway. There's gonna be plenty of salt and it's just a small little guy, so you'll be fine without brining.
-Will I burn down my house? It is unlikely, even with the small child leg hanging talisman.
-Why is my oven so hot for this? I'm sure I will dry it out or burn down the house. This bird is probably going to explode in my oven isn't it? No. I don't know why the high heat works, but it really really does. Do it.
-Do I have to touch a raw chicken? Yes, yes you do. I'm sorry, but unless you have a very loving spouse who will do it for you, this is part of roasting a bird. You have to get all cozy with its raw self and possibly remove the neck and some innards (don't worry; most are in a bag if they're there at all).
-What ever will I serve with it? Potatoes, people. And maybe some broccoli if you want.

Really Easy Roast Chicken
adapted from here
Serves 4
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 1 hour
Rest time: 10 minutes
Cost: $5.60
chicken: $5.00, lemon: .30, butter: .25, garlic: .05

5 to 6 pound chicken, THAWED (have I emphasized that enough?)
1 lemon, halved or pricked several times with a sharp knife
4 garlic cloves, crushed and/or sliced
3-4 Tbsp butter
salt salt salt
pepper

Place rack on second level from bottom. Heat oven to 500 degrees (450 in a convection oven per the original post for this).

Take out the neck and giblets (you don't have to cut anything off--just remove them from the cavity where your loving butcher has stuffed them because some people like them or use them in stock or gravy; you don't have to, but that's why it's there)

Stuff the cavity (that's the hollow part of the bird where you probably just took out a neck and some innards) with the lemon and garlic and maybe a tablespoon of butter. Sprinkle a very good dose of salt and pepper into the cavity (I'm thinking 1/4-1/2 tsp salt--you won't end up eating it all; most will run off, but it will help flavor the bird).

Rub the chicken with the remaining butter. Get it good. Then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Be generous with your salt. Sprinkle it over all surfaces of the bird (again, you won't end up eating all of this, but it will season the bird).

Place the chicken BREAST SIDE UP in a roasting pan (or Dutch oven or 9x13 inch pan or whatever can handle high heat; roasting pans can be intimidating, huh?). Be sure there's a nice dollop of butter on the bottom part (where the bird meets the pan) to help it not stick too bad when it's done. Put it in the oven legs first and roast 50-60 minutes. Take it out when the juices run clear or when you can stick an instant read thermometer in any part of its little birdy body and have that thermometer come out at 160 or higher. In a neurotic way I poke that thing all over the place, but if you want to be less violent, you can google how to test the temp of a bird and just poke it in one or two places.

When it's done, take it out of the pan and let it rest covered in aluminum foil for 10 minutes. Resting lets the juices distribute evenly throughout the bird.

If you want, you can take the drippings and make a gravy with them. I keep this really easy. Remove all the liquid drippings and scrape off the browned bits at the bottom of your pan because they're awesomeness. Bring this to a boil in a saucepan. Mix 1-2 Tbsp cornstarch with 2-4 Tbsp water. When the drippings/broth are boiling, add the cornstarch/water, whisking until thickened to the desired thickness. That's it.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

Corn and Kale Chowder

2013-04-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

This is a good recipe for spring. It's still been pretty chilly around here and we're practically in the southern half of the U.S. It uses kale, which is coming on (ours is just starting to look alive again). But it also uses corn. You can use frozen and I did. (I bet you can even use canned.) But if you have this during the summer, you can roast ears of corn and potentially make yourself the most butt-kicking corn chowder ever.

Corn and Kale Chowder
adapted from Good Life Eats
Makes: 8-10 servings
Prep and cook time: 40 minutes
Cost: $4.35 (or about: $.50/serving)
butter: .25, onion: .10, garlic: .05, flour: .04, milk: .26, cream: .50, chicken broth: .30, potato: .10, corn: 2.00, kale: .25, sausage: 50

Note: You can sub 2 1/2 C whole milk for the milk and cream mentioned below
Note: I used 1 1/2 C chopped kale and desperately longed for more. The recipe below reflects that longing.
Note: 1 C chicken broth will make your chowder thick and chowdery. Add more if you want it soupier. (Ours was chowdery.)
Note: If it's summer and you want to roast your corn, here's how: Heat oven to 425. Grease cobs with olive oil or butter. Place on cooking sheet (lined with parchment if you want dish duty to be easier). Cook, turning frequently for 20-30 minutes or until cobs have some brownish spots on them. Remove from oven. Cool. Take off corn. You'll need 2 1/2 C or about 5 cobs worth of corn.

3-4 Tbsp butter
1 small onion, diced small (or a decent dose of onion powder for the onion haters--start with 1/2 tsp and then add more to taste at the end)
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 C flour
2 C milk
1/2 C cream
1-2 C chicken broth (or veggie broth for a vegetarian soup)
1 large potato, peeled and diced (we used red)
2 1/2 C frozen corn, dethawed
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
dash cayenne pepper, optional
dash nutmeg, optional
3 C chopped kale
2 links sausage or a few strips bacon, cooked and crumbled (optional)

Melt butter. Add onions and cook for 5-8 minutes. Add garlic. Cook 1 minute. Add flour. Cook 1-2 minutes. Whisk in milk. Add cream and chicken broth.

Add diced potatoes and corn. Let this simmer for about 30 minutes or until the potatoes are tender. I cut my potatoes small so they cook faster and because I don't like a big ol' bite a potato in my soups.

While it simmers, cook your bacon or sausage if using. Once cooked, chop small.

Also, chop your kale and put it in a microwave-safe bowl with a bit of water (2-4 Tbsp). Cover this with plastic wrap and cook 2-3 minutes in the microwave. The kale will wilt. Drain off the water. Note: I do this because sometimes kale is bitterish. If you cook it and pour off the water, the bitter goes with that water (yes, with a few nutrients as well, but those nutrients won't get eaten if your soup turns out bitter). If you cook the kale in the soup and the kale happens to be bitter, some of that is going to come into your soup and it will not taste quite as good.

When the potatoes are tender, add kale and meat. If it's too thick for you, add more chicken broth. Then add salt, pepper, cayenne, and nutmeg. Taste and adjust seasonings (don't burn your mouth--I hate that).

PRINTABLE RECIPE

A Few Easter Things

2013-03-27T12:19:00.002-07:00

My favorites (warning: they call contain sweetness):

Hot Cross Buns: Mom always made these on Good Friday. I think she stole the idea from my father's mother.

Butter Cream Eggs: Also compliments of my mom (pictured above).

Cadbury Milk Chocolate Cookies: This we can thank Kip for. He loves those Milk chocolate Cadbury eggs.

And for anyone wanting a cookie that is sweet, but definitely on the healthier side, you can try these low sugar whole wheat peanut butter cookie nests with (again) milk chocolate Cadbury eggs.

Beets with Mustard Vinaigrette

2013-03-23T13:12:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this, but growing up, we ate 4 vegetables--potatoes, canned corn, canned beans, frozen "California" vegetables (that consist of broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots). When I was younger, my mom made brief forays into other areas--squash, spinach, peas, but was usually met by much resistance from the peanut gallery (shocker). Mom was a lover, not a fighter, so most of those vegetables we fussed about fell to the wayside.

When I got married, I'd never tasted an avocado, artichoke, asparagus, beets, cabbage, brussel sprouts, butternut squash, and a host of other vegetables. Some I'd eaten like pumpkin and zucchini, but only in dessert form.

I've come a long way since then, but when I found myself with a big fat beet leftover from my borscht, I wasn't really sure what to do with it. I remembered reading about a beet vinaigrette salad and the idea of a sassy vinegar/mustard combo perking u the sometimes too-earthy beet appealed to me.

Good thing too, because that salad rocked. The beets keep their sweetness, but lose their too-earthiness. I still don't know if it can make beet converts out of people, but it could definitely make a beet-lover out of a beet-fence sitter.

Beets with Mustard Vinaigrette
adapted from Dr. Weil
makes about 4 servings
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time (for beets): 1 hour
Sit time: 4-24 hours

1 pound beets (2-3 largish ones)
1/4 C extra virgin olive oil
3 Tbsp mustard (Dijon is good, but normal works too)
1 small onion, chopped
salt to taste

Cook your beets. You can boil them or roast them at 350-375--just flop them in whole. It will take about an hour--you should be able to pierce the beet easily with a knife.

When they're cooked, let them cool, then take the skins off. Everyone says they "slip" off, but mine didn't slip as easily as I'd thought they would. Still they came off just fine.

Cut your beets into a small dice or slivers.

Add other ingredients, mix, and let sit for 4-24 hours.

Eat. Yum.

PRINTABLE RECIPE

How to Cheapen Easter

2013-03-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

So apparently Easter is the new Christmas. I guess that's good news if you're under 18. For the rest of us (although, frankly, we've no one to blame but ourselves; or maybe that overzealous Pinterest-crazed no-good-goody-goody next door), it means more stress and more money than the holiday to celebrate the resurrection of Christ used to entail. Truly, I think my parents should have thought it was a stretch when I was a kid and Peeps and weird pink grass were seen as an essential symbol of the good Lord's rebirth. But now? Now--to walk through the aisles of Walmart--in all its pink, yellow, and green glory is to wonder if Peeps and pink grass and .99 dyed eggs mightn't be touted as full-on abuse by your kids and perhaps whispered about as pure laziness by that Pinteresty neighbor we discussed.

What's a self-respecting cheapskate to do? Especially if she doesn't want those overly-entitled children to come back and sue her when they're diagnosed with diabetes, right?

Below you'll find a few ideas that will make Easter special without making it ulcer-inducing. I must warn you, though: it requires a little bucking of trends. But you're a cheapskate, so you knew that, right?

1. Dye a bunch of eggs. This will fill up the baskets nicely while providing a non-sweet snack later on in the day/week and a bonding activity for you and your kids to do together.

2. If the above suggestion sounds like as much fun as having all your teeth pulled, dyed purple, and reset, then try this. Buy some cheap plastic eggs (no need to go for the fancy ones, though they are tempting), and put one piece of candy in each one. Full basket, not so much candy.

3. Make some of your own sweets. My mom used to make chocolates for us in molds. It's a sweet memory. And for a $2.50 bag of chocolate chips (or the even cheaper melting chocolate) you can have a several trays of molded chocolates.

4. If the above suggestion sounds like as much fun as having your child stick his new light saber up your nose and into your brain, then do this: Buy less candy. Say what? Okay, okay, hear me out. You could just do this straight up. You could just buy less candy. But some people. Some people who will remain nameless (whatever--it's totally Kip), but are members of this candy-loving family really really love Easter candy. Easter is my husband's favorite candy holiday. He loves all of that Easter candy (you know, the stuff they're now starting to market for different holidays in different colors). He loves the little milk chocolate Cadbury eggs and the big ones with the filling. He loves the Reese's eggs, which he claims taste better than normal Reese's. He loves the Robin's eggs. Everything--pretty much--except the jelly beans and Peeps. Yup. He would rather just skip out on life than miss out on those classic Eastery candies. So this year, I decided to do something radical. It won't help his health, but it should soften the blow on our budget (and, if well hidden, help the health of our children). I bought only a couple kinds of candy for Easter morning baskets instead of each and every kind that has become a "staple" for us. And I promised him I would go out on Monday and buy more of his favorites for half off. Fair enough. You can do this too.

5. Skip the toys (or skip the candy and give one toy). I mean, you didn't get toys when you were a kid, did you?

6. If the above suggestion sounds as winsome as filling your child's basket with fresh dog poo, then try this. Make sure that whatever you buy them is not junk. Yes, this is a purely radical suggestion, especially when each and every Easter aisle at your local superstore is filled to the ceiling with all sorts of Easter-themed kitsch. If you must buy them something, buy them something thoughtful or useful or both. Here's a story to illustrate: Last week, after having my daughter swear that she absolutely needed one of the little stuffed bunnies in order for her life as she knew it to be complete, I thought, "What the heck--I'll get each kid a $3 stuffed animal. They like stuffed animals." And then standing in the check-out line, I realized in that brilliant way of mine that I was now buying $12 of crap--of things I will find on my kids floor for the next several months, or--worse--things that will end up buried at the bottom of a toy box by the end of the next day. I put the toys back (except the one for this particular daughter because I am, at the end of the day, a pushover; and she swore I could give her the bunny with Easter eggs stitched to its bum to her for her August birthday). Instead, I decided to buy them each a water bottle for summer. Which is something they will actually need and which I have been meaning to buy anyway. (I also bought toothbrushes--yup, you heard me). But is still kind of fun because they're pink, purple, flowery, and cool. (Note: I'm still not sure this is the greatest ever suggestion. It does, after all, set up expectations for next year, and the idea behind being a cheapskate holiday parent is to keep the bar so exceedingly low that anything will be great. But if you want to fill the basket, and if you want to fill it with things that are not all--please oh please--candy, then this is a decent method.) As an alternative, you could do suggestion #4, only with toys--buy the Easter stuffed bunnies the day after, but I'm guessing if you get to that point, you may have already decided that you really didn't want/need them all that much anyway.

7. Keep the bar low, eh. The more you give this year, the more you'll be expected to give next year.

8. If this sounds as much fun as cleaning your shower drain with your nose, then you are clearly not a cheapskate at all (we love keeping the bar nice and low). You are probably that Pinterest-pinning neighbor and you are surely gossiping about me right now as you hot glue tiny little Easter eggs to the ornaments you plan to hang from the Easter trees in your living and dining rooms.

Chicken Divan

2013-03-18T12:00:00.002-07:00

Broccoli and cheese kinds of casseroles have gone and gotten a terrible name for themselves in the foody kingdom. In the foody kingdom people eat only lamb and arugula. Or home grown foods. Or "real" foods. Or any of a number of foods that I am truly not opposed to in any way. But sometimes when you consider what the average American is beginning to eat (hint: rhymes with dig smac or at the very best brozen finner) on a very very, almost daily basis, you remember that maybe sometimes it's okay if one of the foods in tonight's dinner didn't come from the farmer's market or have less than five ingredients in its ingredient list. Sometimes it's doing pretty good to turn out an actual dinner from your actual oven that did not come from a box (pizza, take out, or frozen dinner). Sometimes it's okay to hearken back to an earlier time when your frazzled mother/grandmother, who did not own a dishwasher and/or dryer, managed to flop some sort of fairly nutritious food onto the table every night. And sometimes it's good--wholesome even--just to run with that. Today we're running with that.

And--truth be told--we could be doing so much worse. This recipe contains 2 large heads of broccoli, cheddar, chicken, and (here's its whole food undoing) mayonnaise (which could potentially be subbed out with or cream cheese to good effect, though I haven't tried it). It can be served over rice, farro, or barley to very very good effect. It's easy to pull together (it was one of the first foods I learned to make when Kip and I were first married and I didn't cook at all), has a definite comfort food aspect to it, and did not come from a box of any sort.

You made it with love. It didn't take your whole day. It tastes really really good. And you can enjoy it hot with those you love. Do so.

P.S. Don't ask me why it's called chicken divan. It just is.

Chicken Divan
makes 1 9x13 inch pan
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 30 minutes

3-4 chicken breasts
2 large heads broccoli
2 C mayonnaise
1/2-1 C chicken broth (unsalted)
3-4 C shredded cheddar cheese (I prefer sharp, but Kip likes this best with medium)
salt and pepper to taste

Boil chicken breasts in water. Shred. (Alternately you could use some that you'd already roasted or cooked another day--you'll need a couple cups of it shredded.).

While your chicken is boiling, chop your broccoli and shred your cheese.

When chicken is done, take it out and shred it. Hold onto the water you boiled it in.

Put shredded chicken, broccoli, and half the cheese in a 9x13 inch pan. Add mayonnaise and mix it around. It will be a little thick.

Here's where you use that water you boiled the chicken in. Thicken it by boiling it and then adding a bit of cornstarch (1 Tbsp) mixed with 2 Tbsp water. Pour this into the boiling broth, stir, and let it thicken a bit. Pour some of this over your chicken/broccoli/cheese/mayo mixture. It will loosen it up and make it just a bit runnier. That's what you want--not soup, but not something super thick either. It'll look like this when all mixed in.

If you used chicken you already had or accidentally threw out your water, use a bit of low-sodium chicken broth, thicken it a bit, and throw it on.

Spread in pan. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Cook at 375-400 degrees until cheese is melted and bubbly and edges are beginning to brown (20-30 minutes).

Serve over rice, farro, or barley.

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Three Green Things

2013-03-15T12:21:00.002-07:00

My mother used to dye our milk green. It's not really my number one green recommendations. Here are a few I like a little better.

1. Grasshopper Cake. It's not traditional, but it's green and tastes amazing.

2. Chocolate Mint Brownies. Clearly I care not at all about tradition unless tradition is rich chocolaty mint.

3. Green Drink. Of course there's this for people who aren't going for colcannon, but would like to not weigh 10 extra pounds after St. Patty's Day. There's also this one with avocado or this one with kale and avocado.

Pain au Chocolat (American-style)

2013-03-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

The French like bread. The French like chocolate. I like bread. I like chocolate.

The French wrap chocolate into croissant-like bread and eat it for breakfast. I decided I could wrap a bit of Nutella into a whole wheat roll. You see, one night I was making some rolls when a jar of Nutella in our cupboard caught my eye. And I figured it was time to go a little French, so I wrapped about 1 teaspoon of that Nutella into my whole wheat rolls and we ate it for dinner. And it was blissfully good--even better than I'd expected. The blob of Nutella tended to spread out into the roll, so that when you bit in you didn't just get one really great bite, you got nearly a whole warm roll with a layer of warm chocolate spread throughout. Yeah. Did I mention it being awesome. Because it was. (You can personally note this awesomeness in the above picture--that was a little blob--see how much it spread)

To further beautify its awesomeness, it was really just a small little blob of Nutella--a tiny indulgence that went a very long way and made for something that tasted undoubtedly decadent although it was really just a little sin (as the French might say).

Pain au Chocolat (American-style)

1. Make a roll recipe you enjoy. I adore this one, which can be made white, part whole wheat or 100% whole wheat (I often do part whole wheat--about 1/2). Let rise as you normally would.

2. When you're about to wrap the dough into rolls, plop 1 tsp of Nutella into the center and roll the rolls around it.

See how it's just a tiny blob.

Then wrap the dough around it and put this folded side down in the pan, so they look smooth(ish) like in the picture below.

3. Let rise.

4. Bake at 375 for 10-15 minutes.

5. Eat. These are amazing warm. I bet they are cold as well, but I can't tell you because we ate all of ours before they hit that point.

Blueberry Apple Almond Whole Grain Muffins

2013-03-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

This month for Secret Recipe Club, I had Bizzy Bakes. Up in the upper left corner, Bizzy has a whole section donated to muffins. I always figure if someone's got a specialty, you should got with that. So I did.

These were great. They had nuts, fruit, and whole grains. I subbed out the brown rice flour because I didn't have it. I subbed part whole wheat, part all-purpose, and a bit of barley flour I had lying around. You could do all white or all wheat if you wish. These also have oatmeal. Which just made them really really well rounded. Bizzy made these with blueberries, but mentioned in the post that they had originally had apples. I thought I'd use apples and blueberries. I did not regret it. Next time I make them, I think I'll even throw in a half cup of shredded zucchini. Yes I will.

It also called for cardamom, which I love and forgot and was sad about. But if you don't love it, know that these are still good without it.

Blueberry Apple Almond Whole Grain Muffins
adapted from Bizzy Bakes
makes about 18 large muffins
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 15-20 minutes
Cost: $3.50 or about $.20/muffin
milk: .10, eggs: .20, sugar: .15, oil: .10, blueberries: 1.00, apple: .50, whole wheat flour: .30, flour: .10, barley flour: .30, almonds: .75

Note: Muffins with whole wheat risk being dry. Buttermilk will help them to be a little moister, and as I said in the above comments, I'd throw in 1/2 C shredded zucchini, which would also keep these from risking dryness.

2/3 C milk or buttermilk
2 eggs
2/3 C canola oil
1 C sugar
1 c old fashioned oats
1/2 C barley flour
1 1/2 C whole wheat flour
1 C all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 scant Tbsp cardamom, optional
1 C blueberries
1 apple, peeled and chopped
1/2 C almonds, chopped

Preheat oven to 375. Prepare pans. Chop apples and almonds.

Combine milk, eggs, oil and sugar.

Combine oats, flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cardamom in another bowl.

Add dry ingredients to wet ones. Then add fruits and almonds. Mix until just combined. Bake for about 20 minutes or until a fork comes out with a few moist crumbs. If you're going to err, underbake rather than overbake. An overbaked healthy muffin is a very dry muffin.

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Chocolate Oat Breakfast Cookies

2013-03-09T12:39:00.001-08:00

It's time for some picture updates. The great thing about picture updates is that they only happen on foods we really love and make regularly. These still aren't the most gorgeous cookies in the world and they never will be. But they taste amazing, and now they are blessed with a picture that at least doesn't look quite so much like deer droppings, eh?

Click here for the link to the breakfast cookie that is the majority favorite in our family.

And, just for giggles, have a look here for the original picture.

Borscht

2013-03-06T11:56:00.001-08:00

Q: What the heck is borscht anyway?
A: Borscht is a delightful dish in which several unloved vegetables get together and create a wonderful thing.

Q: What are these unloved vegetables of which you speak?
A: Beets and cabbage most notably, though there are others.

Q: Ew. Don't those grow from, like, the ground. Why the heck should I eat it?
A: It tastes very good--much better than you would ever expect. It is good for you. It contains seasonal vegetables. It is cheap. It is red and red is my favorite color. Also the last 4 letters sound distinctly Russian and, thus, slightly vulgar. Perhaps you will enjoy saying them slowly in front of your mother. Oh--and you add a dollop of sour cream and some dill which makes this kick butt.

Q: Hmmm. This is a great word to say. And the sour cream sounds promising, but are you sure it tastes good because it looks kind of different. I have not recently seen borscht among the Campbell's soup lineup and therefore have trouble trusting your sketchy "red" recommendations even if you have instructed me to add a full-fat dairy product to the top of it.
A: It contains tomato paste so I'm sure Campbell's would approve (note: that's a lie; Campbell's would not approve).

Q: Is this soup only good if you drink vodka.
A: This soup is delicious even if you are a crazy Mormon housewife.

Borscht
adapted from Apron Strings
makes 8 servings
prep time: 10-20 minutes, give or take depending on your chopping and multi-tasking skills--You can chop some things as others cook, which lessens the overall time.
Cook time: 1-2 hours
Cost: $3.90
onion: .15, celery: .10, carrot: .10, pepper: .60, cabbage: .50, beets: .50, tomato paste: .50, broth (I made mine from Better than Bouillon): .30, apple: .50, potato: .10, lemon: .30, other stuff: .25

Note: I know there are a lot of ingredients in this. If you are like me, you are bound to forget one (or several) when you go to the store. The good news is that this is pretty forgiving as far as leaving things out that you don't have (just don't forget the beets, okay; it kind of needs those). I've made it as is, but the last time I made it I didn't have celery or a pepper or much more than an apple core (curse myself for eating the last apple right before making this). It was still delicious.

2 Tbsp olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 stalk celery, diced
1 carrot, shredded or chopped small
1 pepper, diced (I prefer red)
2-3 C cabbage, chopped (this is half a small cabbage)
2 medium beets, shredded or chopped small
5 cloves garlic, minced
6 oz tomato paste (I think that's the size of a can)
8 C vegetable or chicken broth
1 apple, diced
1 potato, diced (I used red and recommend a waxy variety)
1 bay leaf
1 Tbsp smoked paprika
1 tsp salt (or to taste)
pepper to taste
juice of a lemon (fresh is best, but 2-3 Tbsp of non-fresh will do)
sour cream, for garnish
dill, for garnish

Heat oil in a large pot (I used a Dutch oven). Saute onion, celery, carrot, and green pepper for about 5 minutes. Add cabbage and beets and cook, stirring occasionally, for another 10 minutes. Add tomato past and garlic, stir. Then add broth, apple, potato, and bay leaf. Bring to boil. Reduce to simmer. Cover and cook for 20 minutes.

Then add the smoked paprika (yes, smoked is better than normal, but use what you've got, though really buy some smoked--it's incredible), lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Cover again and cook over low heat for another 30-90 minutes (yes, that is a wide range--this will be done with tender veggies after 30 more minutes, but it will taste better if you give it a little longer).

Top with sour cream. I mean, really, don't skip this--you can I guess, but it is just not as good. The sour cream mixed in makes it just fabulous. And then add dill. Also fabulous. If your lemon has another squeeze in it, give the soup that too. And eat.

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Quick Naan

2013-03-04T11:39:00.001-08:00

I have one recipe for naan on this site. I considered it all I would ever need because I love love love it. And then Friday as I fought to get dinner on the table while teaching my youngest daughter a piano lesson and getting ready for our Friday night singing night with some friends, I suddenly realized the error in my ways. My other naan recipe is completely delicious, but it uses yeast and requires rising time (which equals a certain level of forethought I am not always capable of--cue that crammed in Friday evening piano lesson).

This recipe is almost equally delicious, but uses baking powder and requires only a bit of a "rest" for your bread (which you could probably shorten or even entirely skip if you wanted to). It uses yogurt which gives it a lovely soft finished texture (and makes you feel healthier, though I'm never really sure if cooked yogurt actually is much healthier). And--to be honest--it is easier for bread novices than a traditional yeasty bread. It is not quite as good the next day (you just can't beat yeast for next day goodness), but it was still good enough to make me drool when I thought about eating up those leftovers. So there you go. Now you can have your belated piano lesson and eat your naan too. Or, um, something like that.

Quick Naan
adapted from The Good Loaf
makes 12-15 6-7-inch naan
Prep time: 5 minutes
Rest time: 30 minutes (can probably be shortened)
Cook time: 20-30 minutes
Cost: $1.00
whole wheat flour: .20, flour: .30, yogurt .50

1 C whole wheat flour
3 C white flour
1/4 C sugar
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 C plain yogurt (I used full-fat)
3/4-1 1/4 C water

Combine flours, sugar, baking powder.

Add yogurt and 1/2 C water. Mix. Add more water as necessary to get your dough to come together into a nice ball of dough. It will feel dense and just a tiny bit tacky, but it won't stick to your fingers at all.

Let it sit for 30 minutes.

Roll it into 2-inch balls. Heat skillet (I used cast iron skillet) while you roll the dough balls as flat as possible with rolling pin. Add a little oil to skillet. Cook one at a time on medium heat. When one side is golden browned, flip. Cook briefly on other side; it will probably bubble puff in a few areas and should only need 30-90 seconds.

Remove to plate and continue the process.

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