The Taupes' International Adoption Adventure

Video of Natalie's first year home

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 15:23:00 +0000

Here's a six minute video of Natalie's first year home with us. How she's changed!

The day we met Natalie

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 15:39:00 +0000

A year ago today we met Natalie. She hated us. Here's our favorite video of her reaction. At the time we were so stressed out. Now, we look back at these videos and laugh. Note Sister Marta's terrible timing...

A Walk to Beautiful

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 15:26:00 +0000

The Fistula Hospital lies just down the road from where we stayed in Addis Ababa. The hospital helps women who've developed incontinence problems after prolonged labors (which is very common in the rural areas where there are few doctors). Their work transforms lives.

The video follows the heartwrenching stories of three young women. It's an amazing piece. I don't know how good the Utube quality is. If you have Netflix it's available to watch instantly.

One Day, Two Adoptions--Whew!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:32:00 +0000

We had a big day at the Taupes. Two adoptions in the family! (kind of).

We "re-validated" Natalie's adoption which means she's now officially a U.S. citizen (we've been her legal parents since Dec. 29, 2009 but Natalie was just a "permanent resident" of the U.S.)

Now, with the "re-validation" she'll get a new birth certificate plus she'll get a Certificate of Citizenship (if we hadn't re-validated the adoption and Natalie committed some crime as an adult she could have been deported because she wasn't a citizen. Now she can't). Natalie's been practicing saying "I'm American" all day. :-)

Even bigger news: Pat legally adopted Wes today! For those of you who don't know our story, Wes' first dad died when Wes was a baby. Since Wes was eight years old he's thought of Pat as his dad. Now, it's legal. Wes will get a new birth certificate, too.

Congrats to Pat and our two kiddos!

Oh....the Christmas Disco

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 15:23:00 +0000

Havin' a bit of fun for Christmas with the Krazy Kidz Krew. Nothing is more fun than Disco!!
Enjoy!

I'm only one

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 00:32:00 +0000

I'm only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
-Edward Everett Hale

Security is mostly a superstition

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 18:46:00 +0000

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
------Helen Keller

Here is the test

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 21:50:00 +0000

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
-----Richard Bach

It's not all sibling rivalry...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 16:45:00 +0000

Eighty percent of the time Everett and Natalie are tormenting each other. The other twenty percent, though, is pretty darn cute....

Everett, the master hair stylist.

His "bow" creation.

Swords, a "Jason" mask, and a skirt. With two older brothers the girl in Natalie doesn't stand a chance.

Being goofy. Notice Natalie's one leg warmer and Everett's crocs. Already, she's got quite the sense of style! And I'm now noticing how often the camera catches Everett running around in nothing but underwear. Hmm.

Aww, big hug. Maybe. Or is that a "you're going down" expression on Everett's face?

Powerpuff girl

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:39:00 +0000

Natalie's hair has gotten long enough for puffs!

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 20:50:00 +0000

Happy Birthday Natalie!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 19:48:00 +0000

Natalie turned two on September 13th. It was her first birthday with us. It was a day of mixed emotions for me. I wondered what her first birthday was like. Did her birth family mark the day in any way? Did they know, then, that this would be her last birthday with them? That they would be relinquishing her to the orphanage in a matter of weeks?

I have no birth story to share with Natalie. That bothered me more than I expected. I wanted to ask her birth mom about her birth, but emotions were running too high and our time together was too short. I have no photos of Natalie when she was a baby. I have no idea what the first year of her life was like.

I wonder how her birth family felt this year on her birthday. We plan to send photos of Natalie's first six months with us. I hope they're a comfort to them. I hope they can see how happy she is. And that she is so so loved.

Okay, enough depressing stuff. This is a birthday after all. It's time to PARTY!

Natalie hasn't had much experience with American birthdays. But when the cake and presents came out, it didn't take her long to catch on!

She ripped the wrapping paper one careful strip at a time. She drove her five-year-old brother crazy!

When Wes was two he was infatuated with the number 8 (he carried around magnets, foam numbers, birthday candles--all shaped like 8). Everett at two loved the color yellow. Natalie is obsessed with HORSES. We had a "My Little Pony" cake. Here she is sharing her cake with her horse.

Grammy and Papa sent Natalie a play kitchen.

Everett delivered a "pizza" to Grandma Joan.

Natalie delivered the kitchen sink. Already she has her daddy's sense of humor. :-)

Happy Birthday, sweet two-year-old!

I'm a duck!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 16:58:00 +0000

Natalie started preschool today!

She's in the "Duck" class. She'll go Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:30 a.m--2:30 p.m. She's been asking about "Naa--ee's schoo" (Natalie's school) since Everett and Wes went back to class.

If I give you my sunglasses will you smile for the camera?

In front of the preschool and starting to get a little nervous. Natalie was so excited about her "horsey" lunch box and her backpack.

Waiting to check in and showing a few more nerves.

Hey, it's my friend Helina! What shoes did you pick for your first day of school?

I'd say she's looking pretty comfortable with those magnifying glasses. When I left her she whined a little but I stood outside the classroom and she never broke into full-scale crying. It's 11:01 now and still no call from the school for me to pick up my inconsolable child. Yay!

P.S. I'm home all by myself with only the animals for company. I've been dancing around my empty house since I got home! :-)

And when she was bad...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:04:00 +0000

Ahhh, the terrible twos. How I have NOT missed this stage. Natalie is gifted, apparently, because she's been acting two for a month and her birthday isn't for two weeks.

Natalie's motto at almost two is, "Hey, let's see what reaction I get if I --"

-run right into the street

-run away from mommy in the store, at soccer practice, and whatever location seems most inappropriate

-say the same word over and over for twenty minutes straight: "black horse, black horse, black horse--"

-beg for candy twenty-four hours a day: "ca-ee, ca-ee, ca-ee"

-pretend not to understand "inside voice" and always talk as LOUD AS I CAN

-scream in the car because I know it annoys mommy and she can't do anything about it

-call mommy's bluff and refuse to join her even when she says, "Okay, bye Natalie. See you later."

-spit at people when they make me mad

-squash the cats

-watch how the floor floods when I play with the fridge's water dispenser

-refuse to stop talking while mommy's on the phone

-refuse to stop talking while ANYONE is trying to have a conversation that isn't about me

It's a phase. It's a phase. It's a phase. This is my mantra that keeps me going. I feel better now. Thanks for allowing me to vent.

A little "sibling" rivalry

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 20:07:00 +0000

NATALIE AND DORA

It's a love hate kinda thing

"No fair, she has a ball and I don't!"

"My highchair."

"No, my high chair!"

"Hey, I want that lap!"

"That's better."

"I did not agree to share!"

"Mwah ha ha---this lap is mine!"

Awww, look at the love...

Home for almost four months

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 19:27:00 +0000

The longer I go without blogging the more I have to catch everyone up on. Which makes the idea of blogging overwhelming. Which means I don't blog. So, instead of trying to fit EVERYTHING in, here's a short snapshot of how Natalie's adjusting after almost four months home:

GREAT!
What adoption related issues are we facing? Doesn't seem like a whole lot of them, honestly. She is really attached to us, developmentally she seems right on target, and she's growing like a weed (we haven't weighed her lately but she's wearing 18-24 month clothes now--she wore a 9 month size when she came home, and has jumped up two sizes in shoes --from a 4 to a 6).

One thing that does seem adoption-related: when we go to a new place and we introduce her to new people she sometimes is frightened and clingy at first and I can't help but thinking that she's wondering, "Is this when they're going to give me away?" Breaks my heart.

Also, nap-time can be a nightmare. If she falls asleep in the car on in the stroller, no problem, but when I try and put her down for a nap in her room--major tantrum. She doesn't take a bottle or a pacifier so I try walking her or rocking her. She still screams bloody murder. Yet at night once it's dark she goes to sleep no problem. Makes me think nap time was traumatic for some reason at the orphanage (perhaps because they insisted on 3 hour naps).

Otherwise, she seems like a typical toddler to me, which means:

-she's the cutest thing you'll ever meet,
-she has non-stop energy from morning until night,
-she wants your non-stop attention from morning until night,
-"no" is her favorite word (both when she says it and when mommy says it because then she can play the "let's disobey mommy" game),
-she will unscrew the lid off everything she can get her hands on and then squeeze, dump, or pour out whatever was inside,
-she thinks that when mommy shows her an outfit and says, "Let's get dressed," that means, "Run away from mommy and squeal with delight when she chases you,"
-she thinks "being gentle" with the cats means immobilizing them with all your body weight,
-eating is an art project which involves smearing food all over your face and the high chair, painting your hair, and knocking over every container that doesn't have a lid.

Grammy and Papa visited us on their way to Europe and then on the way back. Natalie loves them. She says "Papa" clear as a bell. "Grammy" sounds a little like "Mommy."

"I love my brother---sometimes."

"I love my friend Mia--sometimes almost to death."

When Auntie Sher visited Natalie was a little hesitant at first. Did she wonder, "Is this a new mommy who's going to steal me away?" She couldn't resist Auntie Sher for long, though. Notice Dora the cat trying to sneak onto Sherry's lap. Talk about "sibling" rivalry!

One more just because she's so cute. Here she's really feeling the music--and dancing with her tongue out.

I said this was going to be short, didn't I? No wonder I only blog once a month.

A very special reunion

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 May 2010 15:06:00 +0000

In the Fall of 2009, two little girls met at a small orphanage in southern Ethiopia. Unbeknownst to them, they were quickly matched with two couples from Colorado, a flurry of paperwork was filed on their behalf, and court hearings were held that gave them new parents.

The two little girls, Enatalem and Sara, were moved from southern Ethiopia to the Holt care center in Addis Ababa.

Here's a picture of them eating at the orphanage in February. Enatalem is with her new daddy. Sara is the smiley one in red.
.

Fast forward to May 2010. Two little girls are reunited in Highlands Ranch Colorado, half a world away from where they met. They didn't seem to recognize each other but they had fun playing and eating popcorn together (no, we didn't serve them coffee). Someday they'll understand the bond they share. For now, their new parents will marvel at the serendipity that brought Sara and Enatalem together in Ethiopia--and settled them both in Colorado.

The missing continent

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 21:06:00 +0000

Everett's preschool had its annual spring concert today. The theme was, "Traveling Around the World." Everett's class sang songs from Australia, four classes represented European countries (France, Germany, England, and the Netherlands). Several classes sang songs in Spanish to represent Latin America. One class "traveled' to Japan.

I'll give you one guess what continent they skipped (Africa is the second largest continent on the planet, by the way).

Here's the really sad part: one year ago the school put on a similar performance. I'm sure they made the same omission. And I didn't even notice.

Wow, can these kids giggle!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:46:00 +0000

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Everybody loves Grandma Joan!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:07:00 +0000

Grandma Joan visited last week and Natalie accepted her like they'd been grandma/granddaughter their entire lives. I don't know if Natalie remembered Grandma from Ethiopia, if she just followed Everett and Wesley's lead, or if there's just something special about Grandma Joan (probably it's that), but it was amazing to watch the two of them connect and form that special grandparent/grandchild bond so quickly.

The only problem: now that Grandma Joan has gone home Natalie points at Grandma's picture every day and says "Maa-maw?" and how do you explain to an 18 month old who keeps losing the people she loves that Grandma just flew away on an airplane for awhile and will be back?

So, we call Grandma Joan on the phone as often as we can and who knows if Natalie gets that the voice coming from the plastic box is Grandma Joan but she sure likes holding the receiver to her ear and babbling about the kitties ("ga-ga's") and the doggie ("arf"). Come back soon, Grandma Joan!

Home for a month already...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 21:53:00 +0000

I can't believe we've been home with Natalie for a month. Time flies when you're chasing around a toddler. Here's a Natalie update:

-Natalie gained almost a pound in the two-and-a-half weeks between her doctor visits! She weighs almost twenty pounds, now. She seems to have slowed down on her eating somewhat, but she always likes to have a bag of crackers in her hands --you know, just in case hunger strikes.
-The doctor did a full battery of blood tests including HIV even though Natalie had already had a lot of them before and they all came back negative. Woo hoo! She doesn't even have giardia or parasites which is kind of unusual but wonderful (our social worker said we're only one of two families she knows whose child hasn't come home with giardia).

-She's on her second round of antibiotics for ear infections and a terrible snotty nose. The problem is that we CANNOT get her to swallow it. We've tried hiding the liquid in her favorite foods, in formula, and in Sprite. We've tried sneaking a spoonful of medicine in between bites at mealtimes. We've tried laying her on her back and forcing the syringe to the back of her throat. She spits the stuff out. EVERY TIME. Any advice?

-She's trying so hard to talk. She says: doggie, kitty, and cracker (they all sound like "ga ga"). She says "arf." She says "up" when we go up the stairs. She says "wa" for "water." (Giving kisses)

-She's not afraid of anything. She's up for any adventure: swimming pool, sledding, aquarium--you name it, she'll try it. I thought she would be shy and timid. Nope! (Catching snowflakes)

(Sledding--note the graham cracker in each hand for snacking emergencies)

(The aquarium. Sharks? I'm not afraid of sharks!) (Holding a real live Easter bunny at the church Easter party)

(Bunny hop sack race--note the cracker in her left hand)

-We had our one-month post placement visit with out social worker this week. Fifteen minutes before our appointment Natalie fell into the gutter and got her first major owie. Naturally. I'm not sure what social workers look for at these visits--ours makes us feel like we're just catching up with an old friend.

(Ouch!)

-We're going to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant with our Ethiopian group tonight. It will be Natalie's first Ethiopian food since we got home. I can't wait to see what she does with that injera...

Natalie today

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:58:00 +0000

Natalie today...
loves to eat,

loves to empty the cupboards,

loves to dig in the rocks and the sandbox,

loves to eat,

loves to "do dishes,"

loves to be silly (the "hat" was all her idea),

loves the swing if you tickle her tummy,

LOVES playing in the water,

is determined to blow bubbles like her brother,

loves her family,
is just plain adorable.

Addis Ababa

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:50:00 +0000

Before I continue with day three in Ethiopia, I thought I should post about Addis Ababa, the city where we stayed for most of our trip.

Addis Ababa is the capital of Ethiopia. It is --almost impossible to describe. For those of you who have never been there, here's my best attempt to give you a feel for the place (and keep in mind that I watch and read too much science fiction).

Okay, first, rip a hole in the fabric of time and pour through it everything and everyone from 10,000 years ago up to the present. Then, spray over the big chaotic mess every ounce of exhaust fumes and pollution ever created. And then you'll have Addis.

This is Addis.

This is Addis (kudos to Pat, by the way, who captured most of these images from inside a moving bus).

I had heard about the pollution. I was unprepared for the intensity of it. The smells were awful. If you asked me to describe Addis in two words I would say: "car exhaust." You could not escape the awful smells. Even in our hotel room, exhaust fumes seeped under the windows to stink up the room. A layer of soot covered even the nicest of buildings. Every day we gave thanks to the Environmental Protection Agency back home and to all the little rules and regulations that drive us crazy but ensure that we live in a place where we can breathe.

Okay, deep breath of fresh air--that covers the smells. The sights: wow. Every city I've ever been to is boooring compared to Addis. One minute you're driving by the Sheraton where Brad and Angelina stayed, two blocks later a herd of donkeys is galloping down the city streets foraging for grass.

See, I'm not making this up.

Shacks made of corrugated tin line the streets in front of even the nicest buildings. The traffic is horrible and the drivers seem crazy but no one seems to get hurt.

And the people. There are people everywhere. Walking. Walking. Everyone seems to be walking somewhere. Six, seven, eight people deep the people are walking on both sides of the roads, always with a purpose. The buses and cars are crammed full of people and are stacked high with mattresses, watermelons, you name it. I had no idea Ethiopia had so many people.

We saw an old man as big as Buddha ambling naked down the street, a slaughtered cow, bright and bloody, being offered for sale? on the dirty sidewalk right next to all the traffic. We saw a "Denver Broncos cafe," its blue and orange sign covered with the same soot as everything else, an "Obama cafe," and this store that sold "Burgers, Coffee and tea and wedding cakes."

We saw a young girl leading her blind grandfather across the busy street, goat herds just sitting on the side of the side of the road, school children in their matching uniforms, and a man with no fingers weaving cloth (at the Leper hospital).

Traffic and road construction.
We saw "scaffolding" like this all over the city. Anyone want to volunteer for construction work?

School children.

Bathing and washing clothes in the river.

The pictures are inadequate. The words are inadequate. But I hope this gives you a little glimpse of Addis from our eyes.

Ethiopia: day three

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 16:37:00 +0000

Saturday was sightseeing day in Addis. It was also Wesley's birthday! How many American kids can say they turned thirteen in Africa?!

Holt really packed in the activities. We started by visiting the museum on the University of Addis campus.
The displays were interesting, but no good for Everett, who is used to "interactive" museums, and who couldn't understand why he couldn't pound on the drums, or blow through the flutes, or touch...everything.
These are the 18? steps that symbolize the 18? years of Mussolini's occupation. I'm sure the Ethiopians didn't appreciate being taken over, but I, selfishly, am glad the Italians left all those pasta recipes behind so we had something to eat while we were in Ethiopia besides injera.

Everett was a walking museum display himself. Everyone was so fascinated by his little blond head. This woman stared and stared at him. The guard at the front of the museum insisted that Everett sit on his lap.

For lunch we ate at the "Lucy cafe" which is at the other museum in Addis and sometimes houses "Lucy's" bones (she's one of the earliest hominids or something like that--I know I know, I should check my facts before I do these posts. I'm just plain too tired). I was disappointed we hadn't gone to this museum, but oh well.

After lunch we got to participate in our first Ethiopian coffee ceremony.

The woman roasted the coffee beans, passed around popcorn, and brewed the coffee before us. She had eyes only for Everett. Ethiopians LOVE children! She knew just how to ease her way into his little heart. It wasn't long before she had him on her hap and he was giving her a kiss on the cheek.

In the U.S. you celebrate your 21st birthday with liquor so Wesley thought that he should celebrate his 13th with his first cup of coffee (since Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee and all). He laced it with lots of sugar and drank the whole cup (the cups are little but the coffee is STRONG). He pronounced that it wasn't too bad. Several hours later his head was spinning and he had a horrible headache. He blamed it on the coffee which was fine with us--we certainly don't want a teenage Starbucks addict on our hands at home.

I'm not even halfway through the day....I'll save the rest of day three for another post.

Spoke too soon

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:08:00 +0000

So, as soon as I said the sleep situation was getting better it got worse--Natalie woke up every half hour Thursday night. I finally brought her to bed with us at 4 a.m. She still slept fitfully, but at least she slept.

The good news is that she slept great Friday night and Everett, too, seems back on track. We'll see what happens tonight...

I'll spare you any more sleep drama details. Back to the trip, and our second meeting with Enatalem...

We were lucky enough to meet Enatalem for the first time on Thursday because we arrived in Addis so early. We joined up with the rest of travel group #4 Friday morning for the "official" first meeting with the kids.

This was the first time Everett and my mom met Enatalem (Everett had been too tired and cranky the day before to join us). Everett was so excited to meet his "baby sister." He brought a dolly to give her.

The care center staff gathered the ten families in the big playroom on the first floor. Then--big drama--one at a time, they announced each child's name and led that child down the stairs to meet his or her family.

Enatalem was first. She saw us and screamed her head off. She was inconsolable. Either she didn't remember us from the day before or, worse, she did. I kept a smile pasted on my face but inside my heart was breaking. I have no idea how the first meetings went with the other families. Probably Enatalem ruined them with her screaming. I have no idea. My attention was all on her.

Finally, they had us take her outside. She didn't calm down like the day before. The male nurse (wish I could remember his name--really nice guy) said we should take her to the hotel with us and keep her overnight. Then, the next day, "she will be adopted."

He acted so encouraging. So positive. I couldn't say anything to the man. Take her with us? The child hated us. And he wanted us to keep her all night? I couldn't do it. I didn't say that to the man. I felt terribly guilty. This was supposed to be my child. But, I couldn't even imagine being responsible for her, all by ourselves, already.

They train you to expect the possibility that your child won't take to you right away. You think you've prepared yourself to be rejected. But when it happens, it's awful. It's sooo stressful. The honest truth--what I wanted to do was to run back to the hotel ALONE and say maybe we'll try this again tomorrow. Maybe.

Okay, so eventually I got her looking at some baby photos tacked to the wall and she fell asleep again. The nurse had kindly left us alone (he had probably seen the look of horror on my face when he suggested that we take Enatalem for the night and wisely retreated). He returned now and suggested that we take her to the hotel, feed her lunch, and then bring her back to the care center.

Pat had to go fill out paperwork with the other families at the Holt offices so I trudged up the gazillion flights of stairs at the Union with this sleeping baby who hated us, settled into the hotel room, and waited for her to wake up.

When she did, she was confused, but she didn't cry. I had made some toddler formula we had brought from home and she gulped that down like she was starving. Then, Everett took over.

He showed her every toy we had brought. He crowded next to her. He was so in her face I was sure she'd scream. But, she didn't.

Everett invented "the marker game." He dropped markers into one of the big empty water bottles we got from the hotel. They filled the bottle with markers. Then they dumped them out. This entertained Enatalem forever. The marker game, we believe, is what finally won Enatalem over. Whenever we went to visit her after that, we brought the empty water bottle and the markers. Maybe she wasn't so sure about us. But she loved those markers.

She smiled and giggled and I fed her the lunch of injera, red sauce, and potatoes the care center had sent for her. We played for most of the afternoon, then finally returned her to the care center. It was a good ending to an emotionally exhausting day.

We walked to "The Golf Club" with the rest of the group and had pizza that night (surreal experience--yes, it is on a golf course--it's set back just beyond the filth, the goats, and the beggars). I could barely keep my eyes open to eat.