The Things Above

These Unexpected Surprises: Sports and More Sports

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 20:00:00 +0000

I like basketball. A lot. However, I always have and always will have a certain dislike for sports, moreso than the average American male anyway. This has as much to do with experiences growing up as it does with the typical picture of athletic culture in America we see: a bunch of steroid-pumpers, gang-bangers, uber-macho men who complain about getting paid 15 million instead of 30 million to play a game, with men getting so involved and attached to this environment it affects other areas of their life such as work and family. Seen it before, and will see it again. This kind of fanatic obsession is responsible for too many absent fathers, absent from their families, communities, and churches. And this is exactly why I avoided it for so many years, except for the occasional Super Bowl or Summer Olympics maybe. It doesn't help that I'm not athletically built at all; can't run, jump, shoot, bat, kick, block, hit, or slide. No matter how hard I try, I end up an exhausted, blistering, sweaty, sobbing mess. Sure, with practice and exercise I could do a somewhat decent job. But that doesn't change the fact I've tried telling myself for a long time now.

My step-dad is one of those sports fanatic obsessives; for several years I lived in a very sports-saturated environment, learning (a few, not all) sports concepts, styles of play, terms, teams and histories, etc. All very helpful and crucial information for striking out on your own and succeeding in life. I went to a few basketball games before moving, and played some serious bowling during the high school years. But after moving out on my own, I realized other things are more important, and gradually lost interest, becoming numb to the whole sports world and maybe even being one of the four North American residents who didn't watch the Super Bowl one year. Then I moved to Iowa, got married, started a family, started college, and other things kept piling up to the point where sports just didn't factor in at all. And that was fine with me.

Yet, I just can't help myself. For about a year now, probably more, I've been kind of into it. Not all sports, just some. Pretty much just professional football and basketball, the good ol' NFL and NBA. I find it ironic that those are the sports I latch onto, after complaining above and for years previous about all the over-paid, over-drugged, over-arrogant players and fanatics out there. Regardless, I think it all started with moving out to Iowa and suddenly being surrounded by a family full of angry, beer-drinking, psychologically-unbalanced Pittsburgh Steelers fans. And then they won the Super Bowl, and it was all downhill from there.

But the NFL has not grabbed my attention like the NBA has. Even more gang-bangers and complainers than the NFL, go figure, but I can't explain it. Maybe it's because I used to play some basketball, and by "play" I mean shoot around in the driveway and take a class at the community center (scrimmages were my favorite). Maybe it's because I love the fast-paced energy, the teamwork, the last-second desperation shots, the essential balance between offense and defense. Not that other sports don't have those factors, but it seems basketball requires all of those on another level, all at the same time, by every player on the team at all times in order to win. Maybe it's because I grew up around Portland, OR, home of the Portland Trail Blazers, and also home to some of the most loyal and supportive fans in professional sports.

Now, I've seen how involved someone can become with sports, or just being competitive in general (it really is a guy thing), but I'm going to do as much as possible to prevent that from happening to me, God help me. I don't really like watching football a whole lot, but just enjoy following the season and teams online, and maybe watch some Steelers' games here and there and the Super Bowl event. Following the NBA is pretty similar; it's a lot easier to follow everything online, as it doesn't interrupt family time or stall homework that much. But, I did force my wife to watch a little of a recent Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers game, and that was quite the experience; that one Lebron James guy is fun to watch. I can definitely see myself watching a lot more NBA on the T.V., especially Blazers' games someday. Especially if they stop getting injured, get their teamwork down, and can start beating teams like the Washington Wizards by more than two points. To sum up, I will say this: I will be very disappointed if I'm living in Iowa without even basic cable and this is the season the Blazers somehow, miraculously make it all the way to the NBA Finals and win it all. Very disappointed.

That Strong Support: A Help-mate and Cheerleader

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:55:00 +0000

This specific post is dedicated to my beautiful, thoughtful, hard-working and amazing wife.

Like I've said before, in previous posts, these last few months have been very challenging, tiring, and downright stressful at times. We had one of the worst winters on record in Iowa and couldn't go outside except to forage for what little food remained; had numerous bouts of sickness and ear infections and flu-like symptoms; continued on with school work and a full time job; and tried to keep up with two fast-growing boys, all cooped up in a "cozy" house. And with us keeping spending under firm control, and having started a combination diet and exercise routine (at least one of us has; guess who), there has been no lack of difficult times this last year or so.

But through it all, my strong, supportive wife has made it so much easier to get through and deal with it all. Knowing that she is at home, taking care of our boys and our humble home, fills me with such an amazing sense of peace, knowing that things have been taken care of or will be. Coming home on lunch break, or after work's all done for the day, is an equally amazing feeling, and something I look forward to each and every day. Even if we just get to see each other for a few minutes before I have to leave after lunch break is over, or if I have to start on homework for the night, it's very refreshing to see her and spend even a few minutes with her.

Just today, she spend her morning at home packing up the boys in the van, driving to Starbucks then to my work, all to bring me a coffee and breakfast sandwich. She went out just for me, to bring me something that I only shared a couple bites of with her (!). It was such a treat, after a long week at work, to get to see my wife and sons on my first break at work, instead of having to wait a few more hours to see them again that day. Truly amazing.

When I have a lot of homework to do (and I usually do), she understands and will make sure I can use the computer as early as possible at night so I can get started. When I can't change my work schedule so I can be home to help her get a chore or errand done, she gets it done anyway. When I leave work on lunch break, and have a short amount of time in which to drive home through traffic, eat, and spend time with her and the boys, she makes sure to have food ready for right when I park in the driveway. Because of her, we get to eat together as a family each and every night.

Because of her, I'm reminded each and every day of why I work odd hours and why I take such difficult college classes and why I stay up late each night doing homework. Because of her I have the peace of mind knowing that our boys are in the best possible hands each and every moment of the day. Because of her I can be reminded of how, through all the storms, trials, and problems that come our way, we can continue the race set before us, sacrifice now, work hard, and enjoy the fruits of this season for years to come.

Thank you, for all that you do and all you will do,

-your husband

"An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels."
-Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)

The Strange Calm: Quiet Assurance and Loving Fellowship

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:50:00 +0000

I'm going on a writing spree, and it's quite enjoyable. Yet with a spring term of five classes starting up now, plus the usual other responsibilities, I wonder how long I'll be able to keep going. Sure, I could write something short and brief, with a picture or two, but I sincerely doubt that would satisfy the desire to write, and I would likely not be able to say too terribly much, at least not as much as I normally do. Still, it's a desire I do have, and want to make good practice at, so I know I will try to accomplish some writing over the next few months.

Today we had an interesting day, filled with sickness and runny noses (and a certain someone dropping the ball care- and comfort-wise for these sickies; go ahead and guess who, I don't mind); some rain early in the morning; then capped off with our church small group, our Acts 2:42 group. While it can be seen to take up some valuable family-together time, I have truly come to value the prayer time, discussions, and fellowship. We've been with pretty much the same group for a long, long time now, and have really grown a lot together over the months. Sometimes though, I feel like a great thought pops up in my mind, I blurt it out and try to explain what I'm thinking, and I end up rambling on and on and on to no real point. It's sometimes been difficult, painfully so, for me to share thoughts in my head, and put the words together as fast as they form in my head. I wish I could explain things better, because it's quite frustrating. Sometimes, you have to realize there's a time for silence; but at times I just have a hard time realizing that. With my side story done now, our group is truly amazing, made up of folks who strive to learn the Word and grow more like Christ with all their heart, soul, strength and mind. We laugh a lot, cry sometimes, and eat too much, but I always come away refreshed and strengthened by these amazing brothers and sisters of mine.

The thing I like most about the group is that we've gotten to the point where we can truly open up to each other, share real concerns and issues, ask for help and prayer, and discuss sometimes confusing but always enriching topics from sermons and the Word. For instance, tonight we talked about the sections in Exodus and Romans concerning the hardening of pharaoh's heart, and our Father's role in it. It's a very hard concept to grasp, and even harder to accept, yet we can achieve such a deeper, more meaningful understanding of the Father's power and purposes through it all. We were all disappointed to find out our pastor decided to just glaze over the subject this week, and cover the topic more in depth over the coming weeks; therefore we found ourselves discussing the subject without a firm understanding of the entire issue and relevant passages (a fact which didn't stop me from rambling on and on and on; read above paragraph for an explanation). I've researched it a tiny bit before, but not nearly as much as necessary I would say, so I am very much looking forward to discussing this subject further, and then sharing the results. This could easily turn into another post or two, but we will have to wait and see.

For soon the storms arise again. Spring term classes begin today, and I am not looking forward to more late nights of homework (although I am happy about not having any accounting homework; it's the little victories...). I'm sure some classes will be harder than others, and harder than some I've taken already, even when taking into account 13-page accounting finals and ten-page direct marketing team projects. And I'm sure some classes will be comparatively easy; at least, I hope so. Again with the having to wait and see. Even with all this work ahead of me, along with all the normal responsibilities of career, marriage, and fatherhood, I find myself surprisingly calm before it all begins. Granted, I still have concerns and worries, but nothing like what I've experienced before, in other stressful and trying times. Especially after our group discussions tonight, when there was so much talk and so much emphasis on the supremacy of our Father over all and in the midst of all that we do, see, think, and endure. It is reassuring to know and to be reminded that the Master Potter truly is supreme over all, and that His very Son, Jesus Christ, was sent to redeem His own creation.

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
-Matthew 6:26-27 (ESV)

"There's a peace I've come to know,
though my heart and flesh may fail.
There's an anchor for my soul;
I can say it is well.
Jesus has overcome,
and the grave is overwhelmed.
The victory is won,
He is risen from the dead."
-It Is Well (Sixsteps Worship)

The Crushing Burden: Deliverance, Remedies, Substitutions

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:37:00 +0000

Here is the text of a Puritan prayer that was shared at church recently, and which can be found in this book Valley of Vision, edited by Arthur G. Bennett. Normally I'm not one for poetry, but it's growing on me, and this particular poem is a large reason for that.

O God of unsearchable greatness.
Before Thee I am nothing but vanity, iniquity, perishing;
sin has forfeited thy favour,
stripped me of thy image,
banished me from thy presence,
exposed me to the curse of thy law.

I cannot deliver myself, and am in despair.
But a resource is found in thee,
for without my desert or desire,
thou didst devise an everlasting plan,
honourable to thy perfections,
and which angels desired to look into.

And the Word which announces all the glory of this goodness
is nigh me, invites me, beseeches me.
May I, a convinced and self-despairing sinner,
find Jesus as the power unto salvation,
His death the centre of all relief,
the source of all gospel-blessings.

Help me to repair to that cross,
be crucified to the world by it,
and in it find deepest humiliation,
motives to patience and self-denial,
grace for active benevolence.
faith to grasp eternal life,
hope to lift up my head,
love to bind me forever
to Him who died and rose for me.

May His shed blood make me
more thankful for thy mercies,
more humble under thy correction,
more zealous in thy service,
more watchful against temptation,
more contented in my circumstances,
more useful to others.

That Steady Strength: Encouragement, Sacrifices, and Discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:33:00 +0000

I realize that every time I write on here I somehow mention the need to write more and to write more often, and three months since my last attempt is downright pitiful, especially for someone who enjoys writing so much. I get online nearly every single night, and think enough thoughts and experience enough experiences during the day where I should be able to come up with even a short couple paragraphs of "nothing new, going to bed, look at this quote." With this disclaimer in place, I must add a disclaimer to the disclaimer: time is precious, and could best be spent elsewhere.

Since this last September or so, I have been both working full-time and taking a full-time college class load online for a business degree. Since this last July, we have had another crazy little boy to take care of, in addition to the boy added the September before that, and the wife added the September before that. To sum up these additions, time is precious, and there are multiple responsibilities that must be met on a daily basis. Time management was lost on me in high school and my first college experience way back when, and I have had to learn the skill through trial and error. You can sleep in late each morning, but then you don't have time with the family before you leave for work at noon. You can go right to bed when you get home from work at 9pm, but then you lose that essential quality time with your wife. You can watch television or surf the internet all night, but then you wouldn't have any time to get all that homework done. Responsibilities must always be met, and priorities must be set, with the discipline to stick it out, make sacrifices when necessary, and endure, sometimes painfully but always slowly, until one responsibility ends. And ideally you won't need more than one guess as to which responsibility comes first.

I would honestly like nothing more than to work a regular shift, come home and spend a few hours with the boys and then the wife, then spend some time reading or writing before going to bed before 2am (on a good night). However, we don't have the luxury of voiding out one of these responsibilities; although we technically could, the costs would be far too high. This is a season of our lives that calls for sacrifice and increased responsibilities, to make up for time lost (or wasted) so that the future can be that much brighter, not just for us, but for our kids, our family, and those around us.

I say all that to say that it's actually not too bad right now; the work schedule seems to allow the best possible balance between work, family, and school responsibilities. I have never really felt overwhelmed by it all; the classwork isn't too terribly difficult, the work is relatively easy and with a good company for a good wage, and the family is a joy and encouragement I can't begin to describe. Yet, things could get hairy these next couple of months: it's a busy season at work, with it getting close to the end of the fiscal year and needing to meet year-end goals; I'm taking an additional class for a total of five (corporate finance, insurance & risk management, business law II, managerial communication, and e-management); I'll be completing an internship through my employer to meet a graduation requirement for school; and spring is so, so very close and we all can't wait to spend as much time outside as possible. Regardless of how many responsibilities there are, or how difficult or trying they are, this season too shall pass, the sacrifices will lessen, and the investment will be paying off.

We have a lot to be thankful for, with all this going on. I am able to attend a high-quality business school for little (but still substantial) out-of-pocket expense; we have been greatly blessed with the job I have right now; bills are paid, some money is being saved, we have a lot of diet food in the house; and we all are healthy, if not depressed with the long, cold winter we've been enduring. I think I will be writing another post on thankfulness soon, seeing as I have free time before classes start 03/08/10 and the subject is so crucial to living in our high-debt, high-pressure society of today. I might even be able to include some examples from folks I have talked with at work. We shall see.

Until next time, which will be sooner rather than later if all goes according to plan, here are some wise words to ponder on:

"He who tills his land will have plenty of bread,
but he who pursues worthless things lacks sense."
-Proverbs 12:11 (NASB)

Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-Roger Babson

Those Passing Days: Gratitude and Anticipation

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:30:00 +0000

It is very surprising how fast time can go by. Just a few short months ago our second son Josiah was born, and the year 2010 is just another month away. Before we know it Josiah will be a whole year old, spring and summer will be here again, and another year will have passed.

The Thanksgiving holiday was a few days ago, and it was very enjoyable this year. We got together with Kasey's family; in-laws, grandparents, nieces and nephews, uncles, distant cousins, everyone was there which made for a full house and fun all-around. We had a huge feast: appetizers of spinach-artichoke dip and olives; a main course of the traditional, low-calorie, low-fat fixings; and finished off with several slices of apple, pumpkin, and pecan pie (all homemade!). It was all so delicious and filling that I couldn't walk when we were all finished; I could only roll myself in the general direction I wanted to go.

As is often the case, I've found myself reflecting on what I have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. So here I am to share a little, and to also get a blog post in for the month of November.

Family- I am thankful for my wife. There's no one I know who does as much for her children and the household as Kasey does. She is my best friend, who I can share anything with and she will give her honest opinion, even (especially!) when it's something I've been struggling with and won't exactly like the answer I need to hear. She is always singing and laughing, sometimes about something completely random, other times singing our youngest to sleep. I don't know how I could go through a day without talking with her, without us saying our "I love yous."

I am thankful for my sons. Benjamin and Josiah are growing up so fast, it's both shocking and amazing to see. I remember when Ben couldn't move himself around at all, and now he's running around everywhere and I can barely keep up with him (because of the huge Thanksgiving meal, mind you). Josiah is at the stage where he wants to run around with us, and starting to want the food we're eating, yet can't seem to get his legs going fast enough or move his hands in time to grab the food before we do. I cannot wait to watch them grow even more over the coming months and years, and see the changes that are in store.

I am thankful for grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews and cousins. There's nothing like gathering everyone into one place and spending time with one another, laughing, playing, eating, talking, and sharing together. A little peace amidst a trying world.

Church- I am thankful for Willow Creek Baptist Church, and the pastors, members, and friends we've found there. It's been a long time since we've felt welcomed and challenged by a particular church, and both Kasey and I are so thankful for it. I am so thankful to have strong, Biblical teaching and influences for the family I am responsible for leading. Worship is powerful and Christ-centered; the preaching is centered on God's Holy Word; and the fellowship that has grown through events and times of service and the community groups has been so beneficial. We have all been so blessed by our time thus far at Willow Creek. I am thankful for a great church body, and a wonderful Creator-Savior, who sits on His throne above all the problems and miseries of this world.

House- I am thankful for a nice, comfortable house for us to live in. With two boys, and numerous bins of books and Christmas decorations to store, we needed more space than an apartment could allow. We've lived in this house for more than a year now (and are running out of space already; I'm also thankful for books :) and can't imagine living in an apartment at this stage in our lives. We could have made do in an apartment; we don't need more stuff (as in books) and the boys can always share a bedroom, but we had a gift given to us, and we were glad to accept. It is so enjoyable to live ten minutes from work, get to drive home on lunch break, and see my boys watching out the window for me as I drive down our road and park in the driveway.

Job- I am thankful for a job. In today's world, just to be working is such a blessing, regardless of the kind of work or the company. We would do well to think of the countless thousands that are looking for work, and have no options and no where else to go. And not only do I have a job, but a good job with great benefits and great co-workers. Sure, working in a call center has never been the easiest or most enjoyable, but this particular job has been the most rewarding by far, not only to me personally but to our family as a whole. Who knows where we will be in a year or two, but right now I cannot help but give thanks for the great job I have been given.

School- I am thankful for the opportunity to earn a college degree. It hasn't been easy, and there's been plenty of sleepless nights and missed time with family, but by this time next year (hopefully, according to plan) I will have earned an accredited bachelor's degree from a top business school, all with little cost out-of-pocket. Yes, I could have taken the time and the courses to finish a while ago, but to be able to afford to take classes now, while working and raising a family, has been difficult at times, but also extremely rewarding. In the long run, the hard work and sacrifice we put in now will pay off handsomely in the future.

Country and Military- I am thankful for the united States of America, and the armed forces serving to protect her. While we may not agree with the politics and politicians of today, or support any foreign wars we now fight, we can be thankful that we live in a country where we can disagree and not support such things. While we may not like the political party currently holding office, we can be thankful to be living in a country where elections matter and votes do count. While we enjoy the right to work and live and learn as we please here at home, we can be thankful that others have died, are dying, and will die to protect that right and make sure posterity does as well. I am thankful to live in America, and I am thankful to be an American.

While I could list multiple other things to be thankful for, I realize the Thanksgiving holiday has already come and gone, and now is the time to (officially) prepare for Christmas. However, never forget to be thankful for what you do have, what you have already been given, and what God Almighty has already done.

Say thank you to your family and friends and country's soldiers, whistle while you work, and pray a prayer of thanks to the One who gives and takes away.

"The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."
-Proverbs 29:25 (ESV)

The Lessons of Hope: Together We Couldn't, Can't and Never Will

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:07:00 +0000

So yesterday the news broke that the Olympic committee had voted against Chicago and the United States hosting the 2016 Olympics. There was much disbelief, sadness, bitterness and frustration all around. After working so hard, waiting so long, and spending so much, all of our enormous efforts fell upon deaf ears and thankless hearts. Major celebrities and politicians went so far as to leave the country to meet with Olympic committee members, something that had rarely, if ever, happened before. Those meetings were held and some speeches were made, yet in the end Chicago was voted out in the very first round.

Regardless of what major issue our nation is facing, whether it be the economy or health care or war or even sports games, we must remember the truth. No matter which party controls the Senate and House, no matter how many conservative or liberal judges sit on the Supreme Court, no matter how many Republican or Democratic governors there are, we need to remember the truth. Whether we have an experienced, weathered, and respected commander-in-chief, or a no-name, former alcoholic, lying adulterer sitting in the Oval Office, we have to remember the truth. We say that the other political party has the answers, or that greedy corporations or tyrannical governments have it out for us, yet we must hold on to the truth:

What we must remember, what we must hold on to, what we must share is that our hopes will always be dashed when we place our hope in mankind, but we can see hope realized through our Almighty Father.

We must stop placing our hopes in political parties, a piece of legislation, or national political leaders. This does not mean that we must chant "all we need is Jesus," or stage a "Jesus for president" rally. The issues at stake are far larger than that, and more complicated than that. To simplify the matter that way is not beneficial, wise or necessary.

What we must remember, what we must hold on to, what we must share is the authority and supremacy of the Father, expressed in the saving grace of His Son on the Cross.

We see economies collapse and people starve; dictators lie and deceive and brag; criminals and pedophiles taunt and go free; wars started and finished; disasters destroy cities and kill thousands; and terrorists murder and destroy, yet in reply we always tend to pass blame onto someone or something else and call for more government control or try and get the other party elected next time.

What we must remember, what we must hold on to, what we must share is that this world can only offer depravity and hopelessnes, and how our fears can be calmed and hope satisfied by the Redeemer Messiah.

Through Him and only Him can our hopes be met.

We must remember that.

"My hope is built on nothing less,
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand."
-The Solid Rock

Those New Adventures: Shoe Booties and Hospital Cafeteria Food

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:27:00 +0000

So Josiah Levi Foster was born today, at 1:38pm, weighing in at 7 pounds 7 ounces, and measuring 19 1/2 inches, at Mercy Hospital in downtown Des Moines. Very exciting, very exhausting, very memorable day!

Tomorrow we will be starting the series of tests and check-ups to see if there is a problem with his kidneys, and whether or not surgery will be needed. Besides that, Kasey had to go through another c-section; neither of us wanted one in the first place as they seem to add a flavor of "NASCAR pit crew doing business as usual" to what should be a time of rejoicing and praise, welcoming new life into the world. But, with Kasey's first delivery experience being less than pleasurable, we went with the tried-and-true this time around. So far things are going great; Kasey is doing well and recovering, and baby Josiah is healthy and strong, eyes wide open and taking it all in.

It feels weird being at home with just me and Ben here, and Kasey and Josiah in the hospital. Hopefully, we will be able to come home Thursday night instead of Friday morning, so we might be able to start our new lives with two boys that much sooner!

Ice cream tastes great. Movies and television can be entertaining. A good book can invigorate and educate. Friends and family can support you and make you laugh. But when you hear your son cry out for the first time, and see him for the first time, and hold him for the first time, all else fades away and becomes sheer nonsense.

I wish I had more and better words to help describe the feeling; you're in this room filled with bright lights, expensive medical tools, nurses running all around holding stuff or getting ready to hold stuff, and doctors doing who-knows-what on the other side of the curtain separating you and your wife from all the "action." You're holding your wife's hand, wondering if you should try to convince her to let you take a picture of her in this emotional and traumatic state because everyone wants to remember this part. You can hear the doctors discussing the game plan on the other side of the curtain: "With a snip snip here, and a cut cut there..." "Don't touch that." "Where's the manual?" All of a sudden, the banter stops, the nurses stop running around, and you hear it: the first cry. Your heart stops, your eyes water up, you try and catch a glimpse of him as he comes forth into the world. Next thing you know, he's taken over to a table where he's poked and examined and cleaned for what seems like eternity, before being wrapped up and taken over to see Mommy. And the whole time this is going on, the doctors are high-fiving each other; you're trying to keep from getting steam-rolled by the delivery nurses while trying to wrestle them out of the way for the best camera angle; and you still haven't taken a breath or seen through clear eyes.

There, maybe those words will help.

But I doubt it.

"Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love."
-Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Those Uncomfortable Questions: Breaking Silences and Comfort Zones

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Nothing like getting up early on an overcast Saturday morning to get to as many garage sales as possible, before all the good books and Pottery Barn baskets are sold. Starbucks helps though. That, and finding one or two books that you hadn't expected to find, or that had been trying to find for years. Then you get to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home while your son naps and your wife is out shopping (of course) and you mow the lawn. Except that last part. Instead, you waste a full two hours eating lunch, watching Scrubs, and milling about on the computer (not writing a single thing). Oh, the simple things. I'm pretty sure the question "Baby, can you mow the lawn while I'm gone" will only ever make me think of other possible ways to waste two hours. That is, until your wife comes home finally, and you go outside to greet her, and the grass actually does seem pretty tall and you have nothing to show for the two hours she was gone besides a guilty conscience and a full stomach.

Then in Sunday school, on a somewhat-lazy, laid-back morning looking forward to spending time learning and growing and maturing, you're hit with not a few surprises. Namely, some questions, or rather an entire discussion, that wakes you up a lot better than the scratchy homemade coffee does (no time for Starbucks that morning). Instead of the Sunday class listening to and soaking up the teaching, someone who's relatively new asks some rarely-heard questions of the group leader that makes all sit up and catch their breath.

People tend to underestimate the power and potential of questions nowadays. The questions we ask can accomplish multiple things, besides as a means of getting the answers we want to the questions we ask. We can reveal what we really think and feel about a person or subject. We can also reveal how little we really know about them or it. We can suddenly show our true colors and true agenda, where before we just went with the flow, waiting for the right time to strike. With just the right tone, just the right choice of words, with just the right timing we can change the whole mood and meaning of, say, a Sunday school group meeting. With questions, we can challenge assumptions and beliefs, forcing the spotlight on a subject that doesn't get much every-day discussion and practically requires entire theological dissertations to explain and defend.

With questions having the power and potential they do, it is supremely important that we understand how we react to and view them, for there is such a thing as different kinds of questions. Peter writes in his first letter that we as believers must always be "ready to make a defense... for the hope that is in you (NASB)," which seems to be easier said than done, especially when those asking questions of us have a set agenda and know how to pinpoint and exploit weaknesses (like the lack of good coffee). Not that we can excuse ourselves by this, but we must at the same time acknowledge where and what our weaknesses are, in order to repair and replenish before the next question, which will most certainly come. We are to be prepared. But that doesn't mean we will only be questioned when we are ready; in fact, for some strange we only seem to get questions when we are at the least ready. Quite strange, in fact.

Yet just because some questions are asked of us with intentional malice or to support an agenda, does not mean that we should look down upon all questions and questioning. In fact, the Bereans in Acts were called "noble-minded" for their "searching (of) the Scriptures," and for comparing what was written with what was being preached to them. By definition, "searching... to see whether these things were so" would denote someone asking questions, asking for clarification on a difficult passage, or how this one teaching is influenced by another passage. Too often we look down on someone in the church who asks a lot of questions; we brush them off with something like a casual "just have more faith" comment. While there is a point where we are to have the "child-like faith" that Christ talks about, that does not remove the need for some of us to ask another question or two before we can get to that point.

The motives behind questions are the biggest thing to consider when responding. The questioner could just be trying to prove a point by proving you wrong, or could be trying their hardest to understand the bountiful grace of our Holy Father. To those that come at us with swords drawn, we must be prepared to stand tall and meet them head-on, in order to both defend and convince of the truth. With others we must do our best to answer questions, praying for wisdom along the way, while we both grow in our eternal hope together. We should not take the sword to the one who merely wants to understand, nor should we simply sit down and have a dialogue with those that seek to hinder, pervert, and destroy.

The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.

-Benjamin Franklin

The Challenging and Unforgettable Moments: Diapers and Books and Lawn mowers

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 31 May 2009 04:02:00 +0000

So up until a couple days ago you'd think I'd forgotten all about writing. Well, I had, and Kasey writing again on her blogger inspired me to get back on track also.

I am daunted and yet not at all scared with the thought of having another baby boy come into the world in just over a month. It will take some time to adjust and get used to having another crazy boy around, with more diapers, and more food to make, and more sleep to lose. But there's also even more laughs, more unforgettable moments, and more joy from watching them grow ever bigger and stronger. Just earlier tonight, Ben actually hugged me; not the normal okay-I'll-let-Daddy-hug-me stuff, but when I picked him up he actually put his arms around me and squeezed and then patted my back. Oh, those unforgettable moments. They more than make up for the lost sleep and thin patience, and point out how silly our own desires can be compared to being there for a child.

I graduated from DMACC. No more community college (for now), next step is that bachelor's degree. Kasey and I were driving tonight, and she said something like "You realize we graduated high school 5 years ago?" And then we both thought/said "We should have college degrees by now!" That is, according to normal cultural expectations. We just decided to move to Iowa, get married, have kids, mow the lawn (or try), and skip a couple years worth of school in there. Which, working in the student loan field that I do (and doing the job that I do), I can confidently say that we are much better off for it. That degree (and others) will come, but in their own season. This fall I start at AIB College of Business, for a degree in business administration. The financial aid award letter came a while back, and seems like I will have to pay for just books out of pocket, unless I want to use company tuition reimbursement. So that was a tremendous blessing, one that I must not forget or forgoe. Side note: I've been thinking about small bookstores and rental properties a lot recently. Might just be my "Oh yummy, kool-aid!" habit coming up, but we'll see what God has in store.

I've been doing a lot of reading these last few weeks, especially since I've had all the extra time from no schoolwork. Now there's lots of time to read, no more textbooks and online exams and essays for a while. I just finished The Church Impotent, by Leon Podles, about how the Church in the West has slowly embraced liberalism and feminism, and as a result alienated men and practically outlawed authentic, Biblical masculinity. Very interesting, I'll probably write on here about it soon. I also just finished some garage sale fine, a children's encyclopedia volume on the American Civil War. Right now I'm reading a book on breastfeeding (why do there have to always be pictures?!?) and an apologetics book by RC Sproul. I have a long list of books to get through before the summer ends, nay before the baby comes.

I did read And the Shofar Blew by Francine Rivers again, and I will probably read it again by the end of the summer. Hard-hitting book, I cry a lot. Very spell-binding story, amazing characters, and well-written. Makes you think about ministry and how it can affect family and friendships; what the Church truly is and is not; and how messed up portions of the American church are. One of the things that always hits me hardest is the family relationships part. The main character struggles with his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father, as well as relating to his mother and wife and son. I can't help but think about my own relationship with my family, my mom and dad and brothers and sister; can't help but see where I have done things wrong, have caused pain and harm. Reading this book again showed me how far I have yet to come, and what I still have to do to make things right, at least as much as I personally can. There are still responsibilities and consequences that others must own up to, and God Himself still has work yet to do amidst the whole situation, but that doesn't mean I can neglect or ignore what I have to do. Nothing like a fictional book to make me finally understand that, and to see where I still struggle and to where I need to be.

I must finish this up, as it is getting late, and I have more reading to do.

Parents may have a dozen children, but each one is the only one for them.
-Aramaic proverb

That Twitchy Walk: Sometimes Catchy Titles Don't Come Easy

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:25:00 +0000

This week I found out some pretty exciting news:

I got accepted into AIB College of Business.

If all goes according to plan, I will be starting an online program this September to earn a bachelor's in business administration. This will allow me to (ideally) have a pretty nice job for a long, long while, while our family grows and we make moves and changes in life. Eventually though, more schooling will be pursued.

This degree will only be a stepping stone, of that I am sure. I cherish the thought of teaching some day, although I'm not entirely sure of what I'll be teaching. Economics courses with an online school or at a community college would be nice; that would require a master's level degree though. I've always counted on earning a master's, but in what field has always been a puzzlement. To teach college level business/economic courses would likely require a degree in economics, but that might be too boring. An MBA sounds most likely, and them ain't cheap (but what college education isn't, hmm?) And MBA would also give me a more management-focused education, and that sounds more appealing than class after class of economic theory, as exciting as those are. So an MBA will likely be the next stepping stone, but who knows how far into the future that will be. Family first.

Another path to consider is that of religious education. This path is even hazier than the business degree path, but I know this would involve teaching somehow, something like a Sunday school or Christian education class. For now, business degrees will suffice, and ministry will come about in God's timing. The INSTE classes have been great and I have learned a lot, but it seems that a degree of a higher level than certificate would be necessary. I've found endless quality, inexpensive online colleges offering basic associate and bachelor degrees in religion, but time will tell of what is to come of that. Now is not the time to think about such things, not with a family to provide for, kids to raise, changes and moves to consider. I will remain open to whatever comes my way, but formal preparation on my part is a ways off.

On a somewhat lighter note, I love my current job. It's by far the hardest I've had, with lots of stress and pressure at times, but far greater rewards and fringe benefits. In an average day I can be cussed out, interrupted, and ridiculed, and the work can keep piling up and up, but the times where I actually make a significant difference in somebody's life more than makes up for it all. In addition, the people I work with and the management are all top-notch, and they make it so much easier to roll with the punches. The company has been really good to us so far, and unless I screw things up, I have no second thoughts about that continuing. I am looking forward to Monday, as on that day I will find out how busy the next couple months will be! My current job is another reason I'm pursuing the business degree, not only is the company tuition reimbursement policy quite nice, but with this company there really are opportunities for advancement that I want to take full advantage of.

And on the lightest note, I saw that today was the last day in February, and I wanted to be able to say that I wrote out two posts within the same month again.

I really should do this more often.

The education of a man is never completed until he dies.

-Robert E. Lee

The Numbed Masses: Don't Stop Believin'

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 07:17:00 +0000

Here starts another entry in my weekly/monthly writing adventure. I was up at 1:15am after finishing some homework and listening to Journey's MySpace page in it's entirety, so I figured why not stay up another hour or so and write some stuff down. And I noticed that you can "import your blog" into Facebook, so I'm gonna try that when I'm done here. Sounds exciting.

So Sunday was the big Game Day. Tough-stuff, hard-core, totally-awesome Steelers went up against the youngin' Cardinals in their first Super Bowl appearance. I was cheering for the Steelers, and have suffered constant attacks from friends and family for it. But I stand corrected, redeemed, and triumphant.

What never ceases to amaze me is just how super the "Super Bowl" is. One of the most popular televised sporting events in the entire world, likely the most popular. Millions and millions watched the game, for both the game and the commercials.

Now I've never been much of a sports fan, but I like to catch the big important games such as the Super Bowl. Plus, I thoroughly enjoy a mindless, vending-machine-smashing, hating-your-job commercial, as well as the never-ending stream of great snacks. So overall it was worth it.

Wait... what did I just say? Did I really mean it when I said the highlight of my weekend was sitting for four plus hours in front of the TV eating my body weight in snacks and drink? Sure, the game was intense and nail-biting, and there were some great commercials, but that's it? You mean, the game's over? Now what? Whadya' mean time to clean up? No, that's not my pile of candy wrappers, I threw my pile away already... twice.

I didn't want to get too deep into this issue, because it's late, and I want to try that blog-importing thingy, and the Journey playlist is almost done. But I wanted to bring this topic up, so I can come back to it later: what kind of a man am I if I spend more time in a day with a sports event, dumb commercials, and fatty snacks as I do playing with my son or spending time with my wife? What kind of a culture do we have that elevates a game and its players to such a high all-consuming level?

I will have come back to this later, because there's a lot more to the issue than this and I'm out of time. And by out of time, I mean that I need to find more Journey songs.

Our politics, our religion, news, athletics, education and commerce have been transformed into congenial adjuncts of show business, largely without protest or even much popular notice.
-Neil Postman

The Glowing Sunrise: A New Year, Another Post

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:30:00 +0000

I wonder if anyone out there is entertained by me saying in every single post that I'm going to write more often, "try harder next time," "it's a new beginning," and all sorts of other witty sayings? And then I don't write anything for a month or two. I find it funny.

So today/tonight I decided that I wasn't actually tired, and that I should stay up late and write something, anything, to take away some of the funny guilt. I don't have a plan for this one, this is one of my "free-ranging" posts, one without a purpose, but still enjoyable to write.

My wife and I had a date night tonight, our first in months and months. We definitely can't go that long again without a date night. We really needed one; with the holidays, family, work, school, etc. all piling up around the end of the year, we didn't have a chance for our monthly (at least!) date night. So, for Christmas I got two tickets to go see "Triple Espresso," and it was great! Hilarious, out-loud non-stop laughing the entire two hours. So much fun. Then we drove in the freezing rain to one of our favorite dining establishments, Panera, where we ate a hearty dinner before picking up Ben from his grandparents to head on home. All together a great night, lots of fun and quiet time alone with just Kasey and I, some rough spots here and there (namely when we would slide all over the ice-covered roads), but overall an amazing night.

Hey it's 2009 now. Sounds so far into the future. On my birthday I've never felt older, but for some reason when it's a new year I can really feel it. This year is going to be something special, with a new baby, transferring schools, hopefully getting hired on so no more temping, lots of changes both exciting and perhaps freaky.

So I am 99.9% sure on what bachelor's degree I'm going for now: business administration. Something that I can put to good use practically anywhere, with any company, in any field, in the corporate world or in ministry. And, if I still want to do some teaching down the road, I can get a masters that would allow me to teach at the college level. Right now I have one more term of DMACC left, then the plan is to transfer to Upper Iowa University. They have (according to 3rd party research) one of the best online degree programs in the country, so I can earn that coveted BS by taking all online classes. Yippee! I'm excited to see what comes next, but for now, it's a great, calming feeling to know that there's a goal, that I finally have something set in stone to shoot for. Plus, I only have one more term of INSTE left to finish the certificate in Christian Ministry, so that's more good news.

Tomorrow is laundry day, because we've fallen so far behind on it. Depending on how the weather is tonight and how clear the roads are, we might have to skip church yet again (sad-face), so we would get that pesky laundry done and most likely finish putting the Christmas decorations away (another sad-face). Then another back-to-the-grind work week starts, and this time without a holiday to shorten the week. I hope to hear a final decision and a job offer from work sometime this week; they keep saying that it's going to happen, but I won't stop holding my breath until I sign the contract. It would be so nice to finally have a real job, a secure job, with no more temp jobs!

Well that's all for now folks. Tomorrow I think I'm going to ask Kasey if we want to write down some New Year's resolutions, so maybe I'll have another post here pretty soon. Until then, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

P.S.- GO ISRAEL!!!

Those Leg-Tapping Sounds: Melodies and Memories

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 06:32:00 +0000

This last week or so I've found myself listening to more and more music, a lot more than I have in a long time. I think it started once the homework started piling up; I would turn on some Nickel Creek to distract me while I rushed to catch up on my China and music appreciation classes. There's something about music, some genres more than others, that calms me and allows me to focus more.

Then, once school was done for the term (finally), and I was staying up late on this blog writing about how I never write, I started visiting some old favorites. I started listening to Kutless, Third Day, David Crowder Band, and some others, all my favorites that up until a couple nights ago I hadn't listened to in a long time. After I had worn out those, I would go on Myspace Music and play some of my even older favorites, like Nickelback, Linkin' Park, and right now I have Staind playing. I don't make it a habit to listen to much secular music, but when you're young and home schooled you look for any reason to be cool.

Listening to all these songs that I hadn't listened to in years, since my early years of high school for some of them, brought back some memories. Old memories of high school life, of homework, youth ministry, all-night video games, and Mountain Dew. Oh my, how I used to do the Dew. It was the fuel that allowed all us private school nerds to survive and thrive through an entire night of destroying one another in endless Halo and WarCraft battles.

Another thing that brought up these memories was when Kasey and I were reflecting on high school again this weekend, remembering parties and homework and boyfriends (only her on that last one, just to make sure we're clear). We laughed about the times we wasted, the food we used to eat with no second thoughts, the relationships that were and now are no more, and ended the conversation with observing how much we miss those days and yet don't at the same time.

During high school, there was nothing more fun than getting together with my few friends and going on a sugar-high all night to play as long as we could before finally crashing on whatever couch or chair or floor corner was available. I enjoyed the homework more then too. Back then I wrote papers on the monarchs of Europe or a re-write of Hamlet; now I write ten different papers on China-U.S.-Taiwan relations, or read an entire textbook and then take a quiz based primarily off the chapter titles. And now the latest I can stay up is about 2 or 3 in the morning, and that's only if I am writing a blog or writing out another China paper. Oh and now Mountain Dew disgusts me. I imagine that goat pee tastes about the same.

Looking at where I am now, I can't believe that I thought that was all fun. Maybe my innocence was destroyed after Bible college, or my first full time job, or getting married and having kids; I don't know (big surprise). But I do know that reading to my son or spending time with my wife does not compare in any way to playing some dumb computer game, no matter how great the game is or how many friends you play it with.

High school was great, but I refuse to see those 3+ years as the "best," or "most fun" out of the 80+ I have total. I have a whole career to start, a Father-provided mission to fulfill, a wife to love and cherish, and at least two kids to raise up. Sure, during high school you don't have that much responsibility, your parents take care of everything for you, and you can eat and do whatever you want pretty much. But now that I've been there and done that, now that I actually have some of those responsibilities, I don't know how anyone can wish for the "carefree days" again. I don't want less to do, I want more to do. Being married and raising kids doesn't scare me one bit; being 35-40 and still playing video games does.

When you teach your son, you teach your son's son. -The Talmud

That Annoying Feeling: Cake, Boots, and Theology Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:05:00 +0000

I was going to wait until later to write Part #2, but it's already really late, my words are fresh in my mind, and judging from the frequency of my last posts, I wouldn't have finished Part 2 until March. So here I am, going to be writing two blogs in the same month for the first time ever!

I left off previously with the dramatic poetic finish of how I don't know what's next, but the Father does. While that is very true, I wanted to share what I think might be next, or what "next" might look like.

My greatest, strongest, attention-getting drive is to make a difference. I've never wanted to be the kind of person that works a 9-5 job for 40-plus years, sits in the same church pew for as many years, and dies with just his immediate family missing him. I've always wanted something greater, grander, more dangerous than just being a cubicle-sitter and pew-warmer.

Now, let me clear something up. Before I realized how dumb I am, I wanted to make a "difference" by being a big-time Los Angeles music producer, making a bunch of money, attending all the award shows, and having my name printed in magazines and on billboards. Remembering back on this now just makes me laugh. So, to make sure we understand one another, I don't want to be famous or infamous or popular or adored; that's dumb.

What I do want is to "go out with my boots on." This line comes from one of my favorite films, "Secondhand Lions," with Robert Duvall and Michael Caine and Haley Joe Osment. It's about this young boy who doesn't have a father and whose mother deserts him with his two "crazy" uncles. It's a story that I grew to love, as it deals with some serious issues like manhood and having that male role model to guide and help you, and has some great ol' fashioned sword fighting scenes to boot. But one of the great points of the story is the type of men that the two uncles are, men who don't shy away from danger, who make right and moral decisions, and provide that strong guidance that the wayward young man needs. In the end, they are upheld as men who "went out with their boots on," as in they didn't lounge about watching television all day, or gradually lose all sense of their individuality sitting in a cubicle their entire lives. They walked with shoulders tall, unwavering.

This movie example leads me to my next point: how hard it is to balance the demands of our "modern" world with the desire to live life wearing boots wanting to make a difference. My family has to be first and foremost, for what kind of a man would I be if I could coach a winning team, or get that great promotion, or win that Nobel Prize while my wife and kids are miserable, lonely, and into drugs or worse? I wouldn't be a real man, that's for sure. If a man can't take care of his own family, how can he expect to change the world? Men who think that they need to divorce their wife and break up their family because their ministry is more important or "holier," or who think the executive position half-way around the globe is what's best for their family, are mistaken at best, selfish and blind at worst.

Then how can I best make a difference; how can I use the loves I've been given by my Creator and keep my family first? Part of this answer falls into the "I don't know, but my Father does" category. But I know that part of the answer has to do with a funny fact about boots: did you know that they can be worn anywhere? At the mall, in a classroom, on a battlefield, in space, at a desk, or while pulling your son around in his wagon and holding your wife's hand.

The "boots" I'm talking about don't need to be worn at a certain time, on a certain day, for a certain career path. No, the boots I'm talking about can be worn by anyone, anytime, anywhere, as it's not so much a type of footwear but more like knowing that there is more to the world than the four cloud grey walls of your cubicle, more to life than this month's bills, more out there to enjoy than just a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Knowing that there is a purpose is just as important as knowing what that purpose is.

The End... but I'm sure I'll talk about this topic more in the coming days and weeks and years. There's lots of loose ends to clear up.

That Annoying Feeling: Cake, Boots, and Theology Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 06:01:00 +0000

More than two months. I remember writing my first entry on here and being so excited to finally be writing again, about stuff that fascinates me, and planning in my mind a "weekly topic" with a "question-and-answer" format. Four months and three posts later, all I have to say is dag-gummit this is hard.

But here goes my second try at starting fresh. I don't know what it is about writing about anything, something, everything, that just thrills me and gets my heart going and my mind a thinkin' up new ways to use as many apostrophes as possible'''''''.

It's not that I don't have time to write here; most nights after work when the house is quiet, I have a good couple of hours to read, watch television, sleep, or write, and I usually end up doing a mix of the first three and ignore the last one completely. That was a really long sentence to say: I have time but don't write.

But that's not the only reason. School was especially annoying this term, with some harder classes than before and some that I just didn't want to finish, but knew I needed to. My grades definitely won't reflect my best work, but they won't be anything to cry about either. Nevertheless, for about the last six months I have been struggling with school and the future and career and purpose and all the now cliche stuff that my generation frets about. Thankfully, I have been blessed by my Creator Father with a love for certain subjects (history and theology/ministry), and a love for school and learning and homework, so it's not as concerning a struggle for me as it for others. The real battle though, the part where I find myself pulling my hair, biting my nails, and pacing all around, is exactly how to put those loves to best use, in order to meet both eternal and earthly needs.

You see, it took me a long, long time and a lot of stupid decisions with a lot of pain as a result to discover a simple truth: I'm not the center of the universe. I thought I was, and I would treat others like filth even if they didn't know it because of it. I considered myself smart, talented, and all-around better, to the point that I didn't need anyone, and I made others suffer because of it. It wasn't too hard for the Father to show me how foolish and selfish I was being though; how does the old saying go, never judge someone until you've walked how far in what again? And never mind the over-used answer "...and then you're far away and can take their shoes!" Saying that just reveals how much farther you have left to walk. Slowly, and much later than I would've like, the Father was able to show me how powerful and mighty he is, especially compared to the little ol' homeschooled socially-retarded nerd that I was/am. He did this by finally opening my eyes to how my decisions and thoughts were hurting those around me.

I've never been the same since. I'll admit (and my wife will too) that I am not perfect at all, that I have a long way to go, that I can still be dumb and foolish and selfish ("Honey you're mean you never let me watch the Big Bang Theory!") But forgetting for just a moment about hilarious TV shows, it actually shows how far I've come. Years ago, I would've watched the show anyway, without asking what anyone else wanted to watch, no matter how bad their morning sickness was. I would've just turned it on, never given up the remote, and just done whatever the heck I wanted. Nothing like getting married and having kids to change your TV-watching habits. Well, that and realizing how dumb you are and how dumb you can be.

Time to start wrapping things up: I don't write enough, school was hard, I was dumb, I am a nerd for life. And here's my big point: these journeys, these bad decisions, these loves, I want to share them with others but I don't know how. That's one of the reasons I started writing here in the first place; it was a chance to talk and share and hopefully change someone's life, all while laughing and quoting Star Trek. But what's the next step, the next road, the next stretch on this particular journey? I've taken up 15 minutes of your time and dragged out for too long one too many jokes just to say this: I don't know what's next.

I do know this though: if I have learned nothing else from all my dumb homeschool days, Bible college days, young family man days, and nerdiness, it's that my Father knows what's next. The trial, the test, the battle that rages within me and all of us is deciding whether to trust Him during whatever storm is coming our way.

End Part 1

Copyright © 2008 . All Rights Reserved.

Those Over-Dramatic Spots

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 05:14:00 +0000

So I noticed the last time I wrote here was oh back in August, so I dragged myself onto the computer yet again to punch out a witty saying and inspiring quote. Trust me when I say that I will be making this writing thing a more, how shall I say, permanent activity. But I like sleep also, so this might not be terribly long. Read on and find out.

The title of today's post represents how I feel about all those dozens of political commercials (tv-spots, I believe is their official title) that have been plaguing our television sets for months and months. Just a couple minutes ago I saw another Obama ad with pictures of scared-looking elderly all sitting around with an authoritative voice saying how McCain will cut Medicare costs and how worried people are and how Obama doesn't support hurting the middle class. But this post isn't about the benefits or cons of one candidate's positions versus the other; frankly I've had enough of those over the preceding months, and that actually is my point.

When did the American political system become such an over-the-top commercialized electronic show of dazzling sights and sounds instead of the methodical, weighty, intellectual process that it used to be? I for one am done with the never-ending ads and news flashes about the latest personal attack and how one candidate has changed his position yet again. This is not to say that politics do not still fascinate me; I still am going to and always will vote, and I still want to teach politics and government someday soon. All that I am saying is that people have been running for president since- sheesh didn't Obama declare he was running back in February 2007? Since almost a full two years ago this has all been going on. Now, pretty much from the beginning I was active and involved, sorting through all the multitude of candidates running, researching and discovering who would be the best for our country and who would be the worst. After just a little bit of digging, I was able to make my first choice of who to support, quickly by who my second choice would be, then third, fourth and so on (there were a lot of folks running). Finally it came down to McCain and Obama, which is where we've been at since, what was it, this spring? Alls I'm saying is that I'm tired of it all.

I know and I have known for a long time who gets my vote, and all I want to do is cast my vote, see the results, then watch as this country either sinks or swims. In the end, I have that peace that surpasses all that so-called understanding of the politicians, and political pundits, and media, and socialists- er, I mean sociologists; everyone who lives and breathes politics just because they have nothing better to do, nothing more to look forward to. They can preach change all they want, and put country first all they want, but you see: that peace that I have, that surmounts anything this world has to offer, that peace tells me that no matter who wins, no matter who I vote for, there is Someone more mighty with mightier plans than even (gasp!) the president of the most powerful country in the history of the world.

I leave you with this quote:

Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried.
-Sir Winston Churchill

The Relentless Clock: Waiting and Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 05:27:00 +0000

A month after my previous (first) blog, I decided I should probably post more often than, say, every month. So here I am.

I've never been patient. I can't stand still, and it's not a nervous twitch or an itchy scratch, it's because it's hard for me to sit anywhere or do anything without actually, um, doing something. Scientists and psychologists call it some attention deficit disorder-thing, but I call it impatience. Especially when you come from having an entire summer off of school to relax and forget about school things, then start the next school year. I hate the feeling of having just finished something, then having to start over or realizing you technically weren't finished, but you've already celebrated the end and moved on. School is the number one thing that blows out the little candle that I like to call "my patience." When I stop and think that I have another three years before I finish just my bachelor's, I get mad. Mad at myself, for not starting school sooner after finishing high school a year early; mad for not starting community college a whole year sooner, when I could have; mad at having to pay to take the same classes I took in high school again (what, the first 3 math classes I took didn't count?!?). Really mad at a system and culture that places such a high level of importance on a degree, a title. It isn't necessarily the same thing as an education; you can earn any degree out there and still not really learn anything. But, when in Rome...

So, for my almost-conclusion, I'm not patient. It doesn't come naturally, or easy, nor do I find it fun. And it doesn't help that people can throw out those sayings like: "Good things come to those who wait," "Patience is a virtue," and "We'll get there when we get there!" You see, I don't want to have to wait, and I was reflecting on this earlier (which made me want to write it out), when I starting thinking of the Adam Sandler movie Click. It's one of my favorites, and one of the few of Sandler's that I love. He plays a character with a great family, great career, really has it all. But having it all isn't good enough all of a sudden. His family is demanding, he's overworked and can't reach that elusive promotion, and the dog has to be let out. So he comes across this fancy doo-dad remote control, something to "make his life a little easier." It allows him to rewind, fast-forward, pause, skip over anything. Almost instantly, life get's easier; he's able to skip the unpleasant family dinners with his parents, fast-forward through work projects, and the dog "goes" faster than ever. Life seems great.

But it isn't. Soon, the remote begins programming itself, fast-forwarding through the things that its user wanted to skip. Family fights, dinners, work, all goes by in the blink of an eye now. And when before he was just moving forward by a couple minutes or an hour or two, now he jumps ahead months and years. It gets to the point where he wakes up one morning, and he's divorced with his kids all grown up; he has gotten all the promotions without remembering doing any work; and his beloved dog has died, to be replaced with a traitorous impostor mutt. He was able to skip all the hard, tiresome, and mundane things in life, but ended up ruining everything, losing everything. The movie shows that those seemingly hard, tiresome, and mundane tasks we humans face on a day to day basis, are the very things that can make life worth living. Family fights can be vicious and brutal, but people aren't perfect, and couples that argue are at least communicating their feelings and thoughts instead of holding it in and drowning under the pressure of things unsaid. You can slave for hours and hours in a dead-end, stupid job while slowly rotting to death in your cubicle (if you're really lucky the company will lay you off before that happens) but sitting in a cubicle every day is better than hearing the hungry and cold cries of my family. And I can't count how many minutes and hours I've wasted sitting in traffic, or how many poopy diapers I've changed recently, but if that traffic is what I have to get through to work, and if those diapers are what I need to change to spend time with my son, so be it.

But my story doesn't end there. Even after watching that movie several times (and crying every time), I still didn't fully grasp its message. I'll admit there were times that I wanted to fast-forward through school and silly jobs to a finished degree with starting out on a great career. So I went through another couple years of being impatient, cursing at traffic, and loathing the school system.

Finally though, a breakthrough; finally, a light bulb clicked on somewhere, somehow. I was staying up extra extra late trying to finish my latest book, Gettin' There by Steve Farrar, when I came upon one of those sentences that you wish you had read years ago. Farrar was writing about impatience (surprise!) and one sentence on page 90 reads like this:

The problem with waiting is that when we wait, we think that nothing is happening.

That one sentence hit me hard. Hard enough for me to start walking excitedly around the bedroom at one in the morning and waking my wife up ("What're ya' doin'?" "Nothing, just reading honey, go back to sleep." "Whatever.")

I realized what my problem was; I always felt like nothing was getting done by taking the same classes over, working dead-end jobs, doing mundane chores, on and on and on. Oh but there is something going on, something amazing, miraculous, heart-stopping. We are being prepared. For what? For the next step, the next season, the next duty we are to perform and fulfill in this short life. Look at Moses, who grew up in the Egyptian royal palace, murdered someone, ran away, and wandered the desert for 40 years before God brought him back. Look at King David, who was anointed with oil by Samuel in preparation for the throne of all Israel but didn't actually sit on the throne until years later. They both had lessons to learn before, not after, they were supposed to lead entire nations.

So the next time you're stuck in class listening to another lecture on how 243 times 8.5 equals F, remember that this is preparation for the next class, the next degree. Next time you find yourself stuck in rush hour traffic, remember that you just worked your butt off to provide for your family and they can't wait for you to be home. Next time you get in a fight with your spouse (and you will, if you truly value honesty and communication), remember that they are an imperfect human being, just like you, who desires nothing more than acceptance and love, from someone they can share the class troubles, the traffic, and the poopy diapers with.

That's all the time we have for now folks. I really got going, thanks for sticking through till the end!

Next topic: Why No, You Actually Won't Use this Mathematical Equation in Any Real-Life Situation Whatsoever.

That Uneasy Silence: New Beginnings and New Adventures

noreply@blogger.com (Corbin Lee Foster) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:34:00 +0000

I don't know what it was exactly that pushed me over the edge to finally start writing here. Maybe it was the hints here and there from my wife, telling me that I should. Or the fact that if I'm going to be getting a degree in English, and hope to be a sort of writer some day. Or the urge to express what goes on in my head; you can only day-dream and wonder for a short while before you go insane and need an outlet for your thoughts and dreams. Maybe I'm bored, have too much time on my hands, and want to stay up as late as possible on a work night.

Except for that last reason, all of the above have had a small part to play in me finally writing something, anything. I've always enjoyed writing, enjoyed thinking through ideas and building them in words. For the longest time I wouldn't though, or couldn't, or figured I shouldn't. I'm not sure why exactly, but the desire, the longing, to write was there; the technology was there (Blogger.com is great!); and I had plenty of time. Yet I just couldn't make that first step, to finally start writing. For so long I've wanted to, yet didn't.

Well, now the time has come. The dam has broken, and I am not plugging it this time; I'm letting the waters come out. Sure, I might not write something each and every day, but at least I can tell myself that I've written at least one day's worth already, and with that, one more day will be no problem at all. So expect to see some more from me, whether it's something generic ("Work was good today") or funny ("I tripped and fell on my face") or thoughtful ("Why do we try so hard to control everything and everyone around us?"), whatever I end up writing I now know that I'll be able to write it out and share it with you.

Here's to the end of the silence, and the beginning of something, God willing, grand.

-Corbin L. Foster