The Thirty Year Tridea

The Daily Groined

2010-03-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Today I pulled my right groin. This might not have been so bad if I hadn't pulled the left side on Monday. Next week I'm hoping to pull each of my buttocks muscles.

I don't need to Kick my own Ass...Jillian does it for me!

2010-03-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

I promise the before picture is coming...I had problems downloading it from my camera....it will be here! I know you're all waiting with baited breath to see my saddlebags and muffintop!!

*****
Anyone who knows about the 30 Day Shred and has seen the ~~torture~~ exercise video knows that there is a point where Jillian ( because she almost never does all of the exercises with you) is showing you what you're supposed to be doing during butt kicks and says, "Natalie is literally kicking her own ass." Well, duh, they ARE called butt kicks.

I discovered yesterday, my first day back to the Shred, that clearly butt kicks are not going to be the only time that I'm kicking my own ass. For the first week or so of this, I can already tell, it's going to kick my ass BIGTIME!

Seriously, I clearly have not been pushing myself hard enough during my one week hiatus from the gym. All of those supposed butt clenches I've been doing while laying on the couch and ~~suffering through~~ enjoying primetime TV clearly have NOT been working. And chasing my kids around the house to try and get them to either go to bed or to STOP playing with one of their loud and obnoxious toys did not help my cardio output.

Today? Tired AND sore.

Jillian kicked my ass and I guess I should have expected it.

Now what?

Now, I lace up my sneakers and I push play again this evening and allow the torture to continue to riddle my body with pain and exhaustion.

I MEAN I lace up my sneakers and eagerly welcome Jillian and her two minions back into my home to get me in shape.

Also, this means I really have to get back to the place where I push myself beyond my limits. Because, well, right now I'm just not doing that. And it's obvious in all areas of my life and physical being.

I was looking at a picture of myself from this past Summer the other day. In the picture I'm coming out of the ocean waves and just walking regularly but it is clear that I have the body of an athlete. An athlete who has been working out and training- who has hips. I'm not so sure I have that body anymore. I have remnants of it but not even close to what it was- except for the hips. GAH I HATE MY HIPS!

Ideally, I'd like to be in better shape than I was in that picture. I'd like for my hips to be smaller and my legs more toned and my arms stronger. I'd like my abs to be a bit more fit and my jiggle to have a bit less wiggle.

All it takes is a little ass kicking.

Good thing I have Jillian....

Yelp!

2010-03-14T18:48:00.001-07:00

If you're like me, you love to eat out, but need to count calories to stay un-morbidly-obese. My hubbs and I are constantly looking for places to dine out that offer low-cal options.

So, if you're from the Central PA area, feel free to follow me on Yelp! I'm going to make sure to mention in my reviews if a restaurant has healthy options.

http://natt444.yelp.com

If you're not from the area, get on Estella to set up her Yelp!

:-) Natalie

The Power of Avocado and Other Reasons I'm Crazy

2010-03-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

* Pre- Shred Photo Goes Up Tonight!! Be Sure to Follow Us and Fan us on Facebook so you can watch the Shred progress!!!*

Sometimes, I really really question my sanity. Like seriously question how sane could I possibly be or actually, how crazy am I and why am I allowed to walk around with other seemingly "normal" people?

A few weeks ago when I signed my kids up for their swimming lessons I decided I wanted to take a class, too. I found a great one that I thought would really help me with my tri training. It was called Land and Sea class. You would spend 30 minutes in the pool, swimming, exercising, drilling, etc. Then there was 40 minutes of circuit training, cycling, cardio on land.

Not so bad, right?

Yeah, it was at 7:30am on Saturdays. But I decided if I wanted to really get myself ready I needed to push myself and 7:30 on a SAturday morning was definitely pushing myself. Especially since the first class was the day after a surprise party I threw for my husband's birthday!

Well, I kind of lucked out...the class was canceled. Apparently, I'm the only one who was crazy enough to sign up for a 70 minute class on a Saturday morning.

That class being canceled was one of the reasons that I felt like I needed to step it up a bit and decided to take on the 30 day Shred- again.

Well, last night the crazy crept in again and I made a decision to do something that really, maybe, I shouldn't have.

A second triathlon. BEFORE the one I've been training for.

I was having a conversation with a friend and we somehow went from talking about avocados and their power food status to me deciding that I was going to do a triathlon in July.

How do I do this?! AND WHY?!?!?

Luckily, this race has shorter legs than my August tri and I think it will be good practice for me. But, crap, sometimes I'm just so stupid. I let the excitement of the challenge take me away.

I just hope that excitement and challenge can carry me from now until July otherwise I'm going to need a lot more than the power of avocado to get me through.

We Meet Again, You Evil Evil Exercise Masochist!!

2010-03-09T06:03:00.000-08:00

About a year ago I was turned on to a new "fad" called Shredding. People were talking about Shredding for 30 days and seeing amazing results. They were talking about being tortured each night and in pain each morning. They were talking about pants fitting better and being able to kick a tiger's ass.

Ok, maybe not that last one.

But I was intrigued, to say the least. I started asking around and that is when the evil evil exercise masochist Jillian Michaels entered my life. Jillian and I would spend evenings and afternoons together- just brief bursts of time, 20 minutes or so. She'd torture me, I'd cry out in pain, curse her and then move on. And after some time it appeared that Jillian knew what she was doing.

And I was seeing results.

When Jillian and I first met I had lost the bulk of my weight and was looking for something to add on to my workout regime along with running. I hadn't yet joined the gym and I needed something more than just biking and running because those could eventually bore me to death. Who knew that Jillian might actually try to kill me with her lunges and jumping jacks.

I was a user though. I used Jillian just for what I needed her for and then tossed her aside. No concern for her feelings or needs. Really, I still don't care. But I miss the results. I also miss that lovely grinding sound my knees make when I walk- that was a special gift of Jillian's.

All of that being said, I have decided it's time to make amends with Jillian. It's time to move past the anger and hatred that I once harbored for her and her evil planks and bicycle crunches. With the impending triathlon I am finding it harder and harder to get myself in a place where I am working out consistently.

As so many of us are, I am busy. I have two kids, I work full time as a teacher and I coach two seasons a year (three if you count pee wee soccer), I am in grad school full time and I have a husband and a home to help maintain. It's a busy life we lead. Sometimes, sadly more often than not lately, working out takes a backseat to, well, everything. Jillian is 20 minutes and if I can get her in at least once a day with a run or a trip to the gym thrown in I'll be golden.

So, here it is. The 30 Day Shred. Either tonight or tomorrow I'll be bearing my soul- and my body- and posting a picture here for all to see. Yes, that's right- a picture. Nothing risque- maybe a pair of shorts and a tighter fitting tank top or possibly, but not likely, a sports bra. And for the next 30 days, come hell or high water, I will Shred. I will make amends with Jillian and we will argue and I'll end up losing the verbal argument but hopefully winning the physical one.

This is not my idea. This is not something I've come up with on my own- that's obvious by the title of the DVD. But truthfully, I really was inspired to bring the Shred back into my life by a blog called Shredheads. I encourage you to check it out! I'm hoping, with all my heart and sore big 'ol butt, that they'll link to us and share in the journey of the 30 day Shred as well as the Dirty Thirty Journey!!

So, follow along as I embark on another idea that I'm sure will cost me my sanity and cause me tons of pain, but as with anything hard, be totally worth it in the end!

*In no way was I paid for this post, nor is this a review. If you plan on doing the 30 Day Shred, I encourage you to make sure you are in good physical health and you are cleared by a doctor.*

It's YOUR turn...

2010-03-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

This is an all-call for comments.

Estella Getty and I often talk about our negative body/mind/stuff issues. We don't really talk that often about our GOOD body/mind/stuff things, do we?

But we should.

You know, I have thunder thighs. Seriously. My body is disproportionate. While I can get by (sometimes) buying a small shirt, I will never, ever be able to wear a small bottom. It's cuz of my massive thighs. BUT... my thighs are strong. I can kick like nobody's business. I think that's pretty darn cool.

So what about you? What are things you rag on yourself for that are really blessings? Tell us. We want to share in the beauty that is your body (or your brain!). I know that sounds creepy, but I didn't mean it to be...

Stay Tuned

2010-03-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

I promise a more substantial post is coming...in the meantime head over and check out Trainer Momma! She has great advice for the exerciser in all of us!

Plus she's got a giveaway going on!!

Impotent Impetus

2010-02-21T20:35:00.000-08:00

I've had a new wallet for about 1.5 months. But I should start earlier.

Back in December, we (the hubbs and I) realized that Matt should have a new wallet. So, when we were out Christmas shopping, we picked him up one. This of course made me realize I needed a new wallet. I'd had the same one for longer than Matt and I have been together (going on our 6th year). A new wallet became my mission. Everywhere I went, I looked for this wallet. I NEEDED A DARN NEW WALLET. My old one just wouldn't do anymore, you see.

Finally, at the very beginning of January, I found a great one. It was perfect. It was flashy, it matched my current purse, and it was on sale. I took it home, put it by my purse... and left it sit there for a couple weeks.

Then I moved it upstairs. I thought maybe I'd get the motivation to switch my cards to it if this change was something I could do in bed.

The wallet's still up there. It a great, beautiful wallet. It's in much better shape than my old one. I just haven't gotten around to taking five minutes to switch my change and cards over to it.

How many things in life are like that? We go through all these motions (and are usually RUSHING to get them done) to set up a change in our lives. Then, once we've gotten everything in place, something stops us. There's no good reason, we just stop. Our impetus is impotent.

Will I change my wallet over tonight? Nope. Will I get to it this week? I sure hope so. But I won't hold my breath.

What are your impotent impetuses? What thing(s) have you worked so hard to get started and then never actually started?

:-) Natalie

Off Topic Post

2010-02-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

This post is off topic, but since fellow bloggers (and therefore writers) follow us, I thought I'd post this. It's a great retreat!

9th Annual Seton Hill WPF Writer's Retreat and Conference

WHEN: June 24 - 27, 2010

GUEST SPEAKERS:

Jim McCarthy, Agent, Dystel & Goderich Literary Management

Janet Reid, Agent, FinePrint Literary Management

Annette Rogers, Acquisitions Editor, Poisoned Pen Press

Tina Trevaskis, Director of Marketing & Sales, Samhain Publishing Co.

This event is open to the public. Registration opens on March 1, 2010.

Things I Hate

2010-02-11T18:39:00.000-08:00

Estella Getty's last (2) post(s) inspired me to add my two cents.

Now, please note, this is a little different. I don't go to a "gym." You know what I mean, those big exercise puppy mills. I workout at the dojo and at my school's fitness room (which is usually pretty dead). This will soon change, as I have to get a membership at the local college so I have a pool to use. Until that time, all the things I hate are inspired by where I workout right now.

Things I Hate

Women who wear makeup to workout. I understand if you're coming right from work. I don't understand if you've clearly applied makeup just to go to the gym. Real women don't wear makeup to workout.
Women who don't tie their hair back to workout. Of course this doesn't apply to short-haired women. If you have your hair down and it's not sweaty, you're not really working out. If you have your hair down and it's sweaty, why the heck isn't it pulled back?! Real women don't leave their hair down to exercise.
People who change the radio/tv station without asking. Just because I'm working out much more intensely than you doesn't mean I'm not keeping my sanity by listening to the song/the channel that's on. If you mess with that stuff, you mess with my rhythm. Real exercises are polite to others.
People who tell you how to do something but clearly aren't doing it right themselves. Don't tell me how to hook or jab or squat when you obviously can't tell your left from your right. If we're in a class, I expect expertise from the instructor, not overconfident Joe Schmoe. Real athletes aren't arrogant.

Okay, I'm going to end it at four. It's Valentine's weekend, I should be spreading love, not grumpiness!

:-)
Natalie

Addendum to The Gym

2010-02-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

I had to add these because, well, I just had to....

* When you get to the gym and realize that you've put your t-shirt on backwards because you were running out the door while throwing on your sports bra, don't be afraid to turn your shirt around while you go full speed on the elliptical. No one will notice. I hope.

* When the man at the Wal-Mart, on your way to the gym, tells you that you're crazy for wearing short pants and a t-shirt out in this kind weather, do not respond out loud with "yeah but at least I'm not fat and bald". It's not nice.

* Do everything in your power to NOT focus on the 60+ overweight gentleman on the treadmill in front of you who is clearly wearing a bathing suit and too small sweatshirt. Because if you focus on him all you're going to see is his giant ass crack that pops out- and stays out- each time he bends over to fiddle with one of the nine pairs of headphones he brought with him.

* Note to self: No beans before treadmill workouts. Oh, hell, no beans before ANY workout!!

Addendum over. For now.

The Gym

2010-02-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

I write this as I prepare to head to the gym.

I've been home all day- except for the foray into the pediatrician's office- with my sick child. And let me tell you, my excursion out was not all that fabulous considering my son puked in the exam room of the doctor's office. All of that being said, in between cleaning up puke this morning around 2:30 and then again around 4 and then again around 6 and, of course, at the doctor's office and almost at shop rite, I ate slightly sensibly with a few non-sensible moments thrown in.

Those non-sensible moments were courtesy of these little mongrels. Go ahead, check them out and tell me that you don't want to eat 4 million of them. Because I'm just going to tell you that you're a liar. A DAMNED LIAR!! They sit on my dining room table currently calling my name in a horrible seductive and evil way. And they shouldn't be there. They were meant for the Superbowl party (GEAUX SAINTS!!) we were supposed to attend but had to cancel because everyone attending the party was sick. The plan was to take them to work. I didn't go to work. So, the little delicious bastards jumped down my gullet all day!

And that's part of the reason I'm only now heading to the gym. And all of that up there, those beginning words, have little to nothing to do with the intention of my post. But the gym is involved, so I figured you wouldn't mind being introduced my current nemesis.

And now for our regularly scheduled "programming".

Random Gym Realizations Of Late:

* Watching Jeopardy while on the Elliptical is NOT a good idea. People laugh at you when you yell out the answers- the incorrect answers- in the middle of a crowded exercise room!
* The gym closes at 5 on Sundays- NOT 6. No matter how much you avoid eye contact with the last gym worker left, who is turning off all of the treadmills, he will NOT let you stay past 5pm.
* Leaving your machine on pause with your iPod, glasses and water bottle sitting there apparently makes no difference and people WILL take your machine- and your stuff. Unless you chase them down.
* Bumping up your stationary bike seat one number because you think it will make your legs work harder and therefore make them look better will not work. It will only serve to make your crotch hurt with an uncomfortable intensity.
* Asking the gym attendant to change ONE of the TVs from FoxNews to FoodTV or HGTV or any non-conservative news station WILL get you nasty stares from all of the old, fat guys on the recumbent bikes. And that one woman on the AMT who has been staring at you and your SAVE DARFUR shirt.
* Expecting there to be something on the TVs other than Pre-Game Superbowl coverage and FoxNews on Superbowl Sunday is just ridiculous and will only serve to remind you that you are quite possibly the only liberal living in a conservative county and town. Good thing you love Football and Shannon Sharpe's suits!
* The individuals at the gym at 5am during the week are interesting people who have no idea how to match colors.
* The individuals at the gym at 4pm during the week are sweaty people who are still sticking to their New Year's resolutions and have no idea how to match colors. Or that certain pants and shirts are a few sizes too small for them.

Those are my realizations for now. I can only imagine what I will encounter while I'm there tonight. I've been there at opening. Tonight, I'll be there at closing.

The experiences I'm having during this journey are fascinating studies in the human condition and if nothing else, I'm gaining a whole heaping wealth of knowledge and some cavities, too!

The Final Countdown

2010-02-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty upset at the response rate for the Bondi Bands. I KNOW we have more readers than what has responded. Maybe our readers are just not exercise people!

I'm keeping the giveaway open a few more days in the hopes that more people will reply!

SPREAD. THE. WORD.

*****
So, in case you missed it I am now 30. (GASP).

And now it begins. What should have begun awhile ago must now REALLY begin.

It's the final countdown. Remember that song? Am I really that old?!

Yeah, so the gods (the ones I tell my Theology students NOT to believe in because they are Pagan) didn't smile upon me. I really turned 30. And I'm really not 100% ok with it yet. At all. I do feel different. I absolutely feel like I woke up on Friday and things had changed. I feel strange when I put in my age on the elliptical machine and it's 30, not 29.

I just feel different.

And old.

And yes, I am FULLY aware that 30 is NOT old. But I feel it.

And I refuse to allow that feeling complete depress me. Since it already has done it quite a bit, I need to get myself out of the rut. Our of the mild depression I've been living with for awhile now. And what better way to do that than to step things up a bit.

I have a few big things to get ready for and if I don't get my ass in gear, I'm not going anywhere or doing anything.

March 13th will be my first race of the season. I am not even close to ready for it. I had to stop racing as per doctor's orders last year and I've decided to jump back into it and see how it goes. March 13th could be pretty cold. And snowy. And, well, um, cold.

June 13th I have every intention of participating in the George Washington Bridge Challenge. It's uphill...a lot uphill. It's hot. It's a hard race but worth it because it raises money for cancer and it's an awesome view off the GWB!

And then there is the big one...the whole purpose of this site. The Philadelphia Woman's Triathlon. August 1st. And I refuse to look like a fool in that competition.

I've got some things on the horizon and I'm not doing enough to prepare for them because, well, I've been lazy and I've allowed turning 30 to rule my life.

And now, it's the final countdown. (Are you singing the song yet?)

I do the basics. I do my 40 to 60 minutes of cardio at least 3 times a week. I try to strength train at least 2 times a week. I occasionally eat well. But not well enough. Doing the basics is NOT going to cut it!

So it's step up time.

From here on out I am making myself take pride in my age and who I am. I am forcing myself to get in the groove and push myself to the limit. I didn't take on this challenge just to go through it half assed.

So, now, it's the final countdown to the big things to come. And now begins the push.

The push beyond the depression I've self-imposed.

The push beyond the basics I've been doing that really aren't getting me anywhere.

The beyond my comfort zone and into something new.

I'm in my Dirty Thirties and I have every intentions of making them memorable.

Ain't Nothin' But a Number and a Giveaway!

2010-01-28T07:45:00.000-08:00

If you stick around through the end of this post you'll find out about our very first giveaway! Or I guess you could just scroll down and find out about it.....but you wouldn't do that....would you?

*****

I think I'm abandoning my scale. Seriously.

I've been back on Weight Watchers for about two weeks now and while I'm not "religious" about it, I am pretty good about it. At the same time that I started back to WW I started strength training three times a week with a friend who is a personal trainer. And she's a freaking psycho when it comes to pushing me. No, seriously, crazy. But totally worth it.

I do believe these two efforts to get healthy, lose weight and get ready for August, are working against one another.

My clothes are looser but my scale is telling me I weight a bit more.

Um, ok.

I turn 30 tomorrow. (Pause...breath in, breath out).

Everyone tells me that age is just a number. Right now, I don't really feel that way. Right now, on the eve of moving out of my youthful, sometimes crappy, sometimes wonderful 20s, I do not feel like age is just a number.

When I climbed on my scale this morning and saw the number that popped up I really had to stop myself from getting angry and upset. I'm beginning to wonder if, to some degree, weight is just a number, too. Although, this morning it was really hard for me to believe that. Until I got dressed for work and the waistband on my pants was loose and I had to keep pulling my pants up when walking.

So, I'm thinking in these months as I ready my old and beaten body- courtesy of my 20s- for a triathlon that maybe, just maybe I need to abandon my scale and worry more about how I feel and how my clothes feel rather than what my scale says.

After all, age is just a number why can't weight be, too?

*****
Here's what you've been waiting for!!
We're having our FIRST giveaway for our wonderful readers!!

A few weeks back I bragged about how much I just LOVE Bondi Bands. Well, now is your chance to own your very own Bondi Band!!

Here are the rules:

Head on over to the Bondi Band website by clicking on any of the Bondi Band links and take a look at their bands for Chicks.

* Refer a friend to the Dirty Thirty Tridea
* Let us know how you found us with a comment on this post
* Tell us in your comment which Bondi Band you like the best and what exercise you would do while wearing it!!

As an added bonus be sure to Fan us on Facebook and Share this post with all your Twitter friends!!

The winner of the giveaway will be notified by February 7th!!

TELL YOUR FRIENDS and WIN A BONDI BAND!!

Things I Love (That Make Working Out/Being Healthy Easier)

2010-01-17T18:23:00.001-08:00

Here's a quicky list of some things I love. Things that make eating right (which I hate doing) and working out (which I hate doing) almost tolerable!

Things That Help Me Stick to My Eating Lifestyle (it's an eating lifestyle, not a diet)

Jell-o Sugar Free Pudding Cups. The Activia type are the best. These are only 60 calories, but still give you that dessert fix.
Yoplait Light. You've GOT to try the pomegranate/blackberry flavor. It's 100 calories of heaven in a cup.
All-Bran Original. I take a whole cup (160 calories), add a cup of almond milk (40-60 calories, depending on which kind you get) and top with sliced strawberries (I just keep a bag of the frozen, sliced variety thawing in the fridge). It's a quick, filling breakfast for my work week. It's great for my digestive system, too.
Arnold Sandwich Thins. My friend Mary Kate first turned me on to these. They're even better than a roll, seriously, and only 100 calories! Matt (my husband) discovered that these make great grilled cheese sandwiches, too.
Snickers Marathon Nutrition Bars. In general I stay away from anything that promises energy or power or performance. These nutrition bars, though, are what I eat before my heavy workout nights (2 hours of intense exercise). I can't stomach exercising on food, and I get super hungry if I don't eat. These bars solved that problem. They keep me satisfied and don't make me vomit. Oh, and they're only 150 calories.
Fiber One Bars. These things are the shiznet! LOVE THEM! Matt and I probably go through 1-2 boxes of the oats and peanut butter variety a week. They're a great snack to keep you full. They clock in at 150 calories.
Birds Eye Steamfresh Vegetables. Matt and I've tried a lot of the steamed vegetable varieties, and this is the brand we like best. We split a bag every night with our dinner. It's great for when you're cooking for two. Though it has four servings in it, when we split it, we can go as low as 60 calories each for the broccoli (and I like their broccoli because it's not full of the stems!). Our favorite is mixed vegetables , though, and that is 120 calories for half. Just be sure to avoid the kind that has sauce added to it.
Musselman's Lite Applesauce. 50 calories for a cup of yummy applesauce. Plus, it's sweetened with Splenda.
Gum. I've heard sugar-free gum makes you gassy. At least it cures the munchies.
Calorie King. This is by far the best calorie-counting site out there. I don't have to use it that much anymore because I've memorized most of the numbers I need. However, when it doubt, Calorie King it!

Things That Make Exercising Tolerable

Lebanon Isshinryu Karate. It's easier for me to workout -- and workout hard -- when I do it here. Plus, it's introduced me to some great butt-kicking ladies (and guys, too).
My Husband. But you can't have him, so moving along...
My Philips iPod Case and Armband. When mixed with downloads from iTunes U (where I get all my writing-related research), I feel like I'm killing two birds with one stone.

Soul Food

2010-01-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

It's time to talk about food again because I don't think I did enough of that in the last post! I mean really most of the last post was about demons. Granted, they were food demons but demons nonetheless.

So, I'm sitting in the lunchroom today- I'm sorry, the teacher's dining room. Which resembles a dining room about as much as my spa themed bathroom resembles a spa. AKA: Not. At. All. And I'm eagerly awaiting my Lean Cuisine meal's microwave completion when one of the other teacher's announces what's for lunch today.

Nachos.

DAMMIT!

Now, I'm not big on cafeteria food but GAWD our nachos are freaking amazing! Seriously. Mouth wateringly amazing.

I knew that I had money in my back pocket. I knew that those nachos looked mighty tasty. And I knew that if I ate them, in all their nacho-y goodness, I'd have zero points left for the rest of the year.

I skipped the nachos but another teacher did not.

This teacher is someone who has used WW before but is not currently on it because they claim they only gain weight on WW.

Okey Dokey.

So, this teacher comes back from the lunch line with their HEAPING plate of nacho-y goodness and drifts past me as I shovel some type of pasta into my mouth. And as they go to sit at another table (praise Jesus because I would have attacked the plate and only left the crappy shredded lettuce) they said, "Maybe this will soothe my soul."

Well, now, the nachos are good but, hell, they aren't THAT good.

Another little piece of background info- next week is exam week and every teacher in the school is being pushed to the brink this week. Even those that never touch the drink are being tempted by it's "healing and soothing" powers.

So, yes, our souls are in need of a bit of soothing and comfort.

But I'm not so sure that food, or alcohol for that matter, can do that.

We all know how much I love love love food and want to have it's baby but the idea that it can comfort us or me might be at the root of a lot of problems.

Food as a coping mechanism is not so good.

Booze as a coping mechanism, also, not so good.

I love meatloaf with mashed potatoes, peas and brown gravy. Seriously. I. Love. It. When I eat that I feel good. I feel satisfied. I feel happy. It brings back good memories. And dammit, it tastes GREAT, especially when my mom makes it.

There are other meals like that for me, too. But never do they erase the problems that I'm having or soothe my soul in such a way that it's at peace.

Do I think this teacher really meant that the food was going to erase her problems and soothe the ills of her soul at that moment? I'm not so sure. But I do think that we spend a lot of time relying on food or booze or tons of other things to soothe us and solve our problems. And really, we're the only ones who can take care of that.

Well, us and a piece of cake- white cake with white frosting. (White food has no calories)

Food Demons

2010-01-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

One of the struggles that I have is food. I would think that would be painfully obvious but maybe it's not.

Seriously, though, I LOVE food. I love it so much that I have been known to eat enough to create my own food baby.

This is a problem.

I wish that I could say that I love all foods and most especially fruits and vegetables but if I said that I'd be a liar and as I chastised my own students for being liars this past week, I cannot tell a lie.

Vegetables are not my favorite food and neither are fruits.

I can't even pick a favorite food because I really do enjoy a lot of different things.

This makes exercise and training that much more important and that much more difficult.

It is a constant battle in my head, as my feed thud along the treadmill or street, to push myself beyond working off the food calories. I am constantly telling myself if I do five or ten extra minutes I can have that small candy bar or those cookies with the little boy on them. (You know the ones I'm talking about....google them and then try them but don't blame me when you become a little boy cookie addict!!)

Personally, I think this is a problem.

One of the major demons that I've had to battle in my effort to lose weight and get healthy is my desire to eat. And to eat whenever and wherever. Seriously. I'm not to the point where I cannot control my intake because if that were the case I would be morbidly obese and suffer from some major food and emotional issues. There are times when I lose control. There are times when the types of food and the whole "eyes bigger than my stomach" phenomenon takes over and I eat too much. But I still think that the bigger problem is that I'm allowing the food to control my actions.

I exercise so I can eat and drink. When I wear that on a Bondi Band (The do have them that say that) it's funny and it makes me laugh. But it's true. And I'm not sure that it's the best motivation for exercising.

But I also exercise to feel good and look good. It's not just about the food, but a lot of the time it is. And, again, I think that's a problem.

In my quest to complete this triathlon, and now a 5k on St. Patrick's Day weekend (I'm going to freeze my ass off!), I feel like I need to conquer demons that I otherwise wouldn't have to conquer. I could be content just exercising in order eat and drink and stay in my smaller size. But that's not enough anymore. I know I am capable of more it's just moving past the demon that is food.

I've found that my best weapon against food is Weight Watchers. Truly. When I am on Weight Watchers and I know that I can eat whatever I want, I just have to be willing to "suffer" the points consequences, I do really well. I eat healthy foods, and a lot of them, but I am also able to indulge a bit. And I find that I'm not exercising to eat because I'd lose weight whether I exercised or not. But my life cannot always be lived on Weight Watchers.

Right now, it is.

I used Weight Watchers, coupled with exercise, to lose 40lbs last year. I've put back about 10- at the most- and now I want to lose about 30 more. Then I'm done. Once I can maintain, I'll be in place where the demons can't always get to me. Once I'm more comfortable in my skin and my clothes and with who I am, I won't allow the food to force me to exercise. I hope.

These next few months are not just about making sure I can survive a triathlon, they are about teaching me how to live the next 30, 60, 90 years of my life so that the food demons aren't in my head ALL of the time and I'm eating to live healthy rather than eating because it's all I can think about.

Become a Discipline Disciple!

2010-01-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

Before I start this post, let me just say a few things.

Happy New Year! May 2010 have you being a butt-kicker again!

Estella Getty is the only member of this blog not yet 30.

Just yesterday or the day before, I told Estella that I had had two blog ideas floating around for a while. This post is neither of those.

As I read Facebook status messages over the last week (yes, I am an addict), I read a LOT of posts about New Year's resolutions. I could not help mentally betting on whose resolutions wouldn't last the month, let alone the week (or even day!).

Since I began losing my weight and kept it off for the past 3.5 years, many people have said the following things to me:

You're so disciplined!

I'm so impressed by how disciplined you are!

It must be so hard to be so disciplined!

I could never be so disciplined!

I always found this funny (not in the ha ha way) because being disciplined is not hard at all. It's not hard because I (or you) am the only one who's responsible for it. No one else can affect it. The only factor in being disciplined is my (or your) mind.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying being disciplined is fun, but there's a huge difference between something that's easy and something that's fun. Having discipline is easy.

All I had to do was make up my mind to do something, and I did it.

Way back when, I decided that I was going to exercise three times a week. Sure, sometimes I wanted to nap instead of exercise, but I told myself I was supposed to do it, and I did it.

Then I decided that I was going to eat 1600 calories every weekday. Sure, sometimes I wanted to bury my head in a pie, but I told myself I was going to do it, and I did it.

Next I said that I was going to eat 1600 calories every day for 40 days. There was probably one or two days where I envied a cow their cud, but I had promised myself that I would do it, and I did it.

I said I'd exercise five times a week, I said I'd do this, I said I'd do that... All of it I accomplished because I said I would. Sure, sometimes I fail (like I told myself I'd only splurge 4 days over my long Christmas break -- oops!). But the reason I failed is because I never really wanted to succeed in the first place.

That's what it takes to have discipline. You have to want to have it. You have to commit to have it. And that's not hard at all. We all commit to things all the time (work, watching Top Chef every week, meeting the girls on Friday nights). We just punk out when those things aren't so fun, and then we blame it on our inability to have discipline.

If you've made a resolution you want to keep, acknowlege to yourself that you have the ability to accomplish it if you want to. Then ask yourself, do you really want to? Be honest and move on, either with or without that resolution.

I can tell you from experience that even though discipline isn't fun, the end result is. I still remember the time I went to a wedding and someone complimented me on my dress and said, "If I had a body like you..."

Now that was fun!

:-)Natalie

This is a picture from that wedding (and a pic of the hubbs, too!).

Bondi Bands are for Bangs!!!

2009-12-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

Now that Woflie has received her Christmas card and present I can tell you all about the Bondi Band and how I am completely in love with them!

A few weeks ago I read a review on Triing to be fit Mom about the Bondi Band and I HAD to have one. Trifitmom loved hers and I did some exploring on the Bondi Band site and decided to order myself two of them and two for Wofie, as a surprise.

I have these bangs that are a real pain when I'm running or working out. When I'm walking around and just have my hair down or up, they are wonderful. They add dimension and make my face look a lot less fat! But the workout time they get all plastered to my forehead and they get all nasty and gross.

I needed something to keep them out of my face and off my sweaty forehead!

The girls that I coach all use pre-wrap to keep their hair back. They use the stuff that the trainer wraps around their ankles and knees before taping them up. It's like gauze, or thinner than gauze, and truthfully it SUCKS. I cannot tell you how many times during a game they stop to fix the pre-wrap or they have to adjust it or they have to cut entirely new pieces because the piece that is in their hair has pretty much deteriorated. If only they cared as much about their foul shots and their passing, maybe we'd be having a winning season right now.

I used to use bobby pins to keep my hair back but I really don't care for them and they get left all over the house and the bathroom and my car and my desk at work. They're a nuisance and really they don't work all that great and they are FAR from fashionable!

So, I had been left with a quite the conundrum...HOW do I keep my hair back?!? And that's when I read all about Bondi Bands.

I waited- eagerly, checking my mailbox ever day- for my Bondi Bands. I had even contacted the company to let them know how excited I was to be receiving mine. I couldn't wait to use it!

When it arrived, I couldn't wait to get home to go to the gym.

I put on my "Run Like a Mother" band and headed out to the gym. At first, I thought I looked like a toolbox but that may not have been because of the band...could've just been me that day! I adjusted my band and set to work on the treadmill- the Satan's tool of torture for those of us who refuse to get pneumonia running the 20 degree weather.

Weeeeeellllll, my Bondi Band was, for lack of a better adjective, DA SHIT! Not only did it keep my hair out of my eyes, there was no sweat that dripped into my eyes and the hair on the top of my head did frizz out like it normally does. When I was done with my workout I was able to run errands without looking like I hadn't showered in weeks because the band was still on and actually kept me looking slightly ok, for someone who had just spent an hour at the gym.

I just received another for Christmas and I'm excited to expand into a hat or two! They have hats that have a hole for ponytails and while this may not be the newest idea, if they are half as good as the Bondi Band, I'm all over them!

*I was not paid for this review and I did not receive any type of compensation, monetarily or otherwise, for this review.*

Our First Training Pic

2009-12-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

Hi, all,

Just a quick stop-in to let you know that Stella and I met up this weekend to squeeze our first group training session in. We decided to play a little V-ball.

Happy holidays!

Images May Appear Larger Than They Really Are

2009-12-11T05:57:00.000-08:00

We've touched on the fact that I'm a weight loser. Since last January I've lost close to 40 pounds. I've put a few back on but I'm looking to lose about 20 more and then maintain. I'd be happy then.

Or would I?

I have a terrible body image. Seriously. And I'm not saying this so you all- you know the 3 of you who read this besides me- will comment and tell me what a fabulous body I have. Believe me, I am very proud of how far I've come since starting my weight loss and exercise journey. But that doesn't mean I am happy with how I look.

I love that I've dropped close to 3 or 4 sizes- although the cost of new clothes has been difficult to wrap my head around.

I enjoy that I tend to have more energy than before- although that does mean that my kids take advantage of it and make me run all over the place after them. (I secretly enjoy that even though I pretend I don't.)

It makes me happy that I feel like I can hold my head up a bit higher than before because my confidence is greater- although it is starting to make my neck and back hurt, standing up straight all the time.

All of that being said, I still have this image of myself as this terrible fat person. I still look at pictures of myself and think I look terribly fat and out of proportion. I look in store windows and mirrors and sometimes just can't stand how I look.

And really, that bothers me.

At my heaviest (non-pregnant) I was well into the 200s. Now, I'm really not even near that- the 200s, that is. And what's funny is that even at that weight I thought I looked ok. I look back now and there are times when I did look ok but I can see myself behind the weight. I can see the person I'm in the process of becoming behind the too fat face and the extra wide hips and the super jiggly arms- which I still have, DAMMIT!

I wasn't lacking self-confidence, I was just viewing myself as an image that was probably better than what it truly was. Now, I can't escape the physical images I have of myself from then. I still see the super heavy me when I walk down the street. I can't stop viewing myself as obese and gross. I cannot let go of my fat image and I cannot figure out why.

Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here- I am confident in who I am as a person. This is not a crisis of personality or character. I know who I am as an individual and I am proud of everything I've accomplished and done- weight loss and non-weight loss related. I love myself for the most part. I just don't always love the way I look.

I feel like I have more "fat" days than skinny days. I constantly feel like I weigh 300 pounds- even though I've never come close to that. I constantly feel like my clothes don't look good on me and I'm readjusting myself and what I'm wearing. It's daily that I wake up and change my clothes- especially my shirts- 9 times because I never think they look ok. I still hate my thighs and forget about my hips- I've considered taking a vacuum to them and performing my own liposuction.

Is my poor self-image so bad that it limits what I do and who I see? No, it's not. This summer I wore a bikini for the first time since I was 6 but truthfully, I was completely uncomfortable in it. My chest was too small, my stomach not firm enough and my thighs too jiggly. But no one noticed that except me.

I am too critical of myself and I need to stop that.

When I set out on this journey I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin. It's funny, in a lot of ways I feel like I've become more uncomfortable as I've lost weight. I've become more self-conscious as my body has taken on a more shapely form rather than the blob like form I felt I had before. I'm now at the point where I need to let go of the self-conscious and move more towards the self-accepting but actually doing that is much harder than saying it.

I don't worry about what other people think. But I worry too much about what I think and my thinking appears to be wrong.

I have a terrible body image and I'm not looking for a miracle to occur by completing this Triathlon but I am hoping that the journey I'm on will create in me an image that I can accept as real and true. I'm hoping that I can finally shed the pounds of fat that are really no longer on my body but are clearly occupying my mind.

Email Snippets

2009-12-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

This was the email I sent to Wolfie this morning:

"Ran for the first time yesterday and my legs actually detached themselves from my body and smacked me in the head while screaming, "What the hell is wrong with you!?!? WHY are you doing this to us?!?!?" It was awkward...especially with all the people in the gym watching."

And the training goes on.....

Virus

2009-12-06T16:04:00.000-08:00

Earlier I was thinking about how it had been a couple days since I posted anything on this blog. For the life of me, though, I couldn't think of one thing to talk about.

I decided I would look up some funny jokes about triathlons and post those, in order to get my quota in but not actually have to think about anything.

Using a search engine, I found a joke site that promised to give me super-funny things to post. I clicked on the link and... wait for it...

I got a virus.

Fortunately my hubby has our computer situation taken care of pretty well, and my virus checker caught it and eliminated it (knock on wood). Yet, I couldn't help wondering, is this a sign?

As some of you know, I have a persistent ab injury that scares me. One of the only things it prevents me from doing is running. Maybe you don't know this, but triathlons include running. Three miles of running. I can usually get a good 1/4 mile in before my ab starts being a (literal) pain in my side.

Is my ab the virus that will ruin this triathlon?

Texts of Fear

2009-12-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

Going along with Wolfie's last post I must go ahead and expand and give you examples.

While I am not afraid of getting lost, I am afraid of this event. Not afraid enough to NOT do it, but afraid enough to immediately send Wolfie a text message after I hit "pay for registration now".

Here is the resulting text message conversation that resulted on December 1st after we registered for the triathlon:

DISCLAIMER: FOUL WORDS THAT MAKE ME SOUND UNINTELLIGENT (as my mom and grandma would say) ARE CONTAINED IN THIS TEXT CONVERSATION. I HAVE EDITED THEM FOR YOUR EYES.

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
12:39pm
...And I am registered....Excuse while I go puke form the sudden onset of anxiety.

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
6:01pm
Done puking?

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
6:09 pm
Barely...Had to stop to get to practice for a few hours

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:00pm
I'm scared to register...Tell me I'll be okay.

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
11:00 pm (I'm a wicked fast text responder...plus I was laying on the couch watching pointless TV)
You'll totally be ok and if you're not we'll be together...Puking in the Schuylkill.

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:02 pm
If you abandon me I will hate you forever.

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
11:03 pm
And the same for me...I already registered and I hate to waste money unless it's on booze and loose men. (Good thing my husband doesn't read this blog!) ;)

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:17pm
Welp. I just shit myself.

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
11:18 pm
Have Fester clean you...Do a shot and keep moving forward...You're bringing back my anxiety...WE CAN DO THIS! Do you KNOW who we are?!?!?!
(Fester is what I currently call Wolfie's husband)

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:19 pm
We're naive girls who will end up drowning in the Schuylkill?

To: Wolfie
From: Estella
11:21 pm
A- not girls sadly....Hence the 30 year tridea
B- we won't drown....I know the doggy paddle and the bodies on the riverbed will keeps us afloat
C- WE ARE F&*%$ING AWESOME AND STRONG! THIS IS OUR TIME!

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:22 pm
Damn right sister! We'll probably win!

To: Wolfie
From:Estella
11:23 pm
Ok lets not lose our minds now...I'm happy with finishing on my own two feet or Vidas' back

To: Estella
From: Wolfie
11:43
Hahahah!

And that's where I went to bed.

This is big for us but it's not impossible.

This is scary. The idea of such a huge event and the physical strains that will be put on us can be overwhelming.

I truly believe that this will be our finest moment while also giving us plenty of laughs.

Especially if Wolfie really DOES get lost!

Scaredy Cat

2009-12-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

A triathlon is frightening. It really is. I can't deny that just thinking about it makes me a little queasy in my tummy. I have the feeling that Estella Getty feels the same way (earlier she texted me something about needing to puke...).

The odd thing is that I'm not scared of the physical features of the triathlon. I probably should be, but I'm not.

The following list (sorry, I'm not verbose enough for paragraphs tonight) is a brief list of some of the things that scare me about this triathlon:

Accidentally swallowing some of the Schuylkill River. Ewwwwwww.
Getting lost. At any time, during any leg. I have the worst sense of direction of any person you know.
Wearing a swimsuit in front of a thousand other women who are built like Dara Torres (see photo).
Putting on a swim cap in a timely fashion.
Getting severe butt burn from those stupid bike seats.
Not being able to gracefully grab a Gatorade on the trail...
Running into someone while on my bike.
Getting a severe wedgie.

These are just a few things I can think of in between creating projects for my kids' upcoming independent novel project. I'm sure many, many more fears are to come...
-Natt