The Thoughtful Gamers

Patriarchy and Critical Race Theory- Fact or Conspiracy?

2021-03-15T16:00:00.002-04:00

Western society being and always having been inherently and overtly patriarchal and critical race theory are both viewed as givens by much (perhaps most) of the modern left.
Neither one is nearly as confirmed (empirically speaking) as they believe them to be. Hence, it could be said that these are conspiracies. But to many, of not most, these ideas are likely taken as a given and as such would not be in consideration for questioning or viewing in the lens of conspiratorial thinking.

And if you "spit your coffee on your keyboard" at the idea that patriarchy theory as applied to western civilization is not an obvious, known fact, you too share this bias. We all have them of course so I don't mean this as a fault on your part.

Edit: I know the patriarchy one really gets people going because of how obviously true it is to so many people so let me just ask a few questions to show why I think the idea is not settled at all and definitely up for discussion:

1) During WWI, women were walking around America handing out white feathers to combat aged men/teenage boys as a way to shame them for being weak and wimpy as opposed to brave and courageous, sacrificing their lives for the homeland or whatever.

Now, during this time, black Americans were being lynched and white people were getting away with it en masse. Why? Because they actually were in an oppressive and dominant position. But the women, out damning the reputation and character of these dominant and oppressive men? Nothing happened to these women.

If these women were in a position similar to Black Americans, how could this disparity in outcome exist?

2) Alcohol was made illegal in the 1920s. The people who drank were primarily men. The prohibition movement was largely spearheaded by women. They won. How?

3) The idea of patriarchy is largely supported by the common reality of women "in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant" throughout most of American history. This is supposedly because men were dominating and oppressing them.

Well, what were the men doing all this time? Were they smoking cigars in nightclubs, banging go go dancers and making big business deals? Or were they largely suffering in mines, on railroads, on farms and running towards machine gun nests praying they don't get gunshot and slowly and agonizingly die in a foreign land?

Was it oppression of one over another or was it a division of labour based on the conditions of the time?

Streets of Rage 4 100 Yen achievement (Clear Arcade on Hard) tips

2020-05-19T17:51:00.000-04:00

First off, if you'r tempted to do this in co-op play you actually may want to do it solo. I actually found it much harder to do co-op. It seems harder to focus on positioning and enemy movements with two people on screen and I tend to play worse (more spammy and focusing on trying to rack up combos). I tried a few times with someone else but in the end I did it solo (took many attempts!). Also with co-op you have to worry about lag and disconnects (one time it happened on stage 6....total bummer).

Few tips for solo arcade play: Dont worry so much about combos. You want to survive and while you need points for extra lives you can't earn points if you're dead. Focus on staying alive and then hit those combos when the opportunities present themselves. Dont combo hunt. Also I found throws were super helpful as a crowd control mechanism and to get some iframes. If you have an enemy clinched from the front and an enemy is behind them and you know they are going to close in and attack wait until they are about to make contact and then vault over your enemy. As you jump to their back you are invulnerable.

I found my best success came with SOR1 Axel/Blaze btw. Pared down mechanics means positioning and fundamentals were the focus and their jab is rangey, powerful and can stun multiple people at once. Also Axel can knock back multiple enemies in a line with his clinch headbutt .

I'm nothing special at this game so if I was able to do this you can too. Just brace yourself for the possibility of having to try again.....and again......and again.....

Good luck!

The "strong woman" fetish on Netflix is reaching a point of insanity.

2019-06-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

I have a daughter who loves teen dramas and guess who gets sucked into watching them at least once a weekend? That's right= this guy (points to self). And what do all of these shows have in common? Well the same thing that has infected 'adult' programming as well- the "strong woman" archetype.

"But what's wrong with strong women? Why are you incels so obsessed with this? Is your masculinity threatened by a strong woman?"

Yes, sure if that makes you happy. Now for the rest of us non simple minded, non hive minded individuals, the problem is three pronged I'd say:

1) It's misleading as all hell. My daughter parrots this "women are as strong as men and can do anything" stuff but if there's a bee, spider or even a cobweb in the vicinity she runs screaming for Daddy. So is she going to grow up feeling inadequate because she is not living up to this ideal of the "strong badass woman?" Are they actually dis-empowering females in an attempt to empower them?

2) It could be dangerous. On one show she watches a teen girl is telling her teen friend (a male) about how she is being stalked by an older ex boyfriend. She tells him she is scared and not sure what to do or where this guy may show up. She finishes talking and the male friend (a much larger, stronger person) says "okay well I am going to walk you home, alright? In case he shows up."

She looks at him with this absolutely incredulous look and then he apologizes and she says "I'll walk you home." After fighting to keep from rolling my eyes out of my head I started wondering about this idea that perhaps some girls might buy so much into this idea that they may make reckless decisions as they get older that may potentially lead them into danger. I hope not but media does shape people's perceptions (especially females who are more hive minded).

3) It's just so fucking forced. I'm not watching organic characters and organic story lines- I'm seeing a political agenda being pushed through fictional media. Propaganda basically.

There is also of course the question "if strength, aggressiveness and power (aka base masculine characteristics) is so bad and something they are trying to "teach boys out of" why are they turning around and pushing these ideals on women?" but I suppose that's a topic for another day......

The mental health crisis and "boys will be boys."

2019-03-31T22:28:00.000-04:00

People say there's a current mental health crisis underway and if they think that but continue on doing what they are doing (or trying to implement seemingly helpful but actually destructive measures) it's only going to get worse. WAY worse. We've designed a square hole society and boys are the rounded pegs. "Boys will be boys" was reflective of a healthy understanding of the biological nature of males. But it's so heavily tied to "rape culture" and other such stuff now that the basic societal idea when it comes to boys is to "teach" them out of their biology. Which of course only serves to alienate and add to the mental health crisis that these same people are (ostensibly) so worried about.

I have a ten year old daughter and an eleven year old nephew and as far as the way they (and their friends/classmates) are treated/the messaging they receive/the expectations placed upon them/the opportunities they have they might as well be living in different worlds. The girls are flourishing and being supported at every turn while the boys seem lost and misunderstood.

It's fucking sad and the long term implications of this are frightening.

A Random Night: Married vs Divorced

2019-03-02T14:17:00.004-05:00

A random night when married: "Do you really have to play your drums again? You just played them last week!" "Ugh, fine, whatever. I'll be upstairs."

Fifteen minutes later: Basement door opens. Footsteps of doom coming down the stairs. "Are you going to be done soon? I'm trying to watch tv!"

Me: "I'm using the silencers I got there's no way it's that loud. We've already tested this."

"Ya but I can hear the tapping. It's annoying I'm trying to concentrate."

Me: "Use the headphones I bought you."

"Ugh, whatever."

Teenage girl esque storming back up the stairs.

I resume drumming. Having trouble concentrating now. Oh for fuck's sake. Head upstairs, drumming ruined now. What's she watching that's so important anyway? Oh wow some bullshit reality tv show. Surprise surprise.....

"What are you doing up here I thought you were playing drums?"

Me: "Can't concentrate anymore."

"You could have kept playing."

Me "......."

I'm gonna kill this bitch. Seriously, does she do this shit on purpose? (future me to past self: YES YOU DUMMY)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Random night now: Silencers? What silencers? Que up song I am learning (Slayer- Angel of Death). Load YouTube tutorial video for that one part that I cannot figure out on my own. Roll joint. Smoke joint in basement like a man (going outside and hiding like a criminal is for the birds and the married blokes). Sit down on drum throne (aptly named since I am the King of this bitch). Hit play. Rock the FUCK out.

Three hours later: That was fun as fuck. Now what should I do?

Goes skating in the backyard ice rink I made for daughter and I. Practices stickhandling and does sprints under the moonlight. Is at utter peace.

And guys want to get married? WHY?

I'm not MGTOW because I "hate women" and I'm not an incel. It's ALL about MINDSET/CLARITY

2019-02-16T02:45:00.000-05:00

I had an easy lay up present itself to me after several years of voluntary celibacy following a period of "going monk mode." This was a pretty, younger woman recently divorced and looking for a good time with no strings (allegedly.....we know how that always turns out). We "connected" and it was a natural, easy dynamic. She left me her number and email address on her way out (she was a patient of mine and yes we can date patients and no I am not a doctor but am in medical).

That entire day at work my mind was on her. It was a constant struggle to focus on my work and that has *not* been the case at all since I *went mgtow* several years prior. Thinking about her, me, projecting into the future, thinking about sex, maybe we'll both get remarried, maybe we'll date for a while, maybe we'll be fwb's, body looks good but how is it actually under the clothes since she's a bit over 30, what about me I have old man balls now, do I want to start spending money on dates and do I want to start having to go through the whole "game playing" process again, oh fuck do I have to start maintaining a "wardrobe" again, do I- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah......

A few hours of this and it hit me: THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I STOPPED TO BEGIN WITH! It's fucking *all consuming*. Just a *whiff* and I was already mentally checked out of my mission and now focused on her her her.......I threw away the card she left me, did not go to the dad/daughter yoga thing she invited me to (she teaches yoga.....god that flexibility would have been fu- see, there it goes again!) and got back to doing 'me.'

Never again. I'm staying celibate for the rest of my life- it's the best thing I have ever done. I've never been better mentally or physically and I don't want to throw away all of this progress/potential. It might be mental failing on my part and if so, so be it but either way relationships/sex just don;t figure into my mission any more.

I never get too wrapped up but this one is fucking with me. From reddit parenting:

2018-12-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

Check out this post on reddit parenting:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/a2w0c8/disturbing_messages_to_daughter/

TLDR A parent went through their 11 year old daughter's phone and are now talking about involving 'counselors' and school administrators because of messages from a boy (one year older than daughter) that consisted of silly/dumb/crude pickup lines involving body parts.

The comments all, and I mean ALL, support this idea and others actually go so far as to talk about involving the police and that this may constitute sexual harassment. I read this already knowing how most of modern society thinks but find myself lost, confused and raging at the lack of awareness of reality. So I (stupidly) decide to chime in.

I throw out the idea that at TWELVE he is just coming into puberty (which means raging hormones and new, confusing feelings) and that factored along with an undeveloped brain leads to clumsy shit like those crude pickup lines. I introduce the idea that he is just trying shit out and of COURSE it's going to be clumsy and ham fisted- he's TWELVE. I also ask if perhaps it was banter back and forth between the two and/or maybe a quote/in joke. I suggest that nothing really need be done and that the idea of involving 'counsellors' and ESPECIALLY the police is INSANE.

I foolishly thought maybe I'd talk some sense into these people. Nope. Downvote city.

I'm trying to forget it and move on (things are where they are; it's bigger than me and getting worked up only serves to make my mental state worse) but this one is really fucking with me. Lately I have been really thinking about how misunderstood boys are and how modern society is doing them a MAJOR disservice. Mental health crisis? It's only going to get worse. WAY worse. We've designed a square hole society and boys are the rounded pegs. "Boys will be boys" was reflective of a healthy understanding of the biological nature of males. But it's so heavily tied to "rape culture" and other such stuff now that the basic societal idea when it comes to boys is to "teach" them out of their biology. Which of course only serves to alienate and add to the mental health crisis that these same people are (ostensibly) so worried about.

I'm living in fucking crazyland and I can't stop thinking about it now. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. What a goddamn shame.

Just needed to vent (and hear from more sane people I guess).

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....But of course.

Minimalism Tips

2018-11-04T16:00:00.000-05:00

Some of these are embarrassing/will seem ridiculous but all is fair in love and minimalism!

-Keep house at 18 degrees (64.4F) year round

-Keep lights off as much as possible. Tv lights the living room (lol)

-If there are lighting fixtures that hold multiple bulbs, only use 1

-Anything and everything is done on the lowest setting if possible

-Device need charging? Gonna be at work later? Charge it there.

-(Get ready to laugh) Pee outside (backyard). Why waste water?

-Hiking shoes breaking? Duct tape bitch! No one is there anyway.

-Summer? AC? Nah! Cool house at night (open windows and have fans running) then shut blinds/close windows when sun starts rising. If house gets a fair bit of shade you can stay comfortable most of the day. Run fans, even one from basement pointing up the stairs to bring cooler basement air up.

-Like video games? Me too, a lot. Online rental sites and sales. Hardly ever buy new (last new game purchase was March 2017).

-Cable tv? Been like 6 years. Internet and Netflix does the job.

-Dish soap or liquid hand soap getting low? Add water, shake and presto! Full bottle again. Also works with cologne, shampoo, conditioner, eye glass cleaner, etc. Sure it's a bit degraded (not the right word but I am blanking at the moment) but it definitely extends your usage.

-Some jurisdictions have varying hydro prices. Find out if your area is one of them and if so try to do laundry, dishes, etc in those hours. Timers help with this if you're at work.

-Do you get a drink, finish drink, throw cup in sink then get a new cup for next drink? Silly goose, quick rinse then re-use! Also works for bowls and dishes and silverware.

-Treating yourself with some takeout? Cool, do that once every month or so myself. Get the big size (full dinner vs. half, for example) then set some aside for another meal. Two meals for a bit higher of a cost works out better than the slightly less expensive one that lasts one meal.

-Unless it's one of those scorching "fuck my life" days, if you're driving out in the summer windows down uses less energy than air conditioning. And if I do run the AC (or heat in winter- bundle up right though and u can avoid this) it's as low a setting as possible.

-Bring my lunch to work (well breakfast lunch and dinner all in one as I do intermittent fasting/one meal a day and work 12 hour shifts during which my eating window falls) and when I am done there is Tupperware to wash? Wash it at work, why waste water at home?

-Take vitamins or other supplements? I take the proper dose most of the time but every so often (once or twice a week) I'll either skip them or take a reduced dosage. Stretches them out more over the course of a year.

-Holes in clothes? Mend 'em. Wash clothes less often so they last longer.

-Run washing machine on cold water setting.

-If you use disposable razors/razor blades, once you are done shaving get the hair out, dry the blades perfectly then run them several times across your forearm(s) in the opposite direction that you would run them to actually shave (hope that makes sense). Do like 10-20 "backwards strokes" and this resets the alignment of the blades which gives you a few extra shaves with the same blade.

-If you use teeth whitening strips and you don't have giant ass horse teeth you can cut the strips in half and get double the use out of a box (you can also use them a lot longer than the recommended thirty minutes but TEST THIS CAREFULLY at first please. You may get tooth sensitivity (I do not and have worn them for upwards of four hours at a time). Please don't tell Crest et al this as I don't want them making them smaller to stop me from doing this ;)

-If you cook bacon you can save the grease and use it for cooking (saves you from using olive oil or whatever and it tastes awesome!).

-Sometimes you'll think you need a new pair of shoes when really all they need is a cleaning and maybe a polishing. If they aren't ripped to shit but just dull, try that first.

-Drive my car conservatively and keep up with maintenance. Use same car forever (I drive a 2003 that still runs great).

I'm sure there's more but that's all that comes to mind at the moment.

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon Boss Rush Mode Strategies

2018-10-26T09:20:00.000-04:00

Boss 1: Start with Miriam, walk towards him, and then jump towards him and get an attack in the air before you're close. From here, switch to Gebel and do a bunch of jump attacks as the stairs are approaching, you should be able to fit in about 4. Then, jump towards the stairs, and then do a jump without moving so the top step will land under you. From here, do three attacks, then move to the edge of the steps, do 3 more (or 4 if you're risky) and then get off the stairs. From here, run so you don't get hit by the short range fire blast. Then go back near him and keep jump attacking with Gebel. Now the fire rain will come, but just keep attacking until one falls just to the left of you. When this happens, go to where it hit the ground and wait for one to fall where you were standing. After this, just keep jump attacking and you'll win quickly.

Boss 2: Start with Miriam, walk under the middle icicle, and do a slide. This will put you in position to crouch attack many times, so do this until he starts his wind up to go across the screen. When this happens, just jump over it, dont think about getting on an icicle. From here, wait for the 3 blocks waves of 2 blocks each to pass, and then go right to avoid the boss. From here, get in the corner and turn into Gebel. When the boss comes out of her shell, face towards her, crouch, and attack with Gebel many times. The bubbles will come and you'll probably get hit once but it's fine because you did a lot of damage. From here, use Miriam and stay near the middle, using your long whip to jump and attack when you can. All of the bubbles should be gone when she stops, so you can switch to Gebel and kill her quick.

Boss 3: Use Miriam to get to the top of the gold pile and attack him 3 times, then switch to Gebel and get those short range stronger attacks in, and then switch back to Miriam to get more long range attacks in as it goes away. Be Miriam when the hands come, stand near the head, and dodge whichever way you need to because you'll be able to hit him either way when the wave carries you up. Then use Miriam to attack whichever enemies are in your way and repeat until he dies.

Boss 4: Bring the Ice Missile and the Magic Charm subweapons. Begin with Alfted and freeze the top head as soon as the fight starts. This should freeze both heads, so switch to Zangetsu and break the ice on the bottom head with the magic charm, and then slice as much as you can before you have to dodge his bite. Once you dodge the bite, switch to Alfred and refreeze the top head because it should be blinking because it's going to wear off soon. Once you do this, switch back to Zangetsu and finish off the bottom head with another Magic Charm and more slashes. When the bottom head dies, touch the right wall with Gebel and jump attack over and over again to kill the top head with no problems. Then wait on the right platform floating in the air on the far right block for the boss to come back in his second form with Zangetsu. When he is done roaring, throw another magic charm and attack him 3 or 4 times before jumping off the platform to the right. When you are on the lower part, duck and switch to Miriam so that when you jump back after the fire blast it's easier to make it back. When you are back, do another Magic Charm and more slashes and he should die quickly. It may take another round I forget but yeah.

Boss 5: Enter as Gebel and jump attack whenever he flies across the screen to get damage in. Destroy the lightning things when they hit the ground. If he's on the left, be Miriam and slide under the wind to get close and do attacks, and when the wind is gone switch back to Gebel. If he is on the right, then as Gebel get far to the left, jump over him when he comes, and move farther to the right. He will land in front of you and you'll be able to do a bunch of damage without worrying of running into him.
Boss 6: Just bring the lightning and spam it with Alfred and she'll die super fast. Then get to the edge of the screen you can safely get to and just get hit by the suicide blast. If you have full health with Alfred, he'll still live and he's barely out anyway so it's fine lol. I mean you can try dodging it but yeah. If you're trying to go hitless or whatever, you can bring the bat powerup with Gebel and dash attack with the bat through it to dodge it easily, but you won't have enough magic if you use the lightning as I described. An alternate way is to stand on the middle umbrella and use Gebel to attack from there and it shouldn't be too hard. I'd go into more detail there but the lightning just works too perfectly.

Boss 7: Bring the Axe subweapon. Enter with Miriam and get on the blue book platform closest to him. From here, switch to Zangetsu and duck slash until he gets on the wall. From here, get on the far right platform, switch to Miriam, and use the Axe 3 times before getting on whatever platform you need to get on. If it's a close one, you can do another Axe. Jump off with Miriam when he stops dashing around, and duck attack with her long whip. From here, repeat the process and as you're slashing with Zangetsu he should die.

Boss 8: Bring the Demon Essence, Fire Shield, and the three upward knives. Jump attack with Gebel on the first phase until he stops having his hands in whatever position. If they aren't both in the air, switch to Alfred, use the fire sheild quickly, and then switch to Zangetsu. If they are both in the air, then you don't need to use the fire sheild yet but you can if you want to. Move from your current position because he's going to land there, and then use demon essence and attack him a bunch of times. After one more round of this, he should die and it's on to the second phase. Go in the corner and use the upward knives, from the floor, and 2 of them should hit him each time. If you get the yellow moon attack, wait under the boss's feet with Zangetsu and simply jump slash the moons that stop on either side of you. If you get the pink moon attack, get to the left side, switch to Miriam, and jump over them when they come towards you. There may be a way to attack them instead but I don't know it yet. When the spears come, just jump attack with Miriam on the higher platform. Make sure you hit only one eye near the floor as soon as it appears and get on the platform before you get hit. Switch to Miriam when he does his super move to make jumping over the blue things easier, and then get to the edge as soon as that's over to dodge the big red moon. The fight should be over in four or five cycles or something like that.

"If marijuana is so good for you why does it make you cough?"

2018-10-14T22:37:00.000-04:00

If marijuana is so good for you why does it make you cough?

This is a question I was asked and in fairness, on the face of it it seems a reasonable one. However, it is very misguided. Coughing isn't necessarily indicative of marijuana being unhealthy. Coughing is just a bodily response to your airway being irritated.

Irritated, you say? Well, see it's bad for you. You just said it's irritating to the airway!

Irritation is in no way a reliable indicator of something being unhealthy. Spicy foods can cause tremendous pain and irritation while being eaten but time and again science has proven spicy foods to offer a wide range of health benefits. Stretching your muscles, lifting weights, running until your body feels like it's on fire or receiving a deep tissue massage are painful and/or irritating to the body while also being extremely good for you. Marijuana is much the same.

Of course, everything has negatives attached and everything can be done too much but moderate, intelligent use of marijuana is at worst a benign undertaking and at best a very positive one with a myriad number of health benefits (both mental and physical health).

In Defense Of 'Crazy' Stay At Home Moms

2018-09-25T08:20:00.000-04:00

We all know the trope of the 'crazy' suburban mom; you know, the one who screams at her kids and husband all day despite being medicated to the gills with pharmacological agents and vodka coolers and while I have done my share of sneering at them to myself and others (shitty behaviour around kids is hard not to sneer at) I have been thinking a lot about these women and what might be at the root of the problem and I think that "they're just crazy" isn't fair and what really may be going on is totally not their fault but actually the fault of the way we engineered post-industrialization/post-agricultural societies.

If you travel back in time to say 50,000 years ago, what was the life of a mother like? Were they alone, separated into individual houses, or together as a community, dealing with everyone's' kids all at once?

It was the latter.

Assuming we all agree on this point, (and how can't we; I'm always right after all, right C-man? fuma!) what can we take from this? Well, it logically follows that evolving to raise kids in a community would lead women of future generations to basically needing said communities for support and ultimately, optimal mental health. So, separating into houses all along a street and living in their own little worlds with their kids and hubbies (when home from work) could possibly be setting them up for failure. Living contrary to ones' nature is a recipe for mental illness, right?

If we think about the nature of women, are they more oriented towards being solitary or in groups? I think we all know the answer. They are definitely wired towards being hive minded. Men are generally the more solitary creatures. So, in the interest of fairness here, is it really any wonder that once they are separated into individual homes alone with their kid(s) all day that they go "crazy?" They are living without the social support networks they evolved to need!

I always think/talk about how the way this culture is engineered is really bad for men, but I am starting to consider the possibility that it's bad for women as well. It's bad for all of us, I think. One day I'll stop being so lazy and really dig into this idea and post a detailed, cogent, thought out piece about it. I really think there's a lot about the way we are living that we need to rethink. I'm just so lazy.....damn culture's fault!

Travel Back in Time and SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF

2018-09-20T09:13:00.000-04:00

This is a snippet of a "love letter" (blargh) I wrote for an ex girlfriend years back. It's.....I mean.....Jesus Christ. See for yourself:

It is an impoverished existence, one that is without you in it, and I must now redouble my energies and refocus so that I may live this new leg of the journey that is my life to its absolute fullest capacity, in perhaps a vain but surely blissful endeavour to make up for the dark half of this, mine imperfect and tumultuous life. I look forward to an illuminated, enlightened, and surely more rewarding second half.

May your love ever shine brightly down upon me, and may it always light my way.

Someone needs to invent a time machine so literally everyone on Earth can travel back to the moment I started to write that letter and SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

Disgusting.

Is All Offense Equal?

2018-07-27T10:24:00.000-04:00

If one person is offended by something another person does and asks them to stop doing it but the second person says they are offended by the first person's attempt to control them is the second person's offense as legitimate as the first person's?

I have been thinking about this intermittently for over a year as it happened to me at work with a former coworker- she interrupted a conversation I was having to ask that I stop swearing (she was of the Muslim faith and very conservative) as it offended her. I was mixed on this as on the one hand it's not a big deal to try and reign it in a bit if it makes her more comfortable but on the other hand now I have someone trying to control my language- even when I am talking to someone else.

I ruminated on this for a while and then I asked her "If my swearing offends you it is right for me to stop it, yes?" She agreed and then I asked her "Okay now say I am offended at your attempt to control my speech- should you now respect my offense and stop trying to control what I say?" Her answer, which pops into my mind every once in a while and gets me thinking about this again was.....*interesting.* She simply said "No, it's not the same thing."

Hmmmm......

So I ask you: Is all offense equal or are there levels of offense? A secondary question I guess would be is being offended the fault of a third party or a function of your own psychology and therefore cannot be pinned on someone else?

Common Parenting Mistake I See Everywhere

2018-07-09T15:46:00.000-04:00

Taking a child expressing (clumsily; they're learning) their emotional reaction to something you say/do as "attitude" or "talking back," getting upset about it (ego) and then coming down overly hard (only making things worse).

For example, you tell your five year old that they need to finish their dinner before they can watch TV. They respond by telling you that you're "mean." You then get angry and come down on them (*how dare you speak to me that way* type of response, often followed by a threat or punishment).

A better response would be taking the time to explain your rationale for making them eat first before TV.

Kids need to know there's a beneficial reason for us stopping them from doing things otherwise they take it as nothing but authoritarian dominance and that sort of perceived dynamic never ends well.

I know we're often frustrated or tired and no one is perfect but trying to minimize this sort of thing is better for both parties in both the short and long term.

"Why won't he open up to me? I just want him to share his emotions and thoughts."

2018-05-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

The cultural narrative regarding this of course being that women are empathetic and men are trained to be cold and un-emotional and if only they would open up they would realize the women who love them would be there for them in an unbelievably satisfying way and their mental health (and relationships) would improve.

So simple, so obvious and so correct. Right?

Wrong.

They might not realize it but their biological imperative is to test for weakness/vulnerability (it all boils down to child rearing, resource acquisition and protection) and they can't do this if the guy is holding back. Will he be strong, dependable and successful? Will he protect her and the children as well as provide for them? She isn't sure and so something feels "off" to her. What this culture seems to have forgotten/wanted to deny as of late is how much our biology controls us.

Guys, she isn't saying this because she cares and wants to help (she may believe this.....or not). It's so that she can more accurately screen you as a mate/potential father.

Why Advertising is Anti Male

2018-05-12T14:33:00.002-04:00

It's because, despite all of the pro-female messaging in today's culture, women (deep down) still feel inferior to men. The advertiser's role here is to make women feel good about themselves, so that they think that good feeling comes from the product, when in fact it's because they witnessed women getting one over on their superiors. It wouldn't work with men because we don't see ourselves as inferior to women, so if men were hitting women, or women were clumsily falling around, that wouldn't make men feel good, it would just be awkward. Men love women, women hate men, and advertisers know this all too well, and have to use it to sell products from mops to frozen foods.

If women didn't feel inferior to men, this simply wouldn't work, and they would refuse to buy the product. With men, you have to show them what the product is, how it works, why it's better than others on the market, and why they need it. With women you don't need to do any of that, you just have to show men being clumsy, and women being "sassy" and "empowered", then show the brand name, and like braindead zombie-sheep, they flock to buy the product.

Let kids take risks. Let them fail. Let them get hurt. End Helicopter Parenting!

2018-05-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

If you practice doing things in the face of possible danger as a child (sports, skateboarding, climbing trees, wrestling, etc), you become almost fearless as an adult which aids you in almost any realm (business, dating etc.). Let your kids take risks!

My ex wife HATES the way I let our daughter take risks. She HATES the way I don't coddle her when she is hurt (there's a difference between hurt and HURT, mothers) and instead insists she "mans up" so to speak. She HATES the way I let her fail over and over and over and don't lie and say everything she does is "good enough." Well in twenty years she'll be happy with who our daughter has become even if she won't have enough insight to understand how she became so.

There's a difference between being hard and your kids/having expectations for them and being an unfeeling dick. I love the shit out of her and hug her every day. Doesn't mean the world needs to stop when she stubs a toe.

If you want your children to be self actualized, confident, powerful, contented, centered and engaged (with the world) adults..........when they are kids LET THEM BE KIDS. Helicopter parenting is the worst thing to happen to childhood since media reports of kidnappings became so prevalent (actually there's a casual relationship there which the media should have to answer for). It may sound stupid but there's a direct correlation between tree climbing and playfighting (risk taking and "violence") and adult success. Every time you tell them to stop because they "could get hurt" you're reducing their chances of succeeding later in life. Which of course you will blame them for in twenty years, adding to the damage you already caused.

LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS.

Society focusing on the individual and thinking we are "free of" biology is a huge mistake.

2018-04-29T21:00:00.000-04:00

The postmodernist idea of redefining everything (like gender roles or relationships) through the lens of personal freedom/happiness, etc might be great for individuals but like any problem, political or otherwise, we have to consider society as a whole across generations. Something might be better for individual humans but much worse for humans at the societal and/or multi-generational level. This is something we are really bad at thinking about and so many changes under way right now are great on the face of it but spell disaster long term.

The trend of ignoring the influence of biology on personal satisfaction is one example of this. There is a trend right now of acting like we are "beyond biology" but the truth is we are inexorably tied to our biological natures. The result of this is scores of people in 20 years saying things like "I am doing what we all agreed is our new freedom to do yet I am miserable. Why can't I just be happy?"

Naming the Glory Hole Guy

2018-04-14T14:58:00.000-04:00

Why don't we have a name for the guy on the receiving end of a glory hole? As far as I am concerned, not having a name for these guys is an injustice. They do very difficult and taxing work and for that to go unrecognised is a travesty. They do a public service after all! Ask any gay man and they will most certainly agree that the glory hole guys are the unsung heroes of the gas station bathroom dwelling contingent of the gay community. And by god I say it's time they get sung!

So, ladies and gentlemen, while I myself have no suggestions (I was going to suggest Elton Johns but I would rather not get sued) I would like to deem this post to be my public broaching of this very pertinent subject and I would like to go on record as stating that we, as a society who recognizes our everyday heroes, can no longer ignore the guys on the messier end of glory holes all around the world. For this service to the greater good to continue on unrewarded (well, outside of the inherently rewarding 'money shot' they so often receive) is an injustice....no, a travesty.....no, an infamia

"The glory hole guy not being given respect is an infamia and no son of mine will refuse to give such a man his dues"

It looks like guys who have anonymous sex with other guys though holes in the walls of various public restrooms (like at rural mom n pop gas stations and other fine establishments) are as important to The Godfather as they are to me. You wanna disagree with The Godfather? No? Well if you disagree with me you disagree with him, so get thinking and post your suggestions in the comment section below, lest ye too commit an infamia.

Trivia: Marlon Brando (The Godfather) was bisexual, so perhaps he himself frequented some bathrooms.....hell, he maybe even used a glory hole or two in his day. If so, which end would he have preferred? I wonder.....

I really wish MS hadn't made Ninja Gaiden Black backwards compatible.

2018-02-19T15:04:00.000-05:00

I was FINALLY over my addiction to Ninja Gaiden. I was enjoying all sorts of new games and new genres. After over 1000 hours of Gaiden I thought I had it licked. I played the Tom Raider reboot (and sequel). I played Bastion, A Tale of Two Sons, The Walking Dead, Torchlight, Fallout. Skyrim, Doom, GTA V, XCOM, Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid: Samus Returns, Castlevania LOTS, etc. I replayed the Mass Effect trilogy. I started playing the Dragon Age series. Origins was AMAZING. DA2 was fun. Inquisition was daunting but engaging and I was maybe thirty hours in when I got a message from my buddy. "Dude, Ninja Gaiden Black is playable on the Xbox One and it looks/runs amazing!" "Cool....but I played enough of that on the original XBox and the 360. Plus NG2, Sigma, 3, Razor's Edge, Sigma Plus, Sigma 2 plus, the NES trilogy.....okay might as well boot it up to see how it runs...."

Now, 2 months later I forger what I was doing and where I was in Dragon Age. The story is fading in my mind. The characters, the lore....all fading. I eat sleep dream Ninja Gaiden. I beat Normal. I beat Hard. I'm almost done Very Hard. Master Ninja is next. Approaching 20 million Karma in Mission Mode.....might as well chase 30 million since I never got there....and if I do, well screw it why not go for 40?

I have played maybe 8 hours of other games in the last 2 months. NHL 16 with a friend, and Rainbow Six Siege/Overwatch for a few hours each since they were free to try for the weekend (Overwatch is AWESOME.....Rainbow Six is good but 1, 3 and Black Arrow are still the best imo).

Today I have the whole day to myself. The kid is with the ex wife. Great time to get back into Dragon Age, right? Yep.....boots up Ninja Gaiden.

I wish I believed in a god so I could pray for help cause I think I'm like a guy back with his abusive ex- I know it's bad for me and everyone is telling me so but the sex man....the sex is just unbelievable.

My Daughter's First Words

2018-02-02T09:13:00.002-05:00

I have a daughter, much to her chagrin (mine as well). She's 4. Cute as a button. Bright. Not a big fan of mine. In fact, l can still hear her very first words as though she was saying them at this very moment.....

She had been trying to speak for a while, making those babbling sounds that sounded as though they wanted to be words but had no idea how to become them; unrealized potential uttered by an idiot savant in a diaper. She had come very close on a few occasions, once even possibly saying "mommy" but it was too hard to call so we decided not to officially declare that as her first word, opting instead to wait for something that was undeniably a fully articulated English word. And then it happened. She had been playing with her blocks, seemingly unfazed by any of the events surrounding her, when all of a sudden she looked up at her mother, then myself, then her mother again, dead in the eyes, and whispered, softly but very clearly, with the inflection properly placed at the last syllable of the word to denote the asking of a question, "Why?"

If she'd had the ability to, she would have said "Why him, Mommy? Why?" but still, the question she was asking was very clear to us both, and unfortunately for her there was, and still isn't, a sufficient answer. I guess the best I could ever hope for is to just stay out of her way as much as possible and try really hard not to ruin her now or embarrass her later.

Poor thing. You never do get to choose your parents after all.

There is no "Real You." There is no "Real" Anybody.

2017-11-21T11:59:00.000-05:00

Ever hear someone say something to the effect of "I thought I knew him/her but obviousdly not-she/he really revealed who he/she really is that day in that one moment. 20 years of knowing them (well, thinking I did) and it all goes away in an instant. How could I be so blind? Or were they just lying the whole time?

Maybe you have said something like that yourself.

Well.......

The deeper truth that a few philosophers, neuroscientists and psychonauts know is that there is no "real you." There is no "real anybody." All there is is tendencies governed by momentary situational factors. You might not see a certain behaviour in someone until 20 years into a relationship and this is not because they are hiding the "real them" but because the specific set of circumstances in play at the time of the behaviour had not existed in that exact form at any other time.

A pedestrian example is irritability when tired (which many people share). A "nice" person may be great 23 hours a day but a real shitbag between 7-8am. Which one is the "real them?"

A less pedestrian example is a self proclaimed (and seemingly objectively so) pacifist slapping his girlfriend in the face eight years into their relationship during a really bad fight. He had never, EVER shown any signs that this was possible nor had he ever hit anyone else in that eight years- wow, I guess you just don't know who someone "really is" even if you think you do. You had not seen that behaviour because those exact circumstances had not yet come into play. Not once before had you ever been in a major fight following infidelity and the death of his mother and found yourself making an egregious, incredibly hurtful comment about his other's death. And it's possible you may never see that type of reaction from him again. So which one is the "real him?" The "pacifist" or the (duhn duhn duhn) "abuser (#metoo)?"

Answer: It's all him.

"Temporary Insanity" Is a Legal Term But Not A Valid Psychological Concept

2017-09-05T13:20:00.000-04:00

This is a short summation of the circumstances surrounding the first ever implementation of the legal defense known as "temporary insanity:"

George Reimus built a massive bootlegging empire during prohibition. His wife was by his side during his ascent to becoming a major kingpin and he provided her with anything she ever wanted.

Reimus gets sent to prison for a short 2 year prison term. He left her in charge of his entire empire while he was incarcerated. She was his soulmate and he trusted her completely, without hesitation.

His wife starts sleeping with a new man. Within 6 months, she sold all of her husband's assets, stole all his money, and filed for divorce.

Upon his release, George was driving to his divorce hearing when he spotted his wife in another car. He forced her car off the road, then shot and killed her. He immediately turned himself in and admitted to the murder.

At his trial, he pleaded temporary insanity and won. He said this afterwards:

It was a duty I owed society. She who dances down the primrose path must die on the primrose path. I'm happy, this is the first piece of mind I've had in years - George Reimus

The problem with this defense is the fact that it's simply not real.

"Temporary insanity" is a legal term but isn't at all a real psychological phenomenon. In fact, in reality, there is no sanity or insanity or even a "real you." There are just moment to moment brain states which are a result of biological, chemical, physiological, environmental, etc factors.

That guy wasn't "temporarily insane." His behaviour was the end result of a specific set of factors which were in play the moment he saw his wife; the reason he had never acted that way before was simply because he has never been in that situation before. Just like when an otherwise "friendly dog" attacks someone. They aren't insane in that moment; they were acting on circumstances that hadn't been in play prior to that moment.

Another "Sexist" Warning to Women about Drinking to Excess

2017-08-30T08:15:00.000-04:00

Article: Anti-drinking ad in university women's washroom blasted for being sexist"

My take on this nonsense that seems to be so prevalent these days? Simple:

People too readily validate their kids' emotions from a young age; that combined with a lack of philosophical education (logic, reason, forming arguments) leads to this stuff. It's vital to teach your kids to a) challenge assumptions (others' and their own) and possibly more importantly, challenge their own emotional states. Not every moment of sadness, anger or depression (or in this case, 'offense') is reasonable or based on valid assumptions and if they don't learn to challenge them or push through/ignore them (at times, not always obviously) then they end up being like this- unreasonably offended/emotional and then acting upon this shaky foundation.

Advice To Potential 'Self Help Gurus' ('Life Coaches', Marriage Counsellors, Sex Therapists, etc)

2016-11-05T01:17:00.002-04:00

There are often two paths when it comes to advice about life, yet in cases where this is true, the path that is followed is the one that is perceived as the sole option, as those who follow this path are blind to the existence of the second, and more importantly, correct, path. For example:

Let's say the advice in question is regarding a married man, self described as "happily married," who is guilty because even though he loves his wife and the marriage is great he can't stop wanting to sleep with other women. He doesn't act on it this desire, but he feels it. Often. Now, the path most travelled, seen to those taking it as the only path (they're wrong) is the sit down/discuss the relationship/examine the self/spice up the sex life with the wife path.

If you want to really help people, stay away from that path. The people on that path are playing in a matrix of socially approved and spread ignorance they just don't see (or they do but they deny it because it is threatening to them in some way). There's a second path, at that path is truth. Real truth. Often politically incorrect truth. So, in the example above regarding the husband with the wandering eye, the second path would be the that's natural/there's nothing to worry about/and p.s your wife does the same thing path.

Stick to the second path and you'll draw the ire of the masses but you'll also be truly helping people and what could be nobler than that?