The Thoughts of an American Husband and Father

Petzy

2012-01-09T21:38:00.000-05:00

This morning, my grandmother, the woman who raised me for a very formative period in my life, passed away. I am going to sit here and cry for a few minutes so please indulge me as I remember such a wonderful woman.

On the way home from work this afternoon, she sent me a message. Not a text or a phone call. A technology more fitting her generation. On a radio station I seldom listen to, a Pearl Jam song came on the radio. The song is called "Just Breathe". I am not a particularly spiritual person, but I knew (the moment I heard it) that it was from Grandma.

The first verse starts:

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,

As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,

Oh, I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands

the ones I love...

The first lyrics are advice as if out of her own mouth. "Just Breathe" is something that I could picture her saying. I find myself telling my children, the things she told me 30 years ago. "Take tiny sips from around the edges if your soup is too hot."

The entire song is below in the embedded video (complete with lyrics). Feel free to press play, listen and read the rest of the post.

"Petzy", as she was known when she played cards (and she loved cards! Bridge, Crazy 8s, Uno; it didn't matter), cared so deeply about her grandchildren and I am lucky to be counted among them. She would pick the meatballs out of our alphabet soup and count them to ensure that both Greg and I got an equal number. She would sit at the top of the stairs and knit when a 5-year-old Doug wouldn't settle down and go to sleep. She and my grandfather dutifully drove me to school (along with my friends Tim and Jason). She would dress me for church every Sunday and drag a comb through my hair (only if she could see my hairline now ...).

Did I say that I need you?

Oh did I say that I want you?

Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,

No one knows this more than me

She knitted thousands of Christmas stockings for relatives, friends and complete strangers. She told me once that she made one for a raffle and that the stocking raised over $1,000. Yellowed with age, my Christmas stocking is one of my most prized possessions.

The Huber Family Stockings

I will miss her small house in Clymer, PA. She would bake me zuchinni bread, "grandma's" cookies (which were sugar cookies with a fork impression on them) and pour my cereal in the morning (asking first, if i wanted a glass of orange juice in order to 'wake up') on our annual visits. I remember her and grandpa sitting on their matching recliners drinking Top Hat (I may be imagining the brand) beer and watching sports. Her German heritage did her proud. I remember the cuckoo clock that hung in the living room. Mine is at the repair shop right now. My wife decided to dust it off and get it fixed about six weeks ago. I am so glad she did. I can't wait for it to come back. It will mean more now than ever.

I hope I make it back to Clymer. Our uncle is planning a small memorial service in the Spring there. I associate her small town with her, Grandpa and my two Uncles (Tom and Terry).

I can picture her standing in the small galley kitchen in the back of their house. She would wash the aluminum foil to reuse it; she would always tell me to be frugal and count my blessings.

I am so happy that I can carry on my grandmother's maiden name with Mason's middle name, "Ogden".

Grandma, Me and Mason in 2006

Most of all, I can remember, and will always feel, her unconditional love. "Ahhh, you're a good one, Doug," she would say, understating how she felt, as she leaned over to hug and kiss me. I owe a lot of who I am to both her and Grandpa. She gave up a lot to move to Ohio to help run the family after my mother died. What a selfless woman. What an amazing woman. I love you, Grandma.

Nothing, you would take,

Everything, you gave,

Love you til I die

Meet you on the other side.

Best Michigan Joke Ever

2011-11-24T22:37:00.004-05:00

A man dressed in Scarlet and Gray walks into an Ann Arbor sports bar with a small dog under his arm. He says to the bartender.

"Hey, can I leave my dog here while I go to the OSU - U of M game?"

"A dog in my bar? No way."

"But he's a special dog," the OSU fan says.

"In what way?" The bartender asks.

"Well," says the Buckeye, "he will watch the game on TV with you. When OSU scores, he will walk up and down the bar on his hind legs. When Michigan scores, he will walk up and down the bar on his front legs. When Ohio State wins, he will do back flips all the way down the bar and back."

"Wow," the bartender says. "What does he do when Michigan wins?"

"I don't know" says the Buckeye. "He's only seven years old."

Mason's Soccer Season

2011-05-22T20:22:00.000-04:00

Mason wrapped up his Under 7 soccer season today. This was his first season with goalies and refs but he took to it very well.

2nd Year In-Residence, Kelley Direct

2011-03-05T20:28:00.001-05:00

As I came back from Indiana University, after a grueling and exciting week, Mallory met me at the door. "Daddy!" she yelled, jumping into my arms. "Where have you been?"
"At school," I replied.
"Doing what?"
"I was studying strategic business analysis," I explained.
"What's 'business'?" she asked.
"Well, its when people buy and sell things from each other."
"Oh. I have a calendar on my locker at school, you know."

Our week kicked off last Saturday, as my classmates arrived from all over the country (and the world). We gathered in the Indiana Memorial Union for a welcome from the Chair of the Kelley Direct Program, Professor Eric Richards. We sat through a few other briefs before our welcome reception. It was a chance to catch up with friends and acquaintances that I had met last year at our first in-residence program and to (finally) meet some of the professors that had taught us so much over the first year.

Reuniting with the likes of Jeremy, Drew, Greg, Bryan, Amy and others was a great time. Swapping 'war stories' with active duty folks Clark, Laura, and Gabe allowed my to reflect a bit on my service and and I am glad that these brave warriors are still defending our nation. It was unfortunate that I could not spend more time with Will, Lee, Ken, Raghu, Brian, Cindy, Lauren and the many other folks that returned from from our year one in residency.

Between bowling, eating way to much food and watching the Hoosiers come up short against the Badgers at Assembly Hall, we actually manged to do a fair amount of learning. The Kelley Direct Program partnered with Cummins (the giant engine maker here in Indiana) so that the students could perform a 'live' case study. Unlike last year, when we were restricted to the material provided to us, now it was just the opposite. A world of information was at our disposal and we immediately began to swim in data as we tried to answer the four questions posed to us. We worked diligently for four days before presenting to a panel of judges.

My team, including Tamir, Mike and John, did our best to wade through the problem and come up with a recommendation that we felt answered the questions. Unfortunately, our team didn't win, but after seeing the final three teams compete, I knew we lost to the best. The three that won were articulate, detailed and comprehensive in their analysis. I HATE losing, but if I am going to, then I don't mind (as much) losing to the best. Hats off to the winners.

Our professor, Idie Kesner was top notch. Leading us throughout the week, she was assisted by Professors Matt Semadeni, Sreenivas Kamma and Arlen Langvardt. They were terrific in their delivery and insight. I am proud to say that I learned a great deal from each of them.

As always, the Kelley Direct staff was top notch. Led by Terrill Cosgray, Roberta, Jane, Lindsey, Donna, Mark, Kathy, the amazing IT staff and many others made the logistics look effortless (and I know I am forgetting lots of folks so please forgive me).

The only downside is that there isn't a 3rd year in-residency. All the best to my cohort as they begin their second year. I hope to see you all at graduation.

Crazy Day Today at Stonegate

2011-02-18T06:21:00.001-05:00

It's just what the title says...

USAA

2011-02-15T19:56:00.000-05:00

I love my bank. I just deposited a check using nothing more than a pen (to endorse the check) and a cell phone; which recorded an image of the check (front and back) and sent it off to my bank.

Yet one more reason that USAA Federal Savings Bank is the best.

Pancake Breakfast 2011

2011-02-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

In October 2009, I hosted my first Dad's Club Pancake Breakfast at Stonegate. This year we decided to have the event in the Winter. I am proud to say that it was a terrific event despite Mother Nature's best efforts to thwart the production with 4+ inches of snow.

We had a great group of volunteers that helped through the entire event.

Volunteer Dads readying the batter and griddles

The event started off a bit slow but quickly picked up steam. Stonegate's own Choralaires performed midway through the breakfast, filling the cafeteria with wonderful sounds.

Our Choralaires, led by Josh Pedde

Many, many sincerely thanks to the Dad volunteers, Kris Landis, Nancy Fitzpatrick, Cathy Rowan, and the SGE janitorial staff. Also a HUGE thank-you to our sponsors, Indiana Members Credit Union, Pediatric Associates of Avon, Huston Electric, and KellerNiemann for their support of our event.

Also, to the children who helped with smiles aplenty, it was much appreciated.

Three young ladies with plenty of initiative

Mason ... doing dishes for the first time ... ever

Icy Wonderland

2011-02-03T21:00:00.000-05:00

Everyone has seen the news. This is the scene from my driveway.

/Ice, ice, baby; too cold/

DIY For the Adventure of it All - Part 5

2011-01-24T22:28:00.000-05:00

This last DIY project started a little over a month ago. I have always (and by always, I mean as long as we have lived in our current house) wanted a TV mounted to the wall. I am not sure why, really. But, it has been a want of mine. This Christmas, I finally got sign-off and set about my journey. We chose the loft upstairs (probably because it is so cold downstairs in the winter). I did a bit of research and then I was off to Lowe's (yes, this is how every 'DIY' story starts, I know). I met a gentleman named Greg who was extremely helpful in what I needed. He was especially helpful with my wiring questions. It even prompted a Tweet.

Anyway, I decided to add a 110v outlet, move the cable, add some blocking and rough in some speaker wire. So, with my trusty utility knife, I cut a (big) hole in the wall. "Oh," was Noel's reaction. "That's a big hole in the wall."

The first thing I did was add some horizontal blocking with 2"x6" boards. The metal hangers worked perfectly and went up easily with wood screws.

From there, I set about shutting off the breaker in the garage, testing the outlets to see if they were hot and then testing them again. Once I was confident they were not 'hot', I pulled out my handy-dandy wiring diagram that Greg from Lowe's drew for me and went to work wiring the additional outlet. The cable was easy to move as it did not require any additional wiring; just a junction box. I nailed in a third junction box to run the center channel speaker along with a future HDMI cable (if you are going to do this, don't forget to add a pull string to pull down through the wall).

That night, I measured out 30' pieces of speaker wire and labeled them with 'center', 'woofer', 'front left', and 'front right' on each end (with masking tape). The next day, I went up into the attick and drilled a couple of holes in the top plate of the wall to feed the wires down. The position was easy to find as I just traced the existing coaxial cable and drilled right next to it. I fed the wires down through the holes.

Next came the drywall and painting (a full 21 days later ... yes, Noel had to stare at that eyesore for three weeks, but she was very patient. That's why I love her). The drywall guy was in our house for about 90 minutes. After the mud dried, I gave it a light sanding and then painted it.

Overall cost, not including TV or mount, was about $180 (with $100 being the drywall labor, $40 for speaker wire and the rest was electrical wire and components).

Now what? Re-tiling the master bath?

Agent Zigzag

2011-01-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

I just finished "Agent Zigzag: A True Story of Nazi Espionage, Love, and Betrayal" by Ben Macintyre. It is a fantastic book; full of richly-developed characters and amazing stories of heroes that helped shape World War II. I highly recommend it.

More on Gun Violence and Correlation

2011-01-17T19:30:00.000-05:00

It seems like everyone is writing about it these days ... Here is an article from the Atlantic about gun deaths in America. While the data he cites includes all manner of gun deaths (including suicides and accidental shootings) the analysis appears sound. The author, Ricard Florida, is quick to note: "As usual, I point out that correlation does not imply causation, but simply points to associations between variables."

As with most online articles, the comments that follow the article are the most entertaining piece.

Gun Control Follow up

2011-01-14T20:38:00.002-05:00

Harvard professor Jeffery Miron has a great piece on the fallacy of gun control here.

Rachel Maddow and Correlation vs Causation

2011-01-13T21:29:00.004-05:00

On her MSNBC talk show tonight, Rachel Maddow made the point that there were more gun deaths in states with a higher percentage of gun ownership than states with a lower percentage of gun ownership. As you can see in the image below, the two states with the highest gun death rate also have a high percentage of citizens that own guns.

So, gun ownership causes higher gun death rates, right? Gun ownership causes gun-related deaths. Get rid of guns, get rid of deaths. Case closed.

Well, not so fast. I don't have access to Maddow's research but I am assuming that gun ownership refers to the publicly available data regarding registered guns. These citizens have probably passed a gun safety class and passed a criminal background check.

I did a bit of research and I found something interesting. According to StateHealthFacts.org, the District of Columbia has the highest rate of gun related deaths per capita. Interestingly enough, it also has the lowest gun ownership rate per capita, according to a survey done by Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System in North Carolina. Only 3.8% of D.C. residents own a firearm. While not a state, the district has its own gun laws like each state in the union. In fact, before the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on District of Columbia vs Heller, it was almost impossible to legally own a hand gun in the District of Columbia.

So, if Maddow was being completely honest, her chart would look like this:

Highest Gun Death Rate % Gun Ownership
District of Columbia 3.8%
Louisiana 46.0%
Mississippi 54.0%
Alaska 61.0%
Alabama 57.0%
Nevada 32.0%

Kind of a different picture, huh?

The right question to ask is what percentage of the gun deaths are at the hands of registered gun owners? But, greater gun ownership leads to greater access. Perhaps. How many of the gun-related deaths were by weapons that were legally registered but subsequently stolen and used in the killing. How many of the deaths were committed by individuals who where licensed gun owners? Only then could we begin to move away from strong correlation between gun ownership and high rates of gun-related deaths and into the realm of causation.

Surely there has been a study done on this? Rachel wasn't the first person to ask this question, was she? Fortunately, there was a study done by Harvard professors Matthew Miller, Assistant Professor of Health Policy and Injury Prevention at Harvard School of Public Health, and his colleagues David Hemenway and Deborah Azrael. It was published in the February 2007 issue of Social Science and Medicine.

These results suggest that it is easier for potential homicide perpetrators to obtain a gun in states where guns are more prevalent. “Our findings suggest that in the United States, household firearms may be an important source of guns used to kill children, women and men, both on the street and in their homes,” said Miller.

So, after all of that "household firearms MAY be an important source of guns"? Wow. Solid research Professor. Still no causation, huh?

As a disclaimer, I am not a huge fan of guns. Having served in the military, I have seen first-hand what they can do. What I am a huge fan of is the Constitution.

13th Wedding Anniversary

2010-12-27T16:38:00.001-05:00

Celebrating 13 years of being happily married today! I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Snow Sledding

2010-12-27T12:48:00.003-05:00

This morning, I had the day off of work and Noel did not so I took the kids out snow sledding. There is a hill in Zionsville (yes, one hill ... that's how Indiana is - and this one is man made) at the Mulberry Fields park. After going to Wal-Mart, Target and True Value Hardware, we finally founds some sleds. Time to go sledding.

On her first trip down the hill, Mallory learned that she didn't like sledding and everything got really cold all of a sudden. Mason, on the other hand, loved it. We (Mason and I) may go back on Thursday and leave the girls at home (for those that can't see the video, click here).

The 3-Advil Snow Fort

2010-12-26T18:04:00.003-05:00

The Huber boys had been cooped up in the house for going on 48 hours and it was time to get out and let off some steam. So, Mason and I headed outside to build a snow fort. Mason donned his overalls, a jacket and (for some unknown, but fortuitous reason) his bicycle helmet (more on that in a bit).

For all the snow that was on the ground and for as warm as it was today, the snow still did not want to pack on its own. This is the precise reason the Rubbermaid invented 32 gal. commercial grade BRUTE trash cans. Armed with two shovels, tested the concept in the front yard before heading out back.

We packed that trash can full 10 times to build the walls. Then we (I) made 'bricks' by filling the can 1/3 full. Mason's job was to fill in the voids with loose snow. I was originally aiming for a roof but my back won the argument.

But, before we done, Mason wanted to smash into the test block we made in the front yard. (for those who can't see the video, click here). Again, thank God for helmets.

Christmas Preparation

2010-12-24T20:31:00.005-05:00

Tonight we did our chores in hopes that Santa would come to our house. Noel made sugar cookies and I picked up some icing while I was out today. Then we made cookies; wonderfully, sugary, delightful cookies.

Here's hoping Santa enjoys them.

A Quote from Saturday Night Live

2010-12-22T19:43:00.001-05:00

From Seth Myers on Weekend Update:

Governor Patterson of New York said this past week that New York may be ungovernable. That's like Danny DeVito saying a basketball is undunkable.

That is awesome.

Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell

2010-12-20T22:14:00.002-05:00

In the past couple of days, I've gotten some questions about my thoughts on the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT). (For those of you who stumbled across my blog, I served as a combat arms officer in the U.S. Army for almost eight years - just as a point of reference).

I think that this ruling is going to be a 'non-issue' in the medium and long run. In the short term, there will be an adjustment that many in the military will have to make. The Army that I was in was professional and focused on mission accomplishment. I doubt that has changed in five years. I don't buy the argument that it will adversely affect morale and that it will impact the 'good order and discipline' of small units. If a commander at any rank were to tell me that it would affect the good order and discipline my response would only be, "Are you telling me that you can't maintain discipline in your unit?" The army survives and thrives on discipline. it is a cornerstone of a professional fighting force. What the boss says, goes. This will be no different. Soldiers adapted to the integration of African-American soldiers and (in a more apt comparison) women into units. They, too, will adapt to this change.

Now that is not to say that there won't be some issues. There will be a small percentage in uniform that won't be able to adjust to this change. They will be dealt with through the Uniform Code of Military Justice. On the other side of the coin, there will be some homosexuals that will enlist to make a point and to flaunt the fact that this is now their right. Those few will make their point, but will have to suffer a grueling two year enlistment doing so.

The bottom line is that most will self select. Those interested in serving their country will enlist. Like most humans, they will keep their sexuality a fairly private matter, it only becoming apparent when they show up to a function with their date.

There are thousands of brave men and women who are serving this country who happen to be gay. They deserve the right to serve their country without fear of persecution or prosecution.

Mallory's Christmas Concert

2010-12-13T22:45:00.003-05:00

Like clockwork, the Abacus preschool held its annual 'Winter' concert this evening. This year we were treated to another wonderful show.

(For those who can't see the video, click here.)

Doug vs the Snowblower

2010-12-13T22:09:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I proved I was smarter than my snowblower.

It took 3.5 hours to do it, but ... I did it.

(Why would anyone want to check the ability of one's snowblower to work before the big snow? I dunno.)

Anyway, as the snow was falling, there I was, yanking back on the pullcord, pleading with the small, stubborn 2-cycle engine to turn over. "Screw you", it grunted as the pistons moved back and forth before quieting again.

I'll show you, snowblower. I will set you on my workbench and take some of your covers off and stare at your insides (somewhat helplessly). That will show you. I may even take off some random screws and bolts to see what happens.

But then it dawned on me. Hey, this is a pukey little engine. I am smarter than 22 lbs of steel, aren't I? Channeling my dad I remembered that internal combustion engines only need three things; fuel, air and a spark ("It's actually four," the guy at Lowe's said, being 'helpful'. "You need compression, too." Thanks, Lowe's guy. You are smarter than me. I'm just trying to make conversation. Are you happy?)

So off I set on my journey to outwit the snowblower.

1) Air. Yes, plenty of it around. It's getting a bit colder by the minute, but there seems to be an abundance.

2) Fuel. Out with the wretched fuel that has been sitting idle in the engine for eight months. I will freshen your cup with nice, new gasoline with just a hint of 2-cycle engine oil mixed in.

3) Spark. I can take out a spark plug, right? I remember someone (Dad again?) telling me that God made special sockets for sparkplugs; coated with rubber to keep the ceramic from breaking in the event of a mishap. Off to Lowe's for trip number one for a socket and spark plug (Every Huber Home Improvement requires a minimum of two trips - call it Huber's Law). The entire way to Lowe's I was chanting "Rick Chuck James Ate Yams ... Rick Chuck James Ate Yams." This was the model number of the spark plug I needed (RCJ8Y). There is where I met the aforementioned 'helper' who helped my find Rick James' spark plug and who convinced me I didn't need a socket; that a small engine spark plug wrench would do the trick. I'll save you some time, it doesn't do the trick.

Back to Lowe's I go. This time, to secure what I should have gotten in the first place; a shiny Kobalt 3/4" deep well socket (not made for spark plugs because small engine spark plugs don't justify a special socket ... at least not a Lowe's. But, going on hour 3 of my project, these were mere details). Back to the house!

Now that I was armed with the proper tools, I pulled the original spark plug out and it look bad (this being a purely qualitative assessment of the original spark plug, having no idea what I was looking at).

After swapping the gas and installing the spark plug, I re-assembled my snowblower, ready for another pull of the cord.

Nothing. Amidst the quiet snowfall, one could hear my energy and motivation tiptoeing down the driveway and into oncoming traffic. Shoulders slumped, I shuffled into the garage to grab the snow shovel. Defeated, I began to shovel the drive.

But, you said you are smarter, Doug? Yes, as it turns out, but not more spiteful. After shoveling the entire drive, I looked at my snowblower one more time. I gave it one more tug. Nothing. Just one more.

That tiny engine (all 98 cubic centimeters) roared to life! Announcing its presence to all of the snow pushed neatly to the sides of the drive. I let it sit there for a moment so it could reflect on its actions. Barking, coughing and rattling there in the drive, I watched it with a great deal of satisfaction.

Then, I pushed it over to the neighbor's house and cleared their drive.

Funny ... really funny.

2010-11-27T21:16:00.002-05:00

This is one of the funniest things I have read in a while.

Click here for some great humor.

Enjoy.

Mallory is 4!

2010-11-27T19:56:00.003-05:00

Today was Mallory's 4th Birthday. She celebrated in grand princess fashion this weekend, being spoiled by Noel's folks. We had her folks in town this weekend (along with her brother and his family) for Thanksgiving. So we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and her birthday all in the span of three days.
We thank everyone who sent birthday wishes and presents for her. She is blessed to have so many people who care about her. The picture below is of Mommy and Mallory. Mallory is wearing the cross necklace that Great-grandma and Great-grandpa Purvis got for her. GGMa Purvis got it for her as a reminder that she is lucky enough to have three grandmas. Two here with us and one looking down from above. While she doesn't understand it yet, she will in due time and appreciate that there are so many watching over her.
For her birthday dinner, we went back to the kid's favorite burger joint, Red Robin. The kids have too much ice cream, but the service was great (thanks Caitlin!) and the burgers were, of course, amazing.

The staff at Red Robin even sang Happy Birthday to our amazing little four-year-old. My how time flies.

3rd Quarter

2010-11-21T19:31:00.001-05:00

My 3rd quarter has come to an end this evening. Strategic marketing management and corporate finance are in the books.

A Proud Day

2010-11-04T07:49:00.002-04:00

Referenced by Tim Ferriss on Twitter …

He pulled it from a comment I left on his blog.