The Tila Truth

Don't Buy Her "Sex Tape" Lie

2011-02-01T09:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here in a long time. Not because there was a cease and desist or anything like that, but because reporting on every single lie Tila told would have taken up my entire life.

The only reason I am even updating on this story is so that everyone has their information right.

Let's go back to July of last year. Tila was driving a brand new used Lamborghini and everyone was speculating as to how she got it. Did she rent it, lease it, purchase it, get it as a gift from a Middle Eastern businessman? In August, RadarOnline broke this story that confirmed it.

Tila Tequila can officially add porn star to her resume.

RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that the Internet entrepreneur is starring in an XXX-rated film that will have a major distributor.

The C-lister has been bragging on her Twitter account that she has just purchased a brand new baby blue Lamborghini. Sources tell RadarOnline.com it was bought with money she received upfront from the porn company for making the porn movie.

Tila quickly went into denial mode, saying she did not film a porn movie. Word was spreading that Vivid was the porn company that would be distributing the tape and rather than them selling it as a legitimate porno flick, they wanted people to think they "acquired" a sex tape of Tila. If Tila didn't deny filming the movie, it could ruin the plan.

A few days later, RadarOnline posted details about the porn film.

Tila Tequila may have denied that she's starring in a porn film, but there are at least two female co-stars who can vouch for its existence.

According to a source with inside information, the video was shot by Vivid Entertainment starring Tila and two other women – Penthouse Pet Lia Leah and Vivid star Charlie Laine.

“The movie was filmed about a month ago in the Valley,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “It’s a lesbian three-way and was professionally shot and directed by Michael Bisko.

“Tila has false hopes for the success of the film. She wasn’t paid anywhere near what Vivid paid Kendra Wilkinson for her tape.”

More denial, more lying about becoming an A-list actress, and eventually the video was forgotten. Until now.

Yesterday TMZ reported on a "leaked" sex tape of Tila that Vivid had acquired. It includes a statement from one of Tila's pit bull lawyers.

"Tila Nguyen is in total shock and livid right now that someone had the audacity to leak out an intimate tape made with her and her 2 girlfriends without her consent.

That tape was not meant for the public and she has been fighting fiercely in court to not have anything released. We are currently working with her lawyer's to decide what the next steps are."

Sorry Tila. Our brains aren't out of order due to drug binges and syphilis. We can remember six months back.

We did the work so you don't have to. Here is a screencap that proves that the "leaked" tape is the same one from the RadarOnline story.

Who is that?

Why, it's Charlie Laine! The same Charlie Laine that was said to have filmed a video specifically for Vivid Entertainment with Tila.

That's that. It's not a tape made without Tila's consent. It wasn't leaked. Tila didn't go out looking for a buyer. There was no tape to be stolen. And it is really gross to see Tila's botched boob job scars and severely discolored labia. Please take that as a warning and stay far away from this video.

Update: The other girl in this porn video is Kristina Rose, another adult film star.

To Tila and Vivid, next time you want the world to think you are releasing a legitimate sex tape, don't hire porn stars as costars. Tila, you shouldn't tell your friends about starring in a porn if you don't want them blabbing about it.

Juggaho

2010-08-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

Everything that needs to be said about what happened at the Gathering of the Juggalos has been said.

I created this blog almost a year ago for the simple purpose of calling Tila out when I can prove she is lying. Little did I know that I was going to have to update this nearly every single time Tila opened her mouth or posted to Twitter.

I'm not going to write about everything that happened at the festival. I will not sit back while Tila tells a bald-faced lie about security guards again.

Tila tweeted earlier that there were no bodyguards present until she was hit in the head. This is unequivocally untrue and a truly disgusting lie.

Before being hit in the head, Tila stood behind a wall of bodyguards.

She took her shirt off and kept jumping in front of the bodyguards and they tried to bat plastic bottles and dildos away. Nothing had hit Tila in the face before she took her shirt off. The security was there and these pictures are proof.

These men were out there from the start, doing their job. They were pelted with objects much worse than Tila and they stood there and took it because it was their job. They tried numerous times to get her off the stage, but she objected.

To tell such a lie about these men who were doing what they were paid to do is disgusting.

There was enough that happened to make people sympathize with Tila for once. Despite the fact that she said Rihanna deserved to be beat by Chris Brown, despite the fact Tila constantly makes fun of Perez Hilton being hit and even made a video where she pretended to punch him herself, despite the fact she has made a complete mockery out of women who were actually abused in domestic violence situations, there were people who still sympathized with her. Then after selling her story to TMZ, she had to keep talking. She had to lie about what really happened to portray herself as even more of a victim to keep herself in the spotlight a few seconds longer.

There was absolutely no reason for her to lie about these men who put themselves in harm's way to keep her safe as she yelled for the crowd to keep throwing more things.

Red Light

2010-08-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Tila is still in possession of the "Lambo" and is continuing to put the lives of innocent people in danger with it. People have made phone calls to the dealership and found out the car is still for sale and is currently being leased out.

After seeing what she has done with the car, it will be shocking if anyone actually wants to buy it.

TMZ posted a video of Tila being pulled over by the Santa Barbara police last night. She was ticketed for going the wrong way down a one way street and for a passenger not wearing a seat belt.

The video ends when Tila takes off at an excessive speed through a red light and two police do nothing.

This is where we come in and ask the police what the hell is up with that.

You can contact the SBPD at the following e-mail addresses...

Anonymous Tips - abaker@sbpd.com
Police Procedure - dmccaffrey@sbpd.com
Public Information Officer - lduarte@sbpd.com
Station Officer - frodriguez@sbpd.com
Traffic Supervisor - nrivas@sbpd.com

More contact information, including phone and fax numbers, can be found here. If you do contact them via e-mail, please send a link to the video from TMZ, as well as the YouTube video of her claiming to drive at speeds of 180 miles per hour on a busy highway.

Tila has gone on numerous rants about Lindsay Lohan being treated special because she is a celebrity. She said of Lindsay, "YOU DO THE CRIME THEN DO THE FUCKING TIME! STOP COMPLAINING!!!"

Let the Santa Barbara Police Department know that it is not right for Tila to put the lives of innocent people in danger.

Consequences will never be the same.

Update: I was sent a picture where it can clearly be seen that Tila is running the red light at the intersection. You can see the light is green for traffic that would be coming from the road to the left.

If the police have replied to your e-mails saying that there is no evidence that she ran the red light, please reply with that picture.

Tila Has Friends Again!

2010-08-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

Tila likes to try to garner sympathy from her Tila Amry by whining about not having friends. We can all celebrate because Tila now has a best friend from Sweden! And they are going on a vacation!

Way to go, Tila! You two have fun on your girl's only vacation.

Wait a second. What's that?

Poor Emilia. She didn't even have time to fly to the US from Sweden before Tila forgot about her and their girl's only vacation.

And if anyone is driving down Robertson Blvd. in Beverly Hills today, take a look at O'Gara Coach Lamborghini. Word is that the baby blue Lamborghini that Tila bought, the only one in that color there, is back on the lot.

UPDATE: Radar Online has just posted an exclusive that Tila is now making some extra cash by starring in a porno. Could this "vacation" be a week long porn shoot?

M.I.A.

2010-08-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

Here is another great example of Tila failing to keep her lies straight. When Tila was first trying to open her blog, she left open the RSS feed and we were able to see posts she had made in the weeks before opening it.

One post was about M.I.A.'s video for Born Free.

Tila said that she no longer liked M.I.A., called her an opportunists, and said "taking off your clothes just to be shocking is the same as exploiding bodies just to be shocking." We know Tila knows a thing or two about taking off clothes in an attempt to be shocking.

I guess Tila forgot we all saw that, because now she has a completely different story to tell...

A video that only a few months ago Tila said was M.I.A. trying to be shocking is now a video that Tila calls quite refreshing and says it has a powerful message. She no longer hates M.I.A. and now loves her.

As for everything else going on with Prostitila, Rotspot has done a very good job at covering it.

Who Is Stalking Tila?

2010-07-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently everyone is stalking Tila these days. Have you read her website? You're a stalker. Have you read an article about her? You're a stalker. You think she's lying and call her out on it? Stalker. Do you remember something she's talked about in the past? You're such a stalker, you will be getting a restraining order from her private investigator after she gets your information from Mr. Google.

Here are some of the best comments from Tila's website where she calls people out for stalking when they are doing anything but... Some of the replies to her stalking claims are too good not to include. Click on each image for a full size view.

Knowing one of very few Lamborghini dealerships in Los Angeles, but it not being the one Tila went and posed in front of cars at? Stalking. That's right. If I say, "Tila, were you at Toys R Us in Vancouver today?" and she wasn't, I'm stalking.

Everyone who Tila considers a hater writes for some magic hater website that was taken down. Not only are "haters" stalkers, but according to Tila, they are now terrorists too. Yes ... Terrorists.

Saying a website will be explosive is a threat? Threatening to post nude pictures of P. Diddy and his girlfriend and going on and on about "going innnnn" on actual celebrities, hyping up blog posts where you're going to "reveal secrets" about famous people who have done nothing to warrant such harassment from you? That is what you do Tila. How are you so dense, girl?

Knowing that Tila's sister writes for her website? Stalking. Here Tila claims her sister doesn't write for her site though. We've already proved that Tila's sister does write blogs on Tila's site.

Did you read the LA Times article about Tila tying up her dog to a stripper pole? If you said yes, you must remember having read that article. Not only are you a stalker, but you are also mentally ill.

A Tila fan indirectly calls a "hater" fat, saying they should go eat a Happy Meal. A "hater" replies, calling the fan a hypocrite. This isn't stalking, but it is what Tila defines as a cyber bully. No, not the person calling someone fat, but the person calling them a hypocrite.

Tila talked about being on an awards show. The people in charge of guests on that show said she wasn't going to be on it. People knowing that are stalkers.

Telling Tila she stole a song? Stalking.

While telling Tila to kill herself might not be the most thought provoking and innovative comment, it isn't stalking. Nor would private investigators, of which she has, care.

When reading replies like the one Tila used there, I forget that she is nearly 30 years old. 30, and she is acting like that.

The replies to Tila in that one sum it up pretty well. The first comment is about a post Tila had made less than a weeek before. Remembering something Tila said less than a week before? Totally stalking.

This comment is about something Tila said in that exact post ... That her computer was broken so she couldn't post new pictures. That person bringing up that Tila said it is, according to Tila, breaking the law.

Here are some that don't have anything to do with stalking, but are good for the lulz.

We've all heard this one before from Tila. Each time I read it, I laugh more than the last.

I'm sure Michael W. Michalak, the current U.S. Ambassador to Vietnam is as worried about being dethroned as Perez Hilton was.

Some facts about Ambassador Michalak:

Bachelor of Science degree from Oakland University
Master of Science degree in Physics from The Catholic University of America
Second Master's degree in Public Administration from the John F. Kennedy School of Government
Deputy Chief of Mission to the US Embassy in Tokyo
Award for valor for his actions in time of crisis when the U.S. Embassy in Islamabad was burned down
30 years of service with the U.S. Department of State

I'm sure Tila will include her own quote in her resume to become Ambassador...

I knew out of high school I didn't want to go to college. I knew what whatever I did wouldn't have anything to do with college. And the only reason I wanted to go was to further educate myself. Right now I'm still interested in taking classes, but only to educate myself with subjects I like, like history or English. What I didn't want to do was go to college for an actual degree because there's nothing out there I like besides doing something that involves the entertainment industry. Other than that I also have business plans that I don't need a college education for--at least not for what I want to do. I'm going to have my own business, but at the same time I'm going to try to do this rockstar thing.

Ambassador Michalak better head back to college. She's a tough one to beat for a position like that.

Not only was Tila in her mother's womb during the Vietnam war, she was also in Vietnam during the war ... which ended in 1975 ... while she was born in 1981.

And with that, I thank you all for stalking my blog.

Tila's Dream Car

2010-07-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

Tila has been talking about getting herself a brand new car. It's probably going to be worth millions, just like her mogul mansion.

Here is a new audio post where Tila talks about getting her new car.

In it, Tila says "Otherwise, it's back to the bus, even though I don't take the bus. Because I've never been on the bus."

That's odd, because Tila just posted something completely contradicting that statement.

What is it Tila? Have you never been on the bus or did you have to take it all the time to work in the flea market? And the train? In Houston? That's funny, Houston's METRORail service did not start until January 1, 2004. Houston did have a street car, but that service ended in 1940. You probably rode it to the flea market, Tila? Didn't you? After all, you were born in 1981 after being in your mother's womb during the Vietnam war.

Tila is also posting about how she is going to pay millions for this new "Lambo" when she said something completely different earlier.

I've been very busy lately and haven't had time to update. It looks like Tila still hasn't learned how not to be so damn obvious when she lies, though. Keep it up, girl.

It doesn't look like Tila's lies have been helping her site stats much.

There is less than a week left to July and no chance she'll get even half the hits she got in June, which were a big drop from what she got in May.

Perez can breathe easy again.

They Took Our Jawbs

2010-07-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

First, let's get a laugh at this Tila Q&A moment...

This was asked when Tila was going on about how the "real" Tila is nice and innocent and positive. Tila's answer?

What? Really, Tila? The girl who talks about a young girl's weight wasn't you? You fired that girl?

Tila, get your head out of your ass and get your lies straight. It's not even funny when your lies about your lies are this incoherent.

Haters took our jaaawbs!

I thought there was only one "hater" from Iowa who lived in a pedophile apartment? Amazing that one person who is so amateur they can't hide behind a proxy has the ability to get a poor, innocent man fired.

Maybe that man should try to belittle the hat next time?

One Girl, One Dress

2010-06-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

Tila recently talked about how she is too much of a mogul to wear anything twice. Rot spot was quick to call her out. In her recent video that is somehow about exercise, Tila shows us she is wearing wedges (which she mistakes for stilettos) and she says that she never wears flats, ever. In another video, Tila talks about how much of a tomboy she is, always wearing Converse.

Tila continues to be a disgrace to fashion. Thursday, she showed up at a Fred Segal event (the one she is trying to pass off as the Twilight premiere), wearing something more than a little familiar.

When something lands you on the worst dressed lists, it's time to move on. Not to a new color. Not to more accessories. Not to tulle. Scrap the entire idea and move on.

Mr. Bradshaw, as her stylist, it is up to you to keep your client styled. When you see something is not working, you need to try something new. Figuring out a new way to show off the panties under the dress doesn't count. We saw her wonky nipples when she wore it in pink and now we're seeing them again. You've got prospective clients watching you and watching who you style and with what. Your own reputation is on the line. This isn't helping. Edgy doesn't have to be raunchy. It is possible to be both unconventional and classy.

VH1, how about a Fashion Rehab?

Exclusive!

2010-06-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, Tila has another exclusive!

Tila posted this "exclusive" at 3PM Pacific time. At 1:58PM Pacific time TMZ had the same exclusive, but with the correct information and the filed court documents.

Tila posted the exclusive over an hour after TMZ had already posted it. I guess it is an exclusive since she was the only one to post the wrong information about the case.

Get it together, Tila! Aren't you on TMZ's team? Why would you steal their exclusive but put the wrong information? That's no way for a teammate to act!

I doubt it, Tila. They're busy getting facts while you're spreading rumors.

AdBlock

2010-06-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

If you like to visit Tila's self promotion blog but don't like the idea of giving her extra hits or helping her generate ad revenue, there is something you can do.

First, make sure you are using Firefox to browse. Then install AdBlock Plus.

Add the following addresses to your block list...

http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/lovemyquotes.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/mail.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/misstilawrinkleproduct.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_bottom.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_post.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_sidebar.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_sidebar02.png
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_top.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/omg_top02.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/provestra5.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/provestra6.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/puregoddess_banner_250.jpg
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/tila-clearporesbanner1.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/tila-clearporesbanner2.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/tila-genf20banner.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/vigrx_plus_banner02_891x99.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/vigrxplus_250x250.gif
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anti-wrinkle.jpg?w=250&h=250
http://tilatequilaomg.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/vigrx_plus_banner02_581x90.gif

Anytime you see an ad (or any image you do not want to see) on her page, right click and add to your blocked items. Voilà!

If anyone uses any other browsers and knows how to properly block ads with them, please add it in the comment section.

The majority of ads on Tila's site are referral links (disgusting ads that have no place on her site), meaning that she does not profit unless you click on them. Blocking the images will prevent this from happening. Blocking the images, which Tila has self hosted, will also keep her from getting extra page views off of the image hits.

I will update this with new addresses to block as I am told about them. You can go one step further with AdBlock and disable all images from loading on her site.

Joking About Suicide

2010-06-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Suicide is not something to joke about, as anyone who has ever been affected knows. It turns out that is exactly what Tila did though.

In a new blog post, she rants about Lady Gaga using stage blood during her concerts and compares it to her own little stunt earlier this month, which ended in her being taken in for a psychological evaluation.

Tila says it was all a big joke now, but this isn't the first time Tila has talked about committing suicide. She's threatened suicide on multiple occasions.

There is no need to talk about Tila trying again to compare herself to Lady Gaga. To even insinuate the two are on the same level is laughable.

Let's talk about Tila saying her fans knew the suicide attempt was a joke. Well, as Tila says, her "real" fans knew it was a joke. Here is some of what Tila's biggest fans had to say upon finding out the entire thing was another stunt...

Joking about suicide. Always classy, Tila.

Now on to Tila saying that Lady Gaga does "WAY WORSE SHIT" than herself, like walking around in a g-string in public. Tila claims to be far from that.

Really, Tila? Really?

Great News!

2010-06-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Tila has some great news!

OMG!!!!!! Tila is on TMZ's blogroll! Take that Nikky and Perez! Tila's site is officially legit! Look for yourself!

That image was provided by Tila. A quick look at TMZ's blogroll tells a different story.

That's weird. Tila isn't listed where the original image shows. Perez is there, but Tila isn't.

Wait, what's that?

Zennie62? That is the blog for which Nikky Raney writes.

TMZ is "teamed up" with Nikky and Perez. Legit baby. Suck that, Tila.

Dish It Out

2010-06-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Tila is at it again, acting like a child, attacking people for their weight.

Tila talks about "dishing it out" and not being able to take it. The girl Tila is attacking is Nikky Raney, a girl who wrote an article about Tila, using Tila's own quotes, to prove Tila is a liar. Instead of replying to the article, like a 28 year old woman, Tila resorts to name calling and picking on Nikky's weight. In other words, Nikky dished it out and Tila couldn't take it.

Tila also violates Twitter's TOS and gets her army to report the girl's page for spam, even though the girl did not spam Tila.

We've tried to figure out exactly what it is that the Tila Army does. Tila was supposed to move them into a mansion, give them cars and money, and they were going to help people. We have yet to see the Tila Army help anyone. Thus far, we've only seen them attack people's looks, at the whim of their army leader, and try to get pages deleted on Twitter, because they can dish it out without having the ability to take it.

The Tila Army is full of regular people. The type of people Tila likes to call out because of their looks.

From the way Tila talks, you think the Tila Army would be nothing but a bunch of super skinny girls with plastic breasts and wonky nipples. No. They look like the normal people you see everyday. They are small. They are big. They are short. They are tall. They are male. They are female. They are NORMAL looking people. They are the type of people Tila makes fun of for their looks.

Tila likes to pretend she only attacks people who attack her first. Let's name some of the people she has gone after, without them having ever uttered a word about Tila - Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Amber Rose, African Americans, Lady Gaga, Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari, Nicki Minaj, Hillary Duff, Kesha, Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen, Beyonce, Rihanna, Mark Wahlberg, Maria Menounos, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Alba, and Samantha Ronson to name a few.

The lies about being pregnant for so many different men, the tales of miscarriages, the record label, the mogul mansion, the charity, the lawsuits, the domestic abuse, the television shows, the adoptions, etc... You dished it all out. TAKE IT when people call you out on it. Answer up to the accusations rather than chipping back like a scared little chihuahua.

Tila, take your own advice. You want to be a bad bitch? A boss lady? A mogul? Act like one. You are 28 years old. Not 13. Quit resorting to childish name calling and "lol, ur fat" comments. It's not becoming, especially when your own fans don't fit the ideal body type you go after "haters" for having. In fact, fat comments are all you seem to be able to come up with when you attack a person. We know your army is mostly children, but that doesn't mean you have to act like a child.

Update: I blurred out Nikky's name in the screencap and left her name out of the original post because I didn't want anyone to attack this girl anymore than Tila's nice and respectful army already did. Nikky left a comment, letting me know it was okay to post her name. Here is a link to her latest blog entry. It talks about Tila's "adoptions" but also goes into a respectful open letter to Tila at the end.

Caught In Another Lie

2010-06-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

This is another of those cases of "posting this just to have it documented" because Tila is probably going to delete when she learns what defamation really means.

In Tila's recent post, she claims that Kim Kardashian "actually flashed her entire bare titties right in front of" Justin Bieber's face.

And onto the real picture...

Kim's "bare titties" are clearly covered.

What about that time Tila pranced around on Ustream with a tampon hanging out while children watched? Or the time she pranced around a grocery store, bending over, and wearing see-through lingerie as a little boy was shopping with his family?

People in glass whorehouses shouldn't throw stones.

Haters Gonna Hate

2010-06-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's time for another Tila Q&A!

Now, for fun, let's take a look at some of titles of Tila's recent blog posts.

KATY PERRY FLASHES HER FAT COOTER… EEWWWW !!!

NICOLE RICHIE’S BITCHIE SYDNEY STYLE!

RIHANNA JEALOUS OF NICKI MINAJ? DROPS DAT BIATCH FROM TOUR! OUCH!

MEGAN-SHUT-YOUR-HOLE-FOX GETS B.A.G.GED…DUMBASS LOSES THE RING

TRUTH ABOUT SOME OF THE BIGGEST POPSTARS THAT WORSHIP SATAN & THE OTHERS!

BREAKING NEWS: LINDSAY LOHAN SMOKES QUACK

TRUTH: LADY GAGA AMONGST OTHERS TURNING TO THE “DEVIL”

MILEY CYRUS: NUDE AGAIN, THIS TIME IN A MOVIE? WTF!

THE KARDASHIAN BUTTOCKS IS OUT, BUT THE KARDASHIAN BOTOX IS IN!! LOL

Well, well, well, Tila! You've outed yourself as Vietnam's first Ambassador of Hate. Get it, girl.

If you want to visit Tila's site and see how it is "negative responses 247" about people she doesn't know, have at it. The post titles are enough to see this bitch is fueled by nothing but hate ... and maybe some Ambien.

Self-Ostracism

2010-06-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

Don't blame the Illuminati when you lose all your fans, cunt.

You are digging your own grave. Good thing you're used to your knees being dirty.

Illuminutty

2010-06-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

I've been busy and while I have been following all the amazingly funny antics of Tila, I haven't had the time to update about it. RotSpot has done a great job, as always, following the madness. Amazing what those girls can do while imprisoned on federal offenses handed down by Tila herself. The complete stupidity that is Tila has me having to update this one too.

Tila has always been interested in talking about the New World Order and Illuminati. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a subject that didn't interest me either. I won't go as far as Tila and lie about my interests in it, saying that I also have immersed myself in the studies of Quantum Physics, Quantum Mechanics, or even Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap. I can tell you that Tila is throwing out the most basic of theories related to anything involving Illuminati though. It's sad to see a subject that is actually interesting dumbed down to such a level that it makes Dan Brown novels read like they were written by Steven Hawking.

Tila's recent Illuminati obsession started when she realized that people like Lady Gaga and Beyonce were doing much better than her. The only reason that she could come up with was their Illuminati connections. This isn't something Tila discovered, as she is trying to make her "army" think. Tila lurks sites like ONTD, where posts about Gaga's Illuminati connections are posted for everyone to laugh. ONTD links to the most absurd site of them all, Vigilant Citizen.

Let's go back to when Tila brought up the Illuminati on what was supposed to be her blog about celebrities, which is actually a blog all about Tila.

Ohhhh, look at that. Tila is using Illuminati symbolism and talking in code. She must be so deep and knowledgeable!

What did Tila have to write about her precious little army in the blog she posted?

If anything, I have all the right people you need, that you want, that you work oh so hard to get to. Yes. I have them at the tip of my fingers, all by my little self.

They won’t listen to you, however, they WILL listen to me. Now, if anything, you may want to re-think what you are doing and do this deal with me as I do have my MASSIVE TILA ARMY!

I have always been on the other side of “YOU AND YOUR TRAINED ONES” however, even with all that power you have and all of your trained ones, I still, all on my own, have my OWN POWER, and MY OWN TRAINED ONES.

Meet me halfway. I am here. How to find me? Tips@MissTilaOMG.com – NDA and all that… No worries. DONE.

What is going on here? Is Tila hitting the meth pipe? Did she snort a line of Ambien again? Is she just trying too hard to sound deep, like a 15 year old writing poems about cutting their arm? All of the above? Possibly.

First let's get all the laughs out about Tila saying she has a massive army. Even Tila's own "army" know that their numbers can be counted using all the digits on one human body.

Now, to Tila's army, do you see what it is she is saying about you? She is saying that she has you trained, that you are puppets and have no free will. If you are too young to understand, she is saying you are stupid and she can make you do whatever her cold heart desires. She is offering you up. She is willing to hand you over to "the others" that she speaks so negatively about, the ones she calls devil worshipers. And since you follow her so freely without asking any questions, as she says you do, it will be very easy for the handover to happen. No questions asked, Tila Army, your soul is being signed over to the devil without your own consent. You already gave that to Tila and have no control over it.

Hey, it's your own commander saying this. Not me. In fact, she goes as far as saying you are all part of a cult.

Despite what she may say the point of the cult is, she still considers you member of a cult. You know, like the Manson Family, Waco, People's Temple, Heaven's Gate?

The entire blog post was her trying her hardest to get Lady Gaga's people to contact her. She tried to dress like Gaga, use Gaga's mannerisms, and speak like a grown up (which didn't work). Gaga's people never contacted her though, because Gaga's people probably have no idea who she is.

And when anyone doesn't pay attention to Tila, what happens? The same thing that happened with Shawne Merriman and The Game. Tila makes things up and tries to attack their careers. She had her hands full trying to attack Gaga, though. Gaga has a large fan base and they embrace the eccentricity that is the star. Gaga worked to get where she is and Tila wants to ride her coattails. That failed miserably when Mr. Bradshaw's styling failure only emphasized Tila's implant scars and wonky nipples and no one showed up to see her perform the songs she stole from Depeche Mode and Yoko Ono.

Dragging herself through the dirt and begging for Lady Gaga's attention didn't work, so what does Tila do? She turns into the thing she knows most, a hater. Tila posts about Lady Gaga being a devil worshiper.

Where have I heard that before? That's right. There is a blog called Vigilant Citizen that is completely devoted to documenting symbolism and occultism in pop culture. It's a damn funny read and they use proper grammar.

Not getting the attention she had hoped for with the first post, Tila went ahead and posted another rant today. The consensus is that Tila's blog won't be around much longer and she is looking for someone to blame it on. She has done this in the past and it looks to be happening again. This time, "the others" will be at fault. The failure is obvious. While the coding is still there in the source, the Google ads are no longer loading on Tila's page. This happens when you go against their terms of service. Now Tila is no longer getting ad revenue for her site and is begging for advertisers to fund it.

With no one coming to her site and the numbers of viewers dropping, stunts like faking a suicide attempt and talking about how the Illuminati are out to get her are her only options. Neither of these are pulling in the numbers she had hoped for, so the attention whoring is only going to get more and more obvious.

Again, let it be pointed out to the few fans that Tila still has ... This Illuminati talk is not Tila's. It comes from another website and is clearer and more interesting there. It isn't new. People said this about Judas Priest and Black Sabbath. Before that were the Rolling Stones and the Beatles. Long before that there was Robert Johnson, the Mississippi bluesman who was said to have sold his soul to the devil in order to become a great musician.

Our founding fathers were Freemasons and before them there was the Knight's Templar.

If you've ever spent a boring Sunday watching the History Channel, you've heard all of this before. Just because Tila is loaded on drugs and needs attention doesn't mean anyone or anything is out to get her.

The only people Tila needs to worry about are the ones she crossed and owes money to, right Carlton Jordan?

Tila "army" ... Educate yourselves. Stop buying into her hate and calls about how everyone who says anything about her is a "jealous hater". Get a job. Read a book. Find someone to look up to who is worth looking up to, not someone who sings songs about having sex without protection or someone who fakes a suicide attempt to get viewers to their blog.

Tila is always talking about how her army are so great and are out to help people, yet the only time they come together to do anything is to attack innocent people on Twitter for being overweight or for not liking something stupid Tila says. How is that helping people? Tila army, if you really want to help people, volunteer for an organization that helps homeless youth, or one that hands out food, or even help clean up your local park. You can make a difference, but not when you have someone who fakes pregnancies, suicides, miscarriages, and jokes about rape as your leader.

Hello

2010-06-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm still here. I've been extremely busy and haven't had the time to update. Not to mention, I refuse to visit Tila's website.

As of right now, it looks as though Celebrity Rehab won't be happening. Not anytime soon, at least. Instead of seeking help, she's going to continue seeking airtime. It makes sense, as her addiction is fame. Like crack, heroin, and every other addictive substance out there, she'll never get that high she got the first time she had it.

Same goes for the views to her website. Sorry, Tila, but it is going to take a lot more than you joining a bunch of other z-listers (who have actual addictions) to get what you had when your site opened.

Until her stunts are no longer stale, I will continue to anxiously await my subpoena.

Baby, I'm A Free Bitch

2010-05-19T17:30:00.000-07:00

I still haven't been subpoenaed by Tila, but I have taken part in a person boycott against her site. I do have a definition I want to share with everyone reading, who have seen Tila go on and on about how many hits her site is receiving...

Technical definition of a pageview:

A pageview is each time a visitor views a page on your website, regardless of how many hits are generated. Pages are comprised of files. Every image in a page is a separate file. When a visitor looks at a page (a pageview), they may see numerous images, graphics, pictures etc. and generate multiple hits.

For example, if you have a page with 10 pictures, then a request to a server to view that page generates 11 hits (10 for the pictures, and one for the html file). A page view can contain hundreds of hits.

If you feel the need to view her page, AdBlock is your friend. You have the ability to disable all images from her site, reducing her numbers.

We've shown her ranking and how it does against Perez, and speaking of Perez... His website has received a buyout offer for $20,000,000. If Tila is reading (we know she is) and unable to calculate all those zeros, that is twenty million dollars.

Let us take an updated look and see how Tila is doing against Perez and TMZ again...

That's odd. Tila's numbers have dropped in the past few days while TMZ and Perez's sites have picked up.

Now, let's take a moment from some Tilulz. Tila was recently interviewed for TSS. You can view that here, but please make sure you aren't drinking anything as you read.

I got a lot of laughs out of this exchange...

TSS: Yeah…everybody thinks they can rap nowadays.
Miss Tila: Yeah, exactly.
TSS: It’s terrible, really.

Reading the entire interview, it doesn't seem like it could be real. She can't be that dumb, can she? She didn't even link to the interview and she links to everything about herself. It's real and it is understandable why she would never want anyone to see it.

That's not it! There are even more Tilulz for today. While waiting to put up "exclusive" pictures of Megan Fox that had been seen on every other site days before, Tila took to her blog to copy and paste another story from a reputable source. The post is titled, "Would you buy Drew Barrymore's autobiography coloring book?" The source she cited for this story that had yet to be covered by any legit gossip blog? The Onion. Tila seriously posted a news story from The Onion as though it was real. It wasn't the only story she wasn't aware was satire; this picture of Steve Nash was posted, and along with the Drew story, was taken down hours later after everyone enjoyed a good laugh.

Back to the lolsuit! Since I am not locked up yet on felony lol charges yet, I want to post a link to an article sent to me over Twitter by @mishalay. Read here about a blogger who spoke out against a company which must not have mega mogul attorneys and private investigators. If only USA Technologies had gone through "Google people" like Tila, they could have the blogger's name, address, and GENDER!

Finally, word on the street is that Leo Madrid is now a free bitch too. If that is true, congratulations to you, Leo! You deserve an award ... and one of those Hazmat showers.

Lawlsuit

2010-05-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

I still haven't received the cease and desist that Tila said she would be sending me. Nothing to worry about, Tila announced today that she will be suing bloggers! (Suing "3 slanderous" as she put it.) One can only assume she is talking about this blog, Spiked Tequila (check that link for Tila's actual tweets about suing us), and The Rot Spot. Maybe we're wrong. Maybe she isn't suing us and is instead suing Perez, TMZ, and DListed for her inability to "dethrone" them.

Just in case it is the three of us that she is going after, I had my mega mogul attorneys draft up a class action lawsuit against Tila. You can all be part of it and share in our winnings of chewed up lucite heels and bedazzled sunglasses.

Let me end with this ... Tila, you can threaten to send us cease and desist letters. You can threaten to sue us. Our First Amendment rights will let us to continue to speak out against you though. Fair Use will let us screencap the trash you post. If you want to try to trample those rights, prepare to have the wrath of every First Amendment advocate upon you. Your only goal is to censor us for reposting the filth you spew, delete, and hope no one saw. We see everything, Tila.
"We do not Forgive. We do not Forget."

Disgusting

2010-05-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is disgusting and completely classless. We don't except anything less from Tila, but dragging professional women into her muck is as tasteless as it gets.

We agree with this comment made on Tila's website of celebrity bashing and childish self-promotion...

We know Tila did not film a sex tape or have any sexual relationship with Candice Swanepoel and Miranda Kerr. To even suggest something is so unprofessional and trashy that we wanted to post this in hopes that anyone with a connection to either of these two models will get that post taken off of Tila's site, just as the post about Khloe Kardashian was. Tila suggesting such a thing, and not being upfront that she is joking, is absolute defamation and libel ... and outright filth.

Anniversary

2010-05-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

Happy one week anniversary to Tila's celebrity gossip site of TMZ and Gawker stories and previously read news. The number of hits should be sky high now that the blog has been off the ground for a week and we've gotten all those amazing celebrity interviews that we were promised.

It was a nice run while it lasted. We can't wait to see what Tila's next adventure could be. President of Jamaica? Scoring a huge movie role in a movie that she can't tell anyone about because it is so huge? Assistant to bedazzler extraordinaire and stylist with three dresses in ten colors, Mr. Bradhaw, with his new orthopedic shoe line? There are so many exciting possibilities, it is hard to narrow it down to just one.

Although Tila has been going on and on about her upcoming EP with a song she has claimed is hers but is actually Depeche Mode's, she is blaming her "team" for her forgetfulness about the release of it.

Don't worry, Tila. The same five people that would have bought it if you told the entire world will still buy it without Carlton Jordan or your sister promoting it. We know it is probably hard for you to focus on one thing when you're on an Ambien high, but maybe if you didn't get yourself wrapped in your lies about pregnancies and miscarriages, ambassadorships to Vietnam, or even about something as ridiculous as your alcohol allergy, you might still have a little bit of credibility left. The chance that you can restore even the tiniest bit of what you once had many years ago is really, really small. Shut your mouth, quit typing about people you wish you were, and maybe even get yourself into a nice rehab facility. After that, you might be on the road to being a has-been, rather than a has-been who who people are still laughing at.

How High

2010-05-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

Tila, if you're going to get your "paparazzi" friend Garry to take pictures of you, hide the drugs.

Ambien and Red Bull? What a mix!

Full size original here, in case Tila decides to delete the image like she deleted the posts about Khloé Kardashian and Miley Cyrus.

Thanks to @LikeReally for having such a great eye.

Site Visits

2010-05-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tila must Google herself and forget to actually read the articles before linking to them in her new blog.

The STARZLIFE write up isn't necessarily negative or positive and simply says that Tila has a new blog. The GREAT mention in USA Today says, "Tila Tequila is back in action, with a blog she launched on Monday." That's it. GREAT! While the DListed article is telling her to throw in the towel after she wrote about how Chris Brown should be forgiven.

Tila also said her site received 230,000 hits the first day. Not only is that not true, but her site looks to have a major decline in views already.

As for TMZ, Statbrain.com has an estimated average of over 3 million views per day with an Alexa rank of 347. Tila's blog, on the other hand, has an Alexa rank of 11716488. You won't find any data about Tila's blog on the Alexa website. As their site states, "Historical data not available for sites ranked > 100,000." Sorry, Tila. Also, your plan for dethroning Perez may have backfired. His page views were up by 37% yesterday.