The Guardian manages to point a crooked finger in China’s direction while claiming:

The police believe illegal metal trading costs the UK economy almost £360m every year. Lead from church roofs, drain covers, railway signaling cable, Henry Moore sculptures, bronze plaques have all been stolen.

Between January 1 and April 16 this year, British Transport police recorded 637 metal theft offences and arrested 153 people. A two-day crackdown targeting illegal scrap metal trading and involving 38 police forces is currently under way.

A crackdown on illegal scrap metal trading in a burgeoning black market worth £360m a year?

Well it obviously wasn’t that much when I couldn’t part with a clapped-out Renault van without paying somebody for the privilege.

But enough of me bitterly whining about being unable to get fifty quid for some old banger; it appears East Lancashire, and Colne especially, are one of the current illegal scrap metal dealing epicenters of the UK. As the LET reports:

* Copper wiring has been stolen from the Royal Blackburn Hospital causing power failures.

* In Darwen thieves stole a 12ft gate, a 20ft car park barrier pole and a cattle grid.

* In Colne businesses and schools have been targeted with scrap metal raiders stealing lead from their roofs. Flashing and water-proofing has also been taken.

* In one of the most audacious incidents a gang of thieves diced with death by cutting down poles carrying 11,000-volt electricity cables in the hunt for scrap metal near Pendle Water in Brierfield.

At least some council high-up puts it all into perspective:

County Coun Doreen Pollitt, deputy leader of Lancashire County Council, said: “I am amazed that anyone has the brass neck to go out and brazenly steal public property in this way.”

Doreen, you wag….

Ah, the Olympics; the time when a whole country rallies its xenophobic tendencies while its subjects become experts/fans/screaming loons about sports that your average Joe was genuinely crap at even though it only ever amounted to the basics of chucking, running or jumping.

I do remember one inter-form school sports day that our form tutor had allowed to bypass his attention entirely. Hastily, to prevent utter class 4d humiliation, I was scuttled off to do the shot, triple and long jumps, 400, 800 and 1,500 metres, and the discus; all in my school uniform including doc martins.

Not bad for the shot - not so good for middle distance.

It was the worst morning of sciving ever.

Since then I’ve really hated most track and field events - in fact, the only Olympics I remember truly enjoying was when ITV showed ‘V’ during some sort of boycott (or tv rights nonsense) instead.

So, 94.7% of the entire planet watches the Olympics for every and any other reason than the sport itself. And the other 5.3% don’t have a telly. Subsequently, The Tinbasher is offering you an alternative guide to the Beijing Olympics by lamely pointing out that there’s some Australian hockey geezer who also happens to be a sheet metal fabricator. I know you’re desperate for this kind of stuff.

You can read all about Bevan George going to the China Olympics here.

Oh what a joy it is to be given the 4th of July off as a holiday. But, like this fella, I’d much rather be working than have to traipse three hours up the highway to attend some thoroughly cheesy family function, which this year involves some really spurious talent show. Oh, the horror. I have bought kazoos and it’s either Rule Britannia, Sugar Plum Fairy or The Pyramid Song by Radiohead.

Anyway, is there anybody who can help a sheet metal brother from Western Massachusetts out this weekend? As he states in his craigslist post:

Does any body have a sheet metal brake that I can borrow for the weekend. Will return in same condition. Ready to pay small amount for the favor.

Come on, somebody have a heart. Maybe you can save him from some truly horrendous hoopla with the in-laws as well.

Click here for his details.

Oh, and Happy 4th of July.

So a European tour to learn the ins and outs of the uses of stainless steel in public transport. Maybe it’ll be a step up from sending the new lad to panel beating night school 101 at Nelson and Colne College. I’m sure Jasper will tell you it certainly beats the hell out of beating the hell out of the side of some bus that’s been driven into some rubbish bin on Burnley Road.

Stainless steels have innovative solutions to offer for public transport. Their mechanical properties help designers to reduce weight, enhance impact resistance and improve fire safety. Stainless steels combine intrinsic corrosion resistance with excellent reparability. And they can be surprisingly cost-effective.

Innovative solutions in bus building and in the design and manufacture of metro or other rail vehicles have been investigated in recent research projects. Their results will be presented to a larger circle of industry experts in a series of seminars, which will take place in autumn 2008 in various places in Europe:

25 September 2008, Berlin, Germany
in cooperation with Informationsstelle Edelstahl Rostfrei
Contact: caroline.bresink@arcelormittal.com

30 September 2008, Lille, France
in cooperation with Institut de Développement de l’Inox (I.D. Inox)
Contact: contact@idinox.com

2 October 2008, Rome, Italy
in cooperation with Centro Inox
Contact: g.gelati@c-s-m.it, phone +39 06 5055 20, or l.rizzo@c-s-m.it, phone +39 06 5055 292

7 October 2008, Warsaw, Poland
in cooperation with Polska Unia Dystrybutorów Stali (PUDS)
Contact: pawel.kiepel@outokumpu.com, mob. +48 600068 331 and adam.zymelka@outokumpu.com, mob. +48 602 347997

10 October 2008, Labein (Bilbao), Spain
in cooperation with CEDINOX
Contact: rsanchez@acxgroup.com

16 October 2008, Gustavelund, Tuusala (near Helsinki), Finland
Contact: hilkka.eronen@outokumpu.com

INSAPTRANS is a valorisation project, which is supported by the European Union from the Research Fund for Coal and steel (RFCS). It involves the following companies and organisations: Acerinox (Spain), ArcelorMittal Stainless Belgium (Belgium), Centro Sviluppo Materiali (Italy), Euro Inox (Belgium), OCAS (Belgium), Outokumpu (Finland) and VTT in cooperation with Helsinki University of Technology (Finland).

Persons who would like to be on the mailing list for the full programme are invited to select a convenient seminar and contact the respective INSAPTRANS partner.

And please don’t ask me any questions as what I’ve quoted above is all I received in the email - you’ll have to get in touch with the person running the seminar you happen to be interested in.

And if you’re wanting to drink The Tinbasher milkshake, Stewie, just give me a bell.

Things must be going ’slightly better’ these days as they can afford to take a full Monday off to go swanning around some course in Harrogate with eight clients. So yes, if you didn’t get invited - like me (not that I would’ve gone - although I could’ve had a round over here on my own) - I suggest you kick up a bit of a stink by giving them a bell on 01282 870033 or leaving an irate comment below.

But, with any luck they may have stiffened up a bit (in the bad way) and be feeling the odd back twinge - a bit like this fella who’d been sub-contracted to do a spot of welding at Castle Cement in Clitheroe. As the Lancashire Evening Telegraph points out:

A WORKER had to be rescued after getting trapped in a pipe at a factory when he suffered back pain.

The 27-year-old, who was working as a contractor for Castle Cement at its site in West Bradford Road, Clitheroe, became stranded after his back “went” while welding.

Chris Fish, Castle’s safety officer, said the welder was working in a duct in a piece of machinery called a “scrubber tower”, which is used to make plaster.

He said: “The lad told me earlier that he had a twinge in his back and then when he was working in it just went.

“The duct is only just over a metre high and he could hardly move.”

Fire crews used an aerial ladder platform to free the worker at 2.15pm.

I bet he’d been sprauncing around at some golf day a couple of days earlier as well.

Let’s hope the medical cabinet at BSM HQ has an abundance of fiery jack.

European Trade & Exhibition Services’ unique programme of regional industrial events moves to Bolton for the forthcoming North West Manufacturing & Electronics show at the Reebok Stadium on June 11th and 12th. Now in its 11th year, the North West Manufacturing & Electronics show is the largest and most significant event of its kind in the region, and one not to be missed by anyone involved in manufacturing enterprise. Entry to North West Manufacturing & Electronics is free and there is free car parking for over 3000 cars. Pre-registered ticket holders also benefit from a free show catalogue. Access to the Reebok Stadium by public transport is also extremely easy; Horwich Park railway station is within 100m of the venue. Full event information and registration for tickets and the free seminar programme can be found at http://www.industry.co.uk/NorthWest or call 01784 880890

Here’s a lovely picture of the Wycoller Panopticon that the boys back at Butler Sheetmetal have just titivated. Wycoller (if I remember rightly) is on the back road to Skipton if you go over the tops from Colne. So it’s the scenic route to Yorkshire, and a rambling point - that is, ramble-able from John’s house in Trawden (erm, it’s here). It almost makes me wistful for a trip home - apart from the fact that I’m sure that picture’s been photoshopped to improve the skyline from foggy, drizzling miserable moor to other-worldly celestial.

Now this is more of an East Lancashire skyscape I’m used to:

Although it doesn’t usually include our new lad, Kaine, obscuring the foreground.

But at least Jasper was at hand to look longingly at a plastic bag.

Hmmm, I’m just trying to work out which globe is the shinier.

Anyway, here’s the feedback from Nick at Lancashire Council on the repair job and clean up we did for the Panopticon:

Just to say thanks for the work on the steel ball – we have had some very positive comments about it since it was reinstated.

The quality of the finish in particular has been commented on, the mirror finish better than the original!

Thank you, sir.

And if you’ve been for a walk round Wycoller way and seen the Panopticon, why not let us know what you think of it in the comments.

Although I’m not too sure whether the signs the supporters were holding up were asking drivers to “Honk for Obama” or stating that those holding them were “Honkies for Obama.”

In this racially tinged, singed or flamed campaign nothing would surprise.

But as you people wake up to blearily take in the hammering Obama is about to receive here in West Virginia, you’ll probably listen to many a talking head dismissing WV as racist, dumb or dumb and racist.

I seriously have no idea what the rest of the state is like, although it did dawn on me the other day while reading the potential blowout on offer and its reasons that I’d left one Bermuda Triangle of race relations in the UK to find myself in the American equivalent.

Although I was pretty astonished when I learned today that the largest city in West Virginia has a population of 60,000 (wiki stats alert). Bizarre.

Last weekend we travelled back down from Elyria having been to an extended family shindig and decided to drive through Salt Fork - a little state park near Cambridge, OH. And what a great hangover cure that place is. Now this will be the first and last time I ever mention being overpowered by the waft of apple blossom on the breeze, but it hung in the air like the smell of chats and candyfloss at Nelson Fair, or stale piss and disinfectant at Nelson bus station.

How I miss home….

Still, in our infinite wisdom and slightly tipsy on our sudden connection with Mother Earth, we decided to drive back the scenic route.

Now a scenic route over here is not quite the same as a scenic route round the UK. You drive on country roads round Pendle and you can easily see the nearest town or village just over the horizon; and if you can’t it’s soon upon you. Drive the back roads over here and it’s two hours before you clap eyes on a rickety old petrol pump.

America isn’t a place you ever fancy getting lost in. And the part of America where Deliverance drew its inspiration isn’t even a place you want to drive slowly through. You see, the scary part of Deliverance isn’t when everybody is having a spot of backdoor bother with the natives, but on subsequent viewings when the locals seem to be lulling them into a false sense of security by being all chummy.

The more we drove, the more odd little shacks, trailers and beat-up pickups we came across. The scenery was truly stunning, it’s beautiful round here, but Deliverance was really starting to freak me out. I was particularly worried seeming the car cigarette lighter had packed up and the mobile was dead and the gps didn’t have too long to go. As soon as that packed up we were alone - we’d need a local.

Bugger…..and I mean that literally.

As we raced against the clock hoping to find a point of remote civilization we almost careered into some girl walking along the side of the road who simply offered one of those chummy waves as we whistled past her. I could’ve sworn blind I saw a blind cousin loitering in the bushes duelling his banjo.

The mouth was now completely dry and the heart badoinging like a a bee in a drum. I was twittering and fluttering like a petrified budgie. I really needed us to find some kind of road out of nowhere as the gps woman was even telling us that power was critically low.

Then we came to a crossroads and awaited notification from our gps as to whether we needed to go left, right or forwards - there wasn’t a cat in hell’s chance we were going backwards - but not a dicky bird. Total silence.

We exchanged glances and tried to garner a sense of direction from a road sign, but not only was its wording beyond readability, what you could read wasn’t pointing anywhere.

Where the bloody nora were we. Even if we did find somebody to ask that wasn’t going to point us in the direction of their cousin’s trailer and have us for kippers, we were hardly going to find our way home if it had more than two turns.

We hadn’t seen a store, shop or anything other than sparse hints at civilization for over an hour and knew our Garmin still had an hour to go before it gave up the ghost. We also knew wavy hillbilly girl was following us up the road. One wrong move and we would be toastier than a marshmallow at a scout camp.

Then, as the panic was reaching feverish proportions, Steph noticed what looked like a possible oasis of normality among my own invented desert of dysfunction.

We drove a little further and there it was - a bloody garden center - the only store of any kind we’d seen for sixty miles. A tear welled in my eye as I sent Steph out to have a word with the locals. And before you express your disgust at my cowardice, with me and my accent they could’ve mistaken me for speaking in tongues - and we really didn’t want to be mistaken for Pentecostals.

The next thing you know, my door flung open and I was dragged over to a small greenhouse containing 13 begonias and a trailing labilia.

Which one did I prefer?

My Deliverance nightmare had suddenly taken a truly horrific twist……

Hillary
Where’s the sixty quid you borrowed off me for the gas?
Hillary, The Fall

Never in the history of political machinations and sycophantic panderings to the will of the common man has the humble sheet metal worker / steel mill worker been as important as in 2008. It’s the new blue collar barometer.

It all started with the $400 haircut, John Edwards, and his incessant ramblings about his Dad having worked the steel mills all his life. The tone had been set, and once he dropped out both Barack and Hillary continued to carry that particular torch.

But it’s Hillary who is somehow the champion of the humble sheet metal worker. She’s been endorsed by SMART and has also been hailed as having ‘testicular fortitude’ by Paul Gibson, the President of the Sheet Metal Workers’ Union:

“If you’re thinking the next President of the United States should address and amend and convince people that here are the flaws with that law, and here’s what we’re supposed to do and it shouldn’t cause harm to either border,” said Gibson. “Well, you know what, then I truly believe that that is going to take an individual that has testicular fortitude, that’s exactly right, that’s what we got to have.”

Gibson told the crowd that he is fed up with people who exploit American workers. “I am sick and tired of these Gucci wearing, latte drinking, self-centered, egotistical people that have damaged our lifestyle,” he said to a standing ovation from the crowd.

But it didn’t stop with that nonsense. A couple of days later we had Hillary actually travelling to work with a ’sheet metal worker’ and fielding questions at a gas station as the sheet metal fella pumped the gas. Not that she fielded them awfully well as she confessed to having not filled up for a good few years as the secret service tends to take care of that kind of thing.

Oh, us working class folks can empathise with that, love.

But, being the true working girl she is, Hillary managed to stop off to pick up a brew while simultaneously pandering to the working class sheet metal type who’s spent the night previously getting smashed by struggling to work the coffee machine. Although, Jasper has never had the same problem after hitting the cooking sherry:

Trust me when I say not all sheet metal types are automatic Clinton shoe-ins. Unless you’re a sheet metal type that consistently runs to the right of George Bush that is.

Then again, what do I know? I’m nothing but an elitist blogger.