Anyway, Marysia says “Imagine such a set up….United States, Port Townsend, Washington. A couple of travellers arrive to take a ferry to the San Juan Islands – Orcas Island precisely. They’re enjoying a lazy breakfast in the hotel, thinking they are smart…checking an internet site of the ferry services and watching the progress of the queue via webcam. All the time, the queue is empty so they taking it easy. It took only 20 mins for them to drive to the ferry station and surprise surprise….they have to wait for another on!

They decided to explore Port Townsend a bit, maybe grab something to eat while waiting. They are strolling around and founding an appealing pizza place. Small like a right pizza place should be. And inside they discover this sign and all those phones nailed to the ceiling and walls around.

There should be more of these Funny Mobile Phone Signs!

The face of the owner looks very serious, very uncommon for Italians, ok, maybe except for mob movies! So they don’t screw around, politely order a pizza and put their phones on silent just in case. They eat and leave as fast as possible. Outside of the door they bump into three very serious looking Italians talking: ‘Put the volume down cos Jonny is ready to shoot your head off!’

You know what? I think it’s cool that these guys were taking their mobile phone etiquette seriously! I can’t stand listening to someone on the train talking about how crap their love life is, or what trivial illness is making them feel like death! There should be more of these funny mobile phone signs around the world. The planet would then be less full of annoying conversations!

This mobile phone sign is almost as funny as the Big Mouth Toys The Banana Headset. Seriously!

This article Funny Mobile Phone Sign at Pizza Joint was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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I’m a non smoker. I’ve never touched tobacco in my entire life. There are a couple of good reasons for this. I used to be asthmatic when I was a kid, and when I was twenty one, I was diagnosed with a rare cancer that meant I needed three months of high dose chemotherapythat left me extremely sick. In fact, I was so sick, I didn’t even want to drink beer! Hence, the notion of Smoking Cessation has never been an issue for me. I don’t want to get cancer twice – the first time was bad enough!

However, I’ve talked to smokers who are trying to quit and they say it’s pretty hard to stop smoking once you’re addicted. Some try using nicotene patches, others try going cold turkey (i.e. complete abstinence straight away), and others might get there after trying multiple times. Some smokers say that it’s harder to give up smoking than it is to stop taking hard drugs like heroin and cocaine.

But I’m sure there hasn’t been a No Smoking Sign they have seen that compares to this one:

This photo was taken by Neil Skywalker in Nagasaki in Japan. Neil is also the author of “Around The World In 80 Girls” and he has previously sent me funny travel photos of the rather humourous/disturbing guest hanging area in China and Dr Bong from South Korea.

I think what the Japanese health authorities are trying to say is that second hand smoke tends to penetrate the air space of those around you, including any small children that may be in your presence when you’re puffing away on your cancer sticks! But I like the graphic way the health hazards of smoking are shown! Only in the Japanese Engrish way!

More Smoking Cessation Stuff

This Stop Smoking sign is almost as funny as the title of this book – Can’t Quit? Bullsh*t! You Can Stop Smoking!

This article Smoking Cessation – Funny Stop Smoking Sign! was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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Some examples of these language fails on this silly travel blog include the Fook Yew Hotel, the Wong Fook Hing Book Store, and Kick A Poo Juice. You can often check out some Funny Shopping Products when Travelling to spot even more language conundrums!

But I’ve got a new one today to add to the list!

Anyway, one of my friends goes to the Middle East a lot for his business and he spotted this little gem of a funny car parking sign on one of his recent trips to Bahrain. I actually would expect something like this from him because his sense of humour is very quirky, just like mine!

Sounds Like – Something A Bit Naughty

If you can’t make out the words, the separate car parks are reserved for two people – one named ‘Anil’, and one named ‘Weener’. But when you say them out loud, it sounds like ‘Anal Weiner’. ;P Yes, there is nothing like positioning signs for maximum effect and auditory pleasure!

Anyway, he wrote to me and said ‘I’m not sure if someone is having a bit of fun…or these are genuinely two unfortunate names I noticed at a car park in Bahrain on my last trip. Gave us a laugh at least.’ Yep, and it gave me a laugh as well!

Oh well. Such is life!

Sounds Like More Silly Stuff!

I’m guessing Anil Weener should probably appear in Signspotting 4: The Art of Miscommunication.

This article Sounds Like.. Anal Weiner. Funny Car Parking Sign! was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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This kind of insane wealth is only in the dreams for the vast majority of us in the world – considering that the vast majority of the world lives in the Third World. But for some, this extravagant lifestyle is a reality! And this extravagance definitely blows out my 10 Commandments for Luxury Travel out of the water.

I have seen all kinds of boats on my travels (well, not The Love Boat, the Washing Bucket Boat and the Henley on Todd Regatta). These include hand made mini boats on the Nile River, Tall Ships in New Zealand, and Yellowfin Tuna Fishing. But I’ve never laid my eyes on Super Yachts like this one.

Just imagine – pointing to a place in the ocean on a map, having your own captain and crew, and anchoring off some tropical islands for a few weeks at will. Sounds bloody terrible to me! Not!

Some Pics of Super Yachts!

I took some photos of this metal beast on a recent holiday to Uprising Beach Resort in Fiji (no, this wasn’t a junket – this was an actual holiday! It was actually a relief to not be connected to the internet for a week – you should try it sometime!). I took these photos from the shoreline to document that I had actually seen this marvel of marine engineering. I just wish I had a bigger lens to spy on all of the details inside! And X-ray vision as well!

When I first saw this massive boat anchored out in the bay, I thought it was a navy ship doing exercises. You know, things like testing out the latest defence gadgets and equipment to be used in some kind of warfare later on. But then I looked a little bit closer and found out that this was just a big play toy made for the water!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t around when it happened, but this boat has a large opening at the stern (ie, at the back), that lowers out and has even more toys stored inside it. These toys are used whenever someone has the need to go on a short trip across the water to some coral reef for a bit of fishing! For example, I chatted to some of the Fiji locals who paddled out to the super yacht on their outrigger canoes who wanted to have a closer look. They told me that inside of the ship was a flotilla of hover crafts, smaller speed boats, and jet skis! They were pretty gob smacked when they saw it!

Actually, to show you that I am not joking, you can see some of the jet skis tied up at the end of the boat.

This sort of scenario sends thousands of James Bond like images through the brain when you see it with your own eyes, even from a distance! Also notice there is a helipad on the back which accommodates a helicopter that was used for day trips around the Fiji Islands! Wa Wa Wee Wah! Toy heaven!

Now, when something like this pulls up to a quiet bay that normally doesn’t have visitors with this amount of moo lah (money!), all sorts of rumours start flying around because frankly, showing off this kind of wealth is about as obvious as dog’s testicles. Some of the stories I heard were that this was a Russian tycoon who had hired an Australian crew to pilot the Super Yacht all around the place, and was staffed by lots of women in bikinis serving drinks. But I’m guessing the truth would be somewhere in the middle as it is with these kinds of Chinese Whispers that tend to snowball from fact into semi fiction in no time!

Normally, when these Super Yachts come to Fiji, they normally drop anchor at the marina near Nadi, where most of the other luxurious boats drop anchor for immigration and other official entry procedures. So seeing this thing in a place where there are normally only canoes and small fishing boats in the water definitely attracts a lot of attention.

Whoever it is, this person doesn’t work for anyone else – but there must be millions of people working for him/her! I would think that this boat and all of the extra gadgets would easily reach the double digits in terms of the millions of dollars spent on it and running it!

Super Yachts – Short Video

I compiled a quick video of the Super Yacht, including when the lucky owners came back from a hard day’s travel via their own private helicopter in the late afternoon! Check it out! And then keep dreaming on while you are watching this from work or at home!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Absolutely crazy, isn’t it!

Anyway, there you go. I would consider myself extremely lucky to score a junket to just board one of these metal marine marvels for just a few hours to have a quick walk around and inspection. I’d probably die of shock due to being over stimulated by all of the crazy gadgets on board.

So if you’re a gazillionaire that has accidentally Googled this post in their search to find someone who builds Super Yachts and are feeling a bit generous, don’t hesitate to contact me!

Now I’ll piss myself laughing if this actually happens to me one day. But hey, you always get what you ask for, just like winning millions of dollars with a first division lottery win.. ;P Sometimes you just never, ever, know what comes up in the future! Hopefully, that would be pretty soon for me!

I’m guessing this crazy boat should have appeared in Outrageous Yachts. Because it definitely fits the bill!

This article Super Yachts – How The Ultra Rich Travel was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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If you’re ever in Wellington, the capital of New Zealand, you might want to check out one of the more unusual Haunted Places in the world. You may as well go there if you’re travelling from the other side of the world to visit the Land of Hobbits! Actually on a side note, Peter Jackson, who was the director for the spectacular Lord Of The Rings movies and now The Hobbit, lives in Wellington.

Apparently, rumour has it that he has bought all of the houses in the street where he lives so he can control what kind of characters move into the neighbourhood! Well, if you’ve got the power to do it, why not? By the way, if you want to check out some of his screwed up movies early on in his career, check out the late 1908s cult classic Meet The Feebles. I guarantee you will walk away from this movie feeling a bit f*^&ed up because it’s really disturbing!

But I digress. The Haunted Place I’m talking about is a bit unusual – it’s the Mount Victoria road tunnel, which is a main thoroughfare connecting the different suburbs within Wellington City. Here is an entrance to the tunnel.

The reason that the Mount Victoria Tunnel is one of New Zealand’s Haunted Places is due to a local legend. The legend is that a woman was murdered with her remains buried somewhere in the tunnel during the construction period which occurred in the late 1920s and early 1930s. However, even though numerous investigations and searches were conducted, no evidence or human remains have ever been discovered.

But you just never know!

But that doesn’t stop the locals from being suspicious! To ward off the potential ghost that may or may not be living in the tunnel, the drivers beep as they drive through each day.  For folks who don’t know why the others are tooting, they join in all of the fun!

Anyway, check out this video footage that illustrated what I’ve been talking about!

Click here to view the embedded video.

More Haunted Places Stuff

The Mount Wellington Tunnel probably should appear in The Ghost Hunter’s Field Guide: Over 1000 Haunted Places You Can Experience.

This article Haunted Places – Mount Victoria Tunnel Wellington New Zealand was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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Today I’ve got a funny travel photo titled ‘Making Mistakes‘, which was sent to me from Marysia from My Travel Affairs. You can follow @MyTravelAffairs on Twitter and on Facebook. She previously sent me one about the Cut The Crap Hair Salon!

Marysia says ‘this picture reminds me one of the weirdest two days on our West Coast trip. We have just crossed the border between California and Oregon and had been staying overnight in Brookings – a sleepy city for retirees! We arrived quite late and finding a place open at 8pm was a bigger challenge than I expected. After driving from the place to place we have found something open in the harbour.

The clam chowder was so sticky that you could put a spoon into it and it wouldn’t move. I decided to stick to my red, and I’m sure it was a good choice! We ended up drinking in the local bar somewhere on Highway 101 all night with soldiers who served in Iraq, only for one reason – not to get sick from the food!

The next morning was tough but it was 11th of July, World Cup 2010 Final Game and as Europeans we couldn’t miss it. It was going to be a historic game, Spain vs Netherlands. We started from a sport bar in the city, they had no idea what are we talking about and didn’t have the channel which was transmitting the games.

We tried another two in town and nothing – World Cup of what one lady asked? I haven’t heard of it! Of course you didn’t  You are an American and call this game soccer! We have been advised to try in the harbour again…I didn’t want to but we ran out of options.

The we parked outside ‘the’ place on a huge parking lot, just in-front of this advert!

I started laughing and my bad mood went away! One thing I have to admit, honesty is everything. And we found the place to watch a game and even food was edible.”

Something tell me that the owners of this establishment have witnessed thousands of people ‘making mistakes’ in their hotel rooms! I love this truth in advertising!

Somehow, I don’t think this sign appeared in Celebrating Failure: The Power of Taking Risks, Making Mistakes and Thinking Big.

This article Making Mistakes – Funny Quotes from Hotel Advertising was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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Today I’ve got a funny travel photo from Margie’s Vietnam Tours and Vietnam Cycling Vacation about Travelling in Vietnam. They sent me the rather brilliant multiple pig motorbike transport pic from Vietnam which is a great example of Masters of Transport And Logistics. This is where amazing feats are produced to transport ridiculous amounts of stuff from Point A to Point B, usually stretching the engineering capacities of all vehicles concerned.

But this time, they’ve come across a unique form of transport. It’s of the Buffalo Rides! Just like riding a horse. Sort of.

These two are showing off. Look mum, no hands!

I thought this pic was impressive. Instead of teaching the young ones to ride a horse, why not train them to ride a wild animal instead? Awesome! I’d love to turn up to all of my friends’ places with my trusty pet buffalo, with an esky full of beer to chill out for the afternoon!

I’m guessing that many, many hours of training went into teaching these buffalo not to kick the little kids off their back. That’s dedication for you.

There are all sorts of books around that talk about how to travel in Vietnam, from taking a scooter around the place to taking the trains and buses. But I think there is a hole in the market where travelling in Vietnam can be undertaken by a buffalo.

Travelling around by buffalo can’t be that bad. I’ve spent a few hours sitting on a flatulent camel in the Sahara desert in Morocco. This wasn’t much fun because the camels backbone was wedged up my backside, and every time he farted, it felt like a fart tsunami was flowing throughout my entire body. Not much fun at all.

More Buffalo Ride Stuff

I don’t think this Buffalo Ride pic appeared in Ride the Buffalo’s Back.

This article Travelling in Vietnam – via Buffalo Rides was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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Back in the age before this online thing came along and revolutionised the whole world, way before CCTV footage, and geological ages before the Google Car, you could pretty much get up to anything in private without getting caught and having everyone share your private life all over the world via some social network sharing site.

That included engaging in numerous amourous liaisons in public. For those who are more adventurous in ‘outdoor sports’, there were limitless options. For example, sex on the beach (which ended up being the name of a popular alcoholic drink), public parks, and even on sporting fields. Nothing was off limits!

However these days, you have to watch ever single move your make, especially one that may put yourself and others into uncompromising positions. Because you just never know who might happen to have some sort of image capturing or recording device.

As an example, one of these amorous encounters were captured by the Google Car by the side of the road in Australia and ended up going completely viral on the popular social media website, Reddit. In fact, it was picked up by the mainstream news in Australia because it went crazy.

Let’s check it out.

Public Sex via Google Maps!

Looks like a severe case of coitus interruptus to me… You can tell that the look on the face is something like ‘what the hell is that?’

Yes it’s one of those bizarre scenes that has been captured by the Google Car in it’s quest to map every single inch of the planet. However, while the Google Car is cruising around, it captures the more bizarre aspects of everyday life. In fact, a website called Street View Fun has been set up highlighting all of the bizarre images that people have unwittingly found on Google Maps Street View when they were trying to find a corner store just to buy a carton of milk.

Oh well.

I notice the car is a BMW, so whoever owns that car must be doing well for themselves. But I don’t think this picture will be making the next Bavarian Motor Works public relations campaign!

Or maybe they were all due for a ‘service’. Anyway, I think this couple will be rethinking their public sex plans in the future, and maybe they’ll stay behind doors!

More Public Sex Stuff

I’m guessing this picture could appear in Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex.

This article Public Sex – Google Maps Street View Funny! was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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The term ‘First World Problems‘ refers to the ‘issues’ that a lot of us complain about because there is nothing worthwhile complaining about. You know, having a bitch fest about how the latest gadget you bought didn’t meet your expectations, and how you ordered something from a restaurant and the wrong dish came out. Boo hoo. It’s gonna kill you..

Actually, this now global term has been turned numerous and humorous memes that are floating around the internet. Here is one as an example:

Photo Credit – theberry.com

Now I consider myself very grateful and lucky that I was born in a first world country that gave me a lot of opportunities that most people in the world don’t have – and will never have. Things like a decent education, a good health care system, and the means to travel a lot which is something I love doing. I’ve travelled to many third world countries, and I have a learned a lot about the crap that other people have to put up in the rest of the world is significantly more than I will ever have to deal with.

If I am having a ‘bad’ day, well I am scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of problems that are faced by most people in the world. Things like where the food on the table is coming from, whether that the water you are drinking is going to make you sick, and if there is any way out of this hell hole. It’s amazing how someone’s fortune can be determined based on which country you were born in!

Think you’re doing it tough? If you are reading this, you are a wealthy person because you have access to a computer and an internet connection. Just remember, even if someone is on welfare in a first world country, they are still within the top 10% of the world’s richest people. That’s right. The vast majority of the poorest first world people are still a lot more wealthier than most who live in the third world. There are even a couple of funny websites that highlight these terrible ‘problems’ – First World Problems and White Whine.

Other articles on this silly website that illustrate the disparity of wealth in the world are Miniature Earth, the Washing Machine and Coffin Workshops. They definitely make you think!

You should also check out this funny video that parodies first world problems! It’s gold!

Click here to view the embedded video.

I love the play on words that happens towards the end in this video!

Anyway, I’ve put together a list of some of the things that affects travellers and how they are problems in the first world and the third world. Yes, we all have different priorities!

Did you ever wonder why sometimes that if you are travelling in a third world country lugging your ridiculously big and heavy backpack around with you, that you are being stared at for some reason? Well the locals are gob smacked that you’re able to travel because you have a choice to do so, and you have the means and finances to do this! It’s a totally foreign concept to them!

You are a millionaire (or sometimes, even a billionaire) in comparison to them.

This was brought home to me once when I met a lot of kids in Malawi on a day trek. They never asked me for money. They asked me if a had I spare pen so they could write on scrap paper at school. Had I known they were going to ask this, I would have bought as many cheap blue pens and given them away.

But anyway, lets check them out. The travel version of first world problems versus those in the third world.

More First World Problems Stuff!

How about you – what other travel related ‘First World Problems‘ have you come across? Leave a comment to share with the world!

Check out more at First World Problems: 63 things that totally suck. I’m sure it’s pretty depressing..

This article First World Problems vs Third World Ones – The Travel Version was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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The Henley on Todd Regatta, like the Camel Cup and the Cockroach Races, is another great Australian tradition that is a thin excuse for organising a day of boozing up with your mates.

The thin disguise is a series of ‘boat races’ near Alice Springs. But these aren’t sailing races that occur in a lake or in an ocean. These boat races occur in the dead centre of the driest continent in the world – Australia.

That’s right, these unusual boat races occur in a dry river bed!

Teams enter in a number of categories throughout the day, and usually involve placing some form of flimsy contraption around a group of drunk punters who run up and down the river bed all day.

Ironically, the Henley On Todd Regatta has sometimes been cancelled when it has been raining too much and there is water in the river!

Henley On Todd Regatta Video Footage

Yes, this is all silly stuff! Enjoy the ‘boat racing’.

Click here to view the embedded video.

More Regatta Stuff

For more information on silly festivals, check out The Naked Man Festival: And Other Excuses to Fly Around the World

This article Henley On Todd Regatta in Alice Springs, Northern Territory Australia – Dry River Bed Racing! was first written on Funny Travel Stuff - The Travel Tart Blog

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