The Travis McGee Reader

Dorothy Sebastion?

2012-01-30T19:29:00.000-06:00

Anyway, an armed girl guarding her treasure. Those were the days.

Two Magic Guns

2012-01-29T10:52:00.002-06:00

And one was extra magic. Not only did a brand new 9mm pistol fall from a "case" and go off by itself, but it did so without having been loaded. The empty, self-discharging weapon propelled a projectile though the apartment floor and into the fellow who lives one floor down. The other gun, also brand new, magically disappeared in the few hours after leaving the gun store and before cops came to

The adulation of Ron Paul

2012-01-27T07:06:00.001-06:00

...and while I'm on the subject, let me tip my hat to our grumpy hermit out in the western desert. "Surely there must be some golden mean, in which a person can be credulous enough to still have faith in the political process, without going completely moonbat in the veneration of an individual." That's Joel's reaction -- spot on, if you ask me -- to some nincompoop's screed linking Ron Paul to

The Space-Out Coast

2012-01-27T06:44:00.000-06:00

Down in Florida last night the best line of the cage fight was nonchalantly delivered by Ron Paul. "...that debate doesn't interest me very much." He was addressing the unzipped front-runners, two-handedly swinging their members at one another about whose investments were least horrible. Paul's contribution was his usual, that is, consistent view that (a) presidential debates ought to be about

Traffic-cam extortion

2012-01-26T06:56:00.000-06:00

The story lead is a warm fuzzy for the libertarian soul. "The classic democratic tension between liberty and security was tested once again Wednesday in a debate on legislation to ban traffic-enforcement cameras on Iowa roads..." Even better, liberty won the first of the warmup bouts, 3-0, in subcommittee. The report doesn't mention any great debate about raping the Constitution.* Irritated

Oh you can (kiss?) me on a ...

2012-01-26T06:07:00.002-06:00

I like Greeks well enough. Zorba was cool, and in my youth I thought it would be fun to meet Melina. I've even forgiven them for inventing the Olympics which, over a few thousand years, evolved into an unseemly marketing device that gave Mitt Romney cause to believe he is qualified to administer all the affairs of the United States of America. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Everything below is boring

The magic mirror of Barack Obama

2012-01-24T22:23:00.002-06:00

Spell-binding oratory is always pleasant to hear. Composed of thin air and monstrously questionable assumptions, it still creates a brief mountain top experience, visions of an entire world -- all seven billion of us -- composed of knights and their ladies, never in want, living in noble comradeship, destined by some political magic to live happily ever after as a matter of natural law Which

But the things you will learn from the Yellow an' Brown, they'll help you a lot with the white

2012-01-24T17:59:00.004-06:00

Some folks in Bombay and Tehran are listening to Ron Paul. Those sneaky, oil-starved Indians of the sub-continent dislike our "sanctions" on Iran, so they've plotted with the ayatollahs. The sub-conts will get Iranian oil. The Iranians get gold. It would be fun to turn this into a 21st Century Kipling tale. Gold-laden cargo elephants by the score lumber across the Khyber Pass to a rendezvous

Down with sex

2012-01-23T09:23:00.002-06:00

I see by the news that Mitt is releasing his tax dope tomorrow. Yippie. The Republic is saved. Even better, Newt might have to come clean about how much history he taught to Freddie and Fanny in return for the million-six. Together that's about all we need to know to make an informed choice about who should get to control the nuke codes and the number of Federal Reserve Cartoons Ben Bernanke

Poor Me

2012-01-22T10:14:00.000-06:00

Once in a great while a guy wakes up just plain growly. The overnight fire didn't hold. The coffee tastes bitter. The V8 lacks bite. All three yolks broke when you flipped them. There's just enough biscuit mix left for one tiny, measly bite. The view from the big south window is an insult to the eye, gray sky and snow already becoming dirty. The ancient Mac desktop is cranky. Even the dog is

Friday morning roundup

2012-01-20T09:03:00.000-06:00

--The calendar notwithstanding, stalwarts of the northern plains are looking at the first day of winter, ankle-deep snow, cold enough to make you think about the cost of fuel, and a wind very clever at finding those little cracks and gaps you forgot to recaulk last fall. --The four inches of fresh snow shocked New Dog Libby this morning. She assumed her normal position for answering nature's

Let's run 'em through the chute again, LeRoy

2012-01-19T09:26:00.000-06:00

Re: Iowa Caucuses 2012 We grow hogs pretty good, but it sure shames us we can't count 'em.

Why we're broke -- publik edukasun edition

2012-01-18T09:34:00.000-06:00

Shill we danse in skule like on dansin with the stirs, err, stars? And we kin have peerkie chear leederz two yell spirits for the dancerz 2 cuz we can get the suckers to pay for it. The (Iowa Lakes Community) college's board of trustees ''Tuesday heard requests to offer competitive cheer and competitive dance. Julie Williams, Dean of Students, told trustees research has shown the programs

Warming the cockles of your heart

2012-01-18T08:12:00.000-06:00

Confused and lonely no more, the littlest puppy comes home, wagging its tiny butt and rolling over and over in hopes of a nice snack of .25 ACP. I tip my hat to mommydotguv for returning the little guy to the man from whom it was stolen 30 years ago. --- Title note: Dammit, I forgot what heart cockles are, and with Wiki black I can't look it up. So I put my hat back on to the SOPA freaks.

The New Obama Government: Lean and Mean, Baby

2012-01-18T07:01:00.003-06:00

What you're about to read can be thought of as a practice question for your SATs. If you don't plan to take your SATs, you can think of it as one of those "What's Wrong With This Picture?" features in Mechanix Illustrated in the '60s. President Obama decided to kill the Commerce Department in the name of frugality and a a more streamlined federal government. Less than a week later he made a

Or maybe you're just a bad shot

2012-01-17T11:44:00.001-06:00

Love to own a nice mouflon but too chicken to go to Iraq and and get one? A fellow with a Rocking H brand down in Texas is the man to see. For a little more money you can have your own kudu to pet without having to brave African savannas. Even if your local zoning thugs won't let you keep a back yard mouflon -- or if you can't afford a kudu (which you can't) -- it's an interesting site.

Just housekeeping

2012-01-17T01:22:00.000-06:00

The Mac laptop threw a rod Saturday, and the TMR comes to you via a 20th Century desktop with wide white sidewalls, fender skirts, and a foxtail on the radio antenna. It runs, but the tappet noise is driving me nuts. Expect delays.

Gun auction giggle

2012-01-14T09:27:00.004-06:00

To be sold tomorrow at an auction near me: "Hi-Standard USA Model H-D 22 long rifle, practice gun." I think I'll go and practice bidding; always liked that H-D Military iron, and the "practice" may be a country auctioneer's way of describing a higher-grade target model. H-Ds remind me of English automobiles from my youth -- lots of fun, very sporty, just so long as you don't mind tuning them

Dear Diary

2012-01-13T07:55:00.001-06:00

While trying to decide if I have enough ambition to whip a Big Post into shape, let me share some domestic matters. 1. The cleaning tizzy went well, and I able to receive the unexpected visitors with minimal shame. (No fresh shelf paper was installed in the canned goods locker, of course. That was a joke. I can recall no instance in a long life of having actually laid shelf paper. I think most

But first -- Gun Sale Flash

2012-01-12T11:22:00.001-06:00

How about a chance to buy more than a dozen MI carbines, several GI 1911s and A1s? Or old Colt and SW wheelers, or EBRs by the dozen -- all in one place? And that isn't the half of it. Some 500 guns -- most of them interesting -- go on the block in nine days. It's as good an excuse as you'll ever have to visit Arcadia, Iowa. The link gives you an overview and will take you to each individual

Weather flash; South Carolina flash

2012-01-12T10:55:00.000-06:00

Locally in the Camp J vicinity ... the revised forecast calls for a 60 per cent chance of unexpected visitors, leading to a severe housekeeping event. Be on the lookout for sweeping, dishwashing, gusts of extreme dusting ... along with possible window washing and a lesser chance of shelf paper. ... all resulting in lowered expections for sustained verbal output over the next 8-to-16 hours. ---

Uh oh. Black Helicopter Alert

2012-01-11T19:21:00.000-06:00

The TMR this afternoon suffered a no-knock entry from the Eff Bee Eye snoop service. They found me via Speaker Tweaker who could not possibly be a confidential informant, so I can only suppose he's a listed subsersive, too. It may be too late, but a tinfoil hat goes on my modem right now.

Well I'll be a simulated SOB

2012-01-11T09:57:00.003-06:00

It is against the law in Iowa to pretend to be drunk in the park. I'm safe enough cuz I write most all of my stuff snug in my Camp J sanctuary. But I guess it means I can never go Wi-Fi mobile. --- JAGSC -- anyone-- what the Hell kind of reasoning creates a law like this?

Okay, so I'm ignorant of the law

2012-01-11T09:38:00.001-06:00

I'm not a real criminal, but I play one on the internet, so I'm surprised to find a new crime I didn't know about. Over in Osage, someone called the cops because an ER nurse was acting funny, and the wheels of justice turned. (She) faces one count of possession of drug paraphernalia, one count of simulated public intoxication and one count of theft as well as three counts of possession of a

Note to Roddy McDowell: No, I can't feel the warm anymore

2012-01-11T08:26:00.000-06:00

On this day we depart fantasy and greet the return of reality. Yesterday -- and for a remarkable part of the winter of 2011/'12 -- a tee shirt under flannel under a windbreaker was all we needed topside for outdoor work. I thank all of you who cooperated by venting flourocarbons into the atmosphere. This morning, back inside after a little sunrise exercise at the woodpile, I recall with thanks