That’s right, I said it, it’s too much! Too much to do. Too much stuff. Too much waste.

You know what I am talking about and if you’re a mom you really know and if you’re a new mom you’re probably too tired to read this. Hang on. I have a solution. At least one little way to make life a little easier and a little less cluttered. It’s Lucky Duck Toy Box, online toy rental and delivery (Vancouver & Tri-Cities).

My daughter was only 6 months old when I realized she already had a basket full of toys, many she didn’t play with anymore and many she never did. I couldn’t keep up with the growing pile of toys. It seemed unavoidable. Obviously she would need new and different toys for each stage of development. What’s a mom to do? What I really wanted was a box I could put out on my doorstep where all the outgrown or unused toys would be magically replaced with age appropriate fun toys. So I looked into toy rental. What I found is that toy rental/delivery is available in Singapore, Australia and France but not in Vancouver. In such an environmentally conscious city, I was surprised. So as many mompreneurs do, I decided to create the service I was missing and Lucky Duck Toy Box was born. Now, moms (or dads) have an easy way to have an ever changing selection of fun toys delivered right to their doors and we ensure they are clean and safe including lead testing and keeping on top of the latest toy recalls. Toys that keep up with your changing child and help the planet for our children’s future. Don’t get me started on the impact of cheap toys on the landfill – that’s a whole other blog!

Check out my website (www.luckyducktoybox.com) and please comment. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

All the best,
Michelle Shackleford

p.s. Trust me, it feels great to clear out some of the clutter.

The thing is, with Chip Trips, it’s Canada wide. So we checked out Halifax to see what they might have to offer. We were heading in a few weeks and thought it would be the perfect time to check one of the events out with my parents. Halifax had some cool ones so with a loaded Chip Trips account and pre-paid mastercard, off we went with dreams of The Harbour Hopper.

But it wasn’t meant to be. Out of our 17 day vacation, this was the day it rained. And momma forgot to pack rain clothes. Or anything with legs or sleeves for that matter…..

Fast forward and here we are back in the YVR. We looked at the events offered here and were pretty disappointed with the variety really. There’s a lot, don’t get me wrong, just not a lot for us. Not a lot for a 18 month old toddler. We knew we wanted to do something outside – the weather has been gorgeous – and tried our best to find something that O might enjoy.

Oh, we failed.

We picked the Stanley Park Horse Drawn Carriage. It was an interesting tour, don’t get me wrong. And it was a beautiful tour (Stanley Park, come on, it’s amazing!), but it was an hour tour… with a toddler who didn’t want to sit. AND, it was the last tour of the day so after we had bought our ticket from a snarky teenager, boarded the carriage with a snarky tour guide WHO HATED CHILDREN, and started on our way, we were informed that we were going to be dropped off in another area of the park.

Nice.

Stanley Park is huge. Yeah, ok, so she said it was “only about 5 minutes from where you boarded”, but we were all out of sorts (about 20 of us) and I had a cranky, tired, hungry husband toddler on my hands. And by the way?

Five Minutes My Ass.

Besides the fact that we got lost trying to find our way back to our car, besides the fact that I had a tired little boy on my hands, besides the fact that we should have been told prior to boarding, and besides the fact that the snarky tour guide didn’t even get off her ass to tell us how to find our way back (in fact, she didn’t even POINT us in the right direction, she just said, “go to the right of the pavilion”. WTF?)

We all got lost. And we were all locals.

Anyway, we made it back (hey, I found the old zoo) and stopped at the concession stand to grab a sandwich but they didn’t know how to use both the remainder of the pre-paid mastercard topped up with cash. So the concessionaires were all snarky too.

ARGH.

So, we had a bad experience from the get go BUT it wasn’t the actual program that was the problem. I think the program is pretty good, exept for one thing… it’s all (or a lot) Buy One Get One. And really, who can’t get those coupons anywhere? And the particular outing we chose was just not worth the $29.00. We’re grateful that Frito Lay provided the mastercard gift card to cover that expense, but yeah, I wouldn’t have paid $29.00 for that ride. $15, maybe. Again, one thing I love about the program is that you can redeem your points in any participating province or territory. That is cool. So if you’re vacationing, just check out the website to see what’s offered where you are or where you’re going.

You might find something pretty cool.

Maybe if O was older, we’d have more options, but it’s just not the best for a little one. For him, the best part of the outing was running through the park trying to find our car. And that’s free.

The PURPLE Crying folks are looking for crafty moms and groups to knit or crochet PURPLE newborn baby caps to be given to babies born in BC during the week of November 15th to coincide with Canada’s National Child Day.
 
Create from five to 50 wee hats using any newborn baby cap pattern and a soft baby-friendly PURPLE yarn.
 
If you’re on facebook, then JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP and share the information with your friends and encourage them to knit a few caps over the summer months.
 
PURPLE caps should be mailed by Nov 5, 2010 to:

BC Children’s Hospital:
c/o Claire Yambao
Provincial Program Coordinator, Prevent SBS BC
BC Children’s Hospital
4480 Oak Street, K1-209
Vancouver, BC V6H 3V4
 
By knitting and sending PURPLE newborn baby caps to be given to babies across the province, you will make a difference by:
 
Raising awareness for this life-saving project – Period of PURPLE Crying – Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC. Participating in a growing, province-wide grassroots effort to educate new parents about the normalcy of early infant crying and how to cope with the frustration that can accompany it.
  
The Period of PURPLE Crying – Prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome BC is a part of the most comprehensive shaken baby syndrome prevention initiative in North America. To learn more, visit http://www.PURPLEcrying.info and follow us on Twitter @PurpleCrying

You know, the one with the longest grass on the block. With the most weeds in her garden bed. With the concrete walkway that desperately needs to be pressure-washed. Hell, it needs to be replaced. The one with the dirt stains on her front steps. The one with even more weeds lining up and down her driveway and sprouting up through the cracks. The one with the still-full-of-soil-from-last-year pots, unplanted and tipped over, lining one of her patios. The one with the out-of-control monster rhododendron taking over the fence line… and winning. The one with hostas somewhere in the back yard hidden amongst more weeds. The one with the veggie garden that she was so excited to plant again this year but has been taken over by, wait for it now, MORE WEEDS.

Seriously? I want to sell the house and move to a townhouse complex so it’s all taken care of for you.  I’m that embarrassed.

See, the thing is, that kind of stuff was always a passion of mine. I loved yard work!  I loved doing the lawn (when I had less of it and it wasn’t on a hill!), I loved cleaning the walkways, I loved loved LOVED gardening. Weeding was stress-relief for me. Like typing… kind of just automatic and easy to zone out. And doing the dishes – same thing.  And every year I was always so excited to do my big Rona trip. To buy all the beautiful perennials for my pots. The soil. The gloves. And I’d sit outside on my walkway, surrounded by plants and pots and soil and I’d dig in. And I’d strategize as to what plants should go in what pots. And what area needed a splash of colour. And I’d pour a vodka & lemonade or gin & tonic and I’d be happy as a clam. And I’d take my time setting them up and placing them. And then moving them around until it felt just right. And I’d water them each morning. I’d take my coffee outside and I’d wander around my yard and I’d water them and pull the odd weed out and this is how I greeted the day.

It was my yoga.

Enter baby.

Enter home-based business.

Holy Fuck.

Nothing gets done.  I’m lucky if I even manage to get the dust off the television, let alone clean a toilet. Oh My God. I can’t believe how much time I don’t have.

And see, so something doesn’t get the attention it needs. And by the jesus, it’s not going to be my kid. And so the weeds grow. And so the plants don’t get potted. And so the outside, and a lot of the time the inside, of the house gets neglected.

There’s probably resentment on my husbands part when he sees the laundry piled up and the floor not swept and the clutter on the kitchen counter (and and and….). He complains enough about my cooking for crying out loud, so I can only imagine what he’s not saying, lol! And I’m sure there’s resentment on my direct neighbours part when she looks in our back yard. I mean, I get like that when I look in our back yard!

But you know what?

I have one happy little dude.

And one successful little business.

And I think what I’ve got to do is let go of the self-importance surrounding outside appearances and focus more on taking care of the inside.

Let me back up a bit.

When we found out we were having triplets, after we overcame the initial shock, my wife was put on a diet of 4000 calories a day. Yep, you heard right, 4000 calories! She was eating for four. Suddenly this one time Vegan became a ravenous carnivore that demanded double cheese burgers, fries and chocolate milkshakes. I wish I had stock in her favorite hamburger chain. Their sales must’ve gone through the roof.

And then the “Tittie Fairy” came.

My wife went from a really nice “C” cup to double “F’s”.  All that crap I heard about “Crazy Pregnancy Sex” wasn’t true. She kept saying, “Don’t even think about touching them, THEY HURT!” And then, since she was a high risk pregnancy, our doctor put a ban on sex for the entire duration.

Over the entire period she gained 75 pounds and it was all in front. From behind she didn’t even look pregnant. When she finally delivered, after 36 weeks, she immediately lost 45 pounds in the delivery!

From the moment she went into the hospital to deliver, I’ve been traveling at warp speed through life. My kids were in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for a while before they came home. That was a lot of driving back and forth to the hospital carrying breast milk to give to the nurses, scrubbing up and wearing face masks while there to sit with the babies so that they would bond with me.

One thing that really shocked me was how many of the parents of these Neonatal kids didn’t show up to see their kids! It was a regular conversation between myself and the nurses. My wife and I busted our butts to get in there every possible moment we could. The hospital had professional snugglers come in to hold the babies so that they would get human contact.

When the triplets finally came home, I do remember things like the round the clock feedings every two hours. We went through at least 36 bottles of formula and breast milk a day, and 48 diaper changes. Thank God we had help from relatives and friends, but they could go home after a while.

There is no way anyone could have possibly prepared us for what it was going to like those first six months.  When they finally slept through the night for the first time, my joy was so great I think I actually cried. Even though sleeping through the night actually meant about five straight hours of sleep-hey, I was happy to get that!

Since then things have become a lot better.  We’ve also added another one, my boy Matthew. Things are pretty crazy around here but it’s our state of normal. Would I do it all again?

You bet.

***

John Dadlez, aka, The Mommy Daddy.
I’m a stay at home father of five year old triplets (two boys and a girl) and a three year old boy. I’m a downsized computer professional, laid off four years ago, took the offered package and haven’t looked back since. My wife went back to teaching, she’s great at it, and I get to be home with the kids during the day.

I blog under the name “The Mommydaddy” which came from a kid at my children’s pre-school when he described what I did for a living to another child.

Anyway, as a mom, I’m creeped out to no end. I’m disturbed that there hasn’t been more of an uproar. I’m shocked even. So, my thoughts:

There should never ever ever ever be an ad on television depicting a grown man smiling while daydreaming of children putting hot dogs in their mouths. And the background music? Journey’s, “I Want to Know What Love is”.

A grown man fantasizing about little boys and girls putting something phallic-shaped in their mouths.

Maple Leaf, you failed.

You had me, you almost had me.

Here’s the ad:

** Update: Maple Leaf reached out on Twitter with this: @mapleleafpledge We’ve heard your concerns and appreciate your feedback. We will pass your views along. Thanks **

What that holds, we’ll see I guess.

If you go by ridiculous stereotypes perpetuated by dumb TV shows and Hallmark, you moms out there will buy either beer, a grill, or golf clubs. Even if we don’t drink, can’t cook and don’t play a lick of golf. And if you ask us directly, we’ll probably tell you that we don’t need a present. Our wives and our kids are the only gift we need in this topsy turvy world, and as long as we have you we’re the richest men on the planet. And you know what? That’s true. But it’s not the whole truth.

What I’m about to tell you is going to get me in trouble. Many moms out there will call me an insensitive, immature jerk who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  But the majority of dads will be silently agreeing me and nodding their heads. Because ladies, the truth is…

We want some lovin!

That’s it, laid out plain and simple. Now keep in mind, I’m the parent of a 2-year-old. My first wish for Father’s Day is spending the day with him. But let’s face it, he’s too young to get me a gift. For the first few years, moms are the gift-givers on Father’s Day. So after he goes to bed, that’s when I’m hoping for my present.

I’ve seen some parenting gurus suggest some gifts for Father’s Day and to be honest, I just cringe. There seems to be this need to think outside the box, which may explain why some moms out there have suggested things like Kameleon aromatherapy oils and Adovia Dead Sea Mud and Salts. No offense, but if I opened a package containing mud, salt or aromatherapy oil I would feign appreciation out loud, and then secretly wonder what the hell my wife was thinking.

When it comes to what our wives give us for Father’s Day, there’s no need for them to overthink things. I want my favorite dinner. Steak and potatoes, medium rare. I want to be pardoned from doing chores on Father’s Day. And then, after the kid is in bed, I want sex. And I don’t feel the least bit guilty for saying that.

Let me be clear, only the dads who pull their weight should expect this kind of treatment. If you’re a lazy slob all year then you don’t deserve anything. Father’s Day sex should be like Christmas, because just like Santa knows if you’re naughty or nice, your wife knows if you’ve done the dishes, changed the diapers, taken out the trash, and been a good dad to your kid. This should be something that’s earned, and Father’s Day is our day of appreciation.

And it’s got so much upside. First of all, this gift isn’t costing anything. Dinner is free and you’re literally giving yourself. If you want to spend a little dough on some sexy lingerie, we’re not against that either.

And you may think I’m being crass, but really I’m not. It’s a biological fact men express themselves in a much different (and more physical) way than women. So when we long for some lovin’ all we’re really saying is we want to reconnect with you. And maybe you’re one of those couples who has kids and still manages to fornicate like rabid bunnies. If so, my hats off to you. But that’s not the case with me and I’m willing to bet I’m in the majority. So reconnecting sexually and asking for some TLC on our special day can really be beneficial for both of us.

Unfortunately, most dads I know would never come out and ask for this. We’re afraid of a negative reaction and being mislabeled as nothing more than horny, disgusting perverts. But for all the dads who work their asses off and take their role as a parent seriously, is it really too much to ask for some mattress dancing? I don’t think so.

Look, we’ll love anything you give us (at least we’ll say we do). And yes, it’s the thought that counts. But for most red-blooded American dads, our thoughts are on our sexy wives. So skip the cliches this year. And with the economy in the crapper, save your hard-earned money. Instead, do something that REALLY makes us feel special and remind us of all the fun we used to have in our frisky, younger days.

Happy Father’s Day guys, and best of luck.

***

Daddy Files, aka Aaron Gouveia, is a husband, father of one (soon to be two in December) and a professional journalist living on a tiny peninsula. Always passionate, ever-honest and never one to hold back, the only thing he enjoys more than his wife and toddler are the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics. Check out www.daddyfiles.com for more insanity.

Making someone else feel stupid.

That’s the kind of day I had yesterday. What a freakin’ nightmare. It started off pleasant enough, until I picked up the phone and dialed out.

I had this fantastic surprise for someone. Something they were sure to love, something I know they’ve been wanting just couldn’t find the right one.

Well, I found the right one.

And it’s perfect timing because it’s this person’s anniversary (of sorts).

The thing is, I couldn’t get it without their help. I need them to be with me. So I devised this wicked plan to make it happen. Included blindfolds and driving in circles.

And then I called them.

And they treated me like shit. Spoke to me as though I was slow (worse, actually. If someone is a bit slow, you usually have patience and speak with care.).

Spoke to me in such a condescending and pompous way that it made me cry.

I had a really hard first 6 months of motherhood. I felt stupid enough then. I was talked about behind my back for choices I was making (trying cloth diapers for one. CLOTH DIAPERS! WTF? Why was that a big deal? I still don’t understand that one. And then there was talk of Montessori preschool. THAT went over well….And the exclusive breastfeeding, and the baby-wearing, and and and and…) (Oh, and don’t even get me started about the not wanting to see a fucking soul after 55 hours of labour and a difficult delivery…. and the ruckus THAT caused). I was told some of my choices were strange, wrong, and, well, I won’t go any further. It’s too painful. (And I’m still holding resentment about it that I have not been able to clear. Yet.)

So yeah, I’ve had it up to here with being treated with such a blatant lack of respect, and being treated so poorly. The first 6+ months of O’s life, I took it. It made me cry, it made me sad, it made me feel stupid, it contributed to the PPD. But I took it.

Now?

No fucking way.

The bright side?

Fingers crossed, when I’m getting frustrated with someone else I won’t talk to them that way.

I won’t make them feel the way I felt.