The Twisted Words Of El Super Geeko

The Force Is Strong With These Custom Star Wars Helmets

2012-08-21T14:26:00.000+01:00

Check out these awesome Clone Trooper & Boba Fett helmet mash-ups made by various artists as part of the As You Wish Project.

The As You Wish Project is a charity fundraising event set to auction over 40 redesigned Boba Fett and Clone Trooper helmets in aid of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. The helmets will be exhibited at Star Wars: Celebration VI in Orange County, California for one week and will be sold after the event on Ebay, with all proceeds being donated to the charity.
For those with pockets as deep as the Sarlacc pit, the bidding begins this Thursday.

You can find a link to the auction page below:

As You Wish Helmet Auction Site

This year's As You Wish Project is sponsored by The Dented Helmet, eFX Collectibles, and the 501st & includes over 40 artists, some of which were involved in designing and building the original Star Wars costumes, including Joe Johnston and Sandy Dhuyvetter, who helped design Boba Fett's now iconic armor. The artists have taken inspiration from a variety of places, including movies & history, and the art styles of H.R. Giger & Damien Hirst.

The detail in these customs is incredible, especially with the one pictured below, which has to be one of my personal favourites.

Awesome isn't it? Seriously contemplating selling a Kidney to raise the cash to buy it...

All of the artists have done an incredible job & I'm sure each one will fetch a Jabba's Ransom for the charity.

Hit the jump to check out some more of my favourites and visit the As You Wish Project's web site for more information on each artist and their designs.

All photos courtesy of As You Wish Helmet Project

Cinema Loses One Of Its Greats - Tony Scott Dies Aged 68

2012-08-20T12:02:00.001+01:00

Some truly shitty news comes out of California this morning.

Director Tony Scott has died by apparent suicide at the age of 68. According to sources, Scott left a suicide note in his car before jumping from the Vincent Thomas Bridge near Long Beach (apparently without hesitation) at around lunchtime on Sunday.

Tony Scott (left) And The Vincent Thomas Bridge (Right)

Born in Newcastle in 1944, the younger brother of director (and some time business partner) Ridley Scott, he graduated from the Royal College Of Art with dreams of being a painter, but was tempted into film and TV by his brother.

After spending the early part of his career making adverts, his first full feature came in 1982 with The Hunger. The movie flopped and Scott returned to making adverts for a few more years until he caught the attention of producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer who approached him to make Top Gun after being impressed with an advert he had recently made for Saab showing one of their cars racing a fighter jet. The movie landed in cinemas in 1986, making a star of Tom Cruise and a household name out of Scott.

Scott directs a young Tom Cruise on the set of Top Gun

Scott would go on to direct the likes of True Romance, The Last Boy Scout, Beverly Hills Cop II, Crimson Tide, Enemy Of The State, The Taking Of Pelham 123 and, most recently, runaway train drama Unstoppable, starring Denzel Washington.

As well as directing, the Brothers Scott also tried their hands as producers, helping young filmmakers get their own projects off the ground.

Talking to Empire magazine in 2005 Scott said, “I’m getting younger as I get older. It's also a fear of losing the touch, which is why I keep fucking going. Whether you like the movie or don't like it, as long as people continue to pay me to continue to experiment, I'll keep doing that. I do a lot of research and I get paid to touch these other worlds and I want to keep trying to touch these new worlds and bring them to the screen, whether it's the 18th Street Gang or the Vietnamese Gang, or bounty hunting or whatever it is. I love what I do.”

At the time of his death, he had several projects in varying stages of production including a planned Top Gun sequel and a movie version of the comic book "Nemesis".

Scott is survived by his wife, Donna, and two children.

Thoughts go out to his family and friends at this difficult time.

Boarderland Sexism? Hardly.

2012-08-13T20:35:00.001+01:00

Gearbox Software caused a bit of a stir today with the reveal of the "Best Friends Forever" skill tree for Borderlands 2. How can something with a name lifted straight off a Valentines card cause such a fuss?

Well, dubbed the "Girlfriend" tree by one designer; this particular set of skills specific to the Mechromancer character class, is designed for people that suck at games.

Borderlands 2 lead designer John Hemingway told Eurogamer:

"The design team was looking at the concept art and thought, you know what, this is actually the cutest character we've ever had. I told them I want to make, for the lack of a better term, the girlfriend skill tree. This is, "I love Borderlands and I want to share it with someone, but they suck at first-person shooters. Can we make a skill tree that actually allows them to understand the game and to play the game? That's what our attempt with the Best Friends Forever skill tree is.""

Can't shoot straight? Borderlands 2 has you covered. Sort of.

I can think of a couple of less patronizing terms that don't play to stereotypes that are guaranteed to piss off a cross-section of your gamers... But still, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

In any case, the tree is designed for the noob in your life (whatever their gender/relationship to you), with perks that allow you to shoot without aiming(?) and the ability to summon a large robot whose sole purpose is to sponge enemy fire whilst you scream "which button is reload?!?" at your co-op partner in a blind panic.

Gearbox president Randy Pitchford quickly took to Twitter to defend the comment, claiming the quote was a "personal anecdote" that was being sensationalized by forum users & the increasingly easy to offend PC Brigade, and that the term "Girlfriend Skill Tree" will not be featured in any part of the finished game.

That's good news for all the do-gooders of the internet as they can put their placards down and go back to harassing pages on Facebook safe in the knowledge that this minor non-injustice never nearly almost existed..

Some GiANT news from Marvel at this years SDCC

2012-07-16T18:37:00.000+01:00

I've never been to Comic-Con in San Diego, although I am registered for pre-registration for tickets to next years event (I kid you not, you have to register your interest in registering for tickets before the tickets even exist!) they do NOT make it easy to get your hands on the geek worlds equivalent of one of Wonka's Golden Tickets, so this year, like many others I am left to trawl the internet for info about what went down in Hall H over the weekend.

First up is the news from Marvel Studios, who made some huge announcements on Saturday about what they have planned post Avengers, in what they are calling "Phase Two" of their self-produced movies.

Some of the announcements were expected, whilst others were a bit of a surprise. So, what did we learn?

Well, we learned that Thor 2 will be titled Thor: The Dark World. Captain America 2 will be called Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and confirming recent reports, they announced that their other 2014 release besides Cap 2 will be Guardians of the Galaxy.

I'm guessing that this one will be geared more towards the kids, as I can't see it interesting your average 20 to 30 - something movie goer, who I can imagine will quickly dismiss it as a bit, well, daft really.

Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige confirmed that the lineup of the Guardians for the movie will be the current one from the comic, which means we're talking Star Lord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot and Rocket Raccoon. Yes, you read that right - Rocket Raccoon. Think Bucky O'Hare but, well, a Raccoon. Check out a piece of concept art for the movie unveiled at the 'Con below.

For Thor 2, details were pretty thin on the ground, the below promo image being the only real reveal, sparking speculation as to who or what the main villain/s will be and what story line it will follow.

The Dark World could be a reference to Dark Elves, a powerful race who've been giving Thor a hard time since the 1980s, but rumors have suggested that popular villains The Enchantress and The Executioner (the latter thought to be the role that Mads Mikkelsen was in talks for before dropping out) to be the bad guys in the sequel. So who will be giving Goldilocks a hard time come next Summer? I guess we'll find out soon enough...

In Cap'n America news, Marvel were a little more forthcoming with information on the sequel, what with their subtitle it making it pretty clear where the plot will be heading.

The Winter Soldier is an alias of Bucky Barnes, Cap's best pal & sidekick from the first film, and last seen falling off a train to his death. In the comics, Bucky seemingly perished in the same incident which freezes Steve Rogers, but in a recent plot twist in the comics continuity it turns out that his body (minus an arm he lost in the explosion) was found by a Soviet submarine, taken back to the USSR, where he's rehabilitated, albeit with a total loss of memory, and trained to be an assassin (The Barnes Identity?).

Although I imagine that his role won't be strictly villainous , I'm expecting a 3rd act crisis of conscience plot twist leading to him and Cap save the day from another baddie, perhaps Winter Soldiers current employer? Maybe it'll be a returning Red Skull, or Arnim Zola? Or even Baron Zemo being the real antagonist. Either way, this story will give a nice emotional weight to the plot, which will play well with Cap's difficulty to adapt to modern life in the Avengers.

For Iron-Man 3, there have been some sketchy details floating around about Marvel's next picture for a while now but the biggest news from the panel came in the confirmation that Ben Kingsley will be playing Tony Stark's arch-nemesis The Mandarin. Hinted at in the first film, but ditched by director Shane Black, who dismissed him as a "racist caricature," clearly a new take has been found, with Kingley's voice ominously narrating over the promo footage: "Some people call me a terrorist. I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one: Heroes. There is no such thing. As you cry out for mercy, you will be silenced."

It's not yet clear how he'll fit into the rest of the plot which looks set to follow the "Extremis" run in the comics by Warren Ellis, which focused on nanotechnology, but other than a few brief shots of him in full garb (along with a confirmation that War Machine's new armor is red, white & blue, modelled after the Iron Patriot character), very little else was revealed about Ol' Mandi. They did have a nice stand showing off the new armor for the film though.

But that wasn't all Marvel revealed. To finish out the panel they brought out writer-director Edgar Wright who showed the excited crowd his recently filmed test footage for Ant-Man.

Unfortunately there is no shaky camera phone footage on Youtube of the test reel so you'll have to make do with this description of it from Screenrant.com

Opening shot pans down from inside a vent looking down a brightly lit hallway, lined with silver colored panels. Inside the vent is a very small Ant-Man looking down the hallway to a door at the end, guarded by two men in suits.
Angle changes to corridor looking up to vent and we see little Ant-Man jumping down, changing size to normal as the armed men pull out side-arms to shoot.
Ant-Man shrinks, jumps up and we see a slow-mo shot of him punching the guard to his in the mouth.
Ant-Man goes full size as he engages the second guard, shrinks again as he jumps and grabs the guard’s tie, going full-size as he goes over and using the momentum to flip the guard over his should through a glass window.
Ant-Man, then patiently walks and enters the elevator door as a few more glass bits fall from the window.

According to people lucky enough to see the footage, Ant-Man’s helmet concealed his face entirely but is very similar to the books, but having a slightly more dive suit feel to it.

As for who will fill the tiny boots of Dr Hank Pym, Wright joked that Ant-Man has actually been here all day in the audience, before placing an Ant-Man name tag on the table. Wright also hinted at a possible tag line for the movie, saying after the footage: “Ant-Man will kick you ass one inch at a time.”

Well, it looks like it's going to be a good couple of years for Marvel fans.
If this doesn't prompt DC to pull their collective finger out of their power ring I don't know what will...

Next Stop: LV426? - Paris Train Station Gets An Alien Make Over

2012-05-21T18:22:00.001+01:00

The marketing campaign for Ridley Scotts long awaited return to the Alien universe has already bucked the trend of simply releasing trailer after trailer showing maybe 3-4 seconds of extra footage in favour of some incredible viral marketing videos, and now they've stepped up their game once again. This time by recreating a part of the movies setting - in a disused subway station in France!

This train is for Fiorina 161, The next station is Prometheus.

Closed in 1939, The Saint-Martin subway station in Paris has been transformed into the surface of the alien world which our intrepid explorers/xeno-bait from Weyland Industries will be running through terrified when we finally get to see the film when it releases next month.

By the looks of it, passengers won’t be able to get off and have a nosey; instead merely being able to snatch glimpses of it as their train passes by. Probably for the best really as I imagine the large stone head pictured below would make it's way into a fans home before long (although I think they might need a power loader to move it...)

Where d'ya want it? Bay 12?

I'm a massive fan of viral marketing, especially when it's done well and this is one of the best I've seen so far. If your yet to see the other videos released promoting Prometheus you can find links for them below. If your a fan of the franchise and are excited about seeing the film you should definitely take a look as they truly are something else ("Happy Birthday, David" being my favourite so far).

Check out video below, filmed from inside a passing car (and keep watching after the train stops if you fancy watching a French couple swap spit in a way that'd make a Facehugger blush....

The film hits theatres June 8 and stars Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce & Patrick Wilson and I CAN NOT WAIT!!!

Follow the links below to check out the previous viral videos and then curse the fact we don't have hyper sleep to put ourselves in so June comes that little bit quicker.

TED 2023 Peter Weyland Talk

Happy Birthday, David

Quiet Eye

New Assassins Creed 3 Gameplay Trailer Is Awesome!

2012-05-10T19:28:00.001+01:00

Unfazed by lawsuits and angry authors, Ubisoft released the first gameplay trailer for Assassin’s Creed 3 today and damn does it look good!

You can clearly see from the trailer below that this is no half-arsed sequel like Brotherhood & Revelations and that claims by the developers that this is the biggest and most ambitious entry in the series yet now seem more than just empty promises.

Yeah, I said it. Brotherhood sucked!

Anyway, the clip is chock full of awesome and gives us a peak at new combat, weapons, moves, and free-running tricks that make the previous games look like Tenchu for the PS1.

The story takes place between 1753 and 1783, across the American frontier so there aren't going to be many building to climb. Plenty of trees though.

As much of the game takes place out in the sticks instead of the ever familiar busy market places, it looks like you will now have to blend into nature to remain hidden from those pesky Templar's (new stealth system perhaps?). Luckily, Assassin’s Creed 3’s fancy new frontier locations aren’t just cut & paste forests that all look the same, offering little interaction. It looks like Connor can free-run through them just like his ancestors would run across rooftops in the previous Assassin’s Creed games.

Check out the trailer below.

You can see in the video that Conner has got a a few new free running moves including floor slides, and the option of skipping THROUGH a building whilst fleeing on the roof tops of a town. That might have been my favorite bit of the trailer...

It also looks like the combat systems had an upgrade too. No more Templar drones waiting patiently for their turn to have a stabby cuddle or waiting for your enemies to attack before running them through Swashbuckler style! Now it looks like you'll be dodging attacks, turning enemies attacks against them, and even forcing them to attack each other. Hopefully it plays as well as it looks as the combat in Ass Creed has always been one of its biggest flaws.

Hopefully, this ends up being the game that the last two promised to be before falling flat on their Assassin asses, delivering little more than padding to what was essentially, still the second game.

Assassins Creed 3 is pegged for a 31st October release this year.

Bad News For Bioshock Fans.

2012-05-09T18:19:00.001+01:00

A bit of bad news for Bioshock fans today.

Irrational and 2K Games announced earlier that Bioshock Infinites October 16th release date has slipped back to February next year. Balls. Looks like we'll have to wait a few more months to explore the shiny floating dystopia of Columbia.

In an open letter released today (you can read it in full after the jump), the game's Creative Director, Ken Levine explained that this would give the developers time to fine tune the game, making it, in his own words "Even more extraordinary".

Now, I don't know about you but I think this game already looks incredible, but if 2K Games think they can make it even better, I'll wait as long as they want.

Here's the official message from Ken Levine.

When we announced the release date of BioShock Infinite in March, we felt pretty good about the timing.

Since then, we’ve come to realize that some specific tweaks and improvements will make Infinite into something even more extraordinary. Therefore, to give our talented team the time they need, we’ve decided to move the game’s release to February 26, 2013. We wanted to let our loyal (and very patient!) fans know this as soon as possible.

I won’t kid you: BioShock Infinite is a very big game, and we’re doing things that no one has ever done in a first-person shooter. We had a similar experience with the original BioShock, which was delayed several months as our original ship date drew near. Why? Because the Big Daddies weren’t the Big Daddies you’ve since come to know and love. Because Andrew Ryan’s golf club didn’t have exactly the right swing. Because Rapture needed one more coat of grimy Art Deco.

The same principle now applies to BioShock Infinite.
What does this mean for you? It means a bit more waiting, but more importantly, it means an even better BioShock Infinite. The great can be made greater, and we owe it to both ourselves and to you, our fans, to take this opportunity. Irrational Games is one of those rare developers lucky enough to ask the people who sign the checks: “Hey, can we have a few more of those checks?”

We are also going to hold off on showing BioShock Infinite at the big events of the summer, like E3 and Gamescom. That way, the next time you see our game, it will be essentially the product we intend to put in the box. Preparing for these events takes time away from development, time we’re going to use instead to get the best version of Infinite into your hands in February.

So, no E3 coverage either? Double Balls. I get where the guys coming from, he'd rather piss of the fans by making them wait a little longer if it means delivering a better, more polished experience.

The new release date is February 26th 2013 so we've got a long wait ahead of us, although I've been waiting for years for Half Life 3 so a few months for Bioshock should be a cake walk.

In the mean time, if you want to tease yourself with videos and info about the game & it's enemies, check out my previous posts about the games "Heavy Hitters""The Boys of Silence" and "The Handy Men" by clicking the links.

Apocalypse Pizza & Video - We Deliver Your Order Amidst The Chaos

2012-04-30T18:21:00.001+01:00

When civilisation as we know it comes crashing down around our heads and hordes of the undead fill the streets, one question more than any other will be asked in hushed tones inside safe houses across the globe:

"Where can I order a Pizza and a movie for me and my fellow survivors to enjoy whilst hiding away from scores of brain munching zombies amassed outside?"

Well luckily, Apocalypse Pizza & Video will have you covered.

Directed by French film maker Andres Fernandez, Apocalypse Pizza & Video is an animated "Zomedy" (What?! It's a word! And if it wasn't, it is now!) which, going by this awesome trailer looks set to be full of guts, gore, adult humour and deep pan carnage. The story centres on a team of three fearless survivors that will deliver food and entertainment right to your door (providing you haven't destroyed those stairs yet...) in the middle of the zombie apocalypse.

Now THATS what I call service!

Check out the cool as hell trailer below:

I love the animation style here, it reminds me of Tex Avery & John K as well as the more recent mindfuck-thrill rides "Dead Leaves" & Rob Zombies "Haunted World of El Super Beasto".

This definitely looks like one cartoon your better off watching after your sprogs go to bed, unless masturbating delivery men and zombie toddlers getting their faces blown off is something you think your kids would enjoy?

This looks like its going to be one hell of an entertaining watch and I can't wait to see it!
No release date yet, but as soon as one surfaces I'll let you know.

Now where did I put that menu...

Happy Birthday ZX80! - The Little Kilobyte That Could Turns 30

2012-04-23T19:06:00.003+01:00

I imagine that in 1982, trying to find someone who could use a computer, let alone someone who owned one wasn't easy. Back then when the ZX Spectrum first launched, computers were expensive, chunky, and complicated.

We've com a looooong way, Baby!

British company Sinclair Research wanted to change all that. Aiming to produce computers which were affordable, simple to use and, by 80's standards, compact. the ZX80 was its first attempt.

The ZX80 - Amazing to think this was cutting edge only 30 years ago

£100 bought you a basic model with a whopping 1KB of RAM and that iconic (& shitty) membrane keyboard. The ZX81 arrived a year later, using the same Z80 processor & 1KB of RAM, but it was cheaper (yours for around £70) and it came housed in a slick black case complete with the same shitty membrane keyboard of its predecessor.

The ZX81 - Sleeker & Cheaper.

And later with added rainbows.

The ZX Spectrum is largely responsible for starting the home computing revolution in the UK. Released on the 23rd of April 1982, it was small, you didn’t need a monitor – any TV would do, and while the use of cassette tapes as a storage medium for games and software might sound like madness to younger ears, this made games (or at least copies of them) relatively cheap.

Although I was only young when we got our first computer (a Commodore) owning one at the time brought with it a range of experiences which have now passed on into electronic legend. Who could forget the seemingly endless wait for a game to load as you stared at an ever strobing 8-bit Jackson Pollock while the screeches and beeps coming from the machine filled your living room? (The “Beeee beep. Beee dee diddly-diddly” sound computers made as they dumped the info from the tapes into the computers memory have been seared into the eardrums of older gamers like a sort of nostalgic Tinnitus).

And People Complain About Skyrims Loading Screens...

Then there were magazines with type-in games which never worked. You would spend hours sitting patiently as a parent or sibling would read out each line of code as you clumsily typed it in with one finger only to finish and excitedly hit run, play 3-4 minutes of the game then have it crash on you.

Despite its technical flaws, the ZX Spectrum is still one of the most celebrated home computers of its time. Other machines may have been more powerful, but it was the Spectrum more than any other, which helped inspire a generation of teenagers into learning how to program, which in turn helped build the UK games industry that dominated the market throughout the 90's console boom.

So raise a glass for the little Kilo-byte that could as it celebrates it's 30th birthday, it deserves it.

Plagiarism Or A Tenuous "Link"? - Author sues Ubisoft

2012-04-19T17:42:00.001+01:00

American science fiction author John L. Beiswenger is having a stab at suing Ubisoft over alleged similarities between his novel "Link", and the Assassin's Creed franchise. This isn't the first time someone has tried to call "minesies" on a rather lucrative intellectual property but this guys claims may actually have some weight.

Plagiarism or a tenuous Link?

The main point of the authors suit is that the premise of his novel; that the memories of an Ancestor can be "accessed, recalled, relived and re-experienced" by using a nifty gadget called a "Bio-synthesizer" has been ripped off by Ubisoft, with nothing more than a name change to hide it.

Now I'll admit that that does sound quite similar to Ass Creeds "Animus", but then again I don't think that Beiswenger solely owns the rights to the concept of Memetic Legacy...

The suit goes on to list other thematic similarities, including "spiritual and biblical tones, with references made to Jesus and God, the Garden of Eden, and forbidden fruit." as well as the experiencing of "accurate historical moments through their ancestors' memories."

But what if all your ancestors where boring?

Link also includes a number of assassinations in relation to this new process, although again, I don't think industrial espionage is anything new either... The legal document cites a number of extracts from the book, including this from page 290:

""If John Wilkes Booth fathered a child after he assassinated Lincoln, and we found a descendant alive today, we could place Booth at the scene and perhaps smell the gunpowder." "Your talking about Ancestral memories? How far back can you go?" "As far back as you want."

O.K, starting to sound quite similar now...

Beiswenger is seeking damages for each Assassin's Creed product released by Ubisoft since the franchise was established back in 2007. This would include all four games, their guide-books, the comic series, a novel, a short movie and two trailers. That's a whole lotta damages...

$1.05 million in damages to be exact. The suit requests that no less than this amount be awarded to Beiswenger, with the amount rising to a whopping $5.25 million if the judge rules that Ubisoft willfully infringed his copyrights. If the latter happens, this could mean that the judge would have no choice but to prevent the release of Assassin's Creed III and all future related products which may well lead to the author getting a swift wristblade to the back of the neck next time he's in a busy market place...

How dare you ask for recognition for your own work?! Requiescat in pace scribe!

Nothing is true, everything is permitted indeed...

Zombie Apocalypse: Are You Prepared?

2012-04-11T19:50:00.000+01:00

Zombies. They're coming sooner or later, it's inevitable. Question is, are you prepared?

Be prepared or be Zombie food.

If the killer robots don't get us first, those undead rotten bastards will. When Hell fills up and the dead walk the Earth you should already be (at least a little) prepared & if your not, then don't come crying to me when the shit goes down. I'm all good to go. A pack with survival essentials, a meeting point for me & my buddies and a good solid weapon are all packed and stored away in an easy to reach location for when the breakout starts. You wont get one up on me Apocalypse!

Required reading if you want to survive.
Max Brooks knows his shit.

If your not prepared and end up getting caught with your pants down and nothing but a fork to protect yourself with, Map of the Dead.Com can help. Just stick in your location and, using Google Maps, it will break down the locations indexed by Google and highlight in red, the areas most highly populated & therefore most likely to be teeming with Z-Heads. It also points out where your nearest landmarks, supermarkets, shopping centres, military bases, petrol stations, hospitals, camp grounds, radio towers, and even grave yards are so you know where to go to stock up on supplies or head for sanctuary (or in the case of the grave yards, avoid them like eggs at a buffet).

Just don't get comfy and stay too long...

Obviously any highly populated city is going to be dangerous. But with careful planning & plenty of forethought, even the meekest can survive. As you can see in the image below the area around my house looks fairly safe although I live within walking distance of 3 schools, 4 pubs and the Town centre so I'm taking no chances.

Now obviously the internet is going to go down at some point during the outbreak , so be sure to print out a hard copy or mark what you need on a real map put it with whatever else you have packed for when Z-Day comes.

Good luck and don't forget:

AIM FOR THE HEAD & DESTROY THE BRAIN!

A Thousand Kisses Deep - Not An Underground Romcom

2012-04-04T17:48:00.001+01:00

If I had to guess what type of film "A Thousand Kisses Deep" was without knowing anything about it, I would probably think it was some sort of saccharine sweet Romcom. Something starring the standard girl next door/greasy douche bag combo who spend an hour and a half gawping at each other as the standard "will they? wont they?" horse shit plot unfolds to its soppy conclusion. Maybe it takes place deep underground...

Something like this.
Don't you just want to punch them?

Well I'd be wrong. Turns out it's a British made psychological thriller, directed by Dana Lustig (Wild Cherry, Stranger Than Fiction) starring Emila Fox, Jodie Whittaker and Dougray Scott.

I'll put the trailer before the plot run down because it gives quite a bit away in terms of the stories twists & turns, and you might think it a bit spoiler-y.

Spolier-y(ish) bits below!

Plot Synopsis:

Returning home from work, Mia (Jodie Whittaker – Good, Venus, St. Trinian’s & St. Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold) witnesses an aged woman leap from a window. Scattered around the old woman’s broken, lifeless body Mia discovers shredded pieces from a beloved photograph of herself and her former lover Ludwig (Dougray Scott – Hitman, Enigma, Mission Impossible II).

Highly unnerved, Mia begs Max (David Warner - Avatar, Planet of the Apes, Titanic ), the buildings’ all knowing custodian, to let her into the deceased woman’s flat. While inside this strangely familiar place, Mia recognises the contents as her own.

Confused and disturbed by what lies before her, she bolts back and forth in time where she is forced to realise it was her very own life that ended before her. Now, the only way to safeguard her future is to go back to her past and confront the man she loves deeply but dreads most.”

Not a Romcom at the centre of the Earth then.

There you go. Psychological thriller with a Sci-Fi twist. It'll be interesting to see Jodie Whittaker take a leading role, she was good in Attack the Block and Black Mirror so it'll be interesting to see if she can carry an entire film by herself.

For me, films like this are always a welcome break from the tide of remakes & Michael Bay explodo-fests currently being released so I'll definitely be checking this out.

A Thousand Kisses Deep hits cinemas June 15th.

What It Lacks In Clowns, It Makes Up For In Crazy - David Lynch Music Video

2012-04-03T17:29:00.003+01:00

Check out this bat-shit crazy music video from movie director, song writer and all round weird dude David Lynch.

The title track from his album "Crazy Clown Time" released via Sunday Best Recordings, is far from catchy, and is unlikely to be topping the charts any time soon but it is definitely contender for the weirdest video I've seen in a while & is cool as hell to boot!

From what I can tell the narrator/singer/whatever is supposed to be a child trying to explain what they saw happening at a party for adults, which just makes the video that little bit creepier (not that it needs help), but I could be wrong...

I think its easier for you to just watch it & judge for yourself.

WARNING: NSFW due to the presence of massive, badly censored breasts & other Lynchian business.

You can't unwatch it now.

If you want to grab a copy of his album, head over to Davidlynch.com and check out the awesome collectors editions he's got for sale.

Need more Lynch now? Check out this short video below of the weird one offering his thoughts on why some children are scared of Clowns.

Batman + Lego = Awesome! Dark Knight Rises Trailer Recreated With Lego

2012-04-02T18:31:00.000+01:00

If you ask me there is nothing in this world that can't be made better with Lego.

Unless it's Glee.

Nothing can save that "twee as a Baby riding a Unicorn over a rainbow" garbage. Not even a story arc involving a serial killer with sensitive ears and a dislike for catchy pop songs, but I digress.

I'd rather eat all these Legos
than watch 5 minutes of Glee

The internet is full of awesome people doing awesome stuff with Lego, as the custom BTTF Delorian I posted about the other week goes to show; but what's better than building something cool out of Lego? Building something cool out of Lego then making stop motion animations with it! There are a lot of these on Youtube, some are good, some... not so good, but this trailer for "The Dark Knight Rises" made entirely out of those little plastic foot killers is absolutely amazing.

Bane even looks awesome as a mini-fig!

Made by Forrest Fire Films, this has to be one of the most impressive Lego animations I've ever seen, not to mention the most accurate when compared to the "real-life" version.

Check out the 1 minute 30-odd seconds of all plastic awesome below:

Now watch the original trailer:

Pretty impressive right?

I'd love to see a full length Lego Batman movie, but I guess I'll have to make do with "The Dark Knight Rises" (filmed with boring humans) when it hits cinemas this summer.

Head over to Forrest Fire Films Youtube channel here to see some more of the awesome Lego animations they've done.

Bioshock Movie Flushed?

2012-03-26T18:00:00.005+01:00

So it seems the Bioshock film has been shelved. Again.

Gore Verbinski had already recently stepped down as producer, leaving Juan Carlor Fresnadillo sat in the directors chair with his thumb up his ass, and now its seems he's had enough of waiting and is off to butcher The Highlander.

Done right this film could be awesome!

While its the general consensus that films based on videogames generally suck pixelated wang (excluding Mortal Kombat, of course) gamers & movie fans alike are excited about an adaptation of "Bioshock."

The game and its sequel are both beautiful, brutal, and disquieting tales of mystery & Science fiction that take place in the abandoned underwater Utopia of Rapture; stories that, with the right director (and budget) could really be something special.

But they said that about Resident Evil, and look how much that sucked.

Its hardly even got any Zombies in it...

Speaking to Indywire during press rounds for his latest film, "Intruders." the director had this to say: "Right now it’s on hold. The studio and the videogame company, they have to reach some kind of agreement about the budget and the rating." It's been this way for a long time and it's not likely to change, with studios tightening their purse-straps, seeing how a massive videogame fanbase doesn't always equal massive box office dollars, particularly with a restrictive R-rating."

Try getting that in a 12A

So there you have it. Until Hollywood & Irrational Games sort their shit out, we're not going to see this made. Seems like Bioshock is doomed to suffer the same fate as the Neill Blomkamp directed Halo movie.

With the average age of a gamer now resting in the mid 20's, as well as a lot of the bigger games releases being 18 certificates, it seems stupid that Hollywood are reluctant to spend a little money on making something a little more mature than a toy line tie-in out of videogame franchises, opting instead for 12A films based on boardgames.

Check out the awesome fan-made Bioshock short movie above and curse those tight fisted bastards in Hollywood for not taking more gambles.

David Cronenberg's "Cosmopolis" Teaser Trailer

2012-03-22T21:52:00.000+00:00

Check out the trailer for the new David Cronenberg film: "COSMOPOLIS" an adaptation of the Don DeLillo book about a 28 year-old billionaire who crosses Manhattan for a haircut. Sounds about right for a film with Sparkles McDouchenstein in it... But this is a Cronenberg movie so I'm not writing it off just yet.

Sourpuss Gets a Haircut (Working Title)

The story follows Eric Packer. A young billionaire financier who, whilst on his way to have his mop chopped, manages to lose all of his wealth by betting against the rise of the Yen.

Still sounds a bit dull, right? But like I said this is Cronenberg, I'm sure he can pull it off.

Along the way, Packer's voyage is obstructed by traffic jams caused by a Presidential visit to the city, a funeral procession for a rap star and a full-fledged riot. He also has several chance meetings with his wife in very strange locations & is stalked by two men, a comical "pastry assassin" and an unstable "credible threat".

OK, maybe there's a bit more to it than haircuts...

Now it sounds a bit more interesting... I'm sure it'll have all the hallmarks of a Cronenberg classic as well, so I'll definitely be giving this a watch. R-Twatz or not.

Check out the teaser below, and be prepared to come to terms with the fact that you might want to go see something starring the guy who played a less convincing Vampire than The Count from Sesame Street.

COSMOPOLIS stars Robert Pattinson, Juliette Binoche, Paul Giamatti, Samantha Morton, Mathieu Amalric, Kevin Durand & Sarah Gadon and is set for a May 23rd release in France. And over here? No release date set yet so who knows...

Thats Just Creepy... Meet Bioshock: Infinites "Boys of Silence"

2012-03-21T13:48:00.001+00:00

2K Games have released info on yet another one of the terrifying mini-boss type enemies you will be squaring off against in Bioshock: Infinite.

Boys Of Silence
Sounds like a Christian Boy Band...

First it was a Clockwork George Washington with a Mini gun, then the massive dudes with the giant porcelain hands. Both pretty formidable, but BioShock Infinite's latest "heavy hitter", the "Boys of Silence" are definitely the creepiest of the bunch.

Creepy eh?

Instead of using brute force and heavy weapons, these guys use sound — but that's all they need. When encountering the Boys of Silence, the player can choose to sneak past these eyeless, horn-eared freaks or engage them directly. Be warned though, because despite the name, these guys are far from silent & will call all their friends to the party if you don't dispatch them quickly.

This is the penultimate video in "2K's "Heavy Hitters" series, and I can't wait to see what they've saved for last. Although I can't imagine anything creepier than ol' Horn face here.

Bioshock: Infinite releases 16th October this year & looks like its going to be awesome.

All Hands And No Manners:- Meet Bioshock: Infinites "Handymen"

2012-03-21T12:44:00.001+00:00

Today 2K Games released some info on another one of the enemies you will be facing in Bioshock: Infinite when you finally get to explore Columbia - the games new setting, later this year.

Columbia: A far cry from the cramped city of Rapture.

The info came in the form of a trailer posted on Machinima's Youtube Page & gives a sneak peak at the design process behind "The Handymen" - hulking great cyborgs that tower above the player & make the Big Daddy seen in previous games look like a Little Bitch.

As you can see, they seem far more agile, and therefore way more deadly than a Big Daddy & that can only be a bad thing (for both the gamer & whoever washes their undies...).

Big Daddies couldn't do that!

I personally love the Bioshock games & cannot wait for this game to release. It'll be interesting to see how the new gameplay mechanics and change of location from the grimy, claustrophobic, under water city of Rapture to the pristine floating City paradise of Columbia effects the overall feel of the game, although I trust in 2K games and expect it will be just as immersive as the previous games.

Bioshock: Infinite is pegged for release 16th October this year.
If you haven't already, check out the awesome 10 minute gameplay demo above then curse the calender that October is so far away...

Great Scott! Amazing Lego DeLorian

2012-03-20T15:20:00.000+00:00

Check out this amazing 1:15 model of the DeLorian from Back to the Future 2 built entirely out of LEGO!

Built by LEGO artist Orion Pax (Alex Jones) using nothing but standard bricks (& a coat of silver paint, but we'll let him off), this is his third and final attempt at the iconic time travelling vehicle & I think you'll agree it's pretty accurate. According to Alex it took around 20 hours to build, and includes working gull-wing doors, wheels that fold-up for "hover mode", and even a tiny Mr. Fusion on the back. All its missing is a miniature copy of the Sports Almanac & Hoverboard in the back.

Check out these other pictures below to truly appreciate the amount of time & detail that has gone in to making this.

Alex is also responsible for this amazing recreation of Down Town Hill Valley from the film:

The picture above doesn't do justice to this masterpiece of Lego so head over to Alex's Flickr page to check out some more detailed shots of this as well as his previous projects including M.A.S.K, Jayce & The Wheeled Warriors, Ghostbusters, G.I. JOE, Turtles & more blasts from the past!

Orion Pax's (Alex Jones) Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/orion_pax/

Now where can I find me some LEGO...

Swanky New Banner!

2012-03-20T09:46:00.001+00:00

Check out the awesome new banner Patrick over @Draw Me Something.com did for me!

Sweet eh?

The guys over at Draw Me Something do exactly what you'd expect: you think of something for them to draw, they pick ones they like the most & draw them. The requests can be funny, serious, random, anything your warped little mind can come up with.

They don’t judge, they just draw.

For example if you ask them "Can you draw me Elmo popping out of Barney’s chest (Alien Style)?"

Then you get something like this:

Thats gotta Hurt! (Gedditt?!)

Maybe you've always dreamed of seeing a posh T-Rex drinking Tea? They've got you covered.

Jurassic Park IV?

Or perhaps you'd like to see Yoda in a nursing home trying to get laid by using the Force? Like I said, they don't judge (or pass your details on to the authorities) they just draw.

Slowly, take it off you will.

I've requested a picture of Toe Jam & Earl and Jay & Silent Bob hanging around outside Funkotrons own version of the Quick Stop & can't wait to see it!

Requests can be made on the Requests Page over on their website or on their Facebook and Twitter pages.

If your request is REALLY bizarre and you'd prefer to remain anonymous (or you have a question) you can send them to requests@drawmesomething.com

Go check it out & make a request.

Let Sleeping Turtles Lie

2012-03-19T17:19:00.001+00:00

When I read last week that they were going to be making a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, I knew not to expect much.

Then I found out Michael Bay was producing it & Jonathan Liebesman (the guy responsible for Battle: Los Angeles) was directing it, I figured that makes sense, who better to ruin another childhood memory than the guy who butchered Transformers & his explosion loving, plot hating friend?

This is not a Transformer

THIS is a Transformer

Then I saw the short video below & I lost my shit.

Aliens? Are you fucking kidding me?

As a kid I loved the Turtles, maybe even more than Star Wars. I had all the toys, the bed sheets, curtains, you name it, if it had those four wise cracking, Pizza loving "Heroes in a half shell" on it - I had it. I once even tried to colour myself in green using felt tipped pens but emerged from my room crying after only making it to my left elbow before running out of green pens, I wanted to be a Turtle that much!

I'm not expecting him to make a Turtle film aimed at 25-30 year olds in an attempt to capture the nostalgia market, we don't buy enough toys, but why not make them Dolphins instead of Turtles, maybe have them know Judo instead? Make something even slightly original & shit instead of just raping another much loved 80's/90's franchise without even having the decency to lube up first?

TURTLE POWER!

I suppose we should be thankful that he's changing the name to simply "Ninja Turtles", so as to distance it from the many other remakes/reboots/regurgitations this once massive franchise has previously endured but still, I think they should just leave well enough alone.

The Turtles have had their day.

I think this movie is going to suck & I'll be staying well away from it, instead getting my nostalgia trips from the original (& best) Turtle movie & the original animated show from the 90's but I'm sure this'll make an ass load of cash regardless of how bad it is or how much Bay & his friends fuck with the story

Watch the intro for the 90's TV show above & join me in remembering just how awesome they were.

Loveable Turtle-esque Alien Ninjas is pegged for a Summer 2013 release, so hopefully the Mayans where right & we'll all be dead by then...

Awesome New Prometheus Trailer!

2012-03-17T17:52:00.001+00:00

UPDATE

New full HD UK Trailer now available on Youtube, now with extra added "HO-LY SHIT!"

A new full trailer for Ridley Scotts "Prometheus" hit the internet today, & I'll be honest, I got so excited watching it I think a little wee came out.

Ridley Scott returns to the Alien franchise.
Sort of...

Prometheus could be considered a prequel of sorts to Alien - also directed by Scott, but according to the director: Although it shares "strands of Alien's DNA, so to speak", and takes place in the same universe, the film will explore its own mythology and ideas.

Call it whatever you want but the crew all work for Weyland Industries, its got the "Space Jockeys" we see a glimpse of in Alien in it, & it uses the same eerie music in the trailer, that's enough of a connection for me.

Look familiar?

Here's a brief outline of the plot:

A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

And the new trailer:

The movie stars Noomi Rapace, Charlize Theron and Patrick Wilson & was written by Damon Lindelof.

Prometheus is set for release June 8th.

Iron Sky: Or "Space Nazis From The Dark Side Of The Moon!"

2012-03-16T17:03:00.000+00:00

I only heard about this film a few weeks ago but as soon as I saw the trailer I couldn't wait to see it.

The basic plot here is Nazis set up a secret base on the moon in 1945 where they hide out and plan to return to power in 2018. Now I'm not really too fussed about plot, as they had me at "Space Nazi" but looking at the trailers it actually looks pretty good. Daft, but good. Kind of like Dead Snow or Shaun of the Dead.

Whatever will those pesky Nazis think of next?

This Sci-Fi/Action/Comedy is directed by a guy called Timo Vuorensola. I have no idea who that is but according to his IMDB page, he's the lead singer in a Finnish black metal industrial noise band called Älymystö so he must be pretty cool (if not a little moody?).

Check out the trailer below:

Looks pretty awesome eh?

Hit the jump for another trailer & the first four minutes of the film.
Check out this trailer & more over at the official Youtube page

And the first four minutes of the movie.

Iron Sky releases April 20th, now if you'll excuse me, I've got some preparation to do for 2018, you know... just in case.

We Can Remake It For You Wholesale

2012-03-15T17:57:00.003+00:00

An International Promo Trailer for Total Recall, the latest movie "reboot" Hollywoods big brains thought would be a good idea, hit the internet today and surprisingly enough it doesn't fill me with overwhelming nerd rage.

Nerd Rage: No laughing matter

Although it's only short, it gives you a good idea of what the film will look like when it finally gets its ass to ~~Mars~~ sorry, cinema's in August.

Memory of a life time or instantly forgettable?
We'll have to wait till August to find out.

This telling of Phillip K. Dicks short story (or novelette if you want to be a dick about it) "We can remember it for you wholesale" is directed by Len Wiseman & stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, and Bill Nighy. This time we see the setting move from Mars to a Fascist future where Euroamerica (formerly the United States) and New Shanghai (formerly China) fight for political power, & looks set to blur the line between fantasy & reality more than the Paul Verhoeven version from back in 1990 did.

Can Colin Farrell match Arnie's acting awesome-ness?

I'm not sure how I feel about them moving the action from Mars to Earth, I grew up watching the original Schwarzenegger action-fest & I am a massive fan of pretty much everything Verhoeven has done, but I would definitely like to see a movie based more closely on the original PKD story which leaves you wondering whether Quail (changed to Quaid for the film) actually goes to Mars (or wherever the hell he goes this time) or whether he's just having a "Schizoid Embolism" in Rekal's offices as a result of a bodged implant.

Schizoid Embolism or a bad case of the Martian runs?

Check out the official synopsis below then get ready for a surprise in the shape of something that admittedly, doesn't look like its going to suck a whole bunch of grossly mutated Martian wang.

Official Synopsis:

Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Farrell), even though he's got a beautiful wife (Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life - real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

And the Three titted lady-less promo:

Are you looking forward to seeing this, or will you be getting a Johnny cab to your local cinema to cut of the air supply to the patrons inside?

Nice Day For A Bite Wedding

2012-03-14T12:32:00.025+00:00

A new trailer for my favourite set of Zombie movies since Romero's "...Dead" series landed over at Empire.com yesterday.

[REC] Genesis is the third instalment of the [REC] series from Spanish film makers Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza, and judging by the trailer we can expect more of the same gruesome action & claustrophobic scares which made the first two instalments such classics in the eyes of Horror fans everywhere.

This time, we see the action move from the closed confines of the apartment building from first two films, to the wedding of young couple Clara (Leticia Dolera) and Koldo (Diego Martin). Now I've been to quite a few weddings in my time & there's usually a fight between some of the guests but thankfully I've never seen someone become part of the buffet!

Never annoy the Bride on her big day

This franchise for me, reanimated a stagnant corpse of a horror genre with a mix of the Marmite (you love it or hate it) "found footage" style of film making and more traditional scares & a truly creepy atmosphere when the first film hit out screens back in 2007.

Since then we've seen Hollywood churn out remakes of both films, with one even being a scene for scene facsimile of the first. But for me, both of these failed to deliver the same impact of the originals.

If you haven't seen the previous two films, go get copies of them however you will and give them a watch, I guarantee that whether your a die hard Zombie move fan or someone who usually dismisses them as gory nonsense that you'll be soiling your undies quicker than you can say "Braaaaiinnns".

Put on a nappy & prepare to shit yourself:

[REC] Genesis releases on the 30th of this month, so put the date in your diary for what is sure to be the Wedding of the year.

Gift suggestions include Chainsaws, bludgeoning weapons & Kevlar clothing.