Tonight, I had to stop at Wal-Mart for milk. I was there at 12:00 a.m. The woman in front of me at the checkout was buying a large inflatable pool. I found myself wondering what sort of person buys an inflatable pool at such an hour. Then I realized something: probably the same type of person that rushes out of their parents’ house at 12:30 a.m. to purchase a bookshelf.

My life is like a weird jigsaw puzzle, pieced together by these tiny revelations.

You know, for the past few days, I’ve been thinking about Michael Jackson’s death. Love him or hate him, he was the King of Pop. His music and performance style influenced numerous other musicians in many different genres. I still have Thriller and Bad on my iPod. Who isn’t familiar with Thriller? Who’s never made an attempt to do the moonwalk?

Honestly, I can’t find any decent words for this… so I’ll leave you with a memory instead.

When I was little, my ma had this small exercise trampoline. She and I used to bounce on the trampoline while listening to Beat It and Billie Jean.

That, in a nutshell, is what the music meant to me. It’s also how I choose to remember his life.

Well, minus the whole “winning the lottery” bit.

He sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders; hopefully he can put the money to work for him and live comfortably. It makes me happy when deserving folks get a break.

Sure wish I could have a break, especially right now. Much like a Jenga game gone awry, my life toppled down on Friday night. As with any puzzle, the pieces can be put back together. In a fit of impatience, or enthusiastic creativity, one can even force a piece to fit somewhere in the big scheme of things. But right now, I’m too tired to draw up a construction plan. I feel better after letting everything spill over, but I’m still as confused as ever.

Too bad the weekends aren’t longer; I could use some extra time right now.

Like clockwork, I hear the train. Time for a nap. Now that I’ve purged my mind, body, and soul (so to speak), I should be able to update this thing with more blathering later today. For the moment, I’d rather be laying in bed, under the warm covers, listening to that lonely train and wondering where it’s going.

The environment just seems to be getting weirder each year. Makes me wonder…

It also makes me want to enjoy what we have. We’ve done such a great job of messing things up for the planet; I really want to think that we can turn that around, somehow.

I still need to blog about button-fly jeans and why they are awesome… come to think of it, I should blog about my new “baby”, too. All in good time!

Of course, everyone was up in arms about this.

Me, I just want it to be Friday. I have so many writing projects to work on.

Clearly, I have my priorities.

Next on my blogging agenda: the beauty of button-fly jeans. No, I’m serious. You’ll see.

…26 and still lost. I guess I don’t mind being a “lost boy”, in many ways. Still, there are other aspects of my life that leave me shaking my head in disappointment.

I need to do more. I’ve accomplished a lot, that’s true, but I still have more to do. I really need to buckle down and work on my writing. I can’t be a writer if I don’t write, now can I? If writer’s block rears its ugly head, then I need to come up with a better way to fight back.

There’s also the issue of school. I love to learn. I’d get a degree in just about every subject, if I could- just to say that I did. I don’t expect that a piece of paper will magically transform my life or provide me with any clear direction for the future. Still, it would be nice to have the knowledge gained from the experience. What to study, though? Where to go? I’m very interested in the subject of law, but I don’t think I’m interested in being a judge or a lawyer. I love art and writing, but who needs a piece of paper in order to do that? Philosophy is grand, but again- what exactly would I do with that knowledge? Put it into my writing and my everyday life, no doubt… I just feel that it would be going to waste at my current place in life.

I really don’t like my job. I know that I’m lucky to have it. There are so many people out there right now who would probably give anything for a steady paycheck. I just received one of the highest yearly raises in my department. The manager informed me that I’m an asset to their department and that the higher-ups all think very highly of me. Which is all flattering, and I’m completely grateful to have a steady income- don’t get me wrong- but the thought of spending my life at that place is very disheartening.

In order to escape, I need to become an even better person. In order to become an even better person, I need to find more time for “me.”

Sometimes, this whole cycle is incredibly frustrating.

On the bright side, I did have an awesome birthday cake:

(”Go Diego, Go”… this is what happens when a 5-year-old helps you decide which cake is best for you. Very awesome, I must say.)

Wow.

I wonder if these radio show hosts feel like big men now? I mean, it’s obviously a very manly thing to piss yourself at the thought of anything different than the perceived norm. Not to mention verbally degrading children and encouraging violence towards them. Because real men do these things, yes sir.

Things like this make me want to beat my head against a wall. Repeatedly.

…Yes, I can do better. I know that.

…It’s not your fault. You’ve done all that you can.

…You’ll find a way to make everything happen.

…Don’t ever give up on your goals.

…Try not to listen to them.

…Sleep a little more, you need it.

…You’re turning 26 in just a few days. It’s really time to up the ante.

Yeah, I’m being a little vague here. Still, it’s helpful to put these thoughts here…

Hm. It rained today. Right as I was leaving work. It was really refreshing. I love the rain.

Pro-Life folks are against abortion because they basically view it as murder- taking a life.

Some of the more extreme Pro-Lifers choose to demonstrate their beliefs………. by killing people who oppose them.

…So… you’re FOR life… unless it’s a life that opposes your moral beliefs? In which case, it’s acceptable to bomb clinics and gun down doctors?

The irony here is just beautiful.

For the record, abortion is not “for” me, but a person should have the right to choose. Especially in the case of a nine-year-old girl who was raped and impregnated by her stepfather, and whose life was also placed in jeopardy by the potential labor. That’s just my opinion, though… More education would probably help us here, but that’s a separate issue in itself.