Hey, guess what? I won! So I not only got a free Starbucks certificate (I love Café Mochas & Java Chip Lights), but now I have something to write about for my personal note this week

Because of course, the advice doesn’t only apply to parenting. I doubt it will surprise you to hear that it also applies to business.

Want to hear what it was? Ok, here goes: “Always listen to your own intuition, even if all the experts, books and other parents (or business owners) disagree.”

Of course, the trick is not to mistake ego for intuition. Intuition is not the same as beliefs or opinions. It’s not something to be proven with facts or figures.

It’s a gut feeling of calm certainty that you’re doing the right thing. It’s a “knowingness,” a peaceful sense that you just “know” the right thing to do, even if it doesn’t make logical sense to anyone else. It’s quiet, never belligerent. It has no need to prove itself to anyone else.

Most people who go against their intuition know they are doing so at the time. I’ve heard it time and again: “I knew better, but everyone else said . . . “

The most successful businesspeople are the ones who develop and follow their intuition. If you want to develop yours, all you have to do is listen for it. When making a decision, consult it. Find a quiet spot if need be, ask the question, and then just wait and see what comes.

I’d love to hear any stories you have about successfully listening to your intuition! Please post them here on my blog.

I’ll skip most of our series of mini-adventures, although I will mention waking up at the crack of dawn in the campground to some very loud screams . . . which turned out to be a “muster” of wild Peacocks just outside our tent (Yes, I looked it up! It’s called a muster).

We now have some very pretty feathers which they were thoughtful enough to leave behind.

Later that same day, although our warm lazy river turned out to be rather cold, undaunted we launched our flotilla of 7 inner tubes: 2 adults, 4 eight years olds, and 1 cooler.

We thought things were going quite well, until we came into view of the first rapid. Whoa! The article had said this was a slow, warm river. There weren’t supposed to be any rapids!

Of course, we had discovered that the “Weekend Sherpa” who wrote the article was none other than the owner of the deli across the freeway, and the article had stressed the necessity of stopping by said deli for sandwiches on the way to the “warm, lazy river.”

Ya gotta admire his marketing strategy, don’t you?

Anyway, here’s the part where life meets business (you know how I love my analogies): There was no way we were going to get through that rapid intact with 4 kids and a cooler on inner tubes.

So I told the kids to hunker down securely, and grab onto each other’s tubes. Together we created a large “raft,” which was so stable we sailed through the rapid with some excitement, but stability. We did this for all 6 or 7 rapids we encountered, and not once did anyone (or the cooler!) fall out.

What’s true on the river is true in business: If you try to go it alone, you’ll most likely fall off in the rapids. Every successful entrepreneur has hooked up with others to navigate the river: coaches, colleagues, and mentors.

Ask any truly successful Virtual Assistant or entrepreneur, and they’ll tell you the same: if you don’t have support, get it now!

For more info on the support I offer, email me at Kellie@theVAsuccesscoach.com

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Even as an adult business owner when you really want a client, and they don’t choose you, it’s tough. It’s hard not to take it personally sometimes. In both situations there can be a feeling of rejection . . . of not being good enough.

But there’s a deeper truth here beneath the hurt feelings. The truth is everyone is good enough, it’s not about that. It really isn’t personal. If someone doesn’t choose you, it’s because they aren’t the kind of person that will understand or appreciate you for who you are. They don’t resonate with you.

And that’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. You don’t want to “play” with someone who doesn’t “get” you. You want to interact with those who see who you are, and who like and appreciate the real you.

That doesn’t mean people are bad if they don’t appreciate you. It just means they are different, and that someone else would be a better match for them. I call it “self-screening.”

Take my son, for example: He’s a very empathic, emotional, warm, loving, generous, charming, friendly, goofy little guy. A lot of kids adore him; he’s very popular in school.

But there are always a few kids who don’t respond to him, and for them he’s an easy mark to ridicule, because being vulnerable is a part of his personality.

These kids, as I explained to my son, are “self-screening.” They aren’t the type of friends he really wants anyway. And that is the key: these kids recognize before he does that it’s not a good match. They’ve done him a favor!

The same is true for potential clients that choose someone else. They are doing you a favor (really!). They are recognizing that it’s not a good match before you do. They don’t see or value the things you do.

So the fastest way to feel better when you’ve been the best you know how to be and haven’t been chosen—whether by a potential client, friend or someone else, is to remember that if they really don’t appreciate you it wouldn’t have worked out anyway—and be grateful they declined. Silently thank them and send them on their way energetically.

You’ll attract the right people for you, and when you do, you’ll both know it.

To learn more about how to attract those great people in the form of clients, be sure and read my feature article this week “How to Attract the Perfect Client.”

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Theta can be used to eliminate negative sub-conscious beliefs that are stopping you from having what you want in your business . . .

I’ve been busy doing some exciting stuff. In August I was certified as an advanced Theta healer. For some, this may not be your cup of tea, which is fine. I’m still offering all the other great stuff I always have for VAs and entreprenuers.

But I’d be thrilled if you would challenge yourself to open your mind for just a few moments while you read this article.

I believe Theta is the most powerful form of energy healing in the world today. What is energy healing? Quantum physics has proven that we are all made up of energy, and so is everything around us. Our conscious thoughts, our sub-conscious thoughts and our emotions/feelings are all energy.

Trauma, emotional and mental stress, limiting or negative beliefs, physical distress, environment stress, and other blocks to your personal growth can be stored in your sub-conscious and in the “energy fields” of your body, preventing you from achieving your goals and dreams.

Beliefs you aren’t even aware of can hide in your sub-conscious mind and stop you from having what you want in your business, even though consciously you may have the exact opposite belief!

Theta healing works by removing those hidden beliefs that sabotage you. It effectively clears blocks in your energy fields, repairing and rebalancing the energy so that you feel better mentally, emotionally and physically, and are then able to move forward in your life in ways you were unable to before. In other words, it gets you “unstuck.”

Just because we can’t see something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. We also can’t see air, electricity, atoms, electromagnetic fields, sound or radio waves.

Theta healing is done by phone as easily as in person, and can be used to do something as simple as balance your cell phone’s electromagnetic charge so it’s in harmony with your energy field. Or, it can be used to do something you won’t find anywhere else . . .

. . . It can be used to “download” energetically what it feels like to have a positive belief or feeling. If you’re a believer in the law of attraction, this ability is key.

For example, let’s say you’ve had a sub-conscious program or belief of “I’m not successful,” that is pulled and cancelled with the new belief added of “I know how to be successful.”

If you’ve never felt successful before, how can you create that feeling if you don’t know what it feels like? The law of attraction only works if you create  the feeling of already having what you want, right here and now. It’s that feeling that attracts what you want, because like attracts like.

With Theta, the feeling of success can be downloaded energetically so you have a sense of what that’s like.

I’m looking forward to having this exciting new tool in my “toolbox” to help clients. And guess what? In October, I’ll be doing another Theta workshop on “Manifesting and Abundance!”

Think anyone could use a bit of that in their business?

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There are a number of situations where this might happen with a client. For example, clients who:

• Request something outside of their contract
• Call excessively or outside of their scheduled call
• Repeatedly keep you on the phone far longer than you have time for
• Ask for discounts
• Give assignments at the last minute
• Demand that work be completed within an unreasonable amount of time

Still, I’ve found in my years of coaching that there are often ways to say “no” that are easier than others. Sometimes my clients simply need a good idea on how to say no.  And sometimes they just need permission to take a stand for themselves.

So here you go: I’m giving you full permission to “just say No!” I’m also giving you 10 different ideas on how to do it in different situations. If anyone has any other ideas, please post them on my blog!

Here goes:

1. Head them off at the pass: Let them know what your boundary or policy is up front before they ask. That may prevent them from asking in the first place, or at the least make it easier for you to “remind” them.
2. Don’t answer the phone (You’d be amazed at how many people feel compelled to answer even when it’s an interruption!).
3. Tell them you’d be happy to do it for them – and let them know what the extra fee is.
4. Let them know at the beginning of the call that you have a “hard stop” at a certain time, give them a polite five minute warning, then when the time comes, let them know you have to go, politely say good-bye and hang up. If they have more they want to say, encourage them to finish up in an email.
5. Explain to them that you’ve made exceptions before, and it’s turned out badly. It’s unfortunate that a few people have to ruin it for everyone else, but it happens.
6. Refer them to someone else.
7. Tell them you need to work on setting boundaries (which makes it about you, not them) so you hope they understand but you need to start saying no or you’re going to go crazy . . . and not be any good to anyone!
8. Make a counter-offer with something you don’t mind doing, or that makes it worth your while.
9. Give them 1 ticket for whatever it is, and be clear that once it’s been used, that’s it. Or a variation on that is to say you’ll do it just this once, but that’s it. No more. And mean it. Next time they ask . . . see #10!
10. Just say No . . . and don’t worry about what others think. If they don’t like your setting boundaries and taking care of yourself, then it’s not someone you want to be around or have as a client anyway.

It is possible. Want to know how it’s done?

Through branding and positioning yourself.  I’ll explain more about that in a minute, but first, you need to know there is a catch: you have to give something up. You gain something far greater when you do, but many VAs still find it hard to do. So what is it you have to give up?

You must give up the things you don’t like to do.  You must let go of the things you’re not good at. Most importantly, you need to stop trying to mold yourself to be whatever it is your clients need.

What?! But then they might not contract you! It’s true. They might not . . . because they will recognize that they are not your perfect, ideal client and therefore screen themselves out.

But here’s the flip side of that: your perfect, ideal client will also recognize you, and will know with just as much certainly that YOU are the VA for them. And this is the client of your dreams (see paragraph 1).

Many VA’s, especially when starting out, will take any client with a checkbook and a pulse. I know you think that you just need clients just to get going, but it’s self-defeating to try and please everyone and take anyone.

Here’s why:

If you even half-fill your business with non-ideal clients, you’ll have clients who don’t appreciate you or value you the way they should, who probably don’t pay  you what you’re worth, and who don’t necessarily rave about you to their friends.

You’ll never build a thriving business with clients like that. And here’s the thing: it isn’t as though there is a small pool of “ideal clients” for everyone, and the rest are lousy clients. Your non-ideal client is probably someone else’s ideal, perfect client. You just aren’t matched well, that’s all.

You’re far better off presenting yourself authentically and strategically from the very beginning (branding and positioning), taking only ideal clients for you, and building a business from there. Ultimately, once you gain momentum, your business will build faster and you’ll be far happier.

Ask any VA who’s done it the other way, and you’ll hear one of two things: either they have a business with clients they aren’t terribly happy with (and vice versa) and they aren’t being paid what they’re worth, OR they’ve had to go through a transition period where they “cleaned house” of non-ideal clients and had to build up again with more ideal ones.

You may even be one of the VA’s who knows you need to “clean house,” and begin re-building with ideal clients, but you’re not sure how to effectively brand and position yourself in order to do that.

Whether you’re just starting out, or you need to “clean house” of a few (or a lot) of non-ideal clients, or you simply want to be more proactive about strongly attracting your perfect clients, there are 3 different aspects to branding yourself effectively.

The first is to know how to present your skills, abilities, what you enjoy doing, and your workstyle to clients in a way that allows them to immediately recognize if you’re a good fit for them.

It’s knowing exactly what coaches and other clients want to know about you, and making it easy for them to find out. I’ll be launching a new, 3 part f.r.e.e telesimnar series in the Fall and in the first teleseminar, I’ll go into more detail on this.

If you want to work with coaches,  I’ve done it for you in my Virtual Assistant – Coach Compatibility Assessment, which is on special this month for half price, so click here to check it out—and once you’re there be sure and click on the graphic of the assessment to see it in more detail: www.thevasuccesscoach.com/assessment

The second aspect to branding and positioning is to strategically position yourself by what you offer. You’ll want to find a unique angle, something that is a strength or something you like to do, that differentiates you from others. For example, I’m a VA coach, but my angle is I help VAs get coaches as clients. The second teleseminar in my new f.r.e.e series will be a Q & A to help you come up with your own unique angle.

The final aspect of branding is perhaps the most powerful. It involves identifying who you really are at the core – and communicating that to prospective clients in a powerful way, so you attract those who resonate deeply with you. In the final teleseminar in my f.r.e.e series, I’ll be sharing more about this, and about how using the ancient power of Archetypes can do this with an effectiveness that will astound you!

Stay tuned for more details on this fun, f.r.e.e seminar series!

But there’s one thing no one talks about much, because it’s not very popular. Coaches know what it is, but they don’t mention it because it doesn’t sell. A coaches’ coach will say “Shhhh, are you crazy? Don’t mention that, you won’t get the client.”

Well, I’m going to talk about it. I don’t care if I’m not supposed to. Because I know one thing for sure: knowledge is power. If you can look something straight in the eye and say “I know you,” then you have the power to use it to your advantage.

And you also take away the power it has over you, because you recognize it for what it is.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. What is this critical element?

It’s the willingness to face our limiting beliefs, our prejudices, our fears and our blind spots. In other words, personal growth.

No one is exempt, and none of us can move forward successfully with the “secrets”, “keys”, or “essential elements” to advance in our business without facing our personal demons in the process.

And that is uncomfortable. This makes personal growth somewhat unpopular.

And it’s not just a one-time deal, either. There’s always another personal challenge around the next bend . . . Another place we need to grow, in order to grow our business.

Show me a business that’s stuck, and I’ll show you a business owner that’s stuck. Unstick the owner, and the business jumps to the next level. It’s that simple.

You’ll notice I said simple, not easy. There are many entrepreneurs that want to take their business to the next level, but who want to stay in their comfort zone while doing it.

They want to stick strictly to business, and think by doing so they can avoid any personal discomfort. But it just doesn’t work that way.

And whatever is stopping you, stops you everywhere: in your personal life, and in your business. It’s rarely just about knowing the right technique, or the right way to do something. There’s always a part of the challenge that involves you needing to step outside of your comfort zone and grow.

So, what to do?

Become comfortable being uncomfortable. Embrace the discomfort.

Resistance causes persistence, so the more you resist, the worse it gets. Just decide that the discomfort is ok, and move forward. Grow. Take action. If you need support to do it, then get the support.

You can do it, and you’ll be glad you did. Because speaking from experience, my own and many others, I can tell you that the other side is awesome!

I’d love to be the one who supports you in your growth, so please contact me for a consult @ Kellie@theVASuccessCoach.com

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There are many possible reasons you may not be attracting clients as quickly or easily as you like, but what I’m going to focus on here today are three of the biggest blocks that prevent coaches from contracting a Virtual Assistant.

Stop #1

They aren’t clear about what your strengths and specialties are: Coaches aren’t looking for a VA who can “do it all.” In fact, they know that no one can be good at everything, so if you say you do it all, they are more likely to pass you by, not less likely.

What they want is to know what your core strengths are, and what you love to do. They want to know what you can do sufficiently well that works for you, and they want to know what you hate to do . . . and don’t do well at all.

You see, if your core strengths and what you love to do match up with their goals, you’ll be the perfect match for them. They can find someone else to do the stuff you’re not good at.

But many VAs will say yes to everything a coach wants, or say they can do everything well, because they don’t want to lose the client. This frustrates coaches because they never really know until they begin working with a VA what that person’s strengths and weaknesses are. And it may not be a match.

It’s not good for you as the VA, either. What you want is an ideal client who loves your work and raves about you to other coaches. You want a fan who refers you. That’s only going to happen if your core strengths match up with what that coach values most.

In fact, this has become such an issue among coaches, that I created an assessment that helps Virtual Assistants and Coaches find their ideal match in each other.

As a VA, if you present this assessment to a prospective coach client, you’ll not only look incredibly professional, but you’re a “shoo-in” to be contracted by grateful coaches who are happy to find a VA they know is a good fit.

I’m offering the assessment to you this month at the special price of $47 (value: $87). Just enter the following code when you purchase it: ATTRACT For more info and to purchase, click here: www.thevasuccesscoach.com/assessment

Stop #2

It’s not clear that you specialize in working with them: Coaches want to know that you understand them. They want to work with VAs who “get” coaches, who have the particular mindset and skills needed to help a coaching business grow.

Many VAs are afraid to make it clear that they specialize, because they think they’ll be cutting out all the potential clients who aren’t in their niche. But the truth is, it’s much harder to get clients if you don’t have a niche, because most people want someone who specializes in them only.

So you’ll actually get more clients by working exclusively with coaches. In fact, many coaches have told me they only look for VAs who work with coaches.

The exception is VAs who work with coaches and speakers. Most coaches are speakers and vice versa, so it loosely qualifies as the same niche.

Stop #3

You don’t market yourself well, which tells them you won’t understand how to help them market themselves well: Most coaches are looking for more than just a general administrator to do basic tasks. They want “back-end” internet marketing tasks performed on a regular basis.

So they want to know that you understand those tasks, that you know why they are important, and can even offer a suggestion on occasion. And they want you to catch obvious mistakes.

If they look at your own website and marketing and it reflects a lack of knowledge on how to effectively market yourself, they may pass you by for someone with more savvy in that area.

So if you’ve never had mentoring or coaching in how to market yourself effectively, or it’s been a while since you’ve “tuned up” your site, it may be time to start thinking about hiring a business or marketing coach. If you’d like help with marketing, or taking effective action to correct any of the “Stops” above, please email me for a free consult at Kellie@theVAsuccesscoach.com

If you’d like to hear more about what coaches are looking for in a VA, and you haven’t yet listened to my FREE “6 Coaches Tell-All Teleseminar,” it’s a must-hear! To learn more, click here: www.thevasuccesscoach.com

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It also says what actually will make us happy.

The title does grab you though, doesn’t it? Those of us who don’t consider ourselves in the “rich” category kinda want to hear what reasons rich people could possibly have to hate their lives, don’t we?

I loved this report. Each “reason” is short, sweet, and full of rich wisdom. It’s one of the best I’ve ever read, and I highly recommend it: The 8 Reasons Rich People Hate Their Lives (PDF).

It’s so good, I had a hard time choosing which part to highlight here. I wanted to talk about what would be most encouraging to VAs, so I finally decided on #5, which I’m going to call “How to Eliminate Failure Forever.”

The report outlines two different possible mindsets an entrepreneur might have: “fixed” or “growth.”

Those with the “fixed” mindset tend to come from the unconscious belief that they either “have it or they don’t.”

What this means is when a job, project, or launch doesn’t go as well as expected, or produce the results desired, they tend to blame themselves: “I’m lousy at this, I failed, I’m just not good at it, I can’t do it well . . . essentially they beat themselves up and feel like a failure.

Have you ever done that? I confess: in the past, I have. I had to learn how to switch to a different, more effective mindset. In fact, it’s a very common mistake for entrepreneurs to blame themselves. Many of the clients I’ve had over the years have learned to change that same mindset, with my help.

Why on earth do we do that? It’s painful and it doesn’t feel good. But it’s not really our fault. In the past, society has raised children to think success is achieved because they are smart or talented, and failure happens because they are dumb.

Think about your classmates in school. The ones who got D’s or F’s were considered dumb, and the ones who got A’s were considered smart, Right? It was just how it was. In other words, you either had it or you didn’t.

This mindset is a recipe for misery and failure. Because you’re not going to be instantly successful at everything you do. And if you decide you’re “just not good at something,” you might quit, and then you’ll never succeed.

So what’s the recipe for success? It’s called the “growth” mindset. Entrepreneurs with the growth mindset view a lack of results as feedback, not failure.

Rather than beat themselves up for not succeeding, they say to themselves “Ok, that didn’t work. Why not?” They analyze, make corrections, and try again.

They take an objective look at what they can change, so as to have a better result the next time.

Then when they succeed, they say to themselves: “Yes! I worked hard on that, and it worked!”

The key difference is the growth mindset attributes success to effort, and the fixed mindset attributes success to innate talent or ability. The truth is, anyone can get A’s in school, if they practice, study and work at it.

True, some may have to put more effort into it than others, but so what? The fact remains that anyone can do it. It’s about effort, NOT about innate gifts, ability or talent.

It’s about figuring out what needs to be done to succeed, then doing it. Thomas Edison, a successful inventor with the growth mindset, failed at inventing the light bulb 10,000 times. But around the 700th time he is quoted as saying:

“I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”

Thomas Edison knew that failure is a mindset, not an outcome. So do all successful entrepreneurs, especially millionaires.

So next time you catch yourself feeling like a failure because something didn’t work out the way you expected, remember Thomas Edison and the millionaire mindset. Stop beating yourself up, figure out what didn’t work, and try again.

In other words, choose to eliminate failure forever.

To quote the report [The 8 Reasons Rich People Hate Their Lives (PDF)]:

“Wise, happy millionaires adopt a growth mindset. When they fall into fixed mindset thinking, they recognize it and change how they’re talking to themselves. They know that mindset can be changed at will. And they know that success comes from taking action, not from intelligence or talent.”

Want a little help with your mindset? Contact me for a 20 min. breakthrough strategy session – I’m offering them absolutely free this month!

Kellie@theVAsuccesscoach.com

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So my oh-so-observant friend says to me: “Wow, your dog is a lot better behaved than your kids are.”

Ouch. Yes, he’s still my friend, 30+ years of friendship buys him the right to say stuff like that, lol. And he’s right. At times my kids could easily be compared to a pack of wild Indian children running through a dusty camp of tee-pees and cooking pots.

But before you judge me as a mom, consider this: Their teachers, friend’s moms, and pretty much everyone else on the planet who has the pleasure of their company away from home constantly tell me what well behaved angels they are.

No kidding. In fact, almost every time I have a chat with their teacher she tells me how wonderful they are: caring and considerate of others, great listeners, respectful, helpful, and fun to be around.

Who on earth are these strangers??  Surely not my children!!! Yes, I try like crazy to teach them all those things, but it doesn’t appear to be working from my perspective. And yet, it is. Just because I don’t see the results of my efforts doesn’t mean the results aren’t there.

They are noticing what I’m teaching, and they are paying attention, or they wouldn’t be modeling those behaviors elsewhere.

It reminds me of what it’s like to market a business.

Sometimes as an entrepreneur you’ll market like crazy, putting it out there, putting it out there, and it doesn’t appear to be working, because you can’t see the results . . . yet.

But that doesn’t mean it isn’t working. It doesn’t mean that people aren’t noticing, or paying attention. It doesn’t mean that it won’t pay off. It just means that it hasn’t reached the point where it’s visible to you yet.

So it’s a matter of trust. Until the results begin to show themselves, you need to trust that it’s working. Because when you consistently market your business, it’s been proven time and again that it works.

Someday, I’ll get to see the same kids everyone else sees. In the meantime, I’m going to keep teaching them the values I know will help them be happy, loving people . . . because I trust that it’s working, even if I can’t see it yet.

Until Next Month,



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