The Vanishing Mom

A year later

2012-06-12T21:34:00.000-04:00

A year ago I was just 4 weeks away from my surgery. I can't even begin to explain just how much my life has changed. I'm going to try my best to share all the marvelous things I have experienced.

This post was supposed to wait until my actual Surgiversary but today I hit a HUGE milestone. I am finally in Onderland. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what that means, my weight is in the 100's. When I woke up this morning I weighed in at 200.00 lbs. After a long poo and stripping off all my clothes I weighed in at 198.9. If I wasn't so sick from this head cold I would of screamed. I am literally almost half the woman I was a year ago.

So besides the numbers on the scale what else has changed?

1. For starters my clothes size. I started out in a 28/30. Today I fluctuate between a 10-14. It's a funny thing actually, This is the only group of sizes I have found to be so different. When I was a size 20 I was a firm 20, same goes for every size from 16 and up. A size 10-14 is a funny thing. Some size 10s fit me awesome while others won't go over my thighs. Some size 14s just fit and some fall right off. I am officially in a size of clothes that I can't leach off my friends. That feels weird. I actually have to start buying clothes. Thank goodness for Goodwill.

2. My self confidence is through the roof. I still have my insecure moments but at this point I see them as being normal. I no longer hold my head down when I walk. I know I am full of awesome and finally no one has to remind me of that. I can thank my awesome online and real life support system for helping me realize just how much I rock!

3. I have a job. I stand on my feet for 9 hours a day and I freaking love it. Most people would consider my job mediocre, but I love it. I couldn't ask for a better work environment and I really feel good about what I do. Plus it's like getting paid to work out. You could ask for more?

4. My friends. The people I talked to prior to WLS aren't really around anymore. Some have faded away for various reasons. Some I had to release because I realized just how toxic they were for me. I no longer have the patience for drama or negativity. The people I now consider my friends compliment me in every way as I hopefully do them. I value my friendships more than ever and maybe it's because I'm finally at a place in my life where I can see just how much we mean to each other. Some of my closest friends I have never met face to face. Its amazing how close you can be to people on the other side of the continent. We fight the same battles and hold the same values. My in person friends mean just as much to me. My friends mean the world to me. Thats not something I could of said a year ago.

5. My family. Family has taken on a whole new meaning for me. The support they have shown me through the past year means so much. They have never failed to lift me up whenever I've needed it. My immediate family has shown me what it's really meant to be loved. I couldn't wake up every day without knowing they have my back. Through thick and thin they have shown me just how unconditional their love is. We are closer than we've ever been. I have no doubt that what our relationships lacked was hugely my fault. I kept myself excluded from family activities and relationships. My brothers wedding was a huge turning point for me when it came to how I interacted with those that mean so much to me. It was the first time I saw just how much my energy had to do with how I enjoyed social family situations.

6. My posture. As silly as this might sound this is big for me. I never realized how hunched over I was. I stand straighter, sit straighter and my back thanks me for it. It takes some getting used to but every day I make it a point to check how I"m sitting and standing.

7. My energy level is amazing. I never thought I would feel this active. I can't sit still. I go for walks in the morning and I'm almost ready to start jogging. My ten year old thinks this is awesome. He joins me for my morning walks most of the time and honestly it is the best quality time I could ask for. We talk, we share and we enjoy the silent.

8. Lastly the scale. I can't wrap my head around what it says to me. 198lbs.... I know I still have plenty of weight to lose but honestly if I didn't lose another lb I would be happy right where I am. To me 198lbs is heaven.

Sharing this past year on my blog has been quite the experience. I still plan on posting although I can tell you now that sitting still long enough to type all of this out is hard. If I'm not working the last place I want to be is tied down to my computer chair. The best way I think to get updates at this point is my Facebook page. I won't completely abandoned this blog though. I still have a ton of reviews to post. Hopefully the next thing I'll be posting is new pictures. I look awesome and it's about time I share.

The Blame Game

2012-05-22T07:28:00.001-04:00

My whole life I've been able to blame my weight on a lot of my problems. Everything from problems with jobs and relationships to problems with daily life and responsibilities. Think about it, at 379lbs I wheezed when I just sat still, walking was a chore and no matter how clean I was it was hard to keep giant fat rolls from creating a small past mid-day. My main focus was food so when given a job to do all I could think about was the next break I could grab and what I could eat. I was always tired because even if I used my CPAP machine my sleep apnea was so severe that I never slept peacefully. I would fall asleep in the middle of the day doing tasks at the computer because my body was so tired from the restless sleep apnea brings.

Now at 200lbs I'm still "a big girl" but no where near as big as I was at 379lbs. My sleep apnea is almost resolved and I can actually get a decent nights sleep, this means no more falling asleep while doing simple tasks. I can run and go anywhere without running out of breath. I don't wheeze when speaking to someone nor do I mouth breath anymore. My confidence is at an all time high and I approach life's situations with a new outlook. My weight is no longer an excuse.

Thinking about the fact that my weight isn't at the forefront of my life anymore I applied to jobs. Better than applying I scored a job! I could of easily found a desk job that had me sitting all day, but I didn't want that. I wanted a job that keeps me moving, on my feet and interacting with customers. I wanted flexible hours and a great staff. I found all that and more. I work at WAWA! Those of you on the East coast will know exactly what I'm talking about and why I'm so excited. Those of you who don't know, I highly suggest on your next trip out this way you seek one out. Wawa is a deli/convenience store with superior customer service and atmosphere. I have friends who move away from them and have their coffee and products shipped to them.

As far as a weight update goes, I'm bouncing between 200 and 210. I hope it's not the end of the road for me (and I doubt it is) but regardless of what the scale says I feel fantastic! Today I even had my 10 year old jog with me. We watched The Fat Boy Chronicles together for motivation and he's going to be joining me on my morning jogs for now on.

In the next few days be on the look out for my favorite new product! I had the amazing opportunity to review Oh Yeah! protein drinks and I am blown away by them. I'm waiting to hear back to see if I can do a give away with my review before I post. Keep your fingers crossed!

Next stop, RELIEF!

2012-05-02T06:39:00.000-04:00

When I first thought about starting a blog I promised myself I wouldn't hide the uglies when I blogged.

You see WLS comes with many pretties:

Losing weight

Feeling fantastic

New clothes

The look on peoples faces

The amazing food I get to eat

The wonderful people I've met

The list could go on...

This comes with a price though. Some of the uglies:

The vitamin regimen

Constant lab work

Saggy skin

Losing clothes you love

Losing friends because they can't handle your success

Body dis-morphia

Constipation due to vitamin supplements (this is my biggest ugly)

So in full disclosure and I warn you now this is about to get really ugly.

Calcium sucks. So does iron but that's another post. Adding just one to my vitamins makes my insides turn to concrete right away. I take an insane amount of calcium. Right now my dosage is 600mg 3 x a day. Thats 6 300mg pills a day. Remember that I don't absorb most of the fat I eat so when dealing with constipation adding a healthy dose of fat can keep things moving. With that in mind here's what I've added to my day to try and combat the constipation ugly:
A full tablespoon of Virgin Coconut Oil in my coffee with full fat creamer (I drink two cups of this a day)
A prune with each calcium dose
A magnesium oxide (140 mg) with each calcium dose (2 of these with my morning dose)
I eat my weight in fat, at least 2 sticks of butter a day and as much bacon as I can handle.
I try to add as much healthy fiber to my diet as possible.

Even with those precautions I still get stopped up when I take just a few of my calcium's. So what do I do? I've researched, whined and complained on the forums and finally gave in and bought a giant bottle of Miralax. Why Miralax? This is how it was explained to me. It pulls water into your intestines and helps gently flush everything out and keeps things moving. It's safer and gentler long term than stool softeners. Up until today I've been living on enemas and misery. I know I need my calcium so I have to find something that works. Today shall start "The Great Miralax Experiment". I'll make sure I keep you updated to see how this will play out. Hopefully this will be the trick into keeping this look on my face:

Let's talk bread

2012-04-30T08:10:00.001-04:00

I was once a lover of bread.

Crusty Italian bread,
Tender French bread,
Spinach dipping bowls made out of bread,
Warm fresh Ciabatta bread,
Chunks of bread dipped in Italian oils.

In other words if it was made with flour I was in love.

Then I had my surgery.....

A lover of bread I am no more.

By choice really.

I know plenty of WLSers who hunt for their perfect loaf that will not cause gas or bloating just to enjoy a slice. Honestly, that gets expensive. I've seen loaves of bread that are advertised as carb friendly for as high as $13.00 (no that's not a typo).

If and when I do crave bread now, I eat a bite.

A bite.

No more, no less.

It satisfies my craving and it's enough for me to move on from it. I hope I'm able to continue this although I know this might not always be true. I don't crave bread the way I used to, so right now it's not too hard for me.

My family is full of bread lovers, mostly my son. I find myself scouting out the best and cheapest varieties for him. His diet is simple, no artificial flavors, colors, preservatives or additives, no MSG or nitrates either. Because of health and food needs we are a label reading family. Because of this I ran into something amazing I couldn't help but share.

This has everything we look for in a bread at only $2.00 a loaf! My favorite part? Should I want to indulge in a few bites there is only 11.5 net carbs a slice (label reads as a 2 slice serving, minus the fiber), and to top it off the kid loves it! It also doesn't bother my tummy one bit. After one slice I have had no gas, no anything.

I couldn't help but share this! Finding a bread that is easy for our tummies to handle and doesn't push us over the carb limit is so hard. Just please remember, sometimes my tummy decides to play "made of steel", just because it isn't a bother to me doesn't mean it won't bother you. This is true for every food and every WLSer in every stage. We vary in tastes, capacity, and mileage.

This loaf was given to me from a friend who noticed the carb count and thought I would enjoy it, but I vow that on tomorrows grocery trip I will be hunting this down.

Arnold Soft Family Honey Wheat (No Artificial Colors, Flavors or High Fructose Corn Syrup)!
(Sorry about the quality of the pictures, I was trying to hurry)

I know the label is hard to read so check out what I grabbed from their site below

List of ingredients from their site Arnold Bakery:

Ingredients:
UNBLEACHED ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR [FLOUR, MALTED BARLEY FLOUR, REDUCED IRON, NIACIN, THIAMIN MONONITRATE (VITAMIN B1), RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), FOLIC ACID], WATER, WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, YEAST, HONEY, SUGAR, WHEAT GLUTEN,SOYBEAN OIL, SALT, CULTURED WHEAT STARCH, ENRICHMENT (CALCIUM SULFATE, VITAMIN E ACETATE, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, VITAMIN D3), MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, DATEM, CITRIC ACID, GRAIN VINEGAR, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SOY LECITHIN.

I gained some and I lost some

2012-04-27T13:31:00.000-04:00

I'm almost 10 months post-op. I've learned a lot in these past few months. I've also lost a lot.

I've learned that friends come and go but family (blood or bond) will stick with you forever.
I've learned that I know nothing close to what I thought I knew. Each and every day is a learning experience whether it's about Weight Loss Surgery or life in general.
I've learned to love my body no matter what misshapen form it may take on. Right now I look like a deflated Macys balloon, but put on some clothes and I look like a million bucks!
I've learned that love knows no bounds.

I've lost a few friends along this journey and I miss them dearly but sticking up for myself and my beliefs are something that is easier to do now. No matter what the circumstance I have finally learned that it is not ok to be trampled on or under appreciated.

My biggest accomplishment? I've lost 175lbs!

My hair is finally starting to grow back! See:

What you can't see is my "new growth" that takes me about half an hour to tame. But it finally looks a bit fuller :)

Here is my most recent before and after for those keeping track :
Yellow shirt June, 2011 @ 379lbs / Purple shirt April, 2012 @205lbs

Speaking Out

2012-04-11T07:18:00.001-04:00

We finally were able to find a decent car at a decent price. That meant a whole lot of running around and doing errands yesterday. It also meant seeing a lot of people some of which I've never met and some of whom by chance got to see my old ID. These stories are worth sharing and this was the first place I thought of.

For me speaking out about my weight loss is easy. I don't think twice about it. Some of the "vetts" who have had this surgery far longer than I taught me that speaking out and paying it forward is the best thing I can do. Because of them I've even gone as far as print up full color business cards as my "before" picture for moments just like the ones below. As soon as I can snap a good picture of them I'll post them on my Facebook Fan Page for you to see.

My first trip yesterday was to the insurance company to give them a copy of the title for my new car so I could head to DMV and get it registered. I love my insurance company. They are sweet, always remember who I am and probably the chattiest bunch of kind women I have ever met. One of them in particular always remembers who I am and it never fails to make me feel special. She always remembers who I was until yesterday that is. I haven't seen them since August, and even then I think she had off for the day, so I haven't seen her in probably a year. Yesterday she had a full conversation with me and had no clue who I was until she heard my name and her jaw dropped to the floor. I spent the next half hour with some of the women from the insurance company crowded around to hear all about my surgery and I even passed on my "before and during" card. I don't know that I made a difference with any of them per say but even if in passing they mention it to a friend who contemplates it or what I had to say simply lowered the stigma of WLS in general than I did my job. Not to mention the flattery that comes along with someone being so shocked to see the new you. I absolutely love it and I'm finally starting to get used to the compliments.

Next, I stopped by my dads house to grab him so he could keep me company on my all day adventure and while I was there he had an old family friend there who hasn't seen me in ages although has been following my updates on Facebook. The look on her face when I walked in is what I live for! I wanted to squeeze her and never let go. My favorite comment? "You look like you're already at 150lbs" Bless her heart! Thank you "S" for making my day!

My last and final trip of amazement believe it or not was the Department of Motor Vehicles. They wanted to confiscate my license because I was over due for a new picture! This of course led to a whole conversation with the picture ladies who I also ended up passing my card onto. I love when I leave a place such as a store or office and as I'm leaving, after the conversation of my weightloss is over I still here on the way out "Keep it up girl!" and "Congratulations!". By the time I made it home last night I was on cloud 9.

My lesson in all of this is, don't be afraid to be open about you're surgery. You never could imagine the way a few compliments from a stranger or a conversation with an old friend will make you feel but better yet how great it will make them feel. You don't have to take it to the lengths I have by blogging. Sometimes just a little info for someone who has never heard of your surgery or met someone with WLS can be the encouragement someone needs to start taking control of their own life. I wish I would of met someone who had WLS years ago, maybe I wouldn't of waited so long.

10 lbs of Patience

2012-03-30T04:55:00.001-04:00

( SCHOOLS DONE!!!!! Well ok, almost done. I have a week worth of tests and then I'm DONE!!!! Which means, coming back to my blog and no more empty promises of posts. )

I feel like I can't escape the dreaded ten lbs.

I've always been a weigher. I was warned this was a bad idea and for some I've seen first hand how bad of an idea it can be, for me thought this whole DS experience has felt like a science experiment. I weigh every day sometimes twice a day. I can't imagine not weighing everyday. I like to see how what I eat, how I move, and where my cycle is changes what I weigh at any given time. I'm also such a huge loser that my 2 month long stall didn't even freak me out. It almost felt like a mini vacation if that makes sense. When I lose everyday my body almost feels tired. Plus when I stall I almost always go down in a size or two and imho losing inches is far more satisfying than losing lbs sometimes.

I feel like 10lbs is this revolving goal. I couldn't help but laugh about it this morning. First it was 10 lbs or more that Greenbaum wanted me to lose before my surgery date. Then I was waiting on the edge of my seat for 10 more lbs until I hit under 200lbs. Then the tension in my house could be felt as I waited patiently for the last 10lbs before I hit The Century Club. NOW I wait again for the last 10lbs before I'm in ONDERLAND!!! I'm not rushing it, right now I'm in a losing streak and for the past week have been averaging about a loss of 1 - 1.5 lbs a day. Even if I stall thats ok too, I'm about to ovulate and that sometimes puts me in a little bit of a stall.

I say this every time I hit a "milestone", if I don't lose another lb I'd be happy where I am right now. I weigh 209. 20freaking9. I haven't weight that since I was a teenager. More importantly I have NEVER felt this awesome in my life. I also have to admit that I'm a bit scared of what seeing a 1 in front of my weight is going to feel like. I don't ever remember seeing that. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.

One of the ways I help keep track of my weight is a nifty little app on my Android. Check out my chart:

As of this morning:

HW: 379lbs (6/2011)
SW: 360lbs (7/11/11)
CW: 209lbs (3/30/12)
GW: 150lbs

Writers Block

2012-02-23T06:31:00.001-05:00

I'm here, I've even started about 9 posts that haven't been published yet. My problem? I have a crazy case of writers block.
How many times can I bother my readers with the same nonsense over and over again? So after some brainstorming and asking people what they'd like to see I came up with an idea.
Food Blogging!

The number one question I hear from friends and family is "What can you eat now?" Well, I am finally going to answer that question through pictures and recipes. Just like the rest of my blog I will be honest and candid about what I really eat. I'll throw some updates in there as well as reviews for some of my favorite products. Every post will be one day behind so expect my first food post tomorrow morning!

Coming up this week you'll see reviews on:

Natural House Probiotic Cleaning Supplies
I know this product might make you scratch your head as to why I would want to review it but since my surgery I have done everything I can to make not just my body healthier but my household too. These products are amazing and really make me feel good about what I'm doing. I've also been authorized to do a giveaway on these so STAY TUNED!

Bryton Pick
I eat meat. I eat lots of meat. As a matter of fact my diet is 90% meat. I can't tell you how hard it is to find a toothpick that actually works for me. Bryton Picks are it! They are reusable and just plain awesome.

A Resolution!

2012-01-02T17:50:00.000-05:00

One of my New Years resolutions was to have more participation so lets start with a giveaway!

Up for grabs is:
2 bottles of DaVinici Sugar Free Syrup in flavors Vanilla and Raspberry 12.7 Fl Oz.

4 samples of Chike

For your first entry you must do the folowing:

1. Follow my blog. (see the buttons on the side)

2. Like me on Facebook. Click HERE

3. Follow me on Twitter. Click HERE

4. Leave me a comment below.

For additional entries you may promote this contest once a day through Facebook or Twitter.

This contest will end at midnight on Sunday, January 8th, 2012. I will pot the winners Monday (1/9) morning by 10am.

Good Luck!

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T19:08:00.002-05:00

This past year has been filled with laughter, love, tears, compassion, hardship, but most of all for me it's been about perseverance.

For my blog readers you have been able to see a small snippet into my life and experience some of what I'm talking about. For friends and family you have seen first hand what this past year has entailed for me. For both my readers and my loved ones I owe all of you a HUGE thank you. Without the support and compassion that I have seen there is no way I would be where I am right now.

Here is a small list of the things I have experienced this past year. I will try my best to keep them in order. For those who are keeping track. There is plenty to be thankful for in my life online but this is my DS blog therefore I'm going to try my hardest to keep on track with the theme.

1. Life Came to a HALT: In the beginning of the year, around January, I realized at 30 years old my health was declining faster than it should. I was overweight, unhappy, uncomfortable but most importantly, unhealthy. I started on my journey to a healthier new me. I joined OH and started seeking out surgical options. I also scheduled a doctors appointment with my new PCP to discuss what I could possibly do. At this point, the option I liked best was the Lap band. By February I had done enough research to learn that with my weight, lifestyle and for best overall results the only way for me to go was a Duodenal Switch.

2. Time to Move On!: By the time February rolled around I was determined on the DS. I started to research doctors and found Dr. Greenbaum. Not only was he one of the top docs for my surgery in the country but he was right up the street (literally 5 minutes from my house). The best part was he took my insurance! That was it. mind made up, surgeon picked and support system in place! for the next few months I researched, hit some road blocks and kept on 'truckin.

3. Life is Forever Changed: By June I had completed my testing, had gotten approved by insurance and had my surgery date scheduled. On Monday, July 11th 2011 weighing in at 360lbs (I lost 19 lbs on my pre-op diet) my life changed forever. By the end of that day I had custom designer guts and would never be the same again. For those that paid attention I have the COOLEST surgiversary date ever! Every year on 7/11 7-Eleven offers free Slurpees. That means every year on the day I will relive one of the moments that changed my life forever I get a free Slurpee (I will be going for the sugar free version this year).

4. Reality Slowly Slips Away: Since 7/11 I have not had one week where my body hasn't changed. If pounds weren't melting off the inches were. I've seen frustration with my vitamins and water. I've been furious over the fact that I can never seem to eat enough. I've watched my immediate family change their eating habits and my wife lose weight in her own amazing way. Nothing about my life is the same as it was. I don't have any of the same clothes I had a year ago, My feet are smaller, I swear I'm shorter but mostly I have never felt so amazing in my life.

The old me vs the new me?

This time last year:
I weighed 379lbs.
I was wearing a size 28/30 or a 5xl with my shoes at a 10.5
I ran out of breath going across the room.
Stairs were my worst enemy.
My sleep apnea setting was the highest it's ever been, 16.
My blood sugar was completely out of control.
My cholesterol and blood pressure was getting higher every day.
Because I had no energy parenting was a chore. To think about how this effected my son makes me sick.
Although I thought I was cooking healthy I had no idea what I was really doing to my family.
I hated going out because face it, at 379lbs taking a shower was a chore. Going out to the car and moving around was torture.

Today:

I weigh 240lbs.

I am wearing an 18 or a 1x and my shoes are a 9 - 9.5 (I steal my sons clothes now)

I have to run around the block to run out of breath.

I love stairs. I love the burn they make my legs feel after I've run up and down them a few times.

I am about to have a new sleep apnea study because my setting of 16 is entirely too high.

My blood sugar? Normal. All the diabetes signs I had such as the black rings around my neck are gone!

My cholesterol? Normal.

My blood pressure? Low.

My son doesn't have as much energy as I have. Sometimes he can't even keep up with me.

I now cook only healthy. Everyone in my house is benefiting from the way I cook.

I hate sitting in the house. I look for every excuse to take a shower, get dressed and go out.

This past year has been memorable in so many ways. I could keep going on and on but you'd get bored. One thing is for sure, I may be thinner but I feel huge with the amount of love and people I now have in my life because of a surgery I never thought I would have the guts to have.

Thank you so much for every comment, message and like you have shown to my page. I appreciate every single one of you. Wether I've met you in real life, have already known you, or we know each other through IM's and forums, you have all made a tremendous difference in my life. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.

I can't ring in the new year and send out the old one without taking a moment to thank one of the most important people in my weight loss surgery journey.
R.I.P. Stephanie. I will miss you forever and beyond. I have you to thank for so many things. Thank you for being all that you were and all that you will always be in my heart. I dedicate my journey through WLS to you.

-Forever Your's-

The Vanishing Mom

aka

Joianne

Sometimes Love Comes In Many Forms

2011-12-29T10:44:00.001-05:00

If you know me personally you may have heard about my best friend and her battle with cancer. If you don't know me personally you are about to find out a little more about me. This has impacted me more than my DS has. I've known this woman for over 12 years and her family has always meant as much to me as my own.

My best friend was diagnosed with cervical cancer a little over a year ago. According to testing it was stage 2 aggressive. She went under intensive radiation and chemo which did little to her cancer cells. Finally they performed a hysterectomy this past fall. Her surgery knocked her off her feet and caused several complications. This past week her biopsy results came back and the cancer is still there. She will be undergoing chemo and radiation again this coming new year.

My heart breaks for her. She is a single mother to three children. One is Autistic and one of them lost her father almost two years ago to cancer. My friends life is anything but easy. She is currently living in a state that offers little resources and since she is unable to work she is struggling more than someone should. I wish there was more I could do to help. Since there is very little I can do here states away from her I am spending my spare time researching everything I can in her area and looking for help in every nook and crany that I can. One of the things I'm doing to help her along the way is setting up a donation site so that maybe I can get some food in her house and maybe a bill or two paid. I know money is tight for everyone so if nothing else I am just asking that you pass this around.

As of last week her insurance refused to pay for a very much needed pet scan. News such as this is such a blow to her. I will make sure to keep my readers updated through here and my donation site.

Prayers, wishes, and thoughts are greatly appreciated for her.

Raise Money Online

Holidays Every Day

2011-12-28T07:55:00.002-05:00

I didn't make too big of a deal about Christmas on here.

I have my reasons. One of which is that I've been so darn busy with the family that coming online to do anything was almost impossible.

Another reason is because I have a problem with the "Holidays". Yes, this time of year is magical and amazing but shouldn't the rest of the year be the same? I try to find one thing in my day (in my week at least) that makes me feel just as magical the rest of the year. This past year has been full of amazement for me. I have a whole blog post of "Wows" ready for New Years so I'll save that rambling for this weekend.

Christmas here at the VM house was nothing short of amazing though. It was simple, sweet, and filled with family, just the way it should be.

I indulged a little bit more than I normally do. I had a bit of sweet potatoes, red potato salad and a tiny slice of my Sister in Laws Famous Apple Cake. With all the carbs I managed to get down I lost 4lbs. Crazy for the Normies with their Normie bellies but for my DS belly awesome stuff! Carbs are normally a no-no for us. Carbs are easy to digest therefore we absorb all those calories and they can have the same effect as it does for anyone else with some added gas. However if you follow your DS diet and indulge a little bit on a rare occasion expect it to shake things up a bit, in more ways than one. Every DSer reacts a bit differently but for me all I had was a tiny bit of extra gas and the loss of a few lbs.

For Christmas we go to my wife's Aunt for Christmas breakfast and than we come home and I have some of my family over for dinner. This year we were able to have my dad, my Sister in Law and her awesome boyfriend, and on Monday we took a trip to my moms to spend some time with my Step Dad, my Mom and my Step Brother. Like I said, simple and full of family.

How were your Holidays?

Support

2011-12-25T00:11:00.005-05:00

No matter where you are there is support to be found for almost everything. For me I thrive on support for my surgery. I find that the best people to turn to when I need advice about my DS are people who have already had the surgery. Support such as this can be found in person through support groups such as Dr. Greenbaums or online through websites such as WeightLossSurgery.

Without the support I have found through WeightLossSurgery I don't know what I would do. Some of the vets have been my backbone, Dear Abbey, and answer to almost everything DS related.

I urge you to visit the forums and get involved. Even if you just browse and lurk for a while. You'll find everyone welcoming and full to the brim with knowledge. Enjoy your stay and look me up, vanishingmom!

Christmas Came Early!

2011-12-18T20:14:00.002-05:00

Last night was amazing.

Good friends

(L to R An online friend who also used my surgeon, Dr. Greenbaum, and myself)

A night out on the town!

(My wife and myself)

I LOVE my support group.

Dr. Greenbaum offers an awesome support group for his pre-ops and post-ops. I still rely heavily on my online support groups but for the chance encounter for one on one a support group in person can be an amazing experience. One of the perks are Holiday Party's. Last nights was no exception. I got my certificate for the Century Club (increments of 100lbs lost). My wife won an amazing gift basket but most of all we connected with some pretty awesome people. Not to mention I looked fabulous. Please excuse my hair though, by the time I took this picture I was wiped out. I had to put my shoes back on just to take the picture. :)

Tis the Season to Pay it Forward

2011-12-15T09:05:00.001-05:00

It's 8:30am.
The boy is off to school.
My mug of coffee is almost done and I'm about to take my first round off vitamins.
Once that is done I'm off to the Wii Fit which will tell me I'm losing weight too fast but still overweight.
Then I think I might go for a power walk, with my bestie Adele of course. Her album makes for the best workout session!

This past week has been rather inspirational for me. My wife and very good friend are both starting their journeys to a brand spanking new DS. They've both talked to their primary doctors and received referrals for Dr. Greenbaum. I've set them both onto two of my favorite research sites Obesity Help and DSFacts. They've both been to support groups with me and talked to other WLS friends. Most of all though they've watched how I've slimmed down, grown and transformed over the past 5 months. With both of them having several comorbalities they are excellent candidates for WLS. I am so excited for them! Being able to pass on the gift of health feels terrific. Most of all I'm excited that my wife will be my partner in crime all the way!

The hardest part of passing on the gift of WLS is trying to get an excited newcomer to realize that with the good comes some bad. It is major surgery. There is a chance of major complications even if you do follow all the rules. Your safest route is being informed. When it comes to such a major life change there is no such thing as too much information. So I've pointed them to a few blogs of wonderful people who have no problem sharing their stories. I'm sure I've mentioned them before but in case you missed it and you're contemplating WLS of any kind please check them out. These blogs are filled to the brim with helpful information that you will find useful in every step of your journey.

First up is BlackBerry Mama. She has several blog posts that I refer to over and over again. For instance when she explains how losing too much weight is an amazing adventure theres more to it than meets the eye. She also shared how she had a pretty intense hospital stay because she wasn't keeping up on her vitamins. The latter of the two posts spoke volumes to me and every time I have a hard time with my vitamins I refer back to it to remind just how important it is that I keep on top of them.

Second is Melting Mama. While she didn't have the DS she did have WLS and although her regimen isn't the exact as mine it comes pretty close. She has a great story to tell and doesn't hold back from explaining how WLS can drastically change your life for good, bad, and in between. MM also has an awesome support group that she runs through Facebook. She is blunt., to the point, and doesn't hold back. My favorite recent post exposes things that pre-ops don't normally think about: transfer addiction. Check it out in Tis The Season To Transfer Your Addiction.

Third is Formerly Fluffy. She holds awesome contests and always has fantastic recipes. I use her as a resource for information up and beyond what I can find anywhere else. If she doesn't know about it there is bound to be a link somewhere in her blog about it.

Of course I saved the best for last! Dina runs a blog called Living the DS Life. I had a super hard time keeping anything in my belly. I wasn't vomiting but I couldn't eat because I had nausea soo bad. I couldn't even get in my vitamins. Dina is the one who walked me through fixing my belly and she was there for me every step of the way. When new patients ask me about post op diet and ideas on what to eat I direct them to her blog. She has an awesome resource section for Eating. Her story is also remarkable and one to make sure you read.

Count everything

2011-12-14T09:28:00.003-05:00

What?!
Could it be?
Posting two days in a row?
Imagine that!

One of the things that really turned me onto my surgery was the new way of eating post-op. High protein, high fat. Who could ask for more? I've always been a meat eater and now I can't get enough. The only way I'm not hitting my goal of 100g of protein a day is if I physically can't eat a lot that day. Everything I eat is protein. I don't even crave carbs. I honestly think that this plays a huge role in my success so far. The benefits from protein are too many to count. Since it makes up 95% of what I eat there's no doubt it's the reason I feel so fantastic!

How am I keeping track of my protein and other nutrients from my food? I'm glad you asked.

My Fitness Pal

With this site I'm able to track everything. If the recipe I'm eating isn't listed I can add it using the ingredients I used to make it. Best of all? It's FREE! I can even use it to track my weight.

I recommend this site to everyone. Pre-op, Post-op, even if you're not having any WLS surgery. Even if you are totally happy with your weight. It will help you see what you're really eating. Plus you can find me on there and chat a bit. ;)

Pretty soon I'm going to start post recipes I've made up, doctored or simply recipes that are awesome by themselves. I will be referring to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ for nutrient info. Go check it out and while you're there look me up! The_Vanishing_Mom

Programs, Support and Progress

2011-12-13T08:03:00.002-05:00

Yeah I know, it's been forever and a day since I've made a new post. Honestly though life has been crazy over here. I promise not to stay away this long again. I miss sharing but most of all I miss all the awesome feedback I get.

Short recap:

1. As of this morning I've lost 132 lbs. Yeah you read that right! I am 5 months and two days out of surgery and I've lost a whole fricken person! This is a huge reason why I've been absent. In the past few months I find sitting down to be one of my biggest struggles. Removing the weight of one person gives you amazing energy. I now look forward to waking up early, taking a shower and picking out my cute outfit for the day. Six months ago just getting out of bed was a struggle. Sitting down at the computer for more than a few minutes seems like torture now. As a matter of fact I think you all deserve a picture. Here's my most recent (Thank you Daddy for putting it together!). It's about 3 weeks old so expect a new one soon.

2. Sitting down requires a longer explanation. I've got hemorrhoids. Personal and a little too much information I'm sure, however I did promise to share all the nitty gritty though so there you have it. About a month ago I had surgery to remove some of them but it's still a work in progress. So while sitting long enough to write a blog post is torture on my soul it can sometimes be a pain in the rear too.

3. I needed to get back to the basics of being a mommy. As hard as I try to put myself first there is this little guy who walks around here. He needs my attention more than I do. Since school is now in session which means this Mommy has IEP's, functions and homework to help with. My son has ADHD and severe migraines and because of these things he gets extra attention from us. Cooking dinner is normally a whole day process since we don't eat anything processed. Everything I make to eat is fresh and homemade. No food dyes, artificial anything (food dyes, preservatives or enhancers), and nothing premade (yuk). We also practice Positive Behavior Mod which takes more energy than someone can imagine. So needless to say the little guy (although he's not so little anymore) is a huge part of why I don't blog so much anymore.

4. Thanks to this little nifty program I downloaded that was supposed to help make posting easier I lost 3 blog posts. I never even thought to double check to make sure they made it on here.

Like I said up top, I won't be gone this long again. I miss you all. Yeah I know I have a "therapist" and as wonderful as she is theres nothing better than spilling my guts on here. Plus I have tons of new things to tell you about. Rather than fill you're whole screen with nothing other than updates and all the awesomeness that I'm dealing with my way I'll split it up into a few posts.

If you still are in the mood for reading head on over to one of my favorite WLS peeeps blog. She's doing a contest right now for an awesome digital scale. My Switched Scoop!

A Month?!

2011-10-30T10:02:00.001-04:00

Has it really been that long?

School work and family has taken up so much of my time that my poor blog has been sitting by it's lonesome self.

I promise by the end of the day I will have an INCREDIBLE update with pictures to boot!

Brrrrrrrrr....

2011-09-19T13:16:00.003-04:00

Lets talk ICE CREAM!

A few days ago I received an awesome package from my good friends over at Arctic Zero. They sent me all of their flavors of pints and ice cream bars. It took me a second to get past the dry ice because I couldn't stop playing with it but as soon as the novelty wore off we all dug in.

Although they advertise as ice cream it tastes more like creamy water ice. It's a perfect mix of sweet, creamy and cold. Sweet enough that my son never notices that he's not eating real ice cream while at the same time not being so sweet that you think you're teeth might explode.

My favorite flavor so far is the Pumkin Spice with Coffee as being a close second. We're still only part of the way through of trying all the flavors so expect a follow up post with plenty more awesome reviews of this yummy stuff.

(Nutrition Facts from a pint)

Even though this is a great treat for the WLS patient, it is a great treat for anyone. Look at those stats! You can indulge in a whole pint and not feel guilty! The best part? I felt good about letting my son try these because their ingredient list is rather user friendly.
(Copied off of their website:)

Pints:

Chocolate, Chocolate Peanut Butter,
Mint Chocolate Cookie
INGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, DUTCH PROCESSED COCOA POWDER WITH ALKALI, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT.
Vanilla Maple, Cookies & Cream, PumpkinINGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT.
Coffee
INGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, INSTANT COFFEE, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT.
Strawberry
INGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, STRAWBERRIES, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, BEET JUICE FOR COLOR, CITRIC ACID, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT. OUR NATURAL FLAVORS DO NOT CONTAIN MSG OR HVP

Bars:

Chocolate
PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, DUTCH PROCESSED COCOA POWDER WITH ALKALI, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

Vanilla
PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

Strawberry
PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, BEET JUICE FOR COLOR, CITRIC ACID, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

Orange Cream
PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAM GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, CITRIC ACID, ANNATTO FOR COLOR, SEA SALT, ORGANIC MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

Chocolate Coating
ORGANIC PALM KERNEL OIL, CHOCOLATE LIQUOR PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, SOY BEAN OIL, SOY LECITHIN (AN EMULSIFIER), PURE VANILLA EXTRACT. OUR NATURAL FLAVORS DO NOT CONTAIN MSG OR HVP

Check out their website and let them know Vanishing Mom sent you. A little birdie even told me you can find these in most whole foods stores around the country!

If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops......

2011-09-14T21:37:00.000-04:00

It's been pouring over here! Pouring food that is!

Lets see... Where should I start? Ice cream! That's where I should start. Who doesn't like some good 'ol ice cream?!

Today in the mail I received a HUGE box of goodies from Arctic Zero, equipped with our very own dry ice! After playing with the ice and having a ball I ripped open a chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bar and I literally melted into a pool of mush. This stuff is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! It's creamy, it's chocolately. You feel like your eating something horrible for you. But your not! Check out these stats!

Plus the ingredient list isn't too shabby itself!

I'm going to do a full blog on them but until then check out their site and Facebook page. Make sure you let them know I sent you!

The second full belly I had today came from my brand new awesome cast iron skillet. I took a recipe from Bariatric Foodie and adapted it. Yummy, Cheesy Alfredo Spaghetti Squash with Bite Size Marinated Chicken Breast. My version is below my supper yummy picture.

VM's Yummy, Cheesy Alfredo Spaghetti Squash with Bite Size Marinated Chicken Breast

I used a 12 inch cast iron skillet

1 package of chicken breast (mine had 3 large)

Walden Farms carb free, fat free Italian Dressing (I add extra Olive oil when I marinade)

1 large spaghetti squash

1 jar of low carb Alfredo sauce (Thanks Aldi's!)

2 garlic cloves

half a stick of butter

1 cup of shredded cheese (we used colby, any sharp kind should work fine)

1/4 a cup of Parmesan cheese

salt and pepper to taste (I use pink salt)

The best advice I can give for the spaghetti squash can be found on Bariatric Foodies blog.

Once you have that done follow these directions for VM's version:

Cut up chicken into bite sized portions and marinate in dressing for 30 minutes.

Brown butter and minced garlic in skillet, add chicken.

Brown chicken until chicken just starts to turn tan.

Add jar of sauce (I thin it out a little bit by adding 1/4 cup of warm water to the jar).

Season with salt and pepper.

Stir and let simmer for 15-20 minutes.

Sprinkle top with both cheeses.

Put skillet in oven on broil until cheese melts to your liking.

Enjoy!

This made enough for me, my wife and son. I even had enough to freeze for another nights dinner. I would estimate that this yielded 5-6 servings (with my serving as being only half a normal size).

NOTE: For sensitive DS tummies I suggest letting your chicken breast soak overnight in some greek yogurt and rinse before marinating or cooking. The enzymes will help break down the meat so it's more tender and easier to digest. I normally would have done so but I've been handling chicken better lately so, being lazy, I skipped this step.

Fresh Beginings

2011-09-11T13:08:00.002-04:00

On such a sad day when the world seems to come to a stop for some I like to think that it's a day of new beginnings.

Today ten years ago I decided to keep a baby that I didn't think I was ready for. Today my 9 1/2 year old stands besides me and reminds me of each life that was lost and how grateful I am am to them. We will always remember and cherish each and every family who lost a loved one. I hope one day he will grow up and help keep their memory alive. I can see the spark of hope in his eyes.

At 8:46 my son and I held each other for a full minute, I had to wipe the tears but it led to a great discussion. We then sat down and talked about why 9/11 is so important, not just for a country but for him and I. We spoke of how almost 3,000 lives were lost that day but 2 were saved. We talked about why it's important for him to live his life with passion, hope and perseverance. One day that boy is going to make a difference in the world. He already has changed my world forever.

This year I reflected on how much the last 10 years have changed not just myself but those around me. I think I can speak for all my loved ones that we are better people than we were 10 years ago.

So as I sit here sipping on my Chocolate/Banana Chike protein drink, I'm listening to the memorial at Ground Zero. My heart goes out to all those who lost a loved one. I also want to thank all those who have served/or are serving our country to keep our freedom.

This year I've already taken the first steps to a new me. I'm proud to be part of this country, a mother to my child and a DSer!

And We Have a WINNER

2011-09-10T10:02:00.002-04:00

We have a WINNER!!! Well two actually :)

Heidi D. has won one of my favorite goodies, a Pami Pocket!

You're very own Vanishing Mom has also won! Although my win is more of a lose. A 75lbs loss that is!!!

As of today I weigh in at 304.4lbs! That is 75lbs down from my highest weight and 56lbs from my surgery date. Ready for the best part? Pictures!!

In both pictures on the left I weighed in at 379, and on the right I weighed in at 305 (that was yesterday, today I'm a lb lighter)

I am sooo happy. I can't wait to see what the following months have to come! What makes this the best is I get to share it with you! Yes you! I have people I love to watch me shrink away. Never in a million years did I ever think I could mutter the numbers that make up my weight to anyone, let alone all of cyber space. I do it with the hopes of helping just one person. If I can make the difference in just one persons life than I feel like I've done my job. There are countless vets and pros who have given me tons of advice and support. This is the best way I can find to pay it forward.

PamiPocket GIVEAWAY!!!

2011-09-06T10:26:00.001-04:00

My good friends over at PamiPocket are going to let me give away a PamiPocket to one of my readers!
It's super easy to enter and I have a new nifty company helping me pick a winner and organize it all. Thanks Rafflecopter!

See my review of the PamiPocket: HERE

Enter below:

Confessions of a Scale-O-Holic

2011-09-05T11:48:00.000-04:00

First thing first, I know you love the new look! I needed something simple. This works for now but it's not what my final look will be. I'm soo indecisive.

OK I'll admit it. I've been weighing myself. Mostly out of curiosity. It's been beaten into my brain to stay away from it but I can't help it. The worst thing about weighing yourself has already happened to me, I've stalled for a week and it didn't freak me out. I expected that to happen. For the past few days I've been losing at an amazing rate. So fast in fact that I'm expecting my next stall. I've lost about 3lbs a day for 3 days now. Here are my stats so far:

379 - 2 week Pre-Op visit
360 - Day of surgery (7/11/11)
309 - Today (9/5/11 which is 8 weeks. I'm not celebrating anything until my official two months next week)

I have officially lost 70 lbs. Thats HUGE! I feel amazing! I have so much energy. I can move in ways I couldn't just 70lbs ago. I'm still not comfortable in my body though. A 3x is still tight on me so I'm making that my first small goal. I am so happy it's ridiculous.

I've stopped telling everyone around me about how fast I'm losing because it's starting to piss some people off. It's a jealousy thing for sure. Before my surgery if someone kept tell me how they lost 3lbs in their sleep I'd be super jealous too. I just wish they knew this wasn't as easy as it looks. I mean, it's not hard at this very moment but it's not a walk in the park either.

My newest complaint? Eating. Who would of ever thought I would almost never be hungry? I've set a timer to remind me to eat and if I don't I find myself going almost all day with nothing but water in my system. I've been eating a small portion of protein centered food every 2 hours. So when I go out that means packing myself a snack or two. If I don't do these things my blood sugar drops (yes you read that right, the prediabetic is having low blood sugar problems). My body will even itself out over time in this respect but it takes patience and getting used to "grazing" my food throughout the day.

Speaking of which. I have a B.A.T. calling my name! YUM!

My Switched Scoop: The BAT (Bacon Avocado and Tomato)

2011-09-04T13:04:00.000-04:00

I have to share another awesome recipe I found. This time it's another DSer!

For the past month I keep reading this post because it looked so good and today I finally made it. I'm so glad I did because it is DELICIOUS! Thanks Maria!

Try it for yourself, it's super easy:

My Switched Scoop: The BAT (Bacon Avocado and Tomato)