The Varunier Calipers...!!

Stop Motion Animation - Meccano Mustang

2011-03-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

I made this video in my last year in BITS. Do comment!

What's Wrong with Mah English?

2010-12-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

The more precise among you must have realized by now what I'm referring to. For those among you who haven't, just go back to your facebook home page (in a seperate tab, of course), and you'll find the following words aplenty... I have just picked a few from my homepage right now.

Eg: Kp (instead of Keep), cll (for college!)m the dreaded Mah.

I think the worst offender is Mah, though. No doubt the others can be put down to the not-so-trendy-any-more usage of SMS lingo - but what the hell is the deal with Mah?

Ok firstly, the SMS lingo being referred to was probably (hopefully the more discerning amongst you will appreciate that I used PROBABLY instead of the time-saving PROLLY) invented to save time while using the slightly human-unfriendly keypads on cell phones (as compared to laptops/PC's). Now what's the use of using them on a regular keyboard? Does the extra 0.00003 second that you save help you in any way? Does it prolong your life span? Does it improve your IQ? Does it give the additional freedom to take a bite out of your sandwich while you type?

No.

In fact, more time is spent on COMING UP with the idea for the perfect time-saving spelling of a word, than is saved by using it.

Now back to Mah.

I'll plagiarize this conversation I had with my friends the other day. Hell, I was part of the conversation, so it can't be termed as "plagiarized", but what the heck.

Cast: Surendra Singh Chaplot, Nikhil Balchander, Amit Abbi, Kiran Kannan and me.

Scene: Discussion on between friends who met after some six odd years. Topic: I'll be blown if I remember.

NB: You know Varun, I was reading your FB note the other day.

(I had been writing like mad for the past few days, so) Me: Which one?

NB: Wohi, GRE vocab list wala. (For those among you unfamiliar with my work, refer to: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=144477312234689 )

Me: Oh. Well, It rang from the heart.

NB: You know lots of people have asked me the same thing.

SSC: What what tell me.

(Discussion about the note) Rhubbabubbabbubbab...

KK (checks cell phone, smiles at an SMS, details of which both escape my mind and are anyway not relevant to topic here): Check this out. XYZXYZXYZ Mah dog ate it!

NB: "Mah"?

AA: Even I was thinking the same thing. Yeh "Mah" kya cheez hai bhai.

KK: Arey I was just reading whatever is there in the message.

NB (the eternal prankster): Saale kutte tu apni maa ko dog bulata hai!

KK: Abey "Mah" ka matlab "My" hota hai.

All start laughing.

Oh yeah by the way I did not include the conversation because it is funny (which it isn't, in this context. Trust me, it was funny when it happened. We went to talk about Mah home, Mah college, Mah-a-Bharat-aa and what have you.) I only included it to tell you what motivated me to write this note.

So what the bleep is Mah. Why would you want to replace My with Mah?

1. "My" is smaller. Only two letters, for the time-conscious. "Mah" has friggin' three.2. I know many people who believe that the rap lingo (Afro-American for the more sensitive reader) is cooler. I know many guys who are friggin' brown yet believe that NBA jerseys, thick chains, tilted caps and French beards make them look like MC Hammer or something. Oh yeah and when most of these dudes open their mouths to speak, they look more like MC Stammer or something. "Mah" is a word for these guys. 3. "Mah" neither looks cool, nor sounds it. I mean look at it - M and H in one word in rapid succession? Most of the sane people I know have rolled their eyes every single time they came across "Mah".

Anyways, by now, if you as the reader aren't bored yet, I as the author certainly am. I have just realized that I have lost the last twenty something minutes of Mah life writing abt smpn dat ll crtainly nt rank amng Mah literary achivmnts. So Gn all, ggwphf.

Statutory Warning: This note was prolly so crappy that even the author does not mind if you decide to copy/plagiarize the work as your own, by any means, be it written, typed, electronic. And those among you offended by the note, (I have just reread it, and can only find that the "many guys who are friggin' brown yet believe that NBA jerseys, thick chains, tilted caps and French beards" may be among the concerned party), who cares. Sue me.

Why We must Mock all Relegation Talk about Liverpool

2010-10-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

No doubt the last few weeks have been quite entertaining (as a neutral observer), in terms of the off-the -field controversies, the high-court dramas, the stubborn owners, the protests, and what have you. But amidst all this, supporters and fans have forgotten about the on-field “problems” as well; choosing to turn a blind-ish eye towards the team’s dismal results on the pitch.

Note how I maintain them to be dismal “results”, and not “performances”. No doubt the more enlightened will tend to raise an unwavering finger here, and point out that performances reflect results. But in my opinion: do they really?

One look at the current scenario at the Kop will tell you the ground realities.

We have been seeing from before the season itself; that before every match, the Captain or the Manager, or other Icons at the LFC mention how one win will set the pace for the rest of the season. That the same tosh has been reiterated before almost every match has not been lost on the viewers and supporters, and hence the growing concern over the club’s downhill trend.

What are we now, seven games into one of the most competitive league in the world? And with one win to show from these, languishing in the relegation zone, with the imminent threat of administration at the club, which will further dock another 9 points, no doubt my sympathies are with the fans.

But let’s get things into perspective.

Firstly, Hodgson is as good a manager as he ever was: it’s only that the manager is as good as his players and vice versa that has placed him under so much fire. And to replace him with Dalglish? I mean, yes, it is the era of Texting and Twitter, but giving a manager around a dozen games to prove himself with a new squad before booting him out, seems quite ridiculous. And to replace him with Dalglish? I concede that Dalglish was a great player in his own rights, but look at his recent past – the man hasn’t coached or managed a team for close to ten years, since his unceremonious exit from Celtic. Whereas Hodgson has shown us some miracles with Fulham as recently as last season, leading them to the finals of a European tournament.

Moreover, the EPL is quite competitive as it is, it does not come as a surprise that a team not at it’s best goes down the pecking order. But if anything could be seen from Liverpool’s display against Manchester United or in the second half against Blackpool (both of which they lost), it is that they are actually a decent team in the making. Maybe the then ongoing off-field legal battles had taken the spring out of their step. Maybe the team was still gelling together.

And from all the newspaper-rubble that I go through, also comes the unceasing attacks on Fernando Torres. Not that I will adjudge his present form a product of bad luck and injuries. But the fact that his best season for Liverpool came around two years ago, and yet despite his unconvincing performances since then, he has still managed to capture the terror and topics of defenders and columnists alike, says one thing about the man: that he definitely is still a force to be reckoned with, with soem fuel left in the tank.

All in all, a Premier League without Liverpool is simply unthinkable. One can only hope that the dreary era is behind us, and we can finally see some positive results.

What Guys Feel about Girls (but don't say out Loud) - A Frank Letter to all Gals

2010-07-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

Why should I bring this up? If we don't say it out loud, it better stay put in our minds, right? Well, most of this stuff is what we assume you know, but in fact you don't (most of the time). And guess what - most guys feel the same way, and probably just don't have the guts (or are too nice) to tell them to you directly.

NOTE: As goes usually with my notes, the Bad Guy notice - no offense is meant to anyone, and all comments and criticisms welcome! This ain't just my personal opinion, and any guy who vehemently disparages my points is either faking to impress his girlfriend, or is really, just really lucky.

So here goes.

1. NO, YOU DON'T LOOK FAT!

Guys don't care as much about their weight, let alone yours. Oh sure, the impression stands that a guy is more attracted to a girl with a great body, but in no way does that mean putting on a couple of pounds will make you any less likeable. Oh, I know, reading the last sentence, you'd be all like "Oh my God, did he just say a couple of POUNDS?" But face it - Unless the guy is a trainer for the losebellyfat.com or some similar site, and runs marathons every day for fun, and has a 19-pack abs, he simply doesn't care that much. So next time that you ask him, "Does this make me look fat?", expect the same monotonous response you'd get if you asked, "Was the dish I made really good?" :D

2. WE KNOW YOU CAN ALSO GROW FACIAL HAIR - JUST DON'T TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU TAKE THEM OUT.

Face it. It's no secret. I don't know whether you gals actually enjoy going to the parlor, and use all the hot waxes and whatnot concoctions, but guess what - all the guys get the creeps when you tell them about your exploits in that salon. Don't sport a Rajnkanth-esque stache (or like a villain from the old Western films - who keeps twirling his), anything else is almost fine. We do understand that you want to look good, but a couple of millimeters is nothing to freak out about.

3. WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARM AROUND OURS.

Yea, and you don't have to be a girlfriend to do it! If you are close to a guy, he'll be quite happy to guide you. It gives us a sense of responsibility, and also help make other guys (and couples) jealous! :P

4. WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THERE MIGHT BE MORE GOOD-LOOKING GIRLS THAN THERE ARE GUYS.

Oh, save the tosh.. We know that you compare notes behind our backs, we know that you all think you can do a lot better, and we all understand that (at least in India), we might not all turn out to be Brad Pitts and Tom Cruise(s). How many times have we heard the old "99% of girls blah blah beautiful 1% blah blah my college" and how many times have we seen girls roll their eyes at this? We already know that your response is, "Look in the mirror, you perv, before you comment on the girls!" It's just an ego thing, you know.

5. DON'T PLAY GAMES.

This is one that I'm sure all the guys will agree on unanimously. If there are movies I absolutely retch at, it's the kind of movies where the girls gang up and manipulate others. Guess what - MAJOR TURNOFF! If you like the guy, just tell him. If he freaks out, then console him - straight to his face. If he's into you but you feel you aren't quite there yet, tell him so. The guy might feel bad - but will appreciate your honesty. Don't - and I repeat - DON'T leave him hanging at any point. Not only does it kill us - but in retrospect, we won't like to be seen anywhere even remotely around you again.

6. YUP, WE CARE ABOUT OUR LOOKS - BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOU DO ABOUT YOURS.

Yea, yea, we all have seen Shahid Kapoor and his ads about whitening and fairness creams for men, and we all have used the infamous BrylCreem at some point or the other in our lives. We gives reasons such as "sunscreen" or "pollution", or even "cosmopolitan", but fact is, we take care of ourselves. We pick our clothes carefully, we think thrice before buying a deo. But that is the extent to which we might go. So don't go picking out clothes for him or keep commenting on his attire. Unless he is a Communist and wears only drab clothing, or else his mother has picked up his shirts for him, understand that his clothes were his choice and he won;t necessarily take your criticism constructively.

7. THE "IT'S NOT YOU - IT'S ME".

We've all heard this one. Don't even try it; it's a man's line, not yours. And don't pull it on us unless you have feelings for another guy and then want to break up. Even if you do so, tell us the guy's name, and give us a chance to fight for you at the very least. Unless of course the guy is that big a mighty jackass and you never really felt anything for him anyway.

8. NOT ALL OF YOUR MALE FRIENDS ARE TRYING TO HIT ON YOU.

Not even if you're a swimsuit model on the cover of Vogue magazine, will all your male buddies be trying to impress you. From where do you (referring to only some girls) get the impression that everyone has put on an act to woo you? We are as bored and irritated of putting on an act as you are.

9. IF WE SUPPORT YOU DURING A DARK PHASE IN YOUR LIFE, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE TRYING TO WOO YOU, IT MEANS WE CARE.

We've all seen the movies where the do-goody best friend is finally the long-lost love that the heroine is waiting for. We didn't WANT to watch it - but you made us do. But guess what. Unless the guy is a total jerk - in which case this post isn't written about him - we really want to take care, and make sure you are okay by the end of your ordeal. No, we are not hitting on you. No, we don't even have an ulterior motive. And no, we do not expect anything in return. We just want a smile on your face and a "Thank you" will do just fine as well.

10. WE HAVE OUR LIVES.

Just like you, we have our very real lives, with real people, real problems, real emotions. We might not be the best at talking about them, or might not even want to, but it doesn't mean we don't have them. Do NOT expect us at your beck and call every single time and make a big fuss if we can't make it once in a while. On the other hand, listen to the guy once in a while, try and find out what he thinks.

In the end, all these things (and maybe a few more I missed) are what make us who we are. All the tosh about guys maturing later than girls or not growing up is just rot. We appear immature to be cool. We are brash, aggressive, and quite adept at lying. (Oh yeah.) But we still have our conscience, and we use it when required. So do not judge us after watching us during a basketball match where we had an altercation with another player. Guess what? We like you too. :D

About Divorce and Plastic Surgery

2010-07-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Not my own work. No offense meant to any one. Taken from a comedy show.

Titus: "Every time a relationship goes bad, you've got hints. Like two years before my relationship ended she got a boob job. And people, if you've been married for more than five years and she wants to get a boob job, well...SHE AIN'T GETTING IT FOR YOU!...She's trolling for Idiot B! 'Coz you haven't lived up to her financial expectations!

"In the two years before my divorce, my wife got new hair, new nose, new boobs, new lips....I rebuilt this b"""ch from the ground up, man! It was a frame of restoration!...

"Ladies, i want to be very clear. I am not anti-boob-job. As long as you don't use them for evil! But don't get what you think men want. Men want something that looks good on you - don't go crazy. My ex- went INSANE, man. In my opinion she got boobs four sizes bigger than she should have, if she was five feet taller than she already is. She's 5'2", and got boobs to fit Shaquille O'Neal. They had to modify her skeleton to hold them up! The strippers association filed a grievance!...

"And California is a no-fault state. You get half the assets on divorce. Well, plastic surgery's an asset! I WANT HALF THE PLASTIC SURGERY BACK! And i don't want a cash settlement. I want leave the court with a JAR."

So How many Words have you Learnt?

2010-07-22T19:09:00.001-07:00

Absolutely hate it when people ask me about my GRE preparations: "How many words have you learnt?" ABSOLUTELY CRAZY! Do you mean to tell me people actually count the number of words they know? Or is it that you had no idea whatsoever of the English language when you began you preparations? Like in kindergarten we thought we knew more than the next kid if he could count to ten and we could count to twelve??

It's not once or twice that people have asked me this question. It's not even the glue-eating snot-eaters or the future auditors obsessed with numbers who ask me this.

Am I missing something here? Is there a fixed roster that I should consult? People tell me about so many books and flash cards and lists and whatnots...which of these were you referring to when you asked me?

Nuts. NUTS!

GRE, more than anything, is out to test your logic and vocabulary - or so they say. My preparation for the exam has not been ideal - or even conventional for that matter. But I can say for sure that I'm enjoying learning the language in my own way! I'd rather not earmark 100 words a day and try out all the memory-enhancing potions and concoctions and techniques, I am more comfortable when I write stuff and learn things that are related to what I need to know! Since when has the GRE become a mugger's paradise?

Not that I'm expecting anything great. I know pros like Shalini Lahiri, Harish Aditham and Srinivas Pavan who can easily come up with awesome scores even if they are blindfolded and allowed to type with only one hand.In a blizzard. But for heaven's sake. I'm pretty sure everyone must have faced this question at least once...so how did you guys respond?

The Trip To the Mall

2010-07-22T19:08:00.001-07:00

WARNING: THIS NOTE IS NOT BASED ON A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED BASED SOLELY ON YOUR ABILITY TO LAUGH. :P

Ladies, if you are quite jealous, and you go to the mall with your man, and think he's looking around (at other women), i want to point something out to u... If ur man's in the MALL with you...he LOOOOOOVEESSS YOUUU! and! he's not thinking about other women! You know wat hez thinking?

"Man, I wish I was doing something productive right now! Like cleaning out the gutters, or coming up with a life goal, or...inventing a car that runs on Shattered Dreams and Lost Faith in Myself!! But instead I'm playing minion to Princess Jealousy here and her Credit Card of Hate!!!" :D :P

And Ladies, another small fact...if you are jealous and with your man in the mall, and you start pointing towards at other chicks, saying "U like her? Shez taller than me," or "What about her? Shez wearing high heels...", and the guy LOOKS....THAT'S ON YOU! At that point you're just playing our wingman. ;P

What All I Learnt in College: Notes of a Disgruntled BITSian

2010-07-22T19:07:00.001-07:00

Tag/Share with as many BITSians as you can!

What all I learnt in college:

1. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
2. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
3. Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
4. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

More things I learnt:

1. Don't force it; get a larger hammer. (Workshop)
2. Any tool when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop. (again)
3. On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
4. If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question. (Esp. MT Abhilash’s classes)
5. It is better for the college faculty level to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. (As is the present case)
6. No matter which direction you start it's always against the wind coming back.(Never pee into the wind – moral of Harsha’s aerodynamics lecture)
7. Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.(Rule used against AVK)
8. If you tell the instructor you were late for lab because you had a weak stomach, the next lab you will have a weak stomach.(Analog Electronics Lab 4/5)
9. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.(Most EMEC labs)
10. The legibility and length of a report is inversely proportional to its importance.(SOP)

Her Diary v/s His Diary

2010-07-22T19:06:00.001-07:00

Her DIARY

I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."

When we got home I felt as if I ad lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today India lost the cricket match. DAMN IT.

3 Mistakes of Sabin's Life

2010-07-22T19:05:00.002-07:00

Following is the experience he had (in the man's own words).

From: Sabin Samuel
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2010 2:21 PM
To: Summer trainee1; Kuppili Venkata Varun; Shubham Banerjee; Anuraag Gupta; Varun Gm; Abhishek Syal; Ankeet Bhat; Apuroop Rayanam Remella; PracticeSchool Kol; Rajiv Ch; Sahithya Varma Vegensa
Subject: Journey to the centre of Delhi

Seriously macha

Mistake 1:

asked a girl about a gud hangout place. It was indeed a gud hangout place if u are a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Whereever u look u see places filled with girls checking out some summer wear or innerwear. Its like circular CP made into parallel lanes and filled with girls. There are places where girls were getting Indian tattoos(mehndi or whatever as the choms wud say) right in the middle of the small sidewalk. Are they expecting us to jump over them.(which I don’t mind). The girls were gud and that was the only gud outcome of the visit to that place other than the surprisingly gud weather on Saturday.

Mistake 2:

The Ghaziabad waala told me that it is an awesome place. Lots of stuff to be done there. I believed him.

Mistake 3:

Didn’t listen to the ONM guy who told me that there is nothing special with that market.

Finally I was forced to call the ONM guy who laughed a lot after hearing my wining voice from GK1 market. Then the gud ONM guy told me to go to some Restaurant named in Chawdi bazaar (which in mallu means die u bitch bazaar). When I climbed the stairs in the chawdi bazaar metro, I reached whole new place that I had never seen in my life. Here the rickshaws filled the roads and if the roads were full the rickshaws went over rickshaws. Our rickshaw walaa was singing some weird song and took us along a serpentine road. On each turn I had to keep myself clinching on the rickshaw for preventing myself from falling off from the rickshaw. Then finally we reached the place. Gave the rickshaw puller 20 bucks and all of a sudden we were surrounded by beggars. I didn’t know that I made such an impact in a crowd. Usually in IDEA I go easily unnoticed by my mentor or anyone in this office for that matter. As I strongly support the anti-begging act , I kept moving forward. But the philanthropic friend of mine was busy distributing the money to the beggars. As soon as I entered the hotel I found out that the busy street outside was much better than the one inside. Gud lord. U shd see the atmosphere there to believe it. I joined the line of customers waiting for a seat. Finally we got 2 seats after 20minutes. The table infront of was like a battleground. The previous occupants of out seat were indeed having a great time there. Then waited…………… waited…………… and we waited more. The fkin waiter who takes the order was deaf,dumb and blind when he reached our table. He took the order from the other 2 customers sharing the table. Even they asked him to take our order which he refused saying by being blind,deaf and dumb again. Seeing our pathetic state, the man in the counter asked one of the boys who bring the plates to take our order. They boy in long green kurta was happy at this sudden hike in his status. He came to the table and started to take our order. Seeing this breach in his territories the red kurta guy , about whom I told 2 lines earlier, took the menu from him and told him that he would take our order. We thought whatever….finally our order is goin to be taken. But to our surprise, he returned to his old blind.deaf and dumb state. You cant even imagine the enormous amount of mallu gaali that I told him in my mind. One muslim family had enough of this ‘chudaap’ and the dirt on the plate and the glass made them more angry at them. They told the urdu version of two most popular English words that people resort to to express their anger “F U”. don’t think that that didn’t cross my mind. But we had suffered a lot to have fud from this ‘heaven’. Finally the red kurta bastard came to take our order and turned his sensory devices ON for 10 seconds. Before I could blurt out the urdu names of the dishes in the menu. He walked on. My friend had had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. He caught him by his kurta and pulled him back to the table. Finally the order was given. My friend was sayin that he would not come there again. But I pacified him saying that the fud would change his mind. After 10 more minutes the fud came. Some kinda roti and instead of the curry I ordered I was staring at Gulf of Mexico. It was full of oil !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. took a small piece of the roti and dipped it in the ‘oil well’ ,placed it in my mouth and started chewing. As soon as the fud reached my stomach , the stomach shouted at the tongue “ o u motherfuker……. What shit are u sending here… if u send any more this shit then I will send back all unprocessed commodities back to u” . now, who the fk told that the fud there was unbelievably gud and tasty???? Then the non gravy, fried chicken came. This was the only gud thing that I had in that place. But the amount of oil in that was not encouraging me to eat more. I gave all these to my friend. The fud did change my mind. I would never go back to that place again!!!!!!!!!!!

Got into metro and reached anand vihar ISBT. Asked one auto driver to take us to Shipra SunCity. He humbly told 130 bucks. I happily rejected the offer. Walked some distance and reached another auto stand. He wanted 100 bucks. Using my mediocre hindi I tried to make a deal for 80 bucks. He was not ready to budge. I was about to give in but my friend found another auto that would take us to our destination for 80 bucks. As soon as we entered the auto, the other auto guy came and took this auto’s keys and started the chain of ‘ mc, bc, mc ,bc’ . the 80 bucks auto guy was apparently not from that auto stand and this irritated the first guy. Finding interest in this hallaballa ,nearby people surrounded us. When the first guy saw the sudden attention he got, he gave a tight slap across the 2nd auto driver’s cheek. He pushed him and was about to leave with his keys. The second guy plunged for the keys. But he was pushed back. Another slap on his cheek. That’s it…… u see in the bro code of delhi auto drivers, u can give one slap…. But not 2 slaps. The second guy reached for something in his auto and sensing danger ,we came out of the auto and ran to another auto stand. I turned my head and saw the second guy was actually holding the auto seat in his had to use as a weapon against the first guy (and not any sharp weapon). People separated them and resolved the issue. I sarcastically told my friend, “I didn’t know that Anand Vihar was in Ghaziabad”. He laughed and said “ if it had been a part of Ghaziabad then u wud have been asking this question in a pool of blood with a punchered stomach”

Who's the Grumpiest of them All?

2010-07-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Mirror, mirror, on the wall;

Who’s the grumpiest of them all?

If it’s me, then hear me pray,

Do not keep the assessment test today!

And if it is the corporate you see;

In your depths of grumpy mystery,

Just remind them of their career goals,

And do not make them intern-haunting assholes.

But if it is Anuraag you are claiming;

His grumpiness is centered around ONM training!

So just remind him of his GF back home,

That he can then chuck his internship notes over the B-dome.

It might be Syal, you might say;

Him and his troubles, of not being gay.

To him I have no words of praise or rot,

Coz the one straight gf is all I got.

To Ojas, you might turn your attention to;

Hez never grumpy, though you might expect him to.

Hez alwez in some or the other gym;

You’d expect a stench even in the mails sent by him.

Kosa, o mirror, is one of the worst;

To hear him talk abt anything apart from anime is a first.

Hez grumpy abt the project, the people and all;

Has to handle Kolkata and the Rest of Bengal.

And mirror, I know you cant check on KRK ob;

Hez never there, yet hez the one who gets the job.

I think his corporate project work is nil,

Yet the dude is never in office, alwez seems to be ill.

Ashish and Sabin, are two of a kind;

Though as ghazi and mallu, they are of different mind.

What with puzzles, and CAT, and Preeti, between them;

It is a mystery how they have survived an entire sem!

And mirror, o mirror, what about Rajiv, in Hyd?

The perennial silent, and the reporter, of the tide.

And Varun, in Pune, seems to know all;

He knows, secretly, that in the test he ll stand tall.

And what, I ask, of Shubham Banerjee;

Without two front teeth, you can hardly expect glee.

Though in Blore for a year, hez raided a few bars,

With is daily Good Morning mails, you wouldn’t guess this guy saw black and blue stars!

But the grumpiest of them all, I think is Nihar Sreeramshetty,

The bloke shares a room with Gowda, whoz a tharkee to the t!

But 6 months, of silent suffering;

Might have turned Nihar into a God-Fearing human being.

All in all, this was IDEA Cellular,

My home away from home, for half a year,

And if not for you guys, my days would have been spent,

In Indore bars prolly, rubbing my own eyes with some ointment.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: TO ALL MY PS MATES, MENTIONED AND UNMENTIONED IN THE POEM, THANKS FOR A ROCKING TIME! JUST BCOS I DINT MENTION SAHITHYA, ANKEET, SAYANI….DONT FEEL BAD! MEANS EITHER U DON’T SEND MANY MAILS, OR ARE NORMAL!!!! :D

P.S I KNOW LAST STANZA IS LAME. DEAL WITH IT!

The True Test of Art's Greatness

2010-07-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Is the greatness of art based on it's sole ability to connect with the masses?

Art, in itself, is a medium, through which the artist, the visionary, expresses himself. Every work of art is unique in it's composition, it's intent, and it's aura. Whether the greatness of such works can be measured against a scale, might be a moot point and very much debatable, with it's pros and cons, as the author here will try to convince you.

Art has been prevalent in many forms, from colorful masterpieces on a pastel to the enthralling tones of a symphony; from the intricate carvings on rock to the direction of a cult-classical act or movie. It is undeniable that the artist, or the composer, is a visionary of this idea, and what he tries to present to the observer, is the world from his own perspective. So the question that really answers the issue here is: Has the perspective of the masses changed over the years, enough to understand the perspective of the artist of a bygone era as well?

Consider Leonardo da Vinci, the famous scientist, author, artist, and pioneer. His most famous works include the Mona Lisa, the Neanderthal Man and the Flying Machine. When da Vinci envisioned these amazing creations, we find that his contemporaries did not have the ability to share his vision. In the medieval times, before the Renaissance, science was frowned upon by the clergy and feared by the masses. Any attempt to fly, for example, was castigated, using the example of the monk Icarus who threw himself from the top of a tower with feathers stuck to his arms. But has the parochial nature of these opinions hinder our awe for the masterpieces? Of course not. Nowadays, da Vinci is recognized for what he really was: a great thinker and pioneer. Hence it goes to show that the true test of greatness of art might not necessarily be determined by it's ability to be understood by the masses - it can be an esoteric topic of discussion as well, to be understood and appreciated by a few.

Let us consider the very idealistic vision of Howard Roark, that Ayn Rand presents in the highly acclaimed book, The Fountainhead. As an architect, Howard Roark is the ideal artist - sacrificing obsolete structures on buildings to make way for pure efficiency and science. What Roark envisions is something that his contemporary colleagues and competitors never come to terms with - as can be seen in the case of Peter, his rival. However, to the few clients who look to organization more than aesthetic appeal, and efficiency more than inctricate molds, Roark's works are the perfect embodiment of their plans. Does the inability of the narrow-minded masses to appreciate his work deter Roark from building what he views as the optimal designs? Certainly not. But can they be viewed as examples of great art? Ayn Rand, among others, thinks so.

However, not all art can be termed masterpieces only because they are understood by but a few. A folk song, and traditional dance, can also be considered among the very examples of great art, purely because they are performed with such fervor by the locals, because these routines embody the enthusiasm of the community. For example, the film industry of India, Bollywood, has it's fair share of 'great'music. While the rest of the world might not be aware of these songs or even their composers, it doesn't take away anything from these great souls.

Shakespeare's plays, would be the ideal examples in this context. William Shakespeare's plays were enacted to the public, the actors leading a peregrinish lifestyle. People would flock together to view these skits, and would follow, in detail, the famous stories that the author penned. Shakespeare is famous because he had an innate knowledge over every human emotion, and this quality made his works more approachable by the common man. The masses cou;d relate to his emotions, and hence his prose has been considered great. Nowadays, however, Shakespearan plays are a little obsolete and esoteric, because of the changes that the English language has undergone. However, the concept he imbibes into each of his stories is quite relevant even today.

Music and film have always had great artists associated with them. Mozart, Beethoven, Ravi Shankar, Joe Satriani, to name a few, have transformed the way people feel through their compositions. And though their music might be universal, not everyone can claim to understand the passion behind these compositions. Famous movies, like Citizen Kane, The Godfather and Casablanca shall always relate to the masses,of any age or time. This is what makes them classics.

A work of art need not be classified great by only the socialites or the highest rungs of society. It can also be great in the way it speaks out to the masses, in a way it connects to the general public. As long as a piece of art has soul in it, it becomes a masterpiece, whether to the artist himself, or to a few - Like in the very famous story by O.Henry 'The Last Leaf', where the artist paints a leaf and gives his life trying to place the leaf among the others on a tree, in an attempt to save a girl's life. That, without doubt, is a masterpiece.

FIFA World Cup Gossip: Loew’s Special Sweater

2010-07-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

Germany coach Joachim Loew has revealed that he will wear the same sweater as long as his team are in the World Cup.

Loew has been conspicuous at the touchline, and in the dugouts, by his blue sweater, that has created quite a buzz around it.

“The thing with the sweater is that I am not driven by superstition,” Loew joked. “The other coaching staff said I should be wearing the sweater now because every time I wear it we score four goals.”

Germany beat England 4-1 in the second round and reached the semi-finals following a 4-0 demolition of Argentina, with Loew donning the V-necked garment each time.

“I am not even allowed to wash it now and I think I will wear it again (against Spain),” he said.

Germany midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger also hoped to see his coach wearing it at Durban Stadium.

“I do not know how many sweaters he has that are blue. But I hope he has the one or two left in his suitcase,” he said.

Loew has already gone on record saying that Spain can never be taken lightly, and has been quoted as saying that Soain have several Messis.

Schweinsteiger, too, is wary about the remaining games. The Germans face European champions Spain in Wednesday’s semi-final in Durban hoping to improve on their 2006 exit at the same stage when they hosted the tournament and a defeat by the Spaniards in the Euro 2008 final in Vienna.

The talismanic player knows that a return to Berlin without a trophy will be heart-breaking for himself. Considered a veteran already though he is only 26, he said, “Going back to Berlin to celebrate in front of hundreds of thousands was special. In 2006 we finished third and in 2008 we were second so it is clear that something is missing and we hope to fill that gap,” said Schweinsteiger.

“I don’t want to go back there with nothing to show — I’ve done that twice already,” he said.

The midfielder believes that since that loss in the Euro finals, Germany have closed the gap between themselves and Spain. The fact that the Germans virtually have a new team, whereas Spain have almost the old one has not slipped his notice.

“If you look at it on paper there is no doubt they are the better side but maybe now we have a better chance,” he added.

“Now we have fresh faces and different characters — an unencumbered state of mind. Spain have not changed so much. Sergio Busquets in for Marcos Senna is maybe the only real change whereas we have many, many newcomers.

“Spain haven’t really dazzled in the way that their fans might have hoped but they have still been winning. We need another tactical masterpiece,” said Schweinsteiger.

Though Spain were the pre-tournament favorites, and Germany have the third-youngest side of the World Cup, the Germans have outclassed most of their opponents and created quite a buzz with their faultless tactics and telepathic passing. Will the talisman Klose equal the Brazilian Ronaldo’s World Cup record for most goals scored? Can Germany truly make it to the finals and go one better than their Euro progress? All will be clear, in a couple of exciting days.

Agent: Torres Could Leave Liverpool

2010-07-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

Torres: Looking for greener pastures?

Spain and Liverpool striker Fernando Torres’ agent, Jose Anotonio Martin, has hinted that the player will leave Liverpool after the World Cup.

“It is very likely that Fernando Torres will stay in the Premier League, but I cannot say that it will be with Liverpool,” he told the Daily Mail.

“We are working on his future but right now you cannot guarantee that he will stay with the English club.”

Though how appealing the striker will be to top clubs, given his none-too impressive form in the ongoing World Cup, remains to be seen. Among Premier League clubs, Chelsea and Manchester City have been linked to the striker off and on, with other clubs backing down from the player’s wage demands of 100,000 pounds a week.

Liverpool, who underwent a managerial change earlier in the summer, are presently in a fix. Having finished seventh in the Premier League and out of Champions League competition this season, the fans vented out their anger at the former manager Rafa Benitez and the club owners. Eventually, Benitez moved on to the European champions Inter Milan, and Roy Hodgson was brought in to handle matters at the club.

Benitez has made no secret of the fact that he is very interested in getting Mascherano and Kuyt to his new club in Milan. Also, rumors have been ringing linking influential captain Steven Gerrard to Real Madrid, where Jose Mourinho will set about building a trophy-winning squad. Yossi Benayoun has already left for Chelsea.

Among the players left, only Agger, Torres and Reina are what pundits are considering to be world class material.

Torres had a forgettable season, plagued by injuries, and seemed unhappy with several decisions that Benitez made. He has also not exactly shown his attacking prowess so far at the World Cup. In fact, Spain looked a much better team once he was substituted for Cesc Fabregas.

With Hodgson intent on building a squad from the ground up, and bringing back some much needed team chemistry, Torres will have to resign himself to the fact that should he stay at Liverpool, he could be in for another season without silverware, especially considering that the Europa league also has Manchester City, who at present, look much better off on paper than Liverpool. And with Hodgson going to put more emphasis on the youth development of English players, it might be time for Torres to ply his trade elsewhere.

World Player of the Year Award and Ballon D’Or to be Merged

2010-07-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

FIFA has inked a deal with the France Football magazine about combining the two biggest individual player awards on an international stage into one.

Fifa World Player of the year

The FIFA World Player of the Year award and the Ballon D’Or, shall be merged together to become the FIFA Ballon D’Or from January,2011 onwards.

FIFA announced that the goal was to create a combined, undisputed best player award, and revealed that the first award will be given on January 10, 2011, in Zurich, Switzerland.

“I am a very happy president today,” said FIFA president Sepp Blatter after signing the agreement with Marie-Odile Amaury, president of the group that owns France Football.

“The winner is football because as of January we will have one single trophy for the best player of the world and this will be the Ballon d’Or.”

Coaches and captains of national teams, as well as media, will vote for the new award.

Currently, the French Football Association awards the Ballon D’Or independently of the FIFA World Player award, and both are equally prestigious among player circles.

Lionel Messi, of Argentina, currently holds both the awards.

The FIFA World Player of the Year award dates back to 1991, when it was awarded to Germany’s Lothar Matthaeus, but the Ballon D’Or has a longer history, dating back to 1956, when Stanley Mathews won the French award. While the Ballon D’Or had initally been restricted to only European players, it was made a global award in 2007.

Pundits have tipped Spain and Barcelona’s David Villa; and Netherlands’ and Bayern Munich’s Arjen Robben to be the forerunners to win the inaugural FIFA Ballon D’Or Award in January, based on their performances for country and club. Others have touted Lionel Messi or Wesley Sneijder to walk away with the award.

Maradona: My Chapter has Ended

2010-07-06T06:45:00.001-07:00

Argentine football manager at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, the effervescent Diego Maradona, tearfully told a local newspaper that ‘his chapter had ended’.

Maradona

Argentina, who many had touted to win the World Cup this time, were sent packing by Germany’s young guns on a day that many have already suggested will go down in the annals of history. And in spite of having an outstanding array of attacking talent, it was the defensive frailties of the squad that ultimately led to their demise.

Even with the best player in the world Lionel Messi amidst their ranks, the South Americans failed to stamp their mark on the game, save for a hectic ten minutes after the break. But time and again, their brittle defense, which has been criticized throughout this World Cup, was finally exposed by an efficient German team.

“It’s done, my chapter has ended,” Cronica newspaper quoted Maradona as saying, two days after Germany’s resounding 4-0 win over Argentina. “I gave everything I had.”

Maradona compared the loss to the feeling he felt the day he left football. Back then, embroiled in controversy, he stepped down from being one of the most influential footballers in history. When Maradona took up the reigns of the Argentine team, his team went through a disastrous qualifying campaign that almost saw them not qualify for the main event. It took a personal promise and a vacation for the soul for Maradona to lead his men to South Africa.

Although he has not yet handed in his resignation letter, close contacts believe that it is only a matter of time.

A spokesman for the Argentine Football Association said Maradona had not officially resigned and that AFA President Julio Grondona would meet with Maradona after the World Cup had finished.

A close friend of Maradona’s said: “I still can’t confirm it, (the resignation) is something that’s being discussed.”

The friend said Maradona’s decision would be announced during a press conference but he did not say when.

Maradona will thus become the latest casualty from the managers’ bench, if he decides to step down for good.

Facts, Stats and All Thats

2010-07-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

FIFA World Cup 2010

The two day break in the World Cup has given us some time to gather our collective wits about ourselves and take a break. Though the same cannot obviously be said about the hundreds of analysts and number crunchers around the world. Here’s a few fun facts and stats of what has transpired so far….

If you have been asleep, in a bunker, or in DPR Korea the last few weeks, you can be forgiven if you aren’t up to date with the happenings of the World Cup. So here’s some tit-bits to get you going at the water-cooler chat.

1. Wayne Rooney got dispossessed of the ball 52 times, while in possession – the most by any player in the World Cup so far.

2. The average number of goals so far in the World Cup per game comes to 2.20. The lowest so far was in 1990, which was 2.21 goals per game.

3. The Nigerian President banned the national team from international football for two years. English fans are claiming to do the same with the English team as well, with some of them going so far as writing letters to clubs about halving the stars’ salaries in games.

4. Beckham has a chance to become next England’s manager. A recent poll in Britain put him at only a 16 to 1 shot to replace Capello – good odds!

5. Germany have stoked the fire ahead of their game against Argentina – calling them swarthy, conniving, tango-dancing cheats. Kind of true, considering Maradona’s antics and Tevez’s offside goal.

6. One of the funniest moments of the tournament, and I say this as a neutral observer, was Dutch striker Van Persie pleading to the referee that he couldn’t hear the whistle blown over all the vuvuzelas in the stadium. He would have been booked otherwise for continuing play even after being flagged offside, but the referee felt his case carried weight.

7. Ten of the worst referees of the tournament have been sent home. And guess what – the referees in the spotlight for the glaring mistakes in this World Cup are among them too.

8. It’s not everyday you see an English referee explaining to a bunch of South Americans about why he is booking them – and making a hash of it.

9. Kaka’s sending off during the match against Ivory Coast was both ridiculous and outrageous at the same time. He was forty yards away when the referee decided to send him off. He’s been playing with a big grin ever since.

10. This is the first time when a host nation has exited during the group stages itself. This is also the first instance when both the finalists of the previous World Cup exited during the group stages itself.

11. Most of the so-called superstars have exited one by one. Rooney, Lampard, Gerrard, Ronaldo, Drogba…only Messi seems to be enjoying himself. Note that four out of eight teams remaining are South American – maybe the balance of power is shifting?

12. France refusing to practice. Altercation between Anelka and Domenech. Domenech’s speech of using ‘revolutionary tactics at the World Cup’ coming to naught.

13. The pigeon perched on the Algerian goal during their match with England didn’t move at all. Not that it had to – but none of the English shots even came close to it.

14. The story England’s fans were so pissed that they stole the team’s undies and equipment. Turned out to be a hoax story.

15. The octopus Paul predicting each and every of Germany’s results correctly. For anyone who doesn’t know, it has also predicted that Germany will win against Argentina in the quarter finals.

16. Portugal’s captain Ronaldo spits in the direction of the camera. Not that he spit AT it. But it has sent headlines blazing.

17. DPR Korea registering a striker as a goalkeeper, in an underhand way to sneak in more striking options. FIFA wouldn’t hear of it; and the player was not allowed to play as an outfield player.

18. Rooney’s outburst at the English fans who booed the team during their games.

19. New Zealand went home unbeaten in the World Cup after three draws in the group stages. Italy finished below them.

20. Capello claiming that beer was the secret behind England’s only win at the tournament. Looks like they were still hung over during the German game.

More talking points to come by.

International Friendlies Lined up for Indian Football Team

2010-07-01T04:30:00.000-07:00

India’s football team have begun their preparations for the 2011 Asian Cup in earnest. Set to return to top-level competition after a gap of 26 years, Bob Houghton and his squad have spared no expense in preparing the team for the mega-event in Doha.

As Mr. Arunava Chaudari reported earlier today, the Indian football team is all set to travel to Portugal for a two month training camp. Out of the 30 probables that have been named for the squad, 29 will be travelling together to Portugal. Star striker Sunil Chettri is not expected to join the squad because of his commitments with the Kansas City Wizards, but defender Gouramangi Singh and goalkeeper Subrata Pal join the Indian side after failing to bag contracts at the Melbourne Heart FC and Vancouver Rapids, respectively.

The football squad will train at Vierra from July 1-31, which is 200 miles from Lisbon, on the road to Porto. The training facilities there are good, and the town also has a third-division team. The aim during the first month is to improve the fitness of all the players, since they are all part of different clubs and routines, and some have just recovered from injuries and are lacking the desired fitness levels, according to coach Bob Houghton.

In August, the Indian football team will travel to Lisbon where they’ll train at the training facilities of Sporting Club de Lisbon, a Portuguese Premier side.

“The players will train at the Sporting Clube academy for the month of August. The academy is famous for producing two World Footballers of the Year in Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo. We will play 10 friendlies there,” the experienced British coach said.

The ten friendlies scheduled are against second division teams.

On returning, the Indian football side has several international friendlies scheduled to keep up their international exposure, and to get used to different climates and tactical formations. The first will be against Thailand on September 4, which will be played in Bangkok. India will then host the return leg friendly against Thailand at the Ambedkar stadium on September 8th.

Four more friendlies have been planned for the month of September, and the AIFF has contacted countries such as Qatar, UAE, Bahrain, Oman, Kuwait, Jordan, DPR Korea and China. Exposure against such football sides will surely help the Indian team’s resolve and mental fitness, as some of them have represented Asia at the World Cups too.

October 8th and 12th are official FIFA match days, and India will play two internationals, the opponents are yet undecided. In November, they will travel to either UAE or Qatar for their final preparations before the Asian Cup in Doha.

India have been drawn in a very tough group, in fact in the so-called ‘Group of Death’, which also features Australia, South Korea and Bahrain. But coach Bob Houghton is not too worried, and in fact believes it will be a good experience for the side.

“Australians in the ongoing World Cup is an ageing side. I expect many of them retiring before Asian Cup. The coach will also retire, so we can expect a new-look squad. That would be better for us,” said the experienced coach who had been at helm of affairs for national sides of China and Uzbekistan.

“Regarding South Korea, only a couple of players from their World Cup squad may not be in Asian Cup. Their coach may also be there. When I was coach of China in 1998-2000 I was against the South Korean coach for three matches. So we know what to expect from the South Koreans,” he said.

Given the unusual 6-month training camp that the Indian football team will go through, Houghton certainly expects to make an impact at the Cup. He also agreed that the Asian Cup carried more importance than the Asian Games, and pointed out that even countries such as Japan and China send only developmental teams to the Games. And with all the international friendlies lined up, given that the Indian football team performs well, it will certainly not do any harm to our FIFA ranking as well.

Was England ever Truly in the Race?

2010-07-01T00:34:00.000-07:00

England, the Three Lions, had always been touted as a contender, and their exemplary qualifying campaign lay testimonial to the fact that they were indeed a force to be reckoned with. Hard core critics realized that while the World Cup glory might be a little far fetched for Capello’s boys, a top- four finish was certainly within reach. Boy, were they wrong!!

So what went wrong?

1. Wazza Rooney

For all the brilliance he showed during the Premier League, Rooney was nowhere near as influential during any of the matches he played in. For Manchester United, he was drafted in a duo with Ronaldo, Tevez, Berbatov, even Mihael Owen. WHen he was up on his own, too, he had Giggs, Valencia in support.

FUN STAT 1: Wayne Rooney has gotten tackled of the ball while in possession 32 times this World CUp, more than any other player in the tournament.

FUN STAT 2: Rooney has failed to score in his last nine games for England, his longest barren run for the national team.

FUN STAT 3: Rooney completed only 55 per cent of his passes for England against Germany – the lowest rate in the game.

The Boy Wonder just looked a pale shadow of the player who has won Premier League titles, a Champions’ League trophy, voted as the PFA Player of the Year, nominated for the Young Player of the Year, and what not. Where was the hunger and the versatility that prompted rumors about hi price tag being 90 million pounds?

2. ‘Terry’ble Defending:

Terry has seen the lowest point in his career now. The game against Germany was probably his worst in an England shirt. The oh-so inspirational “captain, leader, legend” at Chelsea was simply found lacking in positioning, speed and strength as Germany made a mockery of him. Call it the infamous interviews that has given, or the loss of captaincy which he claimed to have gotten over, it never really came together for Terry. And once your most experienced central defender is floundering, the backbone of the team cracks.

3. Capello (noun): Rigidity

Of course we are going to point fingers now, fellas. While Rooney might not like it, fans have indeed been let down. Among the meek rumors that dared to float around about the Italian manager, were those who whispered about his strict regime and attitude. Not that I have anything against it, but it certainly incenses us when translated on the pitch. Emile Heskey and Wright Phillips when the team is 4-1 down? And if three first round matches didn’t teach you that the front line wasn’t getting the goals, then I don’t know what did.

4. Off-Field:

England came into the World Cup with more than enough of the share of drama already. Ferdinand couldn’t play, and Gerrard took over at a very late hour. Beckham was injured, but offered moral support from the bench..and he did cut a desolate figure yesterday, not even being able to bring himself to watch the final few minutes. Terry and Bridge. Terry saying things to the public media Capello wasn’t too happy with. And worst of all – the complaint from the players that they were getting bored, and cursing Capello’s rules of not allowing their WAGs to stay with them at least till the quarter finals. They are playing for their country, in the world’ biggest sporting event. And complained about being bored! The signs were there for all to see.

Karma indeed caught up with the team at the most inopportune moment, with Lampard’s goal getting disallowed. (I refer to 1966 Eng-Germany)

All in all, this was neither the team we expected to see, nor the team we betted to reach the semifinals. Even Sven Goran Erikssen seems to have done better, with the Ivory Coast, inspite of being appointed as manager at a very late hour indeed. And the English team’s ride at the World CUp 2010, South Africa, was short. And wasn’t even fun while it lasted.

Time for introspection now, England.

The One-Goal Phenomenon: A Goal Analysis

2010-07-01T00:33:00.001-07:00

As can be seen clearly, this has been a defensive minded World Cup so far. 14 games have ended 1-0 and 7 games so far (including all pre-quarter finals) have ended goalless ( Japan v/s Paraguay penalties were taken as a 0-0 result).

26 games out of 56 have been decided by a goal difference of just 1.

14 others were draws, out of which 6 were goalless.

In fact, the only team that has by a single goal on more than one occasion is Chile, which was touted to be one of the most attack-minded teams of the tournament!

31 of the 48 games have seen two goals or less, whilst only three games have seen five or more goals.

What has caused this decline in goals? I remember a time when Arsenal were called the ’1-0 Arsenal’ as they grinded out result after dull result, one after the other. Is this similar?

One of the factors involved is obviously the Jabulani ball. It really seems to be as bad as it has been made out. Does anyone remember the dip it took on Ronaldo’s free-kick yesterday against Spain? Casillas almost spilled that one and pushed it back right in front of him towards a lurking attacker. Luckily for him and Spain, the defense got to the ball first. Green’s blunder against USA was another high profile error. There have been several more as well.

The argument you might make here is, if the ball is so difficult for keepers to handle, then why have we still seen so few goals? It has turned out that teams are very wary when keeping the ball. They know pelting their shots from long distance is almost certainly going to end in disappointment, given the ball’s weight and spin. More shots have ended in the crowds than seems worthy of a national team player. But they might not be to blame after all.

Only on a couple of occasions has the ball actually done enough to bring despair among goalkeepers though, most notably Maicon’s goal.

The other reason is that the smaller teams, or the more unfancied ones, have come to realize that the best way to attack is actually counter-attack. Teams like DPR Korea have understood that the drill is to defend and defend deep, pull out the oppositions’ players, and hit them on the break. While it has worked pretty well for some more than others, you cannot expect many goals to go in when the opposition has every man behind the ball. (Note that the comparison to DPR Korea does not stand ground as they let in seven goals against Portugal – but you get my gist).

When you see the attack-mindedness of Argentina, Brazil, Chile, in fact most of the South American countries, all the weaker teams can do is to come onto the field with a defensive mindset, looking to dry out the goals before snaring away a chance or two of their own. No doubt a good tactic – something that Jose Mourinho would be proud of, probably – but that’s what has caused the dearth of goals at this World Cup so far.

Beckham next England Coach?!? – The WC Hots and What Nots II

2010-07-01T00:32:00.001-07:00

Quite a few shockers in the last few days, and the excitement only gets better and better as teams batter each other in an attempt to win the ultimate prize – and some respect.

David Beckham the new England coach ?

The Hots:

1. David Beckham has gained popularity recently to replace Capello as English coach.

Becks, who missed the World Cup due to an injury, was seen on the bench for England’s matches, as he tried to offer moral support to a severely under-performing squad. I don’t know whether it was the sight of him in that stylish suit on the bench, or some one’s idea of a joke, but Beckham is now only a 16 to 1 shot away from being England’s next manager. What with every critic and pundit clamoring for an English manager who also places more emphasis on the youth system, Becks might actually be tempted!

2. Robinho was simply inspirational yesterday against Chile.

Say what you want about the guy’s flops at Manchester City – but Robinho sure does put a lot of pride when in the national jersey. His goal was simply sublime, and his work rate was even more commendable. He might not have played at the same position as Pele, but maybe – just maybe – he is finally showing us why he was once touted as the next best forward. Or maybe it was his beard that changed his fortunes. When asked about it, Robinho simply said that he had forgotten to shave.

3. Joaquim Loew explained his team strategy against England.

The stylish German manager talked about his tactics to exploit England’s slow defense to the press, and how to use the space left behind by Lampard and Gerrard. And that too all in front of Capello, who was waiting right behind Loew to talk to the press next. What class! Full marks in my book.

4. Mueller scored two goals in the second half against England to quash whatever hopes they had left.

All of 20 years, Mueller was singled out by his manager as a very cool finisher and a predator in the box. Not that The Brits needed any reminding of the fact.

5. Maarten Stekelenburg, Dutch goalkeeper.

No real reason, I didn’t put him on this list for his excellent instinctive saves in the second half that sent Slovakia packing. He gave away a penalty in the last minute of the game after charging and bringing down Vettek, who coolly scored his fourth goal of the tournament from the spot. That penalty scored me a cool 16 points in the Sportskeeda Predictor and pushed me into the top 10! All hail!

The What-Nots:

1. England: For a whole 2 minutes when they scored and had a goal disallowed, England looked every inch the team that bulldozed through their qualifying stages. Too bad about the other 88 minutes, though.

2. England: The Lions deserve another special mention, for their amazing defending that Capello could not believe he was watching. As Terry and Upton were made mockery of by the German front line, at least Ashley Cole and Glen Johnson had okay shifts.

3. Carlos Tevez: Whether he really is a top class striker is beyond question. But the way he celebrated his goal even though he knew he was clearly offside was worth watching.

4. Sepp Blatter and the Giga Fifa mistakes: Goal-line technology and video technology have been the war-cries issuing forth from all corners of the world. Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal and Tevez’s offside that was not given – in addition to showing it on the big screen in the stadiums – might have put crosshairs on FIFA’s head.

5. England: Oh yes, one more mention of the team that many of my friends were rooting for. And this special mention goes to Wayne Rooney who has screwed my Sportskeeda All-Star points!

Time for John Terry to start Tweeting

2010-07-01T00:31:00.000-07:00

John Terry loves the idea of a Press Conference

It seems we have heard it all. And then some. And out of nowhere, the so called ‘John Terry saga’ rears its ugly head yet again. Of course, I am a Chelsea fan. Of course, I do not like the allegations against him, even if they are true. Not that I consider his behavior inspirational. But enough already. Oh yes, the last that the so-called pundits have come up with, is his “factionist” remarks in the press conference, that has (apparently) left all of England seething.

Terry has been called so many names in the last few months that it’s hard to keep track of all his (mis)accomplishments! The latest among these so-called atrocities, is the public claim that Terry made, wanting his (now ex-)Chelsea teammate to get more time on the field for England than on the bench. Oh yes, what the World Cup needed was just this. We don’t care about the Anti-Vuvuzela Campaigns, the Anelka-Domenech issue, the French team skipping practice, the Maradonas claiming that they prefer women, the host nation getting knocked out, the North Koreans requesting to be called by their proper names only, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea – (but DPR takes so much lesser time to type), the Spanish loss, the German loss, the French loss, and what not.

Not to say England haven’t had their fare share of attention. Two dull draws at the group stages and everyone claims that the multimillionaire boys don’t want to spoil their white kits, with an eye on the pictures in the next day’s papers. What a load of tosh. Of course they are multimillionaires. But they are multimillionaires for a reason – they are among the best at what they do! Look at their qualifying campaign. Anyone who saw England in these matches can be forgiven if he said a month ago that England was going to win this World Cup. The second Golden Generation 34 years, a charm?

B******* Behind the back

Now Terry speaks out his mind to the public about what his team selection would be? Papers and reputed columnists are clamoring for his head. Letters might be on their way to Capello right now pleading him to a Domenech and send Terry the Anelka way. Apparently the so-called Player Power that these guys are used to at the Chelsea club has an effect on how they function while in their respective national jerseys as well. Well then, what about Lampard? Has he been involved in such matters? And Malouda? And Ashley Cole? Next we come to the fact, that TERRY IS NO LONGER THE CAPTAIN OF THE ENGLISH TEAM. Who scored the only goal that the sorry team has on their score sheets? Their new captain, Gerrard. So why the blazes should people pay so much attention and criticism to what Terry says? Oh yes, the oft-floated theory that Terry has not gotten over his demotion from captaincy, and that he will jump to any tactic to gain back his lost power in the dressing room. Well, Terry was sacked months ago! He knew beforehand that he would be sacked! He has still been the captain of his club! He has witnessed history while leading Chelsea FC to a double! Do the theories stand ground now too?

Fabio Capello animated

I loved a comment on a forum not unlike this one. “John Terry does press conference. John Terry says what most of the nation and all the hacks having been saying since Friday. Hacks praise John Terry’s honesty. Everyone goes to bed. Hacks lay in to John Terry for ‘attempted coup’. Sheep-like general public outraged with John Terry. Scapegoat ready in case of bad result on Wednesday.” Sums it up quite nicely, don’t you think? And a nice ring to it, too.

I have always been a fan of John Terry. I would love it if he reads my article! So here goes a personal message from me (and all the other fans) : Mr. Terry, we are delighted to have been brought up watching you play for club and country, putting your heart and soul into the sport, your blood and tears into the fans, and your sweat on the training grounds. But crowd tendencies to point fingers (justified or otherwise) may hurt your overall reputation and stature. Do not let it bother you. Do not give press conferences to air your views, especially if you are not captain. But by all means, use Twitter. (if you ain’t doing so already). Yeah, tweeting has it’s own share of scandals, but at least that forum is personal. Your views can be debated and clarified with you. Not like this, behind your back. Not like this, that leads to the the so-called “disharmony” in the English camp. Not like this, when England need to pull their socks up in the last game of qualifying to avoid going home in what would be a major upset.

P.S – The above article are purely the author’s views. Any comments or debates are more than welcome. The gist of the article is that I am a Chelsea fan, but don’t really care for the latest Terry conference. I do, however, make it a point NOT to go along with the public outcry.

Impossible Is Nothing

2010-06-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

To date, Impossible is Nothing is simply the most inspiring quote I have ever come across.

I remember the Adidas poster outside a showroom, opposite my junior college, that showed the quote in large bold letters. I remember waiting outside my college for the bus, and trying to memorize the entire piece.

It said: Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

Sports equipment and apparel maker Adidas has always been known for it’s innovative and inspiring advertising ideas, but this one just goes over the top for me. The slogan was launchead along with a video series that featured around 40 athletes from around the world.

In each video, a famous sports personality talks about his achievement, and the difficulties he / they had to face with to attain their goals, no matter how impossible they seemed to others. The list of sportsmen includes Argentina footballer Lionel Messi who talks about his early height impediment; Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar who tells us about his training methods; English footballer David Beckham, who talks about what he went through after being red carded during a World Cup match. Other prominent spokesmen include NBA star Gilbert Arenas, the New Zealand rugby team, etc.

Ads such as these certainly stir the audience

The Impossible is Nothing series also includes two videos about a couple of young street footballers, who pick international stars such as Gerrard, Lampard, Kahn, Zidane, Cisse, Platini, Kaka, Beckenbauer, etc. and play in a small small ground in a Spanish locality.

Campaigns such as this one certainly have a profound effect on the viewing audience, and convince youngsters that sports is not all about the sweat, stink and blood, but can also be about style, team spirit and skills.

Premier League Schedule for 2010-11 Season Out

2010-06-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

The fixtures of the new season of the Barclays Premier League were announced earlier today.

Season 2010-11 will kick off on August 14th, with all 20 teams in action. Defending champions Chelsea will face newly-promoted West Bromwich Albion at the Stamford Bridge. Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United,too, entertain promoted Newcastle United.

Blackpool, the third team to be promoted, will clash with Wigan Athletic for their first match in top-flight.

The biggest match of the opening day, arguably, will feature Liverpool at home to Arsenal. Liverpool, who parted ways with Benitez earlier in the summer, are yet too announce their new manager, and also face uncertainty about the future of the club, what with it being on sale. Arsenal, however, will be high on confidence after the new signings join them, and Arsene will look to go one better this season and land a major trophy.

Another big match though, will be Tottenham versus Manchester City, at White Hart Lane. The last time these two sides clashed, it was almost a playoff for the final Champions League berth, and Mancini’s ManCity will have a bitter taste in their mouth about those memories. Having to settle for the Europa League in spite of their signings, the blue half of Manchester seems destined to go on yet another spending spree and bring in a couple of more high profile signings after the World Cup.

Boxing Day fixtures, too are set to be a hoot with Arsenal hosting Chelsea at home, and Aston Villa host Tottenham. The December mothnw ill witness Chelsea play Arsenal, Manchester United and Tottenham in what promises to be a mouth-watering battle for top spot.

Add to that the Champions League and the Europa League schedules, and fans across the world will be licking their lips in anticipation.
OPENING DAY FIXTURES

Aston Villa v West Ham
Blackburn v Everton
Blackpool v Wigan
Bolton v Fulham
Chelsea v West Brom
Liverpool v Arsenal
Man Utd v Newcastle
Sunderland v Birmingham
Tottenham v Man City
Wolverhampton v Stoke

BOXING DAY FIXTURES

Arsenal v Chelsea
Aston Villa v Tottenham
Blackburn v Stoke
Blackpool v Liverpool
Bolton v West Brom
Everton v Birmingham
Fulham v West Ham
Man Utd v Sunderland
Newcastle v Man City
Wolverhampton v Wigan

FINAL DAY FIXTURES

Aston Villa v Liverpool
Bolton v Man City
Everton v Chelsea
Fulham v Arsenal
Man Utd v Blackpool
Newcastle v West Brom
Stoke v Wigan
Tottenham v Birmingham
West Ham v Sunderland
Wolverhampton v Blackburn

Roy Hodgson or Kenny Dalglish: The Next Top Kop?

2010-06-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

Benitez’s departure to Internazionale has prompted a flurry of activity among former players and management, and fans around the world are waiting eagerly as to who will eventually be named in the hot-seat.

Kop legend Dalglish, Fulham manager Hodgson, Mark Hughes and Italy coach Lippi have emerged the top names for the seat. Lippi has denied that he will be involved with the club after the World Cup, so we will look at the other two contenders.

1. Kenny Dalglish:

Benitez himself has given the thumbs-up to Dalglish throwing his hat in the ring. Dalglish, a Liverpool legend, has received support for his decision from many of the former players as well.

After Rafa Benitez left Liverpool last week, the club issued a statement saying that Dalglish would lead the search for a new manager alongside managing director Christian Purslow.

Dalglish, who quit as Liverpool boss in 1991 before going on to manage Blackburn and Newcastle, has taken one look at the shortlist of candidates and decided he could do a better job than those who have so far been identified. Dalglish, 59, won three league titles as Reds’ boss between 1985 and 1991.

Turning to Dalglish also saves any compensation claim, such as the 2.5 million pounds it would need to grab Roy Hodgson from Fulham.

Dalglish’s son, meanwhile, has claimed his father only wants to succeed Benitez at Anfield owing to an absence of credible alternatives.

Paul Dalglish, now head coach of Tampa Bay Rowdies, revealed: “It’s not as though Jose Mourinho is going to come and do the job.

“It’s not as though Fabio Capello’s going to leave England to become the next manager of Liverpool.

“My dad wants to do the job and he feels he is the best person available to do the job.

“If Jose Mourinho was available and he wanted to do the job, my dad wouldn’t have any interest in it because all my dad ever does is act in the best interests of Liverpool Football Club.”

Roy Hodgson - In deep thought

2. Roy Hodgson:

Fulham boss Hodgson was the toast of the last season, leading Fulham to the Europa League finals only two seasons after they were threatened with relegation.

Liverpool are not keen on appointing Kenny Dalglish, but with support growing for the Scot, the club are keen to appoint someone else quickly to avoid being pressured into a decision.

Talks between Hodgson and the club have been scheduled to take place, with Aston Villa manager Martin O’Neill also on the shortlist of candidates to replace Rafael Benitez.

Hodgson’s appointment though could be subject to whether he believes the current financial turmoil surrounding the club will affect his ability to manage.

The former Blackburn and Switzerland manager has a £2.5m buy-out clause in his current one-year Fulham contract, but the west London club are said to be doing their best to tie him down further.

The Sun reports that owner Mohamed Al Fayed is prepared to double Hodgson’s £1m-a-year deal, while Fulham are also hoping that the 62-year-old will stay in the hope that he will become the next England manager.

“Leaving Fulham to take over at England would be seen as the pinnacle of Roy’s career,” an insider told the paper.

“And everyone thinks that’s what he would love to do. He could miss out on that if he gets tempted by Liverpool and then the England job comes up not long after.”

Hodgson has been more of a certainty than Dalglish, with calls for an English manager to take up the job coming in.

Whoever take over the job, though, has a lot of issues to take care of immediately, not least the club being up for sale, and also that Torres, Gerrard and Benayoun being in other clubs’ crosshairs for quite a while now. Transfers have been postponed till the new manager is announced. Even Benitez is planning to try and buy Mascherano and Kuyt as his fist signings at Inter Milan.

However, like former captain Mark Wright suggests, any manager who brings success to the club after such a dismal season will be viewd as a ‘God’. Both Wright, and present England defender Carragher have urged the club to finalize the decision quickly.