3:16 The Veil

False Claim of All Future Sin Forgiven

2011-10-27T20:32:00.002-04:00

I couldn't put it any better than this. This is the best explanation I've read with regards to clarity and precision. I pray those who read this will be blessed.

Bernie Koerselman
Unfortunately, the Calvinistic doctrine of perseverance has unusual teachings with respect to sin. Notwithstanding the scriptures we have already seen which show that the person who continues in sin will be condemned to the lake of fire, proponents of this 5th point of Calvinism teach quite a different doctrine with respect to sin. They claim, consistent with their doctrine that once saved they cannot lose their salvation, and that all future sin is forgiven once they have once had a salvation experience.

The notion that all future sin is automatically forgiven if one has once had a moment of saving faith is conclusively shown to be false as we look for the third time at Hebrews 10:26-27: If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Note that the scripture speaks of Christians who “have received the knowledge of the truth.” Note that the scripture specifically speaks about sins occurring after having received the knowledge of the truth, exactly that time in which Dr. Stanley and Calvinism claim all sins are forever forgiven.

What will happen to the millions of people who believe they can deliberately keep on sinning because all their future sins are forgiven? My heart simply breaks for all those people in churches teaching this doctrine. Scripture is NOT ambiguous on this subject. It is overwhelmingly clear. Furthermore, it is repetitive, stressing this theme over and over. Yet millions of people who do not bother to personally know Scripture, but who trust the teachings of their pastors and churches, are headed for hell if they deliberately continue in sin. They may be some who are referred to in the following parable told by Jesus: “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’ “But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’
“Then you will say, ‘We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’
“But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!’ (Luke 13:24-27).

Are you grasping the horror of that parable? These are people who not only know about Jesus, they think they know him. They will be knocking, wanting and expecting to enter the kingdom of God. They will tell Jesus, “We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.” But he will say, “I don’t know you or where you come from.” He calls them evildoers! What do evildoers do? They continue in sin!

LORD, LORD!

2011-10-17T12:54:00.001-04:00

During His ministry, Jesus faced the problem of people who would follow Him for the wrong reasons. He was constantly challenging them to count the cost and to make sure that their motives were right.

He wants us all to follow Him, but He wants us to do it for the right reasons.

To truly come to know God, I must come on His terms and not my own. I must do it His way and not mine.

It is not for me to pick and choose the commandments in the Bible that personally appeal to me or the attributes that I personally find interesting or appealing. It is for me to live life God's way or not to follow Him at all.

It is clear that there are many today who do not follow Him for the right reasons. Jesus taught that there would be those on judgment day who thought they were believers but really were not.

In Matthew 7:21, Jesus makes this radical statement, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven."

If you are primarily interested in what is cool or what is hip or what is socially acceptable, I'm telling you right now that following Jesus Christ probably won't work for you.

But if you are interested in what is right and what is the best way to spend your life, and if you are interested in the hope of heaven and a life with meaning, then there are no other options to choose from.

Be the Blessing

ABIDING IN CHRIST

2011-10-05T14:13:00.000-04:00

Article: In His Steps Ministries

The most important factor in our walk with Jesus Christ is to abide in him. The more we abide in Christ, the more we will have peace, victory over sin, and be In His Steps. What does it mean to abide in Christ? Let's first look at the definition for the word abide.

ABIDE:

to wait for
to endure without yielding
to bear patiently
to accept without objection
to remain stable or fixed in a state
to continue in a place
Synonyms: Stay, continue, bear

ABIDING: enduring, continuing

To abide has to do with the concept of 'being' instead of 'doing'. Doing in relation to the Christian walk is: reading your Bible, going to church, praying, witnessing, doing good works, fleeing sin, etc. These are all good things to do as a Christian. These are things we should be doing. If we are not doing these things our walk with God and others will suffer. However, if we are doing these things just because we are suppose to, or we are doing them in our own strength, we will not have victory or peace and miss out in having an intimate relationship with Christ. If we are not careful, we can become works oriented instead of Christ oriented.

To Abide in Christ is to be in the 'being' mode. We still are doing the things that God has called us to, but we are doing it in His strength. Abiding in Christ is about having an intimate relationship with Him. The relationship is more important than the things we do or don't do. The more we are abiding in Him, the more we will be faithul. We will hear His voice clearer, not be works oriented, and have more peace in our life. To abide is to experience His presence.

Let's explore the definition of abide:

To wait for-We as Christians need to spend much more time waiting on God. By this we mean spending time with God, seeking His will, not jumping ahead of Him.
To endure without yielding-To be determined to experience God's presence.
To bear patiently-To abide in Christ when we don't feel like it. To be patient waiting for God to reveal His will and Himself.
To continue in a place-We need to spend more time, staying in His presence.

If we are abiding in Christ, we can be assured that we will walk IN HIS STEPS.

Abiding in Christ is a process. We don't get there over night. So don't get discouraged if it seems hard to just 'rest in Him'. Enjoy the mountains, the ocean, the blue skies (even the thunder and lightning), the green pastures (even the hot desert). As you enjoy God's creation, you will sense His presence. Abiding will come. Stop and 'smell the roses'.

Be the Blessing

What Do You Think?

2011-08-22T07:42:00.000-04:00

Deuteronomy 8:17-18

What Men think:

¹⁷ You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.”

How God thinks:

¹⁸ But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

Be the Blessing

Live With the Pain of Your Past, Not In It!

2011-06-09T07:15:00.001-04:00

II Corinthians 12:9
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (NIV)

None of us like pain! We'd rather enjoy our Christian journey pain free. However, the consequences of past sin in our lives doesn't leave us. If we have asked Christ to forgive us of our sins, they truly are gone!

However, we still have to live with the pain of poor choices and decisions we have made in our past. Don't let the pain become your focus. You are forgiven!

Keep walking towards Christ. It may not be the path you envisioned, but Christ will be there to welcome you with open arms. You can make it.

Be the Blessing

The Past Is Not In My Future!

2011-02-14T07:42:00.000-05:00

Leave your past in the past and reach towards God's vision for your life! Holding on to the past and all its mistakes will only hinder you from taking hold of the future God has planned for you.

Don't let your past keep you from your future. Don't waste another day of your life allowing Satan to torment you over your past.

Be the Blessing

Honesty of Job

2011-02-03T07:54:00.001-05:00

One of the bravest requests of a man to God is spoken by Job in chapter 31:5-6 “If I have walked with falsehood, Or if my foot has hastened to deceit, Let me be weighed on honest scales, That God may know my integrity.” Being weighed on honest scales is asking our heart to be weighed by God’s heart. We all fall short of the glory of God, therefore man can never come up balanced when weighed with honest scales. God said in all these things Job did not sin. His faith never wavered, his responses to his friends, his responses to his wife, his responses to his circumstance, and his responses to God Himself remained pure of heart. No greed, no deceit was ever found in him.

To be able to do this on a daily basis, a man must yield to the Holy Spirit. No person can face Satan’s wiles alone. The world’s siren song is drawing men away from God and toward all the things God abhors as the seven things found in Proverbs 6 such as a lying tongue, a proud look, hands that shed innocent blood, devising wicked plans, feet that run to evil, a false witness, lips that incite discord among the brethren. May no believer ever do these things.

Do Not Give Up

2011-01-24T17:05:00.000-05:00

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Do not drag yesterday into your future.

Perhaps you have just lost your job. Do not major on your feelings of rejection. Instead, point out the possibility of promotion and changes of freedom that suddenly may emerge.

Nurture the photograph of possibilities within your heart. Elijah gave the widow of Zarephath a picture of her potential. It stirred her expectations of a miracle harvest in her life. (1 Kings 17)

A goal is a dream with a deadline. You must be consistent in what you do and what you believe.

Choose Your Attitude

2010-07-30T09:09:00.000-04:00

Our attitude is a choice. When we face a struggle, then praise the Lord!
"My brothers count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith develops patience. But let patience have its perfect works, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:2-4)

The most significant decision we can make every day is our choice of attitude. When our attitude is right, there is no challenge too great for us. We cannot allow petty things to destroy our peace. When we are criticized remember what the Word says, "beware when all men speak well of you." The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. We must choose our attitude early in the day before things have a chance to go wrong.

"I love them that love me and those that seek me early shall find me." (Proverbs 8:17) Not only does your attitude determine what you can achieve, but it is also contagious. Hope is strangled by discouragement, but joy is poison to discouragement.

Our attitude toward other people will determine other's attitude toward us. It is like the Lord said, "Do unto others as you would have them to unto you." Do not let your bad attitude affect your level of success, your relationships or your eternal destiny.

Be the Blessing

Renewing The Mind

2010-06-16T10:39:00.012-04:00

Do we have to remain victims of mental strongholds in our lives, for the rest of our lives? Absolutely not. If we have been trained wrong, can we be retrained? If we have learned to believe a lie, can we choose to believe the truth? If we have programmed our computers wrong, can they be reprogrammed?

Absolutely, but we have to want to renew our minds. How? Our lives are transformed as we renew our minds through the hearing of God's word, bible studies, personal discipleship and Christ centered counseling (Rom. 12:2). Because some of these strongholds are thoughts raised against the knowledge of God (2 Cor. 10:5), learning to know God as a loving father and yourself as his accepted child is a good starting place.

Be the Blessing

The Spiritual Battle For Your Mind

2010-06-01T23:23:00.003-04:00

Satan's strategy is to introduce his thoughts and ideas into your mind and deceive you into believing they are yours. It happened to King David. 1 Chronicles 21:1 ~ "Then Satan stood up against Israel and moved David to number Israel," an act God had forbidden, and David acted on Satan's idea. Did Satan manifest himself to David and audibly say, "I want you to number Israel"? No, I don't think so. David was a Godly man and he wouldn't have obeyed Satan. What if Satan slipped the idea into David's mind in first person singular? What if the thought came to David as, "I need to know how large my army is; I think I'll count the troops"? These were David's thoughts. At least he thought they were, but that isn't what scripture says.

If Satan can place a thought in your mind....And He Can....it isn't much more of a trick for him to make you think it is your idea. If you knew it was Satan, you would reject the thought, wouldn't you? When he disguises his suggestions as your thoughts and ideas, however, you are more likely to accept them. This is his PRIMARY deception. Satan, by his very nature, is a liar first and foremost. The Father of Lies! John 8:44 ~ "You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

Because Satan's primary weapon is the lie, your defense against him is the truth. Dealing with Satan is not a power encounter it is a truth encounter. When you expose Satan's lie with God's truth, his power is broken. John 8:32 ~ "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Paul tells us to put on "the belt of truth" in dealing with the devil, and for good reason. Is it a coincidence that is the first thing he tells us to put on? I don't think so either.

Be the Blessing

Your Services Are Required

2010-02-02T23:32:00.002-05:00

1 Peter 4:10-11
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen

All believers have been given gifts by God that we are to use in service to Him. How well we serve others directly impacts our personal walk with God. It is vitally important that we use the gifts God has given us even when we aren't aware of someone else's circumstances. You never know when God has brought you into someone's life to encourage them in their walk with Him or to lead them into a personal relationship with Jesus.

What are you doing for Christ? Are you using the gifts He has given you? Are you serving Him?

I have found the best way to live the greatest life in this world is to be more concerned with the next one. C. S. Lewis said, "Aim for heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither."

So as I aim at heaven, as I am thinking about fellowshipping with the Lord, earth will be thrown in. I can have the greatest life on this earth--not because I am trying to obtain happiness or fulfillment, but because I am trying to walk with God and please Him.

Be the Blessing

"That Was Good....But"

2010-01-27T21:24:00.000-05:00

Isn't it great that we serve a God who first forgave us? We didn't deserve His forgiveness then and nothing has changed over the past 2000 years with the human race so it's probably safe to say that we don't deserve His forgiveness now. And still He forgives us! If you stop and think of all the sins we have committed against God it's easy to wonder "why?" isn't it? Why and how. How can He forgive such atrocities and why would He time and time again?

It's love. Plain and simple. He loves us with a kind of love that we can never fully understand, and won't understand until we see Him face to face. What we do know is that His love transcends all boundaries, whereas our love usually comes with a bunch of rules and possibly even a set of instructions. Is that really Love?

Start today with removing the boundaries and rules you have set on your love. No more preconceived notions, no more boundaries. Choose to love because you are loved. Learn how to give good compliments. Don't be that guy who tries to give a compliment only to blow it by adding "But" to the end of it. "You did a really good job on that...But." That's not a compliment. Love says, "You did a really good job." Period, that's it!

Choose today to love because you are loved. Choose today to forgive because you are forgiven!

Memory Verse:
Matthew 5:23
~"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

Be the Blessing

Adding Eternal Value To Your Life

2010-01-20T08:11:00.002-05:00

Scripture says that Jesus chose to become poor--leaving heaven and everything that belonged to Him as God's Son--so we might become rich.

2 Cor. 8:9
~For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.

Those riches of grace are described in Ephesians 1. Many of us don't realize that we are rich, because we think in earthly terms--bank accounts and material possessions--instead of spiritual ones. While these items provide us with comfort and pleasure, they have no eternal value. Our real wealth is found in the spiritual blessings we've been given through Christ.

If you've been busy "keeping up" with the latest and greatest of everything this world has to offer let me suggest to you that it's time to refocus. Not only have we allowed this world to steal our attention away from God but most of the time our attitude is one of shallow character as a result.

This is to say that when we are having a good day it's easy to be happy. But what about the days when things aren't so good, are you still happy? I can honestly say that the greatest people I've ever known were those who kept their joy and had a positive attitude during times of crisis and adversity. You would never had known that they just had a horrible day, because they didn't wear their emotions on their sleeve and take out the days events on those around them. They always treated people the same; with love, joy, and respect.

Can you say today that you are one of these people, or does the days events dictate your actions and reactions and how you treat those around you? Read 2 Cor. 8:9 again and think of the sacrifice that was made on your behalf. Let us honor that great sacrifice by treating one another with respect and dignity.

Be the Blessing

What Should Worship Look Like?

2010-01-11T13:15:00.004-05:00

This is a small exerpt from an article written by Skye Jethani of SkyeBox. I found it to be insightful enough to repost. Go here for the full article: What Should Worship Look Like?

The early Christians gathered regularly for worship, and the writer of Hebrews even commands his readers to not neglect meeting together as some were in the habit of doing. The problem is not our gatherings, but what we expect from them. If corporate worship is an external display of an internal reality, the glory of Christ that abides within, then these gatherings will not be full of passive spectators. These events will be where Christians gather to show a watching world the continual worship that marks their lives-whether it is celebratory, reflective, or even repentant.

However, if people have no sustainable communion with Christ through his indwelling Spirit, they will come to worship seeking a temporary filling; a transient dose of glory to carry them along. And rather than reflecting the full spectrum of the human-divine relationship as revealed in Scripture (particularly the Psalms), these gatherings will fixate on only one element-the celebratory. Over time as the familiar experience offers a diminishing return, religious consumers will either demand more energy through innovation, or they will shift to another church looking for a “new” experience. They will be drawn by promises of transformation and a genuine encounter with God, but we must ask whether people leave these experiences radiating the unfading glory of the Lord, or merely sprouting the horns of consumerism.

Be the Blessing

Do You Know?

2009-12-31T10:42:00.003-05:00

You cannot adequately defend the faith unless you know God's Word.

False teachers will use faulty interpretation and half-truths to lure believers to their way of thinking. The prime targets are Christians with no firsthand knowledge of Scripture--men and woman who listen to sermons but do not study for themselves. According to Jesus' explanation of His seed parable, these are people without roots (Luke 8:13). In contrast, the seeds in good soil hold fast to the Word (v. 15). A believer's roots must be sunk so deeply into Scripture that no false ideology can squeeze through. In spite of the world's claims, truth is not a matter of interpretation.

Believers have a responsibility to guard against error. In fact, John went so far as to encourage his flock to shut out anyone who preached a message different from Christ's (2 John 10). He saw no need to greet deceitful teachers. Note his advice, all you who think good manners require listening to misguided religious people at your door. It's appropriate not to be their audience. Your task is to hold fast to God's truth.

Study biblical principles so that you can confidently proclaim, "I know the truth because I have read it for myself."

Be the Blessing

A Picture Of Grace

2009-12-18T09:40:00.016-05:00

In Ephesians 2:1-3 our lives are laid out before us. Here we can see what we are from the very beginning when we are born into this world. It gives proof that we are not alone. Proof that we are loved by our creator. And proof of our needs, our need of a savior.

1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.

First, we were dead in our trespasses and sins. This means that every one of us is born with a deadness to the things of God--we come into this world with no spiritual life. Our nature leans away from the Lord and toward ourselves. Secondly, our thinking and behavior follow the world's, which, according to the Scriptures, is under Satan's control. His plan always opposes God's and leads us to rebel against divine commands.

If you have not trusted in the Savior, then you are spiritually dead, separated from God, and under His judgment. You may be very religious and yet lack a personal relationship with Christ. There is nothing you can do of your own power to save yourself from God's judgment. No "good works" or "being good" will save you, nor will your sins go away if you choose to ignore them.

God offers you salvation today through faith in Jesus. His offer proves His love, grace, and compassion that He has for us. And keep in mind Psalm 14:1 - The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”

Be the Blessing

Great Struggles From Big Distractions

2009-11-24T21:34:00.012-05:00

These are days of great struggles; for me, for you, for all of us, no one is exempt. It's hard to stay focused on what really matters with so many distractions these days. If you are like me you not only struggle with new distractions that tend to start off small and seemingly inconsequential but also some old demons that raise their heads up every now and then. It's not easy on this path of chasing after God and His righteousness when it seems at times as though evil triumphs daily.

But there is hope. God has made the very thing that is so hard to do(spending time with Him), also the easiest thing to do. "But how" do you ask? It's like this. God isn't a phone call away. He isn't waiting for you to find a quiet place all alone for you to spend time with Him. He's not waiting for you to go to church or waiting for you speak to your pastor, friends, and family so He can give you His word and advice.

Christian, God is inside your very living, breathing heart. You are indwelt with His Holy Spirit! And because His spirit is living in us we have instant and constant communication with Him. There is no place we can go, no place we can be, no situation we can be in, where He is not there with us.

We, are distracted from Him, not Him from us. Distraction is a tool of satan to help render Christians practically useless. He knows if he can keep us distracted long enough and interrupt our communication with God we will eventually fall out of God's will (becoming ineffective in the world) and out from under His hand of protection.

To stay connected all we need do is keep that line of communication open all the time. Do this, yes by praying, but know that you don't have to be in "formal prayer" to talk to and have a conversation with God. Read scripture! It was written for this very reason. Learn to fight against new distractions before they well up and become a very real problem. Set some rules and boundaries in place to help you.

2 Corinthians 10:15
~ We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The very "Knowledge of God"! Isn't it interesting to know that He tells us to demolish even the smallest pretension that comes from anyone or anything that tries to hide or distort any knowledge of Himself? This is one way of Him saying, "I am Real, I am Here!"

An amazing thing happens after reading those words.......All my distractions are gone.

Be the Blessing!

Do You Worry?

2009-09-30T12:34:00.003-04:00

If you are someone who worries about so many different things your friends call you a "worry wort" I have good news for you. God loves you so much that He is called "The Great Counselor". Jesus once asked, "who among you can add one day to his life by worrying about the future?" Worry is not from God but from satan, designed to keep your attention on everything else and not God. Let tomorrow worry about itself, and keep your focus on Jesus.

Be The Blessing

This Is Your Wake Up Call!

2009-07-28T22:28:00.011-04:00

Has it ever occurred to you that life might be better and easier if there were someone who already knew the best road to take? The best job to take? The right person for you to be with? Simply put, someone who would help you at every turn to do what is right and to help you know what the better and wiser choices were. If you're not a christian then your answer is to look to Jesus. He is The One. Read the Bible and see for yourself if what I say is true. And just so you know, it will be quick, unless the Truth is not in you.

If you are a christian then to you I say, "Quit asking God to walk with you!" That may sound rather harsh but it's true. We are not called to a life of begging God to walk with us. We are called to a life where we are to walk with God. Too many times we walk wherever our hearts lead us, counting on God to bless our sweet and selfish hearts.

God's blessings only come to those who do what He says. That is worth repeating...God's blessings only come to those who Do what He says! And the only way to find out what He says is to read His Word, The Holy Bible. It's not Holy for nothing!

Learn to walk with God in daily obedience. EPH 4:1 ~I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received. We have all been called to live our lives following God. Walk with Him... and be blessed.

Be the Blessing

Depression....Part of Hell on Earth

2009-07-16T10:41:00.005-04:00

Have you ever seen someone who was seriously depressed? Maybe you even know how it feels personally. I admit, I do.

It starts off as self-pity and builds from there; or should I say it goes downhill from there? Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you go deeper and deeper. As you fall deeper you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness is profound. I mean this in the most literal sense!

Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of Jesus Christ shining down on you. Though the Light looks dim from your perspective, deep in the pit, those rays of hope can reach you at any depth. While you focus on Jesus in trust, you rise slowly out of the abyss of despair. Finally you can reach up and grab His hand; He will pull you back into the Light again. He will gently cleanse you, slowly redeeming you. He will cover you with His righteousness and put you back on your feet again. You will still be broken, but the good news is He takes the broken pieces of your life and puts them back together again and creates in you a better you!

Be the Blessing

To Write Love On Her Arms

2009-06-25T22:54:00.004-04:00

This is a fantastic and true story. To learn more and how you too can help follow the link at the bottom.

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

Visit: twloha

Be the Blessing

Perfect Love

2009-05-29T09:55:00.005-04:00

Have you ever gone to the grocery store on an empty stomach?... You buy everything you don't need. Doesn't matter if it's not good for you...

When you're lonely, you do the same in life... For fear of not fitting in, we take the drugs. For fear of standing out, we wear the clothes. For fear of appearing small, we go into debt and buy the house. For fear of going unnoticed, we dress to seduce or to impress. For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone. For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places.

But all that changes when we discover God's perfect love. And "perfect love casts out fear". 1 John 4:18

Be the Blessing

The APC Plan - Positive Conflict Resolution for Families

2009-05-11T08:20:00.006-04:00

“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry,” is what students/siblings receive over and over again, and then the perpetrator receives a time out, grounding, loses privileges or in the school, detention, work detail, time out or suspension. The perpetrator then becomes resentful toward the person and attempts to be more covert in hurting or provoking the victim the next time. Additionally, the above listed punishments isolates or further creates a divide between the students from the victim rather than repair the relationship.

FAMILY SCENARIO: I also remember sitting in my conference room with parents and two siblings and I had just explained the APC plan to them and the brother called his sister an “idiot.” So I had him Apologize and then his Plan to “Make it Up to her” was to say four positive affirmations (not compliments) about her character and talents and he could only come up with two. His parents were shocked and said “Surely you can think of four character traits about your sister?” So I turned to the parents and said “Maybe you could help him out?” The parents came up with two positive character attributes between the two of them and then they were stumped. Part of the problem is that we focus so much on telling our kids what not to say by saying “You shouldn’t Say that” or “How many times have I told you that is wrong,” etc., that we do not take the time to teach them what to say. So I helped the brother out and then established if he called her another name this week he would still need to Apologize, then have a Plan to “Make it Up” to her by saying four character traits and then have a Consequence and would do one of her chores for her.

SCHOOL SCENARIO: A principal of a large private school called Jim West to ask for advice with a student who was having significant problems over the past few years and this time had pushed a student in the bathroom and hit his head on the wall. Jim recommended the APC Plan for the student. A-Apologize, and P-Plan to “make it up to him” cleaning out his desk or carry his backpack for the day. The student did not want to do either plan, but the principal wisely responded by saying why not think about it and we will deal with it first thing the next morning as she realizes when we are angry we need time to cool down. When we are angry we are “Temporarily Insane” and do not think logically and may say or do something we would not normally otherwise. The next morning the boy entered her office and, get this, he offered to both carry the other boy’s backpack & clean out his desk. Now these boys had been enemies for three years, so when it came time for his backpack to be carried do you think the victim would let the other boy out of his sight with his backpack[?] . . . NO WAY! So picture two boys walking down the hall together, one carrying 2 backpacks and the other snickering a little but starting to connect throughout the day. This happens in schools using the APC plan all over the state because if the person responsible does not “Make it Up” then they lose their privileges at school until they do comply. So back to the two boys walking together the rest of the day . . . I spoke with the father of one of the boys about a year ago and was told the boys have been spending the night and doing things together ever since and that was 1 1/2 years later.

So what’s exciting about this illustration is that with this plan, instead of isolating the perpetrator with punishment, the kids are given a format to repair or rebuild the relationship by “making it up." The boy in the school illustration was made aware by the principal that there would be an additional C-Consequence if this happens again and the consequence is always an “additional task or chore” for the victim to assure the student this would not happen again. However, it’s rare that it goes beyond the first step.

SIBLING RIVALRY is cut significantly as well with this process as siblings will Apologize and Plan to “Make it up” by doing a chore for a sibling instead of using time out or grounding siblings and experience a closer sibling relationship and learn positive socialization skills as well.

DETENTION ELIMINATION: Some schools have incorporated this process in their discipline program and have seen a 50% drop in discipline problems and have eliminated their after school detention program.

BULLYING PROGRAM: This program is also used by schools to reduce Bullying by teaching students positive socialization, how to resolve conflict with the APC Plan and how to repair past hurts.

For helpful resources to save time by solving other parenting challenges visit:

http://www.totallifecounseling.com/

http://www.LifeWorksGroup.org/

http://www.Family.org/

http://www.familylife.com/

http://www.vitishealthcare.com/

http://www.AACC.net/

http://www.newlife.com/

NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically or in print, provided you leave the authors contact information below intact.About the Author: James L West is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and in practice since 1994 with a primary focus on child and adolescent issues. James is an author, professional speaker, school consultant, counselor and coach. He provides consultation to public and private schools across the state of Florida. His retreats are dynamic and with a purpose. Jim has clients come from all over Florida, Georgia, the Bahamas and England as 85% of his clients do not need medication. Jim uses FDA approved supplements and dietary changes along with therapeutic interventions, family education and support, social skills groups, leadership camps and more to assist families.Access more complimentary counseling and coaching resources from The Total Life Counseling Center (407.248.0030) by visiting their extensive posting of blogs and special reports designed to save you time by strategically solving problems at http://www.totallifecounseling.com/

Four Financial Facts of Life to Teach Children

2009-04-24T22:55:00.006-04:00

Teaching Millenials the Value of a Buck!

Mommy I want that new video game! Dad I want the new I-Phone! Grandma I want the new Mac Book! Most parents have heard some variation of the above statements. Parents usually are the primary financial educators for their children. Time after time, I have seen young people receive sizable allowances or inheritances, without a base of knowledge in financial planning. Consider the following five points to assist the children in your life to have a responsible attitude about money.

1) Be a Role Model – The way parents spend money and the way children view money has a significant correlation. Consider discussing the family’s financial goals and plans with the children. How much you share is to your discretion, but include the younger generation in at least a portion of the monthly management. How parents deal with money issues, from the monthly bills to planning family vacations can be important in teaching the children money management and the value of money.

2) Encourage Savings and Investments – To encourage children to save money is one of the simplest ways to encourage a responsible attitude about money. This could include designating a portion of a child’s allowance to a saving account, or making gifts of cash directly to an account in their name. Parents can discuss the account statements with the children and introduce the concept “paying yourself first”.

3) Develop a Sense of Financial Empowerment – It is important that parents develop responsible spending habits by well thought-out choices. In order to guide and direct rather than dictate the savings and spending. Take children on window-shopping trips to compare prices and products and adopt the mind set that every trip to a store is an exercise leading to a potential purchase. For example, consider limiting impulse buying by implementing a rule that prices and products are compared at a minimum of three locations.

4) Give Unto Others – Involve children in the financial decisions regarding philanthropy. By helping children contribute time or money to a charitable cause, it can teach them that money is important in ways others than personal consumption.

Reference: Matthew P. Bartolomei, Financial Advisor http://www.fa.smithbarney.com/mattbartolomei/index.htm
Excerpt taken from the TLCCR Archive.