The Vern's Videovangaurd.

The Great Debate: The Great Gatsby.

2013-05-15T04:31:00.001-05:00

This is mainly just a pilot to test everyone's interest in this. Every week or so I am going to be posting two separate reviews from two different writers on one movie. Next I will gage audience interests by hosting a poll on the sidebar to see which review was better. At the end of the week that person will get bragging rights and then be put into a championship round at the end of summer. Makes sense, good. Are you ready for the first movie. No, well too late because here it comes.

The Great Gatsby.

There have been at least five adaptations of F Scott Fitzgerald's literary masterpiece. The most notable version was released in 1974 with Mia Farrow and Robert Redford as the title character. Now we get a new version for 2013 with Leonardo DiCaprio taking over the lead role and an updated soundtrack by Jay Z. Right now it has about a 50% approval from Rotten Tomatoes and the reviews I have been reading for this are indeed mixed. I decided to post two different reviews and ask you which one holds up more.

On the side that is praising this film we have Surrender To The Void.

On the other side that is trashing it, we have Can't Stop The Movies.

Click on each sites name to read the review and then vote in our weekly poll on the right hand side. The Poll will close by 11 PM Eastern on 05/22/2013. Have a great day.

The Vern Reviews the Documentary The Invisible War:

2013-05-08T04:56:00.001-05:00

The Invisible War.

Writers: Amy Ziering,Kirby Dick

Director: Kirby Dick.

** and a 1/2 *'s out of four.

I love documentaries that bring to light certain topics that are usually ignored by the general media. Movies like this can help evoke change because it gets people talking and the subject presented here is one that needs to be addressed. The main point of "The Invisible War" wasn't that these woman were raped while serving in the U.S. Army. It was that their stories were completely ignored by the superior officers and in some cases even higher. The sexual torment these women went through is devastating enough and then to hear their foes got promoted while they were denied health insurance. It's enough to make you sick. I urge you all right now to contact your congressmen and demand change in our Military and Army branches because this type of shit needs to stop.

NotInvisible.Org

As much as I appreciated the filmmakers for making this movie and making me aware of the betrayal of our sisters and mothers. I wanted there to be more investigations into this atrocity. I wasn't expecting any answers, but it would have been nice to find out the names to some of the foes who were the accused. Now maybe it has something to do with legal issues and that's why their names could not be exposed. But this documentary is from Kirby Dick who once found out the names and phone numbers of secret members of the MPAA("This Film is Not Yet Rated"). You're telling me that giving out the names of potential rapists is more taboo the film censors. It would have been fine if he never actually got names. I just never saw him try. He hired detectives before, and now he can't give out names you could have found easily in a phone book. It sort of pains me to say this, but I wish Michael Moore was a collaborator in this. He would have at least gone to the front offices of where these women served and demand the names of the perps who did this.

Maybe I was just looking for some sort of justice and that wasn't the intent of the film. Kirby Dick, I'm sure wanted his viewers to go out and seek change themselves. It's a good statement and I would be willing to try my best. If I saw that he was doing the same thing, and I didn't see that. This is still a good documentary to see, and I hope it will inspire someone to seek out these criminals and dispatch their own form of revenge. Just to be absolutely clear while we are on the subject. I do not condone any violence against others. Murder is illegal, and you will go to prison. Yet if one of you were willing to go to jail for hurting these rapists. My response would be like the one I heard from Chris Rock during one of his stand up specials. I understand.

The Vern's 2013 Summer Movie Vacation Special.

2013-05-03T10:19:00.003-05:00

Hello Hello everyone.

Today marks the start of summer because the blockbuster season rolls into theatres everywhere this weekend. Hell in even places where there is no sun or people can't afford the luxury of electricity. There is the start of the summer blockbuster season. Although this year there are not as many titles I am excited to see as I was other years. I thought I would still share with you the ones I want to see the most. Now I left a lot off this list because these are the ones I want to see in theatres. There are many that I want to watch but I can check those out at home. The rest are ones I will gladly spend money on.

Pacific Rim. 07/12

Giant Monsters Vs Giant Mecha Robots. How could I not want to see this. Guillermo del Toro has basically made a live action "Robotech aka Macross" movie and has infused Godzilla into it's mix. Am I over hyping it? Yeah maybe just a tad, but I don't care because the trailers and ads I have seen make this look epic. I hope this does well because I already want a sequel.

Iron Man 3 .05/03

This is the start of the new set of films featuring a different Marvel character that will eventually end with "The Avengers 2". Shane Black takes over the director's chair from Jon Favreau , and I'm glad to see him and Robert Downy Jr reunite. The last time these two worked together they brought us the brilliant action comedy "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". I usually hate movies when they go past a certain number because many of them tend to repeat themselves. However with this franchise I want to see more and I hope some day that they will tie in all of the Marvel characters together and make an "Infinity Gauntlet" movie.

Much Ado About Nothing. 06/07

After the success of "The Avengers" and "Cabin in The Woods" Joss Whedon could have easily done any movie he wanted. I'm sure studios everywhere were giving him a whole slew of properties where he would have made just as much money if not more. But instead he decides to make a small independent movie on a very small budget. Based on the play by William Shakespeare, and filmed in Black and White. This doesn't appear to match the other pieces of work that Whedon has done. Yet the way the characters speak to each other in that "Shakespeare Style" kind of does. It would be great to see the trailer of this get played before the many superhero movies this summer because of Whedon's connection with the Marvel franchise. However since it is a small movie I doubt major theatre chains would. Besides most general audiences don't give a crap at what other projects filmmakers do. Yet it would be nice if it did help spark the interest of one person to seek out other works from directors.

The Wolverine. 07/26

If this movie is even just 15 percent better than "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" I will be happy. The story of this one is taken right from the comics and I like that. Oh sure there will have to be some changes in order to adapt it to the big screen but from what I have seen so far this looks to be pretty exciting. The director is James Mangold who has made the western "3 10 to Yuma" and one of my favorites "Girl Interrupted". It would be great to see what he would do with this property.

The Bling Ring. 06/14

I have been a fan of Sofia Coppola's directing ever since "The Virgin Suicides" and I have been following her career ever since than. Her latest movie, I'm hoping is one that will give her more notice amongst the general public. The story of teenagers who break into celebrity homes looks very different from the other ones she has done, and yet I can still expect the great use of dry humor and wonderful visuals. Emma Watson stars in this feature and I'm glad of all the "Harry Potter" kids she is the one to have a good career.

Only God Forgives. 05/24

The star and director of one of my favorite flicks from 2011 "Drive" reunites again and I couldn't be any happier . "Only God Forgives" seems to have the same look as Nicolas Winding Refn's earlier movie "Bronson" and Ryan Gosling looks just as hardcore as Tom Hardy was in that movie. Kristen Scott Thomas looks really sexy and very menacing too I can not wait.

Before Midnight. 05/24

This is the latest sequel in the series of movies by director Richard Linklatter and stars Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. If you haven't seen the other movies in this series. I strongly suggest you check them out because they are hands down one of the best movies about romance that I have ever seen. Instead of having characters fall in love for no damn reason what so ever. The couple in this one slowly begin to understand each other and than begin falling in love. I know many of you out there will find this dull, but a lot of you will hopefully find this to be refreshing. In order, the movies go "Before Sunrise", "Before Sunset, "Before Midnight".

Kick Ass 2. 08/16

From reading the comic that this was based on. I'm surprised that this didn't get a higher rating than an R. If they pull this off right Christopher Mintz-Plasse could be able to shed his whole "McLovn" persona because this character he plays does some pretty horrendous things. Chloe Grace Moretz in my opinion looks to be a bit too old to be playing the role of Hit Girl and yet there is no one else that can. So it has to be her. The stand out performance by fair has got to be Jim Carrey. I haven't been this excited about a movie starring Mr. Carrey since "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and this role seems to echo his more earlier wacky ones like "The Mask", but with a much darker edge.

What summer movie are you looking forward to the most this year? Leave comments and suggestions below.

The Most Popular Casino Games Shown In Movies

2013-05-03T00:08:00.000-05:00

Throughout the history of the cinema, casinos have been a great inspiration for many movie makers. Naturally the ways in which modern casinos are depicted, along with the modern ways in which the old casino are depicted, are very different today than they were depicted in the old silent movies and early talkies. This isn’t just a quirk of modern filmmakers' fashion as casinos have changed dramatically as has the image that most people have of them. Once seen as a preserve for the richer and more aristocratic members of society, today casinos are far more cosmopolitan, and it is that which comes out in modern movies. Just as the perceived ethos of casinos has changed, so have the games that are played in them.
Early movies tended to feature games such as chemin de fer (a form of baccarat played by high rollers) and roulette, always a great cinematographic backdrop which oozed both glamour and excitement. However, although roulette still features strongly in casino movies, chemin de fer has been largely replaced by more popular games such as TEXAS Hold’em Poker. For instance, while in Ian Flemings’ original novel Casino Royale and in the first "Casino Royale"movie the game that James Bone played against Le Chiffre the SMERSH paymaster was baccarat, in the latest remake the game was replaced by one of TEXAS Hold’em Poker.

Poker in its various forms features in many movies and sometimes it is depicted as dark and threatening, while in others it is treated as glamorous and exciting. Some movies, for instance "Rounders", have achieved cult status amongst the poker playing fraternity. Card counting has featured in many movies including "21", the true story of card counters from MIT to "RainMan", starring Dustin Hoffman as an “idiot savant” with a photographic memory with a penchant for counting cards. Naturally in these movies the featured game is blackjack. However, even though it is rarely central to the plot, the most ubiquitous movie casino game of all is slots; the game is shown in just about every movie in the genre.

To try some of the games yourself find the best Australian mobile casino games at MobileCasinoAustralia.com.au. Here you can find a wide variety of traditional casino games.

Naomi Watts comes from a land Down Under, but we are glad she lives here.

2013-04-27T11:25:00.000-05:00

It's been quite a few months since I last posted one of these articles, but I had problems trying to find an actress that would fit good here. I can't just put any girl on here just because I think she looks hot. Every single woman who has been on this list so far have been very talented within their field, and they just happen to be very beautiful. I thought for this entry I would give praise to an actress who fits these criteria and then some. That's right, I bring you the work of Naomi Watts.

The Films.

Tank Girl. 1995

This was the movie I first remembered seeing Miss Watts in, but I completely forgot that she was even in this until may years later. In this Comic book Fantasy she plays the role of Jet Girl who is the sidekick to Lori Petty's Tank Girl. As you can see from the above pic it's not very easy to remember who she was. Luckily she went back to being blond.

Mulholland Dr. 2001

This is one twisted mystery, but from the mind of David Lynch. Who would want anything more, right. Naomi plays the roll of Betty, a girl from Kansas who comes out to LA for an audition. She ends up meeting a lady with amnesia(Laura Harring) and the two sleuths ("Did you say two youths"?. "No, Fred Gwynne from "My Cousin Vinny". I said Sleuths") go out to investigate. Things get really strange after that, but it is such a well crafted movie that to call it just a weird would be an insult Miss Watts should have been nominated as Best Actress for her role. She is amazing, and no I'm not talking just about the scenes where she gets naked.

The Ring. 2002

The buzz for "Mulholland Drive" gave this Australian Beauty her first mainstream role in a big blockbuster. Adapted from the Japanese film "Ringu". "The Ring" was North America's first attempt to bring the J-Horror phenomenon to an English speaking audience, and they loved it. This was one of the top grossing horror movies of 2002 and it spawned a sequel which I will not bother to talk about because it is complete crap. In "The Ring" Miss Watts not only proved that she could be the lead actress in a blockbuster, but also proved that she has the talent to be a box office draw as well.

21 Grams. 2003

After the success of "The Ring" Naomi could have easily gone the route that many actresses take and just appear in one big blockbuster after another. I'm very glad she chose the latter because if she did go the other route we wouldn't get this really great performance of a mother who has lost her entire family to a hit and run accident. It's non linear plot my frustrate a few of you, but stay with it because it has a really good pay off at the end.

We Don't Live Here Anymore. 2004

This was a drama I don't remember even being in theatres, and if someone had not giving me their copy. I would have forgotten about it completely. Miss Watts plays a married woman who is having an affair with Mark Ruffalo's character. The entire cast including Laura Dern and Peter Krause are good, really good. It's just the story and directing are weak enough for me not to actively seek this one out, but if it was on TV again. I would stop and watch it.

I Heart Huckabees. 2004

It's been said before that comedy is way more difficult to perform then drama . This very much explains way we haven't seen Miss Watts perform in them much. This is actually kind of sad because she is very charismatic and funny when she wants to be. In David O Russel's absurdity comedy. She plays the spokes model of a department store chain who begins to doubt her own work when she meets two existential detectives played by Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin. This is a movie that you are either going to love or will completely hate. There is no middle ground here. I am on the love it side,but I can understand why some of you would not be in to this movie. It just proves they have no soul, that's all. Just teasing.

Elle Parker. 2004

Based on a short movie, Naomi Watts plays a struggling actress who goes on a series of auditions. I loved the energy that she ensures but this is not a good movie as you can tell from the above scene. It's basically an hour and a half of that, and the jokes get worse much much worse. But hey at least she's trying things, right. This really should have stayed as a short feature.

King Kong. 2005

Being highly regarded as an actress with a well known name. Naomi Watts hasn't appeared in too many mainstream features. The other one she was in was Peter Jackson's retelling of the classic feature "King Kong". In this Miss Watts basically plays the damsel who are ape friend ends up getting the hots over. This is a long movie that feels like one. I hope they release a cut that is shorter because only then would I watch this again

Eastern Promises. 2007

In this drama from director David Cronenberg. Naomi plays a nurse who discovers a diary from a 14 year old girl who dies in childbirth. Her investigations lead her to the Russian mob and their driver/cleaner played by Viggo Mortensen. Viggo's character must decide wither to remain loyal to his crime family or to help this nurse with her investigation. This is one that a lot of people loved, but for me it ends up to be kind of dull. There is nothing wrong with either the directing or acting. I just could not get into the story as much as I wanted too.

Funny Games. 2007

I know this may sound somewhat controversial to a few of you purists out there. But I liked this remake more then the original. Not to dis on Michael Haneke's 1997 feature about a family who are forced to participate in a series of sick activities by two sociopaths. I just found the characters to be a bit more interesting here then in the earlier version. What I love best about this movie is that all of the violent acts are done off screen. We become participants in watching this family suffer because we want to see the violence inflicted on them. This could also be a statement about our love of watching violent entertainment which is why many people were angered by it. Well that and it's ending .

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. 2010

Having worked with a bunch of great directors before, It seems only obvious that she would work with Woody Allen. It's too bad that her debut with him wasn't anything that special. In this comedy she is married to Josh Brolin but soon becomes infatuated with Antonio Banderas while her husband becomes smitten(do people use that word anymore) with Frida Pinto. I don't recall much more about the movie then just the basic plot line because it's resolution wasn't anything worth praising. The entire cast is fine, but no one here really shines.

The Impossible. 2012

WOW. I am so angry that I did not see this when it came out, because it would have easily been in my top five list of favorite films of 2012. This is an amazing story based a real life family who become separated after a Tsunami destroys their resort while they are vacationing in Thailand. This was one of the most intense disaster movies ever made, and if Jennifer Lawrence wasn't nominated for "Silver Linings Playbook". My pick would have gone to Miss Watts because she was great in this role.

The Photos.

A Triple Dash of Podcasts.

2013-04-24T04:33:00.001-05:00

Whoa Nelly, I've been hella hella busy this last week. I was not on one, but three yes three different podcasts this week. It was a lot of fun, but man am I tired. I still have more posts to put on this site as well as The Vern's Video Vortex, and The Lamb I still have to write up a post for Impassioned Cinema and another site called MV Remix wants me to write up bands. Those other posts will be late because I work two jobs and damn it I'm going to be tired. Keep a look out on this site because I plan on posting a tribute to a great actress who has proven without a shadow of a doubt that blondes are not dumb. I'm talking about Best Actress nominee Naomi Watts.

So here is the lowdown on the shows I have appeared on.

LAMBcast 163: LAMPARDY.

Yes I decided to test my movie knowledge against Kristen of Journeys in Classic Films, and Nick of Cinematic Katzenjammer. Did I do good? Well You'll haft to listen to the show to find out. I was a bit tired so my energy was not so high but I had fun and I hope you do too.

As You Watch: Episode 30.2: Zodiac

This week Joe of 2 Dude Review, Nick, and Myself talked in length about "Zodiac" and our top three favorite serial killer movies. I test out a brand new theme song that may be our new intro, but I'm waiting to see what others think of it before I add it. Take a listen and let me know what you think.

Lair of The Unwanted: #56: Drill Baby Drill.

Jason Soto and Nolahn of Your Face were nice enough to bring me on the show to talk about the 90's straight to video horror movie that is "The Dentist" starring Corbin Bersen(If I fucked up the spelling I apologize) The best part of the show is the fake trailer we all did for the latest in the "Step Up" Franchise. Have a listen and let me know what you think.

Allright folks I'm off to work and won't be back on this site until the weekend , but I urge you to please check out The Vern's Video Vortex for more posts. Have a good day.

Oh and just to let you fine and wonderful folks know. There is still time to vote yours truly as the Funniest Writer and As You Watch as Best Podcast at the 2013 Lammy's. Just click the link below to begin voting. I appreciate it very very much.

Final Poll: Lammys 2013. 04/17 -04/30

Kids and Scary Movies: What is the right age?

2013-04-22T13:55:00.000-05:00

On the Beetlejuice episode of The As You Watch podcast(Episode will post Friday Morning) Joe, Nick and I got into a conversation about scary movies for kids and what we think is appropriate for that age level. There were some disagreements about my picks which included "The Others","Gremlins" and "Poltergeist". I would also include "Night of the Living Dead"(original version) "Jaws" "Watcher in The Woods" and "Lady in White". Yes these movies are scary, but they don't feature excessive violence or gore, the language for the most part is tame and there is hardly any sexual content. Each of the titles I have listed are rated PG-13 or lower despite what IMDB has on their site. In fact I am starting to doubt their integrity as being movie experts. But I will get into my gripe with them later because right now I want to have an open discussion with you about kids watching horror movies.

This genre remains to this day a very popular one because of the thrill and excitement it brings it's audience. It's like being on a brand new roller coaster for the first time. Traveling up that steep hill, you have no idea of what to expect(kind of like a movie building suspense). When the car finally reaches the top and then drops you get a series of chills, scares and a slight case of nausea based on the ride itself. Same thing can be said about scary movies or basically any genre that has a high level of tension and excitement. We become nervous for Marty McFly to get to that DeLorean on time so he can go "Back To The Future". We hope Han Solo can turn off the shield generator so that the rebels can destroy the Death Star in "Return of The Jedi". Having tension and suspense is a basic part of story telling. Should we remove these elements because they may make a kids nervous. Same thing goes for watching a scary movie. Should we be worried that a kid is going to develop psychological problems when things pop out at them. If so why are we torturing them with that sadistic game called Peak-a-Boo. We are teaching kids at a very young age that being afraid is an OK thing. I will repeat myself in case you may have missed that last statement. Being scared is an OK thing. Now I don't want children to be scared of every little thing they encounter, but I do want them to be a bit more cautious and not give them the false notion that they are invincible like many parents are doing now. Horror movies makes us aware that a dark alley around 3 in the morning is not the best place to be at alone. It also makes us not trust that one guy in a clown outfit who drives a van without any windows. He says he has a whole bunch of candy, comic books, and a new videogame system back at his house. If I was not aware of horror movies I would go because I love candy and I would have time to kill before my second job starts. I agree that we should make some things safe for kids, like helmets and knee pads. Stuff that will protect their bodies but shielding them against certain emotions will only cause more damage then good. Being afraid at times is just the same as being happy or being sad. It is a natural emotional response. It would be great if we could protect children from all of the dangers in the world and not let them see any of it. But wouldn't it also be better if they were more prepared for it. Showing them something as graphic as "Hostel" is a bit much, but movies like "ParaNorman"and "Coraline" are great gateway movies to a fun and exciting genre.

I have a few questions for you.

1. Is it appropriate to show scary movies to kids?

2. If so what is the ideal age and what do you think would be a good title to start them off with.

Leave me some suggestions in the comments section. Thank you for reading.

The Vern Reviews To The Wonder or looks at some of Terrence Malick's Home Videos.

2013-04-19T04:57:00.003-05:00

To The Wonder

Cast: Ben Affleck, Olga Kurylenko

Writer and Director: Terrence Mallick.

* and a 1/2 of of four.

This latest feature from director Terrence Malick is a visual wonder. That man knows how to make a movie and with each shot looking as beautiful as the next without any big special effects is quite the achievement. Seeing this on the big screen was a pretty sweet deal because I knew I would be getting a really good looking movie. I don't like calling it that because it has doesn't have any characters or a story. But for the purpose of this review. I will call it that. There are no computer generated landscapes or characters in this. Just the normal everyday beauty that appears daily, but we never see it. Yet despite it's great look. This is a really boring film and if you are not impressed with the visuals as I am. You are going to hate this. I've read a few reviews that do explain a lot of the theories surrounding this, and they are all correct. Whom am I to judge if someones opinion on this artwork is correct or not. It's like looking at a beautiful painting. Each person who views it is going to have his or her own perception based on what they saw and the same thing applies to this movie. Mr. Malick is in no way is asking for any easy answers.Instead he wants us to do the work and come up with our own insightful questions. The only question I had throughout this entire movie was "What is this whole thing about?". If you are curious to read my interpretation of this movie. I invite you to read a quick interview I had with my brain while I watched this movie.

Start of interview

Me: Alright, let's get ready to watch this movie.

Brain: I don't know why you even bother with these things. You didn't understand "The Tree of Life". What makes you think you will understand this one?

Me: I think that one was about a man trying to figure out what way his life is going to go. Is he going to be more like his mother or his father.

Brain: You got that from the damn trailer. There was no way you could tell what that movie was really about,and you know it.

Me: That may be true, but we are here to look at "To the Wonder" with a fresh pair of eyes. After all this was the last movie Roger Ebert reviewed before he passed away, and I think it was the perfect feature to say goodbye with.

Brain: Stop thinking, You'll only end up hurting yourself. That's my job. I really hope you're not comparing yourself to Mr. Ebert.

Me: Oh no, not at all. I was just expressing a fact. That's all.

Brain: That better be it.

Me: Shhh , it's starting.

Brain: Hey wait a minute. Why is this being shot on home video? I thought this was suppose to have amazing visuals.

Me: Just give it a second, It's only just started.

Brain: Oh man, it's a foreign movie. Don't tell me I'm going to have to read this entire fucking thing.

Me: I don't think it's going to be that way for the entire feature, and besides you've watched foreign movies before and never had issues with them.

Brain: I was only waiting for the naked chicks to show up. They usually show up in these types of movies.

Me: I don't think we will see any nudity in this.

Brain: Oh it's coming. Just you wait.

Me:. Wow, the shots comprised here are really amazing.

Brain:. What the hell is going on? I just see Ben Affleck and that one Bond chick from "Seven Psychopaths" walk around with their daughter while she narrates stuff that I don't even understand.

Me: Maybe she is looking back at the relationship she had and is remembering all the good times.

Brain: You're not going to give me the credit for that one, because it's obvious you pulled that one form out your ass. Wait, why don't they all speak the same language. I can see that both the chick and her daughter speak Spanish, but Ben clearly does not. He's barely speaking English.

Me: At least he understands what they are saying.

Brain: What? He only says a few words to his daughter, but won't speak them in her native language. What a douche bag. Wait, wait wait. There it is, Bond girl's tits. Yes! I knew these french films would be good for something.

Me: You barely see anything and her name is Olga Kurylenko.

Brain: DO NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME. You little shit. I'll give you the fucking "Jaws" dream again.

Me: Dude, chill. It's all right. There you can see part of her ass too. Now do you feel better.

Brain: Yeah. My god these people walk around a lot. Where are they going?

Me: This looks to be more of a personal journey rather then just a point A to point B quest.

Brain: But they seem to be just walking around in circles. I understood the conflict in "The Tree of Life" even though it was a vague but this. This doesn't make any sense.

Me: Well maybe it's suppose to help you reflect on your own life and get you to think about your past relationships.

Brain: Hmm, maybe. What, hold on, wait a minute. Where the hell did Bond Girl go? Now who is this chick?

Me: That's Rachel McAdams. She was in "Mean Girls" and "Midnight in Paris".

Brain: Well I don't know why she is in this movie, but I bet we get to see her naked.

Me: It doesn't look like there will be another nude scene. Ben's character doesn't look like the type that would cheat on his wife.

Brain: It's Ben Freaking Affleck. One of the most powerful people in Hollywood. Dude must have bitches lined up around the block.

Me: He's married in real life you know.

Brain Pfffftttt. I tell you what man, if I could score off some of that pussy magnet power that he has. I would fuck him.

Me: What?

Brain: I'm not gay or anything, but shit if I could have the type of power that he has. I'll risk being sore for a week. Plus chicks like gay dudes. They tend to get naked in front of them all the time.

Me: Umm..Let's get back to the movie. Oh look it's Javier Bardem.

Brain: For the past hour, I've seen nothing but people walking around while they talk to themselves. We could have gone down the block and watch just watch the homeless people instead.

Me: His character seems to focus on the loss of faith. He keeps asking where is god,like he lost him.

Brain: Well if you wanted to loose someone. This would be a good place to do it.

Me: This is a very complex film that I may need to watch again to fully understand it.

Brain: You go ahead and enjoy your complexities. I'm going to go away for the next few moments and watch porn.

End of interview.

It is damn near impossible to leave a Terrence Malick feature without having it effect how you view the world. The man just has a natural gift to film the most mundane things and make it the most extraordinary thing you ever experienced. The stuff we take for granted somehow become the most extraordinary things ever witnessed It's almost like if someone gave God or any other religious entity a video camera and just her shoot random footage. All right maybe that whole construct is stretching things just a tad. I don't want to praise this film too much. I will close by saying that if Terrence wasn't making feature length movies he would have a great career making videos for weddings or birthday parites. Can you imagine how cool your dull vacation would be if it was directed by Terrence Malick. I would watch that video even if it wasn't my own.

The Vern is nominated for a 2013 Lammy.

2013-04-16T12:19:00.005-05:00

Holy Hannah Montana Matzo Ball Soup. I've been nominated for a Lammy award this year. This is far beyond anything I could have hoped for and I am extremely honored to be grouped in with some very creative and funny writers. A big thank you to anyone and everyone who has nominated me for these spots. I love you very much.

Now since The Lamb does not have a "Sexiest Film Reviewer" category just yet. I will have to just settle with the "Funniest Writer" one for now. I still think the whole funny thing is just a typo because all the nominees in that category are very sexy. Infact, I'm just going to go ahead right now and change funniest writer to sexiest film reviewer. The nominees for sexiest film reviewer and not funniest writer are.

Dan Fogarty of Fogs Movie Reviews.

Lady Sati of Cinematic Corner

Dylan Fields of Man I Love Films

Myself of The Vern's Videovangaurd

and

John LaRue of The Droid Your Looking For.

One would think being nominated for sexiest film reviewer would be good enough but no. It turns out The Lamb is also nominating your truly and the As You Watch Podcast in the "Best Erotic Voice" category as well. Now on the actual page with the other nominees it's called "Best Podcast", but we all know what is really meant by those words. It makes sense to change it because I wouldn't want a lot of angry letters from husbands telling me that their wives spend more time listening to my show then they do with them. I would also hate getting letters from parents who have caught their 19 year old daughters discovering the joys of masturbation while they listened to my show. Here is the list of other great podca...I mean erotic voices. Just be sure to have a bucket of ice nearby. It's going to get steamy.

The (Title Pending )Movie Podcast with Tank and Fogs

French Toast Sunday

The MILFcast

As You Watch

Reel Insight

Now while the other categories are not as sexy as the ones posted here. They are still worth checking out, mainly because it's always good to take a break so you can learn to better pace yourself. Cheers.

2013 Lammy Nominations Full List

The Vern vs. The MTV Movie Awards.

2013-04-15T09:17:00.000-05:00

Last night I could have spent time reading a book or looking for a better job. I could have seen a new movie in theatres or re watched an old favorite at home. But instead I decided to watch the MTV Movie Awards. Now I don't usually like it when the general public picks the winners for movies because they usually chose just whatever is hot at the moment. But then again one could say the same thing for the more prestige award shows too. This is the first time in a really long long long while that I even watched MTV for longer then two minutes. Not counting the one time I passed out and had to endure reruns of The Hills on mute and was waiting for Robin Leech to come out and bitch slap the entire cast(Older people will get that last reference I hope). I wasn't really expecting too much from this show, and so I will tell you what worked and what should have been burned.

The host this year was Rebel Wilson whom you may remember from such comedies "Bridesmaides" and "Pitch Perfect". She doesn't have quite the charisma to host a live television event just yet, but she shows some promise. The only thing she failed at completely were all the pointless skits she appeared in. I don't blame that on her. I blame the writers on that one. The first award was for Best Male performance and I was glad to see Bradley Cooper from "Silver Linings Playbook" win that one. It was one of those smaller movies that not a lot of people saw and I'm glad he got some recognition. They gave out an award to Samuel Jackson and Jamie Foxx for Best WTF moment( "Django Unchained" ) and "The Avengers" won the award for Best Fight. These were all good movies and I found no fault with them winning awards. It was even cool to see Emma Watson and Jamie Foxx both win awards that highlight the career. For a movie award show that was aimed at teens I was surprised that there was no mention of "Twilight:Breaking Dawn. Part 2". Was this because it was nominated and won a few Razzie awards. I'm not sure. The rest of the winners all seemed legitimate with Jennifer Lawrence winning her third or fourth major televised award for Best Actress. Mark Wahlberg and Seth McFarland winning for best Duo on screen("Ted") made sense because they were the only ones next to Miss Lawrence and Mr. Cooper who appeared on screen together longer then the other nominees. The Silver Linings duo did snatch up an award for Best Kiss, and I was glad to see that one win because it was one that made sense in the context of that plot. Now while it was great to see all these deserved wins. There were some aspects where the show falters.

Skits involving Danny Mcbride and Seth Rogen taking off their pants to show off gags involving their genitalia was anything but and they used that same stint before on other award shows. Ezra Miller being nominated for Best Breakthrough performance for "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" made me laugh because his first role in a movie was "City Island" and he got big praise from "We Need to Talk About Kevin" last year. It would be like giving one to Michael Shannon for "Man of Steel" even though he has been in many other flicks over the past few years. The presenters having to tell really bad scripted jokes before they presented an award was also very painful In fact most celebrities on this show seems either amused or somewhat uncomfortable. Take a good look at the presenters or the winners on here. They all have this look that says.

"Yes. I am glad you paid to see my movie and I'm extremely happy you love me so much,but I really don't want to be here."

That is why you did not see Robert Downey Jr. and Jennifer Lawrence announce the trailer for their upcoming films at this award show. I never once heard of an actor go on to better roles because they won Best Scared as S**t performance. Also when a celebrity is on stage to accept an award or present one. the audience somehow has to scream really loud every time they end a thought. Award shows like this and the ones done on other stations such as Spike TV are just ways for studios to sell their movies to a more younger demographic and that's fine. I have no real issue with that. I just feel that they are telling our youth("Yutes? Did you say yutes?". Another older reference, sorry) what to think is cool, but like I said before that could also be said about other award shows too. Producers get to pimp their actors and upcoming projects and to have the audience vote on the winners gives them all a win because it's almost free advertising.

With this movie award season done. I was more impressed at who won rather then the award show it self. What do you think of award shows? Do they help influence you into what to see or does the movie do that itself.

The Vern Vs. The Evil Dead Trilogy.

2013-04-07T01:00:00.000-05:00

Pay attention you primitive screw heads.

I'm going to state right here and now that "The Evil Dead" trilogy is right up there with my favorite threesomes of all time. Yes I would include it on the same list as "Back to the Future" "Star Wars"( you should know which ones I'm referring to) "The Before Saga"(Sunrise, Sunset, and upcoming Midnight),"Lord of the Rings", "Die Hard" and "Indiana Jones"(last time I checked both of those had only three). The adventures of Ash played brilliantly by Bruce Campbell is a new kind of hero. Yes he does do the right things, but usually he does them in order to save his own ass. If something is not constantly attacking him, he is a self arrogant jerk. But would we want him any other way, no. That is why when bad things happen to him, we can laugh because he's been kind of a jerk throughout.

On Friday April 5th we got a new version of "The Evil Dead" to very positive reviews. As much as I wanted to see this new version. I thought it would be best to look back on this franchise and take a good look at each movie. Now I urge you to please listen to the commentary tracks on each DVD/BlueRay because they will go into way more depth and detail then I will with this article. This is more or less just a fluff piece, but I hope you enjoy it.

Note*** Each movie reviewed may be heavily spoiled. So if you have never viewed these movies before, be warned.

The Evil Dead.

Five college students head off to a cabin in the remote wilderness for reasons I'm not quite sure. When they get there one of the girls starts to hear voices and draws a weird book. It's about that time when a door on the floor springs open and wouldn't you know it someone decides to investigate. What he finds is a new entry in Oprah's book of the month club. The Necronomicon or Book of the Dead was bound in human flesh and written in human blood. Included with the book is a reel to reel machine that translate the strange writings and when it does. People become possessed and others die

This was made with a very small budget and it still manages to be very unnerving, even today. The scene of a girl being sexually assaulted by a tree still freaks me out. Although I do wonder if she had lived would she be able to pick out the tree that raped her in a line up. I hate to sound prejudice, but all trees do look kind of alike. Especially at night. It may be just me as well, but it was kind of annoying the fact that Ash had issues with killing his girlfriend. Even though she twice tried to attack him. Speaking of Ash he is very different in this movie. He's not the confident somewhat vain character that is prominent in the other two sequels. Instead he's really weak and almost cowardly. Yes I know he's cowardly in the other movies, but for some reason he's even more cowardly. Still the practical effects are very effective and it still manages to bring on some good scares and some laughs too. It's a highly original horror film whose story has been told time and time again.

Evil Dead II.

At the end of the first movie everyone dies. Yes even the sole survivor Ash dies. So why do we see him appear and why is he going back to the same cabin with a new girlfriend. I have some theories about this. In "The Evil Dead" that character was called Ashley. So in this one I believe that Ash is just his twin brother or cousin, but it's not the same guy. You could also connect the two because when the force comes after him at the end of the first movie. It could just cut to the scene where he first gets possessed in the second movie. Get rid of the whole new girlfriend angle and just reference back to his first love instead. Now that I got that out of the way let me tell you about this tale. Right when Ash and his new love get to the cabin, the evil starts up again and they kill her. Now trying to stop a horde of deadites is bad enough, but when you add in the daughter of the man who first found the book of the dead and a redneck couple who helped bring her and her boyfriend to the cabin. More problems begin to arise.

This sequel is more heavy on the humor then the previous one, and it becomes more of a super hero origin story then a horror one. Bruce Campbell owns the role of Ash here, and his delivery of one liners and visual sight gags is amazing. If Buster Keaton were somehow able to be in a slasher flick. It would be this one. The moment when his hand becomes possessed is just classic and it features one of the movie's funniest moments. The other one is when all the inanimate objects begin laughing and then Ash joins in on the fun. The look of it is much more pristine then first one, and the pacing works much better too. "Evil Dead II" is usually the first movie I show people in this saga. Followed by "Army of Darkness" and then I show them the first one. It's the only horror sequel that is even better then the original,and I have high respect for that one too.

Army of Darkness.

Plans to do a third "Evil Dead" were set after the success of number two. Well that and it does end with the portal opening and Ash going back in time. Would be kind of silly just to end it there. In this third telling of Ash's battle against the deadites. We find our hero being sent back in time to a medieval like kingdom. At first he is mistaken for being part of a rival gang. But soon becomes a hero when they discover he can fight the evil with his boom stick("Shot smart, shop S Mart"). The elders have a plan that will help get Ash back to his own time, and help save their kingdom as well. All he has to do is retrieve the dreaded Book of the Dead from a pillar and bring it back. But before he can pick it up he must recite three words. Sounds simple, right. Well it would be if he has seen "The Day the Earth Stood Still"(original of course)

"Army of Darkness" was mine and I'm sure many others very first introduction to this franchise. I remember seeing the box art for the other two movies when I was younger and thought they were way too scary for me. The box art for a lot of horror movies were a lot more scarier then the actual product. Yet this one really stood out because it had a guy with a chainsaw for a hand. How could I not go see something like that. All of the great one liners you constantly quote to your friends are in this one, and it does have even more sight gags then the previous two. Who could forget the awesome moment inside the windmill where a bunch of tiny Ash's are attacking our hero. Let's also give praise to the stop motion animation and the cool makeup effects too. This was a huge blockbuster for Sam Raimi and it helped bring in one good movie after the next. Even though he would not make another horror film until 2009's "Drag me to Hell". He already achieved legendary status of making this movie. It's been stated that both Bruce and Sam prefer the original ending which had Ash drinking too much of the potion only to wake up in a distopian future more then the theatrical one. But I prefer the second one more because it ends on a high note with having him back at S Mart. Yet when you look at it in the context of the trilogy. The original ending does work much better.

So to close up shop and put my tools away. I will say that if this new movie is your introduction to this franchise. That is great and I thank you for going out and supporting some great horror flicks. Now if you enjoyed that. Please check out what helped inspired it.

Spring Breakers,Stoker,and Podcasts. Oh Yeah!

2013-03-25T12:28:00.003-05:00

Hello all .

In the last few weeks there were a lot of movies that got released and although I have reviewed them on other sites. I have not had the chance to share them with you here. There were also two great episodes of the podcast I help co host that you may have missed as well. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a good week.

Stoker. Movie Review Cinematic Katzenjammer

Spring Breakers Movie Review: . Cinematic Katzenjammer

Sam Raimi The Great and Powerful: Cinematic Katzenjammer

Trailer Trashing with The Vern: The Large Association of Movie Blogs

Episode XXVI: Superbad. As You Watch Podcast

Episode XXVII: Pan's Labyrinth. As You Watch Podcast

What movies would you like to hear be discussed on the show. Please leave suggestions in the comments below. Thank you very much.

Please Consider Me For The 2013 Lammy Nominations.

2013-03-21T16:12:00.001-05:00

Hello. How are you doing tonight? Have I mentioned just how sexy you look right now? I haven't and I can tell by the baseball bat at your side that I really shouldn't . Ummm, I'm just stopping by to praise each and everyone of you for visiting the site and for leaving comments. While I'm not posting on this site as often as before. Last year I posted a whole slew of reviews and articles and would love your consideration for the Lammy nominations over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs. The Categories I'm in consideration for is Funniest Writer(The Vern's Videovangaurd #1222) Best Running Feature(When Movies Attack:Impassioned Cinema #940) and Best Podcast (As You Watch). There are a whole slew of other great blogs that are up for consideration and I urge you to click on the link below to read more about who else is being submitted.

Lammy 2013: Full Eligibility List

To vote for me, and I hope you do because I will love you very very much. Click on the link below to read the rules before submitting your picks. Yes, I know that it's a pain to read more paperwork, but I would hate for you to go through all the trouble of nominating me, and not have it be counted. There are thousands upon thousands of other bloggers looking to get a nomination this year, and I strongly believe my works from last year are worth a nomination. Thank you very much for visiting. I will be back later next week with some more posts. Don't forget to visit my other site The Vern's Video Vortex for great classic reviews. Thanks again.

Lammy 2013: Nomination Voting

Bates Motel: Quick Pilot Episode Review.

2013-03-19T00:40:00.002-05:00

So tonight marked the world premiere of the new series "The Bates Motel" on A&E. I kept seeing ads for this,and was impressed that Vera Farmiga was cast in the roll as Norman Bate's mother. The trailers gave this really sort of creepy vibe and while I never expected it to be on par with Hitchcock's original. I still wanted it to be a good thriller.

Yes the following review may contain spoilers. You have been warned in case you care.

Norman Bates(Freddie Highmore) discovers his father's dead underneath a shelving unit that may have caused a few bruises, but didn't look that heavy to kill anyone. When he tells his mother about the death, she appears to be very calm about the whole thing.. Cut to a year later when mother and son move into a brand new home, and get the hotel that comes with it. On their first night, they meet up with a man(W. Earl Brown) who yells at them, and says that this is his home and that they shouldn't even be here. The next day while waiting for the bus, Norman meets up with a group of hot girls who decided for no freaking reason to take him in their car to school with them. Seriously ladies,what the fuck are you thinking. You hardly know this guy and your going to put him in your car and have one of your friends straddle him while you ride to school. Yes, a part of me was angry because shit like that never happened to me when I was at school ,and I doubt it happened to any of you either, so I'll quit bitching. The very same night the same girls ask if Norman can come studying with them. Mother of course disapproves , but Norman sneaks out anyways. Only to discover they have taken him to a party instead. Back at the house, Mother(her name is actually Norma,) gets attacked by the same guy who was yelling at them earlier. She is beaten,handcuffed to the table, and begins getting raped when Norman steps in and knocks him out. Norma tells her son to get some supplies to tie him up and while he's gone. She stabs the man dead. Now both mother and son have to work together to hide the body. While they are doing the clean up that the police show up and wouldn't you know. One of them has to use the bathroom where the body was just recently stored in the bathtub. Uh Oh! Whew, well that was a close call. I can't believe they got away with murder on the first episode. I didn't see that one coming. When they do drop the body into the river I was hooping for a quick homage to the first one and just have the body float for a minute before it actually sinks but it doesn't do that.

I really like Vera Farmiga because she brings life into a famous character that's never really had one before, and seeing her origins is really fascinating. Freddie Highmore is good as Norman and has many of the same little mannerisms that Anthony Perkins had when he was being the nice guy. This is suppose to be a prequel to the 1960 original because the house and hotel look like the ones from that feature. However with the use of cell phones, computers and other modern devices. It makes it look like a prequel to the Gus Van Sant Version instead. I will give this one at least two more episodes before I can fully judge it.

Random thoughts of a movie insomniac.

2013-03-16T06:18:00.001-05:00

I suffer from insomnia and some nights I just can't fall asleep. The following post is just going to be my random thoughts about movies I have watched this week as well as other random shit that has been happening for me. There is not going to be anything serious, and there may or may not be some spelling mistakes, and for that I apologize, but don't take it seriously. Alright.

I was fortunate to see both "Oz: The Great and Powerful" and "Stoker" in theatres this week and they were both good. Oz is the prequel to the classic 1939 feature "The Wizard of Oz". I was never a huge fan of that movie but I recognize it's importance in the world of filmaking. With this Sam Raimi has created a family movie that will appeal to all ages. Director Sam Raimi has expanded the world of Oz and has references to the original movie , but yet it still manages to be it's own thing. James Franco surprised me in this role, and I thought he was going to be awful. Yet him, Zach Braff, and Michele Williams all do a really great job. The best character in this entire viewing experience was the character of the china doll(voiced by Joey King. I believe) How she is introduced was one of the most emotional experiences I have seen so far this year, and it brought a tear to my eye. I understand why Disney said in the trailers that this is from the director of "Spider-Man" Trilogy. But this has more in common with Raimi's "Evil Dead" movies then it does with the webcrawler. There is a scene when Oz is walking through the dark forest and the vines are attacking that remind me of the rape tree from the first move. Also there is a moment where a witch appears that looks exactly like the one Ash fights in "Army of Darkness". General audiences won't noticed those little touches but films fans like you and I will.

The other movie I saw and will be posting soon over at The Cinematic Katzenjammer was "Stoker". This was the English language debut from director Chan-wook Park. I shouldn't even have to name his other movies because you should know who he is, but I will highly recommend "Thirst" and "I'm a Cyborg,but That's OK" as other ones to seek out. "Stoker" is a visual treat with great creepy performances from the cast. Sadly, the trailer ends up being better then the movie. I'm not saying it was bad and that you shouldn't waste your money on it. I was just expecting this to be one awesome time, and it was only just good. My opinion about this will change once I watch this again.

Now let's take a quick music break. One of my friends posted this artist called Santigold on her spotify playlists. When I went to look up other songs by this person, I noticed a song I've been hearing at work alot, but could not place who sang it.. I am posting two videos from her because I think she is awesome and one that should be played more.

I don't care if Metric is consider to be a hipster band or not because they are fucking incredible and my god Emily Haines has the sexiest legs in music ever.

The last band I'm posting is the group known as BabyMetal. I could describe who they are, but it's best you just watch.

Yeah that was too awesome for me not to post another video. Your Welcome

On video, I watched "The Public Enemy" with James Cagney and revisited the classic "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".(you can read the full reviews by clicking the titles) An enjoyable gangster thriller that also features sexy screen siren Joan Blondell. I also had a chance to see a little known flick called "Eating Raoul". It's another dark satire from the director of" Death Race 2000", Paul Bartell. He stars in the movie along with Mary Woronov as a couple stuck in the 50's living in an apartment filled with swingers and other perverts. I will be posting a review of it on my Criterion Corner section over at The Vern's Video Vortex.

This brings me to the last portion of this rant and it's a question for you. Why do you enjoy movie blogging? Is it the interaction with other film fans. Are you looking to expand your writings more. Leave me a comment below, and I hope you all have a great weekend.

As You Watch. Ep 25: Blade Runner.

2013-03-12T10:19:00.001-05:00

Yes, Yes, I know it's been a while since I posted anything on this site and for that I apologize, but as I mentioned in my previous post. I am not writing for this site as often as I have before. Movies in theatres are getting more and more expensive, and by the time I see one and write about it. There are already tons of other reviews about it already. I do plan on writing reviews for "Oz: The Great and Powerful" and "Stoker" once I see them this week, but they may be on another site.

This latest episode of The As You Watch Podcast is among one of my favorites. Who am I kidding they are all my favorites, but this show talks about one of my favorite movies,"Blade Runner". Our guest was Colin Flanagan of Movie Flubs and it was great to talk about such an iconic movie.

To listen the show click on the link below
As You Watch Episode XXV: Blade Runner

Want to know why I love this movie as much as I did. Click on the link to read my review on my new site. The Vern's Video Vortex.
All Time Classics: Blade Runner

Death to Videovangaurd. Long live the new flesh.

2013-03-01T09:35:00.000-06:00

Hello my dear and fellow readers.

I wanted to take this quick time to announce to you all that this blog will be ending soon. Well not ending permanently. I just won't be as active as I was before. There will be some articles on it from time to time, but not that much for the most part. Now you may ask yourself if I am abandoning the world of blogging entirely and that is not so. It's just that most of my concentration will now be on my new site, The Vern's Video Vortex.. I have mentioned this before on other posts, but wanted to tell you about it on here. Just in case you happened to stumble upon this one.

The Video Vortex is a classic and cult movie site that looks more at older films then newer ones.I plan to write those reviews for other sites of which I will link to them on here. The Vortex will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to begin, and then I may write more as time goes on. I am extremely happy to announce this new change, and I hope you will join me.

The Vern's Video Vortex A movie site dedicated to classic, cult and other film treasures.

Click above to read the first few reviews and please offer me feedback so I know what I can do to improve. After all I write this just to please you. Thank you again for all of your comments. I really do appreciate all of your support.

The Film Pasture Ep 5 & As You Watch: Ep 23.

2013-02-27T10:00:00.001-06:00

Whoa Nelly. It's been quite the week for yours truly. I am just a few days away from officially launching my new site. The Vern's Video Vortex, and there is also the upcoming Lammy Awards(Large Association of Movie Blogs) for me to promote as well. I really hope to get the funniest writer award or at least the best blogger to share a drink with.

Speaking of drinking, movies and the consumption of liquor were the topic on The Film Pasture this week. Pat of 100 Years of Movies hosts this fun new podcast that highlights a different blogger and a different theme. I was very lucky to be a guest on this show along with Clint from Alcohollywood. To listen to the fun click on the link below.

The Film Pasture Toasts The Movies

Next, over at the As You Watch Podcast. Joe, Nick and I discuss our top 3 favorite or in my case least favorite dads in the movies. This brought out a lot of fun discussions with us and some great picks as well, We next delve into the classic movie "To Kill a Mockingbird" based on the book by Harper Lee and starring Gregory Peck. It's a movie that everyone should see and not just because it's been labeled a classic. It has many important social issues and is a great growing up story too. To listen to this show. Click on the link below.

As You Watch: Episode XXIII

LAMBcast# 154: Academy Award Predictions.

2013-02-22T12:30:00.000-06:00

I had a lot of awesome crazy fun discussing The 85 Academy Award nominations with a fine crop of fellow movie lovers. On this show I and other guests including Nick Jobe of YourFace, My cohost of As You Watch Nick P(also Cinematic Katzenjammer),Shane(aka Squasher88 ) of Film Actually and host Dylan Fields of Man I love Films talk about the major nominees. We all had different picks for who was going to win, and it turned out to be a very fun and entertaining show.

To listen to the good times please click the link below and follow the directions.

LAMBcast #154 Academy Awards Predictions

The Vern's Oscar Predictions Continue.

2013-02-22T04:29:00.000-06:00

With only two days left before the big award show, I thought it would be best for me to list my picks for the categories not many people focus on. The technical ones are usually ignored by most of the general public, because I can't really see anyone talking to a cinematographer about what he or she is wearing. Yet without them the actors and actresses we pine over would not appear as good in the movies we like. These are the craftsmen and women who really fine tune their film making skills and it's great that they are all getting a nomination. Now I am in no way an expert on these sort of things. So my choices are just based on my own mindset. Which has helped me out in some ways and in others it has not. So let's get this started.

Best Cinematography

SkyFall

Anna Karenina

Django Unchained

Life Of Pi

Lincoln

Who will win.
Skyfall

This is a tough one because all of the other nominees are really good, but "Skyfall" is one wicked looking movie. It's the only time I can think that a James Bond movie was praised for it's cinematography

Best Editing

Argo
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Who Will Win
Silver Linings Playbook.

I would not mind if "Argo" took home this award, but I have seen "Silver Linings Playbook" twice and the pacing on it is so well done I forget that over two hours have passed and I'm not checking my watch. After it's over and you look back at the story. It's not overly that impressive but damn is it fun.

Best Production Design

Anna Kareninia
The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Lincoln

Who Will Win
Anna Karenina.

This was extremely well done. It begins on a stage and then the sets move around to create a whole new scene. Characters in that scene open up that set and suddenly we are outside in a lush winter landscape. I wish they would keep up with the whole stage set through out the whole movie, but the little they do use is indeed worthy of an Oscar.

Best Costume Design

Anna Karenina
Les Miserables
Lincoln
Mirror Mirror
Snow White and The Huntsman

Who Will Win
Anna Kareninia.

It's based on a famous book that also happens to be a period drama. Those movies always do well at the Oscars. I can't imagine this one doing badly this year.

Best Makeup

Hitchcock
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Miserables

Who Will Win
Hitchcock.

Yes The Hobbit did use actual makeup to create fascinating characters, but for some reason academy voters love it when they make actors to be old. Especially when they can make them look like famous old people too.

Best Original Score

Skyfall
Lincoln
Life of Pi
Argo
Anna Karenina

Who Will Win.

Skyfall

It's the only nominee whose score I liked just as much as the movie.

Best Original Song

"Everybody Needs a Best Friend - Ted
"Before My Time"- Chasing Ice
"Suddenly:"- Les Miserables
"Pi's Lullabye"- Life of Pi
"Skyfall" - Skyfall

Who Will Win
Skyfall

I was surprised to find out that Scarlett Johannson sung the track "Before My Time" and have it be really good, and the song from Ted is a lot of fun, but I think voters will chose the title track from Skyfall because it is so iconic.

Best Sound Mixing

Argo
Les Miserables
Life Of Pi
Lincoln
Skyfall

Who Will Win.
Les Miserables

Best Sound Editing

Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty

Who Will Win
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Visual Effects

Promethues
Snow White and The Huntsman
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
The Avengers
Life of Pi

Who Will Win.
Life of Pi.

Best Documentary

The Invisible War
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
Searching for Sugar Man
Five Broken Cameras

Who Will Win
The Invisible War

Best Short Documentary

Innocente
Kings Point
Mondays at Racine
Open Heart
Redemption

Who Will Win
Innocente

Best Animated Short

The Simpsons:The Longest Day Care
Paperman
Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head Over Heels

Who Will Win
Paperman

Best Live Action Short

Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death of a Shadow
Henry

Who will Win
Curfew

The Oscars are this Sunday 02/24/2013 on ABC. Good luck with your Oscar picks

Film Rehab wins Rebox codes. Will you be next?

2013-02-21T20:10:00.000-06:00

I apologize about the lateness with this post, but I got tied up with other things during the week and did not have time to write about the winner from last week. It was a good competition from all of those who participated, but the one who came out the winner was Shane from the site Film Rehab. He answered all five questions correctly and has won himself five free codes to use at any Redbox location. Now it's time again to test your movie knowledge for yet another installment of my movie contest. The winner will receive five codes from Redbox, and I will email the winner the codes this upcoming Monday. Shane is not eligible to win for at least another six months.

Now to the game.

For this weeks game I am going to do things a little different. One thing that I will change is that the winner does not need to have a site in order to win(they didn't need one to win the last two weeks either,but I'm not sure how clear I was with that). Instead of posting trivia questions, I'm going to have an unfinished movie quote. You get one point for finishing the quote and other one for guessing the right feature. Whoever has the most points will win the codes. I will post an article about the winner next week. Good Luck.

1. "Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three..."

2. " There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's..."

3. "We've been going about this all wrong. This______ okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy............."

4. "You blow it tonight, girl, and it's ....."

5. " One final thing I have to do... and then I'll be ..."

Write your answers in the comments and make sure you have a way for me to get a hold of you incase you win.

Great artwork by Robert Crumb, that I had to post here.

The Vern's Video Vortex goes live in one week.

2013-02-18T00:11:00.000-06:00

Hello friends.

This is going to be a really quick post, because I work in the morning and need to get some sleep. I just wanted to let you all know that starting in March most of my articles and reviews will be on my new site The Vern's Video Vortex. I have enjoyed writing on this one for the past few years and will continue to post stuff here and there, but not as constantly as I have before. The Vern's Video Vortex is a classic and cult movie site where I review movies that should be noticed more, and help remind you of ones that should be forgotten. I do plan on reviewing new movies from time to time when I can, but those will be featured more on The Cinematic Katzenjammer. At the end of each month, you can find another one of my "When Movies Attack" articles at The Impassioned Cinema. Also each Friday I will give you dear readers some tasty trailer tidbits on my "Trailer Trashing with The Vern" posts over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs. Not only that, but you can also check me out each week along with Nick and Joe for the As You Watch Podcast too.

Many things are in store for you my dear and fellow readers, and I hope you continue to join me through another year of good times, and great entertainment.

Thank You.

The Vern

P.S. Please Vote "American Psycho" as the movie of the month when you visit The Lamb. Thank You.

Daniel's Film Reviews wins The Vern's Movie Contest: Whose Next?

2013-02-13T08:37:00.001-06:00

Yes folks another week has passed us, and since Valentines Day is tomorrow. I want to do something sweet and give you all a chance to win some free Redbox codes. Last weeks winner was Daniel Prinn of Daniel's Film Reviews and not only does he get free rentals. He also gets his site's name listed as the name of this post as well as some genuine praise and love from me too. Mr Prinn does a good job at writing, and his reviews give enough detail without being too long. At only 18 the guy is showing to be quite the movie buff and I look forward to more posts by him.

So now it's your chance to win so let's get to this week's trivia questions. Just leave me answers in the comments section with the best way to contact you. and I will announce whoever wins first on Friday. I'm sorry Daniel Prinn is not eligible to win for another six months.

1. "A Good Day to Die Hard" is the fifth adventure of Mr. John McClaine. In what movie did he have a fight with the T-1000 itself, Mr. Robert Patrick?

2. "Safe Haven" is an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel by director Lasse Hallstrom. Name the other Sparks novel he directed.

3. Roman Coppola is the writer and director of "A Glimpse inside the mind of Charles Swan III" as well as son to Francis Ford and Brother to Sofia. What is his usual position when he works with Sofia Coppola?

4.True or False. Was all of Audrey Hepburn's singing in "My Fair Lady" done by another singer?

5. "Jack The Giant Slayer" reunites director Bryan Singer and writer Chistopher McQuarrie. Name the other movies they worked on.

Best of luck to you all and I hope you win.

As You Watch: Top 3 Biopics and Gambling Films.

2013-02-12T04:25:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone.

I have been busy getting my new site "The Vern's Video Vortex" underway, and right now I have my first review posted on there of the classic "Blade Runner". This one is going to be more of a classic site because I have started to watch older movies and I need to see more. I also want to do my part and post comments and link to other great sites, and podcasts so my Manic Blog Loving Monday posts will remain here as well as my Girls on Film ones. Because I will never say no to a good looking and talented lady. Now on to the latest episodes of the As You Watch podcast.

Episode 21: Top 3 Gambling Movies/ Rounders.

In this episode, Nick, Joe and myself are joined by Dylan Fields of Man I love Films to discuss the 1998 poker flick :"Rounders". We gave it a lot of praise but found that it's main faults were in the badly written female characters. But before we get into the feature. We discuss our top three favorite gambling movies of all time. I stand by my statement that "Casino" is better then "Goodfellas" and the length never bothered me. A fun filled good time that you should check out. Unless you hate the idea of a good time.

Episode 22: Top 3 Biopics/The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

We love having guests come by the show. Freaking love it. It gives us the chance to meet some really great movie bloggers and fans throughout the whole interwebs. Our guest this episode was Daniel Prinn of Daniel's Film Reviews and we discussed the 2008 David Fincher fantasy "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". We get into some good conversations about the movie, including my attraction for Tilda Swinton. The first thing we discuss is our favorite biopics and it was a lot of fun to tell people about an underrated flick that I don't think many have seen called "American Splendor". This episode was a bit different because Joe could not be with us. So Nick and myself had to host it ourselves. It was tough but we managed to pull through and put on a fun and entertaining show.

The Lamb Devours The Oscars and CineKatz's Pick 6.

2013-02-09T08:55:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone.

This week I contributed some articles to both the The Large Association of Movie Blogs, and The Cinematic Katzenjammer. Next week I am going to write up another "When Movies Attack" post for Impassioned Cinema and finish up my first classic review for my new blog. The Vern's Video Vortex. There are a lot of good movies out that I want to see but must wait until the first of March because I got some bills I need to catch up with first. Thank goodness for libraries and people uploading movies on YouTube. Not that I condone that sort of thing, but if your going to provide the service. I'm going to take advantage of it.

I also wanted to give some praise to the winner of my first contest ever. He is one among many others that I hope will win and his name is....Daniel Prinn of Daniel's Film Reviews. Since he won, I will be sending him some codes for free rentals at any Redbox location. All winners get a special praise from me each Wednesday before I post the trivia questions. Keep an eye out for this blog because each week I will be doing the same thing. until 03/09/2013.

The Lamb Devours The Oscars.

Over at The LAMB a whole slew of other lammies including myself have written posts about each of the nominated categories and the 9 nominated pictures. The one I wrote was about the five adapted screenplay nominees. Click the link in red to read mine and all of the other great articles.

Pick 6.

The Cinematic Katzenjammer have a fun weekly thing called Pick Six, and the one I wrote was on movies that were much better on DVD then they were on Blueray. Apparently they improved the visuals but forgot to port over the cool special features. Click on the link above to read the rest and don't forget to read the other fun reviews and stories by myself and the other good writers of this site.

Well that's it for now. I hope you all have a great weekend. See ya soon.