The Versatile Husband

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest! https://www.amazon.com/Straight-Mans-Guide-Same-Hook-Ups-ebook/dp/B00EUBGNTC

THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

For an unidentifiable plain cover eBook edition of The Versatile Husband, go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews

Seniors Make Better Lovers

2021-06-30T11:55:00.000+10:00

Let's be clear here – I'm not talking about the 'blow and go' scenario, but rather a longer sensual scenario that includes extended time together, conversation, preliminary and post coital play, and a drink of some sort.

Seniors have experience, and what they can offer is lovemaking as opposed to just sex. If you haven't experienced the difference, then treat yourself to this situation. It's like comparing a burger at a fast-food establishment to fine-dining with live music. There's no comparison. Both are sexual experiences and both have a definite place in our sexual lexicon but include maturity in the equation and you can be assured of a very special experience.

But what do senior/older men, particularly ones who live on their own, bring to the bedroom to make their lovemaking different to that between two young guys?

- Their time is usually open ended, or at least there's several hours of available time – so no need to hurry. Patience is a virtue for them

- Foreplay is important – kissing, touch, tongue use, warm soapy showers together, massage, hugging

- They're sexually experienced so enjoy teaching a younger or inexperienced guy the potential pleasures of shared sex. Old dogs know lots of tricks to share

- They're considerate of their partner's needs, fantasies, inexperience, fears, culture, marriage status, body shape

- They're more tolerant and understanding. No-one is immune from having had sexual moments they rather the world didn't ever know about so don't expect to be judged. They've seen and been with a wide array of body shapes, age groups, cultures, and egos so little will shock them. They also know that good looks, muscled bodies and big cocks don't necessarily equate to good sex

- They can usually host and are gracious hosts. Expect the bedroom to be comfortable, clean, organized, with good supplies of condoms, lube, poppers, play toys, towels. Expect to feel safe, comfortable and pampered

- Intercourse is not always a requirement, nor is it necessary for them to cum. Sometimes due to medical interventions the pleasures are all in the passionate and sensual journey rather than in the climax. Expect them to help get you off, without them necessarily getting off themselves

- They're open to wider sexual interests and tolerance than just oral and anal. There's role play (especially daddy/son) possibilities, watersports, cross-dressing, BDSM, leather, latex, toys, electro, discipline, food fetishes, 3somes and more-somes, all in a safe and trusting environment

- If you're looking for your meets to be discrete, then you can trust older men to be more discerning than most others. They know from their own lives about the need for privacy and discretion

Photos courtesy Tumblr

- Expect to enjoy your conversations. You may learn about the hidden gay lifestyles that existed underground before being gay was legal, amazing gay travel stories, possibly details about extraordinary lifestyles and occupations. Share your experiences with him and both of you will soon be amazing the other with the joyful stories of living a gay lifestyle.

- Don't always expect safe sex. Many Seniors feel that they've lived a good life and now after decades of complying to safe sex practices they want to enjoy natural bare-back sex.

If you're an inexperienced younger man, a married guy starting to explore M2M meetups or another older man, then I recommend that you don't overlook the intense enjoyment and sensual pleasuring that time spent with an older gay man can offer. A senior sexual mentor is someone very special and will add immeasurably to your life.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

I have sex with men - but I'm not gay

2021-04-01T17:49:00.001+11:00

“I'm not gay, but the guy sucking my dick is."

Should straight men having sex with other men be labelled gay or bi? And alternatively, if a gay guy has sex with a woman would he then be regarded as straight?

This is a very controversial subject and brings out a lot of issues about how we see ourselves sexually and how we might be judged by others. By simply attaching a broad generic label, we are doing a great disservice to what can be seen as a complex issue. Sexuality is a broad spectrum and any curiosity or deviation from the mainstream should be factored into the answer.

I hate labels and prefer to just call myself or any other person - “sexual."

Sexuality is fluid, and when opportunities or desires change, or when curiosity rises to the fore, then a former label might not still be pertinent.

In its simplest terms, most straight men are looking for uncomplicated sex and cock relief. Full stop! It`s more about the penis than the man. Emotion, romance, or commitment are not part of the equation.

Let's seek answers as to why straight men might have sex with other men:

- Their wives or female partners aren't providing any or very little sexual outlet for them

- That it's just easier to find sex with men than it is with women

- That's it's less emotionally involving than with a woman

- It simply feels good. It's all about cock relief and men know what they like and how to get it – and give it

- It feels different - a hairy body feels different to a smooth-skinned female

- There's no chance of pregnancy

- There's an element of masculine ego at work

- They love to fuck anally and the female in his life is averse to this

- He wants a role reversal where he becomes the treated one in the partnership rather than always being in the dominating hunter role

- That it's purely a physical thing and nothing to do with individual self-proclaimed sexual identity. It's just sex!

- They want some variety in their life. No-one wants the same meal every day

- Men continue to want reinforcement that they are successful hunters and to bed a man shows that he's still capable of attracting a sexual mate, whatever age either of them might be

Photos courtesy of Tumblr

- Men love their cocks being sucked whether by a male or a female – another aspect of the purely sexual nature of his hunting

- It's about guys bonding together through experimentation, especially young guys during teenage and young adult periods of their life

- Pleasure is pleasure, no matter who you share that with, whatever their adult age or the physical circumstances

- Men are not always actually attracted to men – they're attracted to the idea of sex with men – and that's a vital difference

- You're only interested in this subject if you're a man over the age of 30. Anyone younger has few issues with sexual fluidity and couldn't care less about gender or labels

- Your circumstances dictate your companions (e.g. an all-male jail, oil rig, isolated camp). If your choice of sexual partners is limited to self-masturbation or other men in the same circumstances, I suspect you'll see it as viable, convenient sex and nothing more

In summary, I would ask how much of this labelling is mind over matter – we shouldn't get ourselves whipped up into a frenzy over putting ourselves into a particular labelled box. Rather, let us enjoy all the variety and pleasures that sex can bring us, and if we happen to have been regarded as straight up to this point in our lives and now we've had enjoyable sexual relief with a man, then so be it. If you want a label, how about - “sexual“.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

SEX DATES: How Long Should I Stay?

2021-01-24T17:28:00.001+11:00

How long do your indoor sex sessions with other male partners take? Based on my own experiences and observations I'd like to propose the following as a loose guide as to what to expect. It's very subjective and is non-scientific in every way, but tell me that I'm not touching on the realities of today's sexual dating scene. Sometimes there is pure lust which implies a quick event, right through to old friends meeting up socially as well as sexually.

Spur-of-the-Moment Pickups

You've been walking in the park, struck up a conversation with a sexy stranger, and here you are in his nearby apartment making out. This is pure lust, an opportunity to both enthusiastically admit that you're both randy as hell, that you care nothing about each other except being in each other's arms, other than hot lips, throbbing cocks and, very available arses. It's all very fervent, quick, and exactly what both of you are looking for right at this moment. DURATION: 5 – 15 minutes as neither of you wants to talk, but simply blow and then go on with your life. Expect nothing more than hot physical satisfaction.

New-to-the-Scene Married Guys

He's just about ready to shoot his load the minute he walks through the door. He's been waiting this moment for quite a while, especially if there's been no sex at home with the wife. His balls are loaded and he just can't wait for the nakedness and the touch to send him into whatever erotic delirium he has imagined this scenario to lead to. He wants to fuck and have everything done to him, but as soon as hands or lips touch him, he's lost to any lengthy encounter. It suddenly becomes so overwhelming a sensation that he just wants it over as quickly as possible so that he can feel the dizzying heights of pleasure his mind demands. “Fuck! I'm cumming. I can't hold back“ is a cry that will not only assure you of a hot load of jizz, it will also assure you as host, of a return visit to relieve his guilt about cumming so quickly and about wanting to take the next encounter more slowly and much further. He'll wipe up, get dressed and leave within the blink of an eye. DURATION: 5 – 10 minutes maximum.

Experienced Married Guys

They know what they want from a MM encounter. They know that quick anonymous sex can be fantastic, though generally isn't. Rather, they are looking for an encounter that will make memories for their masturbation activities and sometimes, create thoughts to silently invoke while having heterosexual sex at home. They are looking for masculine approval, a male friend who is like-minded, that special physical touch that only another man can offer, the crossing of that forbidden threshold of kissing, and fellatio and fucking. Of including maybe just a bit of general, non-specific conversation. He wants to leave the meetup with not just a physical relief of having cum, but have a feeling of worth, of being part of a wider masculine community and one that gives him the emotional sustenance to continue with the family life he goes back to live with. But well he knows that sex, touch, and companionship will always draw him back to nice enjoyable male company. DURATION: 60 minutes minimum.

Threesomes/Groups

This is a setup purely for sex. It's not about emotional bonding or finding a new fuck buddy, or even having emotional or tactile pleasure – it's about getting off with other like-minded guys. You arrive, you greet, you touch, you suck, you fuck, you blow, you go. Depending on your level of involvement, how long you can last, how many times you can cum in a session, is what will determine your length of stay. The success of these events depends on everyone actively participating, therefore the more guys involved the longer the session may last. Even with threesomes, there can be a pairing between two of the three, leaving the third somewhat out of the loop. So, timing with groups is not about the length of the group's activities, but rather how long each participant wants to stay. DURATION: 30 – 60 minutes for tops, through to “as long as you like“ for bottoms being gang-banged.

Old Friends/Fuck Buddies

Photos courtesy of Tumblr

These are the guys who are most comfortable with having sex. They know what to expect as they've been there and done it all before with the partner(s). It's a social outlet as well as being sexual. There will always be a relaxed atmosphere, perhaps a drink or catch up chat beforehand, laughter and more chat during sex, perhaps taking a break between bouts and then after the action is over, cuddling and naked body contact, followed by more conversation under the shower and over a drink. Probably will have a second quick round of pleasuring before heading home. DURATION: 120 minutes minimum

Bathhouses/Saunas

Luck and timing are two things you can't predict when visiting these steamy places. All you need to know is what time you have to be gone by. What happens between arrival and departure is the lure that keeps drawing guys back to such establishments. Individual encounters with other men can be few or many, deeply satisfying or mind-blowingly shallow, lengthy or brief. The men are all seeking physical relief and if anything else – like a conversation – happens, then that's a bonus. Each encounter is “fresh meat“. He may be to your liking, maybe not. But he's a man, seeking sex, and he's there right in front of you naked and available. Inevitable eye-contact will ensure sex happens. And of course, there's hopefully another guy waiting just around the corridor corner, so if this guy isn't up to scratch, then wait a minute or two and start cruising again. DURATION: 7 minutes for a quick cubicle pairing, 30 minutes for a mutually agreeable fuck session, 40 minutes if there's after-glow conversation. With 45 minutes maximum for any encounter, as within every guy's head his brain is either saying that he's still curious about who else might be available, or “how do I get out of this situation so that I can go home“. All encounters are transitory.

There you have it. "Peter's Rough Guide to Sexual Encounters". If you can see yourself in one of these scenarios, then take a moment to share that with us by adding a comment.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

The Demise of Clothing Optional Gay Resorts

2021-01-19T19:22:00.003+11:00

Parliament House closed on November 3, 2020.

No – not the home of Australia's government, but the infamous gay clothing-optional resort in Orlando, Florida - self-proclaimed as the world's largest gay resort.

To a worldwide group of mature-age men, this is the passing of legendary history.

Over the last forty-five years, these men flew the world to enjoy resort-style living where they could meet other like-minded, and broad-minded gay men. Their itineraries made sure that at least a few day's stay at these all-gay hotel/motel/resorts would result in the probability of sex 24/7, saving any sleep requirements for the onward plane journey.

These infamous resorts included Hotel Honolulu (Hawaii), Coral Sands Motel (Los Angeles), INNdulge, CCBC or any resort in Warm Springs Drive (Palm Springs), the Trades Hotel (Blackpool, UK), Golden Bear (Amsterdam), Island House (Key West), – and probably the most infamous of all, Parliament House in Florida. The latter offered six bars, drag shows, a theatre, café, one hundred and twelve rooms, clothing-optional pool, and men on the prowl for sex – day and night – and where the likes of Cyndi Lauper and Sandra Bernhard entertained.

Such places were melting pots for the world's itinerant gay men. In a world of prejudice, homophobia, and prudery, these were oases where you could be yourself, feel safe, be naked, openly cruise for sex, enjoy conversations with flight attendants, corporate lawyers, or everyday gay men from the four corners of the world. They were insulated worlds where for once you were in the majority, respected and pampered. In Palm Springs, you could watch porn being filmed poolside, in Hawaii live your fantasy in the Bette Davis suite or, in Los Angeles cruise the fully enclosed motel where the doors of the forty suites were rarely closed. They offered queen and king size beds suitable for orgies and intimate sleepovers – no questions asked.

Photos courtesy Tumblr

Some, like the much-lamented Hotel Honolulu, assisted in that pre-internet age by sharing gay information. Their suites all had thick diaries where each occupant could add their comments about friendly restaurants, unsafe cruising areas, cheap clothing outlets, gay bars, rip-off merchants, backrooms, and gay-friendly everything worldwide They were compulsive reading and provided an invaluable service for spreading information throughout the then underground gay world.

And if you were fortunate, you might also meet men who could become life-long friends, several of who continue to enrich my life. Long live the remaining clothing-optional gay resorts!

* First published in Australia's Star Observer Gay Newspaper 2020

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Gay Sex During COVID-19: Best current advice (August 2020)

2020-08-22T14:56:00.000+10:00

Safe sex in the world of COVID-19. We desire it, we're told not to interact with others, we're confused. Sex is part of our everyday lives, but right now we need to keep safe. Physical intimacy can increase the risk of infection, as can touching surfaces and objects, and then touching our mouth or face. The coronavirus can be present in the mouth, hence kissing should be avoided. So what can we do to decrease these risks?

Here are some observations and recommendations from experts around the world:

Masturbation – knock yourself out with frequency and enthusiasm. It's currently the world's number one male exercise regime and it's a totally safe practice when done from your home without the aid of strangers. Look at some porn and let the jacking-off begin (as if you haven't already been wildly indulging yourself for weeks and months now). Add a sex toy or two for variety – but keep up the cleansing of them after every playtime.

Online virtual sex – how fantastic is Zoom, Skype, KIK, and all of the other live-streaming apps that we can use to watch and share our masturbation activities with new friends the world over. Totally safe sex. And don't forget that our biggest sex organ is our imagination, so add lots of erotic writing to that streaming scenario. More opportunities here for those toys too.

Glory Holes – who would ever have suspected that these would be viewed as a recommended safe sex facility during a pandemic. And the reason for the recommendation - it eliminates face-to-face contact.

Regular Partners – if they are within your home, keep up the regular sex you have been having. If they are regular fuck buddies who live externally to your home, it's your decision as to whether to keep playing with them or not. The experts seem to agree that with regular partners who consciously communicate with one another about their activities and their health, are in a low-risk situation. It's important to share health information if anything changes or if one of you visits a sex-on-premises establishment or one of you has anonymous sex with a stranger. Re-evaluate the situation every time before leaping into bed with your FB.

Abstinence from anonymous casual sexual partners – at the best of normal times we can't be sure of the background of any of our casual or anonymous sexual partners, so in this time of pandemic activity, we must assume that anyone you don't know the lifestyle or the current sexual history of is a potential carrier, a potential threat. This is a personal judgment you need to make for your own safety and ongoing health. Perhaps judge the potential risk of the virus devastation on your body against the short-term urge that is pressuring you in the balls. We can't always have what we want at the time we tell ourselves we need it. Patience and a preventative “no – I'm abstaining for the moment,“ will allow us to safely play with whoever we want once a vaccine arrives. And that's on the horizon.

Sex-on-Premises locations – First thing, don't go if you have any symptoms of the virus (see below). Think of your fellow gay and bi men and their health. We need to support one another if we are ever going to get back to our beloved 'normal' sex lives.

Then ask about what plans they have in place for your safety. All bathhouses/saunas should have a COVID-19 plan in place that states both your and their obligations to keep everyone as safe as possible. These plans could include compulsory wearing of masks, the venue supplying multiple dispensers of soap and hand sanitizers, patrons complying with local social distancing laws (especially when in chill-out or cinema areas) and, the venue undertaking regular deep cleaning all the public parts of the facility. Magazines and printed material will be absent and contactless payments in place of cash will be normal. Should there be an outbreak of the virus involving the facility, your name, address and contact number that you will compulsorily have given at check-in will be used for tracing and tracking. Shower frequently both before and after sex. Reduce the number of sexual partners and avoid extended kissing – saliva exchange is not a good thing. Avoid group sex with strangers – better to have sex with trusted men known to you. Rimming is as yet unproven as to whether the virus can remain active in stools, so best to avoid this activity for now. With amyl or poppers, only use your own bottle – don't share – and be aware of the possible effect on your respiratory system and how that could affect any virus recovery on your body.

Get tested – if you have any of these symptoms then get tested immediately, return to home without going anywhere else, wait at home until your results are confirmed. Do not share intimacy with others during this period (usually 24 – 72 hours). Classic symptoms include “sore throat, fever, cough, shortness of breath, runny or blocked nose, headache, loss of smell or taste, diarrhoea, muscle aches and pains“. It's really important that you self-isolate until your results are known. This greatly reduces the chances of infecting others.

Stay Optimistic – this strange time will pass:

As one authority states “Obviously, this is not the first time our community has faced a health issue that has impacted our sexual pleasure and wellbeing. We are incredibly good at adopting effective health strategies - and that will be true of COVID-19. Let’s look out for ourselves and each other in a difficult time."

I couldn't agree more.

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Men Watching Men Having Sex

2020-02-24T18:00:00.000+11:00

What is it that makes watching live sex such a turn-on for so many men? Here are some observations you might relate to:

- Perhaps it's something that I wouldn't usually do myself but if someone else is doing it then that has somehow given me the approval to watch them

- My upbringing taught me that sex should be a private event but here's an opportunity for me to break my self-imposed forbidden boundaries

- It's a chance to learn about how others have sex. Perhaps an opportunity to observe how a bottom can take a thick/big cock or see different positions for sex in action

- We can silently compare our previous sexual performance with what we're watching

- It's such a rare opportunity in most men's sex lives, especially for men in deep suburban or rural areas that it becomes more than exciting because of that rarity

- We project ourselves, our fantasies, our lustful desires onto the performing couple (or group)

- The sounds excite us. Sex is not just a visual activity

- Silently we react to the invisible pheromones being given off by the participants. These sexually excite us

- If we're in a group sex situation the sexual excitement is multiplied as we decide which man we'll play with next. While we're having sex, seeing others next to us or within sight also adds to the intensity of what we're feeling. Perhaps we think that we can do it better than they are doing, or perhaps we want to sexually enjoy ourselves in positions just like others are currently doing, or just simply we want to try it with the horny man who smiled at us and sent their come-and-get-me message. With any scenario, we grow more confident as the surrounding activity and our involvement continues

- We've come out of a monogamous relationship where the sex eventually became boring. Now we have the urge to see what we've been missing out on, a chance to compare our limited sexual knowledge with what the wider gay/bi community is capable of teaching us.

- Mentally and physically we're preparing ourselves for the moment when we hope to be invited to join them. My mind tells my cock to get ready – we're going into the fray very soon

- Watching sexual action via a wall crack, a keyhole or through a window adds to the 'forbidden' aspect

- Live sex is often much more exciting than video performances because of the immediacy of the action and the sexually charged environment we are already in

- - Watching naked men showering has been for many gay and bi men their introduction to the excitement of voyeuring. Even though no sex is happening, breaking the forbidden barrier of watching nudity is so intense that it becomes a sexually stimulating event that is secretly sought after throughout their lifetime

- - We've been invited to watch others having live sex via a phone app. As we will also be on view to them we can masturbate, hence giving the participants an additional sexual thrill as they watch me in return. Having someone watch you whilst not physically being able to join in, can certainly urge on the enthusiasm and excitement of the active couple. Watching live sex happen on the other side of the world can also bring in cultural and ethnic differences to add to the excitement we can feel

For me, watching sex happen in real-time, preferably within physical reach of where it's happening, is an act of voyeurism that is hard to surpass. It crosses many of those forbidden boundaries I was raised to respect. But it also lets me know that I am accepted as an on-looking companion to those actively participating together in their sex. My naked body is at least initially accepted even though it's not always going to be invited to partake. That in itself is confidence-boosting. We all need to feel accepted. Being allowed to watch sex happen is a great privilege and a fabulous turn-on to additional sexual activity either with them or with another man. At the very least it provides an erotic memory that can be pulled up in the mind for use in the future.

Thank you to all the men who have been extrovert enough to have let me watch you – I've loved watching every stroke!

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains a hot self-contained story.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Erections While You Sleep (Yes, Two Hours of Them Every Night)

2020-02-20T19:23:00.001+11:00

We've all woken up with “morning wood“ (or as it's often called, “morning glory“) – that is an erection that has spontaneously occurred sometime in our sleep and is still there when we awaken. This is a totally normal and essential biological process, so absolutely nothing to worry about. As teens, we've woken to many a wet dream, either during deep sleep in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning, where our erection is pumping out juice into our nightwear, jocks or straight onto the bedclothes. Oh, the subsequent embarrassment of having to hide the wet residue from Mum! Had we been having erotic dreams, or playing with ourselves or sleeping in a humping-the-bed position, or on your back, then it's totally understandable that the erection occurred. But what if we are sleeping, unconscious to the world and we still get erections?

I've just been reading Bill Bryson's recent book, “The Body“, where he casually mentions that men can have multiple erections throughout the night totaling TWO HOURS a night (Page 265). This instantly intrigued me particularly as I said to myself “how come?“ and “why don't I know about this?" I would have thought that creating erections to that length of time would have somehow been noticeable to me. But no.

Naturally, I investigated further.

It seems that most of us healthy men (or those of us without erectile dysfunction) can achieve three to five erections overnight during sleep, with each of them lasting some 30 minutes in duration. And all of this amazing wood not needing any physical, visual or mental stimuli in order to achieve their creation. They are usual during the aspect of sleep known as REM (Rapid Eye Movement) and are regarded as useful for ongoing penile health.

The medical term is Nocturnal Penile Tumescence (or NPT) and it's where blood moves into the penis following some stimulus. These multiple erections are regarded by the medical profession as a sure sign of a healthy adult male individual. If you suffer from depression, heart disease, low testosterone, diabetes or that you've had a prostate intervention, then there is a high likelihood that you will not be getting such erections. And seeing you asked, yes, women do have similar clitoral erections while sleeping.

Men's bodies do change as they age, and these erections, especially the “morning wood“ is an indicator that this erection was the last of the many raised overnight. Without this wake-up indicator, it's likely there weren't any other erections during the night.

So, what causes these multiple – and sustained – erections? Nobody yet knows! Theories include the rapid eye movement exciting testosterone, a full bladder, erotic dreams, nerve excitement in the spinal cord, possibly when nitrous oxide is released into the blood, when the brain releases the erection-making hormone noradrenaline and/or when oxygen-rich blood is circulated to the penis. When in deep sleep we can also be in a state of paralysis, hence having no control over what is happening within our body.

The measurement of nocturnal erections is also used to diagnose whether erectile dysfunction is psychological or physiological – and yes, there is a device to do the measuring – a Rigiscan. It is strapped to a leg and has a feeder length attached which then has two elastic straps to wrap around the penis shaft, one near the top and one lower down. It will then indicate whether there has been erectile pressure due to girth expansion created during the night within the two bands and if so, this will be recorded for later computer analysis.

The medical profession indicates that this nightly penis workout is good for the health of the penis as it continues to keep the penile tissue soft and elastic, and in fighting-fit condition for the sexual day ahead. If you rarely wake up during the night with a woody, then this could be a sign that erectile dysfunction may be an issue to be further explored.

For me, now knowing that my penis is stretching to full mast up to some two hours a night is better than any other gym regime I could imagine. That's another really good reason to get a full eight hours sleep every night in readiness to putting that “gym-fit“ penis to work for your pleasure.

Who knew?

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Sex Makes Me Hungry

2019-09-08T19:03:00.000+10:00

After a couple (or many) hours of multiple sexual couplings at the local gay bathhouse/sauna I find myself desperately hungry. After getting dressed and exiting, I realise that I need an immediate food fix – and for me that's at a nearby fast-food outlet. It's always a cheeseburger and fries, and occasionally with a cold drink. That first taste of fries hitting the mouth is (almost) as satisfying as the sex might have been - or was. Once devoured, and I say that word deliberately, as “eaten“ is too pale a word to be an accurate description, then my life can once again carry on and I can head for home once again energised and refreshed.

And the same thing happens at home with just a single partner. After our sex, if my sexual partner is willing, we have a drink and some nibbles of cheese, savoury biscuits, cake, pate and the like over some interesting conversation. It's also happened that we've so renewed ourselves, that it's then back into bed to continue our passion.

If my trick has blown and gone, then I invariably – and immediately - reach for some of the same edibles before getting on with the clean-up process. I find that a sandwich is ideal, as the bread is instantly filling my food desire.

Quenching my thirst isn't so important as having a carbs hit but if my sex has been particularly passionate with lots of kissing, oral and licking then I like to replenish the liquid lost with water, hot green tea or fruit juice . This urgency for food after a satisfying sex romp has been something that I've noticed about myself throughout my life. However, I'm not alone in this as talking with other guys, there's generally an admission that it's the same for them.

No-one seems to know exactly why this happens but perhaps these observations from my male drinking partners might be pertinent:

- - Sex IS an exercise program – and an extensive whole-body workout one - and therefore we use up energy which needs to be refuelled

- - Sex is energetic and therefore uses up some of our fat supplies

- - It's not wise to have a full stomach before starting energetic sex. We are therefore already less than satisfied before we begin, so naturally an hour or two later the body is telling us that it's still wanting food

- - The more intercourse ejaculations one has during the sexual encounter and the more enthusiastic the ejaculation, generally the stronger the desire for food. They also added that if there is no ejaculation the desire for food is definitely decreased. And if you only masturbate to climax, then that releases only a quarter of the chemicals in the brain that an intercourse ejaculation will have, hence not such an urgent replacement regime required

- - Protein needs replenishing hence meat and fish. (Yeah, love the beef in my cheeseburger). The best

foods to get you ready to go again for round two (or three) include bananas, meat and fish and from my experience, hot and salty fries

- - During sex our thoughts and desires are focused on having a good time, but as soon as we climax then the real world starts to come back into focus. And what better things to do with our now empty hands than to hold food and/or drink

- - Sharing food can be a very pleasurable post-coital experience with the conversation leading to stronger male-male bonding, and possibly to a continuing sexual relationship. Perhaps “the way to a man's heart“ is indeed through his stomach. Many a fuck-buddy/friendship arrangement has been consummated this way.

Tell us about your experiences of being hungry after sex – and perhaps, also your theory as to why it happens. It seems that it's something science and the medical world hasn't yet figured out.

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Online Dating for Older Men

2019-09-03T16:48:00.000+10:00

Online gay dating offers a widowed or separated mature man another opportunity to find friendship, good sex and perhaps even love.

Male friends, all eager to help you forget the tragedy, will invariably want you to start dating again – or at least get your share of man sex. And that means they – rather than you – will want to choose what they see as a suitable dating site for you to join.

You'll protest with “I'm not ready“, “it's too soon“, “I don't need another man in my life right now“ but they insist and invariably take control.

“It won't do you any harm to just fill out a profile or two… I'll do it for you“.

And so, they decide whether you need an instant sex pickup site like Grindr or Squirt and therefore download the app to your smart phone. Perhaps Silver Daddies would be better as that specialises in older/younger and older/older and is usually used on a computer or tablet. Or perhaps a bisexual site like Adult Friend Finder where both MM and MF and everything inbetween can be found. It's also time to leave behind monogamy thinking, if that is something that has been the norm in your past.

Hence, they sit with you, perhaps with a scenario like this unfolding…

Name: Here you'll preferably need a profile name that tells the reader of your profile what you're looking for… “luvoldermenArizona“, “backdoor taker“ or “thickNhung“. A little bit of time getting a catchy name can pay big dividends in your results.

Age: “Everyone lies on their profiles. Let's take a decade off your real age." This is where you decide on your honesty and try to put yourself in the mind of your suitors and what they're looking for. Just remember, that as one profile I know states: “If you don't look like your profile photo when we meet, then you'll buy me drinks until you do."

Location: If you don't want your nosey neighbours, ex work-colleagues or your friends to know too much about your sexual desires, then perhaps go generic and just use the city name rather than the suburb. Or use a nearby suburb as your location.

Sexual Preference: Top. Bottom. Versatile. Bi. Gay group. Oral only. If this is the time to try new experiences, then state them.

Age Preference: Does a younger man interest you – or not? Who are you most comfortable with in regards to age and experience?

Ability to Host: You'll definitely get much more sex if you offer “able to host“. Otherwise be prepared to travel to his home, or a bathhouse/sauna. Now is also the time to decide if you're comfortable having strangers in your home, and if those sentimental photos of your late partner will be too confronting for you to actually get an erection and have sex in his gaze.

Profile Description: Time for a paragraph or two that will lure in the right men (yes – men – plural). Do you want “blow and go“ anonymous sex? Do you want friendship first and sex later? Are you seeking married men in order to avoid new relationship issues? Is bareback raw sex important or scary? Do you fantasise over the thought of all-night encounters, perhaps sex-fuelled “weekends away“? Quick sex or something of a social meet up with conversation and wine?

What's the nature of the men you'd like to meet – that is, retirees, professional business men, creative types, party-drug users, 420 (cannabis) users, farmers? Do you want to disclose your HIV status? Are you popper/amyl friendly? Lay bare your Erectile Dysfunction impotence issues?

The longer the profile the less number of men will read all the way through it, and there's a chance that you will come across as controlling or “needy“ – neither of which is attractive to most online sex daters. Therefore, make the first paragraph alluring and state your preferences.

Photos: Chances are your friends will choose a “friendship“ type photo. They often see us differently to what we might see ourselves. For me, a smiling face in close-up works wonders. A full-body shot is good as it shows at one glance your physical shape and will attract men accordingly – and saves a lot of time-consuming emails later swapping images. Make sure they are current or honestly reflect your current body status. Under no circumstances should you ever put up a profile without an image whether that be facial or genital. Without an image, you're dead to most horny men and in their eyes, simply not worth the effort to chase and find out more.

Subscribe or Not: Most dating sites allow minimal contact with other members for free. However, if you want to have multiple message contact with one or several men, you will need to become a paying member. This will then allow full access to all other members at any time and that includes all their photos. The fee will appear monthly on your credit card statement, usually under a non descript name. If others see this statement then be aware that your membership may be noticed.

Responses: Don't be reticent about taking the initiative and telling someone of your interest in them. Select something of interest from their profile to highlight, for example, “I like movies“ – and briefly tell him what you've just recently viewed yourself and how much nicer it would have been to discuss it with him in bed. That then gives you both something in common and is a much more subtle approach than the in-your-face statement of “when can we fuck?“ contained in a single-line message. Your response is saying that you're interested in the brain and spirit of the man rather than just his cock. My experience is that older men appreciate the genuine, yet fun approach – and I can assure you that your message will stand out from the standard and all-too-often used “blow and go“ approach.

The Sex Starved and the Over-Eager: This is a warning. I'm also constantly being surprised by the fact that just because someone has a profile that they are getting lots of sex. That's VERY UNTRUE. To receive ANY messages at all is often the reality of online dating. Hence anyone who shows an interest can become the target of the lonely man hiding behind his profile. Remember, it's your body and your life, so it's OK to say “Thanks. But no thanks“. And sadly, I can practically guarantee that sooner or later you'll have a persistent stalker harassing you with very frequent messages – and when that happens that's the time to find the BLOCK button of the home page. None of us needs the desperate and the dateless wasting our time. We have nicer men to gently seduce and share our passion with.

Meeting: Meet in neutral territory (like a coffee shop) if that makes you feel more comfortable. Personally, I think that is a waste of time. If you feel good vibes from having a chat on the phone (I ALWAYS chat because I can pick up on those vibes) then meet and have sex immediately. If something doesn't feel right about the guy, then trust your instinct and tell him that it's not going to work between the two of you – and move on to another man. For me, that phone chat saves hours and lots of embarrassment when face-to-face. I'm online for sex and then possible friendship or developing a regular fuck buddy scenario. I'm not there to drink coffee at some out-of-the-way neutral shopping centre with a stranger.

All photos courtesy of Tumblr

Summary: Those first couple of dates with like-minded men will set you on your path to finding new happiness. The men and the circumstances won't feel the same as it was with your previous loved one. You're not looking to replace, rather you're looking to expand your life and all its possibilities. It's OK to feel a little scared, to lose an erection at the wrong time, to appreciate that the man's body feels different to what you've been used to. Embrace those differences and look forward to the time when you absolutely click in every way with a nice new man that you can become keen on spending more time with. That's exactly what your previous partner would want for you.

Enjoy your new sexual and friendship adventure. It's not as daunting as you might initially think.

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Golden Showers (Water Sports): A Beginner's Guide

2019-08-21T17:16:00.000+10:00

In sexual terminology, a “golden shower“ or “water sports“ involve the act of urination as part of consensual sexual foreplay. It can also be termed as urolagnia, piss fetish, urination role play, pissing foreplay or a mild form of kink.

While this form of sexual play may not be considered mainstream or everyday by most gay or bi men, I am constantly surprised by the interest in the subject. It’s seen by many guys I know as slightly taboo, a bit kinky, but “I’m up for it if you are“. It's happening more widely and frequently than we might at first think.

Why Is Piss Play Between Men So Appealing:

- It's “dirty“ – didn't your mother tell you not to play with your pee.

- It's sensual – when you first accidentally (or otherwise) pissed down your leg and you thought “Mmm, that's not as bad as I thought it might have been. And yeah, it DOES feel good."

- It can give a sense of power over another person. In the sexual games we play, there's a place for such consenting dominance and it's much more common than you might think.

- There is also a vulnerability about exposing yourself to what many would call kink. So, partner-trust issues are also relevant.

- The urine is clean – well, not perfectly sterile, but pretty close to that. Just don't drink too much of it and according to some, missing the first squirt that could hold bacteria, is a good idea. And of course, never play if either party has a urinary or bladder infection, or open cuts on the body.

- The aroma reminds the players of some other time in their life where sensual memories are triggered.

- It pushes the boundaries in the opposite direction to our usual vanilla or conservative every-day sexual activities.

- We all have to pee multiple times a day, so it's an activity that we can ALL actively participate in at any time, whether we are the dominant or the submissive individual. Urine is always available in us in some degree of volume and strength, so whip out the hosepipe and start to enjoy a new erotic energy to your sex play.

A Beginner's Scenario:

- Talk to your prospective partner before you meet and discuss what you are both looking for from a golden shower/water sport session. Explain how experienced or inexperienced you are in this activity.

- Do you both want to participate?

- Will only one be giving his pee?

- Will one or both be clothed, or totally naked?

- Will either of you drink the liquid or is it just an external sensuous body experience?

- When in the session do you agree to play out this scenario – this is important as it helps immensely for the pisser as to how he plans his water drinking beforehand. It's important that the scheduled meeting time is agreed to with some reliability especially if one is going to be ready with a full bladder of pee that needs to be discharged within minutes of getting together. A full bladder will also focus the owner's attention until such time as he gets relief. Everything else is off the immediate agenda.

- Do you both want to meet and chat for a while during which you both build up a bladder full of pee? That means sharing drinks like water or beer while getting to know each other better.

- Do either of you have time limits on the session?

- Do you plan to shower together to wash off the pee or do you like the idea of the aroma and taste of dried pee being important in the bedroom activities to follow?

- Will the taste of his urine-covered body bring you enhanced pleasure as you explore its nakedness?

The Host's Preparations:

Bathrooms are best locations as they can easily be cleaned after the end of the whole sex session.

- Is it likely to be a moveable feast? That is, start with one or both of you in a bath. Or in a shower area. Or sitting on the toilet. Or kneeling on the tiled floor. Or lying on his back.

- Will it be in a bedroom where you'll need waterproof sheeting for the bed or the floor? Or a bunch of absorbent large towels. In fact, you'll need a good supply of towels wherever you conduct the session.

- Will it be outdoors in your garden or other secluded area? Can the area be hosed down afterwards?

Be attentive to his needs especially if the guy is new to you and is a bit unsure of how the session will unfold. If there's anxiety on his part or over-anticipation and he's unable to pee on demand, then change the topic of conversation so as to divert his attention and you should soon get a warm flow going.

Drinking Preparations:

Steadily drinking water over a thirty-minute period seems to be a good basis for a long and steady flow. Beer is good too, and for a fresher taste, consume fruit juice.

Positions for Pleasure:

Younger guys will generally have a stronger flow than older men so take this into consideration when choosing your location and how the act(s) will be performed. The feeling of warm piss firstly hitting your excited, expectant body and secondly, flowing over you as he hose-pipes it from your toes to your head, is a feeling like no other. Don’t necessarily expect a spontaneous erection, but if a golden shower is your thing, then certainly expect heightened sexual arousal.

1. You fall to your knees so that you're in direct sight of his penis. Suck it first to show your eagerness. Then he, being semi-erect, can direct the flow directly into your mouth, onto your face, onto your chest or with pressure from him directly onto your genitals (that pressure can give your dick a real thrill and increase your immediate horniness). You may be totally naked (recommended) or wearing only a t-shirt and no underwear. This is a position that you can undertake anywhere in the house where you can protect the flooring or the furniture. Great for the back garden or anywhere secluded in the great outdoors.

2. You're totally naked, lying on your back on the shower floor or in the bath. He stands astride over you and from his height, he directs his spray all over you – face, pecs, genitals, stomach. That's when the cold tile floor contrasts so incredibly well with the velvet warmth that's flowing onto you. Having him hosepipe the flow all over you could send you into amazing sensual delights. Closing your eyes while being sprayed I suggest is a good idea, though watching a steady warm stream tumble down over your naked body is a turn-on to most guys. A feeling of degradation, being humiliated or taking part in a “dirty“ act could flash in to your mind, any one of which could satisfy an inner sexual desire.

3. Bend over on the floor onto all fours putting your welcoming ass in the air and letting your dick dangle freely. He's then free to spray all over your back, head, balls, and especially directly towards your rosebud. You'll get amazing feelings as it sprays your back. It's particularly sensual as your back rarely gets this amount of sensual attention in other forms of love making. And as for a strong close up flow against your waiting rosebud, that will be nothing less than amazing. The pressure of the flow, the hands-free attention, the warmth of the flow as it hits, spreads and drips down onto your dangling manhood, and further down your inner legs, is MM eroticism at its rarest and best.

4. Sit on the open toilet seat and let him straddle you in a standing position so that his dick is about at your mouth height. You can now drink directly from his cockhead, let him spray your face (you might want to close your eyes) or let him direct it straight onto your chest and nipples, then feel the moving sensations as he lowers the flow downwards onto your stomach and then straight onto your dick. All the while you're getting the sensual enjoyment of not only the alternating directional flow, but also the travelling warmth as it trickles and flows across and down you. If you are furry, then expect the sensation to be more intense, and take a big breath as he unexpectedly runs his strong hands through your piss-drenched matting. Whoever thought that heaven could be found sitting naked on a toilet seat with another naked man standing and peeing over you?

5. If he has good bladder control, then maybe don't use up all his tank at once. Have some golden shower fun, then carry on in the bedroom while kissing, stroking, giving and receiving oral – and in due course return to the bathroom and continue your wet play. Maybe, even encourage your man to save (or produce) some more so that when he fucks you bare, then he can piss inside of you (golden enema). That's not the easiest task for many guys to perform, but if he's got better-than-average bladder control then it might be worth giving it a shot particularly as you won't find it will happen with just your average everyday fuck buddy. What a bonus to the session that would be!

Additional Ideas:

- If you're both participating, perhaps the idea of the original “cock fight“ where you both spray each other simultaneously with swords of hot pee, might be a good course to take.

- You could both pee into a container or two and when they are filled, you could have drinking dares, or hair washes or simply pour it all over the other one as a form of shower gel. Remember, the longer that it's outside the body the colder it will become, so if you're looking for that warm, velvety sensation on your skin, then it's best to receive it directly from the hosepipe.

- Perhaps while you are both wet use your hands to spread the pee all over your partner, frottage his cock and stomach, embrace him from behind and squirm into each other. Give him oral and taste those last droplets - and enjoy the new sensational taste remaining on the shaft. Kiss him and taste the erotic remains of the pee on his lips. There’s a delicious feeling of decadence involved in this mutual abandonment of pleasuring. It’s not something talked about in polite conversation, but when you are caught up in the eroticism of abandonment and spreading his warm juice all over you, then don’t be surprised that you could at that moment, feel the most sexually liberated person on the planet.

- After the piss-play is over shower and soap each other in order to prepare yourselves for the continuation of your lovemaking.

- Alternatively, you can stay wet with urine and then slip off to the bedroom where you have already prepared the bed with towels. Two pee-soaked men licking and loving, sucking and fucking is a wild sensation. The pee will quickly dry but you’ll still notice its tang, its aroma and it’s subtle feeling of decadence. As a result, don’t be surprised if you have one of your most uninhibited sexual encounters – ever!

Whatever ways you play, remember what you both initially hoped to get out of the event. You may be both alpha males, very sexy piggys, but don't be too serious. Laugh a lot, perhaps remembering your happy childhood experiences of trying to pee on your friends and how they screamed whenever your flow got anywhere near them.

All photos courtesy

Water Sports for the Single Man:

If you like the feeling of warm urine against your skin and you’re all alone, then it’s time to pee your pants. While watching porn, eyeing the boys in speedos or being just plain horny, piss away inside your jeans and jocks and feel the erotic pleasures it can give. As it cools the pleasures will subside, but for those few moments of warm liquid intensity it’s a tactile pleasure that can be as intense and enjoyable as any masturbation activity.

Golden Showers for Groups:

At the extreme end of water sports are the men who like to lie in a trough-like situation where lots of other men can piss on their naked body over an extended period of time. There are dance and sex parties where this happens near the toilets, hence no need for urinals.

Summary:

Golden showers can offer the most clean fun two or more people can enjoy together while recognizing that it is in fact regarded by most people as something “dirty“. The urine is clean, disease free, it's warm, it's always available wherever you are – and it's free, environmentally friendly and can be easily topped up by drinking additional water. What's not to like?

Have fun!

Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Sex Funnies. Time for a laugh.

2019-08-18T15:50:00.000+10:00

My email inbox has always attracted a continuing array of posters, t-shirts, memes and cartoons that generally say something about our attitudes towards sex, politically correct they may - or may not - be.

Here's today's collection to get you smiling…

Note: Visuals depicted here are all owned by the respective copyright owners. If that is you, please let us know.
Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Sexual Partners: How Many Men Have You Had Sex With?

2019-08-01T18:04:00.000+10:00

Recently I was chatting in a group when the subject of numbers of sexual partners came up. And the fact that heterosexual sex partner numbers can be very low by comparison to those of gay males we know of. The number of sexual activities of single gay men and those gay men in open gay relationships who play without their primary male partner being involved, are often out of all proportion to those of the average heterosexual man. It was our hear-say observation that their sex lives are very promiscuous in comparison to heterosexual single men.

Numbers:

I suggest that this following scenario would probably be true for a certain section of single gay men, particularly men above 40 years of age who live in suburbia and have access to internet pickups, a local cruising area or beat, a gay sex-on-premise sauna or bathhouse, or a local gay bar….

Weekly - at least two encounters per week for a one-on-one session. That’s a minimum of 104 sex acts per year.

Fortnightly – one visit to the bathhouse/sauna where at least 5 different individual and anonymous anal and/or oral sexual liaisons take place. That’s 130 encounters per year.

Already, without group sex situations or other random opportunities for sex that add disproportionately to the total, we have 234 different sexual acts in a twelve month period. Multiply that out by a decade and you can see that it is very easy to reach 2340 or more individual sex acts in that ten year period, with most of those probably being one time or anonymous encounters.

Take that frequency a step further and you can see how quickly the numbers add up – 20 years (4,680), 30 years (7,020), 40 years (9,360) and 50 years 11,700. And if you think that's an exaggeration for the 50 years, let me reassure you that I know many men in their 70s and 80s who are still very active on the private sex scene as well as at the sauna/bathhouse. And remember, we aren't even including any masturbation in our scenario.

What does this means to any male who has a man-to-man sexual moment?

- chances are your partner is probably far more experienced in sexual activity than he might admit to

- that your new trick’s mouth or cock has been in a multitude of places you perhaps don’t want to know about

- such high sexual activity increases the possibility of him catching or having had or currently has, some STI (sexually transmitted infection)

- where anal sex is concerned can any man honestly say that of his 234 anal sex acts that year that he was 100% condom wise especially now that the use of the PrEP tablet is so widely used and bareback sex is so universally expected

Therefore, if you’re a married or otherwise partnered straight man then you need to be aware that every sexual encounter you have with a gay man has the probability of being someone who is at the higher end of the promiscuous scale. These gay men who are out having heaps of anonymous and one-off sexual encounters are doing so because that is their current lifestyle. If they met a new partner or concentrated on only playing with one or two fuck buddies, then the anonymous sexual hit rate would be somewhat lower.

Images courtesy Tumblr

Where do you stand in this scenario?

- Are you envious of all that sexual activity?

- Are you aware that many of these men are moving constantly from man to man in order to relieve the loneliness in their lives?

- Are you one of these so-called promiscuous men who is proud of the variety of interesting men that you have been able to meet and play with?

- Do you feel daunted that many gay men will be far more experienced than you are and therefore might see your inexperience as a negative strike against you playing together?

- Do you not give any thought to your new sexual partner's previous experiences – he's simply “Mr. Right Now“ and you're happy to get your rocks off without delay?

Answering these questions will tell you a lot about how you see yourself, both as a worthy sexual partner, and as a self-image of where you see yourself in the world of sexuality.

Personally, “notches on a belt“ are of little importance to me. We've ALL been that hesitant first-timer with fears, premature ejaculations and tongue-tied conversation.

After that it's all about how we then use that experience to advance our sexuality. Which kinky path we find most satisfying, the tribe of men that we feel most at home celebrating with, or the return to strict heterosexuality after our initial forays raised too much guilt and fear. We are, after all, sexual animals, and we constantly make decisions - good or bad - on the basis of that.

What's my attitude?

As for me, I'm just impressed that my penis continues to lead me to new and satisfying experiences, and continues to work its magic whenever I want it to. I don't see it as having a “use by date“ or wearing out through too much use. There's no spare parts or replacement shop. I have friends who jokingly tell me they follow the creed of “use it or lose it“ but for me, happiness is in the number one – the man standing naked before me who has set my desire on fire and who totally consumes my interest.

His previous experiences total and my previous experiences total do not enter this moment. We are simply two horny men sharing a delightful new moment of masculine sexuality.

So be it that tomorrow we look back and realise that we have added another notch to each others sexual belt. But for now it's a matter of love and lust – pure and simple. No curriculum vitae, no scoreboard required.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Masturbating for Prostate Health

2019-06-27T16:35:00.000+10:00

Photos and images courtesy of Tumblr

Wanking, cumming, climax, discharge, emission, orgasm – they're all words that help define the act of ejaculation.

It's the wonderful relief following a build-up during penetrative sex, or from beating the meat, spanking the monkey, jacking off, jerking the gherkin or simply playing with yourself.

A question we're all curious about is how many times a week/month do other guys shoot a load. The answer to that of course very much depends on the individual's circumstances - his age, the other sex he's getting, his health, his libido, and his ability to find the place and time.

Of immediate interest to me was the question of any health benefits from the level of frequency.

As a result of my curiosity I came across some research from Harvard University that suggests an ejaculation rate of at least 21 times a month will significantly reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men over 40 years of age compared with men who only ejaculate up to 7 times over a month.

And this is irrespective of how that ejaculation occurs (that is, by masturbation or by sexual activity).

This study analyzed nearly 32,000 men over an 18-year period, between 1992 and 2010. Although some 10% of the men in the study were diagnosed with prostate cancer during that period the figures indicated that those who ejaculated the most were less effected.

These figures are simply statistics, observations, so one is left to suggest their own conclusions.

Could there be a connection to some flushing mechanism that clears the passages of infection or other potential cancer causing debris?

Do more ejaculations lead to a higher libido and therefore a greater cleansing?

Does an ejaculatory orgasm somehow tell the body/brain that the body is healthy and perhaps even releases hormones at that time of climax?

I'm not a medical professional so I have no idea about any of these suggestions, but I do know how much we as men enjoy choking the chicken or placing our erection inside a body orifice to get that wonderful orgasmic moment. We've always known how enjoyable shooting a load is to our mental happiness but now knowing that it's also highly likely to be beneficial to our long-term prostate health it gives an added incentive to have sex or masturbate as often as we can.

In the interests of balance it should also be noted a diet that avoids obesity from high-fat junk foods, being a non smoker, and genetics can also be factors to whether prostate cancer strikes or not.

As for me, I've taken this good news to help justify my already robust ejaculatory program.

“I'm wanking for my prostate health“ could well become a catch-cry across the nation.

Reminder: Whatever your age or sexual preference, if you haven't recently been medically checked for symptoms of prostate cancer do make an immediate appointment. It may be a simple blood test and/or a digital examination. You've probably already had a finger up your backside during sex, so forget any embarrassing thoughts about a professional medical person doing it. It is vital that this silent killer in our midst is eradicated, so please pick up the phone right now and make that appointment. I've known far too many men who had their sex lives devastated because the cancer wasn't caught early.

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A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

On-Demand PrEP: An Alternative To A Daily Tablet

2019-05-21T15:14:00.002+10:00

PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis with Truvada being the most common tablet of choice) is emerging as the medical answer to ending HIV transmission between men who have sex with men. A single tablet a day maintains immunity.

However, a major long-term side effect can be with kidney and liver functions as well as with bone density. Older men are particularly prone to issues with the latter – and I'm one of them.

I've always been a sexually active man and that continues today. After 35 years of strict condom use I saw PrEP as allowing me the freedom to once again enjoy bareback, unprotected sex with men. Of course, this meant I would be exposing myself to any potential STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) that my chosen partner might be carrying, but that was a manageable risk I was willing to take. My thinking was that the occasional STI would be a short-term and easily treatable annoyance, whereas HIV would be for life.

After the obligatory blood tests checking for sexual infections proved that I was STI free, my doctor was happy to prescribe PrEP. Almost as a passing thought he decided to also send me for a bone density scan. He informed me that the latest research indicates that I could have between 2 and 4% of my bone density leached within a year or so if I took PrEP each day.

The result: As I tested in the osteoporosis spectrum I was immediately taken off the daily PrEP.

My disappointment was immediate and profound.

But then came the compromise – On-Demand PrEP (or PrEP On Demand as some call it).

I was told that when I knew in advance that bareback unprotected anal sex was likely, that I could take 2 PrEP tablets between 24 and 2 hours before the event, and when my sexual binge had finished, to take a single tablet each day for the next two days. That would still protect me from contracting HIV.

That to me was like a gift from the gay gods. That meant that I could indulge in say, a group sex event where multiple acts of anal intercourse would happen, and still go home without any worry in my mind. Sure, there could be an STI showing up later, but at least for the immediate few days I had that peace of mind – in itself, a wonderfully liberating gift.

For promiscuous men, the frequency of group sex at sauna/bathhouses, special group sex events and sex with anonymous individual men might mean that those four tablets could quickly almost reach the level of what a single one-a-day regime would equal, hence no particular advantage for On-Demand PrEP – and still not helping with the bone density issues.

As for me, condoms will need to continue to be my primary source of prevention. Now that I'm over the disappointment and having seen the sexual freedom dream disappear, then this compromise doesn't upset me as it simply means a continuation of what I've already practised for three and a half decades of safe sex. However, On-Demand PrEP does now give me occasions to safely play as naked and as bare as I desire and still go home with that all-important peace of mind. It's the best of both worlds.

And of course, I'm now actively seeking ways to add calcium to my diet so that I can at least maintain my current bone density levels, if not improve them.

For sexually active men in my situation, On-Demand Prep may well prove to be a viable alternative answer to having the freedom of natural sex without unwanted reactions elsewhere in the body. It's worth having a chat with your medical practitioner.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

Group Masturbation: Different Ways to Play

2019-04-07T16:13:00.001+10:00

Masturbation involving you with others can be divided into at least four possibilities. Each will give a different emotional outcome, so what end result, other than the obvious physical spillage, are you hoping for?

With A Friend:

This is the excitement that comes early in discovering M2M playtime. It's a lot about initial exploring of what another cock feels like to touch. There is that thrill of finding a like-minded playmate who'll happily let you sit beside him, trousers and jocks at his knees, and perhaps while you both distract yourselves by watching porn, it is simply two straight men having a lot of fun without any overtones of suggesting that this activity is in any way “gay“.

Jackoff Group:

Photos courtesy of Tumblr

You want more than one man's hand jerking you off, so you seek out an organized j/o group of maybe 10 -50 guys. Many will be married, some will be gay or bi, but all just want the non-threatening companionship of other “straight“ or M2M sexually exploring men. Many of the participants are uneasy about or are not looking for, anal sex. Some like the total nudity factor. It's also a lot about conversation, touch, the variety of ages and body types available, of having sexual fun while perhaps still justifying it by saying to oneself that it's “not proper sex“, so therefore I'm not committing adultery in any shape or form. Perhaps jacking off, (even with the hands of other men), can also be justified as just another part of their otherwise heterosexual sex lives. These groups are usually strong on the social aspects of men sharing a fun sexual experience in a safe environment and are good for bonding, knowing that as a married man who likes masturbating, you need not be lonely and do it on your own. Spontaenous groups of men who are seeking group masturbation can also happen at gay nude beaches, backrooms of sex shops, gay bathhouses/saunas, nightclubs and dance parties, doing the beat and wherever there's some privacy, no matter how temporary that might be.

Here's a link to finding such a group anywhere in the world: https://nyjacks.com/links

'Baters:

These men focus on group masturbation as a primary part of their sexual lives – sometimes exclusively, sometimes not. It's not just a matter of getting your rocks off – it's an art form, where cock-worship (your own or of others) can bring additional pleasures. Touching, stroking, multiple edging towards orgasm but always pulling back, saving the climax for the end of the group. It's also not always necessary or expected, to cum at all, but rather hold in the energy of the seed as expressed in tantric philosophy. It can also become a sexual way of life with 'baters actively seeking out fellow afficionado's who understand the deep satisfaction that can be achieved. Sometimes a small group of men are involved together, sometimes this is a special bonding with just a couple of friends. It's a philosophy that is treated very seriously by the practitioners, where masturbation and the climax of cumming is raised to an art form.

Internet Video Link:

Who hasn't jacked off in front of the computer while other guys, maybe on the other side of the world, are watching via a video link? Naturally there is no physical contact, yet there's the undeniable thrill of us doing something a bit decadent and being watched doing it. Like all aspects of masturbation, especially for us older men, there is still a little part of us that knows that it's a guilty pleasure, possibly something a little bit “dirty“, something our mother's wouldn't approve of. We shouldn't have such feelings, but the trouble is, we do and that's a hangover from repressive childhoods dominated by ignorance, religion and conservative attitudes. It's also something that we can privately participate in yet have the feeling that we're sharing with other like-minded men.

Masturbation is as natural as breathing and as enjoyable as food. It adds immeasurably to our happiness whether we do it by ourselves, with a friend or as part of a bigger group. Just be aware of what emotional satisfaction you're looking for.

By my reckoning, a daily wank between the ages of 15 and 60 years of age, totals up to a staggering 16,425 climaxes. Even at once a week, it stills adds up to 2,340 ejaculations. In my thinking, that's one good amount of pleasure!!! But excuse me, in the absence of other naked guys within ready reach, I think I feel yet another solitary pleasure moment fast approaching…

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI
"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews

Consent: “Stealthing“ – Sexual Assault by Secretly Removing a Condom During Sex

2019-03-03T17:26:00.001+11:00

Whatever type of sex we are having, whether that be male/male or male/female, paid or unpaid, it's of the highest importance that it is consenting sex. Consenting not only as to what will be shared between the participants, but also how that will be achieved.

I recently spoke to a married man who was highly concerned that he'd been "stealthed". That is, even though he gave consent to be penetrated by his anonymous bathhouse/sauna partner so long as that partner used a condom, he realized late in the action that he had been grossly violated by that man, who had secretly slipped off the condom during sex. Only when the partner began cumming inside of him (another thing that had not been discussed, even momentarily) did my distressed informant know that he was being used as just another piece of sexual meat by the top.

When confronted by the bottom man, the perpetrator simply shrugged his shoulders and said “so what. Since Prep everyone is doing all their fucking bareback. It's no big deal. I'm clean.“

My friend was not amused, pointing out that the guy had broken their agreement to have sex only with a condom, and there had been no discussion about giving him a cream-pie deep inside of him.

“You're a fuckin' selfish prick,“ was the words he said he used. “Don't you have any respect for the guys you fuck?

And therein lie two of the issues that so many men seemingly ignore. (There's also the legality of the action).

Selfishness - and lack of respect for others.

(1) Selfishness – as men, when we're horny, there is that insatiable desire to want to get our rocks off, and as soon as possible. Our day won't move on as successfully without firstly dumping a load. Masturbation, pick-up a guy off social media or head off for a quick visit to an all-male bathhouse/sauna. Even as we look at the meat-rack of potential partners inside that sex-on-premises location, it's all about us – what we want to sexually achieve, what sexual activity will make us happy. That's not necessarily a bad thing as we decide on our choice, but that choice of man then needs to be tempered with what that man wants as his choice.

(2) Respect – when we meet an anonymous man in order to have sex together, we can assume nothing about the life or experiences of the other one. At sex-on-premises locations conversation is generally in short supply. We make eye contact, we agree to have sex in a nearby cubicle and then we continue that sex until such time as intercourse is imminent. It seems to me, that in the height of passion, that's when so many begin to negotiate the terms and conditions of what will then take place.

Sex then takes one of two courses – the stronger/more active partner assumes that whatever he wants, you will also want. He begins to lube you and without any further discussion he begins to penetrate you. It's only if you then object to the lack of condom, that dialogue will take place. At this point he has shown no respect for you and your wishes.

For whatever reasons, you tell him that he has to put on that condom before re-entering you. For at that moment, you are respecting you. It's your body, your peace-of-mind, your method of staying healthy. If he doesn't then you should be strong enough to walk away from the encounter. If he does, then you rightly assume that the respect between the two of you has been established. Then, to be sure, you should be the one to roll it onto his erection. That gives you an even stronger peace-of-mind feeling. And in he goes. You begin to drift into the moment without having to reach around every so often just to check that he's still got it on. You don't even blink when the erection “slips out“ for a moment or two as it's soon back in giving you that deep pleasure that you're there for. As he builds momentum with his long strokes you might even silently acknowledge that condoms don't feel so bad after-all. You're deep in the moment and getting fucked is what it's all about.

Then you hear those fateful words “I'm cumming“ and you slightly acknowledge that you want to feel his full hard thrusting continue to climax as he's going to be shooting into the safety of the condom. Without another word he releases his juices and you realise that it's not going into a latex container, but rather shooting bare, deep into your arse. You're suddenly very alert knowing that somehow, and without your knowledge, the condom has been removed and you've been internally creampied by this anonymous creep.

And that's exactly the scenario my straight married informant told to me. What he also told me was the urgency to immediately try to pass out as much of the juice as he could. But it was the agony of the days that followed that created his greatest anxiety. He justified that from his internet searches there was little probability of HIV transference, though it was still a possibility. As part of his work time he had to locate an independent sexual health clinic to get tested without anyone knowing about it. And 24/7 he silently carried the guilt of allowing it to happen as well as the angst against himself for being so stupid and gullible.

These were burdens that he didn't need in his life and all because he trusted what he thought was a trustworthy, like-minded man who also enjoyed sex with other men. He had been taken advantage of and in the eyes of the law in parts of the western world, he had been raped. The verbal contract that he had established with his anonymous lover for anal sex with a condom, had been deliberately violated from the moment the lover slipped off the condom and continued intercourse without it. He had been betrayed!

If condom use is a priority for your casual sex life (especially for the safety from sexual transmitted infections), then it's very important that it's use is negotiated at the earliest opportunity of any encounter – perhaps even before you enter the privacy of a cubicle, and certainly before you reach his house if you're meeting off a dating app. It's important that you check throughout the encounter that's it is still on your partner. If it's not, you should then stop the encounter, walk away and if possible, draw the matter to the attention of the bathhouse/sauna management.

Law enforcement will vary from state to state and country to country, but you may be very surprised to learn, especially if the man concerned is HIV positive, that there may be a law about recklessly endangering other people's lives through intercourse without a condom. Put simply, with or without a HIV aspect, it's sexual assault. And it is unconscionable conduct that we shouldn't allow to go unrecognized, discussed or acted upon.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.

A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man

THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Peter-Benn/dp/1481099671

For a plain cover unidentifiable eBook edition go to: http://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews

The Cock Cam – A Penis-Eye View for Capturing Sexual Action

2019-02-05T16:37:00.000+11:00

When I was writing my book The Secret Life of Tinderfella (Peter Benn – Amazon) I had to frequently use my imagination and my memory as to what it would be like to be a penis at the very forefront of various sexual activities between both women and men.

We can all get close to titillating appendages and orifices as we play sexually, but when intercourse occurs, as men, our eyes are somewhat distanced away from the centre of the action when fucking the one we're with. If we're in a threesome or moresome, then the non-active participant (if there is one) can get in very close to see the in/out thrusting action happening. But it's that thought about what exactly is happening down there at the tip of my penis that excites me. I'd love to see a close-up of it penetrating my partner's anus or vagina – and chances are, they'd be equally fascinated to see exactly what is happening to them.

Wouldn't it therefore be great to have a camera on your dick and record all the action from the penis point-of-view for later playback. Well, now you can!

It's called The Cock Cam and as the manufacture suggests, it's “your ultimate selfie-stick“.

Shaped like an upright double stretchy silicone cock ring – the upper level contains the High Def micro camera with the lower level to place your cock through and hold firmly at the base of your penis. It also acts as a normal cock-ring and helps keep you nice and hard.

Other features include night vision, records in MP4 with 32GB storage, records both sound and vision, the ability to record on a mobile device via wi-fi or on a micro SD card up to about 100 minutes – and through an app, you can also stream to other devices.

It can also fit onto dildos, strap-ons and other sex toys. And you are not limited to just penetrative action – it can be used to record your whole session with the camera out of its mount. Get ultra close-ups right across the action. And let's be honest, how many bottoms have wondered about what's going on back there as our partner begins to open us up and slip his cock into us. Well, now we can see it all, thanks to this great little camera.

Do you enjoy sling action? Then simply attach the whole device to a metal part of the sling stand, aim and start recording.

See the enjoyment in your partner's face as he chows down on your cock for a great blowjob. Then record your jizz action as it spurts. From your video footage you'll be able to capture that elusive still photo shot of cum gushing out like champagne popping that we all admire on the porn sites.

Leave it on as you walk around the house, dance your favourite moves or perform watersports on your partner. You add to the list of fun ideas.

When you've had sex in the dark or you were too drunk to remember a lot, play back the next morning and see what really happened – all in HD quality. The night vision facility offers that opportunity.

This seems to me to be the ideal new toy to put the extra zing into your sexual relationships. It's made for fun. But don't forget to get consent from your partner(s) before filming a session.

What a great gift for him, her (remember, how good it is when used with a strap-on), or yourself. It's becoming more widely available across adult product sites but here are three to begin with:

Worldwide: https://www.meo.de/en/cock-rings/6149-the-cock-cam-cock-ring-with-a-camera-ref-1917-00.html

UK: https://thekinksters.co.uk/product/2250/the-cockcam.html

Australia/New Zealand: https://adultsmart.com.au/sex-toys/the-cock-cam-p53183.html

And for a full review from a user: https://www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk/the-cock-cam-cock-ring-with-a-camera.html

Note: The author provides this information as an independent service to his readers and does not receive any commission or other form of payment for it. The image used is copyright of the manufacturer.

Looking for a horny erotic read about gay sex life in Australia?

Try my ebooks - each volume contains hot self-contained stories.