Yeah, I’ve never tried it either. But that’s what I’m doing right now.

It’s almost 4am. I’m bored as fuck. I have nothing fun to talk about. Nothing cool going on in my life today. Nothing… nothing… nothing!!

Hmmm… how do I publish this entry now?

What could cause all these feelings at once?

My iPhone wouldn’t connect to the internet this morning!

I have no idea what the problem was, but for about 2 hours it wouldn’t connect to the 3G network. And I was in the middle of reading a great Twilight FanFiction story. And it didn’t even have any smut! At least, not yet.

But my fears have subsided now, as my phone it back online. Whew! That was a close one. I had to take a couple nitro to relieve the chest pain.

I’m sure there are people out there that would argue that I have crossed this path many moons ago, but I think today has put me over the edge.

I was at the store and got a pair or fingerless mittens. Why? Because they look so cute here:

Yes, I got something because I saw in in Twilight (or in this case New Moon).

I guess the next step is to fly to where they are filming the next movie and stalk the cast. Maybe get a Twilight tattoo?  I suppose I should have another child so I can name him Edward or Jasper or Emmett.

1. My youngest child will  do anything for M&M’s. this includes putting on his Elmo halloween costume that he is deathly afraid of.

2. That my oldest child has still not learned the proper candy eating technique. We all know it goes candy bars FIRST then junk candy. Not Thing 1! The first candy he picks if laffy taffy. Laffy taffy! Ewww!!!

3. That when Thing 1 won’t eat his Milky Way bars, his mother will.

4. That Milky Way bars don’t help with weight loss.

5. There are idiots out there and they are your Dr’s and nurses! I went to ACLS with a few of them.

6. That they are re-releasing Twilight the day New Moon comes out. zOMG!!!

Damn, who knew?!

About three things I was absolutely positive:

First,  I am a slacker when it comes to blogging

Second, there is a part of me – and I don’t know how potent that part might be – that wants to start blogging again

and third, that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with myself. Seriously. No one blogs unless they are an attention whore who has delusions of grandeur. And yet here I am.

So here I am. Ready to start blogging again. Because who doesn’t want to hear all the useless crap I spew?!

A few months ago I went to a meeting at Thing 1’s future school. It was a meeting about their new “dual launguage” class they are offering. They had a lot of hoops you had to jump through if you wanted to enroll your child in this class. Meetings, testing, deadlines… all very set in stone.

Well, we decied not to do the class. It was “dual” yet 90% of my son’s kinder teaching would be in spanish. 90%!!! So if he hated it and anted out, he would be behind all his regular kinder classmates. No thanks!

A month later we went to kinder round up. I noticed they pushed the dual class again to parents. Odd, since the deadlines for the testing and whatnot had passed by now. Then last week I notice the have it on the school billboard that there are dual openings. And today I get a phone call telling me about the dual program and how they have openings!

The deadlines for this program were 2 months ago. I guess no one else wants to put their kids in a class that is setting them up to be behind their peers either.

Good luck with that school board.

This is Beyonce’s live mic to her lip syncing on the Today Show. OMG!

My ears are now bleeding.

TMI ahead. Be forwarned!

I went to see a GYN for my annual and about getting an IUD put in last week. I really liked the new doctor I saw. She was very personable, which is good since she’s about to be knee deep in my crotch.

So we decided to put in the IUD that day. She went to insert it and had to clamp open my cervix. She told me to cough really hard when she went to clamp the thingy on. I did and it hurt a bit. Then the medical assistant in the room askes “why do you make them cough?”

To which my Dr replies “To disctract them from the pain”. LMAO! That shit did hurt though.

Ok, so this is “Tinted Windows”. A band composed of James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Taylor Hanson from Hanson, some guy from Fountains of Wayne and some other guy from Cheap Trick.

I swear I had to check my computer to make sure it wasn’t April 1st. What else could be to blame for this crap?

Seriously. You were in Smashing Pumpkins! What’s next? Thom Yorke in a band with Debbie Gibson and some guy from 2 Live Crew?