The Voices in Frank's Head

The Falling Bikini Top. Hollywood's Latest Publicity Stunt

2012-01-26T21:39:00.002-05:00

Whitney Port's Falling Bikini

Photos surfaced on the internet earlier this week of Whitney Port's bikini top suddenly falling off while she was in Miami. She managed to cover herself up (mostly) with her hands, revealing only a little bit of her nipples.

Of course, there just happened to be a photographer nearby when this happened - and Whitney Port just happened to be facing the camera, having covered herself up in the nick of time. Additional photos of the event, by the way, are available here on Egotastic.com.

The trend of bikini a female celebrity's bikini suddenly falling off - and a photographer happening to snap images of it - is something that I wrote about a little over a year ago when Heidi Montag had a bikini incident that seemed a bit too much like a publicity stunt. (Earlier post available here.)

Vanessa Hudgens Covers Up

Of course, Whitney Port isn't the only female celebrity to have a bikini top mysteriously fall off in recent days. Vanessa Hudgens, for example, also had a bikini top fall of while she was in Hawaii. Again, there just happened to be a photographer nearby when this "accident" happened and she just happened to be facing towards the camera.

The photos of Vanessa Hudgens and her "wardrobe malfunction" are available over on the Daily Mail here.

I've spent a certain amount of time at the beach and around swimming pools. I have to say that - unfortunately for the men of this world - it's fairly rare for a woman's bikini top to fall suddenly fall off. Usually, if it's even a little loose, she will notice it and adjust it to prevent it from slipping. As a result, it's fairly rare for a bikini top to fall off.

Think for a moment about the series of rare events that were involved in this:

The female celebrity (be it Vanessa Hudgens, Heidi Montag, Whitney Port, or whoever) has to not notice that her bikini top is falling off until it's too late;
Then she has to have the presence of mind to cover herself up - just enough to avoid a truly scandalous photo - even though she apparently didn't notice the bikini top falling off earlier;
Then there just happens to to be a photographer with a professional grade camera nearby to capture the image;
And then the female celebrity just happens to facing towards the camera at just the right moment to allow the photographer who just happened to be there to capture an image of the bikini top that just happened to fall off.

There's a lot of coincidences in there.

Heidi Montage Losses It

Also, in each of examples, the incident just happened to be somewhere outside of New York or Los Angeles where paparazzi photographers aren't as common. That's important because the fewer of them there are, the easier it is to control them - assuming, of course, that all of this is a staged event.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Of course, it's a staged publicity stunt.

And I can't even say that I blame these women for it. Women have been using their sex appeal to get what they want (in this case, more publicity) since the beginning of time. Hollywood has been using an assortment of publicity stunts like this, again, since it's earliest days. The accidental bikini top falling off stunt is simply the latest incarnation of this trend.

As far as publicity stunts go, I suppose I should give them credit for coming up with somewhat original one - even though Heidi Montag pioneered it and two different female celebrities did it within a week of one another. (By Hollywood standards, this counts as "original.")

And I will glad accept any excuse to see mostly naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens, Whitney Port, or almost any other female celebrity.

More than anything, I simply wonder who will be the next female celebrity to try this one. Personally, I'm hoping it will be Jessica Alba or Katherine Heigl. However, I fear that it might end up being Britney Spears.

Google Chrome Has Become Annoying As Hell

2012-01-24T20:01:00.001-05:00

Who was the idiot who allowed their 8 year old sister to design the latest update to Google Chrome?

This new one is batty. The extensions that I had installed have disappeared. The settings are all changed. McAfee's Site Advisor keeps returning, no matter how many times that I uninstall it.

And the thing doesn't have any actual improvements to it. It's just a contraption to keep annoying me.

I think it's time to switch back to Internet Explorer.

BP Brings the Bikini Parade

2012-01-22T21:58:00.001-05:00

Panama City Beach, Florida is preparing to beat the existing world record for the largest bikini parade during Spring Break 2012, with a little help from BP, according to the Panama City Beach Spring Break website, springbreakfunplace.com. The current world record was set at Surfers Paradise Beach of Gold Coast, Australia in October 2011, where 357 women paraded in an attempt which beat the former record of 331 women in the Cayman Islands.

Dan Rowe of the Panama City Beach Tourist Development Council hopes to beat the current record during Spring Break 2012. “It’s a way for the students to come down and participate in a fun activity,” according to Rowe. “It is good clean fun.”

The funding for the record attempt comes from a $250,000 portion of a $7 million BP marketing budget. This funding is in addition to the roughly $350,000 that has already been allocated for the Panama City Beach Spring Break Marketing Campaign.

The fact that BP is funding this, as part of their on-going effort to rebuild the tourism industry that was devastated by the BP oil spill, makes me smile. I will no doubt think about a parade of women in bikinis when I next fill up my tank at my local BP station.

Mackinaw Bridge Looks Awesome Today

2012-01-21T16:19:00.000-05:00

Web Cam Image of the Mackinaw Bridge

A photo has hit the internet, showing a view of the Mackinaw Bridge from a web cam.

That bridge is awesome to look at right now. I love how it's covered it in snow, how there's fog over the straights, and how the soft light illuminates everything just so. However, at the same time, I'm rather glad that I don't have to drive across it today.

Kristen Bell Re-Runs

2012-01-16T20:19:00.002-05:00

Kristen Bell Over and Over

I have seen Kristen Bell's Neutrogena commercial a dozen times in the past 24 hours.

Please don't get me wrong. I adore Kristen Bell. I also like Neutrogena and understand the value of repetition when it comes to advertising. However, there's a point where hearing the same thing simply becomes annoying.

To the folks at Neutrogena, if you're going to put the Kristen Bell commercial in such heavy rotation, please do television audiences across America a favor and create more than one version of it.

Update @ 8:35 p.m. - I just saw that commercial for a 13th time.

65 Chapters

2012-01-09T23:05:00.002-05:00

The novel version of The Roswell Chronicles has 65 chapters currently. They're short chapters, but there are 65 of them.

Why am I tempted to add 4 more?

Oh, yeah - that's right - because I'm a pervert.

"Pan Am" Returns - And Asks If You Want to Know a Secret

2012-01-07T13:17:00.001-05:00

Pan Am returns to ABC tomorrow night - and I am really looking forward to it. This show has really found its footing. When I first said that the show was an Emmy contender, people thought I was nuts. They said it would be lucky to avoid cancellation.

But now Pan Am is back for a full season and an Emmy nomination doesn't seem all that far fetched anymore. My prediction is that it will almost certainly get nominations for art direction and costume design. Writing and acting nominations are a distinct possibility as well in my opinion.

If you haven't already checked out Pan Am, I highly recommend it. In the meantime, I give you a short video clip featuring "Do You Want to Know a Secret?" by Nikki Jean.

Obamacare Woman Destroys America

2012-01-05T23:06:00.000-05:00

The image above of the ObamaCare woman has been circulating across the interwebs. Quite frankly, I am mad as hell right now.

This woman is destroying America. Why couldn't she just get a second job at a local strip club if she really needed money for this so-called "operation"?

That, after all, is what a good, honest, hard-working American would do.

Gold is the New Dot-Com

2012-01-05T13:23:00.000-05:00

History has a funny way of repeating itself. In the mid- to late-1990s, was we saw the Dot-com Bubble with internet companies with stock valuations that simply could not be justified by their fundamentals. I believe that we are seeing the same thing today with gold prices.

From 1973 - 2005, gold traded in the $200 - $300 price range on a fairly consistent basis. In 2005, it began its surge upwards, with the real momentum beginning in 2009.

Gold is currently trading at more than $1,600 per ounce, which is roughly 4.5 times its historic norms. Things are far from ideal in our economy or political sphere. However, there is simply no economic rationale for gold any higher than $700 - and even $700 per ounce is pushing it, in my opinion.

I'm not ready to start shorting gold yet. I believe it will likely stay in the $1,600 - $1,700 price range for the next few months as various problems work themselves out, most notably Europe's debt crisis. However, I believe that gold is headed for a major correction in months ahead.

And when one looks at far this has to drop, I believe it's going to be a painful drop for a lot of people.

It's 1999 all over again. Gold is the new dot com.

I Don't Believe Myself Sometimes

2012-01-04T15:28:00.000-05:00

There are moments where things come out of my mind that I simply do not believe. This afternoon was the latest example.

A female friend of mine posted on Facebook that was now in her fourth day of dealing with laryngitis. A discuss thus ensued among some of the women about what it must be like for her to communicate with her husband and how he must be responding to this.

I then chimed in to say:

Think of this as a learning exercise. Instead of using your voice to communicate with your husband, use your boobs instead. Once you've mastered this technique, I'm sure you'll find that he listens to you much more.
P.S. Sandwiches often work as well.

It shocks me how utterly obnoxious I can be at times. Granted, everything is my comment is 100% true, but I can still be utterly obnoxious at times.

Memo to Congressman Ron Paul

2012-01-03T23:20:00.001-05:00

Memo to Congressman Ron Paul: If you are going to claim that you support the Constitution then you cannot have military personnel in uniform give political speeches.

"Roswell Chronicles" Goes Back to the Slush Pile

2012-01-03T20:11:00.000-05:00

In other news, I sent the novel version of The Roswell Chronicles out to another prospective publisher this afternoon. More agents and publishers will follow.

Thankfully, I am going to be so busy for the next couple of months that I won't have time to worry about rejection letters.

Hope Dworaczyk Makes Bora Bora Look Even Better

2012-01-03T11:05:00.001-05:00

Playboy model Hope Dworaczyk posted a photo of herself on vacation in Bora Bora, Tahiti. As attractive as Bora Bora normally looks, she makes it look even better.

Hope Dworaczyk on WhoSay

Quite frankly, if I worked for Tahiti Tourisme, I'd hand Hope Dworaczyk a promotional contract before she gets a chance to leave the island. She could do a lot to promote tourism there.

I would also re-shoot the photo of Hope Dworaczyk above and use it in all of their promotional materials for Bora Bora. I wouldn't make any big changes to it, just a few tweaks like bringing in reflectors to knock down some of the shadows on her back and smooth out her bikini bottom.

My Thought for Christmas Day

2011-12-25T14:55:00.001-05:00

When Santa Claus brings you coal, you may as well have a bar-barque.

This, my friends, is the up-side to being on Santa's "Naughty List" every year.

Merry Christmas Everyone

2011-12-25T12:59:00.001-05:00

I want to take a moment to wish a very merry Christmas to everyone who takes the time to read my blog. I enjoy being a small part of your life and look forward to more in 2012.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Big Trouble for Speaker Boehner

2011-12-21T11:15:00.001-05:00

Only 11 more days until Speaker John Boehner causes a tax hike for every working American. With an 11% approval rating, how will he be able to afford his spray on tan once he's voted out of office?

Courtney Stodden Makes Her Case for Nice List

2011-12-20T11:23:00.001-05:00

Courtney Stodden Looks Both Naughty and Nice

Courtney Stodden posed for a series of photos with her husband, Doug Hutchinson, which almost make one forget that she is only 17 years old and her husband is 51. She looks quite naughty in her metallic red bikini. Her husband is almost completely hidden by the Santa Claus costume.

Yes, I almost forgot about the 34 year age difference between Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson.

Almost.

One can see more of Courtney Stodden's photos with husband Doug Hutchinson here.

Every Time a Bell Rings...

2011-12-19T13:40:00.000-05:00

It's a little known fact that every time you hear a bell ring, it means that another 19 year old single mom has learned to pole dance.

Knowledge, my friends, is power.

Are You SURE Lindsay Lohan is Only 25 Years Old?

2011-12-09T20:36:00.001-05:00

Lindsay Lohan - 40+

Lindsay Lohan's photo shoot with Playboy has found its way on-line. She was supposedly trying to recreate Marilyn Monroe's last known photo shoot. Someone told her that this would revive her career. Unfortunately, no one told her to look in the mirror.

Looking at this woman in the Playboy photos, I can't believe that she's only 25 years old. If I didn't know better, I would swear that Lindsay Lohan was in her 40s.

The calender says Lindsay Lohan is only 25 years old, but the Playboy photos say she is at least 40.

An Amazing "Drummer Boy"

2011-12-09T18:02:00.001-05:00

I am falling in love with Sean Quigley's version Little Drummer Boy. It has a strong rock and roll influence, but maintains the timeless quality of the original carol.

I'm amazed that this video was created by a 16 year old high school student from Winnipeg, Canada.

Herman Cain Won't Give Anymore Gifts

2011-12-03T14:25:00.001-05:00

Herman Cain has suspended his campaign for the White House. However, I'm sure that we will hear a lot more from in the months to follow and, for this, I am thankful.

The man makes Christmas come every day for liberals.

Syfy Releases 3 Special Holiday Episodes

2011-11-30T21:52:00.001-05:00

The folks at Syfy have release all-new sneak peeks for the upcoming Holiday Episodes for Eureka, Warehouse 13, and Haven premiering next Tuesday, December 6.

In Eureka, Jack and Jo find themselves lost on their way to the photon generator and appear to run into the nature-loving Taggart, who has transformed into a polar bear living in an ice cave. Hospitable Taggart quickly offers penguin tartar when not before long, Jack gets nauseated at the sight and runs off looking for Andy.

In the Warehouse 13 sneak peek, Pete is seen reaching high on the shelves to put back Rudolph's nose, when suddenly he falls on the slippery snow on the ground, taking down several other pieces with him. He returns these items back onto the shelf and heads back inside. Upon entering he notices two investigators and quickly asks Pete to show his hands. Taking it as a prank from Artie, Pete tells him to come out but instead we see MacPherson appear and claim he hasn't worked there for years.

On Haven, Audrey is wondering why everyone seems to think it's Christmas Eve and is confused by the Santa locked up in the cell block. Santa asks Audrey if she'd like to sit on his lap, which sparks a nerve and Audrey goes after him but soon realizes that its Duke under the costume. It appears that Nathan and team were helping to get Audrey into the Holiday spirit though she's still unsure as to why now, considering its July!

Eureka - Airs Tuesday, December 6th @ 8/7c

Warehouse 13 - Airs Tuesday, December 6th @ 9/8c

Haven - Airs Tuesday, December 6th @ 10/9c

First Lingerie Football, Now a Topless Basketball League?

2011-11-30T21:05:00.001-05:00

A group of nightclub owners got together in the midst of the NBA lockout and decided a topless basketball league would be a great idea to keep interest up in the sport since there probably wasn’t going to be a season, according to the Courier Mail.

I would like to take a moment to say that I love America.

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show - Another Outstanding Show

2011-11-29T23:01:00.001-05:00

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show just finished its annual telecast for 2011. It was another outstanding telecast. They refer to it as "the sexiest hour of television" and it certainly lived up to its billing.

The outfits were amazing and sexy.

The musical performances by Kanye West, Maroon 5, and Nicki Minaj were each top-notched as well.

All of it added up to fantastic television.

Personally, I would have liked to have seen less "behind the scenes" footage and more of the show itself. (In my opinion, "behind the scenes" stuff is better for the internet.) However, I have come to accept that I am in the minority opinion on that one.

Pan Am Is NOT Canceled

2011-11-29T22:46:00.001-05:00

Pan Am - Continuing for a Full Season

Karine Vanesse, one of the stars of ABC's new drama Pan Am, tweeted earlier today that the show had been cancelled. ABC, however, was quick to announce that it had not been canceled.

And now, it was announced on the Pan Am Facebook page that the show will continue for a full season.

I don't know the source of this confusion. However, I 'm thrilled that this show will continue. It has a lot of potential, in my opinion, and is really starting to get good.