The W Report

Thoughts on Amazon's New Kindle Fire Tablet

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 02:37:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, Amazon took the wrapping of its new and much discussed tablet. The new Amazon Kindle Fire tablet has been called an iPad-killer by some, but I have my doubts. Granted I have not actually used it yet (it will not be shipped until November 15), but I've read enough to form my own conclusions.

Operating System

One of my biggest concerns is the operating system. Amazon took the Android operating system and created their own version or fork. This creates two problems for me. One, Amazon's fork is not based on the latest version of Android (3.2.1). (Android 4.0 has just been released.) Instead, the fork is based on version 2.3. This seems to indicate to me that the Fire will not have all of the latest features you can with other Android based tablets. It almost seems that Amazon is handicapping itself before it even enters the ring.

The second concern that I have about the operating system is the apps store. Unlike other Android tablets, which use the official Android Market to purchase apps, to get apps for the Fire you have to go to the Amazon Appstore. There are not as many apps available in the Appstore than the Market and I did not see any apps written by Google. This makes me wonder if apps for the Fire need to be written differently than regular Android apps.

Browser

When Amazon modified the operating system, they also included their own web browser, which they call Silk. While it is based on Webkit, like the regular Android browser, it works like Opera Mini. When you request a page with the Silk browsers, it divides the work between the tablet and Amazon's servers. This means that besides your ISP knowing what you surf, Amazon knows (for their ad database). From what I read, even the government has questions about the security ramifications. Thankfully, it sounds like you can turn this feature off and render everything on the tablet.

Hardware

I don't know too much about the CPU in the Fire, so I won't comment on it (except that it is made by Texas Instrument, a company that is known for its calculators). There are a couple of things that bother me about the hardware configuration. There's no camera and no microphone. For me, this is a deal breaker. Every mobile device available has a camera and a microphone. The lack of both just makes it stand out from the pack, but not in a good way. Also, the Fire's screen is 7 inches, while most of the others are several inches larger. The one thing

Final Thoughts

Amazon is making an effort to make a splash in the tablet market. With a price that is $100 less that the iPad, they will do just that. (Interestingly, Apple received a couple sample of a 7 inch "iPad mini". So far this is just a rumor. The late Steve Jobs said that 10 inches was the minimum size, but you never know. If the market demands it, they will probably make it.) To me, it almost seems like the Fire is more of a beta, than a finished project. It may seem like a great deal for some, but I'd wait for the next version and hope they get around to adding a microphone and camera. Time will tell.

Video Games Companies Look for a Bigger Piece of the Pie

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 02:04:00 +0000

Gamespot reported back in September that the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals made a decisions that could hurt many video game owner and retailers.
The article stated:

The court overturned a May 2008 decision by the US District Court for the Western District of Washington in the case of Vernor v. Autodesk. The original decision stated that Washington resident Timothy Vernor was within his rights to sell a sealed copy of Autodesk's AutoCAD design software he got at a garage sale on eBay.
Though the copy of the software was sealed, Autodesk's EULA--which was not visible externally on the retail box--said that the software is only licensed to purchasers, not actually sold. It also said that the license cannot be transferred, so after purchase, the software had to be destroyed if not used.

The article goes on to say:

    Tech blog Ars Technica pointed out that the EULAs used by Electronic Arts and many other publishers have similar language in their games. "This software is licensed to you, not sold," reads EA's EULA. "Access to the software requires software registration with the serial code enclosed with the software. Software registration is limited to one EA Account per serial code and is non-transferable."
   The EA EULA is for a PC game, which typically requires acceptance of such terms to play. However, comparable wording can also be found in console game manuals, such as that of Take-Two Interactive's recent hit Red Dead Redemption.
    "THIS SOFTWARE IS LICENSED, NOT SOLD," reads the license agreement on Red Dead Redemption. (Capital letters in original.) "You agree not to: (a) Commercially exploit the software; (b) Distribute, lease, sell, rent or otherwise transfer the software, or any copies of the software, without the express consent of the licensor." (Emphasis added.)

Fourth Circle of Hell - Greed from Dante's Inferno

This decision will put a big crimp in the used video game business. Selling used video games is a several billion dollar a year industry. The video game companies have always been unhappy about this loss in revenue. After all why pay $50 for a new game when you can wait and buy the same game for $20 used? This is just a move for video games companies who are making money hand over fist as it is. (For example, the latest installment of the Halo series, Halo: Reach, made $200 million on launch day.) These people don’t need the money. They are basically squeezing out retailers that sell used games, like GameStop. Even Best Buy and Target jumped on the used game bandwagon by giving in-store credit for bringing in used games. I won't be buying video games anytime soon. I want the freedom to sell my property. After all, there are many free games and flash games to fulfill my gaming needs.

How to Search Your PC Instantly

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 02:39:00 +0000

    Have you ever been in a hurry to find a file? Ten minutes minutes before the meeting and you need to find the video clip you were going to show. If you use Windows, you would pull up Windows search, type in the title, and wait for it to search through all the files on your computer. Depending on how many files that you have, this may take quite a while.
    There is a small, powerful alternative to Windows Search that will find what you are looking for in a matter of minutes. It is called Everything. This program is less than 400 kilobytes in size. It installs quickly and indexes you computer in a matter on minutes. Whenever you create an new file, the index is complete. It works on Windows 2000, XP, 2003, Vista, 2008 and 7. (Since Vista and 7 have an improved search function build into the Start Menu, it is ideal for any pre-Vista Windows OS.
    One of the drawbacks of Everything is that it only searches the file and folder names, not their contents. But if you remember a little bit of the title, you can probably find it.
    So, go ahead and use this tool. You can download Everything here: http://www.voidtools.com/.

Disqus and WordPress: A Tragedy

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 02:11:00 +0000

If you have spent any amount of time on the internet, especially if you have a blog, you have probably heard of WordPress. WordPress is one of the top blogging sites. WordPress has two arms. WordPress.com hosts blogs and WordPress.org offered blog architecture software.
Now, I’d like to introduce you to the second member of our tragedy: Disqus. Disqus is an online service that offers a centralized place for controlling blog and website commenting. It’s a one stop shopping for modifying and approving comments from many different blogs. All you have to do is register your blog or website and insert some code.
The tragedy is that I found out that even though you can insert Disqus into almost any blog or website, you cannot insert it into you blog if it is hosted on WordPress.com. (If your blog is self-hosted and running WordPress, you can imbed Disqus.) I soon realized that WordPress does not support any add-ons. This is disappointing for me because I like to add to the functionality of my blog with add-ons.
If you are like me and you would like WordPress.com to support Disqus, you can join my Facebook group here: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=124927537525907&ref=ts. I would like WordPress.com to add the ability to install add-ons and I hope they hear my plea and fix it.

Downloadable Media – the Future?

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 18:02:00 +0000

    In the video above, long-time Microsoft enemy Larry Ellison rants about how he hates Windows. He made this statement back in 1996. In effect, he was talking about our current transfer to downloadable media. While this change is inevitable, I have my own thoughts on it.
    I am very reluctant to buy a game or movie that is download only. The reason? If I don’t like the game or movie, I want to be able to get rid of it. I do this in one of two ways. I sell it or trade it. When the item is downloadable, it is impossible for me to get rid of it or at least get some of my money back. I have only bought two download only games so far. One of them was only $5, so what the heck.
    I’m more than a little bit gun shy about buying download only software for a very good reason: I’ve been burned. Several years ago, I downloaded and tried a very good download acceleration program. I liked it so much I paid $30 or so when the trial period ran out. The paid-for program worked for several weeks and then it told me that if I wanted to continue using it, I would have to buy it. After waiting some time trying to contact, I gave it up for lost.
    The video game companies do not want you to buy used games. They are losing income because of used game sales, especially in the last few months of this year. In this economy, gamers are thinking, “Why should I spend $50 on a new games when I can get it for half price if I wait a little bit.”
    Another thing about downloadable media, it has to be stored on your hard drive. There is no way I could have I have all my DVDs and games on my hard drive. Then again, the prices of external hard drives are falling at a pretty fast rate. You can get a 1 terabyte drive for about $100. This could store quite a few games and movies
    Think economical. Buy used games and DVDs.
   Comment below if you have had similar trouble with download-only media.

Does Open Source Security Make Sense?

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 02:46:00 +0000

I have been thinking about open source software lately, especially security software, and I thought I would share my thoughts with you.

First of all, let’s define what open source means. Open source is the idea in technology, especially software, that says everyone should be able to see the source material used to create it. This means that if a program is written and distributed as open source, anyone can get a hold of the source code that makes it run. The idea behind this is that people can take this freely available source material and either build upon it to create their own program or merely improve the existing program.

Okay, now let’s take a look at what open source means for your computer’s security, primarily anti-virus. If the source code for an anti-virus program is available, it would be child’s play for a dedicated virus creator, who wants to create havoc, to acquire that code and use it to discover and exploit weaknesses in it. To me, the whole idea seems seem akin to building a wall around your castle to protect you from an outside enemy and then posting the blueprints for that selfsame wall, complete with all the secret passages and weak points marked, where any invader can easily access them.

I think the majority of people would and do agree with me on this. Why? Because almost all of the anti-virus programs on the market are close source, meaning only the company that created it has access to the code that makes it run. Think about it. The top anti-virus companies, Norton, McAfee, Panda, Trends Micro and Avira, all keep the source code for their programs under wraps, probably because they understand the risks.

In fact, there are very few open source. One of the best known is ClamAV. However, I’m not sure how long this will continue. It appears that a company called Sourcefire has acquired the trademarks and copyrights to ClamAV, so that may change too.

In closing, don’t trust the security of your computer to a company who posts the blueprint of your castle for all to see. You might just get bit.

Please feel free to comment.

Tutorial: Creating and Burning an Image File

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:16:00 +0000

Creating an image file is the best way to copy and backup discs. (I am talking about discs that you have legal right to copy.") Here is a quick run through of how to create and burn an image file.

The first thing you need to do is download a good disc burning software. The best I know of it call ImgBurn. You can find and download it here: http://www.imgburn.com/.

Once you have downloaded and installed ImgBurn, open up the program either from the Start Menu or Desktop. Once it comes up, it will look a little intimidating for a first timer, but after using it a little while you will get a handle on it.

To start creating an image file, put the disc to be copied in you computer and click “Create image file from disc”.

Once the new screen comes up, check the contents of the “Destination” section to make sure the image file will go where you want it. (Ideally, you should put it on your C drive in a file names “image files.") Be sure to check and make sure that you have enough space on your C drive to do this. The size of the image file is on the right under “size”.

Once you have made sure that you have enough space, click large button on the lower left of the top window. The copy process will now start.

When it is finished, it will play a tune to let you know.

Now to burn the image file to a disc. Click “OK”. Now click “Mode” and select “Ez-Mode Picker”. This will return you to the main screen.

Now click “Write image to disc”.

In the new window, select the image file by click the file under the “Source” section.

Select and open the image. Insert the appropriate disc (CD or DVD) and click the button in the lower left of the top screen. (Make sure that “Verify” has been selected under “Destination”. This will ensure that you copy is correct." If it ejects that disc and pulls it back in, don’t worry. It is verifying the disc.)

Congratulations! You have finished burning the disc. To create another, click “OK” and click the burn button again after putting in a new disc or you can set how many disc you want to make.

If you have any questions, please leave a comment below.

Safari Now Has Extensions!!!

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:37:00 +0000

Yesterday at Apple’s annual Worldwide Developers Conference, Steve Jobs made several announcements, among them was Safari 5. While this seems small to most in comparison to the release of the iPhone 4G and other stuff, it is a big deal because it heralds a feature that Safari has been lacking and lagging behind the rest of the browsers. The big new feature is extensions. You can download the new version of Safari for Windows here.

Here is how to activate the extensions feature. After you have downloaded and installed Safari, click on the gear button on the top far right and click Preferences. Once the dialog box comes up, click the Advanced tab. Select the “Show Develop menu in menu bar” checkbox.

Close the Preference dialog box. Click the page picture next to the gear. For the menu click “Develop” and then “Enable Extensions”.

You now have extensions available. To see the extensions installed, go back to the preferences dialog box and there will be a tab for “Extensions”. (The reason that the example shows an extension installed and yours probably does not is because I install it.)

This extension feature is new and experimental, like I said, so Apple does not have a list of available extensions. However, you can find a few here. There are not many available because it is so new. Let me know in the comments if how know of any other place that has extensions for Safari. Have fun exploring.

Moving the Blog

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Mon, 24 May 2010 02:20:00 +0000

I have decided to change the name of this blog. I have made this decision for several reasons. First, someone else has a W Report website. Second, I want this blog to reflect more of a tech bent, instead of mixed topics. I will announce the new name withing the next couple of weeks.

Great Deal from Seagate

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 18:56:00 +0000

Seagate has a great dealing going. They are offering an 500GB external drive for $99.99, free shipping included. That might not seem like a such a big deal, until I tell you that the drive with come with 20 films preloaded, including: GI Joe: The Rise of the Cobra, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Shooter, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and The Italian Job.
Now it really sounds like a deal. $100/20 films = $5 per film. If you are interested, you can find the link here: http://bit.ly/ahIqGF. You’d better hurry, because the sale ends 5/10/10.

Raimi and Maguire Leave Spiderman Series

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:40:00 +0000

Here are just a few thoughts that I had when I heard that Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire were leaving the Spiderman series.

Pro: I’m glad to hear that Tobey Maguire is leaving. I’ve always disliked the way that Maguire played Peter Parker. He always came off as a bit too whiney.

Con: The big problem that I see is loss of continuity. One of my favorite film series is the Lethal Weapon series. The reason I like these films is the continuity what exists because the films have all the same actors. Even Murtaugh’s children are played by the same actors and actresses for all four films. An example of a film series that is the exact opposite is the Darkman series. In the Darkman series, Liam Neeson played Peyton Westlake/Darkman. In the following two films, the character was played by a different actor.

Another downside of Raimi leaving the series is that it mean the end of Bruce Campbell cameos. They were short, but they added something fun to the film.

All this being said, I’m looking forward to see how the new Spiderman series turns out.

Dave Ramsey and Me

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 02:25:00 +0000

I want to say right off the bat that I respect Dave Ramsey for what he has down and how he has helped many people get out of debt. However, I have a bone to pick with him. Dave Ramsey and I do not see eye to eye on the subject of gold.

Dave Ramsey counsels people to invest in mutual funds. He tells them to avoid investing in gold. According to Ramsey, gold does not have a good track record. In fact, Ramsey is even in several radio ads telling people to sell all the “extra” gold they have laying around. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any “extra” gold laying around.

In my opinion, gold is the smartest investment you can make, especially today. Today, gold reach an all-time high of $1,038.65 an ounce. That is a lot of money, especially in this economy. The dollar could go away tomorrow and gold would still be this valuable.

Gold has long been seen as a standard of value. Gold has been used all through history as money and has always been a solid investment. Why should now be any different today? Should you invest in an instrument that can fluctuate drastically over time (mutual funds), especially if an economy goes south; or should you invest in a precious metal that you will always own and that will always stay valuable because supply is so limited?

Please comment.

EVONY Has to Drop Their Provocative Ads

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:45:00 +0000

Every time I go to a new website, 9 times out of 10 I see an ad from EVONY. Most of the time, these ads feature a “peasant” girl with a plunging neckline with the words “Come Play, My Lord”. I’m getting darn sick of it. I want to be able surf the web without seeing these particular ads everywhere. Even the homepage for this site has the same picture.

I can block these ads with Firefox, but the problem is that I work on about 7 or so other computers, so I still see them. On top of that, there are millions of kids exposed to this pictures as they surf for school or fun.

EVONY is using sex to sell their game. They are giving kids the wrong idea. There’s is enough of that crap on the web without them adding to it. In Gospel of Mark, Jesus said, “And whosoever shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me: it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea.” (9:41)

EVONY, if you read this, pull these ads and try something more tasteful.

Tech Disasters

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:20:00 +0000

I found these pictures all over the web. These systems are in pretty bad shape. Click each image to get a larger version.

Tech Support Problems – cont.

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:39:00 +0000

While I have problems trying to teach people how to use technology, these are stories that I have collected from the internet and have nothing to do with me.

Story 1

One day a friend of mine called me up to tell me he was thinking of buying a computer. This guy is particularly sensitive to criticism and not to exactly in the upper eschelon of the IQ range, and personally I don't think he should own a programmable VCR much less a computer, but he's a good guy, so I said "good for you." The following conversation ensued:

Him: "Well I have a couple questions though, that I thought I should ask you, cause you know about those things, right?"
Me: "Yeah, ok, what do you want to know?"
Him: "Well...what one should I buy?"
Me: "What do you want to do with it mostly? Play games, word processsing (blah blah blah)...?"

Twenty minutes later....

Him: "Well, I think probably I should get a real fast one, you know, cause I want it to go fast so I don't have to wait for the Internet."

I proceed to explain, SLOWLY, about the difference between megahertz and modem speed, which takes another twenty minutes.

Him: "So how much is this going to cost me anyway?"
Me: "It all depends on what you want. Some stuff costs more.

(Now, let me say here that at the very begining of all this I had stated that neither a monitor nor a printer would come with a computer itself, unless you went for a package deal. He was, at this point saying that he wanted to spend about $500 and that everything had to be from the same manufacturer. This was when the 550 P3 had just come out, so prices were still higher than $500 for any system you could go buy in a Circuit City, which he said he HAD to do.)

Him: "Well, you know, I just want the basic stuff, a monitor, and a printer and a scanner, and maybe a camera, plus the stuff to make cards and print photos and all that, and the stuff to take care of paying my bills, and online."
Me: "Ok, well, you need to get a system first, then think about the extras. You really need to learn the basics first. A computer with a monitor and a printer is probably going to be a minimum of $800 to $1000, if you really want them all to be from the same company."
Him: "REALLY?! Well, ok, but I probably will need two printers, so it'll be more then, huh?"
Me: "What?"
Him: "Yeah, you can do that, right, hook up two of the same printer to one computer?"
Me: "Well...NO, you can't."
Him: "But I'll need to do that!"
Me: "No, really, you won't. Why do you think that?"
Him: "Ok, wait, I know, what about two computers? Can you do that? Can you hook two computers together?"
Me: "But...why? No."
Him: "But I am going to NEED that! You can't do that for me?!"
Me: "Ok, ya know what, what the hell are you talking about?!? No one ever NEEDS to do what you are talking about doing so why do you think you need to do this?!?"
Him: "Well, when I go to print out that manuscript I'm going to write, it'll probably be like 800 pages or so, so how am I ever going to get one printer to print that much, and one computer probably can't even hold that much in one thing right?"

Inside I was going ballistic at this point, and it did boil over, especially since there is NO WAY there is 800 pages worth of anything in this guy's head, but I explained that (a) one computer can in fact "hold" that much and a whole lot more, and (b) one printer (unless it is a huge Xerox or other office type industrial machine) CAN'T hold that much paper in one shot.

I hope that none of you nice tech support people never EVER get a call from this guy, because I guarantee you it will be the worst call you ever get in your life. You guys may all have to get together and dedicate a page to him, posting only his calls, just to vent your anger. He is the cupholder guy, the NOSMOKE.EXE guy, the guy who insists he "hasn't changed anything" when he really edited his AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS to include lines like "and don't say I'm bad and an invalid," and the guy who has everything plugged in but nothing where it is supposed to be plugged in. He WILL have his powerstrip plugged into itself and will insist that it is NOT. May the force be with you all; you'll need it.

Story 2

Tech Support: "I need you to boot the computer."
Customer: (THUMP! Pause.) "No, that didn't help."

Story 3

Giving instructions on how to use Microsoft Word 7:

Me: "Type in a few words, or a test sentence."
Secretary: (skeptically) "With what?"
Me: "The keyboard."
Secretary: "The what?!?"
Me: "Keyboard. The jobbie in front of you with the keys on it."
Secretary: "Oh. That."
Me: "Yeah, it works like a typewriter."
Secretary: "I don't understand. (types a few words) "Oh! Hey! It works just like my typewriter!"
Me: "Uh-huh..."

Story 4

A teenage lad and his mother called in to our shop and approached me. The mother announced her son needed a virus killer for his computer. The Atari ST had been out a year or two, and Amiga computers were rapidly gaining popularity at the time, and both machines had viruses being passed around on floppy disks. So we asked the son which of those computers he had. He muttered to his mother again, and she announced her son had an Amstrad 464 -- which only had a built-in cassette deck and no floppy drive whatsoever. After we explained that it was the more modern computers which had floppy disk drives that got viruses, the mother calmly stated that the virus had been on his friend's new ST computer and that her son and his friend had played a few games on it. The virus had passed from the friend's computer directly to her son, and thence, later that evening, from her son to his aforementioned Amstrad 464!

Boggling, but still polite, we patiently explained that although computer viruses existed, they could not be "caught" by human beings and passed on to other computers by physical contact. The word "virus" was, we told her, slang that referred to hostile code that replicated itself when a disk was inserted into a computer, not an actual biological virus. Her son's computer probably had just gone faulty and needed a repair. Smiling smugly, and after informing us her son knew about computers (and that we didn't), they left the store to search for more computer-savvy tech support.

Google Moves into Internet TV, For Real

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Thu, 28 May 2009 03:40:00 +0000

A couple days ago, YouTube added a new feature to their homepage. This new feature was a link to a collection of movies and shows available to watch. Unlike previous postings, these shows and movies are legal and are not illegal bootleg.

I wrote a posting last year, when Google first experimented with this idea by posting full classic Star Trek episodes.

It it very easy to get to the shows and movies. Google added a link to the top of the YouTube homepage and several ads on the page.

Below I posted pictures to point out the updates and give you an idea of the shows. (Notice that I used Google Chrome in the pictures. I though it would be a fun touch to show YouTube in Google’s browser".)

I Hate Tape Drives

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Wed, 20 May 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Recently a tape drive broke down. I realized one thing: I hate tape drives. I’m not saying this to be funny, I officially hate tape drives. They are harder than hell to get working. It it hard to find drivers for, especially for Windows NT 4.0. We go through these things like crazy. The darn things keep breaking down because there are so many moving parts.

I am looking forward to the day that computer hardware does not have any moving parts. This means that they will last longer and will not have to be replaced as often. But until then, we have to suffer through … tapes drives.

Computer Horror Stories – Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 15:39:00 +0000

Story 1

I used to be a technician on the U.S.S. Ranger, an aircraft carrier, just before the Gulf War. A new commanding officer had just come on board, and, in preparation for our excursion out to Iraq, he ordered that we go through all our spaces and ensure that everything was secured in place, so that if we hit rough seas, or hit something explosive, there wouldn't be debris flying everywhere. Fairly standard routine.

About two days later, the Ranger's marine detachment called my shop and said, "Our computer is broken." So I head down to the detachment office to take a look. These PCs were the old Zenith Z-248 desktop models, secured with four zillion screws and weighing in at what seemed like half a ton. Our marines had taken the order to secure things pretty seriously, because they had done it with two half inch lag bolts. They had drilled straight through the case, the mother board, the bottom of the case, and the desk it was sitting on, to drop the lag bolts in place.

They couldn't figure out what was wrong, but they knew that it wasn't going anywhere.

Story 2

Fact: Boston Computer Museum sells chocolate bars shaped like floppy disks.

Fact: Three year old kids see daddy boot his computer using a floppy to play games.

Fact: Computers are warm inside...even some quite expensive computers.

I don't want to talk about it.

Story 3

I worked at a photo lab in New Mexico. Part of my job was outputing digital files to a film recorder. Everyone there was friendly, except for one woman who never seemed to like me. After a few months I asked my boss about it. He told me that before I got there, they had tried to train her to do the digital output. They even paid for her to go to a class to learn about computers. She was the only student in the class who managed to get a floppy stuck in the drive upside down and backwards. The teacher had to disassemble the machine to get the disk out. She told him she had to pound it with the heal of her hand to get the disk to go in. After that, the photo lab decided she probably wasn't the one for that position. She always resented the fact that I had 'her' job.

Story 4

Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, may I help you?"
Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) "Yes. Monitor is working fine but has sparks and smoke flying out back. Is ok?"
Tech Support: (blink)

Story 5

Customer: "There are smoke and flames coming from my computer."
Tech Support: "Uh, hang up, unplug the computer from the wall, and call the local fire department."
Customer: "That's not the problem. I need to know how to do a backup. Fastest possible method."

Stupid Tech Support Calls – Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:02:00 +0000

Story 1

An man purchased a laptop from me. He called about a week later and said that it would no longer boot up. He brought it in, and I discovered that sixteen nicely drilled holes were in the bottom of the case. I asked him about it, and he said the machine was too hot sitting on his lap, so he had drilled these "air holes."

"Could that be the problem?" he asked.

Story 2

One day a customer called complaining that he just received his computer, but it won't turn on. When he first pushed the power button, the screen flashed and then everything died.

I couldn't do much over the phone, so I went to the customer's office. It was plugged in, everything was hooked up ok, but, sure enough, it refused to turn on. I decided to take it back and promised to deliver a new one as soon as possible. But when I went to pick it up, I couldn't.

Fearful of thieves, the man had fired some 24 inch bolts straight through the box, through the hard drive, motherboard, everything, locking it to his desk.

"Oh," he said, "I thought it was just the TV part that was important. Will my warranty cover this?"

Story 3

Customer: "I need a new modem."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with your current modem?"
Customer: "The Internet light is not on."
Tech Support: "Did you reset your modem recently?"
Customer: "Yes I did, but what does it have to do with it?"
Tech Support: "Well, resetting the modem wipes out your configuration profile, so we just need to reconfigure it."
Customer: "Did you not hear me? The modem is broken, and I demand a replacement now!"
Tech Support: "The modem is not broken. If you are willing to, we can configure it in about 2 minutes."
Customer: "I want a new modem!"
Tech Support: "We can't replace modems over a simple reconfiguration issue. All we have to do--"

CRASH.

Customer: "Now it's broke! Replace the thing already!"
Tech Support: "Ok sir, we cannot replace a modem that you destroyed, and your modem is past warranty, so you'll have to buy a new one anyway."
Customer: "!*#$(*@#%!@&#$&*(!@#*$!@*^!@#$@" (Click.)

Story 4

While I was at college (back in the days of Archimedes computers), I often helped to teach new users the ropes while the teacher concentrated elsewhere. This one sweet girl was very new, and I didn't mind that she had no concept of the mouse, the screen, and whatnot -- she soon got good enough that I could leave her to do some task and help someone else. Pretty soon, however, she was tugging on my chair, and when I went to see what was going on, she said, "My bracelet is stuck in there."

Eh?

It was wedged into the floppy disk slot. Why? Apparently, the bracelet was annoying her when she typed, so she took it off. She found a small slot on the computer with a happy little door on it and just went ahead and shoved it in. Tech support had to rescue it by taking the thing apart.

Story 5

A customer had bought a computer from us about a year ago and a Voodoo 3 card just yesterday. He took it home and tried to install it but couldn't, so he brought them both in this morning. He ranted and raved, etc. He had reboxed the Voodoo 3, expecting a replacement, so we took the computer and the Voodoo 3 in the back and told him we would fit it for free. When we opened the box for the Voodoo 3, it was in a terrible state. The bit of metal that attaches the card to the case was taken off, and a wee heatsink had been scraped off the chip with a screwdriver. I reglued the sink and reattached the backplate. So we opened the machine, and tried to fit the card. Ack. Card is AGP, computer has exactly zero AGP slots. So we went back to the front.

Me: "Sir, your computer has no AGP slots, and this is an AGP video card."
Customer: "Yeah, but the card fit perfectly into the little white slot."
Me: "Which white slot?"
Guy: "There's five of them -- little white ones. There's a spare one."
Me: "The PCI slot? Uhh...it shouldn't...let me check."

Sure enough, if you remove the heatsink and backplate, turn the card around, and really hammer it into the only free PCI slot, it will just fit snugly next to the hard disk.

We explained that the AGP card was completely destroyed and he had voided the warranty on it by hacking away at it with a screwdriver. The usual mad customer vs. techie exchange ensued, but he eventually backed down and bought the PCI version instead...and got us to fit it.

Stupid Tech Supports Calls – Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:55:00 +0000

The following is just a few of the stupid tech support stories that I have found around the web. There are a lot of them, all funny. Enjoy!

Story 1

The place I work for charges about $100/issue for tech support.

Tech Support: "So what can I do for you?"
Customer: "I'm trying to run Live Update with Norton, and it came up to a screen with a list of updates, and it says 'Next.' What do I do?"
Tech Support: "Did you hit 'Next'?"
Customer: "Oh, it's working now."
Tech Support: "Anything else I can do for you?"
Customer: "No, that's it, thanks."

Story 2

User: "I've just unplugged my monitor from the wall in order to clean it without getting shocked. How do I plug it back in?"

I had about ten different responses flash through my mind, but as this guy was fairly high up on the food chain of management, I had to control myself. I said, "Align the pins with the hole, and push it into the socket." Satisfied, the user hung up.

Story 3

Customer: "I installed Windows 98 on my computer, and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you turn on your computer?"
Customer: "Boy, are you listening? I said it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Well, what happens when you TRY to turn it on?"
Customer: "Look, I'm not a computer person. Talk regular English, not this computer talk, ok?"
Tech Support: "Ok, let's assume your computer is turned off, and you just sat down in front of it, and want to use it. What do you do?"
Customer: "Don't talk like I'm stupid, boy. I turn it on."
Tech Support: "And then what happens?"
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "Does anything appear on your monitor? I mean, the TV part."
Customer: "The same thing I saw last time I tried."
Tech Support: "And that is what?"
Customer: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir. What is on your screen?"
Customer: "A bunch of little pictures."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the upper left corner, do you see 'My Computer'."
Customer: "No, all I see is that little red circle thing with the chunk out of it."
Tech Support: "You mean an apple?"
Customer: "I guess it kind of looks like an apple."

Then it took me fifteen minutes to convince him that he had a Mac. Even after showing him "About this Macintosh." I spent another fifteen minutes trying to convince him that Windows 98 wouldn't work on his Mac. He said it should work because Windows 98 is for PCs, and he had a PowerPC. I think he's still trying to get it to read that CD, because I never could convince him.

Story 4

A member of getacoder.com posted and asked for someone to write an operating system for him. It had to have all the features of Windows XP Professional. In return, he would be willing to pay $20 to $100.

The listing:

I need someone to program me a new OS (Operasting System) that looks different than Ms Windows XP etc. but has the same style. It does not need to run on a mac but all the other PCs. It's supposed to have a stylish look with clear edges etc. And ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE JUST A REDESIGNED WINDOWS as I'm going to sell that operating system later on. These are some important points :

It should have ALL THE FEATURES that Windows Xp Professional has. ALL the files that run on Windows XP ust also run on the BlueOrb OS. It must have a very user-friendly interface (like MS WINDOWS XP) When it gets Installed, the user needs to insert a serial number. It HAS to be HACKER SAFE! It must be quick and good looking.

Here's the listing on getacoder.com.

Kumo (Live) Search’s Homepage to be

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:02:00 +0000

A couple of days ago, I talked to you about Kumo, Microsoft’s rebranding of Live Search. Here is a picture of what the homepage will potentially look like. Cosmetically, it looks the same as Live Search, but I’m not going to make the mistake of criticizing it and regretting it later. We only see the face, what is underneath is more important. We will just have to wait and see, but I’m hoping for a Google-Killer.

Who is he?

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:05:00 +0000

Have you every heard of Doctor Who and wondered who he is? This video will clear everything up.

Hackers Zeros in on Apple

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:44:00 +0000

For many years, Windows has been the target for the majority of the hacker community. Because of this many alternative operating systems claimed that they were safer than Windows. The truth of the matter is that there are just too few people using alternative operating systems to make it worth it for hackers.

Look at it this way. About 90% of people who use computers use some version of Microsoft Windows. Apple’s Mac OS has 9.61% of the operating system. The other less than 2% is split among the many versions of Unix and Linux. Why would a hacker waste his time breaking into an operating system that .5% of people use? It’s more logical to do something that would cause the most amount of damage and open the most number of computers to pillage.

That said, hackers are either getting tired of Windows or the security is getting better because Apple has been coming under more attacks in recently. There have been several bugs that targeted Mac OS. In recent news, it has been announced that Apple’s browser, Safari, is vulnerable.

The annual hacker contest Pwn2Own is almost here. Charlie Miller, last year’s winner, said that Apple’s Safari would be “easy pickings”. He predicted that 4 people would be able to crack the browser. This does not bode well for Apple, especially in light of their recent release of Safari 4 beta. This is also bad news for Windows people who use Safari. It will give hackers a back-door into Windows.

My advice: Apple should stop boasting about the performance and features of both their operating system and browser. Instead they should hire some of these hackers to help them tighten up security in their products.

Microsoft Advertisements from India – Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:55:00 +0000

Let’s see how long we can keep this going.

Microsoft’s Second Try at Search

noreply@blogger.com (John Blood) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:02:00 +0000

Several years ago Microsoft realized that there was a computer related market that they did not dominate: search. They immediately moved to unseat the ruling and undisputed leader in search, Google. They introduced Live Search and the Windows Live suite of products to do just that.

Overall, Live search has a 8.5% market share of US searches (Jan 2009) and 1.73% international market share (Feb 2009). Not all that great.

Recently, news has come out that Microsoft will rebrand and re-release it’s search engine. The name, sources discovered, will be Kumo. In fact, Microsoft Netherlands released a screenshot. They also stated that Kumo would work with the Web Slices function in IE8. (I will comment on this at a later time.)

It will be interesting to see what actually comes out of this name change. Hopefully it goes better than Microsoft’s attempt to buy Yahoo for it’s search capabilities.