The Walkdown

POLISH PASSION

2012-01-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Thursday 3rd November 2011

Fulham 4 (Duff 5, Johnson 30, 57, Sidwell 79) Wisla Krakow 1 (Kirm 9)
20,319

Before the game, we were warned that there were going to be a lot of Wisla fans at the game, which wasn't a major surprise considering the number of Poles in this country, but nothing really prepared us for the ferocity of the support.

I was back on the track, but I was able to see most of the game as I was at the corner again. Apart from the five goals, the away support was amazing, especially in the first half. At one stage, two or three flares were set off in the Johnny Haynes Stand, causing not a little concern among the stewards, myself included, as there was quite a lot of smoke pouring from the roof of the stand. Eventually, though, it eased off, though the smell that drifted across the pitch was quite intense.

Among the fans in the Putney Stand were a number of skinheads, which didn't come as a surprise to me and, while they created a lot of noise, they didn't really pose much of a threat to public order. Actually, the stewarding of the away supporters was a little heavy handed, in my opinion, as there was an attempt to create a "sterile zone" at the end of the stand. All it seemed to do was irritate supporters who were forced to sit there.

As I am writing this a couple of months later, the game would turn out to be my last Europa League fixture, as I missed the crucial game at home to Odense in December, when Fulham crashed out on the last kick of the game. Such a shame to miss out on a possible glamour tie after having to endure teams from some of the less fashionable leagues in Europe.

LUIZ MAGIC ALL IN VAIN

2012-01-15T13:26:00.000-08:00

Sunday 23rd October 2011

Fulham 1 (Ruiz 67) Everton 3 (Drenthe 3, Saha 90, Rodwell 90+3)
25,646

The good news about today's game was that I was back in the vomitories. The bad news was that the Everton fans didn't quit live up to the reputation they earned for themselves last season when, apart from Blackpool, they were the best behaved away supporters I encountered in the Putney stand.

To be fair, the majority of them did sit down, which is always a relief with visiting fans, but some of them were a bit obnoxious compared to their counterparts last year.

Other than that, there wasn't much to report on the game, except for an excellent from Bryan Luiz in the first half, when he executed a perfect lob over goalkeeper Tim Howard from the edge of the area.

WAS THAT GREG DAVIES IN THE CROWD?

2012-01-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

Sunday 2nd October 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 6 (Johnson 2, 38, 59, Murphy (pen.) 20, Dempsey 65, Zamora 74) Queens Park Rangers 0
Attendance: 23,766

Not only was the opening derby game of the season at Craven Cottage, it was the first time Fulham had met their west London rivals since the 2000/01 season, so the police were on full alert for the first time in a while. We were told that a good deal of acrimony exists between the two sets of supporters, so we had to be prepared for the worst.

Well, from my position at the corner of the Riverside and Putney stands, their fears appeared to be a little unfounded, though the 3-0 scoreline in favour of the home side at the interval might have helped to dampen the enthusiasm of the Rangers fans. Fulham's demolition only reinforced my belief that QPR are not good enough for the Premier League and will be occupying one of the relegation berths in May.

I couldn't help noticing that there was a bloke among the Rangers fans who looked remarkably like the comedian Greg Davies, though his hair seemed too short. I haven't seen anything about him being a QPR fan, so I'll have to conclude that it wasn't him. But if that guy ever wants to sign up for a celebrity lookalike agency, he could earn himself a bit of pocket money.

DUTCH DELIGHT

2012-01-14T06:19:00.000-08:00

Thursday 15th September 2011 (Europa League Group Stage)

Fulham 1 (Johnson 19) F.C. Twente 1 (Schwarzer o.g. 41)

Attendance: 14,110

Another game pitchside, though I was beginning to get used to my new position. To be fair, it’s not as bad as actually being on the track, as I don’t have to sit down with my back to the pitch during the game. As there are no seats directly in front of “Yellow Gate P8” I could stand up and watch the game so, in some ways, it was better than being in a vomitory. However, it’s so boring, as there is very little contact with other people. For all the hassle that accompanies vomitory stewarding, at least you get to meet people and see most of the game, if you’re lucky.

Not that there was a lot to see after Andy Johnson had pounced on a poor pass across the F.C. Twente defence to open the scoring. And considering that F.C. Twente started the season in the European Champions’ League they were not much better than tonight tonight.

PITCHSIDE BLUES

2012-01-14T05:40:00.000-08:00

Sunday 11th September 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 1 (Zamora 38) Blackburn Rovers 1 (Rochina 32)

Attendance: 24,856

After the rigours of the international on Monday night, I was looking forward to a relatively quiet game against Blackburn. Unfortunately, it was a little too quiet, as I was positioned at the pitchside, one of the worst places to bem especially as I had been established as a vomitory steward for the past six months.

As it happened, I don’t think I missed too much on the pitch, as it was a pretty dour encounter, though there was a nasty clash of heads between Mark Schwarzer and Junior Hoilett in stoppage time of the second half. I didn’t see the incident, of course, and I had to rely on asking the Canadian guy wearing a Toronto F.C. shirt who was sitting in front of me.

I suppose the only benefit of being pitchside is that you get fairly up close with the opposition goalkeepers when they’re warming up. Paul Robinson, the Rovers keeper, was very good with the fans and happily signed autographs for those crowding the front of the stand.

I must admit that if I don’t get my place back in the vomitaries I will seriously consider resigning, as it’s not really worth me doing the job if I’m just going to be pitchside.

© Steve Taylor

Balloons were handed out to everyone entering the Putney Stand

for the game against Blackburn.

INTERNATIONAL MAYHEM

2012-01-14T05:34:00.000-08:00

Monday 5thSeptember 2011 (International Friendly)

Brazil 1 (Leandro Damiao 45) Ghana 0

Attendance: 22,700 (official figure)

This was easily the most difficult game I have ever stewarded at Craven Cottage. It started off OK, though a few people turned up with tickets for the wrong section of the stand, and even the wrong stand altogether.

I noticed that, as kickoff approached, the stand was still not full, which surprised me as we had been told that about 20,000 tickets had been sold so, with walkups, the game should have had close to a sellout crowd. It soon became clear after kickoff that a lot of people were still outside and that they had tickets for seats that were already occupied. This was partly because people had just sat down anywhere, ignoring the number on their ticket, but in one particular case a couple supporting Brazil had exactly the same tickets as a gentleman with his son. I should have sorted out the problem immediately but decided to wait until half-time.

Usually, this would not have been a problem but, as I was told by one of the supporters, there were ticketing problems outside the ground, meaning that there were huge delays in gaining entry. Unfortunately, the rush of people meant that I didn’t have a chance to help my Brazilian couple though, thankfully, my superviser was able to sort it out.

I was constantly required to sort out some sort of misunderstanding, and my job wasn’t helped by a small number of uncooperative supporters. There was no trouble, but they were not a well-behaved crowd at all and I’ll be happy to deal with the relatively angelic Blackburn Rovers fans on Sunday.

Since Monday, there have been a lot of articles in the press about the congestion outside. It seems that if, like my brother in the Hammersmith end, you paid cash on the gate, there was no problem. However, anyone who booked online and had to collect tickets on the night was faced with a severe lack of ticket office staff and very little crowd control. By all accounts, the crush was quite serious at times, and many people missed the first half, while some didn’t even get in at all.

As many of these late arrivals had tickets for the Putney stand, it would been a great help if we’d been given some kind of warning that there were still many ticket holders outside the ground at kickoff. Why on earth the kickoff was not delayed is a very important question that needs to be answered.

Needless to say, I didn’t see much of the game and wasn’t even sure of the result, never mind that one of the Ghan players got a red card in the first half and that Brazil scored quite a good goal on the stroke of half time. Towards the end of the game, I saw a few magic moments from Brazil as, luckily, they were attacking the Putney end in the second half, and it was good to see Ronaldinho at such close quarters.

After the match, there was a bit of a commotion as I was walking towards the school to sign out, when Danny Alves was spotted walking to a car on Finlay Street, closely followed by the Chelsea defender David Luiz.

Before leaving the Cottage, I walked down to the players entrance to see what was going on to see Neymar milking the adulation from the fans outside the Brazil team bus.

FULHAM FINALLY QUALIFY

2012-01-14T05:17:00.000-08:00

Thursday 18th August 2011 (Europa League playoff 1st leg)

Fulham 3 (Hughes 39, Dempsey 43, 49) Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk 0

Attendance: 14,823

A comfortable victory for the Black and Whites that should be enough to get them through to the group stages of the Europa League. Aaron Hughes opened the scoring after turning in a cross from youngster Matthew Briggs.

Clint Dempsey doubled the tally five minuted later and rammed home the difference in quality between the two sides with Fulham’s third goal less than five minutes after the break.

Dnipro showed some attacking prowess towards the end, with centre forward Nikola Kalinic looking quite impressive. I found out later that he had spent some time with Blackburn Rovers and had only moved from the Lancashire side last month.

The next game at Craven Cottage will be an international between Brazil and Ghana, which should be a fantastic experience, especially if the Brazil fans are accommodated in the Putney Stand.

OPENING DAY STALEMATE

2012-01-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

Saturday 13th August 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 0 Aston Villa 0

Attendance: 25,700

No goals but plenty of incidents in the Putney Stand. My first experience of Villa fans and they proved to be a bit of a handful, though I think this may have been down to it being the opening day of the season, more than anything else.

Ironically, it was a group of Fulham fans that were the biggest headache, as they had complained about people standing up all around where they were sitting, and expected the stewards to get everyone to sit down. Eventually, I found all seven of them seats in P2, though I later discovered that they had experienced trouble with a Villa fan who was sitting behind them. The only members of the group to thank me, incidentally, were the females.

On a more positive note, I was able to relocate a gentleman with a walking stick to the disabled area, as he was unable to stand up and see the game because everyone around him was doing.

At the end of the game, I had to ask fans to move towards the exits and came across a bunch of Japanese supporters. I overheard one of them talking about Urawa Reds, but bottled out of speaking any Japanese to them, as it might have freaked them out. Thinking back, I really should have said something but next time, I’ll make sure to do so!

© Steve Taylor

The view of the concourse from the top of the Putney Stand

INTO THE PLAYOFFS

2012-01-14T05:07:00.000-08:00

Thursday 4th August 2011 (Europa League 3rd Qualifying Round 2nd Leg)

Fulham 2 (Johnson 19, Murphy [pen.] 57) RNK Split 0
Attendance: 17,087

A fairly routine victory for Fulham, meaning that they are now in the Europa League playoffs, where they will meet Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk.

Not much to report except that it appears we have two W77 seats though, of course, one of them is W76. Unfortunately, there are some football supporters who have no sense of logic, so this will have to be fixed as soon as possible.

FULHAM CRUISE PAST CRUSADERS

2012-01-14T05:03:00.000-08:00

Thursday 21st July 2011 (Europa League 2nd Qualifying Round 2nd Leg)

Fulham 4 (Johnson 19, Duff 56, Zamora 66, Sidwell 70) Crusaders 0
Attendance: 15,676

After a 3-1 first leg win in Belfast, Fulham comfortably rolled over the Northern Irish part-timers, with an early goal from Johnson and three more in the second half.

In the Putney stand, there wasn’t too much to report, though one guy was very friendly and told me that he’d been following Fulham for more than 50 years. Now retired, he lives in Christchurch, on the south coast, so doesn’t get to many games these days, but he was very knowledgeable about the club, informing me that the Johnny Haynes Stand is the only remaining Archibald Leitch design left in England, though I have since discovered that the other two that are still standing are both in Scotland, at Hearts and Rangers.

In contrast to this gentleman, there were a group of boisterous fans, a bit drunk and waving home-made banners. One of them bore the legend, “1312 Boys” which, I later discovered, is a possible reference to the acronym ACAB, or All Cops Are Bastards. Earlier this year, three Ajax Amsterdam fans were fined £300 each for wearing T-shirts displaying this anti-police message at a game against Ajax Heracles in April 2010. With an ex-Ajax Amsterdam coach in the manager’s seat at Craven Cottage, perhaps they were some of his former club’s notorious “Ultras” that have discredited themselves so often in the past.

FULHAM LEGEND AT CORNBURY

2012-01-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

Saturday 2nd June 2011

A brief note to add a meeting I had with a Fulham legend at the Cornbury Music Festival, where I was working as a volunteer steward.

On the only night off when I didn;t have to get up early the next morning, I was chatting to a couple from Skipton, who introduced me to their new friend, an ex-footballer who used to play for Fulham. It turned out to be John Fraser, who had played full-back for the Cottagers in the 1975 F.A.Cup Final against West Ham United. We had quite an interesting conversation, not least because he played in the same team as Bobby Moore, a man who he said was a “real gentleman” He was happy to talk about the final, and descibed the “wall of sound’ he experienced as the two teams emerged from the tunnel at quarter to three.

Though Fulham lost 2-0, John was pleased with his performance and forced Patsy Holland to switch wings at half-time. He remembered the manner in which Bobby Moore calmed everyone down with his relaxed mood, having played at the stadium so many times, though I have a feeling that it would turn out to be his final competitive appearance at the place where he’d picked up the World Cup as captain of England nine years earlier.

We parted with John promising to contact me the next time he plans of visiting the Cottage, so we can have a drink together after the game. Hopefully, he’ll remember to do so.

A NEW SEASON BEGINS...IN JUNE!

2012-01-14T04:52:00.000-08:00

Thursday 30th June 2011 (Europa League 1st Qualifying Round 1st Leg)

Fulham 3 (Damien Duff 33, Danny Murphy (pen.) 61, Andy Johnson 70) Nes Soknar Itrottarfelag (NSI) Runavik 0
Attendance: 14,910

Barely four weeks since Fulham walked off the pitch after a 2-2 draw with Arsenal in their last game of the season, the Cottagers were back in competitive action, having qualified for the Europa League by virtue (if that’s the right word) of being the highest placed team in England’s Fair Play League that wasn’t involved in the Champions’ League.

Having got there a little bit early, things were very relaxed, perhaps because it was the first game of the season against an unknown side from some group of islands in the Atlantic Ocean. Yes, the first qualifying round of the Europa League had pitched Fulham against NSI Runavik, currently occupying fourth place in the Faroe Islands’ league.

With advance tickets on sale for as little as £5, I was expecting the crowd to be in five figures, though an hour before kickoff I was beginning to wonder where everybody was. Having been employed in my usual position in the Putney stand, I had a look around the ground to see about 100 people dotted around. However, as 7:30 approached, more people did turn up.

Among the close on 16,000 crowd were about 100 fans of Runavik who, it turns out, had travelled over with the team on their chartered flight. One of them I chatted with after the game was very friendly and even offered me a place to stay if I ever wanted to experience a few days in the Faroes.

© Steve Taylor

Runavik fans who travelled to Craven Cottage from the Faroe Isles

The crowd was pretty good-natured, though I felt a bit sorry for the lad whose shirt was adorned with the legend “Dempesy” on its back. One man seemed reluctant to leave at the end and it turned out that he hadn’t been to Craven Cottage for 26 years and wanted to savour every moment of his trip.

The game itself was nothing to write home about with, unsurprisingly, a pre-season feel to it though Runavik’s best effort—a shot from 30 yards out by Justinus Hansen—had Mark Schwartzer scrambling a bit after 25 minutes.

Any thoughts the visiting fans had of causing an upset were stifled eight minutes later when Damien Duff fired in the opening goal of the game. Danny Murphy’s penalty just after the hour effectively put things to bed and a third from Andy Johnson 10 minutes later virtually confirmed that it would be Fulham who meet Crusaders in the next round.

EUROPA LEAGUE TEAM LIST 2011/12

2012-01-14T04:43:00.000-08:00

EUROPA LEAGUE 2011/12

Seeded Teams                                        Unseeded Teams

Fulham                                                    Glentoran (N.I.)
Elfsborg (Sweden)                                   Milsami Orhei (Moldova)
Tromso (Norway)                                    Banga Gargzdai (Lithuania)
St. Patrick’s Athletic (Ireland)                  Daugava Daugavpils (Latvia)
Qarabag (Azerbaijan)                              Olimpija Ljubliana (Slovenia)
Jagiellonia Bialystok (Poland)                 Cliftonville (N.I.)
Rabotnicki (Republic of Macedonia)       Flamurtari Vlore (Albania)
Aalesund (Norway)                                 Vllaznia Shkoder (Albania)
Spartak Trnava (Slovakia)                      Narva Trans (Estonia)
Dinamo Tbilisi (Georgia)                         AZAL Baku (Azerbaijan)
Honka (Finland)                                      Irtysh Pavlodar (Kazakhstan)

Varazdin (Croatia) Shakhter Karagandy (Kazakhstan)

Minsk (Belarus)                                      Zeta (Montenegro)
Olimpi Rustavi (Georgia)                       Banants (Armenia)
Rad (Serbia)                                          Nomme Kalju (Estonia)
Hacken (Sweden)                                  IBV Vestmannaeyar (Iceland)
Siroki Brijeg (Bosnia & Herzegovenia)  NSI Runavik (Faroe Islands)
KR Reykjavik (Iceland)                          Ulisses (Armenia)
The New Saints (Wales)                        Tre Penne (San Marino)
Renova (Republic of Macedonia)          Neath (Wales)
Koper (Slovenia)                                    Kaerjeng 97 (Luxembourg)
Buducnost Podgorica (Montenegro)      Lusitanos (Andorra)
Birkirkara (Malta)                                   UE Santa Coloma (Andorra)
Paks (Hungary)                                     IF Fuglafjorour (Faroe Islands)

Ferencvaros (Hungary) Fola Esch (Luxembourg)

WOMEN'S EURO FINAL

2012-01-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Thursday 26th May 2011 (Women's Champions' League Final)

Olympique Lyonnais 2 (Wendie Renard 27, Lara Dickenmann 85) Potsdam 0

Attendance: 14,303

I didn’t work at this game, as I’d bought a ticket a couple of months before. It was interesting to attend as a supporter though, as it gave me an insight into how it feels to be a customer.

As I arrived at half-time after several pre-match beers with David Hickey, I only saw the second half. It wasn’t a bad game and the second goal was quite a powerful strike.

I left with a positive image of women’s football, though I’m not sure if I’ll be rushing off to any domestic league games in the near future.

SEASON DRAWS TO A CLOSE

2012-01-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

Sunday 22nd May 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 2 (Sidwell 26, Zamora 57) Arsenal 2 (Van Persie 29, Walcott 89)Attendance: 25,674

Last Premier League game of the season and one of the big guns or, more specifically, the Gunners visit Craven Cottage. Arsenal have had a disappointing season by their standards, and before kick off had slipped to fourth in the table, with the prospect of having to qualifying for the Champions’ League next season.

Fulham could be following Arsenal into Europe, as a result of their position in the Fair Play League. If they end up as the highest eligible club in the Fair Play League, they will join the qualifying rounds of the Europa League, which start on 30th June. Personally, I could do with a summer off, but, on the plus side, the opposition should be interesting.

After my temporary move to vomitories P5/P6 for the Liverpool game, I was back to my usual spot at vomitory P3/P4. I was expecting the Arsenal fans to be quite lively but, luckily, apart from one or two awkward characters they were fine.

As usual, there were a few overseas visitors, including a few Japanese fans. One young man was shocked when I overheard him use the phrase “maji de,” and replied “honto ni,” causing him to scream “Wow,” and shake ny hand. The other Japanese supporters were the Takizawa family (Mr and Mrs Takizawa and their two children). Well, assume his name was Takizawa as that was what was written on the back of his Arsenal shirt.

The game was not bad, though it had an “end-of-term” feel to it, in spite of Arsenal needing a win to stand any chance of finishing third in the Premier League, so 2-2 was probably a fair outcome. I had a good view of the game’s first goal, a thumping drive by Steve Sidwell from about 12 yards, though I was hoping that it had been Clint Dempsey’s boot on the end of the first goal, as I had earlier put a pound on him to open the scoring.

Three minutes later, I also saw Robin Van Persie equalise for the Gunners, which would prove to be the last Premier League goal I was going to see at Craven Cottage this season. In the second half, Zoltan Gera came on for Bobby Zamora and almost immediately got a red card for an ugly challenge on Thomas Vermaelen, fuelling speculation that Mark Hughes had asked his team to get tough in an attempt to avoid qualifying for the Europa League, though perhaps Gera had taken his advice a little too literally.

At the end, Fulham did a lap of appreciation, though I couldn’t see it as I was in my usual position at the corner of the Riverside and Putney stands, forming part of the cordon for funnelling away fans out of the ground.

Unfortunately, the season ended on a potentially sad note, as all stewards were called upon to search for a missing person, a 22-year-old six foot three Asian man, with special needs. Our group had to search the Riverside stand, where an end-of-season barbecue was under way, but we didn’t find anyone. Hopefully, it was a false alarm, but the looming presence of the River Thames in all its glory cast an ominous shadow over proceedings.

While we waited to be stood down, the chairman made his way way across the pitch towards the cottage and gave a perfunctory wave to another group of stewards.

REDS GO NAP AT THE COTTAGE

2012-01-13T19:53:00.000-08:00

Monday 9th May 2010 (Premier League)

Fulham 2 (Dembele 57, Sidwell 86) Liverpool 5 (Maxi 1, 7, 70, Kuyt 16, Suarez 75)
Attendance: 25,693

For me, this was the game I'd waited all season for, though was a little nervous about having to deal with a bunch of over-excited Scousers. As it was, I was moved from my usual P3/P4 spot to the busier P5/P6 area, so it was an even busier evening than expected.

The fans were good-natured, though they insisted on standing all the way through, and frequently blocked the stairways. Our job was not made any easier when Maxi Rodriguez opened the scoring after 32 seconds to notch up the fastest goal in the Premier League this season. Just after this strike, an old, blind woman came in with, presumably, her son, which proved to be a perfect opportunity to clear the stairways, as evryone moved out of the way for her.

Some of the Liverpool fans had enjoyed a few beers before the game, with one of them asking me which team I supported. Upon hearing me reply "Liverpool," he gave me a big handshake before saying "Good lad!" Later on, I saw him trying to get my young female co-worker's phone number. He wasn't the only guy to try either, as I saw at least one more Scouser making the same request.

Of the three Liverpool goals I saw—I missed the first and last—Maxi’s third was the pick, a stunning strike from 20 yards into the top corner. With form like this, I won't be surprised to see Liverpool challenging for a top four place, at least, next season or even, with a bit of luck, a crack at the title.

DEMPSEY TOPS FULHAM'S PREMIER LEAGUE GOALSCORING LIST

2012-01-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 27th April 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 3 (Dempsey 15, 48, Hangeland 65) Bolton Wanderers 0

Attendance: 23,222

A game that, for all intents and purposes, was a bit of a dead rubber ended up being a comfortable victory for Fulham, with goals from Clint Dempsey and Brede Hangeland securing another season in the Premier League for Fulham.

On an individual level, Dempsey's brace made him Fulham's top Premier League goalscorer, taking him past compatriot Brian McBride's and Frenchman Steed Malbranque's 32 strikes for the Cottagers. The American was not the only one to impress, from what I could see, with Eidar Gudjohnsson coming close on a couple of occasions.

With live European Champions' League footbal on terrestrial television and Bolton's season all but over, I was surprised that the crowd was as high as it was, though the reduced price if £5 for juniors may have boosted the attendance.

As with the F.A. Cup tie between the two sides, the visit of Lee Chung Yong to Craven Cottage attracted a lot of South Korean fans of all ages. Once again, they were unable to celebrate him scoring, though I would have liked to have seen the reaction if he had been able to hit the back of the net.

There were no major problems today, apart from the presence of what looked like a doggy-doo on the steps before the game, probably from one of the sniffer dogs that are used to check for suspect packages, though it could well have been a reminder that the fox that meandered across the pitch in the pre-season friendly against Werder Bremen in sunny, pre-season August is still around.

There are still issues that need to be addressed by management though. Not for the first time, some supporters asked to visit the club shop during the game, only to find that there's no access to the Stevenage Road stand from the Putney stand, an irritating inconvenience if they can't visit the shop after the game. This restriction is even more frustrating when one considers the amount of tourists that buy tickets for the Putney Stand, as I'm sure it must be disappointing to find that you can't leave with a souvenir of, possibly, your only trip to the Cottage.

The other thing is the Michael Jackson statue. Not surprisingly, the chairman's decision to erect this monument has created a lot of media attention and supporters are naturally keen to see what all the fuss is about. The problem is that unless you pass through the gate from the Putney Stand to the Riverside Stand just as it is opened, 10 or 15 minutes after the final whistle, you cannot get to see the statue. Again, for the casual supporter, this is very frustrating.

Anyway, the next game is against Liverpool, the match I've been waiting for all season. Apart from a victory for the Reds, all I'm hoping for is that the supporters are well-behaved and good-natured.

KING OF POP UNVEILED AT THE COTTAGE

2012-01-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

Sunday 3rd April 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 3 (Zamora 23, 28, Etuhu 72) Blackpool 0

Attendance: 25,692

The writer—all dressed up and ready to go home—in

front of the Michael Jackson statue at Craven Cottage.

I had been looking forward to Blackpool's visit to Craven Cottage all season, as their style of play, eccentric manager and enthusiastic supporters have been a refreshing addition to the Premier League this season. However, it was always going to be remembered for a non-footballing event that took place 90 minutes before a ball was kicked, in front of a few selected spectators.

The chairman had announced a few weeks before the game that a statue of Michael Jackson would be unveiled before the game against Blackpool to commemorate the "King of Pop." Jackson had attended a game at the Cottage, a 2-0 victory against Wigan Athletic in 1999, when both sides were in English football's second tier.

As far as I know, Jacko did not leave SW6 on that spring day 12 years ago with a burning love for the Cottagers, but it appears that the chairman had commissioned a statue of Jackson after the pop star's untimely death at the age of 50 in 2009, and had planned to display it in Harrod's. However, as the world-famous department store was sold last year, he decided to put it on show at his only remaining high-profile public property--Craven Cottage.

Before the game, all stewards were told not to comment on the statue, should any fans ask their opinion of it, just in case the questioner happened to be a journalist looking for a quote from a "representative" of the club. As most of us hadn't seen the monument before taking up our positions, there was little we could "Say, Say, Say" about it anyway. As it happened, no one asked me about the statue at all, though some other stewards got some enquiries.

After the minor chaos of Blackburn four weeks ago, I was hoping for a relatively quiet afternoon and, thanks to the good-natured away supporters, there wasn't much to deal with, bar the usual innocent drinkers trying to bring their booze into the stand. The Seasiders' fans were the best away supporter I've encountered this season, as they were really well-behaved, remained seated for most of the game and were in party mood, with several in fancy dress. I saw Batman and Robin, Robocop and an unidentified cartoon character, though the Fulham fans trumped them when someone dressed up as Michael Jackson took an extended bow as he left the Hammersmith End just before the final whistle.

On the field, Blackpool earned a routine victory with a couple of goals from Bobby Zamora, both of which were scored at my end, and a scrambled goal from Dickson Etuhu in the second half. It wasn't a bad game and was a much-needed win for Fulham at this stage of the season.

After the game, I walked round to our new statue to discover a colour figure that was not quite what I had been expecting. For me, there's something about a colour statue that can never be tasteful, unless it's a six-inch model of a Star Wars character, not something that towers over the River Thames. The statue will definitely attract its fair share of curious onlookers, and Fulham might even sell some tickets on that basis but, as far as I'm concerned, the best thing about Michael Jackson's presence at the Cottage is that he has been positioned as far as possible from the monument to a true Fulham great that has stood outside the ground's main entrance on Stevenage Road since 18th October 2008 - the late, great Johnny Haynes.

As me and some other stewards made our way to sign out at the Bridge Academy, the Blackpool bus was waiting to leave with, apparently, Ian Holloway placing an order for pizzas on the jouney back to the northwest. Somehow, I can't imagine Arsene Wenger doing the same thing for his Arsenal players.

The Blackpool players bus waits outside Craven Cottage.

BLACKBURN KEEP ME BUSY

2012-01-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

Saturday 5th March 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 3 (Duff 37, 59, Zamora [pen] 89) Blackburn Rovers 2 (Hanley 45+1, Hoilett 65)Attendance: 25,687

On paper, this fixture seemed innocuous enough. Two mid-table teams doing battle in front of supporters who have no history of hooliganism or rowdy behaviour.

How wrong could that be! There was a fight, a group of drunk fans, a Japanese man with a beer and a Norwegian filming with a professional-looking video camera.

The game was not too bad either. Five goals, Damien Duff's first brace in the Premier League since December 1997, a disputed penalty and a red card after the final whistle.

My new placement is at P3/P4 in the Putney End, so I'm very happy with that position, though it's certainly not the easy option. Today, there were a few large parties, all of whom were from overseas.

First, there was the Northern State University's women's soccer team. It turns out that this is a college based in Aberdeen, South Dakota, who decided to include a trip to Craven Cottage in their itinerary.

Next, there was a bunch of young students from Norway, kept in check by their long-suffering teacher.

Finally, about 10 minutes into the game, a bunch of Scandinavians (I think they were from Norway) who had clearly spent quite some time in the pub for several pre-match beers. They were generally well-behaved, though there always seemed to be one of them sitting on the steps, which is not allowed. I'm pretty sure that the problem lay with a couple of Blackburn fans who had jumped in two of their seats before they turned up, thus causing the overflow.

Then, one of the other stewards alerted me to someone drinking a beer in the stand. When he tried to point out who it was, I couldn't spot the offending boozer, but if he'd have said it was the Japanese guy I'd have got him straight away. If that wasn't enough, another steward alerted me to someone smoking in the stand. Not surprisingly, it was one of the drunken Scandinavians, though he was OK about putting out the offending cigarette. That wasn't the end of it though, as one of his mates sparked up a tab, though my co-vomitary steward went and sorted it out.

Finally, it was pointed out to me that one of the Norwegians had a smart-looking video camera, complete with proper microphone and everything. As he was sat in the middle of a row, I decided to wait 10 minutes until half-time before telling him that video filming is not permitted in the stadium. And then Fulham scored.

As Duff cut in from the right to fire past Paul Robinson, most of the Putney End rose to celebrate Fulham taking the lead, while our friend with the camera proceeded to hold his video camera up high and film the celebrations. As the Control Room will have had a massive eyeful of this, I had to step in and ask him politely to stop filming, which he did immediately. At least he got 36 minutes of action and a goal to take back to Norway with him.

For the first time this season, I saw a fight in the Putney End. Midway through the second half, I noticed that some of the youngsters supporting Fulham started baiting the Blackburn fans, though it didn't seem to come to anything. However, I think it was shortly after Blackburn equalised for the second time in the 65th minute, but there was a few scuffles and punches thrown in the middle of the Blackburn section, requiring the attention of quite a few stewards, before the police ejected four or five supporters.

OUT OF THE CUP

2012-01-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

Sunday 20th February 2011 (F.A. Cup Fifth Round)

Fulham 0 Bolton Wanderers 1 (Klasnic 19)

Attendance: 19,571

Today, I worked in two positions, starting at pitchside and then being moved to a vomitory. Though it's better than the undercroft, pitchside is still pretty grim, as you can't see any of the game, as you spend the game facing the crowd, and there's very little opportunity to interact with supporters.

The only thing that is interesting about the job is that you get up close and personal with the players as they warm up. Today, I was impressed that the Bolton goalkeeper, Jussi Jaaskelainen, who was not playing in this game, took time to pose for photographs with Bolton supporters who were sitting in the first couple of rows.

One of the other Bolton players had his own fan club. Chung Yong Lee, and there were plenty of visitors from South Korea at the Cottage.

Personally, I was one of the few stewards who was pleased that Fulham lost today, as I'm happy to work at Premier League games only, so I can keep my weekends clear occasionally. Also, I don't fancy the idea of working at a cup replay that goes to extra-time and penalties.

BLAME IT ON TORRES!

2012-01-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 2nd February 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 1 (Duff) Newcastle United 0

Attendance: 25,620

A game of two halves for me tonight! When I signed in before the game tonight, it was a case of Shock! Horror! My fears after being assigned to the Undercroft Exit on Sunday were realised.

It seems that all stewards had been allocated fixed positions on match days, based on the random selections made on Sunday afternoon, which means that I face the "Hell" of being a glorified toilet attendant with no chance of seeing any football for the rest of the season.

Of course, that's not going to happen as I'd rather quit than be consigned to this Room 101, though my protestations to one of my supervisors, before the game fell on deaf ears.

As I took my place underneath the stand, all I could think about was how I was going to word my letter of complaint, though the friendly Newcastle fans were making life in the underworld a little easier to stomach. Another supporter had come all the way from Canada and told me about waking up early in the morning to watch Premier League games every weekend. For no other reason than that, I hoped that he would see a decent game--even if I was not going to be able to!

With nothing much to do, I noticed that the "Exit" sign I was stewarding was not actually an exit but an emergency exit, though, not surprisingly, more than a few fans thought it was an actual exit.

Also, the disabled toilet was locked, with instructions given that we had to go to the first aid room and get the key if anyone needed to use the disabled facilities. One guy claimed that he'd left his disabled sticker in the car, though he didn't look too disabled to me. Nevertheless, I got the key, locked up and returned the key. When I saw a couple with a baby, I got the key again and wondered why I was having trouble getting in the disabled toilet when, much to my surprise, a man on crutches opened the door and, quite rightly, gave me a bit of abuse. Clearly, I hadn't locked the door properly! Not to worry, though I made certain to lock it securely that time.

As I was facing up to the prospect of spending another 45 minutes in the undercroft, there was a change of fortune. Because of some problem, they needed someone in vomitory P2, so I was sent there for the second half.

Talk about a game of two halves! It was great to be back in a vomitory after a game and a half in the undercroft and two games at pitch side. I arrived just in time to see a rendition of "Everybody Needs Somebody" by Jake and Elroy from "The All-New Original Tribute to The Blues Brothers," that will open at the New Wimbledon Theatre on 22nd February. They even got Billy the Badger moving on the touchline, though I'm not quite sure about the Moonwalk he was attempting in his big boots.

As I was positioned in the "sensible" end of the Putney End, most fans remained seated, so the rest of the game went off without incident, except for Damian Duff's winning goal on 67 minutes, which I was even able to see, which was probably the only goal I've seen at Craven Cottage since Peterborough's couple in the F.A. Cup Third Round.

Next time, Chelsea are the visitors so I'm hoping for another vomitory position, so I can get a good view of Fernando Torres for the first time ever, sadly in a Chelsea shirt rather than the red of Liverpool.

As we were sweeping the stand after the game, I found a great banner that had been left behind by an away fan, which just about summed up the Geordie fans' feelings about the departure of Andy Carroll to Liverpool for £35 million a couple of days before. It simply said, "Blame Torres."

SEEN AND NOT HEARD

2012-01-13T19:16:00.000-08:00

Sunday 30th January 2011 (F.A. Cup Fourth Round)

Fulham 4 (Murphy (pen.) 11, Murphy (pen.) 14, Hangeland 23, Dembele 45+3) Tottenham Hotspur 0

Attendance: 21,829

Having missed the last home game against Stoke City to attend my brother-in-law's funeral, I returned to Craven Cottage to find a change in staff deployment procedures that were, to put it mildly, a shambles, with a new system in place that drastically slowed down the signing-in process that all stewards have to do before each game, meaning that we were randomly allocated our positions before heading to the Cottage.

Unfortunately, I got lumbered with the "Undercroft Exit" position, a placement under the stand across from the Police Room which meant that I could not see anything of the game whatsoever and, worst of all, could hear the fans sitting above me in the Putney End, oohing and aahing at the ebb and flow of the game, leaving me to only guess what was happening on the pitch.

Before the game, I was able to chat to a few of the fans, and even saw one who I'm pretty sure was vaguely famous. One North American supporter handed in a wallet that he found, which was good of him, so I immediately took it to my supervisor, earning me some bonus points that, hopefully, would get me back in a vomitory for the next game.

Another foreign fan, this time from Norway, turned up with a huge smoked salmon for compatriot and Fulham defender Brede Hangeland and asked me if he could get it to him. As he was sitting near the player's tunnel, I suggested he ask one of the stewards near the tunnel to see if they could get it to Fulham's favourite Norwegian. The salmon wasn't the only non-human in the stand today, as I spotted a mouse dashing across the undercroft at one point.

Once the game kicked off, I noticed some water dripping through from the stand above. Suspecting it was just someone's spilled drink, I thought I should report it, just to be on the safe side, which meant I used the Emergency Phones for the first time. As it happened, it was just a spilled drink.

In the event, working in the undercroft wasn't quite as bad as I feared, though I wouldn't want to do it too often in the future.

FULHAM BATTER POSH

2012-01-13T19:11:00.000-08:00

Saturday 8th January 2011 (F.A. Cup Third Round)

Fulham 6 (Kamara 32, 59, 76, Etuhu 45+1, Gera 66, Greening 89) Peterborough United 2 (Tomlin 71, McCann (pen.) 86)

Attendance: 15,936

This being the F.A. Cup, the restrictions on away supporters were much more relaxed that for Premier League games, resulting in about 5,000 Peterborough fans packed behind the Putney end goal.

They were generally well-behaved, though some of them were trying to show off their bravado by insisting on standing up during the game. One of their fans even had an old-fashioned rattle! Not that it affected me, as I was positioned pitch side again. After some respite for the Sunderland game before Christmas, the last two games have seen me pitch side, a place I'd rather not be, mainly because you get to see very little of the game. For this game, I saw Lee Tomlin poke home the first Posh goal and had a grandstand view of Grant McCann's penalty, in my position directly behind the goal.

From what I saw, Peterborough weren't a bad side, which shouldn't have come as a surprise considering their top six position in League One. Clearly, the club's board don't share my feelings, as manager Gary Johnson was sacked a couple of days after this game, to be replaced by former boss Darren Ferguson.

As for Fulham, this win was a welcome bit of shooting practice that, hopefully, they can take into their upcoming Premier League games as they aim to notch up a few wins in their fight for survival.

The fourth round draw paired Fulham with Tottenham at home, to be played on Sunday 30th January, at 4:30 p.m. to suit ESPN's live coverage.

BASEMENT BATTLE

2012-01-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 4th January 2011 (Premier League)

Fulham 3 (Davies 45+1, Dempsey 56, Hangeland 65) West Bromwich Albion 0

Attendance: 23,654

I must admit that the prospect of spending a cold Tuesday night in January hanging around a football ground in West London while two likely relegation candidates battled it out for three points did not appeal to me very much, but on the positive side I had a new pair of Long Johns and a thermal under shirt, so I was fairly well wrapped up.

To top it all off, I was assigned pitch side duties, so I couldn't even watch what turned out to be not a bad game, with one goal that apparently screamed into the top corner of Scott Carson's goal at the Putney End. From my position, all I saw was the net bulge as his shot screamed past the former England international.

The Albion fans were good natured and kept up their support throughout the game. One in particular had a very nice looking Asian girlfriend, probably Philippina, though she could have been Japanese.

Before the game, the Albion players warmed up by practicing some volleys, so everyone had to be on full alert for flying footballs. One shot by Peter Odemwingie hit one supporter and it was really good to see him make a special effort at the final whistle to hand over his match shirt to her, by way of compensation. A small but very important gesture that will mean that my opinion of him in the future will always be positive.

Half-time at Craven Cottage during the Fulham vs West Bromwich Albion

game on 4th January 2011

As for the final score, it was a badly needed win for Fulham, who moved up to 13th in the Premier League, and I'm sure that manager Mark Hughes would rather not have the distraction of Saturday's home game against Peterborough blocking the way of a half-decent run in the league.

MACKEM'S FAIL TO TACKEM

2012-01-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

Saturday 11th December 2010 (Premier League)

Fulham 0 Sunderland 0

Attendance: 24,462

Craven Cottage announces the game against Sunderland on

11th December 2010.

As a supporter of Sunderland since moving to the town (as it was in those days) in 1987, this was a game I'd been looking forward to since I started the job and I even requested to be posted in the thick of the away supporters.

It was great to hear the Mackem accent again and the fans were pretty well behaved, on the whole. I think one of them was quite surprised when I informed him that I had a ticket for Sunderland's forthcoming home game against Bolton the following Saturday.

Unfortunately, the game was very disappointing and, to be honest, I was surprised that the attendance just a couple of weeks before Christmas was so high.

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce signs autographs outside Craven Cottage

after the Northeast side's 0-0 draw against Fulham on 11th December 2010.

After the game, I met an old friend from the Northeast, Graeme Anderson, who is now the chief football writer at the Sunderland Echo. Graeme, his colleague and myself headed off to the Eight Bells pub in Putney to watch Newcastle United vs Liverpool, which kicked off at 5:30pm. It was good to see him after getting on for 20 years and was looking very well.

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce signs autographs outside Craven Cottage

after the Northeast side's 0-0 draw against Fulham on 11th December 2010.