Hey all. Haven’t posted here in far too long.

I have some news. Since walking across the country isn’t demanding enough (ha, sense the sarcasm?) I’ve decided to start a new website.

This thing has been a long time coming. It’s www.mndfl.net. Crazy domain name, I know, it’s the word Mindful without the vowels. I will write there about mindful living and being more conscious and aware in a world that seems to get more hectic every day.

Why mindfulness? No single concept has changed my life more than this. Inspiration has come from a variety of sources, and I’m going to share and review many of them in the coming months on the site as I share my little bits of advice and experiences.

To put it simply, when I started focusing on living mindfully, things just started getting a whole lot better for me. I’m still learning new things each day that seriously blow my mind.

I’m not sure as to what the future of thewaythatyouwander.com is, but I can tell you that mndfl.net is my main focus now. It’s a much more focused thing there as far as subject matter goes, and I like that. Hopefully you will too.

I definitely encourage you to go over there and subscribe to either the RSS or email option.

So yeah, www.mndfl.net.

You all are so freaking awesome.

When I used to have a car and live in a more remote area, there were times when I would drive for 30 minutes or more without seeing one other vehicle. I would often find myself thinking, “This is what it’s like to be the last person on Earth.” Music up, windows down. Freedom.

Although lonely, it is an exciting thought. I can do anything I want. Anything. Go anywhere I want. Anywhere.

I would see the headlights of another vehicle coming around the corner up ahead and quickly snap out of this last man on Earth fantasy.

I’m not the last person on earth anymore, but does that really matter?

I’m still free, and I can still do what I want, and go any place I desire. Outside forces (like all humans being gone) really have absolutely nothing to do with it.

Fantasy becomes real life in that instant, and it’s a beautiful thing.

I’m bored of the whole idea of FREE. I used to be all about it, but lately I’ve been heading in the other direction. There seems to be free stuff everywhere online, particularly ebooks. Every blogger has a free ebook these days. It bores me.

Free really dilutes value for me.

Think about who you’re attracting when you give something away for free.

Think about who you’re attracting when you sell something of value to someone who needs it.

Which one of those groups is going to become true fans and want to spread your idea? Unless your free thing is mindblowingly good, it’s just going to end up taking up space on someone’s hard drive.

The free world is cluttered and they’ll probably just jump right to the next thing, because hey, it’s free too. It probably would have been better used as a regular blog post where your message is more easily spreadable and easier to access.

If I get something for free, I might use it. If I pay for something, even if it’s just a small amount, I’m going to use this thing because now I’ve invested in it. It would be a waste not to.

When someone charges money for something I don’t see it as them just wanting to make a quick buck, I see it as them knowing what they have is valuable and they want only serious people to take part in what they’re doing.

Instead of putting a free ebook out there (let’s face it, you’re not going to work as hard on a free ebook as something that you’d charge money for), why not put that time into creating something truly epic. Something that you’re so confident in it’s ability to change the world that you only want to attract serious people to it.

And someone who has paid to get involved is going to do a hell of a lot more than a freebie seeker.

If you want to provide true value and make a difference, is free really the best way to go?

I don’t think it is in most cases. You provide enough of your brilliance for free through regular posts. Don’t be afraid to get paid for your expertise. People care enough to pay for it.

And if they don’t, it’s not a big deal. They probably aren’t the type of person you want to join your movement anyway.

What do you think? I’m not trying to offend any of you reading this who have free ebooks, just trying to share what I’ve been thinking about lately, and curious as to whether it makes any sense to you or not.

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Note: This is a very personal post. I’m actually pretty uncomfortable publishing it, but I feel like you all have been so much of a part of this journey so far it would be wrong to not share it. Plus, uncomfortable seems to be my thing lately. I’m sure many of you can actually relate to it. Here we go.
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You know that feeling when you you’re drawn towards something but you’re not really sure why? It could be a person, it could be a place, it could be some sort of journey to an unknown destination.

I do.

Despite the fact that I’ve barely done any traveling in my life so far, I feel pulled to certain places. I feel drawn to this journey of walking across America that I begin in just 76 days. It’s truly unexplainable for me at this point. I’ve been trying to figure it out for upwards of a year now. Maybe it will come to me somewhere along those many, many miles.

The definitive answer to WHY never came but I decided to pull the trigger anyway.  Sometimes you just need to go for it and then worry about the details later.

This pull to strange and different things is exciting, but it also has it’s devastating side.

For the last few months I had been pretty stressed out and depressed. This is the first I’ve mentioned it to anyone. I hadn’t been sleeping well, nothing really interested me very much (except this push to explore) and I was basically treating those close to me like shit. Unenthusiastic about life describes it pretty well, and that is NOT the normal me. In short, I was trying to outsmart this pull I feel to move and do crazy stuff like walk 4,000 miles. Didn’t work.

If you do not know already, me and my girlfriend Ashley parted ways about a week ago. It’s been tough, really tough. People aren’t supposed to break up when they still love eachother so much. I want to thank all of you who reached out to me with your support, I was honestly quite overwhelmed.

But why end things with a girl I love who also happens to be my best friend? Because of this pulling feeling. It scares the hell out of me. I’ve been really down the last few months because I know how unpredictable it is. What if I finish walking across the country and it’s not enough? What if Peru pulls me, or Thailand, or India, or any other place far away?

Do I just say, “Sorry, I’m heading to Thailand for a few months, mind waiting around for me even longer?”

And what if THAT isn’t enough to get whatever this is out of my system?

You can see the disastrous effect this could have. I care about Ash more than I can even describe, so I couldn’t stand the thought of doing that to her. She has dreams of her own, there’s no point in putting them on pause and waiting for me while I’m out doing whatever I’m doing.

A few things about the pull, and what happens when you let it take over:

You can’t distract yourself from it. No amount of alcohol or other distractions (more like destructions) will make it go away. Tried it, big mistake. I was depressed because none of it worked.

You will feel like you’ve let a lot of people down. This has been the hardest part. Her family are the most INCREDIBLE people ever. Kind, welcoming and downright hilarious, I’ll miss seeing them all the time. Hopefully they’ll be following along as I go and stay in touch often.

You’re going to be scared out of you’re freakin’ mind. This just comes with the territory when you do something different.

You will feel guilty. I had it all: A nice place to live, a girlfriend who cared about me and could cook (that’s the way to my heart, people), two great pets, a nice car and a job that I liked going to. Perfect, right? Well, yeah. Who in their right mind passes that up? The answer: me. I blame it on the pull.

Someday everything will come together and I will want all that good stuff. I do want to get married and have little Nate’s running around. This isn’t me avoiding that kind of life or insulting it in any way, it’s me putting it off until it feels right and I can put all of my effort into making it great.

As I drove away from our beautiful little apartment with all my stuff in my car for the 2 hour drive to my mom’s place, I wanted to turn around. I wanted to go back to what should be perfect and comfortable every second of the way.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Forward is the only way to go. The pull is in charge now.

We’ll see where it takes me.

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Have you experienced anything similar to this? Have any advice to share? Please do so below in a comment.
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I’ve been wanting to write a post for quite some time now that outlines more about who I am. This is a random list of 12 things about me that you do not know. I feel kind of weird posting this, as my mind is telling me that you may not really care, but I know that I love reading posts like this on other blogs. So, yeah, here we go.

1. I have not yet found a food that I don’t like. Cauliflower isn’t my favorite, but I’ll still eat it. That’s really the only thing that I’m not genuinely excited to eat. Granted, I haven’t traveled too far away yet, so who knows if this will change in the future. I will try any food once. Try me.

2. I’m definitely not an adrenaline junkie. Jumping off cliffs into water, driving really fast and other stuff like that just isn’t my cup of tea. I like taking risks, but not ones that could potentially kill me.

3. I’m pretty cheap. I mean frugal, maybe. I rarely buy new clothes (having a minimalist wardrobe helps this) and usually stay away from expensive things when there is a cheaper alternative. A good illustration is in my beer selection. I regularly drink really, really cheap beer. Like embarrassingly cheap beer. I’m all about the 40 ounce bottles.

4. I went to a small, private Christian school for 8th – 10th grade. There was a uniform, I had to wear a tie every day. Believe it or not, I really enjoyed it. Academically is was much more difficult than public school and I enjoyed the challenge. When I transferred out to a public school to finish my high school years it seemed very easy.

5. I own a couple of guns. And no, I don’t really have an opinion on the whole gun control issue. I enjoy shooting them for fun. I’m not a big hunter so they aren’t normally used for that.

6. I used to be able to dunk a basketball very well. It’s been about a year now since I’ve tried, but in college I could do it very easily. I’m 5’ 11’ so it took many hours of training to be able get to that level. I’ve recently added do a 360 dunk to my life to-do list so at some point I need to start training again. It was the one dunk I could never really finish and it still bothers me.

7. I make hip hop beats. Since age 16 I’ve been really into hip hop. I can’t stand the mainstream stuff and I prefer independent or underground artists. I have an Akai MPC 2000 XL drum machine/sampler, two turntables, a mixer and a bunch of old records that I use for sampling. I’ve recorded very little of what I’ve made. You can hear some here if you are into that type of music.

8. I do not enjoy running at all. I’m pretty cool with walking (hehe) but I’ve never been able to get into running. I’ve tried many times! I love the idea of it but it just makes me so damn miserable.

9. I almost never complete a sentence without saying either dude or man. Those of you who have met me in real life may have noticed this. I honestly have no idea when this started. I’ve tried to stop but it hasn’t worked, so I just kind of roll with it now. It might make me sound like an idiot but whatever, dude.

10. I enjoy watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. It’s disturbing, I know. I’m blushing a little bit writing this. I do not watch much TV at all (and I’m looking forward to the day I get rid of it altogether), but one morning on a day off from work I started watching it randomly. Eight or nine hours later (it was a marathon) I was still watching. Oops. Now I’m hooked. Go ahead, ridicule me. I deserve it. In my defense, Kim Kardashian is not difficult to look at.

11. I have a brother. His name is Ezra and he’s 20 years old. A lot of siblings don’t get along very well, but we are very close. He’s extremely intelligent and I know he’ll end up being very successful in whatever he does. I’m currently working with him on some ideas that would allow him to have a location independent lifestyle. He recently read the Four Hour Work Week and we all know the excitement that comes after that.

12. Me and Ezra once drove a 15-passenger van into a house. My dad had a rule: Don’t play in the van. So what did we do? We played in that damn van one day when he wasn’t looking. It just happened to be at the top of a very steep driveway. It was a standard, so it was only a matter of time before Ez hit it into neutral and we began rolling backwards. We gained speed pretty quickly, crossed a main road somehow without being hit by another vehicle, shot across someones lawn and ran directly into a house. We had managed to do a fair amount of damage. My dad wasn’t happy, and I still feel bad that we put him through that! Boys will be boys, I guess.

So there you have it. You now are aware that I’m even stranger than you previously thought.

What do I not know about you? Share something interesting in a comment.

In order to have any real success when trying to improve yourself, you need to be your own therapist.  It’s quite a task, to say the least.

No amount of personal development blogs and books will help you until you ask yourself WHY.

An example: In the past I would do the oh my goodness someone who I kind of sort of know is coming I think I’ll pull out my cell phone and look down at it so I can avoid eye contact and maybe they won’t engage me in a conversation that could be kind of awkward and ahhh what if I don’t know what to say?! Thank you cell phone from rescuing me. Heaven forbid I have to actually speak to another human being, thing.

What kind of freak does that? And Why?

That’s the exact question I asked myself. After getting over myself and acknowledging that I was a total tool, some interesting truths came to the surface.

I did it because my social skills weren’t there. I didn’t know how to use body language, eye contact and stuff like that. I wasn’t confident because I had nothing exciting going on in my life, so I felt unworthy of taking up this persons time.

Bam. There are things to work on right there. Get busy, self.

All of the personal development blogs and books in the world won’t help you unless you can do this. Get deep inside your thought process(es), as disturbing and embarrassing as they may be, and get over yourself. Ditch the pride and realize you need to get to work.

This will laser focus your efforts. You will know exactly what issues need your attention. Why read about how to improve your productivity by 1,000,000 percent when the real problem is your confidence, right?

Just a quick tip from me about something I’m passionate about. If there’s one thing I’m proud of so far in my life, it’s the level of personal development I’ve achieved over the last two years. What I just told you helped me an incredible amount.

So get to work. Freak.

Reasons. I can think of a million of them that tell me why I SHOULDN’T put everything on hold and walk across America for nine months.

The one reason that beats that million: Knowing that I’ll discover a million + 1 more reasons why I SHOULD go along the way.

Don’t be shortsighted in your reasoning when it comes to pursuing (and not pursuing) big goals and dreams.

Reasons (AKA excuses) to not do something risky are easy to come up with. They usually heavily outnumber the reasons to do it. Many folks like to use a pros vs. cons list in this situation.

But that’s the beauty of a journey. There is no other way to discover the pros than to get out there and do it. The cons are staring you in the face. The pros need to be discovered.

It’s risky and difficult. But if it was easy, everyone would do it.

I love the look in someones face when they are truly engaged in a conversation. The body language is there, the conversation flows and you can tell that you’ve struck conversation gold. It’s so nice.

As humans, which I think you probably are, we really enjoy talking about ourselves and the things we like. It’s not really as selfish as it seems, it’s just how we’re wired. Sure, we can be polite and make it through conversations that aren’t particularly interesting, but we thrive when we’re engaged and the topics are dear to us.

So how can you use this nice tidbit of information to your advantage? Easy.

When you’re talking to someone, whether it be an event, party, encounter in a long grocery store line or whatever, get to the topics that the person you’re talking to likes.

My favorite way to do this: Simply replace “So what do you do?” with “What’s your story?” Bam. Done.

“What do you do?” usually sparks a conversation about work and the daily grind, and a lot of people really don’t like their job. Even if they do like it, it consumes their life for 40+ hours per week and that’s enough. Don’t make them go over THAT again.

“What’s your story?” is much more personal, but not in a creepy way. This will get to topics such as hobbies, travels, schools attended, former home cities/countries, current home cities/countries, family and passions really fast. It kind of skips all the formalities that many of our boring conversations go through before getting to any real valuable or memorable stuff.

It’s way cooler to do this, trust me. I’m no networking or conversational genius, in fact I’m still kind of quiet, but this is a great method that I use all the time.

So, what’s your story?

I’ve had the neat opportunity so far this summer to meet a few of my “online friends” in real life. If I had to use one word to describe it: Energizing.

Living in an area where lots of people still do not even have internet access, and if they do it’s prehistoric dial-up, many of my friends and family don’t really understand it. For instance, many people told me that Alan Perlman was going to be an axe murderer and end my life somewhere in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Pretty ridiculous, right?

Anyhow, the reason I’m writing this post is to tell you about what I have found to be the best way to get extremely excited about life and your goals. Before just a number of weeks ago I had no clue that this would be such a big deal.

This shockingly effective method to get yourself pumped up and rearing to go is to simply spend some time, in person, with people who are living your dream lifestyle.

Getting together with the Way Below Status Quo crew, Colin, Andi and Ash (and meeting the awesome Elisa) was incredible. The meetup was in Portland, which is over 2.5 hours from where I live. I opted to drive 1 hour to my mom’s house to crash there instead of driving all the way home after, but it ended up being for no reason at all. I could have driven to freakin’ Alaska if I wanted to. I was that energized and encouraged by the conversation and entire experience.

I ended up staying awake until just about 5 a.m. that night (or morning) working on my business. And I had to make myself go to bed. Meeting up with these inspiring folks was the equivalent to drinking about 5 big Red Bull’s in as many minutes. I was stoked.

It’s because I saw that they were actually DOING IT. They are living the lifestyle that I am working so hard to achieve for myself. I saw that it was possible, in person, for the first time. This wasn’t a blog post, it was the real deal.

Just this last weekend I went hiking with world-traveler and longtime online buddy Alan Perlman (the accused axe murderer, remember?), as well as with a few of his really great friends, and the experience was just as energizing. The discussions on everything blogging, traveling and entrepreneurship were a breath of fresh air.

As we were slowly working our way through some of the most dangerous terrain in North America, I had the same feeling as I did in Portland with the WBSQ group. It was pure energy. This was someone with whom I could discuss the topics that I was passionate about, and he is equally as into them as me. Awesome to say the least.

So, if there is anyone even close to where you live that you feel could create this sort of inspiration in you, then PLEASE make an effort to meet with them in person. Even if you have to travel a good amount to get there, do it. I promise that it’s worth it.

And if any of you sexy readers are ever anywhere near where I live (I live in Maine if you didn’t know) and do not make an effort to get in touch, I will track you down and make you pay for what you’ve done. This is your warning. Get in touch.

My last name is pretty weird. It’s Damm. Technically pronounced “Domm” but more often spoken by others as it looks (a mild curse word that I happen to love pretty damn much). It’s so often said wrong by people that I honestly don’t even notice anymore. I find that when I do notice enough to correct people they often say, “Well why didn’t you tell me before?” My bad.

I remember once as a youngster I was looking through a phone book and saw another “Damm.” I was overjoyed. I was no longer alone! A few minutes later my dad pointed out that the listing was for my grandfather, whom I knew exclusively as “grampy.” Who knew grandparents had real names?

So, who cares if I have a really strange last name right? I certainly don’t, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to get at.

As a kid I was extremely embarrassed about my last name (as well as my abnormal amount of arm hair as a grade schooler) and it got me into some uncomfortable situations.

I remember one time I even LIED about what my last name was. It’s outrageous to think about now but self-conscious 12 year old me thought it was like the best idea ever.

Somewhere along the line, and I can’t remember exactly when, I made the choice to just roll with it. I was going to laugh at the jokes people made (they were abundant) and take it all in stride.

In making the choice to stop worrying about such a meaningless thing I learned two lessons that have helped me a lot.

First, if you are not able to laugh at yourself, you need to take a serious look at your life. When did everything become so serious? People don’t want to be around someone who is uptight. So laugh, even if it is at your own expense.

Next, a situation is only as uncomfortable as YOU want to make it. In the past when someone would mispronounce my name or say something like, “That’s a “damn” fine name you have there!” I would get all embarrassed and look at the floor. By simply laughing at my own somewhat unfortunate name (my ancestors switched from Van Damme, which is so badass and I wish they kept it) and understanding the true humor it it for some people these awkward situations were instantly gone.

It became more of a topic of conversation than anything. A neat ice breaker, if you will.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel embarrassed about something, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable, loosen up by thinking of the lessons I’ve just shared. Life’s too short to let your insecurities and little quirks take over and hold you back.

Embrace your weirdness (or uniqueness), and I guarantee things will go pretty Damm well for you.