The Whatever Chronicles

The truth about this working mom.

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 13:48:00 +0000

So, I read a lot of blogs. Many of those blogs are awesome "mommy blogs" with a ton of amazing advice on raising children of all ages. My favorites, of course, and the ones ill read again & again, are the ones that are a little more truthful about the ups & downs of parenting. Usually, they have to be funny too, for me to become a dedicated (when I have time) reader. I've noticed the last year or so how awesome I am at making excuses &, while I know this needs to change, I can only read a mommy blogposts about organization or memorization of bible verses with your young children or whipping up prepared dinners every Sunday to freeze for the week or any other task that is so absolutely brilliant & wonderful that it makes me want to go crawl under a table & never come out. Or at least cry. I aspire to be a Supermom & that will never change, but selective blog-reading, at this time in my life, is necessary for my self-esteem & sanity

Maybe there are more moms like this out there? Maybe you need a pick-me-up like I have so many times needed. This could be that for you. This single photo is an honest, raw look into my life as a working mom. This is how I cope with a toddler at work when I allowed him to talk me into not making him go to school because he went to bed so late the night before because of parenting techniques that would horrify the Super Nanny. I believe this (barely) four year-old when he says this time will be different at work. He "pinky promises" he'll leave me alone to work in the office. Because I'm in such a protected & focused state of self-preservation, I see this for the brilliant use of resources that it actually is. I see the office supplies saved from complete destruction. I feel the sigh of relief he's not in the same room with me for a few minutes talking so incessantly I want to shoot myself. I see one less tantrum - actually two (his & mine)! I hear his giggling replace another episode of Backyardigans. I see bullets dodged. Maybe if you squint or stand on one leg or read the news first, you'll be able to see it too?

Cash's Report on dodge ball practice

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Fri, 05 Oct 2012 18:58:00 +0000

No Excuses....but there are just SO many!

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:42:00 +0000

I decided to throw Derrek a surprise 40th birthday party. If he had any idea how to read my blog or log in to his own facebook, I MIGHT be worried about him finding out but I'm pretty sure the Internet is the least likely to blow my cover.

You know, I'm always whining about how behind I am but how much time I waste but I'm distracted but kids need me but Derrek has to work late blah blah blah. Well, as soon as I emailed out the invitation to Derrek's party (by the way, you're totally invited. unless you know you're not someone that would actually want to see. Please don't crash if that's the case. all other Derrek lovers that Derrek loves can check out the invitation and party info HERE: If you're coming, please register and rsvp on Paperless Post.

At the bottom of the invitation (obviously you've read it now), is a link (that doesn't work) to, what I'm calling, Derrek's Ink Fund. HERE is the working link to more info about that.

Enough about him. Back to me. So I'm always whining and annoying myself and then I decide to throw this party. Great idea. He deserves it. Good job me. Then, we get a letter from TABC that they're gonna stop in for a "quick audit" this coming TUESDAY. This means, I have to officially catch up at work. Excuses won't work now. I feel like I'm asking Derrek for help when I say, "Derrek, I really need to work late tonight. Can you handle the kids?" but apparently, I wasn't clear the last few nights. What I'm supposed to say is "I need you to take care of the kids. I need to not be bothered about any of it so I can work." Something like that anyway. I guess I shouldn't ask him if he can, I have to tell him he has to. I'm totally over the whole "guys should just know what you want & need without telling them." I know with certainty that is NOT the case but wouldn't it be amazing if asking nicely got the job done? Without comments, like "why can't you get all your work done during the day anyway?" ? I mean, obviously, it must be my fault that trying to be nice and respectful is delivered in such a way to invite really offensive accusations - many times disguised in simple questions. Sneaky. Three years ago, I'd be a soppy mess on the floor horrified that my husband doesn't even "know me". Luckily, now, I know it's not my job to twist and turn to be someone that he doesn't insult. His insults are his problem and come out most frequently when he's had a rough day at work. Today, he literally looks like he was hit by a truck. When Cash is exhausted, he's not very nice either.

I'm adding a button for the Ink Fund. I really want this for him. I want him to feel the love of so many that know him coming together to present this gift. I do think this is something that he needs to get out of a little rut that he's in. As much as he tries to be unlovable and unsociable, his friends and family are everything to him. We see a smart, talented, kind, former pretty boy with a warm contagious laugh and welcoming voice. Hopefully, a huge show of support and love will be the boost to see himself as he should. To dream again. To get healthier (both of us!) and to freaking pull his panties out of his butt sometimes. And I really want this for me. He'll see his new tats and be forced to think all of these people that love him that he doesn't even realize totally love him and love him just as he is. And he'll probably tear up thinking about the overwhelming wave of adoration on a daily basis, at least for a little while. THEN, he'll remember it was me that orchestrated the whole thing and be my little puppy.

It's okay. You can laugh.

Ha! Read the title of this post again. See I totally had another idea for this but my crazy mind and fingers (that are supposed to be working because of said husband home with said children!) have totally derailed. I'm sure it means I have a special talent. It probably takes a kind of genius to start out addressing her own excuses and turn that into an all out vent about her hard-working husband that is turning 40 next week.

DANGIT! Just realized that I have these big plans for a puppy-like husband because of my awesomeness but I have to finish this work BEFORE I can focus on the food and decorations and fun stuff at the party (pretty much EVERY detail except getting the word out) so my chances of "awesomeness" fade with every word I type that shave precious moments off my catching up months of data & journal entries that are stealing time from the party planning diva that I know is hiding in there somewhere. Who's lost?

There. I blogged. Whatever.

Schizo Blogger Blogs First Day of School

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 16:31:00 +0000

I already know this so ya'll will probably just have to adjust. Not sure I liked the other page but hope this one isn't too busy. It only takes me 8 hours or so to play with it and things are still not exactly how I'd like but I feel like this one is more flexible?

School started today. Thank you, Blake & Ashley for being such angels. Thank you, Cash, for, well, today, not making it easy at all for me! You wouldn't let me use water on your hair, or brush your teeth. It took 15 minutes to dress you as you laid in bed. You ignored your sister as she tried to help. You laid on my lap like a limp noodle when I put on your shoes. You threw fits when I wouldn't carry you. You only relaxed when your brother let you play games on his phone on the way to school, proving ever so much more, how spoiled and rotten your lousy parents have allowed you to become. In all honesty, I think I really could have handle all of that but, my heart will LITERALLY give out if you scream "MOMMY!!!!!!" with the voracity, volume and sobbing only comparable to scenes from The Excorcist, every single day when I try to say good-bye (for 30 minutes). I cannot do it. Although, I'm sure, somehow, I will for as long as you choose to dramatize the morning drop-off at your sweet, little Montessori school with your sweet, little teachers and non-stop activities that you enjoy. You enjoy them so much that every afternoon, I'll pick up a happy kid. Yes, you'll be happy to see me but also reply "great!" when asked, "how was your day, sweetie?" Nevermind that I spent the night before lying awake in bed anxious about the drop-off and reeling for half my work-day after the drop-off. Really, Precious, don't worry about that.

As Paige Rod Would Say, "EW!"

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 23:48:00 +0000

Paige Rodriguez (was Paige Whitlock at the time) is the first friend I made after college and she pretty much saved my life. What I wouldn't give to live next door to her until I die. She's one of those people that just TOTALLY 100% gets me. It kind of makes me think about that movie, "What's My Number?" with Ana Farris that most of you probably haven't seen. But the whole thing is about finding her true love and she finally figures out true love is when you're totally yourself. So, no, I'm not in love with Paige, like that. But I love her as a sister and find comfort, no matter how long its been, because she still gets me. Even with layers of marriage and kids and crazy ladies and life, she has x-ray vision and still sees me there. Thank God for her and actually, for the fact that I have SO many amazing women that I call friends. I know how rare it is and I totally plan to start milking it a little more:) ANYWAYSSSSSS, Paige and I worked on the same trading floor but emailed incessantly all day, every day. We weren't talking about work either. Fashion. Love. Future. Weddings. Jokes. Her lame boyfriend. Business Ideas. My boyfriend. Our potential. Whatever we were talking about, I promise we were laughing. Oh my gosh, can I get to the point? The point is, she always spelled "ooooh" like "ew". But maybe she meant "ew". It was a long time ago but when I read that I have to make a face like something stinks. Whoah. How do I do that? It's totally ok if you're lost.

Why am I saying "ew" in the first place? I'm still getting used to the many changes and updates in Blogger. I vaguely remember thinking how cool it was to see the referring websites when I blogged two years ago. Always felt like I knew exactly who was reading. Now I was just looking at my "stats" and there was a website I'd never heard of but the name seemed totally harmless. Uh, but it wasn't. It was disgusting. I'm still recovering. I don't like that I'm linked to it somehow. It gives me the creeps. I also noticed that the same number of hits from that site is equal to the number of hits I got from Russia today. Yeah, I know. Doesn't really clear anything up. But that's what the "ew" is all about.

I also learned in my short research session today that I need to ask my audience to subscribe. Some bloggers have neat little "buttons" but I don't know exactly how to do that. My buttons disappear (which I thought I liked; very clean looking) but, they tell me, I want people to follow me. So, friends, move your mouse over to the black bar on the right. Now go to the bottom and the word "subscribe" will pop out. Click it and follow the instructions. If you're moved by anything you read, I'd love to hear from you in the comments. I mean you've already gone through the trouble of registering with google right? You might as well walk around like you own the place. If you're reading but this whole blogger thing isn't your thing, find me on Twitter @jordanb01, Instagram @penick5 or let me know you read the blog and friend me on Facebook. So wish, I had all the cool buttons for those things. I'll figure it out. One day, I WILL have buttons!!! (say it like a superhero). Paige blogs too. Probably consistently. Definitely beautifully.

If you're a visitor from a skanky website, please go take a shower before reading about me or my kids. Seriously. I'm totally grossed out.

Loving my loochies

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 20:14:00 +0000

I have a friend named Travis Nichols. Actually, I'd like to think I'm probably one of the most important people in his life. Okay, so we don't talk much. I haven't seen him in a solid 8 years or so. It MIGHT be true that our lives are very different. I live in a small town with three kids dreaming about the day I put something really creative out in the world and he lives in Brooklyn - no kids yet - creating and being cooler than me. But he's always been that so it's okay.
Oh yeah, so why am I so important to him? I was his first best friend. That's right. Being someone's first best friend makes you eternally important in that someone's life. Obviously, I helped mold him into the man that he has become. That man is mad funny and has never (that I know of since we were born) not been working on a creative project. It's not like my 3 half-finished friendship bracelets kind of "creating". It's the "just finished my latest song", "read my new comic", "I'm published!", "here's my new record", "just got finished touring," "just moved to brooklyn" kind of creating.

He's as original as they come. I can't remember a memory with him that was not filled with laughter or some new story or original song or adventure. I really don't think anyone else in my life has ever made me laugh that hard and all the time. Granted, he was the pickiest eater ever and always bogarted all the cheese slices at my house but he's vegan now so that issue has been resolved. Yep, vegan. He's like a really good guy. He respects others and the earth. He walks the walk. He lives and breaths the principles he believes in and doesn't make others feel bad if they don't do the same. I admire him immensely, so I'm just gonna go ahead and take some credit, k?

These illustrations by Travis are "loochies" representing each of my kids. I hope he doesn't mind me posting them but, like his letters from our childhood, these will be treasured always.

See more of his genius at www.ilikeapplejuice.com.

Eye Candy

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 15:54:00 +0000

Hopefully, I'll figure out how to put pictures on the main page but here are a few of our latest session with Skylar Reeves from our 15 Minutes of Fame Party. (I've already booked one for March 2013 so let me know if you want in:)

Oh, and we lost Rosie this summer. It may still be a while before I can muster up the courage to dedicate a full post but she will get one. I'm just soooo very thankful for these pictures and that she was our dog. Dang, now I'm bawling.

Inspired to Blog Again Again

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 20:59:00 +0000

I hope this is not a terrible lapse in judgement but I want to open up a little more in my blog. I don't want to stir an already well-mixed pot but at this moment in time, I'm just kinda over being REALLY PC. If you are offended or feel like I've offended someone you may know, I ask you to please not share this blog. I hope to grow this blog towards strangers and other bloggers and away from small-town gossip. I am carefully considering how and where I share this post and I, kindly ask that you not share it with anyone that you think will be hurt I will never mention names of anyone directly and if there's any trouble you can call my mom and she'll tell you that I'm a really good story-teller and I'm probably totally making it up.

I cannot believe it's almost been two years since my last post. Depressing. But I'm really going to try to keep things fairly short and simple. The temptation to try to summarize the last two years is, hopefully, something I can overcome but it goes completely against my nature (or abilities?). So, I'll blog about family and kids because they're fairly consuming but I also hope to blog about things that inspire me, handy-ish work I'm doing in my spare time (read time I should be doing other things). And, on a fairly regular basis, I'm guessing, if I keep this up, of course, my posts will be my version of confession. I think like most working and/or busy mom's, my biggest struggle is balancing responsibilities & work with kids, friendships and "me" time without a constant pang of guilt tearing away at my stomach. What IS that? So maybe if I have a record of what I feel I should kind of feel guilty about, I'll, either A) be more conscious of those things and, miraculously, my time management skills will focus and sharpen and I'll strut around a la Bridget Jones after her first date with Daniel Cleaver, with a new-found "I've got this licked" attitude OR B) see that maybe it's not all that bad. Either way, it has to be positive, right? At least for me, and, you know, things are probably just going to be more about me.

So today, I confess that my time-wasting activities are at an all-time high. Concurrently, so are the piles of things at home and work that NEED to be FINISHED (or at least addressed). Here they are more specifically:

Recording my life in a kajillion different utilities or applications, such as,

Facebook (jordan b adams penick)
Twitter (@jordanb01)
Instagram (@penick5)
Pinterest (@jordanb01)
Evernote
OmniFocus
SnapCal
the regular ol' iPhone Calendar
a paper Calendar (why not)
FourSquare
Firefox Bookmarks
Safari Bookmarks
WebClipper
Blogger (barely, I know)- so many improvements but had to relearn today

Craft-Gawker
Dwelling-Gawker
Pocket
Instructables
Online Shopping (not much buying! just PLANNING to buy!)

Amazon - okay I give them my money on a fairly regular basis
Fab.com
HauteLook
Groupon
Living Social
Gilt
Craigslist
eBay
Zappos
Fbg Online Garage Sale Group on Facebook

Thrift stores - We have 4 in town but I really only go to 2. I'll just casually mention I love a good garage sale right here, but no need for its own bullet.
Blogs & websites like Curbly, AT, Design*Sponge, and the ones I find along the way that I add to my feed
Knitting - only 20 or so rows at a time of things that do not have a plan or known purpose
Crochet - same story - Shocker!
Variety & Logic Puzzle Books - not just by the bed or in the bathroom, they're in my purse, my car, etc. Shameful. Do I think I'm on vacation?
iPhone & iPad apps & games - they get their own list

Flow - I finally beat the game and deleted it from my phone! But its still on the iPad and tempts me here and there, especially, when there is a sink full of dishes.
Song Pop Free - you HAVE to play to get the coins to buy new genres!
Matching with Friends - this really could be a freebie, because I totally backed off on Scramble with Friends
Smule Magic Piano - I discovered it through an ad from Song Pop Free. Typing it makes me want to drive home to get the iPad (so much easier on an iPad) and play. It's so relaxing but challenging and addicting. If I'm going to play, like SongPop, I HAVE to play often so I move up levels to get more coins to buy the cool songs. I can only play Fur Elise so many times but it will be worth it to play Landslide, right?

Okay, I really think that's all of it. It ended up being a much longer list than I'd hoped for but maybe it's the cleansing I need to turn a corner towards being more productive. AND, on a positive (needing a pat on the back) note, Celebrity gossip and TV aren't on the list. I didn't even know Katie left Tom until Monday! Four days in the dark on something so huge. Okay, I do watch ALL Real Housewives Series but I DVR them and catch them when I can and usually in bed. I'm pretty sure I could survive without TV (because RH episodes are online:) and it drives me crazy how much time the boys waste watching it. Shouldn't they be doing something productive? Oh, yeah. Nevermind.

After reading this list, I have NO DOUBT, everyone is flabbergasted my three-year-old is like six hand fulls of stubborn (and funny). I know willpower MIGHT be the obvious solution to some of these problems. It would also come in handy to get healthier physically and financially. But I really like the route of praying for a bail-out. Okay that's a joke. But what's NOT a joke is that I really want there to be some kind of sweet, kind, fun, happy, toddler (with a pacifier) boot camp, because that, over all the other things, makes me the most anxious. Who in the world am I? Well, I guess I know who I'm not - and that's a 26 year-old with no concept of life with 3 kids at different stages with different challenges with a husband that works in this unforgiving Texas heat with little energy to do much more with a major fixer-upper of a house purchased when the husband wasn't swinging a hammer quite as much at work, all the while "co-parenting" (if you can call it that) with a mom that is truly, seriously, and explicitly more unbelievable than any character in any novel that I've ever read. TANGENT ALERT!!! (Skip this part if you don't like controversy or people that get off-topic.) Hmmm, I haven't read it but I hear the dude in 50 Shades of Grey is pretty messed-up. If he lacked the ability or chose not to be clear about his crazy or understand his crazy or own his crazy and just did the crazy stuff without any warning that its gonna get crazy and then tried to pass off the crazy as "normal", that's where he'd converge with this, for all practical purposes, permanent fixture in my life. (You know, we're all crazy, but owning your crazy is key. That's fact, not just my opinion. Seriously. You can ask.) Oh yeah, I'm also not someone with no concept of having a husband (remember how tired he is!) in a 3 year custody disagreement with that crazy lady that shopped around for a matching crazy-lady attorney that technically harassed my tired husband with stupid motion-filings and mumbo jumbo annoying enough for a mediator to lose focus of WHAT'S BEST FOR THE CHILDREN AS WRITTEN IN THE TEXAS FAMILY CODE and encourage my tired husband to compromise with said crazy -ladies when there's NO question, my husband never should have been put in the position to decide. *deep breath* Because the LAW should have protected him from that. And I know a judge likes a mediator that keeps it out of court, but I'm pretty sure I will FOREVER have a bad opinion of mediators. If you happen to be a mediator, I am willing to hear you out and look forward to discussing, when and where and why Texas Family Law staying out of court trumped the best interest of the children or the actual Code being upheld and, at what point, your personal conscience might kick in during a mediation and you will have the balls to say, this is absurd and a judge needs to hear it and Parent A is frivolous and hasn't fulfilled ONE obligation set forth in temporary orders or the orders from the previous TWO mediations and Parent B has ONLY followed through on everything he/she was "ordered" to do and worked his/her tail off to pick up the slack for Parent A. If you're a judge, we also need to talk about your districts mediation culture. It is a term. It is.

Dang, where was I? Anyway, I'm owning that I have a few issues. But I think some guilt comes from becoming more okay all the time with not getting everything done?! I have, what I believe to be, excellent relationships with all three kids. They are healthy. We do own a home, no matter how much fixing up it needs. I love this small town. We have an insane amount of support from our extended families. When I get through the paper monster I have staring me down at the bakery, I'm excited about new ideas and projects on the horizon. I still, somehow, believe that I will figure out how to squeeze in writing a novel at some point or, at least, an advice column of some sort (hello, I'm obviously a genius about everything and therefore qualified to advise the world. obviously). Pretty sure I'm about to discover more hours in a day and take my crafting and creating by storm and an awesome jewelry or accessories or handmade home-decor business just might magically appear, while being the perfect wife, mom, stepmom, employee, and booster club and/or PTA member and/or officer(s). Luckily, all of my unplanned wordiness - the exact opposite of the "short & sweet" I promised in the beginning - just helped me discover that I do know something that I am and it's actually what I've always been: an optimist. Maybe I'm not always moving in a forward direction but I never lose faith that I will.

All By Himself

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 04:41:00 +0000

A few weekends ago, Derrek, Cash & I went to Brownwood to see Mimi & Grandpa Steve. Most people know that Cash is a very active, fun-loving, and often, mischievous kid. He wants to do EVERYTHING by himself. He wants to hold the drink or the fork by himself. He climbs in & out of his car seat and the car by himself. He wants to "wok" everywhere by himself. If I try to hold his hand or guide the drink, a grunt, whine or full-on tantrum ensues. He will even stop what he's doing in a stand-off fashion if I hold my hand close enough to catch him if he falls. It seems we're standing-off quite alot these days since this particular mom of an overactive, adventurous toddler happens to be completely neurotic when it comes to any level of physical danger. I really really reeeeeaaaallly want him to wear a helmet if he's awake. Don't worry! I haven't actually put a helmet on him but I cannot say for sure that won't happen at some point yet. Anyway, my point of this post (a point would be nice, right?) is that he was kind of different this weekend without Blake & Ashley around. Most of you know they live with us all but four days out of the month so it makes sense that he's not quite himself without his two sidekicks (or servants that he constantly bosses around). He was clingy and needy and shy and timid. We went to the Brownwood Reunion and he wouldn't pet the animals in the petting zoo or jump in the jumpy castles or slide or play in the huge tubs full of corn (you read that right). We missed the kids too but it was nice to soak in some good Cash time in the middle of volleyball, football (cheer), & soccer season. The best example of quality time I can think of is when I shove fast food to him in the backseat as we run all over the place.

Rocking on Mimi's porch.

Back off, Bambi.

Hiding from the scary petting zoo animals.

Derrek really wanted him to love the pot-bellied pig (can barely see it's hind end).

Bambi freaked him out but he's handling the camel well?

Nope. out of the corn.

He acted like he didn't even know what to do.

I'll just take a new bike. (We had to pry him off of this thing kicking & screaming.)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

In other news

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 00:11:00 +0000

I'm hoping this iPhone app will get me back on track with my blog. It's cool if you're not holding your breath. :) While you continue to inhale & exhale, enjoy some pictures from this summer.

And this app is officially awesome.

First day of 2nd grade & 8th grade. Totally cool if time wants to stop now.

Picking up some school supplies for the sibs... He's a multi-tasker.

First ride on a carousel at the Gillespie County Fair. Removing him from the horse without anyone getting hurt was especially a challenge. He grew attached very quickly.

Last day of our mini vacation to the beach... Stopped in SA to pick up some school clothes.

Same day. Target dressing room floor.

Still in the target dressing room. The person before us didn't clean out the dressing room.

Long night at the PBR

He can totally play super Mario brothers. Well HE thinks he can.

Just the boys (with cousin Rance).

Road trips to CO can get a little hairy.

Big pimpin in a knee brace & aviators. Totally the latest trend in baby wear. Swear.

Summer locks (took some bleach but its gone now).

He's very loving....sometimes doesn't know when he may have given to many kisses (if there is such a thing).

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Anniversary Worth Blogging About

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 05:18:00 +0000

I'm about to miss the actual anniversary but today marks two years since Derrek & Chris's surgeries. Each surgery changed it's patient forever and for the better. Thankfully, they remain healthy & that day two years ago is even easy to forget sometimes in the daily hustle. Now, derrek works for Chris. It feels right that they see each other. Even though neither is quite comfortable expressing it on a regular basis, their mutual respect & support of each other is obvious.

I'm still so proud of you, Derrek! It was never a question, I know, but that doesnt make it any less brave.

Mother's Day Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:22:00 +0000

So, Mother's Day is a sensitive day in our household. The first mother's day after Derrek & I got married, I was a little forgotten. Actually, you could go as far to say totally forgotten. I didn't expect anything big. I didn't want a gift or flowers. I just wanted one of the 3 people that made me feel like a mother (Derrek, Blake & Ashley) to maybe say Happy Mother's Day to me. Many of my close friends and family know that since the second Derrek & I decided to be in a relationship, my devotion to Blake & Ashley was even consuming at times. They filled my heart like I'd never known. They let me in and I jumped in with both feet. Loving them and feeding them and dressing them and taking them to school and helping with homework and doctors and disciplining them (even when I didn't really know what I was doing) and, well, you get the point. I'd spent the previous Mother's Days helping them prepare special things for their mom and I know to them, their mother, OF COURSE, is what mother's day is about. But I thought, now that I was OFFICIALLY their step-mom, I'd get a little recognition. I'm not here to bash any of them either! Step families are tricky business. I am part of a step-legacy at this point. I get the drill. In fact, until Blake & Ashley left that day with their mom, I don't think even I realized how high I'd gotten my hopes that they would be as excited as me on that day that I had made the "mom club" even by marriage! I'm thinking my mom even made a call to my husband that day. When I got home from work, there was a card and flowers and hugs and apologies. He appreciated my devastation in a way - not because I was sad but just because it kind of startles you sometimes when others, even relatives, love your children so much. I really understand that now that I have Cash. So, we've had some growing pains. This year, Blake & Ashley are with their mom until this evening and Cash has been with my mom all weekend. (I'm about to walk out the door to meet her halfway to pick him up). Ashley texted this morning "Hey George". Then she called an hour or two later because she needed me to do something for her. Still, a little phrase was missing from our conversation. Derrek (always on his Mother's Day game now) & his brother, Dac cooked an awesome breakfast for everyone this morning and I told Derrek she'd forgotten. He disappeared for a bit and then a text from her magically appeared! "Happy Mother's Day!!!" I was a little bummed this morning but the more I think about it, the better I feel. If I had to write down the ways and times I've taken my mother for granted or probably forgotten to say "Happy Birthday" or "Happy Mother's Day" or "Happy Anniversary" or, even "how are you?" or "how are you feeling?" Or "what can I do for you?" I'd have a book that weighed more than I could carry. I have no doubt in my mind that Blake & Ashley love me as much as I love them. Mother's Day isn't needed to reaffirm that fact. In fact, I'm going with the philosophy that these small oversights actually mean that they love me as deeply as I love my own mother. I'm kidding myself to think I'm as unselfish and as giving and as unconditionally loving and as devoted and as self-sacrificing as she has been to me and my sister but I know she's been a good coach and there's an excellent probability that some of her has rubbed off on me. One day, they'll remember all by themselves to say Happy Mother's Day but by being who they are I'm reminded daily that I'm where I'm supposed to be in life. This is the day I get to relish in that.

Here we are.

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Fri, 07 May 2010 04:03:00 +0000

Older. Changed. Silly. Happy. Together.

How Sad

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:04:00 +0000

I'm STILL here!!!! Please don't leave! I have no idea how I'm getting from one day to the next because it's all a blur! Here's what we need to talk about sometime in the near future when I'm not helping cook lunch at the bakery and just running to the office to "do payroll" (I really am doing it but I'm doing this too. Surely Destiny & Lea don't read this thing anymore right?). Cash is one. With MOLARS. Not walking yet...but I promise we'll get into that soon. Pictures too. I've missed an entire soccer season, an entire volleyball season and football (cheerleading) season. Blake & Ashley are with us full-time now, for a little while at least, and we're loving that. Cash REALLY loves it. Seventh grade is kicking our butts; there's tons of practices, homework, tests. Derrek & Cash have had birthdays. We've finally got lunch going at the bakery now. We've been at it a whole week. We're buying a house. Derrek's work has been a rollercoaster but we're hanging in there. Also, my mom and Steve just bought an awesome new house! No, it's not in Fredericksburg, unfortunately, but I haven't lost hope. Cash and I are headed up there tonight to help pack some things up. I think that about sums it up. So we'll delve into details very soon friends! I know I always say that but I've got pictures that are worth the wait. Promise. Here's a Halloween teaser:

8 months (July 3)

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 06:00:00 +0000

the beach!

the sibs!

all Daddy

big boy

Compromise

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:04:00 +0000

So, I blogged my heart out tonight. Okay, that's not completely accurate. I posted as many pictures as I could tonight. My goal is to do the same with July, August and September (so far) by the end of the week. I'm dying to blog witty and even, wordy posts but there are not enough hours in my days these days so I'm reduced to picture-posting until I get caught up. See you soon!

Soccer Camp (Still Blogging June, Friends)

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:15:00 +0000

The Sharks (T-ball 2009)

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:45:00 +0000

Once again, Blake played teeball this year. This year, however, Derrek was a coach and I think it was a great experience for both of them. It taught Derrek a good lesson in patience and it taught Blake how to be a leader since he was one of the oldest boys on the team this year (only 5 & 6 year-olds play). This year, of course, he was faster, hit the ball more and understood what was going on. Another highlight was that Brooklyn was on our team this year. It was perfect for me because I got to spend a LITTLE bit more time with Rebekah. Ahhh, I miss teeball:)

Aunt Niffer’s Birthday at the Beach (in June)

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:17:00 +0000

Cash & I took a very spontaneous trip to Port Aransas to see my very good friend, Jennifer for her 30th birthday. We had a blast with Aunt Niffer and Aunt Jessica (another college friend). Jenn decided to start her weekend with a throwback to our infamous LA trip for the Grammy’s a few years back by camping out at the beach for about 7 hours waiting for me to pick her up. Long story but one highlight is when someone offered to get her something to eat because she looked homeless with her big bag. After I rescued her, we stopped at the grocery store and waited in a ferry line for over an hour (it was Friday afternoon about FIVE o’clock; great planning) to get to Jenn’s sister’s beach house. This place was AWESOME! I want to move in. Cash loved the sand and the waves and I even lucked into a babysitter for Jenn’s birthday night and got to go to Sharkey’s. I’ve heard a lot about that place and had a much needed night of jamming out to classic Michael Jackson and my Britney Spears.

Our beach ride. He loved facing forward with the wind in his hair!
He loves his Aunt Niffer!

All kinds of room to crawl and play at the beach house.

Wake up, girls! I want to play!

That means you, Niffer!

Mama & Cash

What you can't see in this picture is that I'm surrounded by the ladies. They loved me!

Stella & Dot

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:49:00 +0000

I really am not sure why in the world I wanted to add anything to my plate but Stella & Dot found me and I couldn't pass it up! I'm selling this fabulous but affordable jewelry (over half the line is under $50) via my website (www.stelladot.com/jordanpenick) and in-home trunk shows. The trunk shows are pretty much just parties with snacks, fun people and pretty jewelry. The jewelry truly sells itself so I don't have to learn any awkward or embarassing speeches. I really got involved because I love the jewelry. Stella & Dot is a modern company that wants its sales team to be who they are and not imprisoned in a pair of panty hose. If you read any magazines or watch the Bachelorette, you've seen Stella & Dot. I have a feeling you're about to see it even more blow up. So when you hear about it, just remember me. Throw a party and invite me over. I'll bring the jewelry, you fix some cocktails. It will be fun.

P.S. I'm having a launch party on Thursday, August 6 at the Fredericksburg Bakery from 7-9 pm. I'd love to have you.

Oh and P.P.S. if you have a husband or boyfriend or partner or friend or dad or brother that's needs a little help in the gifts department, send them my way. I can help them out.

We'll Miss You, Ringo!

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 21:59:00 +0000

Last week we lost a member of the family. It was traumatic for all of us but mostly for me because I was driving the car that killed him. It was just me and Cash in the car so the kids didn't see it. He actually walked away from the accident but the internal damage was too severe so we had to put him down. It was a very hard good-bye for me. Let me say, too, that Derrek was so wonderful that day. I'm a basketcase when it comes to saying any sort of good-bye and, even though Derrek was emotional as well, he walked me through the whole thing. He left work immediately to help get Ringo some help, make the hard decision, say our good-byes, hold him as he took his last breath, hold me after that, dig his grave and put stones on top of it and tell the kids. I really don't know how I would have made it through the day without him. Those are the moments you understand why God matched you with a guy that can't get his socks to the dirty clothes. Ever.

Ringo was such a loving dog. He was completely devoted to every member of this family. He always wanted to be a lap dog but didn't complain or get mad at us that he wasn't. Since we moved out to the Penick's he's smelled like a skunk about 85% of the time. He had a fat butt, a good heart and a penchant for chasing raindrops. I miss the comfort of him sleeping right outside the door to protect us. I miss his smelly snuggles. I miss his incessant licking. I miss the smile on his face. I miss him every morning when he used to greet me after he slept under my car for the night and I'll always wonder why he stayed there that Tuesday morning.

Here's how we said good-bye...

(no idea why this picture is turned!)

Seriously

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:44:00 +0000

I'm a broken record and I realize this. Blogging is on the backburner these days. I'm still working at Root and the bakery doing the books. I've finally started taking Cash to a babysitter a couple of days a week. It was hard the first time but OH does it feel good to actually be productive! Not that spending all day with a child can't be productive but trying to give your all to work and your child at the same time feels anti-productive, if that's a word. I know many of my friends have felt this pain. Anyway, Destiny, Lea and I have also jumped (with both feet!) into transitioning the bakery. From the old to the new. From bakery to bakery plus (beer, wine, lunch). From Mike to the three of us. From country blue to turqoise. We have high hopes for revamping the bakery and building the business and we hope to kick off the first phase of our takeover during Octoberfest. Many things have to happen without a hiccup for this to actually take place but we're still hopeful. I had no idea what to expect when we started this but I have to say, it has been a blast so far. I know we have many years to go and lots of hard work ahead of us but spending my days with Lea and Destiny with similar goals in mind, has been fun. The point of this story, is just to convince my readers (if there are any left!) that I've added one more thing to the overflowing "plate". It feels great! Tonight, I've tried to catch up on some posts I started TWO months ago (see Cash's Baptism from May & the Horn Family Reunion from June) and see really how far behind I am. 10 posts behind to be exact. Probably 750 pictures to sort through. But I can do this. One post at a time right?

Cash Hearts Ashley

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:48:00 +0000

Cash truly loves both of his siblings. He's completely mesmerized by the both of them. Maybe it's just that Ashley is more capable with him but his awe reaches a higher level with her. Unless he's starving, he reaches for her before me in many cases. Don't worry because I LOVE IT! They're so happy together and she is a fabulous babysitter.

Mutton Bustin'!!!

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:35:00 +0000

This past weekend was the Stonewall Peach Jamboree (Rodeo) and Blake, Cole & Rance decided to try their hands at mutton bustin (sheep ridin'). Blake has really grown in so many ways in the last year. Besides the physical (taller, less baby face) and social (not at all as shy, listens very well) there is the mental/emotional growth. Last year, he had no interest in riding those crazy sheep. This year he stood at the end of the line and watched everyone else go before him. He saw plenty of them crash and burn and shed some tears and he still went for it! Not only did he go for it, that little sucker won!!!

Ever seen a mutton bustin' champion with a green mohawk? Didn't think so.

Here's the video.

Horn Family Reunion

noreply@blogger.com (jordanb) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:41:00 +0000

Last weekend, Cash and I met, Aunt Traci, Sam, Alice, Ruby, Mimi and Grandpa Steve (Ruby has renamed him Peepaw!) in Brownwood and traveled to Weatherford for the Horn Family Reunion. My maternal grandmother was Wilma Horn. She had four sisters. Clara Ruth (Aunt Sister) was the oldest and died in 1978. Wilma was then the oldest to Aunt Ila, Aunt Mary and Aunt Reba. You may recall, 4 days before Cash was born, my grandmother passed away. She had never missed a reunion and I definitely was missing her this weekend! It was a great time for Mom and my Aunt J'Lyn to visit with all of their first cousins. They all were lucky enough to grow up fairly close together and it's neat to see the distance and years between their get-togethers just fall away. They all laugh easily together and share and equally appreciate their joint upbringings. As usual, I was able to get a few money shots of Cash when we were there. My sister and I stayed an extra night at Mom & Steve's after the reunion. I miss my family:)

Mom, J'Lyn and their Horn Family cousins

Bathtime with Mimi

Do you think he knows he's cute?

Love this picture! I'm not really sure why she got so upset...

This may be one of my all-time favorite pictures.

Saying our good-byes..A slimey kiss for Alice.

A slimey kiss for Sam.