I only have simple dreams but neither of them are within reach.

Or were they really simple?

How I wish there was a place where I can go every time I wanted to be detached from the world and be numb from heartache’s blows, from job’s responsibilities, from being a mother, from being a friend, and be just ME– ALL ALONE.

You’re starting to make me realize, I don’t want to bring any more pain in your life. And the only way to do that is to be far from you. Far enough that you wouldn’t feel my existence.

I’d rather take all the pain, the heartaches; for my love’s sake.

Mid-year evaluation this AM.

When I was asked what do I think of my job, I couldn’t help but cry. I was surprised when I felt that I was about to shed tears. Why? My boss asked me why? What’s wrong?

Part of it was because I have kept myself from crying the past week [obviously because of what happened with me & chwing chwing], another part was because of the huge project I was expected to accomplished by the end of 2008.

We chatted. There was an arguement, which I did not really considered as one because I was just merely asking him to clarify some thing [missing you too.. wrong send]. He got stressed out, said things that was painful on my part. Right there & then, I felt so unworthy, so useless. Because it seemed that everytime I say something, everytime I do something, it would only hurt him.

Say what you want to say

Play this game your way

It’s over anyway

You didn’t give it up for love

Take what you want to take

Take back the words you’ll say

They never mattered anyway

You didn’t give it up for love

No you didn’t give, give it up for love

When I look through the photographs

And I see the smile on your face

I remember how you used to feel

And I see how much has changed

Say what you want to say

I’ll carry on the same

Maybe I’ll look back someday

You didn’t give it up for love

No you didn’t give, give it up for love

Say what you want to say

Play this game your way

You will know someday

You didn’t give it up for love

No you didn’t give, give it up for love

Never should I have given enough up for love, for it just caused me unbearable heartaches.

It don’t matter to the sun if you go or if you stay

No, the sun is gonna rise, gonna rise

Shine down on another day.

There will be tomorrow if you choose to leave

Cause it don’t matter to the sun, no, no

IT MATTERS TO ME

It ain’t gonna stop the world if you walk out that door

This world just keeps spinning round, spinning round

Like it did the day before

Cause to them it makes no difference

It just keeps on keeping time

Cause it ain’t gonna stop the world, no

BUT IT WILL BE THE END OF MINE

So what can I say? What can I do?

I’m still in love. Why aren’t you?

Cause it don’t matter to the moon if you’re not in my life

No, the moon will just keep hanging round, hanging round

Like it’s just another night

Who find another place to shine on some other lover’s dreams

Cause it don’t matter to the moon, no, no

IT MATTERS TO ME

Every thing else will carry on..

Do just what they’re used to..

Go about their daily lives..

But YOU.

continued making my quarterly report. i had to encode & include photocopy data, which i had to get to someone who does the photocopying.

cried a bit in the office while chatting with chwing chwing. it was hard to hide it because i really wanted to cry so hard.

he said to just forget about it. didn’t want to try yet again, though.

it’s fine with me. i understand. at least, i am at peace already knowing that he has already forgiven me.

a very tiring day for me at work.

i had to finish 2 reports, weekly & quarterly, which are due this friday.

the school inventory is still afloat. [& just a thought of it makes me want to faint]

curly has a fever that’s why she was not able to go to school. i hope she gets well by tomorrow because it’s their halloween party & their theme is prince, princess, super heroes.

chwing chwing is still in ignore-hate me mode ;-(

OMG!

I just noticed the date of my last post {20.December.2007}

A few more months & it’s going to be already a year old.

What have I been doing??? Hmmm.. **ponder ponder ponder**

>> finished college [graduated 11.May.2008]

>> job hunting [currently working as an administrative assistant in a international school]

>> fell in love

>> fell out of love [not really.. uhm, just had misunderstandings- countless misunderstandings]

But now I am back again.

Wish I could post on a regular basis **crossing finger**

.. sung by PLUMB

I said some things
To you I think that
I shouldn’t have said
I spoke out of turn
And hurt you I’ve learned that
It hurts me back

Oh, what could be
Worse than me
Losing you?

What if you
Never came back?
What would I do
Without you?

I got in the car
Turned on the lights
And the radio
I drove really fast
And I cried harder
Than you know

Oh, where were you
And why did I
Say those things?

Is there any way
You can forgive me for
What I’ve done?
Is there any way
You could love me still
For being so wrong?
Can you forgive me?
Can you forgive me?

.. should really be careful with what we wish for.

.. at times we are eager to get the things we are dying to have.

.. but later on realizes we are not ready & we want to take it back.

.. worse, we do not want it after all.

.. worst, people that matters to us get hurt.

.. no person can fully understand us. They will try only to get upset in the end.

.. lyrics / sung by BRYAN WHITE

.. will pass for a wedding song. Sweeet!!!

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn’t have a prayer, didn’t have a clue
Then out of the blue

God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that Im worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it overflows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I’m finally free
I truly believe
In your arms, Im someone new
With every tender kiss from you
I must confess, I’ve been blessed