The Whimsy CrusaderRants of Reverie

This is the dumbest RETWEET involving Aurora. CHILL PEOPLE

2012-07-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

God Damn People!

Can we wait at least 24 hours before bitching about Race? Let the police and FBI do their work. We're ALL pissed off. We're all impatient. We're all sad. Naturally some shit is gonna come out sideways but let's stop RETWEETING this stupid ass tweet. It does NO good. (And it's total bullshit)

First, I'd like to point out the definition of terrorism.

ter·ror·ism/ˈterəˌrizəm/

Noun:

The use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.

Synonyms:
terror

(I left the graphics in there so you know this is legit from the Internet haha)

See the end of it? "Political Aims" Has there been any discovery of any ideology or political motivation for this stupid fuck's mass shooting? Not yet. Chill.

Let's do a fun test. I will post 5 pictures, then you try to guess what the media labeled them. I will give you a hint. None of them were called thugs. ( Are these the same people who claim Biggy and Tupac got assassinated? SMH)

PS if you even know who they all are you already pass.

Only TWO were called terrorists. Can you pick them?

What did they call the black guy I bet you want to know. (He shot and killed 13 people, as many as the evil psycho yesterday)

Who is this dude above the brother? "Eww i don't like him, his eyes are too close together. I'd pull him aside at the airport."

IDK who is it? Once he dumped 49 dismembered bodies onto a highway. HE is currently wanted by the FBI and Mexican Federales. If you've seen him there is a 5 million dollar reward. He isn't considered a terrorist though, he's a drug lord. I guess that's cooler then a thug or gangsta.

Let's skip the guy above Chapo, he's a Muslim who killed Israelis in a bombing in Bulgaria recently. Terrorist (political motive)

Above him? The brown Muslim looking guy- "well surely he's a terrorist right?" NOPE Though he is a Muslim and he killed over 13 people and injured many more at FORT HOOD, A military base, they didn't put him on trial as a terrorist. Not enough proof.

"OMG you need proof to put people on trial as a terrorist?"

(arguably, yes)

Here's another kicker, he still hasn't been convicted. The trial won't happen until next August. As of now he still collects disability and his pension from prison. How fucked up is that?

The first guy is obviously Timothy McVeigh. He bombed shit. He was a terrorist. Remember last year, the dude in Norway? He blew up a building AND shot kids on a retreat- he was a terrorist. (and White in case you thought Norway was in Africa)

Here's a question. How many black people do you think were arrested working with Greenpeace, or protesting the World Bank and IMF in Seattle? Do you know how many WHITE PEOPLE were arrested and accused of TERRORISM ? Tons. It's considered a politically motivated crime, be it property damage or just trespassing. There are dudes in prison for tying themselves to trees and blowing up trash cans.

So why the fuck are we complaining about if psycho killer yesterday is a "terrorist" or not? Clearly, thus far, he isn't. He's just a scumbag psychopath who went on a murderous rampage like the columbine kids and the fucker at Virginia Tech.

One of my favorite rock songs...

2012-07-05T12:06:00.003-07:00

Day after day
I will walk, and I will play
But the day, after today
I will stop, and I will start

Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Believe me,
Somethings I wouldn't miss
But I look at you pants and I need a kiss.

Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me,
I'd know what to do.
But something won't let me make love to you.

Why can't I get just one fuck?
Why can't I get just one fuck?
I guess it's got something to do with luck
But I've waited my whole life for just one

Day after day
I get angry
And I will say
That the day is in my sight
When I take a bow and say goodnight

Oh my my my my my oh my mum
Have you kept your eye
Your eye on your son?
I know you've had problems
You're not the only one
When your sugar left, he left you on the run

Mo my my my my my mo my mum
Take a look now
Look what your boy has done
He's walking around like he's number one
You went downtown and got him a gun.

Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
But don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
But don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me

Broken down kitchen at the top of the stairs
Can I mix in with your affairs?
Share a smoke, Make a joke
Grasp and reach for a leg of hope
Words to memorize, words hypnotize
Words make my mouth exercise.
Words all fail the magic prize
Nothing I can say when I'm in your thighs

Oh my my my my my mo my mother
I would love to love you lover
City's restless
It's ready to pounce
Here in your bed from ounce to ounce
Sayin' oh my my my my my mo my mother
I would love to love you lover
The city's restless
It's ready to pounce
Here in your bed from ounce to ounce

I've given you a decision to make
Things to lose, things to take
Just as she's about ready to cut it up
She says
Wait a minute honey I'm gonna add it up
Add it up (x8)
Day after day
I get angry and I will say
That the day is in my sight
When I take a bow and say goodnight

Huffpost's MAJOR Gaff. Adele = Prince

2012-06-16T01:47:00.002-07:00

SM damn H!

look at this seemingly positive, harmless "stat"

It's got ADELE fans all proud.

The tweet itself isn't that bad, but the article in it's link is as shameless as ever.

First of all it's on twitter. Adele's fans, though a decently broad demographic, mostly weren't even born in 1984. So I'd like to put this "tie" in some context. They're both atop the Album charts the same amount of time. That's TRUE... but... Here are a few basic questions.

1. Who are they competing with?

Here is a list of the top albums the last few months competing with Adele.

Let me know if you've heard of them all.

Big Krit?
Alan Jackson?
John Mayer
One Direction
Luke Bryant?
Curren$y?

THOSE ARE ALL TOP TEN ALBUMS THIS YEAR!

OK, are you ready?

Here are a "few" of the albums out in 1984 during Prnce's similar streak. I bet, even though you weren't born, you've heard of these ones.

Van Halen - 1984
Bruce Springstein - Born In The USA

Oh wait, you know what, i'm too damn lazy to list them ALLLLLL

Madonna was fucking 18th! Hello?

Do you feel like a virgin?

Look at this list. it's insane. Adele couldn't touch any of these albums. This stat is so so so stupid.

HOW MANY OF THESE BANDS IN THE TOP 40 HAVE YOU HEARD OF?
NOW COMPARE IT TO THE LIST for 2012.

Obviously she is a great singer but... how many top ten singles did her album have?

3?

His album had all these songs, recognize any of them?

"Let's Go Crazy"	4:39
2.	"Take Me with U" (with Apollonia Kotero)	3:54
3.	"The Beautiful Ones"	5:13
4.	"Computer Blue"	3:59
5.	"Darling Nikki"	4:14
6.	"When Doves Cry"	5:54
7.	"I Would Die 4 U"	2:49
8.	"Baby I'm a Star"	4:24
9.	"Purple Rain"

You know what else, that same year he won a grammy for a song called I Feel For You, a little ditty he wrote for a girl named Chaka Khan?

Heard of those?

I get it, the hype and shit.. Adele's album was a breath of fresh air and clearly she is talented but still.. let's not be ridiculous. You can't compare "sales" now with then. It's just not the same. Also the sales tracking device they use now wasn't even invented until the 90s! Its all BS.

Again, Madonna was 18th. Hello. How about U2, REM, Husker Du, Hewey Lewis, The Smiths, The Replacements, Ratt, Tina Turner, Nick Cave, The Cars, Lou Reed, Talking Heads, Don Henley, Minor Threat, sade, bobby womack, frankie goes to hollywood, metallica! All out that same year. all better then Alan Jackson!

GIVE ME A BREAK!

Adele has no competition so who cares...?

stupid stat.

yes she moved some albums, a lot of them.

and?

Did you know that there is 2.2 BILLION more people in the world today then in 1984.

look it up.

that's a lot of itunes clicks.

Adele is no prince. and never will be.

the end.

Caption This

Juice Fast - After a Week

2012-05-24T23:07:00.001-07:00

In case you've been under a rock I am on day 7 of my juice only cleanse/fast. I do a cleanse of some sort once or twice a year depending on how i feel.

This was spurned by some annoying (minor) health issues and being "skinny fat" Not a hot look.

So, day 7... not much to talk about. I have experienced no side effects whatsoever. Not even one headache. I had some dizzy spells getting up too fast but that was before i had my "breakfast" I even played some soccer on day five... though fatigued quicker then normal. I think the ease of this one is due to the fact that i did a three week fast just last September. But I am no expert.

I "cheated" a few times this past week in a pinch, having an oddwalla or naked juice, nothing wrong with that except for the mango which was pureed. I'm meant to not have any solids... which leads me to...

I think I am gonna strain ALL my juice from now on and eliminate all store bought juice entirely except for pure unsweetened coconut water. I have had regular BMs the whole time... maybe a little dehydration as well. (I am awful about drinking water, always have been) Nothing as dramatic as the many master cleanses I've done.

Weight loss has been par for the course, though it seems to have come off a little faster then normal. I guess thats a good thing. I still have loads to burn off but you can really only lose 2-3 lbs of pure body fat per week anyways. My goal is to get down to 190. The length of this fast though will be determined by how i feel. Do i feel better? cleaned out? Did my cravings go away? Did i lose hunger pains? On the 21 day fast I was frustrated because I never lost the hunger... whereas on a 10 day master cleanse i seemed to reach that moment in the first week. No hunger or cravings and some seriously weird stuff coming out. Hopefully straining my juice will help a lot. I will let you know.

Here's a pic of me half naked. Sums up how i feel. Partly sunny with a chance of pride

Pube Shaving Hall of Infamy

2012-04-02T04:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Ladies If you ever see a guy with very nicely trimmed & shapely pubes then you've struck gold.

You should take a moment to appreciate it. Clean shaven doesn't count. Good for them. I hope all the folliculitis / herpes scares are worth the extra 1/2" of penis length. More power to y'all. Put those razor bumps to work for her pleasure while you're at it.
(I keep hair there to make myself LESS intimidating fyi)

Back to the ladies, have you ever had to trim a bush... well, I mean hedge? You do it basically on 3 linear dimensions. Height, width and depth. Pain in the ass though!

How many sides do two balls have? Now try to fade that into thigh hair. Try to trim two spheres evenly into some thigh hair AND maintain a decent looking treasure trail.

Holy shit.

I've tried it like 6 times. With a clippers and a comb to keep shit level and safe.

IT looks like a lawn with a dead patch from a kids swimming pool and some sunflowers on the side with bike tracks through the middle. It's like a chia pet that grew with one of it's clay feet broken off.

Imaging trying to sculpt the dark side of the moon.

Its like trying to get the peanut butter out of the crevices at the bottom of the Skippy jar with a spoon...

I got one ball with a fucking old man comb over and the other with an army private hair cut. It's like that awkward old man / young man gay Internet "date" at the bar.

One ball drinking red devils while the other sips vodka rocks and grins.

Idk what a girl would think if she unzipped my pants.
(when she came too after feinting obv)

Prolly, "did he roofy me?"

Then,

"Jesus, did I chew off his pubes in the excitement?"

(yes)

Im just gonna say I fell asleep in the park and a honey badger mistook my shit for a snake with a weave OR, if it's a hippy chic, that I fell asleep in the park and some Sparrows stole my hair for their nests... 1000 thread counts.

Hey, Did you know my pubes dissolve in lukewarm water? It's true. Sometimes I use them as a substitute for chicken stock. Want my recipe for chicken run down?

If you put my pubes in a bag of Cheetos they'll turn Orange. Chameleon powers.

That's why you never see them on a bar of Irish Spring! Have a look!

I have to go shower now.

I hope you've enjoyed my pubic hair blog. If you know a place a guy can go for a trim let me know.

From my perspective I've got mutton chops down there. Maybe it'll streamline my sweat straight to the wall. IDK

killer rabbit

2012-03-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

I love this one...

To my Ex Friends Etc (you know who you are =)

2012-03-19T02:32:00.000-07:00

This post is definitely whimsical. I am not penning it in malice, hate or bitterness. It's been at least 2 years since anyone i'm thinking about right now has even been in my life. I do not hold any grudges against anyone particularly.. It's just that, all these months later, I sit here with out any clue why These people no longer talk to me or even keep in touch. Even when my dad died they didn't say shit. SMH

Three of my best friends in NYC in the last 3 years- CRICKETS. And these shit bags are all friends with each other... it's like a a circled wagon of dysfunction.

A normal writer writing a bit would try to qualify himself/herself here as the normal person, who's done no wrong, who was blind sided by some irrational behavior and, consequently, marginalized by so and so's drug binge, lack of judgement, jealousy, craziness or lack of respect. But I won't. It's pointless. Either you've met people like this or you haven't.

If you wanna assume I am being emo here, and that I am passive aggressively whinging here, fair enough. Stop reading and move on. No worries. I certainly don't want to spread negativity.

Shit, almost all of these people aren't even my friends online anymore. Sort of the standard Op.. guilty conscious, out of sight out of mind... denial. what have you. Simple psychology, denial. Stop listening. Ignore someone's voice etc. Oh wait, Am I being emo again? (haven't contacted these people in ages)

All these people had two things in common. (Male and Female, gay or straight) They were all very attractive and very charismatic. They were all spoiled for choice. I was drawn to them by their charisma, intelligence and pseudo playfulness (mind you, platonic friends mostly here!) Gay roomy, best male friend, best female friend (gay) platonic female friend then GF, etc.

Most interesting, they all, at some point or another, leaned on me for shelter, food, drinks out etc. Not one night or two, I mean, weeks of shelter. Months even. I wasn't running a hostel but I did give them ALL their first place in NYC. Gave them all a chance to stand on their own two feet. I gave them all a fucking home. Not just physically, but emotionally. I was always there for them. Always. It is how I was raised.

As far as i recall I never did wrong by them, never fucked any of their friends, cheated, talked shit behind their back nor neglected them. I never judged them, gave up on them, abandoned them or stopped caring for them. Even to this day.

None of them will read this.

I guess they all can fuck off, actually.

feel better...

REWIND- After a while it takes it's toll. You go to NYC as a real solid, complete and good person. You try to do right by people and you get this. (above) Listen, I am not some trust fund kid who gave my couch to stoners.. this isn't that story. I am talking about living for or with these people and having them in mind daily. Pulling for them and appreciating them, for what they (supposedly) brought to me, good or bad. Trying to help them with anything they need help in, people, jobs, fun, love. Anything.

Not one of these people is in touch with me today. They are all sadly, fucked up. I still keep tabs on them because, well, I love them... That's the tragedy of being a normal loving human. Ooops. The crazy thing is, on some level, none of these people, when we were friends at least, felt deserving of my love. so they all sabotaged it- and, my feelings and spirit were the casualty. This is how "crazy" people operate. they constantly fear abandonment and betrayal so the minute they feel something sincere, moving or real, they freak out and go into sabotage mode. Out of the blue.

(or the do drugs all the time and get crazy slowly... and are always under pressure from their bad crew of crack heads)

You will meet these people. There is a reason they moved to NYC, there is a reason they are "down on their luck" there is a reason they need a friend, or blah blah. .... theyre fucking useless. they are toxic. they are not worth maintaining any kind of relationship with. If one of them is reading this and feeling bad about what i am saying well, oh wait, that won't happen.

again, they are not normal empathetic people. don't be fooled. they have a screw loose!

For The last couple years If i leased out one of the rooms in my 2 BR apartment in WillBurg I always did it to strangers. And I am so glad I did.

These guys kept in touch with me. They bought me drinks when I was broke, they took me to dinner when I was sleeping on my own couch. They didn't judge me when I was down. They had empathy, humanity... they had everything so and so and so and so and so and so didnt have. So fucking ironic. The met me when I was crushed. And did more for me then all these fucktards conspired NOT to do.

AMAZING.

So to all you fucking vampires who ruined 3 years of my heart in nyc i'd like to say thank you. Thanks for making me appreciate my new friends. I truly hope you have had some kind of break through. I hope you learned how to give and not just take. Or at least stick to your medication and get by on some level of complacency with your new emotional nurse. I know you're all still well attractive. bravo. that's all you have going for you, and NYC is the best place to find enablers for your bullshit. gods speed.

KONY 2012 Meme explosion

2012-03-08T18:03:00.006-08:00

You take the good you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...

my kony meme tribute.

(all mined from the internet but not like blood diamonds)

( i made this one! =)

In fairness... here's the new, well produced video worth taking a look at. Mind you KONY is no longer in Uganda and has already been convicted of war crimes at The Hague. In 2005. So I don't know what more we can do with "awareness" and FB likes at this point. Never hurts to spread the word though.

Kony2012 Invisible Children Video

The Red Carpet (aka why I can't make any fat jokes)

2012-02-26T11:30:00.007-08:00

The apex of of my least favorite American cultural hobby is tonight. Well, later this afternoon, when hours before the Oscars C class reporters stand next to the red carpet and engage famous women in banal conversations just long enough for America to get a good glimpse at said woman's dress, shoes, skin, hair etc. It's as long and hype filled as the super bowl pre game, only they're not discussing talent or performance at all here, they're talking about fucking clothes. At least the super bowl has great commercials as opposed to these poorly set up plugs by the interviewers on the red carpet. Who's gown is that? What kind of shoes? IDK how Ryan Seacrest does it every year...

These guys...

One of the fun things for me is that 99.8%* of the people who give a shit about all this are NOT straight men. Nope.. Nor are the people who buy gossip magazines, watch royal weddings etc. There are relatively no straight men working as editors at fashion magazines or casting runway shows either. (my point later...) But does any of this stop women from being offended when I make a fat joke? Does any of this stop the knee jerk circle of traveling victimhood from pulling out the "M" word? Of course not. Why let logic and common sense ruin an opportunity to judge a man and feel better about oneself? Why let a man ruin the fantasy and fun of the day, after all, that IS why we're watching this famous and relatively attractive parade of starlets and icons in the first place, no? The vicarious validations? Not just the fantasy about being famous even but even being able to afford a pair of so and so's shoes. What fun!

If you're a man, and you're straight, you better just keep your mouth shut if you don't have anything nice to say tonight... and if you say a woman looks hot, expect a quick "her tits are fake, she spray tans" or some other hater comment from some lady who's on her third glass of Rosé

When I said Nikki Minge looked like a black smurfette dressed up like little red riding hood at the Grammies, I was racist. When I made an Adele fat joke, I was shallow. Add two insults together and that makes me, according to 97%* of the population of under grads at Sarah Lawrence, a misogynist. Yet for three hours woman across the country are gonna nit pick and talk shit about hair, dresses, body weight (calling so and so bulimic, anorexic etc) make fun of spray tans- you name it. And this is all OK, well, because they're women making fun of other women. (or gay men) If I make an Adele fat joke, or post this meme of her (below).... I am objectifying her, I've crossed the line. I'm "horrible" or shallow and mean or an asshole. It makes me laugh. It's beyond hypocritical. For the record Adele looked great and I think she's a great singer. But the fact the she is a female doesn't make her immune from jokes. That would be sexist of me, wouldn't it?

Adele finally got it all

Why's the black smurfette gotta be evil? That's racist!

Shallow to me is all this hullabaloo. Shallow to me is the wedding dress, the ring, the gossip magazines, Page 6. Don't even start with the objectification arguments... that's EXACTLY what the red carpet is! All straight men ever needed for the last 150 years was a damn tux and some polished shoes. Who's the fool here? A guy spends 60k on a sport's car and it's common knowledge* amongst women that he's a "short dick" show off just compensating. If he spends 60k on a ring? He's a prince.

"Bitch, Please" <-Gay voice.

I HATE women who "think" like this so for all you annoying women who think that makes me a misogynist, you're wrong. It actually makes me a feminist. I don't care what an actress wears to an awards show, I damn sure don't think it merits the 100 + blogs and websites and 20 magazines that will be made about it.

IF i make a joke, it's a joke. Sure it might be a "cheap laugh" it might be lazy material, but so what? If you think an Adele fat joke is just that, lazy or cheap, just say that. Don't be cliche and get all emotional and go off about objectification, misogyny and make yourself look like a foolish hypocrite at the same time.

Enjoy the show and remember a glass of Rosé wine has about 100 calories.*

* I got these statistics out of my ass

My twitter....

2012-02-25T00:25:00.000-08:00

"follow me" on twitter

touiebluey

Nearing the end of my juice fast

2011-09-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

Nearing the finish line here, I gave way to temptation and weighed myself. I made my goal of 190 lbs! That's a loss of 17 lbs in 19 days which is only a couple more then I lose when I do the master cleanse for 10 days. I feel like I lost this weight in a less drastic fashion.(with a couple days to spare, which bodes well for me) You always gain 2 or 3 pounds over night when you start eating again, just how it works. On average people can only lose around 2.5 pounds of pure body fat per week so I will have lost around 8 pounds of fat I estimate when I am done on tuesday. This fast isn't just about weight loss but it's the first thing people ask me so... there ya go.

Nothing exciting or eventful has happened. If anything I've been very bored and even anti social, its amazing how not eating or drinking can affect your social life. I think I personally suffered from low blood pressure due to a lack of any salt at times, but I am not sure. I experienced a higher then avg amount of bouts with fatigue and dizziness from that or low blood sugars as I wasn't a pro about spacing out "meals" and such- a casualty of my erratic schedule. ( 3pm and I haven't eaten anything today for example)

Here is some good info on what my body has been going through the last two weeks...

Stage 3 (Day 8 to Day 15)

On the latter part of an extended fast, you can experience enhanced energy, clear-mindedness and feel better than you have felt since childhood. On the downside, old injuries may become irritated and painful. This is a result of the body's increased ability to heal during fasting. If you had broken your arm 10 years before, there is scar tissue around the break. At the time of the break, the body's ability to heal was directly related to lifestyle. If you lived on a junk-food diet, the body's natural healing ability was compromised.

During fasting, the body's healing process is at optimum efficiency. As the body scours for dead or damaged tissue, the lymphocytes enter the older, damaged tissue secreting substances to dissolve the damaged cells. These substances irritate the nerves in the surrounding region and cause a reoccurrence of aches from previously injured areas that may have disappeared years earlier. The pain is good as the body is completing the healing process. The muscles may become tight and sore due to toxin irritation. The legs can be the worst affected, as toxins accumulate in the legs. Cankers are common in this stage due to the excessive bacteria in the mouth. Daily gargling with salt and water will prevent or heal cankers.

Stage 4 (Day 16 to Day 30)

The body is completely adapted to the fasting process. There is more energy and clarity of mind. Cleansing periods can be short with many days of feeling good in between. There are days when the tongue is pink and the breath is fresh. The healing work of the organs is being completed. After the detoxification mechanisms have removed the causative agent or render it harmless, the body works at maximum capacity in tissue proliferation to replace damaged tissue. While a short fast will reduce the symptoms, a longer fast can completely heal. Homeostatic balance is at optimum levels. The lymphatic system is clean except for a rare discharge of mucus through the nose or throat. After day 20, the mind is affected. Heightened clarity and emotional balance are felt at this time. Memory and concentration improve.

Talk To You Laters

Juice Fast Day 14 ! (update)

2011-08-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

Well I guess i felt like the every day minutia of things one feels and experiences on various days of the juice fast are pretty redundant. Weird symptoms like insomnia, bad breath, dizziness you name it All are par for the course. I didn't wanna moan about how boring it can be or isolating either... The benefits far outweigh the drawbacks! The main Qs I keep getting are

Why are you doing this?
Why cant you just EAT the foods instead of juice them?
How much weight have you lost?

1. I decided to do this to sort of "reboot" my system. I wanted a semi brainless set up. Preparing meals and eating right is just to time consuming and energy taking for me when I feel like shit... But juicing is easy. it takes 5 minutes to do and five minutes to clean up! My goals were to inject loads of vitamins and nutrients into my system, cleanse my digestive system, change my body PH, my palette and by default, my image.

2. TO "just eat" all the food I am juicing would be time consuming and painful... I juice a lot of foods! Clearly eating the foods is the long and medium term best thing to do, incorporated into a balanced diet, and that is what i hope to do when I come off my juice fast.

3. As far as my weight, IDK, I haven't weighed myself. I started around 207lbs... I imagine I've lost at least 13-14 lbs! one week left to go. You can only lose 2.5 lb of pure body fat per week I read somewhere anyway, the rest is just from not having food in my system as well as other sludge and dead cell mater, water weight etc.

I will post before and after pictures when I am done! It's a remarkable contrast already!

Here are some pics!

"Green Guiness"

Splash would bark as soon as the cukes turned ripe!

One of my juices

Berry grape and Cherry - sweet and tart!

Wheat grass shots

THANKS FOR READING!

IF YOU WANNA CONTRIBUTE 5$ TO MY VEGETABLE FUND I AM STILL SETTING UP MY PAY PAL! I AM GOING BROKE

My Juice Fast

2011-08-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

I started a juice fast yesterday!

I am going to write about it here...

The first day I eased into it, buying fresh juice and some crappy pre juiced stuff but today I got to make my own. They were ok. One was too sweet the other had a vile after taste of radishes haha.

The scariest thing is that I have spent about 25$ a day on fresh fruits and veggies...

I hope to get that down when I find better deals.

I Will be setting up my PayPal if anyone

wants to help / contribute 10$ or 20$

Anywho here are some snaps of what I made today.

(Not the proper amounts, just ingredients!)

Concord Grapes, Apple, Blackberry, Ginger

Radishes, Carrots, Plum Tomatoes, Parsley, Celery, Jalapeno

Day one - you don't notice much

Day Two - "you" feel lethargic, sleepy eyed and pee a lot haha. (results vary by person) I also had an "off" tummy from the super load of healthy things it has been deprived of lately. I def need this reboot! For those of you wondering "WHY FAST?" Well my reasons are pretty simple. I want to lose weight, balance the PH of my body, reset my taste buds and eliminate unhealthy cravings. I also just lost my father to Cancer and had a birthday so you can't help but take a hard look at yourself in the mirror. People often scoff when I tell them I need to lose a few pounds but fact is I weight 205 lbs right now. It's not a hot look. I carry most of it on my belly and chest, some puffiness in my face. Here is what I looked like 25 lbs ago. (I was in my thirties in these pics.. appx 4 years ago)

my youtube channel

2011-06-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

stay tuned for more vids

click --> http://www.youtube.com/user/WhimsyCrusader

why women like assholes... RANT

2011-02-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

RANT = run on sentences =)

disclaimer!!

I love women, respect them.
It's not my job to comment on how bad men can be.
I am only offering my opinion of how women can be,
and usually are.

As an older young man, i can safely say.. i speak for many
(men)

what we want is simple.

enthusiasm.

it's that simple.

after being rejected 13,456 times, after playing 3,745 girl-initiated qualifying games,
( i stopped in 1995 or the number would be larger) and after being unfairly judged by the irrational convictions of girls 15 years my junior or the surprising insecurities of women 15 years my senior...

i can safely say that the one thing MOST girls tend to do,
if the first date went well,
at the most pressing time,
i.e. the second date,
is grind all momentum to a halt.
back off,

and start the games.

it is so boring.

god forbid i tell the "wrong" girl i had a real nice time, or i like her. she might think i am "falling for her" and she "doesn't need that right now".. so no second date.

not even a discussion. i am assed out of my chance to make her happy by her assumptions. ME? in love with you? after one date? it happens all the time to me and my fellow male friends who express themselves, i guess girls are used to boys that act cool and don't say shit and get drunk to be intimate. its easier that way, then you can have an excuse later and retract your apparent vulnerability.

so guess who they do need?

that aloof man. the guy that DOES wait 4 days to call them after he gets there number. the man that KNOWS how to challenge the ego of a woman, to manipulate her thus, to get her to keep interest.

i.e. the asshole.

"Sorry you can't spend the night. I need to send some emails. the L train is 7 blocks to the left"

If a guy goes on a date, and does a pretty good job, at least marketing himself well enough.. he is most well to do by doing nothing after... invariably the woman will wonder why he is not texting or calling etc. EVEN if she does not like him.

you see we are all animals, we all adapt. some time between suffrage and the movie working girl.. women started to get freedoms in the dating world.. until, thanks to the poorly organized union of humans with testicles not working together.. the women got ALL the power in the dating world.

the veto. the power to judge. the whole nine.

so they act accordingly.

the result. is that there are tons of good men, that know how to be naughty (not the nice guys finishing last) who are being frustrated by these surprisingly abrupt momentum destroyers.

there is no shortage of excuses.

the average man will believe them too. because most girls do not have the nuts to say they are "just not into you" and they are to faux-humble to admit they got freaked out cuz you said they were beautiful.

so instead they will be "busy" with work or this or that. just hoping you will go away.

but in reality, if they had a hot date.. who did not express his affections-they would never be too busy for that all wonderful second or third date when the fun starts. the fucking.
who is too busy to fuck?

no one i want to know.
I'm sorry.

thats the spirit!

So better date that asshole who is gonna be aloof and too busy for you back.
a.k.a. not vulnerable

then you guys can have a wonderful relationship of never seeing each other, except when you get drunk and booty call him to see if he is attracted to you.

i mean, don't sleep with someone for your own pleasure, do it just for your ego!

it seems to me that the rush to control the dating experience by the women's side was not so well thought out.

think about this.. in the 50's the guy would ask her out, pick her up, take her home, he called all the shots, he paid etc.

antiquated, yes.

but.. he was the one being vulnerable, taking a chance asking her out.

she just said "yes or no".

no pressure.

you want all the power these days, i mean hell, you ladies know if you are getting laid at the end of the night or not, we have no clue, you could be buck naked in front of us and we STILL wouldn't know

"Oh, we're not having sex. I just want to cuddle"

So if you want the power to call all the shots, etc. then you have to be vulnerable too. you cant sit back and expect us to do all the work when it suits you, then take over when you feel like it.

it won't work.

and you will get a million billion frustrated women.

and a lot of happy assholes.

im neither. i don't play games. if i want to have fun. i make it obvious, they can feign being disrespected if they want, or they can appreciate my effort at sincerity im not bothered.

i don't have time to waste.

MOREOVER

to paraphrase....
THE CINDERELLA COMPLEX
assholes part 2

Women!!??

how long is this going to continue?? your irrational ability to live in your own embellished version of reality? It is beginning to impede, i fear, your ability to achieve gratifying, sincere relations...

case in point.

me

the 2010 REBOUNDER OF THE YEAR - MALE CATEGORY-INTERNATIONAL

women have this knack for having the worst judgement of character,
more alarming, it does not seem to be of any importance, the actual innards of a man, his character.. all that matters is what they see, be it in potential or in their private perception of him...

countless times in the last year i have been "that guy" that a recently dumped or cheated on lady turns to.. not because i am sweet, a good listener nor caring, but more so because of my willingness to play that role.. though i am actually all those Things.. it did not draw them to me..

they chose me. because they saw me as generally handsome and fun, a catch, a mojo-regenerator if you will.

they needed to feel wanted, desired, so they put out affections, flirtations, proclamations of crushdom to me, said things like "i want you to meet my family" held my hand, kissed me on the corners as we walked.. all standard issue stuff, all on the first "date"

now this behavior lasted one or two encounters, as long they need to go through their denial phase of their break up.

they said out loud, to convince themselves and perhaps comfort me as to their good intentions, that they were "over their X" etc.. as one does.

all just enough to get me to reciprocate their sentiments and proclamations of crushdom. all just enough to fulfill the dialogue requirements and affection obligations inherited with the role i accepted.

invariably after this denial phase was over, (one or two dates) when they looked back on their sudden vulnerability, or more importantly, their outwardly perceived vulnerability, which was in fact manipulation of a good man for their own private fantasy, they would use harsh judgement.

they would invariably flake on me, and then judge me to boot, hold against me all the very same things they needed to hear from me in those times we spent together...

am i complaining?

no

BUT

did it ever occur to them that i might have had feelings, or been hurt, or been sincere?

no,

does it matter?

no

you see.. to them, a fair exchange is no robbery, i got some "fun", so whats the problem?

(if the slipper was on the other foot, how would a girl react? she would be livid! "how dare you use me for a rebound" tsk tsk double standards)

do they ever acknowledge they used me? pssssh bwahaha! =)

why analyze reality? why be accountable, why feel guilty when it is easier to look back and see themselves as philanthropists of fun then manipulative and desperate women who are actually very "not over their X's nor over their pain"..?

THE rebounding was their wanting to be able to control things... their feelings... to be able to live without need of someone else... yet ironically their choice of treatments was to run out and be needed again?? a little therapy until...

they move back into that... the pain and missing part, the longing for the DREAM of whomever they pretended their boyfriend to be.. they miss that.. instead of the REALITY, that he was abusive, or a cheater, or french or what have you..

my point?

well, lets delve a little.. when they first interacted with said cheaters and Frenchmen, how did they behave?

did they manipulate them in a similar manner.. doing and saying things to get the men to do and say things.. ??? some examples.. things girls say on the first date to initiate role playing, which can lead to long term relations based on utter bullshit.

"you are just trying to sleep with me"

WHICH GETS THE COMMON MAN TO LIE, SAY
"OH NO I AM NOT", AND TELL HER WHY SHE IS "SPECIAL."

just what she needs to hear. fuck him showing her why she is special, just listen and play along, the panties will be yours.. but you are accepting this method of interaction from henceforth.

another example would be something she says to get you to complement her, or to test you and see if you will react to her moods "appropriately" etc. will you daddy her, will you be her lap dog, will you this or that.. she will poke and prod your APTITUDES to see just how good you would be at playing the role she has in mind. based on her values, be it style, income, politics, vegetarianism etc etc etc. do you go with her?? like a handbag goes with shoes?

or the classic ,is she coming over, "oh i don't do that on the first date", he says "its cool we can cuddle", she agrees, one thing leads to another and she is getting it major, giving away control with great enthusiasm and he knew it from the start he was gonna get some even though the dialogue contradicted it..cuz we have all played the role- typical bullshit. instead of being vulnerable and acknowledging strong attraction or desire to the male, she would rather play games and let circumstance, be it cuz she was drunk or that they were in bed together be the "reason" things went down... only to say something dumb in the morning like "I'm not normally like that, or "i only did that cuz i was drunk", or whatever to which any man will say,

"oh i know, your not a slut, you are sweet and i really like you"

but his actions,
not calling you ever again...
show reality.
you see the pattern?

don't let him say he likes you.. make him show it!

most women fit into these archetypes sadly.

you see, it is all ego and fear.

the ego, a women will find a man, suitable, very desirable in her estimations, on her customized-value system... it is enough to know that this man wants her.. that is her aim usually. so she will put out little manipulative vibes, showing attraction or mild interest to which the common man will jump

the quicker you let her know you are interested, the quicker she is over it. its a game. now a desperate women will put out the vibe that she is indeed desperate, and guess what kinds of guys will get wind of it first? whom will see that her ego is low, and will swoop in and take advantage.. doing and saying just what they need to to get her to turn over he heart. (redundant.. yes the french men, the cheaters etc)

at that point.. the script is flipped.

the girl is attached to her dream, not reality..
women love to fight for their dream, for their relationship,

but ask them to fight for true happiness and they never do... the risk is too great.
being vulnerable, out of control, having faith in another

ego.. i have talked about this a lot in my rants... men are only as good or bad as we are perceived.. so it is wise never to take things personally good or bad from a woman unless you know for sure, 100 percent she is on the real with you.

usually post tom-boys and bi-girls, girls that are "one of the boys" are far better as partners.. cuz they will shoot straight, in general.

am i generalizing enough? i don't care...

how often have you heard a guy say "I'm in love, she is the best writer, or the best choreographer" ??
never right??

that's girl stuff.
lets like someone cuz of their work, their songs, or their books..
not because of their character.. lets see how this man becomes part of my identity, see ego, and how i feel about myself being associated with it...

"lets put up with all kinds of shit, because i am living in my dream world, not reality.. because he knows he has this leverage, because i am not the only girl out there that loves his books, or songs, or bangs or french accent, and he is gonna do his thing regardless, because i leveraged my affection and sex in order to make this ego acquisition and i am not gonna lose it, i am not a loser.. I'm keeping up appearances.. fuck my actual happiness, i need this bond, i need this identity."

fuck that.

get back to reality..

until you are fearless and can deal with reality, live in truths, see men for what they are by their actions and not their sweet words, until you can see men for what they are in the present, how they make you feel, not what they can be or could make you feel, you are doomed.

until you can do all that and not leverage "fun times"...

you are doomed

and MEN, learn to say no to sex,
learn not to put up with shit just for some ass.

(in my rebounds i took the sex, hoping in each case it meant something... but knowing that they offered it to me, only for me to take, so they would feel better.. if i refused, and said, i did not want to give my shit away so quickly, instead of respecting me, they would/have taken offense... been hurt, and manipulated me into fucking them even more.. funny how predictable it all is!!!)

you will be so much better off for not being so quick to fuck,
to not put up with games in the first place

and in a strange turn events,
her little rejection, or her little ego bruise,
might actually teach her something,

that there are good men out there,
that they might be able to better recognize them now,
and that they might be able to appreciate them more
to live in reality
instead of in their dream worlds.

remember when you are in a dream world, as soon as that man tires of it,
he bounces.

then its a nightmare

but it is your own fault... those words he said to you
that you play back in your head, you made him say it
instead of letting him actually love you,
instead of actually giving yourself...
don't hate the actor,
you directed him
you gave him a role to play

better to try appreciating him, respecting him and confiding and trusting in him.

love is not a scripted fairy tale

love is better improvised.
with enthusiasm
and reverence

my blog is more yummtacular

2010-03-20T15:59:00.001-07:00

Some people just post pics of hot and beautiful things.. eye candy. We all love eye candy. I just write jibberish.

jibber jabber flip flapper.

Shoot, I have to run to the Loo.

I had a late night. to be continued

Pet Peeves 1

2010-01-30T17:16:00.000-08:00

I hate those people who are always a day late with texts or calls. They always call to give you a summation of how busy they've been yap yap. They keep saying they wanna hang or this and that but they're not making plans... days become weeks.. it's all such a waste of energy. Like when the computer screen goes dim and you flick your mouse or the keyboard to light it back up, they're flicking at me.

I'm not a screensaver popping up on your desktop, Im not some IM at the bottom of your screen.

even worse when you stop bothering and they still flick away. Calling or texting to see what's new and keep in touch since god forbid if they didn't who else would they have to take for granted or complain too? =D

self absorbed people - pet peeve numero uno.

woo - hoo I am back

2010-01-25T20:27:00.000-08:00

AND I am gonna blog about total bullshit.

be excited.

I see so many useless and boring blogs I thought I'd start posting aimless and shameless content about my bouts with sex addiction, drinking, unemploying and being old and creepy

where to start?

I quick peek back at my life here in NYC and it's pretty dismal. one job to the next, scrapping by, the odd nice vacation. No major changes for the good nor any accomplishments.

exciting right?

no long term relations.. just a few minor ones that didn't last.. a girl who tried to off herself and was crazy.. another long crush that fizzled.. and 3 unrequited loves.

ouch.

I guess i need to put some pictures in here. hmmm.

maybe later.

Here are some things you prolly didn't know about me.

I hate oatmeal. and it hates me
I have huge hands
I am paranoid about losing my hair
I have awful teeth and the dentists always ask if I am bulimic
I have a beauty fetish which makes it real hard for me to fall for girls that are attainable.
I don't care about there they re their or speling i consider blogs speech with words so there.
I am donating this line to Haiti
this one too
I feel pressure to get to ten but you prolly know everything else about me
i like going on dates and taking girls bras of

PICTURE TIME

no, fuck it! lets watch a crap video with a cheesy Australian unhooking a bra. i give him props for doing it left handed though. but lets see him do it with a fat girl on her back. harder!

ok that's it for tonight. I am going out in willyburg with my roomy from Spain. Paz
How to Remove a Bra - The best video clips are right here

Fire and Desire

2009-08-06T23:51:00.000-07:00

I have a 6 inch 14 pound 15 year old demon inside of me

2009-03-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

if anyone wants to see a REAL exorcism then holla! it's BYOB and you better prey to your local god that my shit doesn't run up in your ass! cuz he's gonna run like the dickens on mexican tap water...

EDIT

this fucker has his little hooks in my L5! change of plans! I need a waterproof ear speaker, a suppository and an ipod with celine dion on it...

Insert demon-bane MP3 here!

♫"Near, far, wherever you are..."♫

My "Losing McCain family of the week" profile (new segment)

2008-11-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

The Gullstones!

They swore if obama got elected they'd move to the moon. I applaud their conviction!

Daisy and Peaches watched nervously as Clyde assembled their new trailer.

you gonna git er done by January Clyde?

"gullstones, meet the gullstones, they're a modern red state family,
from the, town of little rock, on the losing side of history"

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CHRISTIAN MISSIONARY THAT WAS GUNNED DOWN?

2008-10-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

So a Christian missionary was gunned down in afghanistan by a guy on a motorcycle. He went by her and shot her on the fly,... over there it's illegal to proselytize.

it got me thinking... we have to do something!

we have to find a way to get this guy over here to union square so he can take out all those annoying jesus freaks! The ones that heckle me with poorly sung songs of worship and yack about how satan is inside me.. (he is but i don't mind.. i just give him a steady supply of whiskey and it keeps me out of trouble)

let's get our anti christ motor cycle rider over here to do his deeds!
who wants to contribute to my fund?

before they spread all over the world and beyond?!?!

Despite their efforts to study and learn the bible Roger and Jared just couldn't "find jesus"

Let me 'splain this ACORN situation to all you McPains

2008-10-13T11:04:00.001-07:00

I hope to turn this

into this!

the ACORN situation...

Its really a NON ISSUE.

ACORN goes out and canvases people to register to vote. If they approach someone, they will ask if they're registered to vote. Most people will say "yes, i am" and try to move on, even if they aren't registered.

ACORN people don't care about being efficient, they are just being aggressive, trying to get people to register- regardless of their party affiliation. They will get people to re-register, just in case they are lying, and I don't blame them.

We all breeze past canvasers all the time... gay rights, feed the children, green peace. I see them everyday in nyc. Its not a fun job. It sucks in fact. At least the acorn people aren't asking for money, they're just trying to get lazy Americans to get off their butts and vote! Whats wrong with that?

Some people actually register to vote, some people just put down bogus information, that's how people are. it's not acorns fault. it's no different when people sign petitions etc. Same exact thing in fact.

Certain news channels make it seem like Obama is secretly funding people to make fraudulent voter registration cards to get votes. It's ludicrous.

It's impossible. You cant vote without a legitimate voting card that matches your ID. They screen every application thoroughly, or at least they are supposed to.

It's really that simple.

Another thing the news is doing - they're trying to make the public feel sorry for voter registration employees, WHO ARE GETTING PAID WITH TAX DOLLARS, who have to "sort through the voter registrations" like there is an overload of applications on account of acorn. psssh.

Like i give a fuck?!? do your damn job, and do it well. That's what you're paid to do, at least you HAVE A JOB.

There is no risk whatsoever for false votes being counted. It just wont happen. And it's very irresponsible of the news to report with this angle. But what else is new. We all know that the news channels are owned by rich conservative led corporations...

What we have here is just another media driven story designed to take dumb Americans, all of McCains "friends", who will believe anything, question nothing and get them to perceive acorn as bad. Thus by affiliation, Obama "bad" as well.

Acorn is accused of leaning left, well i wonder why? they don't canvas in rich neighborhoods where republicans live, why would they? rich people vote every election to keep their taxes low and look out for themselves.. acorn canvases in poor communities, the very same communities that get ignored by the right.. so of course most of the people they do register will be leaning left.

as they should.

fuck the news, fuck mc cain fuck all of my naive friends who are voting for him.. i wish you will; finally break free from your parents opinions or face yourself and ask yourself why you would vote for an old white "has been" who is out to make his cronies rich and doesnt give two shits about you or your middle class family.

how can a REAL ELITIST like McCain get so many plebeians to follow him.?! it's a real art. hats off if it works. I will blame all of you who vote for him just like i did for the dumb ass bush voters that got us in this fucking mess and got over 3000 soldiers killed.

your fault!

go back to school you fucking dip shits.. and re-read the classics that warn of this shit.

"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side."

Aristotle

(please sub EXCEPTIONAL for excellence into this one you palin jockers)

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."

Aristotle

Obama "acts" right, meaning in good concious. Mc cain??? not so right. he's a bushite. not saying no one makes mistakes, but saying in reality obama's character is pretty intact, mc cains is shady, patronizing and passe.

that's all "my friends"

STOP HATIN' ON CHINA. IT'S ANNOYING

2008-08-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

Stop Hating on the Chinese... it's naive and hypocritical. THIS IS WHAT THE OLYMPICS ARE ABOUT.. this shit makes me tear up EVERY TIME i see it, i don't know why. they're not american, i don't know where they're from.. i don't care.

it's BIGGER then the country it is in. remember where nadia komeniche won her gold, or mary lou rettner? micheal johnson? where did jackie joyner kersie? I guarantee that only a country with socialist upbringins would be able to pull of such a moving and beautiful opening ceremonies.. it's a triumph of the human spirit in my book, all politics aside. what a fucking display of teamwork, no SAG members, no unions, no cheesy janet jackson nipple gate. it was great and I HATE ceremonies! don't punish or hate on a BILLION people for the actions of their goverment. it's naive and stupid. boycotting the olympics is a big fuck you to the THOUSANDS of athletes from all over the world who trained their whole lives to represent their countries and compete. stop making it into a gay liberal protest. p.s. fuck tibet it's not that serious. more people died in the earth quake then died in tibet EVER

CHINA GONNA WIN THAT PINA PONG THANG FOR REALZ

IT'S SHITE WEEK!

2008-07-29T07:35:00.000-07:00

Who is worse damien Hirst or the people who buy his art?

Ah yes - the age old question.

I'd just like to say that I think people who pay millions for his piss take art works are stupid. maybe it's "just an investment" but it just goes to show how a few people in the art press or auction houses can make anyone the next big thing. it's all a "value" created by humans, it's JUST art and crap at that imho.

100 million for a diamond encrusted skull? is someone ACTUALLY gonna buy a shark that is preserved in formaldehyde? doesn't the museum have one of those? did they pay 200 million for it?

i think the people who buy his shite work should be preserved in formadehyde themselves then made into art and that should be auctioned off and the proceeds should go to something worthy.

i just can't believe his art work, contemporary inexpensive unremarkable art work- should sell for so much and one man should get so rich, he isn't even gonna use a broker (which i love, fuck those scoundrels) but still.. he is gonna get millions and millions of dollars, hundreds of millions at his auction meanwhile all these other people, are starving etc.
there is no shortage of artists in the world, the are tons of other shitty artists why can't they even get paid? what would happen if there were artists on salary creating stuff? or if art didn't operate on a free market ideal? how can a business or company not be worth as much as this guys diamond skull?

it's a joke to me.

i know there are a lot of people who stand by this hack and say its capitalism etc but theyr'e just hoping to auction there brown noses as more of hurst's shit.

there not far off

but it stinks to me!

hey everyone it's "SHITE WEEK!!"