The Whine and Dine Chronicles

There's a tear in my Whine...

2013-06-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

My son asked me the other day why I cry when we are watching something sad on tv and at the time I remember responding with something lame like, "oh, it's just sad to me and I feel bad for the people on the show." Of course he just shrugged it off like it was just another episode of Wipeout and the evening ran its course.

But it made me think, why do I cry so easily at some things and other times I'm the epitome of composure? It made me think about all the times I have swallowed back my tears because I don't want my son to see how sad and hurt and scared I am and so I pretend that everything is just fine and we are going to plow right through this situation. I remember when we moved from St. Louis to Florida and as we pulled away from the house with all of our belongings in the truck I wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry. I wanted to cry for all the friends I had made and would surely miss. I wanted to cry for the fifth grade camp my son was never going to experience and I wanted to cry for all of the future memories we would surely make. I remember leaving the house in Sioux Falls where we spent six long years in a cozy neighborhood with great friends. We pulled away from the house on a snowy grey Monday afternoon and I wanted to cry and cry again, but I had to pull myself together because it was just me and TJ and he was doing enough crying for the both of us.

I think it's kind of sad that I have to weigh when the appropriate time to cry is. I want to protect my family during those hard times where I just want to throw my hands in the air and say "enough!" So I guess I let all my hurt out in those innocuous moments where it's "safe" to let it all out. In this way I am not letting anyone down and I don't appear weak. Some days I really do have my shit together and then other days I just can't possibly keep those emotions in and they come pouring out like someone turned on the faucet. I know my husband must look at me like, "Oh what fresh hell is this" and if he only knew.

I think my tears may be misplaced, but they serve me well in times when I just need to release the emotions I have pent up inside me. Sometimes witnessing acts of kindness can reduce me to tears in the simplest most beautiful way. So I'm ok with being a crybaby. Now I just have to deal with the honesty of my tears.

(This is dedicated to my Aunt Grace and Grandma B...two amazing beautiful women who were ok with me crying and loved me anyway!)

A Post for Mary....

2013-05-16T18:15:00.001-07:00

I think we all have certain friends in this world where it doesn't matter if you live next door, in the next city or miles and miles away from each other, you can always pick up where you left off. You can be yourself and not just the best "version" of yourself.

I have a few friends that fall into this category, but one friend stands out in my mind. Miss Mary. You see, that may seem a bit formal to you, but Miss Mary is a classy lady who has the bluest eyes you have ever seen and one of the greatest smiles ever. She has an extremely warm heart and let me tell you this, you WANT this person in your corner when life gets sticky. There is "calm" and then there is Mary! Mary knows how to make you sit back and reassess without jumping off the roof and I should know because she has talked me down a few times.

So, for all of us who have wonderful friends out there like Miss Mary, be GRATEFUL and do not let go of this friend.

Thank you Mary for reminding me that I love to write....stay tuned for more!

Parenting Skills Whine...

2013-02-09T17:43:00.001-08:00

I have been watching my son play sports since he was four years old. Sometimes
it was as exciting as watching paint dry and other times I was just blown away by
the sheer luck, happenstance or do I dare say talent that allowed some pretty great
plays to unfold before my eyes.

I have had to learn some cardinal rules:

1. Mother's do not belong in the dug out.
2. You cannot cover your eyes and grimace when your son takes a
particularly hard hit.
3. You need to ignore other parents negative comments...ok, screw that one,
I could never idly sit by if my son's "talent" is being called into question.
4. Let the coaches do their job.

I have to admit that I am sometimes a nervous wreck when my son pitches. He is
a lefty with a good arm and he throws hard & fast.....he sometimes misses the plate
completely. I am more worried about him hitting other players than actually striking
someone out! What is wrong with me?!!! I should be celebrating my sons ability and
all I can think about is someone else getting hurt.

That is so wrong

The same thing happens in football. I am never worried about TJ getting hurt.
I worry about the little guy on the team or the fact that kid ends up playing both lines
and takes hit after hit. It barely registers that he is dishing out some great tackles
on his own. His football coach once came up to me and said "I don't know what TJ
had for breakfast, but I'm pretty sure he broke some human rights laws out there
today and I LOVED it!" I didn't know whether to beam with pride or remember
what I fed him for breakfast!

I do know that this amazing kid can be so sensitive with me it would break your
heart. I know that he thinks his dad is amazing and just wants to be like him.
I know that I need to have a little more faith in his ability and capacity to navigate
life a little more on his own.

Letting go, even a little tiny bit every day still breaks my heart.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall Whine

2013-01-24T17:20:00.001-08:00

Ok, I will admit, I am spending a little more time looking in the mirror these days
than I ever have before. Truthfully, I like the face that looks back at me, but
anything south of the shoulders is the bane of my existence.

Sadly, I have said that for over 20 years, but when I see pictures of my 20 year
old self, I think, "you stupid woman, you wasted far too many years
complaining about nothing. Isn't there a song that says "You are not as fat as
you think." I think I need that tattooed somewhere on my body. I think
I would be amazed if I took all the wasted hours of worrying over my looks
and put it towards something more productive. I would probably be rocket
scientist by now.

My point is this....stop looking at all the bad things and look for all the good
things and trust me they are there! If you ever start feeling really bad
about yourself look at those gawd-awful pictures of people shopping
in Walmart that look like they just crawled out of the National Enquirer!
Someone in those pictures will always have more cellulite and less class
than you. Oh, and if you are one of those people in the Walmart pictures I
sincerely hope that was a wake up call to perhaps get a bit of a makeover.

I think I just need a new mirror, better lighting and crisp chardonnay.

Martha Stewart Crafter's Whine

2013-01-20T17:05:00.001-08:00

I don't know about you, but I could spend days in Michael's. The promise of
excelling at any project of my choosing is so intoxicating. I could be a jewelry
designer, a stamper, a scrap book artist or a painter of any medium all within
the space of an hour. My credit card starts to hum in my wallet and I take on
the demeanor of Martha Stewart minus the helmet hairand prison record.

Walking down the oil paint aisle I literally convulse in pure delight at all the
possibility laying before me. A blank canvas goes beyond all philosophical
discussions of tabula rasa and I'm momentarily paralyzed with the plethora of
options dancing in my head. I sometimes have to just sit down and take it all in.
I can't stay too long or else I start feeling like a turtle that just wants to shove its
head inside his shell because all the stimulus is just way too much!

I may not be the best painter, but I'm learning every day. I don't think I will ever
tire of hearing someone say "You painted that??" I could be happy with paint up
to my elbows if it were only my opinion that counted. I get nervous when people
start to say things like "You should sell this stuff" or "Have you thought about
approaching XYX company to sell your stuff on consignment?" Poof....here
comes the turtle.

Call it a lack of confidence, call it laziness, I don't know what to call it. I just know
that I am happiest painting when there is nothing but joy attached to it and the
feeling of finishing what I started.

I can toast to that!

People Pleasing Whine

2013-01-16T18:22:00.000-08:00

How many times have you replayed a conversation in your head and wished for a
better conclusion? How many times have you wished you said "Yes" or "No" or
even "Let me think about that" to at least buy you some time to think the request
through? Sometimes I am just drop-dead-tired from trying to be all things to
everyone.

Most of this is family related. You would think that I could cut myself some slack
where family is concerned, but for some reason I am over here tapping dancing on
egg shells trying to make everyone happy, do the right thing and give the right
answers.

I am failing miserably.

There are days when I sometimes can't balance what I need to do in my personal
life, my family life, my work and my friends. I wish I had even one more hour in
the day to devote to each category to finally check off some items on my "to-do"
list. Pretty sure I am preaching to the masses here....who the hell doesn't feel this way?

But here's the thing...life cannot be a to-do list. Life is constant motion with full
"in trays" and sometimes all things cannot be completely balanced. I think we
have to stop seeing our day to day life as a ledger in which columns are all neat
and balanced. I think a sense of humor is the key to fewer gray hairs and an
ability to pick the better wine. I think we all need to blatantly give ourselves
permission to not be perfect and blissfully navigate our days utilizing our gut instincts
and let the concept of "perfection" disappear.

Be kind and drink wine!

Crying When You Are Happy Whine

2012-11-13T18:28:00.004-08:00

Why do women cry when they are happy? What is it in our DNA that
allows for such a spectacle of emotion when we should be laughing
until our sides split with happiness one moment and the next moment
we are wringing out the hanky with our tears?

I do this all the time...in fact I am writing to you in a haze of tears
because my mom has given me some fantastic news and this will allow
me to see her in a few months and I am so completely overjoyed at
the prospect of being able to hug her, but at the same time I am searching
for the tissues because I can't stop crying!

I do this during long distance phone commercials, the Notebook and
anything to do with children and I should be able to accept this part
of myself, yet I can't. I live in a household that has more y chromosomes so
I find myself kind of hiding my emotions and skirting the issues of my
tears. This really can't be a good thing if I am trying to raise a strong,
sensitive boy who can help bring out the best in his chosen friends. I know
he is 10 right now and finds the fact that body odor is a funny topic so we
have a ways to go in the sensitivity issue, but I am planting the seeds.

I am crying and laughing at the same time and I am not going to make
any apologies for it. This is who I am, this is how I filter the world and if
it takes an extra glass of house white than so be it. I'd rather cry when I
am happy and not quite understand than be stoic and unmoving because
that is what is expected of me as a role model.

Another round for my friends sil vous plait!

Child of Mine...

2012-11-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

Child of mine, you will never know how much I love you. So while you are
sitting in your room sulking and pouting, let me share a few things with you.
Maybe one day when you are old enough you will understand.

While you are thinking about how much you hate me because I was evil enough
to set boundaries, I am quietly counting to 10 and remembering all those times
I couldn't wait for you to talk. I couldn't wait to have these conversations with you
and watch you form your own opinions, hear you work out a problem on your
own and to finally hear you say you love me.

While you are yelling out "It's not fair" I am remembering when you used to hold
my hand because I was the best thing since sliced bread. You reached for me
unabashadly with the biggest most trusting smile on your face and I remember
thinking, "Dear God, please don't let me disappoint this child." But here's the
thing. Disappointment is inevitable, but the love you have for your child endures
EVERYTHING.

From making your favorite breakfast to making your stuffed animals look like
they are sleeping in your bed, I am on a constant vigil to make sure that you
are safe and that you will thrive in this world. Even when I really just want to
walk away from another power struggle my heart has a magnetic pull towards
you that will never go away.

So go ahead and think that you have the worst life "like ever." It's going to
get worse before it gets better. And I will be here, every step of the way.

Crying in my Wine Whine...

2012-10-18T17:02:00.001-07:00

I think I was born with extra tear ducts. Seriously, I cry at the drop of a
hat. I cry when I'm happy, sad, perplexed, joyful, worried and content.
Local news stories can make me sob at the breakfast table and I think
at this stage in the game my husband has learned to just pass the tissues
and not even question my latest waterworks.

I once had to do a "personality" quiz through work and most of the people
around me were scoring in the 90th percentile for "Leadership" or "Decisiveness"
or even "Communication." I scored in the 95th percentile for "Empathy."
What can I say, I was born this way.

I don't really recall when my call to the world of tears first became apparent.
My inner circle will know the extenuating circumstances that would certainly
support my hyper-sensitivity, but crying because of a story I read or heard
seems a bit of a stretch. I'm not a pretty crier either. It's all red nose and snot
and wet sloppy tears. Ah, to know me is to love me.

So if you ever need to just sit and have a good cry with someone, I'm your
girl. I'm a good listener and my vault of "secrets" is massive.

Somebody bring the tissues...and a good bottle of wine.

The 5 Stages of Grief Whine...

2012-10-11T18:09:00.001-07:00

I have come to realize that I am going through my own stages of grief over moving
here. Don't get me wrong, the majority of my feedback support group thinks this
was a good move, but the doubting section hasn't quite joined the bandwagon.

First there was Anger - "I can't believe we are &^%#@! moving again!"

Then there was Denial - "I am not selling anymore furniture, clothing or other such
belongings.I will never have another yardsale in my entire life. Bubblewrap is my
nemesis. There was partial acceptance along the way because we were moving
closer to our family and the thought that I would never have to shovel snow again....
then it hit me... I will never shovel snow again. I like snow.

I missed the Bargaining stage altogether while sipping/gulping my chardonney. My
arbitration skills are lacking any kind of depth of conviction and so I packed on.

The Depression Stage hit me about a week ago when I realized that I was not going
to be witnessing any type of season change through the beautiful and colorful
display of leaves just doing their fall thing in October. Sunshine became annoying
and I was really looking forward to a cold afternoon with a cup of hotchocolate.
Not going to happen. I won't have snow on Christmas morning and I won't get
to see TJ all red-faced from the cold after having a snowball fight with his friends.

I'm limping towards Acceptance...slowly. The one thing that trumps all of these

negative feelings is that we have FAMILY here and that my friends is priceless.

I will never take for granted the fact that if I need help, I can ask for it and I will

get it. No questions asked. I like the fact that I can help in return in an effortless

exchange of just being there for each other. After a particularly long day last week

I walked the one house over to my mother-in-law's with a glass of wine for

both of us and her smile and acceptance of me was the tonic I needed. When she

said, "You read my mind" I knew I had come home.

Getting My Own Way Whine

2012-09-25T18:12:00.003-07:00

Some people just know instinctively how to play the right cards to
get their own way. Me, I don't even know if I am playing with the
same deck as everyone else.

Do you whine, sob, demand, make ultimatums or do you become
so eerily quiet that even the birds avoid your house?? I'm not sure
how I play this, but I do know that when it counts I don't really get
my way as often as I would like.

Perhaps I need some training on this. Let's all pause for a glass of
wine. Ok, better. I think being persuasive takes a lot of planning
and smarts and I thought I was in possession of both. I think I might
back down too easily. I have often found myself in situations where
the bubble over my head is screaming "WHAT THE HELL WERE
YOU THINKING?" And then my inner conscience hides in the
corner until all the voices go away. My alter ego always has an answer
for everything, but she goes on vacation a lot and she's really hard to
reach.

I think I will resolve to be more direct and forthright. And maybe a
few tears, yeah, I think tears might help. Is there a self-help group out
there that I am not aware of? We can make it a pot-luck gathering....
I will bring the wine.

Dieting Whine.....

2012-09-17T16:46:00.001-07:00

Dieting sucks. There's just no two ways about it. I used to be able to exercise
my way out of a bad eating day/night/week, but no more. Now I actually have
to watch what I eat (or more importantly watch what I don't get to eat!)

*Sigh* I look at pictures of myself from two years ago and I see the pile of
clothes in my closet that I can only wish I could fit into. The sad thing is that
I know better. I know what I'm supposed to do to lose the weight and call
it laziness, lack of motivation or an act of surrender, but I just can't get
myself back into this groove. I remember what I did to make it work the first
time and I'd like to forget what I did to gain it all back, but it haunts me in the
mirror every day.

I need a fresh outlook. I thought that moving to FL would make me want to
work out more because we can be outside all the time, yadda, yadda, yadda.
It's hotter than Hades on most days, I look gross in a bathing suit so I don't
even want to approach the water and become a five course meal for Jaws.

.....So I procrastinate. I have procrastinated for 8 months now. I have to
just jump in and do it. Baby steps (away from fridge, away from the wine,
away from the nachos.) I'll keep you posted!

Consumerism Whine, or "Why do I Have to Have it All?"

2012-08-28T17:34:00.001-07:00

As I sit here enjoying my glass of pinot grigio, I feel compelled to examine all
the ways in which my senses have been bombarded with the singular message
of "Buy Now,Pay Later." This assault happens on a daily basis and I find myself
feeling a little violated now and then. Especially when my wallet is saying one
thing and my mind is saying, "No, really, that skirt makes you look like Angelina."

I keep getting credit card offers in the mail. I can almost hear them whispering
in my mailbox before I open the little door. They say things like "You will shop
now, you will spend more than you earn and you will LIKE IT." Well, of course
I will like it, but I will throw up at the site of the bills rolling in. Who decided that
credit cards were a good thing? I know there are people out there who are
completely disciplined in this area. It's like a cult that only special people can join.
I am not one of those special people. I have one credit card in my purse, two
laying in a drawer (just in case) and one laying under a pound of ground beef in
the freezer. (That's my "emergency food supply.")

Marketing people have my number...if it will make me look younger, thinner
and more popular than I'm hell bent on getting it. At least I used to be. Now,
I think I'd rather strive to fit into more of the clothes that I actually have. I think
I would rather spend time with friends than money with strangers.

Why does it take getting older to see things like this more clearly??

Wine of my Youth...or was that Beer?

2012-08-16T17:58:00.001-07:00

I once fought off three guys at one time vying for my attention during my 20's.
They were all named Steve, thankfully, and I was too full of myself (or beer)
to feel any kind of remorse about possibly leading them on. Fast forward 20
years and you are more apt to find me fighting off wrinkles named crowsfeet
and a wine-belly....sexy, I know.

I thought I was brave and strong and resilient, but it turns out I was just lucky,
had good timing and could talk my way out of, or into anything.

I wish I had the benefit of hindsight back then, but maybe that would have
interferred with the "happy accidents" and spontaneous moments that have made
my life the thrill ride it has been. I've seen fireworks in five different states and
two countries. I met a guy who makes me laugh and still sees me how I was when
I was in my twenties (on a good day) and a little boy who can bring me to tears
just by watching him sleep. My cat thinks I walk on water just because I bring her
food at the drop of meow and my mailman sorts my mail alphabetically because
he knows I'm quirky like that.

I feel like I am at the starting gate of some big changes in my life. I want to run full
speed ahead, but I need to be patient and burst out of the starting block when I
have the right shoes.

Funny how I still chuckle when I meet someone named Steve.

I Have No Reason to Whine

2012-08-14T17:11:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to look at my life through a bigger lens than just what I can see right
in front of me. I'm trying not to compare myself to other people even though it's
such a natural urge to do so. I think, why don't I have those things that I see
other people having and then I get this little kick in the shin reminding me that
I have no idea what life is like for that person who seemingly has it all.

I don't have it all, but what I have seems pretty good on most days. My husband
is the biggest, funniest dork in the world and I love him. He is 44 going on 14, but
no one can make me laugh or infuriate me more (in all of two seconds) than he
does. But you know what, he is still here, we are still together and that's got to
count for something.

I can go to bed at night with a clear conscience knowing that I did my best to
be the best I could be and generally be good to those around me. I'd like to
think that I have had a small positive impact on the friends I have made. My
very good friends in St. Louis certainly did let me know that I was loved and
missed this past weekend when they took pictures of Flo from the Progressive
commercials and set her in various pool type pictures while they had their last
pool party of the summer. Oh, by the way, my nickname is Flo to those gals
from the Beaver Club out in St. Paul. So, to Jen F, Man Candy and Sweet D,
thanks for keeping me in the loop, we sure know how to party.

See, I have no reason to whine.

The Whine in Which I Want a new Family

2012-08-05T15:13:00.004-07:00

If you ever want to know what a broken record sounds like, come to my house. I am
the epitome of a broken record. I'm not taken seriously until something is lost or
broken and then suddenly everyone wants to pay attention and do what I say.

This is the whine in which I lament over the same sad things that pretty much every
mother goes through daily/weekly/monthly. Part of me needs to know if maybe
I am just a control freak trying to impress my wants and needs on my family, but
do dirty socks really need to be continually left out in the front entrance way for
all to see? Do dirty cleats and running shoes really need to be left underneath the
coffee table and why is it so hard to hang up a freaking towel?? People say just
leave it alone. But here's the thing I CAN'T PHYSICALLY DO THAT.
I have been hardwired to believe that "everything has a place and a place for
everything." We have closets and drawers for a purpose. Bathrooms come with a
vanity so not every single item needs to be left out on the counter because
eventually you will use that item again.

Today I walked away from my dinner table, plate in hand, and hid back in the
guestroom. I have no desire to eat so I should have just left the food behind. I feel
like giving up and part of me really wants to and then the rational part of me knows
I need to just suck it up. Wouldn't it be nice though, for just a little while for those
little things that you repeatedly ask for OVER and OVER again to be taken care of?
Am I that unrealistic?? Do I have it backwards? Should I be so damn happy that
I have a spouse and child that I put my big girl panties on suck it up?

I need another glass of wine before I can answer that. For now I will shamefully
hide because I just don't know what to say anymore.

(let the record show that my son did just come in and hug me and my husband
did bring me another glass of wine....ah hell, am I really that bad of a whiner??)

Whine, Wine.....Earned!

2012-07-27T18:59:00.002-07:00

I have just completed my first week of work at a new and challenging job and
I must say this glass of wine tastes better, colder and just the perfect hint of apple
and citrus all because I EARNED it.

That's right...I earned it. This isn't a "pity glass" or a "I'm blue, pick me up glass",
but a "celebratory glass" for a job well done and that my friends, ALWAYS taste
better. I have recently decided to stop saying that "I am lucky" and I will be replacing
it with "I am blessed." Does this shorten my "to do" list by any measure? I think not.

It does, however, mark a monumental shift in my thinking and behaviors. "Here,
here!"(That's me, raising my glass of pinot to you all!)

It's been a good week. I do have some challenges ahead. I have to "face my giants"
in other areas of my life now that I have met this one. For example, how do I treat
my bodywith respect and coax it along to look and feel as good as I did in my
mid-thirties. Trust me, you will look back at a lot of pictures of yourself and just
like Baz Lurhmannsays, "You are not as fat as you think you are." I have to set a
better example for myfamily and since I am the one that does all the shopping and
the cooking, I'm the one to blame when Pringles make an appearance in my
cupboard. Speaking of shopping,I bought the cutest dress....but I digress....

So raise a glass if you EARNED it this week (this term can be interpreted
VERY loosely!)and we will talk about shopping next week!

Ta ta!

Catching up with....wine!

2012-07-24T17:43:00.002-07:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was a time to drink and a time to mourn, a time to laugh and a time to cry....so I did all four. Maybe not in that order.

People always say never take anything for granted and why is it that we have to learn these things the hard way? I have had the best week and have had the worst news given to me in the same week. My equillibrium is all screwed up and for once it isn't the wine.

I will focus on the fact that I did manage to get a job...yeah me! I have learned not to brag about it or go on about it in anyway because a lot of people really don't want to hear the good news. I'm sorry it didn't take a long time, but I was prepared and I worked my behind off in those interviews. I feel like all parties involved felt like it was a good fit and sometimes that's more important than what's on your resume.

So right now I'm wishing I could have a glass of wine with friends like Mary L, Sue D and the Karen's, Marilou, 867-5309 and Sweet D and my Co-Prez. You all know who you are. Miss ya!

Packing it in Whine.....???

2012-07-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to find a writing groove these days...I seem to be caught up in the little
moments of life that suck out all the fun one could be having like, cleaning the bathroom
(gotta love having a boy) paying the bills (health insurance is a whine all its own)
and scooping litter. I'm seeing a crappy theme here.

I also need to figure out where to set up my painting. Now the lanai seems like a perfect
spot (in fact it's the only spot unless I want my shower to be a dual purpose area
of the home.) It's just too darn hot or raining out right now. Whine on little whiner...

So, I think I will just concentrate on one thing at a time. Perhaps that's the key to success
in anything. Go ahead, put all your eggs in one basket and see what kind of omelette
you get. This will be a new experience for me because normally I like to do way too
many things at once and I inevitably screw up something. Does anyone else out there
do one thing at one time or do we all have a society driven form of ADHD??

PMS Whine....

2012-07-11T16:34:00.002-07:00

I am thoroughly convinced that monthly personal hygiene products should be sold
in a simple survival kit containing: 1 bottle of wine, 1 large box of chocolate, 1
package of tissues, 1 bottle of Midol and an 800 # for a local shrink. This would be
presented in a very chic box enhanced by some very delightful bath oil You would
think after years and years of this abuse I would be much more adept at controlling
my emotions etc. during this "special time." (Sadly, I have noticed that even
domesticated animals steer clear of me during these six days of hell....ok, who
am I kidding, it's more like twelve.)

My particular rant this month involves a Pity Party for One in which I am always the
hostess. My raging hormones have me convinced that I am completely undesirable and
would be better off living amongst a pack of wolves. The temptation is there, but I don't
think I could handle their rejection as well.

In this state my Superwoman alter ego deflates faster than my attempt at baking a
souffle. My pants are tighter, my sweet tooth takes over my nutritional needs and
if you are nice to me I will most definitely cry. I feel that relief is in sight when
I can stand to be in the same room as my family for more than five minutes without
tearing up.

How about I get back to you in all, in say, twelve days?

Weekend News Update...."I am Superwoman"

2012-07-07T17:52:00.001-07:00

In a shocking turn of events, the people of Fort Myers, FL have learned that yes,
Jennifer Kuhn is indeed Superwoman.

"I tried to remain in cognito for as long as possible, but some of the dumbass citizens of
this place needed to learn the hard and fast way that, yes, I was the elusive figure that
sorted out bullshit that piles up in the most common neighborhoods and lets it be known
that no way in hell am I going to stand by and take their crap."

WHOA...where did that come from neighbors cried? Who is this bitch on wheels you
may ask?

Why, it is I, SUPERWOMAN. Now, before shit really hits the fan I will let you all in on
a little secret. Inside all of us lies SUPERWOMAN! You just have to dig deep and find that
strength inside of you to really stand up for what you believe in. There are too many fake
people in this world, people who are trying to be copies of all the people they see in
magazines or people that believe they should emulate. BE YOU and only YOU.
You were created for a reason, you have a SPECIFIC role in this life.
Let your Superwoman fly.

She will thank you later.

Today Whine

2012-07-06T17:50:00.003-07:00

Today isn't really an extraordinary day, it's not like it pops out on the calendar,

but today I just really miss my friends. I feel like I should be at McGurk's having

fish and chips and just hanging out and laughing.

Today I have an ear infection, a job interview happened at 8:30 am in which I was

told I am overqualified for the job and at 4:30 this evening my son was saying

he shouldn't eat bread if he wants to lose weight to play football.

Today I want to kick the shit out of the football coach who told me that my

son needs to lose 7lbs in 12 days to be consider for a spot on the team.

I want to jump over the counter at Walgreen's at the lady who is telling me

that they no longer accept my health insurance and I need to find another

pharmacist.

Today I want to pretend that I am my cat and just curl up in a ball and let everything

just float on by.

But today is almost over and I've survived it. I got my medicine, my son is thinking

about playing for a different team and I'm sure I will return to Walgreen's...eventually.

Thanks for being part of my day.

Job Hunting Sucks

2012-06-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

Was it the movie "Rainman" where Tom Cruise tells Dustin Hoffman that
"K Mart sucks." That about wraps up how I feel about job hunting. Why can't
employers just feel my awesomeness without having to jump through hoops?

I've been out of work since June 15th, my own doing, as you all know I have recently
moved. Now, seeing dolphins every day does have its advantageous, but those
water-dwelling creatures do not pay the bills. My extended "vacation" is starting to
get on my nerves. You know you have issues when you start to "wipe out" the foot
prints on the carpet because you want everything to still look neat, maintain a facsimile
of control in your environment, or you obsess over whether or not that particular
picture should really be hanging next to that bookshelf.

Enough! Give me some paper, a desk a phone and irritating people to deal with and
I'm right at home. Let me organize, banter back and forth with colleagues and pretend
I really do like the swill offered as free coffee in the breakroom. When you start answering your personal cell phone like an infomercial commentator you know
it's time to get a job. When wine starts to look real good by 2pm you really need to
get out of the house.

I will close with this. I'm a worker. I'm not the Queen Bee or the Princess locked
in the tower (my hair would never grow that long without cosmetic enhancements
that I can't afford right now anyway.) I work, therefore I am happy.

The saga continues....

Holy AWOL!!

2012-06-26T17:59:00.001-07:00

Wow, had no idea it had been over three weeks since I last posted. Moving will do that to you. Moving will do many things to you. It will make you re-examine every possible use for duct tape, packing tape and bubble wrap. It will make you curse the day you bought anything and stored it in your home because now you have to pack the damn thing and how the hell were you supposed to know that the awesome hurricane lamp you had to have does not fit in any standard box? You will survive off dry cereal, peanut butter and Twix bars because they are there and quite frankly very convenient. You will stare down your spouse and child if they enter any room that has been freshly cleaned and you will monitor every item that goes in every box.

It's freakin' exhausting!

So here I am at the other end of the move and I have to keep reminding myself that I live here now, I'm not just visiting. Even though we now have FL plates on our car and I have four palm trees in my yard it's a little hard to digest. You know you are not a true Floridian when you are freaking out over a tropical storm and your neighbors are still drinking mai tai's. A tiny lizard darted out behind some boxes and I jumped a foot in the air. I haven't worn make-up or done my hair in over a week. It's kind of liberating actually.

Now, which flip flops shall I wear tomorrow?

Fifty Shades of What???

2012-06-05T12:17:00.001-07:00

Ok, I will put it out there. I read "Fifty Shades of Grey" in about 2 days. And then I proceeded to finish off the trilogy in much the same fashion. What is it about the naughty nature of erotic books that makes people blush furiously (I am red-faced just typing this admission out!) Once I got through all the sex scenes and tried to figure out what Little Miss Ana wanted from Mr. Grey it really wasn't too difficult to decipher.

I don't think we all want to be chained to a bed (and if you do, have at it!) but I do think we all like the idea of being treated with such love and passion. And who wouldn't want an Audi being thrown their way? Ok, some will get hung up on the idea that he was paying for her services and I can see where that would come from too. I'm not asking for a litany of responses as to whether or not what Christian did was right or wrong. Miss Steele had no trouble making her fair point well made.

Or, you could just suspend your need to judge and enjoy a quick summer read.