The Wii PlayBox

This Blog is Dead

2008-12-31T22:41:00.002-05:00

Look elsewhere, like The Legal Arcade, for instance.

Idea: Gaming Radio

2008-01-27T21:44:00.000-05:00

What if there were a service like radio for gaming? If someone could parse out demo levels of any number of games from any era with commentary during the load screens, that would be awesome. There'd be plenty of mainstream channels that would constantly cycle just the newest stuff, but channels for oldies and rhythm games and special things like that would exist as well. I think that'd be a great idea if it could possibly be implemented. Longer load times would require special interviews and histories of the game and stuff to keep people interested, but it'd be well worth it. Imagine everyone playing at once just a single level out of the same game at once, competing for a better aggregate score throughout the games for channels that would support that. I think the service could work commercially as well, with advertisements spliced into the commentary as well as some money coming from the gamemakers for featuring their game well on the service, perhaps. It seems like a great idea to me, anyway.

Politics in Gaming Blog to Split Off from This One

2008-01-22T19:00:00.000-05:00

I really want to post about where politics and gaming collide a lot, but I have little opportunity when this is a site for regular gaming news. That's why I'm going to split those posts off into a new blog, The Legal Arcade. Look there for any interest you have in gaming issues in politics, studies, pundits, and generally uncool old people. Prepare to be angry.

[WPB] Call of Duty 4 Clan

2008-01-21T09:40:00.000-05:00

Alright, I really want to start a CoD4 clan, so I'm just going to, and this is the recruitment post you should be taken to if you came upon an invite to the clan. There's a poll on the right sidebar to pick the nickname for it, you can also give suggestions by commenting on this post.

So, the Wii PlayBox is starting up a new Call of Duty 4 clan. I will only be able to play on the PS3, but if there are enough other system players to warrant 360 or PC divisions, then that's fine. Basically, I'm very soft on who to recruit. New players are welcomed, and I'd almost rather you not have a microphone so I don't have to be annoyed by anyone. Just friend me (PSN ID: kingpenguin1029) if you're playing on the PS3, and add the clan tag [WPB] in front of your name. Then we can sort of casually start gaming together, with scheduled events likely if this works out well enough. Comment on this post if you plan to join, but this is a clan done lite, not such a big deal as some others may be.

Update: We're now represented on gamebattles.com for official matches. Sign up there if you haven't already and want to participate in the official ladder matches for the team.

Brazil Bans Gaming Like It's 1999

2008-01-19T21:42:00.000-05:00

Just look at this article. Brazil bans Counter-strike and Everquest? Where did that come from? Both games were released in 1999, and neither's especially over-the-top with violence or anything. But apparently they both "…[Encouraged] the subversion of public order, were an attack against the democratic state and the law and against public security." Don't ask me. I have little else to say on the subject, because I can't figure out why a country would do that. It's just not hip to ban old stuff, unless it's Don Imus. That I can understand.

Modern Warfare has Never Been This Much Fun!

2008-01-17T23:09:00.000-05:00

Call of Duty 4 is the bomb. It also contains numerous bombs, which are hereby to be termed meta-bombs to avoid confusion. That's a joke, but seriously, I'm getting really lazy with my posts on the blog, and it's all due to Call of Duty. I'm rather late on the bandwagon with it, but I've gone through the single-player campaign on hardened difficulty and made it up to staff sergeant online pretty quickly.

As in the rest of the Call of Duty series, the single player the first time through it seems like the most exciting thing you've ever done. Then the next times through, it gets irritating how many times you have to die and start over, but that's what online is for. The online is really nice, and it forces you to unlock everything for it over time. I don't know of another game I've played where you didn't have access to all the online game modes until after you've played hours and hours. Very strange, but the weapon unlocks seem much more suitable and rewarding. My MP5 is unstoppable, now, I feel sure.

I just wanted to recommend the game, this isn't a full-fledged review. If you feel like playing me at any time, my PSN ID is kingpenguin1029. I'd love to start a Wii PlayBox clan, but I doubt I'll have enough signees here straight off. We'll see, just friend me if you want to play me on the PS3.

Waving My Banner on High

2008-01-16T22:10:00.000-05:00

At the top of the page is the new "Clockwork PlayBox" banner for the site, assuming that you're looking at this post reasonably soon after I wrote it. I think I'm sticking with this one for a while, it's pretty awesome. Below are the previous designs:

"The Original" my first banner and before I took out those numbers from the name of the site. I thought that the numbers would be necessary for people to realize that Wii PlayBox is a combination of the three consoles' names, but it really just makes the name too long.

"Corporate Qbert" was a prospective banner that I haven't used yet. It has a wonderful Qbert background and the real logos of the three companies in it, but it's sort of difficult to see and there's some left over green crap to the right that I couldn't get out very easily. I sort of like it, though.

Here's the previous banner, which I'll call "KingPenguin PlayBox". It's alright, but having my avatar on the right doesn't really have anything to do with games especially, and the text isn't interesting enough.

You decide, I suppose. Is there one you like more than the other? If so, just comment here and tell me. Even if you think all four suck.

A Stern Warning of Games to Come... for Playstation 3

2008-01-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

These posts will detail the video games ready to explode onto the gaming world for 2008. Even though Sony apparently has several unrevealed IPs in store it will announce (sorry, can't find the link to that story right now) most everyone still knows what the big hits for their year are meant to be. Metal Gear Solid 4, LittleBigPlanet, and Resistance 2 are the three most hyped exclusives for the Playstation 3 in 2008. Those linked sites give you a good idea of how complete the three games are. Resistance 2 is set to be released apparently in the fall, Metal Gear Solid 4 in June despite earlier beliefs that it'd be out for Christmas 2007, and LittleBigPlanet leaves everyone completely puzzled as for a release date. It was set for 2007 as well, but got seriously delayed, and is perhaps going to be ready for September.

Metal Gear Solid 4 is certainly going to be releasing on time, as it has been recently announced that it is fully playable from start to finish now. The highly anticipated sequel in the Metal Gear Solid series is apparently going to be the last to be worked on by the head honcho Hideo Kojima. This isn't really to be trusted, however, because Kojima has stated that lots of the MGS games were going to be his last. Don't worry for the life of the series though, because he also recently said that MGS will go on forever, like James Bond films.

Resistance 2 is also obviously a sequel to the original Resistance: Fall of Man, a first-person shooter exclusive to the PS3. In this game as well as the original, the player is Nathan Hale of the US Army, and he combats the chimeras (you'll probably know them as "alien things") that are destroying humanity. Apparently, though the original was set in England, this game will be set in the U.S., but the game was only recently even announced. Here are the details known thus far:

"The game will feature two campaigns, one single player campaign which will follow the story of Nathan Hale. The other campaign will support up to 8 players online or 2 player splitscreen cooperative play with classes including a medic, heavy weapons, and special ops class. The online multiplayer aspect of the game supports up to 60 players online.Unconfirmed reports say the game will support three character classes--including a heavy weapons, special operations, and the all-important medic. It will also incorporate vehicles, including the alien-built Stalker, which will have cloaking abilities."

LittleBigPlanet is a cute platformer game that has long been touted as the game you must buy a Playstation for. It is mostly known for its unique look and level editor features, that are said to allow players to make their own levels (see the video linked in the first paragraph when I first stated the game's title) and upload them for the community. The game, again, has been woefully delayed and I can't really trust when it'll come out.

Video Game Ideas You'll Wish You Thought Of

2008-01-13T12:26:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, some of these names were generated by this site to get the creative juices flowing.

Vandal Hero: Don't buy it, kids, it's a trap! In the game, you're a regular high school kid who vandalizes territory to gain props points. But the trick is, you're actually learning while you vandalize! Rearrange the letters on church bulletin board marquis-things into naughty words and clever commentary on the said religious institution, but learn about anagrams at the same time! Spraypaint graffitti on walls that is actually artistic! You think you're being bad, but you're really just inside learning... What a shame for the games industry...

Vampire Theme Park Espionage: I would compare this game to Spore. You start off by creating a theme park, like Roller Coaster Tycoon or something similar. Then, your theme park gets nuked and there are suddenly all these undead creatures around, but you, the owner, are still alive. What you have to do is stay alive and keep those zombies and vampires entertained by your theme park attractions or else they'll have nothing better to do than kill you. The trick is, you can't just manage the park, but you have to sneak around all the undead to get to the offices that control everything. If you want a new janitor, you'll have to sneak around and find one before he gets zombified and then escort him to wherever you put your janitorial headquarters to get him started on the job. Then, you'll have to get back to roller coaster design headquarters using your espionage skills so you can build a new ride. (But that'll require more engineers... Hmm...)

Advanced Fishing- the Card Game: If you thought fishing games were boring, you just wait! Now you have to wait to generate mana before you have the ability to reel in that moderately sized fish.

Erotic Platypus Pioneer: Explore the Louisiana Purchase! And...

Blog Tycoon: Use that Black Hat SEO to get your page ranking higher on Google! Make sure that your post titles include every single word in the dictionary for the Xbox achievement. Be sure to set up a separate computer to automatically visit your page for those 1000 impressions.

Helen Keller: the Game: Utilizing the new Playstation 3 Rumble Controller, try to figure out just what you're feeling. There's not really any way to know, but if you guess correctly into your mic headset, then you score 1 point. Black screen, no sound.

Beijing Olympics 2008: This game will likely exist, but here's how it should work. You grow up separated from your parents to train for the glory of your nation, with no other purpose in life. You aren't allowed to pick which event you'll play or which country you'll represent, or anything about how good you are at certain things. You train and train, and if you qualify to represent your country, then you can compete in the Olympics at last. Then you show up, march around, and lose immediately because you find you're a member of the Vanuatu Badminton team. The game then crashes your Playstation, because your life is basically over.

Weird Storyline Showcase: Mario

2008-01-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

Mario has perhaps the craziest story of any popular video game series, yet you'll find few who question it. "Why does that mushroom make him twice as big?" "Well, that's because it's a super mushroom, Suzy." Mario is embedded into people at such a young age that there's never really anybody that gets introduced to it when they would want to question why an Italian plumber is jumping on goombas to save a mushroom person named Toad (like toadstool, I know) so that he can then go on to save a perfectly human princess of a Mushroom-person Kingdom from a turtle-ish thing named Bowser. But it gets crazier than that. (Before I forget, the picture at right is from Felixe on Flickr. Do you know how hard it is to find a usable Mario picture without copyright?)

As this Escapist Magazine article explains, Mario has an extremely flexible story as well. It's barely defined, so Superstar Saga could just introduce a new BeanBean Kingdom that apparently exists parallel to the Mushroom one. It never existed before, and there's no reason it should now, but it works just fine. Nobody complains about that, and there's no reason for them to. Also, is Mario from Brooklyn or the Mushroom Kingdom? And how is there a group of stereotypical Italians in this Mushroom Kingdom along with a single princess and lots of mushroom and turtle things? It doesn't matter, dude. It's Mario.

At least basically every Mario game can be reasonably expected to carry a lot of gaming quality. Name a bad Mario game. There may have been one or two in the twentieth century, but they're hard to find in general. Mario games are always 8 and up games, and the main series of platformer Mario games are always extremely well reviewed. Super Mario Galaxy would appear to be the best reviewed game of all time. No one hates Mario. He's such a weird concept with such a weird story, but he wasn't introduced today, so he has a permanent place in gam

Introducing CheapSkate: Your Mascot for Cheap Games

2008-01-10T19:30:00.000-05:00

Introducing a new site mascot, CheapSkate! He's a bottom-dwelling cartilaginous fish who grew up in the meaner parts of Britain (the seas around it) and he's a big fan of video games. The only problem is, his $100 a year salary for living as an endangered skate is hardly enough to get the big games throughout the year, so he has to maximize his gaming pleasure with the cheapest ones out there. Here is his guide, loyally translated from Fish into English using a Babelfish, to the cheapest gaming experiences out there. (Be sure to read the following in a Dickensian British accent for a full translation experience, just a suggestion.)

Cheap Gaming Suggestions

#1: $8.96 Circuit City games

There was a recently released list of games at Circuit City here that let gamers now which of their games had had their prices dropped to the bottom bin, but there are a couple of savants in that special ed class. If you want any EA Sports game that says 2006 or 2007 on it, you can probably get it. Last-gen games dominate the lists as well. I was a bit sad to see Parappa the Rapper for the PSP on the list, but oh well. Gun is also a pretty nice game on the list, for several consoles. Check out the list if you're interested, but it's pretty tough to read and the store's selection certainly won't include all of those. 'Tis the fate of the brick & mortar.

#2: Gametap

Not to endorse a big product, (Turner Broadcasting owns them? Really? No wonder they have enough money to just buy out games like they do) but Gametap has to be a good source for lots of games for very little money. For basically the cost of one big new game a year, you can get access to their huge selection as it keeps on and on increasing. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of crappy games on there, but most of those are at least nostalgic while big pretty new games get released every so often on the service as well. Gametap is the best place to get Sam & Max games, and also features a selection of third-person shooter-ish games like Tomb Raider, Bloodrayne, Hitman, and Thief. Besides, the $60 a year thing, they also offer a lot of games for free. You just download their program, and from there you can play several full games for nothing besides the incentive to sign up for their program. Ugh, corporate endorsement. I feel dirty, let's move on, even though I'm not getting a penny for recommending their service.

#3: Sleeper Hits of Yester-Year

Some of these games made it big anyway, but here are several now-cheap wonderful games and series, arranged in a nice little diamond:

Sly Cooper
Splinter Cell
Beyond Good & Evil
More old EA Sports games
Metal Gear Solid
Psychonauts
Pirates!
Doom

Plus, anything for the DS will basically work, because good lord have they got a lot of cheap little casual games. Brain Age 2 is $20 or less, assuming you're not in certain stores that overcharge for used games. Oh yeah, and maybe I should have said that, get used games. You should know that I think, but used games will be cheaper for the price of one chewed up manual. As long as your game isn't for the PC and it requires a CD code from the manual, you should be fine (just find CD codes online for stuff, anyway, if you're really cheap about it.) That should be about all for today's CheapSkate Guide to Cheap Games, now I have to, uh, "lay eggs in a horny case known as a mermaid's purse". (Thank you, Wikipedia!)

Politics: Wisconsin Video Game Tax?

2008-01-09T17:59:00.000-05:00

State Senator Jon Erpenbach (D) of Wisconsin has proposed an extra 1% tax on video games on top of the regular 5% sales tax. This increase in tax is set up to fund juvenile criminal rehabilitation. I'm not going to say that the cause is a problem, but this is really unfair to tag it on to video games, as if they were the problem. If you get the gamepolitics.com newsletter, they should be telling you about this, but you probably don't, so that's why I'm telling you about this.

This really can't be allowed to happen, if it's even constitutional, because it just confirms that politicians can't understand that video games are the least offensive of mass media products. You can't allow them to make a law on video games as if they were responsible for putting the 17-year-olds in prison in the first place. Just a quick rant, I'll leave it at that. Look here if you need more info.

PS3 Is Doing Well, Because People Say That it's Doing Well

2008-01-08T12:01:00.000-05:00

According to the Blogosphere Echo Chamber, the Playstation 3 is in great shape. This is mostly because of the recent Blu-Ray declared victory in the format war. In case you don't know, Warner Bros. transferred from HD-DVD to Blu-Ray, so apparently the format war is over. Paramount may or may not have a clause in their HD-DVD exclusivity contract that they can switch if Warner Bros. does, so every studio may switch over very soon, leaving HD-DVD completely dead.

Because of that, the media has finally stopped reporting "Playstation 3 is dying!" stories and started reporting the "Xbox 360 is dying!" stories, instead. If you're not sensational about your headline, you won't get anybody to read it. However, if everyone is sensational in their headlines but you, then maybe no one will read theirs. That's the theory behind my post, basically, is chill out, media.

It's a bit like the Presidential Primaries right now, really. A candidate does better in the primaries if people think they can win. That's why Iowa and New Hampshire and all the other early primaries/caucuses are considered so important even though they're in relatively unimportant states (I'm in South Carolina, so I'm not saying my state's better than yours at all. In fact, our state matters maybe less and its primary is a bit later). The media waits for a winner, declares them the frontrunner, and therefore that "frontrunner" candidate is strengthened by the increased media attention and public belief that they can win.

The high definition format war was reported as a strict tie forever, so the media would (and was already beginning to) jump on any ability to say one format is the victor. Then that declaration along with the lack of a big Xbox announcement at CES made the media decide that the PS3 is going strong. I'm just saying that you shouldn't declare a winner so easily in the media if you can help it.

Studying Studies: Violent Video Game Research at the University of Michigan

2008-01-07T20:31:00.000-05:00

Research on violent video games comes out in a completely polarized fashion, at least as they are reported by the press. The studies always are reported as confirming or disproving that violent video games have a negative effect on people and society. This series of posts will discuss these studies and assess their validity one by one.

This specific edition of Studying Studies features the studies coming from the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research. These studies come from L. Rowell Huesmann, professor of psychology and communication studies and Brad Bushman, another research professor. They made plenty enough studies to fill up this post, so the rest will have to wait for another day, I've decided after looking at the length of the post once written.

Going in chronological order, a study released on December 5, 2005 concluded that violent video games can desensitize gamers to real-world violence. Thirty-nine male gamers of college age were studied, beginning with simple questioning of which games they played and how aggressive they considered themselves in specific situations. Then they showed them images while monitoring a brainwave thought to reveal how people "evaluate a stimulus, such as a photograph". The images were in three categories, which they describe as "emotionally neutral (a mushroom, a man riding a bicycle), violent (a man holding a gun to another man's head) or negative but nonviolent (a dead dog)." Then those studied were to compete for reaction time with a partner, with the winner determining how long and loud the opponent's blast of noise would be, meant to calculate their aggression. The gamers were not actually partnered up, but just monitored in this task.

The findings were (according to their article, not that I can find the specific data) that those who play violent video games more have less reaction to the violent images, according to that brainwave. Then it found that those same violent video game players are more likely to be more aggressive with the sound blasts in the last exercise. For the first claim, I don't find that very controversial, that if you play violent video games then you won't find violent images (they're still images, not real life) as shocking. I would be more shocked as the person playing Tetris beforehand when I saw a dead dog than the guy who was playing Veterinary Clinic 2: Mercy Killing.

Another University of Michigan study released on July 2nd, 2007 was about whether or not gaming affected socializing and school work in terms of time spent. Their sample included almost 1,500 kids 10-19 years old, with a little bit more than a third who played games. The games were basically shown to be completely irrelevant to socializing time, while (shock!) reducing the amount of time that they read and studied. The study does not include non-gaming time factors, such as extra-curricular activities like sports and band that would (gasp again!) reduce the amount of time kids have to read and/or study. None of that is really surprising.

The third and most attention-getting study was released on November 27th, 2007, and it stated that more than fifty years of research revealed video games as a public health threat. There really aren't a lot of details for this particular study in their news release, but according to them "the research clearly shows that exposure to virtual violence increases the risk that both children and adults will behave aggressively." The full study can be found here, if you like, and that describes the specific findings. Most sensational in the report was the claim that the effect of media violence on real aggression is second only to that of smoking on cancer.

A gamepolitics.com interview (I link to them an awful lot) later allowed L. Rowell Huesmann to qualify what his report had said. Here's what they said:

"GamePolitics: Your study has been widely reported in mainstream and video game enthusiast sites as saying that violent media is the number two public health threat behind smoking. However, what I read your study to say is that the correlation between media violence and aggression is second only to that between smoking and lung cancer among [select] public health threats [those listed by Huesmann]. Am I correct about this?
L. Rowell Huesmann: Yes, you are correct. And furthermore, there may be other public health threats that are also greater that I don’t know about. The real point is that the effect size is almost as big as smoking on lung cancer and bigger than a number of other threats that many people consider serious. This means the effect size is big enough that we should all really be concerned about the effects of violent video games on children.
GP: Also - among the threats listed I don’t see [major] things like obesity & diabetes, guns & homicide, drinking & car crashes, etc. Could you address why?
LRH: No reason. I picked ones I thought people would be surprised about. In fact I would guess that the ones you mention would be even larger. Let me know if you figure them out, please."

Hmm. I'll allow you to evaluate that as you will, but it seems a bit negligent to me. Anyway, these will be evaluated alongside other studies in future posts, but here's your first sample of the crazy research going on about violent video games that are constantly cited by anti-gaming politicians, layering doubts upon doubts and misinterpretation upon misinterpretation.

Your Regular Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov's Guide to Тetris

2008-01-06T12:50:00.000-05:00

Tetris is of course the classic puzzle game of the falling tetronimos. You all know it, and would have been killed by someone at some point if you did not love it. It's the Bol'shaia Igra, Alexey Pajitnov's Russian game that must always be found on lists of the best games of all time. It has been played more than any other game in history, mostly because a version of it exists on most every console and most sophisticated electronic devices as well, such as calculators and cellphones. This post examines the game's complicated history.

History - История

In 1985, Alexey Pajitnov (pictured a little bit down the page) came up with the game's concept at the Moscow Academy of Sciences. His game was based off of his love of pentomino puzzle pieces. The name itself is a combination of tetromino (from tetra- the Greek root for four) and tennis, Pajitnov's favorite sport. Vadim Gerasimov coded a port of the game to the IBM PC from its original Electronika 60 heritage. The game spread among technical personnel throughout Moscow, then Russia, and eventually to Budapest, Hungary.

Due to Soviet law, the rights to the game immediately belonged to the USSR, and Pajitnov himself was unable to sell them. The English company Andromeda found Tetris in Budapest and contacted Pajitnov to secure the rights from the Soviet government. This effort failed, however, so Andromeda attempted to get the rights from the Hungarians they found the game from. Without any official legal rights, Andromeda sold them to Spectrum Holobyte and companies associated with it, resulting in the game's first American release in January 1988.

In May, Andromeda finally obtains the rights for the game for computer only. Again breaching this agreement, they sign off rights for Atari to release an arcade version, who in turn sell Japanese arcade rights to Sega. Atari also sells more rights it doesn't really have in allowing Tengen to release a home video game version. Henk Rogers of Bullet-Proof Software also sells illegal rights, which eventually lead to the Game Boy version of Tetris that would become so popular, introducing the famous Music A based on the Russian tune Korobeiniki.

Nintendo was now somewhat officially owner of the rights from Elorg, the Russian group representing the original rights, and they forced Tengen to recall their horribly named TETЯIS, which would be pronounced Tet-ya-is using the fake Cyrillic backwards R letter. Nintendo profited greatly from the deal, while Pajitnov himself did not. The rights are officially to return to him in 1995, (after the Soviet Union dissolved and Elorg became a private company). Pajitnov moved to the United States along with his now-friend Henk Rogers and prepared to fight for his ownership rights by founding the Tetris Company.

In 1996, the negotiations for the rights end with The Tetris Company taking the larger part of the rights split with Elorg. This spawns rights deals for most major consoles at one point or another. In 2005, Pajitnov's company bought out Elorg's part of the rights, now owning them fully.

Well, the history is enough for now. You all obviously know how Tetris is today, because it's everywhere. Despite The Tetris Company's cease-and-desist letters to everyone using the name Tetris in their falling-block puzzle games, Tetris can be found on basically anything. This is mostly because, despite its brilliant concept, it's still very easy to code. These small Tetris variants are completely free of rights trouble if they don't use the name Tetris, and aren't necessarily screwed even if they do.

Politics: Iowa Caucus Losses for Anti-Gaming Politicians

2008-01-05T15:01:00.001-05:00

This will just quickly sum up that Hildawg and Mitt Romney both lost in upsets in the Iowa Caucuses, the first round of the primaries (though they're not technically primaries until New Hampshire Tuesday). My previous post on the subject should fill you in on their stances on video game legislation. The candidates that won, Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee, both have specific factors increasing their video game, uh, street cred. Obama is cool simply because he sounded the least willing to pass legislation to ban M-rated video games for minors, though still not exactly defending their right to play them.

Huckabee, though I don't support him at all, has at least documented proof that he has played Guitar Hero (along with real guitar). The gamepolitics.com article here talks about it, though the doctored photo is a bit weird. Huckabee did not respond to the survey from my previous post, however, so his stance on video game legislation is unknown.

Anyway, sort of good news for the political gamer. I'm not suggesting that you vote on one issue like these articles talk about, but at least make sure you vote if you're able, or else these politicians will never represent the youth perspective as much as they ought to. We shouldn't be settling for just the least offensive position on video game legislation as we are anyway.

Weird Storyline Showcase: Parappa and Metal Gear Solid

2008-01-02T21:06:00.000-05:00

Today's Weird Storyline Showcase will discuss the stories of the Parappa the Rapper and Metal Gear Solid series. As I did last time, I'll start with the zany one and end with the good but odd one.

Parappa the Rapper and Metal Gear Solid 1-3 spoiler alert

However, I'm not going to talk about the story of Metal Gear Solid 4. It won't be out until apparently next summer, and I'm not going to spoil anything I know, so we'll just talk about Metal Gear Solid 1-3 (maybe something from Portable Ops thrown in). But, for now it's-

Parappa the Rapper! Like Katamari Damacy, it's weird, heavily Japanese, and extremely fun. Now, I'm just going to take the short plot synopsis from Wikipedia here, because it really works plenty well enough, and is funnier than I would likely present it.

"The player takes on the role of PaRappa, a paper-thin rapping dog. He is trying to win the heart of a flower-like girl named Sunny Funny. He is aided by his friends Katy Kat (an enthusiastic cat) and PJ Berri (a fat teddy bear DJ with a huge appetite). Also vying for Sunny Funny's attention is PaRappa's arch rival Joe Chin, a rich, narcissistic dog.

To impress Sunny Funny, PaRappa learns to fight at a kung-fu dojo, takes a driver's education course to get his license, learns the art of flea-market training to raise money for a new car, bakes a seafood cake, uses the bathroom, and finally, performs a hip hop song on stage at a party."

See? Isn't that terrific? The second Parappa game is perhaps crazier with a story about all the world's food being turned to noodles, involving levels such as burger making, romantic karate, a soul ant who gets transformed larger and smaller between music phrases, a crazy octopus barber, boot camp with roller skates, and then a faceoff with the noodle guy. That's about all there is to say about Parappa's story.

Metal Gear Solid has a great story in my opinion, but it is no doubt at least a little bit weird. I can't summarize the plot for all three games here, but I'll give little snippets. Basically, the games are set in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries and they involve espionage battles between various groups, like Russians vs. Americans or Terrorists vs. Americans, but typically a lot more complicated than that. To give an example of the complex nature of the plot, Here is a terrible summary that's framed to make the story sound more confusing:

Okay, the first Metal Gear Solid begins with you, Solid Snake, investigating a FOXHOUND rebellion at Shadow Moses. FOXHOUND demands the remains of Big Boss (your character in Metal Gear Solid 3 who looks just like Solid Snake and a boss in some Metal Gear game, I believe) In their rebellion, they've gained control of a secret Army robot walker thing called Metal Gear REX. Most of the bosses you have to neutralize are genetically enhanced somehow. In Metal Gear Solid 2, you're Raiden, some random rookie agent guy who everyone in the real world hates. Snake, as Pliskin, helps you via radio along with the Major and you girlfriend, who's really prying and whiny about some previous conflict between the two of you. The Big Shell Disposal Facility has been taken by the Sons of Liberty, another group of genetically enhanced bosses basically, including a fat guy who plants a lot of bombs and an invincible lady named Fortune. The game sort of ends with a Solid, Liquid, and Solidus Snake all in basically the same place, and the Major starts going crazy because he's not Roy Campbell but just a computer simulation of him to fool Raiden to make him the perfect soldier. Plus, Metal Gear RAY, another Metal Gear thing is there, controlled by Liquid Snake/Revolver Ocelot. Metal Gear Solid 3 is actually a prequel, going back to the 60s with you playing as Big Boss, and you deal with another form of Metal Gear and see that Revolver Ocelot has a big role in screwing around with everybody. Then Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops actually has you founding FOXHOUND, which seems like totally a good thing, even though they're the bad guys in Metal Gear Solid.

Now that was intentionally cut short to make it seem more confusing, but the story's still pretty weird, and will need a lot more loose ends to be fixed by Metal Gear Solid 4 to make any sense. But I still love the storyline, partly because it's cryptic and confusing, so you actually have to think about what's going on. If you haven't played either of these games, it's a bit late to start but surely enough people will just enter the Metal Gear Solid storyline at number 4, so you can start studying up on the earlier story with any of the other Metal Gear Solid games. It doesn't especially matter which one you start with, given that they're not in narrative order anyway, so just play one of the games. You'll like it. Metal Gear Solid games are available for the Playstation 1 and 2, depending on which one you want, and the Gamecube actually has a remake of the first game on it. For the Xbox, you're screwed unless Metal Gear Solid 4 comes for the 360, which is apparently now not true even though there was a rumor for a while. And Portable Ops is for the PSP. That was an awfully wordy post.

Weird Storyline Showcase: Katamari Damacy and Uncharted

2008-01-01T22:36:00.000-05:00

I'm going to start up a new regular series, the Weird Storyline Showcase. These posts will highlight the wonderfully weird stories of gaming, from the off-the-wall Japanese ones to the poorly written or cliche-filled western ones. These will require a spoiler warning, so I'll post the names of the games whose storylines I'll be discussing before each actual post body. Anyway, for today's showcase I've chosen Katamari Damacy and Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. So, just to warn you:

Katamari Damacy and Uncharted: Drake's Fortune SPOILER WARNING

So anyway, Katamari Damacy is probably the best example of the off-the-wall, out-of-left-field, zany, silly Japanese storyline. (The box art on the right is great, isn't it?) In case you haven't heard of it yet, you are the Prince under the King of All Cosmos and you have to roll lots of stuff on Earth up into a huge ball. Your ball (a Katamari) has to be a certain size by the end of the level. The basic trick is rolling smaller things up enough so that you can roll bigger things up so that you can roll the biggest things up.

The storyline isn't very complex or especially important in the game, but here it is. The King of All Cosmos got drunk and knocked all the stars out of the sky on accident. You're the Prince, so you've got to roll up stuff on Earth into big balls, uh, I mean Katamaris that he can somehow turn into more stars. (I'm not trying to insinuate that the game is gay, by the way, even though it probably seems like it. I've played every Katamari Damacy game, they're really good at turning around a bad day) The story never really advances beyond that, but there are countless unexplained weird bits such as Strawberry Pandas (as opposed to the conventional chocolate panda, apparently) and every pre and post-level conversation with the King. The King of All Cosmos is second on my list of Creepiest Monarchs, just behind the Burger King. Compare:

Nice, aren't they? Moving on...

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is the one you'll more likely care about spoilers on, given that it's new and actually has a storyline. The story follows a sort of Indiana Jones-ish path throughout, with alternate history thriving. The main character (who has my name) is a descendant of Sir Francis Drake, English explorer and privateer, and the game begins with him just having found Drake's coffin off the coast of Panama. However, he and the show host Elena soon find out that there is only Drake's diary inside the coffin, not a body. Nathan Drake is then attacked by pirates, saved by his friend Sullivan, and a lot of not too-weird story follows.

The weird part (spoiler alert, again) comes maybe three quarters of the way into the game. Up until then, the story has been just treasure hunting fights between Gabriel Roman (bad guy) and Drake, Elena, and Sullivan (good guys). At that point, suddenly the story shifts into Mutants and Nazis instead of modern pirates and 16th century treasure. It turns out in the end, El Dorado (in this story a gold statue, not a city) corrupts people into mutants. This supplies the enemies for this section of the game, which require a completely different sort of combat, so it's really good for gameplay. Also, there were apparently Nazis looking for the treasure as well that don't really factor into the game other than providing a new look for these chapters. You don't ever fight a Nazi or anything, you just see two U-boats and some rotten Nazi skeletons.

So that gives you Japanese and American examples of weird storylines. The Japanese one is typically crazy, while the American one is just a weird plot twist that didn't make a whole lot of sense, especially the Nazi part. The plot twist allowed for a nice switch-up in gameplay, though, so it's good, but still weird. I wouldn't have included it today if it weren't for how recently I've played it, but I'll be like the Oscars (and Game of the Year awards) and just give it to the last good movie/game that came out this year. Both games are terrific, I should say, these mentions are not in any way to denigrate them.

Crumpled Tin Awards: Game of the Year

2007-12-31T11:34:00.001-05:00

The poll for Game of the Year will soon be closed, and I have actually decided to listen to the voters this year. Your choice will determine the Game of the Year that will receive the luxurious Crumpled Tin Award. Hopefully I'll be able to afford a better trophy next year, but that's beside the point for now. The people have spoken, and here's the winner:

The Crumpled Tin Award for Game of the Year, 2007, goes to:

Not Manhunt 2 by Rockstar Games

You all voted, and by an overwhelming majority the winner was "Please use Google Maps to find and kill the guy who said Manhunt 2 was the best." The gaming industry has unofficially disowned this game that caused so much negative media for them. Concerns over ultra-violent games rose yet again, (even though the worst in Manhunt 2 can be seen in Hostel films), and the game wasn't even any good. We could defend Grand Theft Auto, but Manhunt didn't deserve it.

I was having a very difficult time picking the best game of this year, and at least I manage to be completely unique in my pick by listening to the poll voters. Now, I need to wrap this up so I can wrap up and send packages of crumpled tin to every game publisher except Rockstar. That's going to take a while...

Things that Happen in Video Games that Would Never Happen in Real Life

2007-12-30T21:39:00.000-05:00

1. In real life, people don't usually accidentally jump in the wrong direction. Camera angle issues in general don't affect real life people.
2. Real people never jump on someone to kill them.
3. Real life tank turrets don't rotate in stages. Battlefield 2 tanks must do this all the time because of the commander having to swing his mouse in one direction over and over.
4. Real life musicians don't compete to see who's better at that Dragon Force song. I'm just sayin'.
5. Real life soldiers don't "hump" their kills.
6. Real life people can tell what's a wall and what isn't. Only mimes have to deal with those pesky invisible ones.
7. Real life people wait until they're near the end of a clip before they reload.
8. The real life medical profession is nothing at all like Dr. Mario.
9. In a real life fistfight, there aren't really combos to memorize.
10. In real life, the main character can talk and see his own feet, unlike Gordon Freeman in Half-Life.

I've got nothing to say, but it's O.K.

2007-12-30T16:33:00.000-05:00

I've no clue what to post about today, so I decided to work on a new site banner. Here's the first new option, hopefully I'll be back with more:

I like the Qbert background a lot, but there's something mediocre about it. I'll keep working...

Crumpled Tin Awards: Best Independent Game

2007-12-29T14:24:00.000-05:00

To continue the fabulously unpopular end-of-year Crumpled Tin Awards, I decided today I'd award my favorite independent game of the year. You know, most of them are just little games that you get at the Xbox Arcade or Playstation Store for a dime a dozen. The lines on what games can be considered independent are a bit blurry, but I'm certain my winner exists well away from that ill-defined line. Some good news for the winning game: The influx of traffic to this site has allowed me to refine my trophy a bit from the soda cans that were presented to the best sports games, so here's the new official Crumpled Tin Award to the right, (actually just a photo under Creative Commons license from tanakawho on Flickr). Anyway, on with the show.

The Crumpled Tin Award for Best Independent Game of 2007 goes to:

Everyday Shooter by Jonathan Mak

This little title on the Playstation Store carries a lot of hope. The title was basically made by just the one guy, Jonathan Mak, and is the best casual game I've played recently. Using both analog sticks (or the D-pad and face buttons) the player controls a small glowing dot that shoots other abstract enemies on screen, creating music in a way not unlike the recently revived classic rhythm game Rez. It's just a top-down shooter, but fun in a more intangible way. Find it, play it, and you'll hopefully see what I mean. This abstract art Crumpled Tin Award fits the game well, because Everyday Shooter deservedly brought out again the idea that video games could be art.

Please continue voting on the poll at the right as to which game you consider the best of the year. I won't be dumb like Gamespot and rule that your choice wins, but there's a growing chance that I'll listen from the way the poll is shaping out. I can't wait to see who votes for Manhunt 2 first, given that there are at least six people who want his head.

WoW March Confirms Ron Paul as Internet's Candidate

2007-12-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

I don't personally play World of Warcraft, but on January 1st WoW players are going to march for Ron Paul for some reason. I'm not sure exactly what the cause is, I guess just to get him elected, but it seems sort of weird and pointless to me. The real news about this is that Ron Paul, an underdog Republican candidate for the presidency, is so popular on the series of tubes that are the internets that so many people are taking time from actually playing an MMORPG for this. Some people will inevitably create new characters in that server just to contribute to the march, too.

Ron Paul enjoys an incredible lead over other candidates online, primarily because of his defiance to the views of the other candidates (and the crowds) at Republican debates. People who are either not politically active or disillusioned with both parties find Ron Paul's libertarian attitude refreshing, and feel empowered because he's not technically an independent candidate, either. No taxes and no government meddling in your business sounds perfect for people who don't typically vote or care about politics. Ron Paul would also eliminate every single government service, such as public schools, hospitals, and such to try and rebalance the budget after getting rid of the income tax, but he doesn't talk about that part as much.

Due to his popularity on the internet, Ron Paul can raise money for his campaign for infinity and beyond. Reports suggest 6 million overnight and 4.2 million in one day, setting records. I don't know about other people, but I see Ron Paul crap all over people's lawns and telephone poles, which is pretty atypical for the guy who clearly won't win any primary.

And that's true. Ron Paul stands basically no chance to win any primary. Republican primary voters belong to a completely different demographic than online Ron Paul supporters. If the Republican primaries were an online poll somewhere, then Ron Paul could definitely win. Because online poll voters belong to a completely different demographic than typical Republicans. Ron Paul would have already crashed out of the race if he weren't raising so much money all the time, allowing him to at least influence the Republican party before he's done.

I know this post is a bit off-topic, but the World of Warcraft news sort of tied it in and there's nothing I'm more interested in than where video games and politics collide, which is why you should really visit gamepolitics.com, it's a wonderful site.

Crumpled Tin Awards: Sports Games

2007-12-27T16:06:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of the season, that being the making of top ten lists and yearly awards, I hereby inaugurate the First Annual Crumpled Tin Awards. These really are (mostly) for the best games, but will have to be made out of crumpled tin. After all, this site is still noncommercial so I can barely afford the shipping here. But, I've cornered the market on useless old tin and various metals, so that's what the trophies will be. I've got a poll on the sidebar for you to vote for Game of the Year. It's not like whoever gets the most votes wins, because I decide which game I liked the most, but vote anyway and maybe I'll see your point. Anyway, today's Crumpled Tin Award is for the best Sports game of 2007. This will actually require two awards to be given out, I've decided. First:

The Crumpled Tin for Best Sports Game of the Year goes to:

Skate by EA Canada

My personal favorite game of the year, and the one I made the most money off of when I got 60 bucks for writing an FAQ for it. Skate beat out the Tony Hawk series in the minds of most this year, a previously unheard-of feat, even though Thrasher: Skate and Destroy was totally better than Tony Hawk's Pro Skater to begin with. Skate's innovative controls polarized public opinion, which always makes for a great game. That's my site's new motto, actually: "Controversiality equals Quality" There's only one issue, and that's people who don't consider skateboarding a sport. Okay, then, here's---

The Crumpled Tin for Best Sports Game if you don't consider skateboarding a sport (AKA second best sports game) of the Year goes to:

FIFA 08 from EA Somewhere Other Than Canada

I'm reluctant to do this, because I'm generally not much of a FIFA fan, but I think that it got the prize among conventional sports games. I don't have much conviction here, so comment if you think differently before I can get the Crumpled Tin in the mail.

Review: Portal

2007-12-26T16:20:00.000-05:00

Sorry, returning visitors (that's right, both of you) that I didn't make a post on Christmas Day, but I was too busy *reviewing* Portal along with The Orange Box. This post will take some time to comment on Portal as evaluated on the Playstation 3, though it is of course also available (and has been for a long time) on the Xbox 360 and PC.

I should likely set up a scheme for all of my reviews, so let's say... 10 points for each category. In case you're not familiar with Portal, it's a sort of puzzle shooter involving a single gun that shoots portals. These portals (blue and orange) travel to each other, so if you enter the blue one, you'll come out the orange one and vice versa. This simple mechanic is necessary to pass all of the obstacles the game throws at you. The unofficial Flash game can be found online, and it'll introduce the general mechanics of the game.

Graphics: 9 / 10

It's the Half-Life 2 engine we're using here, so it looks pretty good. The game intentionally tries to keep the environments simple, though, so the graphics power isn't used to its full capacity. After all, this is basically a puzzle game.

Story: 9 / 10

Despite the fact that this category is almost not applicable in puzzle games, and there doesn't even seem to be a story in the game to begin with, there is one. I'm not here to spoil anything, though. I'm just saying that there is something that I could definitely spoil. Plus, GLaDOS (the disembodied computer voice that guides you throughout the levels) and the android turrets in the game are hilarious.

Gameplay: 9 / 10

Sorry to be so repetitive with the nines, but again, it's not perfect but close. The game makes for a wonderful little game, but it's still short. It's bundled with the rest of The Orange Box for this reason. Six hours of play will likely be enough for anyone to complete the game, unless they're well and truly stuck. You can play it again, and the developer commentary makes it worth your while, as do the challenges like "least portals" or advanced mode. Still, not all that many people will play it again, but will rather move on to Half-Life 2: Episode Two.

With that, I would give the game a 9 overall. It's short, but it's so, so fun. I didn't want to factor this into my scores, but it was rivalling Skate for my favorite game of the year. The game is perfectly balanced in difficulty, humor, and adrenaline-raising portions (you'll see). I would recommend this game to almost anyone, even though it has to fit a weird demographic. Think about it: It's a puzzle game that's rated M. And... It's a shooter with at most very light combat (turrets) and not much action. Pitch perfect, though, anyone should try it.

While I'm on the topic, check this Portal papercraft out.