The Wink of an Eye

Baby #2 Update - 25 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sat, 11 May 2013 19:20:00 +0000

Happy Mother's Day weekend! I'm hoping to have a Mother's Day post up tomorrow, but sometimes I get a little to ambitious and things don't happen, so if it doesn't go up, Happy Mother's Day!
(P.S. If you're sick of reading baby bump updates, I actually wrote a non-baby bump update yesterday HERE)

This weekend started out great. On Friday morning, at 8:15, I sat and let orange, delicious glucose drink pulse through my system, causing the kiddo to bounce and my stomach to go “blech” for approximately an hour. I'm extremely grateful that this time around I didn't get the fainty, clammy feeling I got last time, requiring to me to inquire of the nurse if I might lay down before I fell on the floor. I spent the majority of the time browsing various social media, posting awesome pictures that no one cares about and playing Candy Crush (don't judge) on my phone.

Awesome glucose drink. Follow me on Instagram at TheWinkofanEye.

We will likely get the results come Monday at our doctor’s appointment. Fingers crossed that I pass (though, in a strange way, a 3-hour chunk of time where all that’s required of you is to drink some stuff and get some blood drawn doesn’t sound so awful…)

This week has been a hormonal doozy. My poor, poor husband has suffered so much more in this realm when it comes to pregnancies. Despite him being around (it was his weekend), as well as having MOPS and getting some time solo, I felt on the verge of an adult temper tantrum both Wednesday and Thursday. Bless my husband for being able to read my signals and just go with it. He knows when to leave me alone, when to take C outside so I can breathe and when I need a pick-me-up. Maybe I need to learn some new coping skills. Here’s to a more positive feeling week next week.

Otherwise, things have been plugging along as usual. On Tuesday, I walked into the bathroom and upon looking in the mirror was shocked to see a very distinguishable baby bump. Apparently this was the week baby really decided to show himself. My suspicions have been confirmed as I've gotten many more concerned looks when refusing help out to my car to carry my one bag of groceries, the ladies in the leasing office are making comments about the baby really growing without talking about C and encountering many more helpful people when it comes to holding doors open. None of which are bad things.

Tuesday belly selfie.

Some of the moms on community boards I'm a part of seem really, really sensitive to unsolicited comments about belly size and newborn mommy advice, and most of the time, I don't really understand that. I mean, I get being slightly put off when people aren't articulate or thoughtful about the way they are saying things about size, but someone saying "you're getting bigger!" is not something to send me into a binge-eating, ugly-crying depression. I mean, seriously. I am getting bigger, and I know it. And, while I might feel fat, that's not what they mean. The fact is that most people mean well and are only trying to be encouraging. And the people who are being mean or dumb are people you should probably brush off anyway. Just a slight, random tangent. Whatever.

And thanks to Carise (a high school friend who's getting ready to be a first-time mama in August who blogs HERE and is one of the wittiest writers I follow) for the suggestion of Old Navy for maternity swim wear. Since I buy so much of my other maternity wear from there, I am surprised I didn't think of it myself. So, I purchased this beauty this week, and we'll see when it comes in the mail how it works out. Fingers crossed. Returns are a pain in the butt and my regular bathing suit isn't going to cut it much longer. People just don't want to see that.

Compare to 25 weeks with Caleb HERE.

How far along: 25 weeks, 1 day

How big is baby: 13.5" long and about 1.5 pounds!

Maternity Clothes: Have I mentioned yes? I've also had to reign myself in from buying more summer things. I have this idea of a perfect maternity maxi dress that I haven't found yet (the definition of perfect includes "under $25"). I love finding new ways of dressing my belly to show it off (to a modest degree anyway). I'm finally getting out of the "I look fat" and back into "proud of my belly."

Sleep: Mine's been great, C's on the other hand has continued to throw us for a loop. Last week his naps were way out of whack and the last three days he's gotten up at 6:15. So, my sleep has been great when I get to sleep ;-)

Even when he doesn't nap well, he still looks so cute
when he wakes up!

Food cravings/aversions: My heartburn/reflux has been out of control this time around. So, what does that mean? Ice cream seems like the perfect cooling solution. Totino's Party Pizzas have been a vice for me as well. Those little things are so dang good. I sure wish I craved fruits and veggies.

Movement: He's been bouncing around more and more in there. Twisting, turning, punching. I don't mind so much, except when he's on my bladder. And, I find it humorous when C is sitting on my lap and the baby starts going at it strong. He's already trying to get a leg up ;-)

Notables: I'm not sure if it's "nesting" or just motivation, but I've been having this crazy need to organize and purge this week. So, I started re-doing our living room decor/pictures (which I've been putting off... we've had the same since 2010) and trying to figure out how I'm going to maximize shelving in the nursery to fit things in there for baby.

Looking forward to: Finding out if I passed my glucose test and also our upcoming trip to Michigan. I love going back to Minnesota, but something about going back to Michigan is so calming. It's usually a very relaxed trip, and I love utilizing my in-laws lawn, taking strolls through the neighborhood and enjoying the Midwestern green. Can't wait.

Home for Now

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 10 May 2013 19:26:00 +0000

...

As I mentioned in my unsettled post, we're playing a waiting game with the FAA right now when it comes to our move back home. But, if I'm honest, I can probably tell you that we're over 90% sure that we're not moving home — at least not this year. Maybe next year if bids open up this fall (as we've been told they maybe will), but not this September as we had hoped. We've learned not to hold our breath unless we want to be on the verge of death and extremely blue in the face.

Over the weeks, Jon and I have felt very at peace with where we are, and are feeling confident that right now we are where God wants us. Which is nice.

Along with this peace, I've realized that since being here, Jon and I have lived in the future, anticipating our eventual move home. We constantly say "oh, we'll buy that when we move home" or "we'll do this and that when we move home." That's left us with a really old leather couch that's falling apart, a dining room table that I actually grew up eating on and a queen-sized bed that's begging to be tossed out for a king and placed in a decorated master bedroom.

Now, all of these things do the job. They provide a place to watch TV, a place to eat and a place to sleep. They are things that I know many people would love to have. So, I may sound like a whiny brat when I say that I just really, really want to feel like I live in a place I've made into a nice home, because right now I sometimes feel like I'm still living in a pieced-together post-college apartment.

So, I told Jon that once we move this September when our lease is up (hopefully to a rented house), I'm done living in the "we're waiting until we move home" state of mind. That means working toward a new dining room set or a bedroom set or whatever we decide on. Wherever we land in the coming months, I'm going to make it our home and make it feel like a place that we can settle for awhile, even if that's not our ultimate plan. We're going to live our life in the now.

This change of mindset also goes for the way we live our life down here — which is definitely a bigger change than the furniture in our house. It means that, as hard as it is not focusing on future holidays that will actually involve people (since we spend all of our holidays alone....), we need to start making family traditions here. Embrace the life we're leading here. Just like we're not planning on leaving. I mean, what would we be doing if that wasn't even an option!?

This change will most definitely take vigilant effort, because sometimes it's easier for us to find joy in what might be our future as opposed a a present that sometimes isn't appealing or what we want. But, I think it will do our family good. It will help us feel more like we are living our lives to the fullest NOW, instead of watching it pass by while we wait for something we're not sure of. And, I'm so sick of feeling like that's what we're doing. It's stifling and depressing and is such a downer, when in reality, our life is SO good.

It's the change of heart I think that I've been waiting for. A push in the right direction. It doesn't mean California is "home," but it means accepting it as home for now... and that's a point it's only taken me 4 years to reach.

Baby #2 Update - 24 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 08 May 2013 00:03:00 +0000

Learning to balance on the belly ;-)

Blah. I'm SO wiped out today.

C's napping and maybe I should be doing the same, even though I already did so this morning. However, I wanted to update so that I didn't miss a week.

This post is lame-o. Sorry.

Photo at 24 weeks (Compare to 24 weeks with C HERE)

How far along: Right now I'm 24 weeks, 4 days. That boggles my mind.

How big is baby: Weighing in at around 1.32 pounds and about as long as foot-long sub (that means he's 12 inches). Mmmm... sub...

Maternity clothes: Yes. Right now I'm on the prowl for a semi-cheap maternity swimsuit. While I wouldn't typically spend $$ on that, this pregnancy will be in the heart of summer and C LOVES the pool. So, instead of going in naked, I figured I'd better clothe my belly. If anyone has any suggestions, they would be welcome!

Sleep: Decent... besides going to bed too late when I shouldn't. I'm so grateful that hip pain hasn't plagued this pregnancy like it did C's. I've also been forced to rouse myself earlier, as C has shifted his morning schedule to a 7:15 a.m. wake up call instead of his typical 8 a.m. one. Major bummer. That means earlier bedtimes for this mama. Also, as mentioned previously, I've been wiped by midday the last couple days. C seems to get heavier and I seem to get slower. Oh man, I can't imagine how it will be when I'm actually larger.

Food Cravings/Aversions: This week I had a couple days where I just really wasn't hungry at all. Then I have days like today where I feel like I could eat all day. I've been forcing myself not to buy lots of treats at the grocery store because I know I'll devour them in 2 milliseconds.

Movement: Jon really felt him moving and grooving in there this week. There was one night while we were lying in bed and that kiddo was just going to town wailing on me. However, after that night, he remained relatively "quiet" for several days. Not quiet enough to alarm me, but enough that I noticed. He just has his chill days, I guess. He seems to bounce around the most at night and I almost always feel him when I wake up in the middle of the night.

Looking forward to: Well, looking forward to might not be the right phrase, but I have my glucose screening this week and I'm eager to have the completed. Here's to hoping that I pass with flying colors like I did last time and don't have to deal with a three-hour test. Bottom's up!

Notables: I had my first stranger "acknowledgement" this week — a lady asking me in a medical office elevator if I was going to prenatal care. I also have turned the leaf of wearing my own T-shirts to bed and have raided Jon's drawer, since mine are no longer long enough. Thank goodness for my tall hubby and his long shirts!

Baby #2 Update - 23 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:36:00 +0000

Hey there peeps!

Last night I was laying in bed just running things over in my head and realized I had succeeded in taking my weekly picture, but had completely failed in actually posting my update! Silly me. It's not really like this week has been busy or out of the ordinary or anything, just completely slipped my mind. I'll play the obvious card and blame it on pregnancy brain. Today I almost walked out of the grocery store with 3 12-packs on the bottom of my cart and I chalked it up to the same thing (or it could have been the toddler I was trying to control...)

The news in our world this week (completely unpregnancy related) was the passing of the bill that makes the FAA exempt from the sequester in order to release the controller furloughs causing the many airport delays reported last week. While the furloughs weren't necessarily a problem for us, we are hoping that this release will make things more favorable to get the answer we want to hear about our transfer. Only time will tell, but it's one thing out of the way anyway.

Otherwise, life here goes along as usual.

I just keep growing... (Compare to C at 23 weeks HERE)

How far along: 23 weeks and 3 days now (The picture, of course, taken at 23 weeks)

How big is baby: Apparently 11 inches from head to toe and just over a pound at 1.2.

Maternity Clothes: In an attempt to get the fam out of the house last week, we took a trip to the mall, where I perused the Motherhood Maternity store clearance. It's SO hard for me to justify spending the amount they want you to pay for clothes you're going to wear for maybe 4 months. But, I got a couple staples and things I knew I could get good use out of off the clearance. I'm starting to incorporate more maternity shirts into my wardrobe now, just because they're simply WAY more comfortable.

Sleep: Sleep's been really great, minus the wake-ups I'll expand upon in the "movement" section. Unless we go to bed too late (which tends to happen sometimes) I'm not overly tired in the mornings. By the afternoon however, I'm typically really, really tired. After C goes to bed I just crash on the couch!

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been wanting something REALLY good and chocolatey for a day or two now and have yet to determine what will give me my fix. This is something I have to figure out. Otherwise, I haven't been craving anything in particular. I did discover key lime Greek yogurt a couple weeks ago, and that's changed my life. SO good!

Gender: Is this category even necessary anymore?

Movement: As I mentioned earlier, this kid's movement has woken me up more than a time or two this week. That seems to be the time he parties the most. And it also seems to be the time he kicks the strongest. There are worse things to be woken up by though, I suppose. His kicks and punches are getting stronger and stronger. Jon felt the slightest kick this week, but the kid stops every time Jon puts his hand to my stomach, otherwise he would have been able to feel a lot more than that.

Looking forward to: I'm really looking forward to our trip to Michigan in the long term. That's still a little ways away. In the short term, I'm looking forward to our family's "weekend" and hoping the weather is good so we can maybe take C to the beach. I'm not looking forward to my glucose test in two weeks.

Notables: I've been getting so fed up with the storage in our apartment and have been really feeling the "chaos" of all the baby things stored everywhere. In that, I've also been trying to figure out how in the world I'll fit any baby things into the nursery, since C and baby storage dominate all the nooks and crannies currently. But, I'm coming up with some ideas and plans of action I'm hoping to get moving on here in a bit. The hard part is that we'll only be in this apartment until the end of September anyway, meaning we'll only have the baby here for a month. I just have to keep reminding myself that we'll make it work.

Unsettled.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:58:00 +0000

Feeling unsettled.

It's a feeling I've know so well now for the last four years, but especially so since November. That was when we were made aware of some controller positions that were opening up in Minnesota, with Jon applying as fast as he could. From November 10, we were constantly waiting on news and updates. Where were they in the hiring process? When were they expected to make the decision? Oh, they've made the decision, when are they letting people know their decisions?

At one point, we were given a sign that we could be 90%+ sure that we were moving back at the end of September. We tried hard to guard our hearts, but it was crazy difficult not to celebrate something that we'd been waiting for for years. We even told some close family and friends to prepare for our homecoming... you know, like if they wanted to start planning a party or something ;-) And then, on an unsuspecting Monday, we were informed that, due to the sequester/budget cuts, the facility was unable to hire as many controllers as anticipated and Jon wasn't picked up after all.

But, as always, the situation was left open ended, as there is a circumstance that may allow for Jon still to be picked up and for us to be moving home in September. Of course, due to the sequester and hiring freezes, we won't know any answers to that until June (for reasons outside the sequester).

Despite all this waiting, I've been surprisingly OK. I haven't been stressed about it and it's not constantly on my mind. Minus a few overwhelming and overly emotional weeks — usually a result of pregnancy hormones, an uncharacteristically crabby C and less time out of the house than necessary — I've been able to keep the "what ifs" mostly at bay and be relatively realistic and calm about the situation with the help of lots of prayer and supportive family and friends.

It's broken my heart to tell people that I don't expect to move home anymore.

Seriously, thank goodness that I started attending Bible Study Fellowship last fall. God has used it time and time again to speak to me about patience, His perfect timing, His perfect plan and how instead of focusing on what I want for our future to be more aware of how he's wanting me to use the now. This last week, we were studying the rise of Joseph (of the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) and how God used his years of suffering wrongly under numerous people to prepare him to help Egypt survive 7 years of extreme famine and save thousands of lives. He evolved from an arrogant 17-year-old into a wise, humble man ... and had God not use that time of suffering to mold him, no one in Egypt would have been saved.

(And on a sidenote: No one in my group was familiar with the musical made famous by Donny Osmond. It came up only when our study challenged us to memorize the names of Jacob's 12 sons and I told them the musical had a song about it. Granted, I'm the youngest in our group by many years... but I was still crazy shocked when they looked at me like I was from Mars. And no, I didn't sing the song.)

Now, obviously we are not "suffering" by living in San Diego. While my poor Minnesota peeps got dumped on by snow twice in the last month, we've been enjoying 70- and 80-degree days and took C for his first summer swim in the pool. But, I mean, you get where I'm going with this. God's timing is perfect, and so is His plan. If that plan means that we will be in San Diego for years to come, well, He has a reason for it.

So, for now, we wait. Unsettled and waiting for answers, yet also doing our best to follow the examples the Bible has set for us, in leaning on God's promises.

Baby #2 Update - 22 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:29:00 +0000

The one and only time I'll compare my son to a Barbie.

Hi there, and welcome to my life. I blog about my pregnancy, and beyond that, haven't had time to write anything else. Actually, I wrote a post earlier this week, but after reading and re-reading it, came to realize that it was epically pointless and didn't seem to have much flow, so I didn't post it. I think I was trying too hard and had other things on my mind. So, I'm sorry to have failed again.

This week was a rough one hormonally for me. Sometimes, as I'm sure we all do, I get in these ruts where I just can't get out of the doldrums. I feel unmotivated, sad and blah, and, on top of that, I also feel like I have a 2-year-old-esque temper tantrum I want to throw — but don't because it would be a sad, pathetic sight. During these times, I usually bathe in a ongoing pity party about the state of various things and spend C's nap times mourning the fact that there's nothing good on cable to escape into and finding solace in a bowl of ice cream/cereal/something else that sounds good at the moment. Please don't call the mental hospital. I've recovered, I swear.

I know, how could I be depressed around this happy face?

Yesterday, I got up determined to shake the feeling and prayed over and over again Nehemiah 8:10 "The joy of the Lord is my strength." Not surprisingly, yesterday ended up being one of the best days I've had in awhile. C took an awesome morning nap, and then the two of us ran errands and went to the park while Jon was at work. Minimal temper tantrums (from C) and lots of fun playing. God is good and faithful.

I also drank coffee with caffeine after several days of decaf, and I definitely felt an extra jolt. Whether that was the prayer, the wondrous miracle drug or both, I don't know... but, I'm not skipping the caffeine today (just in case).

It's in these times that I'm so thankful for my faith and my ability to lean on Christ through all things. I seriously don't know how people do without that.

Anywho, baby's been bouncing around in there, providing me with extra reminders of all I have to be grateful for. He's also been causing me really awesome heartburn almost every time I eat, which is totally tubular. Tums are awesome. I also have been getting crazy painful gas bubbles, which I never got with C, and those are awful. But, what can you do? I really don't have much to complain about. This pregnancy has been quite lovely so far.

22 weeks and feeling fine (compare to 22 weeks with C)

How far along? 22 weeks, 1 day (the picture was taken yesterday at 22 weeks)

How big is baby? According to my Pregnant Chicken update, the baby is about 11" long (about the length of a Barbie) and about a pound. Nice.

Maternity clothes: Due to said doldrums, I spent much of the week in trusty, ever-fitting yoga pants. I tried on a maternity shirt, but it was still too baggy in the front. But, half the T-shirts I'm wearing are causing C to yell "button" and point anytime I move my arms above my shoulders... so, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do there.

Sleep: Sleep's been awesome. No adventures to sleep on the couch and I'm one of the lucky pregnancy women who don't have to get up to pee all the time (or ever really). Hurray!
Food cravings/aversions: Man, I'm so into junk food right now, so I've been trying to really limit what I buy at the store, knowing I'll devour it in, like, a day or less. I also am eating lots of cereal.

Gender: Boy, boy, boy!

Movement: He's been bouncing and moving and shaking like crazy this week. I'm pretty sure he's not breach anymore, because the kicks and punches have moved from my lower abdomen up a bit higher. I've told Jon multiple times this week how he's constantly moving and rolling in there, though he still has yet to be able to feel it. I'm sure we'll get there.

Looking forward to: Uh, nothing crazy right now? There are days where I can't wait to meet him and fantasize about the newborn snuggles I'll get. And, I'm also getting really excited for our trip to Michigan next month (which is a little more in the near future than the birth of our child ;-) )

Notables: I got to schedule the much-anticipated glucose test for early next month. Hurray! I'm hoping that I won't nearly pass out like last time, and that I will also past with flying colors again. But, I suppose it's something that has to be done... might as well get it over with. Bring on the juice!

Baby #2 Update - 21 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 06:14:00 +0000

I felt fat this week. There. I said it.

My last pregnancy, I didn't really go through that. I always felt really good about the way I looked (outside the awkward not showing, but gaining weight stage). It was one of my favorite things about pregnancy — it was the only time in my life where I didn't feel self-conscious about the way I looked. Not this time around, I guess. Right now, I just feel like I don't look cute or good. Blah. I promise this is not some reverse psychology thing to get everyone to comment on how good I look. It's just a theme this week that I thought I would share.

Took this last week while Jon and I were out walking with C.

We had an appointment last week, where the doctor went over the details of our anatomy scan and said everything looked right on time. He's still measuring about 4 days ahead, but she hasn't changed my due date. He's also apparently laying breach (C was flipped by this time), but obviously since I'm only half way, it's nothing to be concerned about quite yet. I also got the paperwork for the dreaded glucose test, which I have to do before my appointment next month. Hurray. Not. Baby's heartbeat sounded good and doc said everything else looked perfect as well.

Nothing new to report for the most part. I guess that's a good thing.

And, sorry for the lame post and lack of posts. I have them in my head, it's just that I've had a bunch of design work to do for my Etsy shop and by the the end of the day I'm sick of looking at my computer! ha!

Didn't take a pic with C this week (I think we were in Michigan).

How far along: 21 weeks (well, last Friday)

How big is baby: 12 oz. and 10 1/2" long. I think this is the week they compare the kiddo's size to that of a typical-sized banana.

Maternity Clothes: My fitting wardrobe is getting smaller and smaller. I'm breaking out the maternity jeans every time I go out and trying to dress my "bump" when I go out to give myself something of a waistline. That usually includes a cardigan. I'm still able to get by without maternity shirts most days.
The fat thing might have something to do with the fact that I tried on 3 pairs of yoga pants before taking the picture included above.

Sleep: My sleep has been great the last week. Well, minus the two nights where hubby was snoring. He does that when he's really tired and we each took a turn on the couch (he offered to let me sleep in the bed both nights, but I fit better and I'm not big enough for it to be uncomfortable yet). I think the crazy fatigue setting in later in the day has been helping.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been SO hungry!! And, I would eat pizza every day. One night, last week, Jon surprised me and ordered pizza at like 10:30 after I had seen a pizza commercial and went crazy about how good it looked. Healthy pregnant person. Right here.
Oh, and cereal. I've been eating a lot of cereal.

Gender: I sure hope it's still a boy ;-)

Movement: It increases every day. Though, last week he had a couple quiet days and forced me to drink some ice cold water to wake him up in the evening to give me piece of mind. Jon still hasn't feel it from the outside, but this baby is sitting a lot lower than C, so most of the jabs he gives me are in my way lower abdomen, which I think makes it even harder to feel on the outside.

Looking Forward To: Despite my earlier comments about feeling fat, I'm excited to look "definitely pregnant." I'm getting there.

Notables: I took down the baby clothes this week to see what I had and know if there's anything I need to get. I couldn't believe my little 30-lb. C used to fit in those newborn sleepers!! And, it made me so excited to have another kiddo fit in them.

Baby #2 Update - 20 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 19:10:00 +0000

He's still at the "Terminator-esque" baby stage ... but he's in there :-)

Holy cow! Halfway there! I said that to Jon last night and I could hardly believe the words coming out of my mouth. Now comes the joy of getting larger and larger every week!

This week, we had our official anatomy scan to make sure not only that our little guy was in fact a little guy (which he very much is!), but to also make sure all of his little organs were in their place and working well. Happily, everything seems to be in proper working order and in their proper bodily location, which we are so thankful for. It amazes me every time I go into an ultrasound that, despite how small the kiddo actually is in there, how developed he is. He is indeed a little human, with his fingers, toes, kidneys, tummy and bladder. God is so amazing — he's truly knitting our little guy together in there :-)

During the scan, the kiddo pretty consistently had his hands up by his face and was constantly moving around, which was the complete opposite experience we had at Caleb's scan. Unfortunately, this meant that the technician didn't get as many good regular ultrasound pictures (as opposed to the 4-D ones), which I prefer. However, since we also went about 3 weeks later than we did with C, we got a better view in general. It was fabulous see our little boy in there, hanging out and doing his thing. We can't wait to meet him!

Money shot... definitely the money shot.

We got C a babysitter for the scan so Jon didn't have to spend the entire time chasing him around and I didn't stress about what he was getting into — and then turned it into a date night. It was great to have a little time away just to enjoy each other's company. We ate dinner overlooking the ocean (and the beaching seals) and then strolled to a little coffee joint where we devoured coffee and homebaked amazingness for dessert. While at dinner we ran into a couple honeymooning from Minnesota and had fun giving them tips on where to go in the city for some touristy fun. And, over our coffee and cake, we even started talking about baby names.

Our view from dinner, fish taco apps and dessert!

I'm happy to report we have a front runner (which I suggested months ago) that Jon has finally come around to. But, we'll see how long it lasts. We aren't a couple who usually nail down the name early on without it changing once or twice. C's name wasn't solidified until a couple weeks before he was born.

How far along: 20 weeks (and 1 day) — though the ultrasound tech said he was measuring 4 days early!

How big is baby: Weighing it at around 10 oz. and measuring in length around 6.5". According to my weekly Pregnant Chicken e-mail (which you should totally check out if you're pregnant), that means he's about the length of a dollar and the weight of 50 quarters.

Just for fun, here's one of our 20-week photos with the
cutest photo bomber ever :-)

Maternity clothes: I'm finding myself stuck in the weird middle place. Most of the cute maternity shirts I have still look baggy, but some of my other shirts are starting to get to tight! Oh, the problems of a pregnant lady.

Sleep: I've been sleeping awesome! I haven't had hip pain all week. Hurray!! That is unless I forget to take Tums before bed.

Food cravings/aversions: I wanted cheese and crackers really, really bad last weekend, but the craving hit while Jon was at work and C was in bed. No cheese and crackers for me.

Gender: Still a boy! (as far as I'm aware...)

Movement: He's still kicking around in there, but tends to wake up especially in the later evening just before bed. He's kicking/punching/whatever REALLY low right now, but luckily not doing to much damage to my bladder.

Looking forward to: When he starts getting big enough for me to feel him a lot during the day and continuing to talk names with Jon. But, I'm glad we at least have a favorable list going :-)

Notables: This week, on Thursday, we decided to use our zoo passes and hit up the San Diego Safari Park with C. In order for him to see better, I opted to wear him on my back in my Ergo for part of our trek. Granted, I'm not huge yet, but I was excited to find that wearing him is still rather easy and extremely comfortable. Not to mention, I felt pretty awesome that I was still carrying my 30-lb. toddler, while also rocking a baby bump. We'll see how well it works later in pregnancy. But, (as a friend pointed out on FB) for this trip out anyway, I was carrying a baby in the back and in the front ;-)

Our Easter Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:00:00 +0000

This Easter was spent going through vacation withdrawal and the high that comes when one has spent the last week and a half with family. It meant that not a lot of time was spent preparing ourselves for the real "reason for the season" — or on outfits, Easter basket fair or the like.

But, that being said, as a mom, this year got me thinking about how Mary felt those few days. First she had to go through the torment of watching her son — who she birthed in a barn, who she nurtured as a child — taunted, beaten and made to suffer insanely (for hours and hours) on a cross. She couldn't go to him or take away his pain. I can't imagine the agony she must have felt.

It seems silly to compare, but as I was processing this, I thought about when the nurse came in to take Caleb's blood the day after he was born by pricking his little feet. Of course, I was hopped up on post-birthing hormones and running on no sleep, but it was the first time I heard my son scream and scream in pain. I just bawled. I cried and cried with him. I knew it was something that they were doing for his health and benefit, but that didn't stop me from just crying out for my little boy. It's a minute comparison, I know. But, for the small bit of agony I felt just watching that for 15 seconds, I can't even imagine what Mary's heart went through that day.

And then, after preparing Jesus' lifeless, broken body for burial, seeing him alive again, in his true form. Can you comprehend how you would feel if you saw the son you raised — always knowing he was the son of God — show himself as a defeater of death, the Savior of humanity?

That's how I placed myself in the Easter story this year, during this season of my life. Praise God for a Savior who suffered for us and came to take away death, so that we can live eternally through him!!

And, while that is why our family celebrates Easter, I also grew up taking part in the pastel-y side of the holiday, such as foil-wrapped eggs, chocolate rabbits, candy hunts and all that goodness. So, this year, we took C out for his first egg hunt.

It was a lovely day and the eggs were plenty. Alas, despite these factors, C wanted nothing to do with any of it. And, he didn't seem to care that if he didn't get any eggs it meant Mom didn't get any candy. While I was waiting — with camera in hand — to help him gather eggs aplenty, he wanted to run around in the bushes and follow along the sidewalk. Maybe he's afraid of crowds.

Despite his father's best efforts to wrangle and interest him in the goings on, he just would have none of it, so I had to resort to putting eggs into his basket for him, for my sake.

And man, kids are vultures. There were so many eggs. So many. Yet, even after the hunt was well over, if you didn't guard your child's stash, they would literally come up to you and swipe things out of your basket! Have kids always been so bold? It was a parent-judging moment for me, I'll admit. (Like, "Uh, your kid is over raiding my kid's basket. My kid is 1 and yours is 7. Um...) Mustn't judge, mustn't judge, mustn't judge.

But, in the end, obviously what mattered was that C enjoyed himself outside. And I got some candy.

I hope you all had a fabulous Easter!

C Update - 16 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:00:00 +0000

Updates much? Man, first a pregnancy update and now this! Sorry it's not that interesting to many, but I'm determined to keep up. I think I may do C updates until 18 months and then switch to bi-annual. But, we'll see. That would require me to write normal posts in order to post multiple cute pictures of him, and that might be a stretch ;-)

C, you are 16 months old and have become a full-blown toddler. Did I say that last month, too? Well, this month it's for real. You're running, talking, tantrum-throwing and all that jazz. But even on the days where I feel like all I say is "No" and you yell at me for refusing you the joy of playing in the toilet, you're still so cute I can't even stand it.

Some milestones and fun things this month?

• You have perfected spoon eating, which has been awesome. I sit you in your chair with yogurt while I prep the rest of your meal and you have a blast.

• You've started climbing, or trying to climb, on most things. Basically all our chairs/couches are too high, but you can now climb in and out of the laundry basket, and that makes you very proud.

• You mimic your dad by spitting in open toilets. I have no idea what to do about this one...

• You've begun to recognize people by name that aren't me or your dad — your Papa (my dad) being your most favorite. But, while at Nana and Papa's you learned who Uncle Kyle was and called him such when he appeared ... and could even point him out in pictures. You still have a hard time with Nana, but you're getting there.

• You've discovered how to help with the laundry (by handing me the clothes) and will also help me unload the dishwasher by handing me the small dishes one at a time. This kinda sorta resulted in our first dish casualty in awhile... but you are so proud of yourself when you're helping, that I can't bring myself to stop you. Oh, and sweeping is a big deal. You do that any chance you get.

• You started holding phones up to your ear. I think seeing Nana and Papa's landline phone and how that works helped, since we only use cell phones at our house.

• You went to your first Easter egg hunt and couldn't have cared less about the eggs or putting them in your basket.

• You have really begun to enjoy coloring with crayons. I sit you up in your high chair and you scribble away. It's not something that you usually do for a really long time, but you enjoy it for the time it keeps you entertained.

• You had your first experience with snow while we were in Minnesota. You weren't sure what to think at first, but after a bit you decided it was OK and you had a lot of fun. Daddy and Papa threw you snowballs to step on, and you even threw a few yourself.

As far as speaking goes, every day, you're picking new stuff up. This month you learned how to say "puppy" in it's entirety, which just kills me with cuteness. You've also picked up several other words, for example:
• "canca" for Uncle
• "nana" for nana
• "bubba" for bubbles
• "dow" for down
• "ga" for gone
• "birday" for birdy
• "munah" for balloon
• "banky" for blanky
• "tot" for toast
• Your first phrase "puta" for put on

I'm biased, but I seriously think you are crazy verbal for how old you are... but that's how your Mama was as a baby, too.

Just recently, you've really started chattering like you're having an actual conversation with us. I mean, you've been chattering for a while, but now when you do it, it's like you have a purpose or you're really wanting to communicate with us. I'm sure it will only be a matter of time.

Your favorite activities include reading, going up and down stairs, running up and down hills when we're on walks, pushing things into things (including your parents), chasing Daddy and playing with water. Needless to say, you don't sit still long ever. But, that's to be expected I suppose.

Sizes and sleep remain the same as last month, and we have your 16-month well-child visit this week, so we'll see how you've grown. (Edit: As of 4/3/13 you weigh 30 lbs. and are 33" tall!)

I just want to document all of your amazingness. Every day you stun me with how loveably cute you are. It sounds so ridiculous, but you are. You laugh and play. You implore us to play with you every chance you get. You are such a joy, my loving little boy. Such a joy.

Baby #2 Update - 19 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:09:00 +0000

I'm here. I'm here.

We just returned home on Thursday from a 10-day trip back to the home of my heart, the great state of Minnesota. And, a visit home with a toddler and lots of friends to see leaves little room or energy for blog posting. I know y'all understand.

That being said, since I was 19 weeks Friday (um... when did THAT happen?), I figured I'd better update you all on the goings on with Little Lemmon #2.

First and foremost, while we were in Minnesota, we thought it would be a fun idea to include my family in finding out if the new one is a boy or a girl. So, after a little debate, we scheduled an elective ultrasound the day after we got there.

If you want to compare to C's profile, click HERE.

It was fun to have the whole family in the room during that moment when the technician touched my abdomen with the wand and a little body popped up on the screen. Even better was when the tech tried to get everyone to guess whether we were looking at a girl or a boy. Guesses were tied at 2 for girl and 2 for boy (not counting my vote).

And, as Jon would say, the people who guessed girl weren't wrong, if they guessed a girl with a penis.

Yup... we're having another BOY!! This time, my mother's intuition was dead on. In fact, there wasn't really a second that I even thought it was a girl. And, for those who take the Chinese calendar into consideration, it was correct for the second time in a row as well.

Money shot.

If I could explain to you how excited I am to get to refer to my family as "My boys and me," I would. But, it's hard to put it into words. As any mom would say, I would have been equally ecstatic had we found out a little girl was growing in there, but deep down, my desire for another boy to grow up with my C (since they'll be so close in age) was strong. I'm praying they'll grow up to be best friends, be the best men at each other's weddings and get into lots of mischief together.

So, now let the name discussions begin...

Compare with with my 19-week pic with C HERE

How far along: 19 weeks, 2 days

How big is baby: 6 inches and about 8 ounces.

Weight Gained: I have no idea. This will probably be a monthly update as opposed to a weekly one, in accordance with my OB appointments.

Maternity Clothes: Pants are a big yes. I can wear regular pants if I'm wearing a baggy enough shirt, but they're definitely too tight around the belly otherwise. Mom brought me shopping while we were home in MN, so I have a couple new things to wear, which is nice. However, none of the shirts I brought for our vacation were maternity yet.

Sleep: Ah, the joys of hip pain. I had it with C, too. Some nights are better than others, but on the bad nights I wake up every couple hours with a need to flip sides because my hips are just killing. I'm also still having the AM insomnia — but I'm not sure if that's still adjusting from Minnesota time or just me being pregnant.

Food Cravings/Aversions: Hmmm... still sweets. Not too many aversions right now, though Chinese food still sounds icky.

Gender: BOY!!!

Movement: Within the last couple days, I have started having a couple times a day where I get good strong kicks or punches for several minutes at a time. This morning, the kiddo woke me up and kicked for 15 minutes. It's so great and it's my favorite part of pregnancy for sure.

Looking Forward To: Our actual anatomy scan on Tuesday. I love this appointment because you get to spend 45 minutes looking at every little detail of that growing little being... heart, toes, fingers, all of it. I can't wait. Praying that all is healthy and looking good.

Notables: Caleb is beginning to recognize what babies are in pictures and things and didn't seem too jealous when I was at my friend Lynn's house holding her newborn last week. Hopefully as delivery time gets closer we can continue to work on the whole sibling thing ;-)

Baby #2 Update - 17 Weeks

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 23:15:00 +0000

Well, it's that time again. In keeping with my pregnancy-tracking blogs that I did with C, I thought I would start with Baby #2 the same week to keep things comparable. And, while it might seem bizarre to some people to track their pregnancies week to week, I have really loved being able to go back and look at my pregnancy with C and am so glad I did it last time.

And, since I will be spending this pregnancy here in CA as well, it's fun to get to show my peeps in the Midwest what's "growing" on ;-)

So, I'm sorry if this is all boring. I do it so I can look back and compare pregnancies... and it's fun. So whatevs :-)

This is at 15 weeks. I was wearing maternity capris,
so I think that accentuated things a bit.

This pregnancy so far has been really similar to my first. Morning sickness (nausea, not vomiting — thank goodness) started at almost exactly 6 weeks and always took place in the evening. Along the same lines, it also began to dwindle around 13/14 weeks. I encounter it still a little more frequently than before, but it's not every day. I also have a tendency to fall asleep on the couch at night — which, as before, leaves Jon finishing many shows alone.

Major differences I've noticed are that I've been breaking out a lot more (blah...) and I had more back pain at the beginning. I attribute the latter to having relaxing muscles and having to lift a 28-pound toddler (which I didn't have to do before). I've also had a little more cramping this second trimester than I did before, and I'm not completely sure if it's round ligament pain or just things shifting. Thankfully it's never been anything serious and only comes and goes on occasion.

16 weeks, with obvious roots in my hair! Arg!

Early on, my blood work indicated that I had an "antibody e" in my blood that could potentially be a threat to the kiddo if Jon also tested positive for it. After much prayer, we were happy to find out that Jon's blood work came back negative, which means, for this pregnancy it's not something we have to worry about. For each subsequent pregnancy, he'll have to be tested again to see if he's acquired the antibody over time through various forms of exposure, but we're hoping that it will again not be an issue.

So, that's how things have gone so far. Overall, it's been a great, uneventful pregnancy and I am so thankful. But, to keep things consistent, here's also some of the basics that I covered weekly with C! Oh, and if you want to compare, here's the link to C's 17-week update. It's kind of fun to look at.

Thank goodness ... no more awful roots! Yay blonde! I don't think I actually look
that different compared to my 17-week pic with C.

How far along: 17 weeks

How big is baby: 5 inches and 5 ounces... according to my e-mail this week from Pregnant Chicken, about the size of an iPhone

Weight gain/loss: I started this pregnancy at 174 on the OB's scale. At my appointment on Monday, I was 175.5. So, 1.5-pound gain so far.

Stretch marks: My battle scars from C's pregnancy remain, but nothing new has popped up yet. With C, I already had several at this point, despite the fact that I wasn't showing really.

Maternity Clothes: No shirts yet, and I'm still able to use my post-pregnancy pants that are just up a size from what I have been wearing. My regular pants still button, but uncomfortably. Luckily, I'm able to get by with wearing yoga pants most days... the perks of being a stay-at-home mom. I feel like I started getting "bigger" earlier this time around, but I'm still in the I-just-look-fatter stage to most people, I think.

Sleep: Pretty good. Sometimes I'll have trouble falling back to sleep if I wake up after 5 or so, but I usually will after an hour or so.

Food Cravings/Aversions: I want sweets — my fave being Butterfinger Blizzards. I also haven't been able to handle chicken or Chinese food.

Gender: We find out next week!

Movement: I started feeling movement when I was 14.5 weeks! At that point I was feeling mostly flutters on my left side. Now I've started to feel kicks and flutters a couple times a day and am LOVING it. It's my absolute favorite part of pregnancy.

What are you looking forward to this week: We find out if it's a boy or girl on Wednesday!!!

Notables: Feeling more consistent movement.

Celebrations and C's 15-month update

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 00:29:00 +0000

Well, it's been a long two days of celebrating, but I survived. Just barely.

My lover and me full of lobster.

Thursday night, Jon and I went to a casino that offers a free lobster buffet to new Player's Club members and planned on taking advantage of that and some gambling. We ended up waiting a little over an hour to get into the buffet (which was a bummer), but the food was fabulous and at the end of the evening we won about $30 to put towards our babysitter's payment. It was a great time out with my love.

The party at my house!

On Friday, I met my friend, Sarah, for breakfast at my fave coffeeshop and then returned home to find the place decked out in crepe paper, balloons and a happy birthday banner. Jon even decorated our master bathroom! On top of which, he found time to make a chocolate cake from scratch and get me my K-cup filter that I wanted. What a man I have!

Playing with Daddy in the sand.

Eating his weight in beach sand.

And, God blessed me with a beautiful birthday... it was 80 degrees and sunny! So, we went out to the beach in the afternoon before returning home to order pizza from my favorite place for dinner.

This was all on top of receiving huge quantities of birthday cards and gift cards in the mail from friends all over. I still have yet to determine who put everyone up to it or if I'm just so awesome that people wanted to send me birthday greetings... but if the aforementioned (suspected) culprit is reading this, thank you. And, THANK YOU if you sent me something in the mail. There's nothing as awesome as skipping out to the mailbox in anticipation of birthday greetings full of sparklers and cheesy rhymes!

Birthday love!

And, not to be overshadowed by their mother, both my children hit "15" milestones yesterday. C celebrated his 15-month milestone and Baby #2 celebrated 15 weeks. Lots of 15s rolling around. On top of sharing my birthday celebration with you, I figured I'd write a brief (ha!) update on C.

You added several things to your repertoire this month, Mr. C. Lots of new skills that bring you closer to "little boy" status and far from "baby" status. (I still like to consider you a baby sometimes because it makes me feel better. I figure if you still cuddle with me in my arms, that's OK).

• You went down the slide ALL BY YOURSELF. This includes climbing up, sitting down and pushing off! And, if the slide isn't too steep, you don't even need me to catch you! Daddy gets credit for this one... he taught you all you know about sliding.

• You feed yourself with a spoon (kind of). You're better than you were, but still resort to playing with your food when you get bored. How fun it is to fling yogurt everywhere!

• You've also figured out how to open and close the screen door to the patio... which means I can't leave the patio door open without monitoring you very closely. You just like it out there so much!

• Uh, you love my phone. You haven't figured out unlocking and all that jazz, but once I get you into your games, you know exactly what to do. We limit how much time you play on it to about once a day when you're crabby or waiting for food, but it amazes me how fast you learn!

• You love to drink out of cups ("cuppa") like a big boy. You're not a pro at it, but you're getting there. You really need to work on controlling your backwash though.

• You can point out lots of body parts... hair, nose, ears, belly button, toes, eyes.

• You learned how to use the wooden pull toy you got from your Great Aunt Sharon and Uncle Tim, which was quite the work in progress. Since it's a toy that comes apart in various pieces, there were many times where you'd try to lift it to pull it and it would fall to pieces. But, you learned and now love pulling it around the house.

• Pattycake and Wheels on the Bus! You LOVE singing these songs with anyone, especially with Nana on Skype, and can do all the signs. You pat your knees and clap your hands, and you can do the wheels, wipers and doors opening and shutting.

Some other random things about you that changed this month:

• You started eating peanut butter. I feel like I was just nervous about giving it to you because I was afraid you'd have some adverse reaction... but nope. And you love it!

• Somehow you have 4 molars poking through. Your top left is almost all the way through and the others are following. This didn't just happen this last month... but I think I failed to mention it before... and now you have four.

All these teeth have caused you to randomly start crying during meal times on occasion because — we assume — you've bit your tongue or cheek or something.

• You like belly buttons. You'll lift up our shirts and say button or shriek (imitating our sound of surprise.)

• You stick your finger up your nose a lot. Especially when we ask you to point out your nose.

Word-wise, you add new things every day it seems like, but it's mostly that you just chatter a lot more and sooner or later we discover that you're saying actual words. This month, the big debuts have been "wata" (water), "pak" (park), "asigh" (outside), "uck" (truck), "us" (bus), and making a monkey sound.

I thought you were transitioning from two to one nap last week, but it was a fluke. You've happily taken two naps the last several days with no problem. Mommy's happy about that. Otherwise, you're still sleeping your (usual) lovely uninterrupted 12 hours give or take at night and waking up joyful and ready to tackle the day.

Diapers and clothes sizes remain the same (except that we moved you up to a size 6 diaper at night). Shoes, you're now a 5, but fit in some size 6. Yesterday I got you a pair of sandals in a size 6 and you had no problem wearing them successfully on our trip to the beach. They are big on you, but it doesn't seem to cause a problem. We still laugh at how you're all belly (especially after dinner). It looks like you're going to tip over sometimes!

Well, all this to say that you continue to grow and astound us every day. We love, love, love you my sweet, and are so glad to have you in our lives!

Unbirthdays and Real Birthdays

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:32:00 +0000

This post is egocentric. (Though, really, what blog post isn't kind of rooted in the blogger). This post is about my birthday. Which is today. And tomorrow. Or somewhere in between. I shall be 7 1/4 years old.

In perusing my past blog posts, I was surprised to realize that I had never posted a commentary on my birthday. My Leap Year birthday. The one which only comes for real every four years and therefore results in much confusion as to when to celebrate. Well, confusion for mostly everyone else. I'm pretty much game to celebrate it the entire month of February.

As a young kid, I got this feeling every time I told someone when my birthday was that they felt sorry for me. "Oh, sad. You only get a real birthday every four years." Though, I never was really effected by it much. I still brought cupcakes to school (usually on the 28th) and still had birthday parties. I still got gifts and cards. So, I merely looked at it as something that made me unique (right next to being able to touch my nose with my tongue).

Growing older, I began to see the benefit of not having a specific day in which to call my own most years. It meant that people didn't know whether to say "Happy Birthday" or to bring me treats on February 28 or March 1... so I got all those things on both days, since people wanted to play it safe. And then, on the years that I actually had birthdays, I partied it up big time. Last year I got a dozen Sprinkles cupcakes for free. Now that's a party.

If you ask me my honest thoughts on when my birthday should actually be celebrated on off years, I would tell you it makes sense logically to celebrate March 1. I mean, I wasn't technically on the earth (well, out of the womb) until March 1. But, I'm OK with people arguing for February 28, since it's the same month. It results in much celebrating of my birth... and one can't argue with extending that sort of "make me feel special and loved" celebration.

I've had lots of great birthday celebrations over the years. And, if I lived closer to home, I would most definitely include pictures of the younger years, or any of the years. Most of my albums are somewhere up in my parents garage, and unfortunately FB didn't exist back then. Sorry if some of these years are off, Mom.
• For my second birthday, my parents took me to Chuck-E-Cheese. Which was awesome, even though I remember being scared of the animatronics singing Beach Boys hits up on stage.

• In first grade, I had a Teddy Bear party. All my little friends brought their teddy bears over and we made English Muffin mini pizzas. Sa-weet. I love those little pizzas.

Awesome Chuck-E-Cheese animatronics

• In third grade, all my little friends and I went ice skating and returned home for some awesome present opening and cake. Yup. Awesome. I think this was also the year where I got Barbie roller skates and my dad took me to see the Harlem Globetrotters, to which I recall wearing the awesome new fanny pack I had received. That was a good year. I think I got a 64-set of Crayolas (with sharpener) and the handheld Little Mermaid video game, too.

• There was one year, I think it was fourth grade, where I remember my mom taking me to Party City and letting me pick out a bunch of favors for party bags. Like sparkly pencils and stickers and stuff. I was like a kid in a candy store. I'm sure the party was great, too. And, that was the year my parents surprised me by taking me to get my ears pierced. I was so excited and bought lots of awesome earrings with my birthday money — like dangly grapes and black and white puppies.
• My upper elementary years and junior high years are kind of a blur. In upper elementary, I was dealing with some girl drama and in junior high I mostly had awesome sleepovers that involved movies, sprawling on the floor, gossiping and playing truth or dare.

A sleepover for my 14th birthday. Look at my little Snickers on Leah :-)

And before I go into any birthdays in high school, let me just say that my parents were saints about it. I held two huge birthday parties at home over those years and they were not clean parties. My dad cleared out his shop with all his tools and stuff and let me decorate and take over and bring all my rowdy girl and guy friends in there. And then, they'd usually clean it all up. What I did to deserve it, I don't know. Thanks Mom & Dad!

The shredded paper fight of 2000.

• For my sweet 16/4th birthday, I had my first boy-girl party. My best friend, Lynn, wrapped my present in a huge box filled with shredded paper, which then ultimately ended up being thrown EVERYWHERE. I'm guessing my dad is still finding that stuff in his tool boxes and scrap piles. That was also the year that I had my first "real" boyfriend and we got caught making out on the side of my dad's shop at the end of the party by his mom, who was waiting in her van to take him home. Luckily, she was an awesome mom who never made a stink about it. The only reason we knew we got caught was because we saw her on our way back into the party. Shout out to Roxanne!

• For my 17th birthday, my friend and tennis doubles partner, Cassie, and I held an awesome joint birthday pajama boy-girl party in my dad's shop. Her birthday is on March 4, so we figured, why not? The two of us wore matching plaid flannel PJ pants and got a huge cake with our picture on it. That was a great year. We played Twister and Foozball and jammed until the wee hours.

• My senior year, Cass and I threw a smaller, but equally awesome bash at her place and wore matching black pleather pants and studded shirts we found at Old Navy. I also remember that year because I spent my actual birthday driving to my viola audition at Augustana. I was not completely pleased about spending my birthday away from my boyfriend, as I recall. Eh, what can you do.

Are you sick of listening to me reminisce about my awesome birthdays? Probably.

Celebrating my 6th/24th Birthday

But, I've had a couple really awesome birthdays since then. My college girls surprised me with breakfast one year, the same year the Oscars fell on my birthday and I planned a lavish event to which people wore their prom dresses. I've also enjoyed lots of dinners out with friends and bowling.

However, one of the best years, my friends from work planned a surprise "unbirthday" party (like from Alice in Wonderland) for me and went all out. It remains one of the best birthdays ever.

Sipping birthday punch...

They even had card people... with my head!

So, in conclusion, I love my birthday. I wouldn't trade it for a day that actually comes every year and am glad that I am in such an elite club of "forever young" people. Even after putting up with the ever-old "haha, you're husband is married to a 7-year-old" or "aren't you a little young to be driving?" comments, it's so worth it. You can be jealous when you're 80 and I'm sitting pretty at 20.

Thanks for listening to me talk about celebrating myself. Happy birthday to me!

Talking About Homemaking — or the Lack Thereof

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:40:00 +0000

Hello. I don't like housework.

Do any of y'all ever feel like a crappy wife? Like, the type of wife who doesn't clean enough, cook enough, (ehem) love enough, child care enough, support enough? The type of wife who's lazy? Basically a failure at homemaking/husband pleasing?

Man, while I know it's (mostly) the devil throwing lies at my weak self-confidence zone, this feeling has been hitting me like a ton of bricks for the last two weeks around basically every. single. corner.

Here's the problem. It's not all lies.

As much as I would like to place full blame on devil in this circumstance, I also know that part of it is just real-life conviction. While "lazy" might be too harsh a word to describe it, I know that I'm not the most motivated wife/homemaker on the block. In most areas. OK. In all areas.

When it comes to heavy-duty housework (read: scrubbing and more than just a once-over), I really only do it when I'm under pressure — like, "oh, someone's coming over" sort of pressure. When it comes to meal planning and making sure the meals I put on the table are more often fresh and healthy than frozen pizza, I literally have to force myself to sit down and do it — and even then, it's a chore. And, while I love being a mom and taking care of my C-man, there are some days we stay home because the thought of getting everything together to drive to the park just sounds like a lot.

And I ask myself, why is it, that after growing up with a mom who had us cleaning the house every Saturday and home-cooked meals on the table almost every night of the week, I can't find the motivation in my body to make sure my family has the same?

Don't get me wrong, we aren't living in filth, we aren't starving and our quality of life is still rather high — despite my seeming inability to homemake effectively. The house gets picked up every night after C goes to bed and the toilets aren't covered in grime. Our laundry (while it may remain in the basket — unfolded — for days at a time) gets washed and everyone in the house eats three meals a day.

My problem is that I simply enjoy having nap time all to myself. That's really the big chunk of time I have to clean and meal-plan without interruption, and I'd rather sip coffee and watch my DVR. And, when Jon's home and helping with C-duty, we're usually all hanging together or tag-teaming so that one or the other of us can enjoy some free time. And, uh, who wants to clean during free time?

It could also be that I feel like, despite how much I clean, our apartment is always cluttered and messy simply because of it's size and the fact that we have a toddler. So, what's the point, right?

Jon is very good to remind me that I don't suck as a wife. Last night, I had a breakdown about it — which I blame on pregnancy hormones — and he hugged me and, in so many words, told me that I was wrong to think that. Probably because I told him that I wouldn't blame him if he left me for another woman. (I can be highly dramatic like that when hopped up on pregnancy.)

My friends, my attitude needs to change. I think I need to understand that while being a stay-at-home mom/homemaker is a blessing, it's also partially my job. And, let's face it... sometimes jobs involve things you don't want to do or like to do. That includes taking 25 minutes out of nap time to clean the bathroom. Or, to chop of veggies for that night's dinner. Or to dust.

And while that doesn't necessarily sound fun to me, I think it's kind of like working out in that while I may not like doing it, it will make me feel so much better about myself at the end of the day. It will erase those feelings of guilt about not doing my "job" adequately and give me the tools to fend off any thoughts that are trying to convince me I suck as a wife.

OK. Don't take this as me telling myself that as a hard-working mother of a toddler I don't deserve any grace or free time. No. This just means I'm going to try to balance the interruption-free time a little better between my duties of a homemaker and relaxation.

Thanks for basically listening to me think out loud. If you made it this far.

PS I bought four pairs of TOMS on Zulily yesterday. Two for C and two for gifts. This is irrelevant, but I'm so excited about it that it's quite sad.

Love Day... and other days

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:24:00 +0000

Our Valentine's Day money shot. Cutie-patootie.

Happy post-Valentine's Day, my friends. I hope you're all recovering from sugar-induced sweetness comas and mushy, ooey-gooey love fests with significant others.

Jon and I have never been big into V-day. I think the first year we were dating, he got me roses and I did a mixed CD and a shirt or something, but in years past we've resorted to surprise cups of Starbucks and either specially requested dinners or an order in of our favorite local cuisine (last night it was Thai). That's been fine for both of us, and it totally takes the pressure off.

Yesterday morning, Jon went golfing really early, so when I got C up I found a really lovely note on the counter surrounded by hand-cut hearts. It was the perfect gift and it warmed my heart. Later on, C and I made a valentine for him for when he got home. And he seemed to like that, too.

And, after C went to bed, Jon volunteered to go get me the Butterfinger blizzard I was craving. Well, I basically just wanted it and blamed it on a pregnancy craving. It was a good day.

_____

Besides Love Day, life here has been truckin' along. All of a sudden, I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and I have no idea where that time went. Feels like just yesterday I was staring at a double-lined pee stick. We had our second doctor's appointment on Wednesday and because baby was hiding really far back in my abdomen we got an extra ultrasound. SO fun! Who doesn't want an extra ultrasound?! It was so fun to see his/her little heartbeat fluttering and little limbs moving around.

Next time we see the little peanut, we'll be finding out if it's a boy or girl — probably sometime in late March or early April. At first I thought it was a boy, but I've been experiencing some different symptoms than before — more breaking out than before, different aversions — so now I'm not sure. Maybe once I start showing more, I'll be able to throw out a more solid guess.

Caleb loves his daddy.

Caleb is growing like a weed and becoming such a little personality — while being sick at the same time. We just finished up a round of antibiotics for his first double ear infection, as well as some breathing treatments for some wheezing in his lungs (both of which he didn't mind). He seriously LOVED taking his bubble gum-flavored medicine (I remember loving it, too). And, of course, this morning he woke up with snot all over his face, so who knows what that means. It seems like as soon as he's healthy he catches another cold or something. I suppose it's his little immune system adjusting to a world of germs. Doesn't make it any easier on any of us though. Poor guy.

Happily taking his inhaler.

But, I'm finding myself hugging him tighter and wanting to relish in our days alone more and more. I know come September, my time will be divided and I don't like thinking how that will affect him. I know that all siblings go through it, but I can't stand the thought of him feeling abandoned. Surely these are thoughts all moms go through when going from one kiddo to two, but that doesn't really make it easier. He's my first little love and I want to engrain in his memory all this time we got to ourselves and how much I loved on him. He'll always be my first baby.

Slightly obsessed with Mom's boots.

Yesterday we bought tickets for a March trip back to Minnesota — and here's to hoping it's the last trip there that we'll have to buy roundtrip tickets for. We're busy planning our schedule, likely to be filled with March Madness, baby loving, friend get-togethers and morning cups of coffee with Mom and Dad (Cherry Coke for Dad). It's a time I always look forward to, even though our schedule is always packed.

The only hurdle this trip... flying with a (then) 15-month-old. Hopefully he'll be happy playing on our laps (fat chance) and wandering the aisles. We'll have to pack a lot of crackers. We're also trying to decide if C will be OK sleeping in a pack-and-play since he's getting so big. Might be worth trying it out here before we head out.

______

Well, my naptime break is over. C's in his crib making noise and likely throwing his nukies all over, so I best wrap it up. All this to say, life is good and I've got no complaints. Maybe one of these days, I'll post something that's not a play-by-play of our life and more an insightful view into my mind.

And then there were 4...

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 18:56:00 +0000

So, it's Facebook official, which means I can finally make it blog official, too...

To answer the some of the first questions I usually receive:
- Yes, it was planned. If Jon had has his way, I would have been knocked up months ago. He really wanted our kids close in age. But, I wanted to hold off, because I really wanted to enjoy Caleb's first year and just get to focus on him. So, I told him that around C's first birthday we could be... ehem... less careful.

As was the case with C, we jumped the gun a little early and took that into practice around the beginning of November. I thought for sure it would take forever since my cycle was still really abnormal (45 days, anyone?). But, nope. I just need to learn not to think like that. I took a test on December 19 before a doctor's appointment (in the event they wanted to give me a prescription) and was pretty shocked when that second line showed up. And by pretty shocked, I mean I might have said an expletive.

Of course, since my cycles were so wonky, I had no idea how far along I was. But, our first appointment (where I got glimpses of a little fluttering heart while also trying to manage C who wanted to be directly on top of me) put my due date at August 23.

Kiddo #2 - Taken at 8w3d

So, here we are. I'm 12 weeks tomorrow. Our kids will be 21 months apart (eek).

- Yes, we are finding out the sex/gender/whatever politically correct term is used these days and are planning on sharing that. But, like we did with C, we'll be keeping the name a secret until his/her birthday. I loved getting to surprise people like that :-)

- Yes, I'm crazy nervous about having two kids under two. Even if it will only be for three months. Heck, I'm just nervous about having two kids in general... especially if our move home doesn't happen. I am experiencing lots of levels of nervousness, but I think they're all pretty normal — worrying about balancing time between C and the baby, keeping my sanity, having enough love to go around, sleep deprivation.

Could this kid be any cuter? Seriously. Your world's gonna be rocked kid.

I've just accepted the fact that I won't be sleeping for the next couple years.

- I've been feeling alright, especially the last week or so. At six weeks, like with C, it was like clockwork and the nausea/fatigue started to hit me in the evenings. It remained that way for quite awhile, coming and going. But, the last week or so, it's become less and less. Now I just fall asleep on the couch while we're watching TV at night (which is something I only do when I'm pregnant).

Our lives are obviously going to change by leaps and bounds and I'm so excited to document it all here again on my blog. It's so fun for me to be able to look back during C's pregnancy to reflect on it, so I can't wait to do it again!

Happy Thursday!

Caleb - 14 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:40:00 +0000

I failed to write a 13-month update for C. While I kept telling myself I would do it, I failed and now he's 14 months today. Oh, does the time fly. So, here I am. Trying to play catch up and record just a few of the new things that he's learning, discovering and enjoying now that he's a toddler.

You're turning into a kid before my very eyes, C! You're independent (well, as independent as one can be at 14 months), excited to learn and love doing things on your own. As far as stats, I have no idea where you're sitting. Big, I suppose. Judging by the fact that I can't carry you out to the mailbox and back without getting a cramp, I'd say you're definitely growing. Thankfully, you've been wearing 18-24-month sized clothes for a little while now, and those have left plenty of room for growth :-)

Walking the boardwalk and looking at ducks.

As of January 23, you had your last nursing feeding and are officially weaned. You dropped your before-bedtime feeding January 9 kind of by accident. We had a babysitter and went down for bed without waking up to eat later, so we stuck to it and had no problems. So, at that point you were just getting your early morning/5 a.m. feeding.

I was debating what to do about this feeding because I was really afraid that removing it would interrupt how amazing you've been sleeping. Usually I would feed you and you would go down for another two or three hours. It was kind of a mutual effort. We were going to see how it went when I went away for an overnight this weekend. Then on Thursday, you slept through the night and didn't wake up until 8. And that was that. I think we were both ready ... though I do miss cuddling your sleepy little body.

Story time with Mommy

Yeah, you don't let me cuddle you much anymore. It's go, go, go all the time. You're constantly on the move, running from toy to toy, or simply just trying to imitate something we've been doing. You like dancing to any music you hear and currently are a big fan of "sweeping" the patio (despite the fact that the broom is a couple feet taller than you. Your other current favorite activities are:

• Anything outside. We take outside and you'll wander around as long as we let you just exploring

• Exploring the playground and going down the slides/swinging

• Helping put things into/taking things out of the dryer

• Being pushed around on your riding toy or in the laundry basket (a good leg workout for mom and dad)

• Pressing buttons that make noise (especially on your toy computer and your Little People zoo)

• Pushing anything around the floor (like your push chime and your walker that makes noise)

• Being in things (like the giant box we got from Target and your laundry basket). You like sitting and standing in there and throwing toys out.

CHEESE!

Last week the weather was AMAZING and we made sure to get outside every day. I take you walking in the complex and you roam around checking out the grass and saying "Ick" every time there's something on the ground you don't recognize. You also like climbing any stairs you see... and at an apartment complex, there's a lot of stairs. Let's just say you keep me busy when we venture out.

Sleepwise, you're doing great. You've been sleeping 8 to 8 almost every night (with the occasional wake up for a diaper change). You take two naps during the day — one around 10/11 and another around 3/4 — each usually about an hour long. Since getting a video monitor this last month, we've discovered you play around in your crib for an average of 30 minutes when we put you down for bed before actually falling asleep. But, you don't make any noise, so I guess you're just winding down.

You eat three meals a day and a snack after your afternoon nap. You have your favorites, but it's so dependent on the day. One day you like blackberries, the next you don't. So, we just keep the variety coming and usually we can find something that suites you that day. If you want something off our plate, you keep wining until you get it, but we usually tell you to eat a couple more beans/veggies/carrots to get some, and you usually comply. You are a great eater and let us know you're all done by giving us the sign and throwing your food on the floor. We're working on that latter part.

Your vocabulary increases every day... and that's no joke. You try to repeat so much of what we say! You're now saying a couple two-syllable words even —"cack-er" for cracker being the most commonly used. Your other favorites include "pants" for pants, "button" for belly button and "cack-it" for jacket. I feel like you're learning new words all the time... so I know you'll be a chatterbox in a couple months.

Getting into mischief

OK, so this post is getting ridiculously long. That's what I get for not updating last month. There's probably even more I could include, but have failed to remember, but this will have to do. We love you, little man.

(Oh, and if you want to throw a vote our way, that would be cool... Just click on the box and follow the directions!)

An Update

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:55:00 +0000

Welcome to my poor neglected blog. Home to musings of a woman who sometimes finds herself so unmotivated to do anything that, after her energy-filled child goest to bed, she will literally sit and watch hours and hours of "Downton Abbey" instead of picking up the computer to stretch her brain. Maybe it's the fact that I'm chasing a running toddler around all day. Maybe it's all the sickness going around. All I know is that at the end of the day, I have really been enjoying my yoga pants, my blanket, the worn-out couch and the warm glow of our TV.

Nevermind the dust or the dirty kitchen counters or the laundry. Who has time for that?

Other than my laziness, life has been going by as normal these days. Full of "Caleb, don't touch that" and "Caleb, icky" balanced out with "Good job, buddy," "Yay!" and awesome renditions of Old McDonald and Itsy Bitsy Spider. Since the weather has been particularly San Diego beautiful the last several days, we've been making sure to get outside lots. Whether it be going to a park or happily wandering around our complex, we've been loving it and are beginning to understand why people tell us we're crazy to want to move back to the Minnesota tundra.

And it helps that time spent wandering outside definitely makes for better naps and sleep time for C ;-)

In addition to leading a relatively normal life, we've also been sitting on pins and needles the last several weeks waiting for a number of things to fall into place. The big one, of course, has been hearing word on our transfer to Minnesota. The bid closed December 10, and we knew for sure we wouldn't hear anything by January. But, now that the end of January is nearing, we're eagerly waiting to hear news. And, while we've heard that the process has been moving forward, we have yet to receive THE phone call that will likely determine the path of our lives for the next two years. We are simply praying to hear either way soon!

Following the word on a transfer, we need to make a decision about our living situation. Our lease is up at the end of February, meaning we need to tell the complex if we are staying/leaving by the end of January (see why hearing about this transfer is a bit pressing?). If we're staying in San Diego, we plan on staying only an extra month or two and then finding a house to rent. We are SO done with apartment living. But, if we're moving home, we are staying in our apartment until we know when we get to leave (ideally no later than June). But, again, it's really hinging on that one phone call.

Also, being determined by the transfer, is our travel schedule for this year. We've been debating an early February trip to Michigan, instead of our usual May trip, since Jon had some days off and we may be prepping to move in May. We're also weighing a trip home to Minnesota in March. I mean, we obviously wouldn't necessarily travel home in March if we were moving there in April.

I've actually surprised myself quite a bit with how calm I've been regarding the whole situation. Maybe I've learned something about patience over the last couple years after all? Or, maybe I've just really learned that trusting in God with the plan will always prove the more fruitful road? I'm sure it's a combination of both. But, it's made the last month much easier.

2012 — a year in review

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:10:00 +0000

(I wrote this yesterday and failed to post... whoops!)

That's what today is about, right? Reviewing the year? Or was that what I was supposed to be doing yesterday and today I'm supposed to be looking forward? Eh, I don't know. What I do know is that today I'm looking back in reflection of my 2012. Where it brought me, where it brought my little family.

2012 was so great in that C made our lives so rewarding, fun, laughable, unpredictable. He really made the year. But, duh, that was expected, right? I mean, you can't have a crazy cute, smart, adventurous child and not have him make your year. He pushed us to be more flexible, to be more "get out of the house and have an adventure," to be more spontaneous and to laugh easier. He also taught me so much more about what it means to really be selfless (though, I'm still working on achieving that). 2012 really was the year of C. Thanks, kiddo.

Thanks to Caleb's birth, 2012 also included a lot more family time than we have gotten in the past. More visits to Minnesota/Michigan, more visitors frequenting the blow-up mattress in our living room, more Skype calls over dinnertime. And, we've loved it all. Visits and Skype calls don't necessarily make up for weekly coffee visits or in-person hugs on a regular basis, but it sure beats getting those things once or twice a year. We had:

• Jon's parents in January • Jon's brother's family in February
• A visit to Minnesota in March • A visit from Kass in May
• A trip to Michigan in May • A visit to both Minnesota and Nebraska in June
• Another trip to Minnesota in September • A visit from Mom in October
• A visit from Daph in November • A visit from Jon's mom and grandpa in November
• A visit from Al in December
• Another visit from my parents in December to close out the year.

Thank you to all of those out there who made the trek to visit us. And, thank you to those who have pushed their schedules to make time for us when we've been home. It means so much to us all, and we have loved every minute. Oh, and if you still haven't experienced our blow-up mattress, give us a call and we can arrange it for you ;-)

Other notable events of 2012 have included:
• Joining MOPS • Joining BSF
• Growing my blog • Opening an Etsy shop
• Reconnecting with God
• Jon applying for a transfer
• Getting more involved in church activities
• Many trips to the beach
• Traveling to Anaheim to watch the Twins with C
• Trips to the San Diego Fair and Minnesota State Fair

It was an eventful year.

But, if I'm honest about 2012, I would also have to say it's probably been one of my hardest years to date. It seems silly while looking at how full the year has been with visitors and other things, but it was also a year of struggle for me. It was a year that I struggled with the isolation of being a stay-at-home mom and the loneliness that comes from the seeming inability to expand my friend base here in CA. And, from that, struggling to sometimes see myself as a person who is worthy of friends at all... "what don't I have?" "What don't I do?" Or, "what do I do that makes me unlikeable?"

It was the year I struggled with jealousy as friends bought houses and set roots while we remain stuck in an apartment waiting for the FAA to determine our future. And... the weight of having to deal with whatever future they decide is ours, to live here or to move home — without having any control over it. And then begging God to bring me peace with wherever he has us go. While my heart is more at peace about being in CA than it has ever been, it still isn't home. But, I'm working on making myself see it as such, and I sort of feel like this year's progress is evidence that I'm doing it successfully.

So, 2012, you were a good, but hard year. One that I will remember both fondly and with some growing pains. On to 2013!

Photo by Megan Ann Photography

Christmas Eve Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:34:00 +0000

Well, it's Christmas Eve, folks. Kids everywhere are fighting butterflies in their tummies anticipating Santa's visit and the opening of gifts. As I got older, I always anticipated the Christmas services at my grandmother's church and how beautiful it looked as all the lights grew dim as we sang silent night by candlelight.

This will sadly be the second year in a row for us we aren't making it to church. Last year, we mistakenly went to our church at the wrong time, and this year we're not pushing Jon's recovery. Though he's definitely on the mend from grossness (mentioned here), he's not 100% and is still feeling the need to take it easy. I would rather him do that then have a relapse, so here we'll stay. We'll sit C down and read the Christmas story and The Night Before Christmas by light of the Christmas tree. Maybe we'll turn on the Yule Log.

I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that we may or may not be home next Christmas. That would just be too much.

But, while we're here, we'll make the most of it and just enjoy time as the three of us.

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Being a Boy Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 07:25:00 +0000

Discovering... one of C's favorite pastimes.

Well, life over here as been a little shifted as of late.

Jon came home from work Tuesday morning with chills, and by the time he woke up at 11 had a rising temperature, aches and a crazy sore throat. By the evening, he had swollen tonsils with huge white spots on them. I have never seen tonsils that big or splotchy. Gross.

Wednesday morning's doctor's appointment determined it was simply an infection, not strep, only to be warded off by Tylenol, Advil, rest and fluids. Since then he's spent nights going between chills and hot flashes with temperatures as high as 102.2 and as low as 99.4. His days have been spent between bed and sitting in the living room attempting to painfully swallow food. This morning, it took him an hour and half to eat applesauce and an banana. Poor guy.

Just now, he went to bed with the lowest temperature he's had at bedtime in the last several nights. I'm praying that it's a sign of better things in the morning. He looks simply miserable and I feel pretty helpless. And, C's ready to have his Daddy back playing with him.

Tonight, I'm sleeping on the couch in an attempt to get sleep. C's been up a lot lately and between that and Jon's tossing, turning and coughing, the Zzzzs have been hard to come by. And, when I'm spending the week doing all the parenting, it starts to weigh down regardless of the caffeine I consume. And, I'm up blogging.

(And can I just insert and amazing shout out to the military moms and single moms out there who do this solo parenting thing full time? How you do it is beyond me. I'm in utter awe of you. Seriously.)

Need a cheap toy idea? This $1 deck of card always keeps him occupied for at least a 15-minute span.

I just wanted to check in to write about how much I'm enjoying being a mom this week. Despite Jon being sick, the week's been really fun. C's becoming this little person, and I am just loving getting to watch it unfold. He's surprising me every day and it's all happening so fast that I have to document it here so I don't forget this cuteness I'm experiencing!

Yesterday, he learned how to "roar" when I ask him what a lion says. It is beyond cute. He points at the lions in his books and says it ... and I melt. I basically read those books on purpose right now. See what I mean?

Okay, so it's more like the road you'd expect out of Simba's mouth, not Mufasa's... but he is just a cub, right? I'm still in love with it.

Today, I discovered that he clucks his tongue when we ask him what a chicken says (I have no idea where he got that... but it works in his head anyway). Additionally, he started running last week and has been exercising that skill by doing laps in our apartment — back and forth from one end of the living room into the dining room and back again. And he laughs the whole way. Oh, and he loves chasing me, which basically means following me everywhere I go trying to keep up.

One of his crazy "I'M RUNNING!!!" faces.

When I lay on the floor, he laughs and crashes his head onto my chest and then successfully crawls up onto me, only to roll off after a quick snuggle and lay on the floor with me "chatting." Oh, and he learned how to give kisses. The sweet baby kind that involves pushing his little mouth to my cheek and doesn't involve teeth chomping down.

Here he is running after his ball outside. We have to get the kid out to run
off some of that boy energy!

Today, as I was cleaning out the refrigerator after an unfortunate spill, C kept getting in the way. He kept wanting to pull out all of the containers with his food (we're talking those Ziploc type containers) from where I put them in the fridge. But, as I watched him, I realized after pulling them out, he was just putting them back in again. So, instead of shooing him away, I gave him a bunch of empty containers to play with. He spent 15 minutes pulling them out, stacking them high, then fitting them all back in on the empty shelf. It was cute to me how I could just see his little brain working and figuring out what I was doing and how he could do it, too. (And it gave me time to finish the job, while interacting with him at the same time!)

While it's been cold, the primary reason for the hat is that it seems
to pad his little noggin' when he falls, which he does. Maybe we
should invest in a helmet instead?

Later on, he went and found a set of his footie pajamas and came out of his room wearing them on his head. He laughed his head of putting them over his face and wandering around. I mean, obviously, there were some safety issues that had to be dealt with, but oh my gosh... I was laughing hysterically.

I have always been in love with Caleb. Always. But this week, I feel like I'm really falling in love with being a mom. I find myself excited to play with him on the floor to see what he does and discovers. I love that we get to have little chats and cuddles. And, he's becoming such a little character that I just can't get enough.

Sprawled out in his deck of cards.

I love the holding and snuggling of newborns. I love squishy baby rolls. But, man, I am just adoring being a mom to a little boy. It's exhausting. Really exhausting. But so amazing.

Because I Can't Not Say Something

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:18:00 +0000

I was getting ready to go to Target Friday morning when I switched open my computer to print a coupon and saw the news on my Yahoo homepage. Just the thought of another shooting occurring sent my heart into my toes. Another person taking lives senselessly. Another reminder of how black this world is becoming.

Then I saw the location of the shooting. The estimated number of victims. The estimated age of the victims.

My heart burned. Burned with heartache thinking about those babies who were barely more than that. Who wouldn't grow to be more than that. My heart was ripped to pieces for the parents who had to find out that their child was shot to death. The parents who had Christmas packages stashed away in the closet and would never get to see the glow on their child's face when they were opened. And what about those teachers? The ones who hid their students in bathroom stalls, in classroom cabinets and cupboards. Who saved lives before sacrificing their own.

And I tried hard to swallow the severe rage I had towards the man who would even do such a thing. And I tried hard to stomach the belief that this is the world with live in. A world where people go into an elementary school with the plan to kill innocent children. A world where people go into a shopping mall, a movie theater with the plan to kill innocent people. And I thought of how God's heart must be breaking for this world.

It's situations like this where I don't feel like a well-equipped Christian. I feel like I should be able to answer people who ask why God allowed this to happen or where he was on that day. I think in the wake of such atrocities, even some of the strongest Christians find themselves wondering the same thing.

But, even as a Christian who struggles with the correct words or answers, I do know that God is a good God. That only good things come from him, and that the evil things are not of him. That the evilness that causes such atrocities are of this world, not of His. Of this sinful world who seems to have forgotten Him and His promises and His words. But, even still, he can and will provide eventual comfort for the suffering and embrace those whose arms have been left empty. He will cry with them, because he knows what it means to lose a son.

What I do know is that I can lift up all those affected by Friday's devastating events and pray for revelation for our world. I can pray that God will shine some light in these dark places and remind us that we are his children and he loves us dearly.

My voice is small and only one of millions mourning with Newtown, but I'm here, praying for you. I'm doing the only thing I can think to do and lifting you up in prayer in the event you can't lift yourselves. I pray for peace and comfort for you in this time of devastating grief.

Please Don't Call Child Services

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 20:03:00 +0000

The pictures you are seeing are after C's first REAL spaghetti experience. The egg on his head is the other part of his "rough week" mentioned in the blog, which happened while running about outside. Poor kid.

As a mom you inevitably encounter stories from other moms about babies falling off various pieces of furniture, eating this or that, or getting injured in some fluke accident with a random household item. And, inevitably, as a mom (at least a first-time new mom), you say to yourself (ever so humbly) "well, that's never going to happen to my baby. I would just never let that happen."

And, then, you secretly sort of judge the mother who {gasp} let that happen. Don't lie. You do. I do. We all do. Because it makes us feel better about ourselves. It's a mom thing, and while it maybe isn't right, it's most definitely natural.

Of course, you do this when your baby is an infant who doesn't do anything but roll over, with the occasional move to sit up. When all you have to worry about during diaper changes is whether they're going to pee on you, not if they're going to make an attempt to base jump off the changing table.

What a ham.

And then the unspeakable happens to you and you cower in shame. I myself have recently been knocked from my high horse. Let's just say Caleb had a pretty rough week this week. And, while I know I'm going to get judged for writing this post, I'm writing it because I want it on here to remind myself that this stuff happens. And to let other moms know it happens. And to make the moms who keep their baby accidents "in the closet" feel better.

Caleb fell off his changing table on Sunday. Yup. Fell right off. Onto the floor.

This wasn't his first foray with self-induced flight. He also fell off our bed (which is actually pretty low) when he was 8 months old. Thank goodness we have carpet and not hardwood. And, praise the Lord times infinity that babies are made super durable (obviously for the sake of imperfect parents).

Spaghetti sauce hair gel, anyone?

There's nothing that makes you feel more like the front runner for the Worst Mother of a Year award. Both times my heart and stomach did a dive bomb to the ground. I freaked out (which you're not supposed to do), cried and called my mom (after Jon).

I thanked God a trillion times over that Caleb escaped both falls unscathed (minus a bit of a scare and a couple tears). Within minutes of each fall, he was laughing and giggling at something stupid I did. But, of course, that didn't make me feel that much better.

A close up of his first egg :-(

It's the worst feeling knowing that you've indirectly caused your child pain. "If I just would have been a touch more careful," I say to myself, "he wouldn't have fallen." Gah. It just eats at me and the image of him falling keeps running through my head.

My knowledgeable mom said "Emily, I'm just going to warn you... this is not the last time you're going to feel like this. Whether it's your fault or not, any time your child gets hurt you're going to blame yourself. Your going to think about all the ways you could have prevented it, or what you should have done differently. That's just how moms work."

And then I found out I rolled down the stairs and landed on concrete when I was 1. The jury is still out, but I {think} I turned out alright. It made me feel just a little better knowing that my mom, who I consider the best mom out there, had something like that happen. (What other secrets are you keeping from me, Mom?)

Also — though it's been a family debate whether he played a role in this himself — my husband rolled down some stairs in his walker. He seems {mostly} alright. Considering my mother-in-law had to raise my husband (patience abound!!), I definitely consider her a mother to take some lessons from. So, it obviously even happens to the best of the best.

The stinky part about it is that kids are going to get hurt. I mean, C has gotten a couple really nice welts on his head when Jon or I have been standing RIGHT there playing with him. He gets tripped up by his little feet and down he goes. And there's nothing we can do about it except pick them up, dust them off and kiss the boo-boo. And maybe apply ice. It's just the price of childhood. But, that's hard to remember when your kiddo is crying.

I'm not saying it's OK to not strap your kid to the changing table. Or to let them roll around on the bed unsupervised. Being flippant about your kid's safety is obviously not what I'm advocating. I'm just here, reminding you that boo-boos are gonna happen to the best of us and that you can't beat yourself up too bad about it. You just have to remedy your actions, be more careful and move along.

Mommy's sorry C!

Caleb - 12 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 00:54:00 +0000

Birthday kisses from Mom & Dad

So, that last post was more a mommy-nostalgic post. And, while I can't wait to share some of the holiday things going on around here, I need to get this update post off my chest so that I have some physical evidence of what C is doing lately (since I stopped updating his baby calendar 2 months ago... #momfail).

To make it up to you, I'll include some of his birthday photos. The plan was to include some of the professional photos we had done to mark the occasion, but we don't have those yet, and as much as C is changing these days, I can't afford to wait ;-)

This month has been a pretty busy one. We've had lots of visitors (Daph at the beginning of the month, your Grandma Lemmon and Great Grandpa Hal just last week, and Mom's friends Allison and Dan this last weekend) and you just love being around people. You warm up to them almost instantaneously and smile and let them hold you as much as they are willing. You're even OK when I drop you off in the nursery on Sundays, Tuesday at BSF and Wednesdays at MOPS. You cry for about a minute when you know I'm going to leave, but then grab a ball and start to play. And it warms my heart when you run up to me when I come pick you up — and you always get a good report and praises of being such a chill kid. What a joy you are to me (and others, it seems).

Getting to the stats, which I can accurately report since we just had your 12-month appointment... you are 26 lbs, 15 oz. (in the 99%), have a head circumferance of 19" (95%), and are 31.5" long (88%). Your doctor didn't even bat an eye at your size and said you're following your curve just fine. You were born big and have stayed big — and by big, I mean adorable.

Eating birthday pancakes

We are working on weaning you from breastfeeding, and have successfully dropped one feeding. We are dropping a second feeding today. These are your after-nap feedings, which you don't usually eat that much at anyway. Once we do that, you'll be down to nursing 3 times a day (once early morning, once right after getting up and once before bed). You usually have an afternoon snack around 4. Your fave foods still include lots of veggies (green beans, sweet potatoes, peas) and fruit (bananas, blueberries, pears), but also have come to include things off our plate, which you point at. Bread being a favorite. You also thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving turkey.

Sleepwise, you're doing alright. When there's company it's usually rough going and I tend to feed you to keep you quiet. After they leave, you go back to sleeping from 8 to 4/5, when you get your early feeding. There are sometimes wake ups between there, but we go in, change you and lay you down and you usually go back to sleep. Wake up time has been anywhere from 7:15 to 8:15 (depending on the night before).

Taking one of his birthday presents for a ride.

Milestones this month:
• Lots of pointing
• Increased amounts of "dancing"
• Speed walking (haha)
• First haircut, given by Mom
• Playing peek-a-boo with your hands over your eyes
• Pushing cars/things with wheels correctly over the floor
• Opening drawers with ease
• Pulling yourself up on your tip toes on things that are too high in an attempt to get a better view
• "Asking" questions by raising your voice and eyebrows at the end of phrases (usually accompanied by pointing)

Your vocabulary continues to increase. "Cack" continues to be your favorite and you can recognize any duck on the pages of your books, or in real life. "Oof" remains a favorite as well, and you still love puppies. I had to chase you down at the park the other day when you were chasing after a puppy that went by. You've now added "bir-day" for birds, a sound you make for "what the piggy makes" which I don't know how to spell out, "per" for diaper, "baa" for bath, "ca" for car and we finally figured out that you've been saying "guboo" (peek-a-boo) for several weeks. You love saying "dubadub" right now, and we have no idea what that means. And, on top of discipherable words, you're talking all the time. We have no idea what your saying, but love that your trying to communicate.

Who doesn't like wrapping paper?!

Favorite toys currently include:
• Books — ALWAYS a favorite
• Your barn that you can put blocks into
• Balls
• Letter magnets that I put on the fridge (we find them EVERYWHERE)
• Your hammer and nail bench, which you can use appropriately :-)
• Things that shake
• Anything forbidden — including but not limited to shoes, paper, remote controls and keys

My favorite moments of this month have included our new favorite activity of going down to the lake and watching the ducks. You love running the ramp back and forth, stopping to point at the ducks and birds. It's also been fun to be able to say "let's change your diaper" only to have you run to your changing table (that's not to say that you don't run away as I get closer).

Oh how Mom & Dad love you!

I had a mom tell me yesterday that after babies hit the year milestone things get easier and more fun. And, your growing independence seems to hint that that's true. You're discovering your world and it's so amazing to watch you do it. I can't wait to see how you continue to thrive and grow in the next months. I can't wait until we can talk to each other and have little conversations.

Thank you for being such an amazing baby this last year, C. I pray that when you have a brother or sister they prove to be as easy and laid back as you. You have been just the best first-born I could ever imagine having and I'm so proud to call you my son.

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