The Wisdom of Coco

Stop SOAP!

2012-01-18T16:41:00.000-08:00

Dear faithful blog readers. This little doggie is joining the International Internet blackout in protest of SOAP.

I hate baths.

The thing I hate most about baths is SOAP.

I give an enthusiastic tail wag to all sites engaged in the black out!

Tell your Congressman to Stop SOAP and Stop SOAP now.

This blog post was paid for by the Coco for Supreme Ruler of the Universe Super PAC.

I, Coco the doggie, approve this message.

New Years Resolution

2012-01-02T13:01:00.000-08:00

My name is Coco. I am a little brown doggy.

My resolution for 2012 is to stimulate the economy by creating shovel ready job.

Human, get your shovel ready. It is time for a work and I feel a shovel ready project coming on.

A Lost Puppy in a Big World

2011-12-20T17:25:00.000-08:00

Fido Finder reports that Labs are the most common reported lost dog.

A lost puppy is a sad thing.

Sometimes puppies get lost, and never come back.

I am a Lab and I got horribly lost once. For that matter, I got so lost that I never came back.

Fortunately, I found a new houseful of humans to give me food. But it sometimes give me pause that I was lost and never came back.

Signed Coco
just another lost puppy in a great big world.

Don't Do It!

2011-11-23T16:18:00.001-08:00

The local humane society is running an ad asking people to take in a homeless dog FOR Thanksgiving.

For the sake of all that is holy. DON'T DO IT!

You might take in a homeless turkey, or a homeless chunk of ham, but please, not a doggie!

You might consider taking in a homeless doggie after Thanksgiving Dinner, but not for Thanksgiving.

My name is Coco and I am thankful that there is a turkey in the oven. I promise to give my portion of the turkey a happy home.

Profound Thought of the Day

2011-11-05T11:20:00.001-07:00

As a small brown puppy. I consider myself to be a child of dog.

Tech Support Call

2011-10-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

I had a glitch with my web site, so I called technical support.

Tech support asked if I had an IP Address.

Truth is, I pee at all sorts of different addresses. On a typical walk I will pee at three to four addresses.

My name is Coco. I am a little brown puppy living in a world built for humans.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

2011-10-23T16:19:00.001-07:00

As a doggie, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

I don't sweat the big stuff either.

Let's face it. Sweat messes up the fur. So, I don't sweat at all.

Hanging the tongue out and letting it air in the wind is a different thing altogether.

Anyway, you humans could learn a lot from us dogs.

My name is Coco. I am a little brown puppy.

Coco on Unconditional Love

2011-10-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog gushing over the propensity of dogs to give unconditional love.

Being a dog living in a pack of humans, I learned quickly that one has to love unconditionally.

Humans, after all, are so flawed that this little brown doggie cannot think of a single condition that the humans could pass with flying colors.

To be a dog living in a pack of humans, one simply has to learn to shake off the human faults and love them unconditionally.

The humans are, after all, only human.

The Cat Tax

2011-10-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

I've been researching different tax proposals from the FAIR Tax to the 999 Tax and even the Flat Tax.

After much contemplation, I, Coco the dog, have determined that best tax is the Cat Tax. The Cat Tax places an onerous tax burden on felines and any human foolish enough to own a feline.

I admit, the Cat tax is not fair, but it's just.

Money from the Cat Tax should be used on the dog park.

Just Being a Dog

2011-08-29T08:54:00.001-07:00

Sorry about the lack of posts. I've just been out doing dog stuff.

I am doing dog stuff 168 dog hours a day, and 49 dog days a week.

That's a lot of work.

Too Many Kitties in the City

2011-06-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

I have the following jingle from No More Homeless Pets stuck in my brain.

I, Coco the Dog, agree entirely with the video below emphasizing the importance of spaying or neutering your cat:

Does That Doggie Ever Stop?

2011-01-09T16:52:00.001-08:00

People ask: "Does that doggie ever stop?"

To which I reply: "It's hard to stop for a pause when you're standing on paws!"

Under a Christmas Tree

2010-12-22T08:42:00.000-08:00

The picture above shows me playing with my friend Alice under a Christmas Tree in the Wasatch Mountains.

Yep, it's snowing. But, as a ruff and tumble doggie, I've learned to shake off the snow. (Note, I compressed the shot to fit in the margins. Click on it to see the full picture.)

My favorite picture from this set is of a small snow covered Christmas Tree.

My human likes a picture of a snow covered Mountain Mahogany. Go figure?

Contract Signed with a Handshake

2010-12-21T15:25:00.000-08:00

As a doggie traditionalist, I believe in honoring contracts sealed with a firm handshake.

When I first learned to sit and shake. We were infact agreeing to a contract in which the doggie would get seven snoutfuls of kibbles a day (interchangeable with an occasional slice of bison) and three walks a day.

I am deeply troubled to report that this doggie does not (I repeat) this doggie does not get all the walks and all the kibbles that she desires.

I only get three bowls of kibbles a day, and often only one walk. I repeat that. I often only get one walk.

This is unacceptable.

My name is Coco. I've lived up to my side of the contract. Human, now it is time for you to live up to yours!

Dear Sandy Paws

2010-12-15T16:16:00.001-08:00

Dear Sandy Paws,

I've been a good doggie for these last seven dog years. I've barked at the things that need barking at and chased the things needing chased.

For Christmas I would like a puppy. I promise to share my food and water bowl with the puppy (assuming my humans start putting more kibbles in the bowl).

For the pack ... I would like a buffalo. I've always dreamed of the pack taking down a buffalo in the wild.

Yours truly,

Coco, the dog.

Pet Projects

2010-12-14T23:08:00.000-08:00

My Human was all excited about this teaparty thing going on in politics, and even applauded the election of a few teaparty candidates.

I've learned that whenever the humans get excited about something, the doggies better watch out.

Anyway, the scuttlebut is that these teaparty candidates want to stop funding the pet projects of elected officials to save taxpayers money.

I happen to be a pet, and I like the idea of spending money on pet projects.

I am not one of those taxpayer thingies that my human likes so much.

So, I don't like what I am hearing about taking away from pet projects and giving the money back to these taxpayers.

I am almost to the point of saying the dogs should demand the right to vote.

Of course, voting is human work and us dogs don't stoop to human work.

Breaking the Flying Disc Habit

2010-12-11T23:34:00.000-08:00

Doc told me to cut back on the frisbee.

Breaking a flying disc habit is easier said than done.

Not a full two days passed and I met a cute young pup playing fetch in the dog park. This pup was playing with an Aerobie Dogobie flying disk.

My human bought one of these this summer. We played with it once, then my human lost it. Can you believe that?

The Dogobie is the best flying disk I've used to date.

Anyway, since this two year old pup was new to fetch, I thought I should ignore the pain and so it how a real frisbee dog fetches frisbee.

After playing frisbee, we played a game of keep the frisbee away from the puppy. Then we played a game of chest buts with a round of my favorite game ... bitey face.

The doc may have me on a glucosomine regimine, but this still has what it takes to be the alpha dog in the pack.

Frisbee Fetching Days Are Over

2010-12-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

Doc says my knees are shot, and that this little doggie's frisbee fetching days are over.

A lab is the best of all doggies. The one problem is that we suffer a genetic predisposition to arthritis.

In my puppyhood, I would jump for the frisbee so high that I thought I would never land again.

It was glorious.

Anyway, I went to the vet yesterday and got an x-ray. My humans thought I was limping because of my snake bite ... but I shook that off months a go. An x-ray showed damage around the knees. So, the doc put me on a regimen of Joint Support Plus with a megadose of Glucosomine.

I still run like the wind ... so I think I will concentrate on swimming and hikes in the woods.

Who knows, maybe with some physical training and rehab work, I will still be able to work in a frisbee fetch or two. So, I'm keeping the paws crossed and hoping for the best.

Christmas Cards

2010-12-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

While, I got my Christmas cards all done and sent in the mail. This year I sent cards to Cash, Bono, Kyle, Archimedes and other doggie friends. I also sent cards to the nieces and nephews of my extended human pack. Human children seem to enjoy getting greetings cards ... from a dog.

This year I sent cards by 3D Paper Greetings. This company makes fun cards that fold out into a tree ornament. That's why i was in such a rush to send them out early.

My humans tend to put off sending cards until the last minute. BTW, I used coupon mysave10 to get a discount on the cards.

Groping for a Solution

2010-11-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

As people grope for a solution to airport security, the National Defense Magazine points out that doggies have super duper sniffers.

As pointed out in the last post, us doggies actually like pat downs.

So, here's the deal. Why don't you give us dogs a go at it. We will sniff out your bombs for a tasty treat and occasional scratch behind the ears.

Yep, that will do it.

My name is Coco, and I am a dog.

Coco on the TSA

2010-11-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

I don't know why the humans keep complaining about the TSA.

Quite frankly, I like it when a complete stranger gives me a pat down. I especially like it when the pat down includes scratching behind my ears.

I have really soft floppy ears. I think they are one of my best features.

I will often run up to strangers and tell them that they can pet me ... if they want.

So, instead of complaining about TSA, I think the humans should dog up, grow a thick fur, and learn to enjoy the petting.

A Test Turkey

2010-11-22T07:44:00.001-08:00

This Thanksgiving, my human has been charged with the important task of cooking the Thanksgiving turkey for the extended pack.

Cooking the turkey is an important, but difficult task. Unfortunately, my human hasn't cooked a turkey in dog decades.

There are so many things that can go wrong with cooking the turkey, and if anything happens, Thanksgiving will be ruined ... utterly.

Realizing what's on the line, this little doggie has a wonderful idea.

The idea is a Test Turkey!

I think my human should cook a test turkey today.

The purpose of the test turkey is to hone up on turkey cooking skills.

My human is hesitant to cook a test turkey thinking the food might go to waste.

Well, this little doggie has an answer to that problem. I offer to eat it. I am such a wonderful little creature, that I promise to eat it even if my human makes a mistake cooking the turkey.

An Interspecial Pack

2010-11-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

I live in an interspecial pack that includes both humans and a dog.

For the most part, this arrangement works out okay. The doltish humans are tall and can get the kibbles out of the cupboards.

However, as time goes on, I find the dog carrying more and more of the weight of the pack.

Just because one member of the pack has four legs, the pack thinks it can shoulder more of the burden.

Not that I am whining.

Okay, I am whining ... but I just think the humans should appreciate the dog more, and, like, maybe take it on a walk.

I am a rough and tumble doggie and the fact that it's snowing won't slow me down.

Signed,

CoCo, The Dog

Halloween Plans

2010-10-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Some of my fans asked me what I plan to wear for Halloween.

This year. I think I will dress up like a dog. Dogs have really scary canine teeth.

As for the trick or treat festivities. I think I will hide under the bed. Scary things hide under the bed. I might even make deep gutteral growling signs if trick-or-treaters come my way.

My name is Coco. I am a dog. I like Halloween because it's the time of the year I get to take my costume off and be myself.

On Wiki Leaks

2010-10-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

Humans and dogs aren't all that different. Humans express their radical streak by leaking hundreds of thousands pages of confidential papers on WikiLeaks.

In the dog world, we use smells to mark territory. A doggie will express its radical thoughts with a wicked leak.