The Wittarosorus Awards

Dan Glass - Gluing himself to Gordon Brown

2008-07-27T12:41:00.002+01:00

Dan Glass, a protester against a planned third runway at Heathrow, glued himself to Prime Minister Gordon Brown during a handshake at an event recognising the contribution of the voluntary sector.

He told Mr Brown, ""We cannot shake away climate change like you can just shake away my arm."

We're giving Dan Glass a Wittarosorus Award not because we agree with the use of bullying tactics to sell a point of view but because of the sheer inventiveness of his method. We also happen to sympathise with his point of view on climate change.

Source: Sky News

Japanese Stray Cat - Promoted to Station Master

2008-07-09T12:52:00.002+01:00

A Japanese rail company were losing money and had to fire all staff at Kishi station. However a stray cat, Tama is so popular with travellers that she is thought to have increased revenue by 10% so officials promoted her to Station Master.

Full story: Sky News

Ma Yanjun - Beer Bottle Solar Heating

2008-05-13T21:14:00.002+01:00

A Wittarosorus Invention Award goes to Ma Yanjun who, according to Ralph magazine, helped more than 20 families in his village build solar heating panels from left over beer bottles.

Laughing Babies

2008-04-26T23:10:00.001+01:00

I found this collection of clips on Say No To Crack. They should make you smile.

Nora Baldwin - The Butcher who left her Fortune to Animal Charities

2007-09-10T13:31:00.000+01:00

After a life spent profiting from dead animals, butcher Nora Baldwin, 94, left her fortune to animal charities.

Nora left some money to friends and relatives and the rest (about £1 million) was split between the RSPCA and charities including the National Animal Welfare Trust, Blue Cross, the British Union for Abolition of Vivisection and the Humane Slaughter Association.

Her friend, Leonard Woolf, suggested that Nora was trying to readdress the balance after making her livelihood for the slaughter of animals. A neighbour, Mrs Baldwin spoke highly of Nora and her "great sense of humour and a positive outlook on life."

Whether she's an animal lover or a wickedly funny lady having one last laugh, she more than adequately exemplifies a wittarosorus in our estimation.

Sources: The Mirror

Jack Kirby - Making a life-size car from beer cans

2007-08-19T18:32:00.000+01:00

Jack Kirby, an Art and Design student from Hatfield, Hertfordshire, has made a life-size model of a 1965 Ford Mustang using 4,000 empty Budweiser cans.

Apparently the three-year project was inspired by a Budweiser contest to win an actual Ford Mustang, his dream car. Budweiser are reported to have congratulates Jack on his efforts.

Rating: 4 wittarosori (maximum of 5)

Source: Mustang Blog, Mirror

Dick Whittington - Driving 200 miles on a mobility scooter

2007-08-19T17:53:00.000+01:00

What do you do if you're 66 and want to change the world? Well a retired head teacher with a hip replacement travelled 200 miles from Weston-super-Mare to London on a mobility scooter in order to present a petition to Downing Street.

The activist shares his name with popular pantomime figure Dick Whittington, a man famous for supposedly travelling to London to seek his fortune. The modern day Whittington just wanted a better deal for UK pensioners.

Due to his scooter's top speed of 8 mph, Whittington took 10 days and had to camp at night in order to complete the trip. The trip was designed to highlight the unacceptably low state pension and to appeal for Weston's Tropicana swimming pool to be renovated.

Whittington, who was unable to drive up to the door of Number 10, hopes that the 2000 signature strong petition and a letter from the mayor of Weston, has reached the Prime Minister.

Rating: 3 wittarosori (maximum of 5)

News sources: Metro, Mirror
Picture source: BBC News

One-legged biker's friend - rescuing lost leg

2007-08-15T13:22:00.000+01:00

The recent Japanese award-winning dufalumpus who failed to notice that he'd lost a leg after crashing his motorcycle should be very grateful to the hawk-eyed wittarosorus who spotted the stray limb in the road.

The quick-thinking biker retrieved the dufalumpus leg from close to the safety barrier where the accident had occurred, and took the abandoned body part to hospital. But despite his heroic efforts, the limb had unfortunately been completely crushed in the collision and could not be repaired.

Although dufalumpi and wittorosori have been in a constant battle for recognition from the very beginnings of their life on earth, we can only hope that this bizarre incident will serve to improve dufa-wittarosorus relations, eventually uniting the two species and ultimately promoting world peace.

Rating: 1 wittarosorus (maximum of 5)

Source: Yahoo

Moller - Commercially Available Flying Saucers

2007-08-15T12:53:00.000+01:00

Moller International, a California-based company, have started to manufacture commercially available flying saucers. These vehicles are set to carry two passengers and can glide three metres above the ground. Known as the M200G Volantor and costing around £45,000, the personal flying pods will be able to travel across any surface.

The saucer will be held up by the downdraft of eight small but powerful rotary engines which can burn a combination of ethanol and water, giving it very low emissions.

Unfortunately the flying saucers are currently very noisy and primitive - stereos and air bags are not included at this time.

Rating: 3 (maximum of 5)

Sources: Sky News, Live Science

The Serios - Turning a Splash into Cash

2007-08-12T13:30:00.000+01:00

An American family, the Serios, deserve a Wittarosorus award for turning a patch of grubby garage floor into a lucrative £755. When they noticed that an oily stain resembled the face of Jesus, they put the concrete slab of for auction on eBay.

Deb Serio was astounded by the hundreds of messages from people around the world and couldn't believe they'd made money from the smudge.

But was the face of Jesus a random occurrence or divine miracle? Dev Serio felt it was the former. Although a Lutheran, she didn't feel that the smudge was a vital part of her Christian journey and so is happy to sell the slab to the highest bidder, who us simply known as "islandoffthecoast."

Rating: 1 wittarosorus (maximum of 5)

Source: The Telegraph

Xavier Claramunt - Galactic Suite

2007-08-11T17:02:00.000+01:00

The most recent rumour set to titillate trekkies, is that a Barcelona-based company are intent on creating a space hotel known as "Galactic Suite."

If all goes to plan the three-bedroom hotel will be open for anyone with a spare £2 million, to take a holiday in 2012.

What begun as a hobby for former aerospace engineer Xavier Claramunt, was granted £1.5 billion funding from a mystery backer and now investors from all over the world are taking an interest.

Obviously there are many practical problems to be overcome, such as zero-gravity bathrooms, but some obstacles have already been defeated - Claramunt says showering could involve entering a spa room full of floating bubbles.

After eight weeks of intensive training at a James Bond-style space camp, guests should be able to move around the hotel walls in Velcro suits, like spiders.

Like a flying, super-zippy cruise boat "Galactic Suite" will allow guests to to travel around the world in 80 minutes.

And if guests tire of watching the sun rise 15 times a day they can take part in scientific space travel experiments - but may decline as it's unlikely that they will be offered the usual £10 per hour incentive paid by UK academics.

Only 40,000 people in the world are likely to be able to afford the stay and the percentage of those who'd like to invest £2 million in a mini-break is likely to be small. However Claramunt are certain that galactic holidays are the way of the future. Let's wait see if this crazy-sounding idea materialises.

Rating: 4 (maximum of 5)

Source: The New York Times

Assorted Vandals - Painting Lighthouse like Mr Blobby

2007-08-11T15:07:00.000+01:00

In 2001 vandals were reported to have painted the seven metre high unmanned lighthouse at Port Appin, Scotland, pink with yellow spots, the colours of the similarly-shaped TV character Mr Blobby.

James Taylor, Chief Executive of the Northern Lighthouse board was not impressed and told reporters, "It's not a laughing matter because right now we're having to go out there and restore it to its original condition."

He likened the actions to "interfering with the points on the railway line" which we, at The Wittarosorus Awards, think is a little over the top, given that one vastly endangers thousands of lives while the other changes a clearly visible white to a similarly visible pink.

The matter was reported to Strathclyde Police but it's unclear whether or not the vandals were ever caught.

Rating: 1 wittarosorus (maximum of 5)
(Rating limited due to the criminal nature of the prank.)

Source: BBC News

JonAngelo Molinari - London underground dinner party

2007-08-09T19:05:00.001+01:00

Ever wondered what it would be like to throw a Dinner Party on the London Underground? Well JonAngelo Molinari shows you in this youtube classic.

Rating: 3 wittarosori (maximum of 5)

Pongpat Chayaphan - Hello Kitty arm bands for offending officers

2007-08-07T14:24:00.000+01:00

To discourage junior officers from fooling around, senior officers in the Thai police have come up with an ingenious new deterrent - Hello Kitty armbands.

Containing the face of a sickeningly cute cartoon cat set against an abundance of Barbie-pink, Hello Kitty merchandise is popular across the globe.

Providing a stark contrast with the macho, tight fitted uniforms, fuschia Hello Kitty arm bands will belittle even the most bulging of biceps.

Pongpat Chayaphan, acting chief of Bangkok's crime suppression division, apparently told the press: "Simple warnings no longer work. This new twist is expected to make them feel guilt and shame and prevent them from repeating the offence, no matter how minor."

Tardiness, fighting and illegal parking are all behaviours that could be punished with forced armband wearing.

Rating: 2 wittarosori (maximum of 5)

Picture source: anime.com

Darren Farley - Gone Smoking Beer Mats

2007-08-07T13:08:00.000+01:00

Tired of having his pint cleared away whilst nipping out for a fag, Darren Farley from Brighton has designed a new gadget to save drinks from over zealous barmen.

Due to legislation, punters aren't allowed to drink in the street, neither are they permitted to smoke inside pubs. This means that many drinkers are being forced to spend long periods of time away from their drinks.

Farley came up with a solution - "Gone smoking" drink beer mats to cover your drinks while you're out. Several pubs have already purchased mats and Farley is currently applying for a patent.

Of course this doesn't prevent a prankster, or worse still, drinks spiker from attacking your unmanned pint, but it does help to stop unfinished pints being prematurely reunited with the dishwasher.

Rating: 1 wittarosorus (maximum of 5).

Picture source: The Argus

Introduction to The Wittarosorus Awards

2007-08-07T10:33:00.000+01:00

Welcome to The Wittarosorus Awards - a place where people are awarded for particularly amusing, inspired or quirky ideas.

We may choose to award people who've made the news for extraordinary activities, people who've developed interesting websites or funny folk we've bumped into on the street.

A bit about wittarosori:
Unlike its nemesis, the dufalumpus, the wittarosorus is a breed of ape vastly superior to the homo sapien. Wittarosori live in harmony with humans, often adopting their mannerisms and behaviours in order to fit in. However there are times when their superior wit and intellect reveals their true biology.