Could it be the long commute
from far away Wasilla?
Long hours on those icy roads –
that ride can really kill ya!

Or was it David Letterman?
That man was really mean!
He made a joke about her daughter
who was just fourteen.

He really meant to make a joke
about the “other one” – –
Bristol, who is eighteen
with the out-of-wedlock son.

Was the job too tough for her?
Or was she being picky?
With all that extra oil money,
Alaska can be tricky!

Had she become addicted
to the National Attention?
Unable to conceive that she’d
receive barely a mention?

Whatever’s going on with her
Whatever is the reason,
Let’s just hope we will not see her
next election season!

My poems sprung forth!
So many, who knew?
My dedication proclaimed
By the New Haven Review.

Yes, I’ve had fun
At poor Sarah’s expense.
But it’s time to be serious.
It’s just common sense.

Home prices are falling!
Stocks took a nose dive!
The layoffs are coming!
How will we survive?

We must go to the polls
And be rational, folks!
We don’t need four years
Of more national jokes!

I’m all poem’d out – –
I have no more to write.
No more wailin’ on Palin.
I’ve reached my twilight.

No more photos of legs,
Nor a Palin nightmare,
No top secret plans,
Nor convention despair.

Now it’s time
To end the drama!
On election day,
Go VOTE FOR OBAMA!

Dreamin' of Bein' the Prez

I’ll pull any string to win this thing!
I want to be VP so badly.
But what if I could be President?
Uh, that would mean no John, oh sadly.

He is kind of old – It’s a matter of time.
His health could begin to decline.
But doggone it! This is my one Big Chance.
And heck! There’s a four-year deadline.

There must be some way to speed this along.
I’m one clever fox, you betcha.
It’s gotta look like an accident
Or those men in suits will catch ya.

I’ll take him on a hunting trip!
A day all dark and rainy…
No one will suspect a thing
When I shoot him ala Cheney!

First thing I’ll do is tell the Saudis
We don’t need your stinkin oil!
We’ll Drill Baby Drill the Refuge.
Loss of wildlife? We’ll charbroil!

It’s easy to be President!
It just takes common sense.
Got too many Mexicans?
Just build a higher fence!

Our schools will teach the truth
About creation of mankind.
And when it comes to Sex Ed,
Every Child Left Behind!

I’ll be no Nervous Nellie
With those countries like Iran.
Why heck, we’ve got good bombers,
Let’s head out to Pakistan!

I’ll stand strong against all Terror.
All those laws I’ll modify.
The Patriot Act is child’s play
Next to my rebuilt FBI.

Gosh, I might go pick a Justice!
I’ll be sure She makes the grade
By asking Her in secret
‘Bout that evil Roe V. Wade.

In charge, I’ll make some changes
At the Engraving & Printing Bureau.
I’ll fix that sinking dollar!
From now on, we’ll print the Euro!

I keep hearin’ bout some bears on Wall Street.
Are they out there on the loose?
I’ll pull out my trusty rifle
And then shoot ‘em like a moose.

I’ll call on my religion
To lead and guide my hand
At End of Days and Armageddon…
I’ll be fully in command!

I will keep my plan a secret!
We must first win this election.
And when John goes up to Heaven …

You’ll be under my Protection
Using God’s Plan to Perfection!

I will change the world’s direction
Without any circumspection!

No one will suspect a thing when I shoot him ala Cheney

Recent Reuters and AP Photos

Recently deleted photo from Sarah Palin Gallery on johnmccain.com

The other day I wrote a post
About McCain’s website leg photo of Palin.
The AP and Reuters just ran similar ones.
Now, some of her fans are wailin’!

I have to say, I do agree
The leg shot seems indiscreet.
But johnmccain.com had a similar one,
But it’s gone now! He hit “Delete”!

Where did that picture of Sarah go?
Who made that decision and why?
Were they hoping that nobody noticed
Or that folks would turn a blind-eye?

Well, I noticed and I wrote my post
Wondering why that photo was there.
After the Reuters/AP controversy,
It disappeared into thin air…

I suppose it’s better late than never,
But we had better not hear any outburst
About the photos from Reuters and AP
When johnmccain.com ran it first.

The Biden / Palin debate is two days away
But it’s never too soon to spin…
Let’s go ahead and run an ad
Proclaiming Palin’s win.

Why should I wait ’til post-debate
When I can proclaim it bright and early
That my VP-pick so slick outshined
That Biden oh-so-surly?

The reason I’m so confident
Is because our strategy is strong.
Sarah, stick to all your talking points
And nothing will go wrong!

Forget about your Russian neighbors.
Don’t tell your pitbull joke.
Please don’t mention Pakistan.
If your mind goes blank, don’t choke!

If the questions start to fly
On the topic of defense
Show confidence! You know your guns!
Just use your common sense.

Show the world that you are Ready!
Say again “I will not blink”.
If you stumble, shrug your shoulders
And just give a little wink.

Don’t listen to the people
Who say that you should quit.
You are everything that I am not —
You’re young! Female! And fit!

I’ll stand by you
Through thick and thin!
Into November
When we win!

Together we will build our House
At 1600 Pennsylvania.
The nation will be overwhelmed
By McCain and Palin mania!

We’ll put our Training Plan in place.
You’ll gain some expertise
In all things diplomatic,
Foreign Policy will be a breeze!

In the few short days I’ve known you,
You have earned my trust.
If fate makes you the President,
I’m sure you will adjust.

Though I worry not about my health
Should it go from bad to worse,
My legacy will always be
I put my Country First!

Photo from the Governor Palin Photo Album on the Official Campaign Website of John McCain..

I woke up this morning with a thought:
Gee, have I been unfair?
I keep writing all these negative posts
Such as “My Sarah Palin Nightmare“.

It seems so desperately obvious to me
That Palin was a poor choice
For McCain to pick just any-old-gal
To give his campaign a “Woman’s Voice”.

Yet as weeks go by I’m still amazed
That plenty of people seem not to mind.
So off I went to johnmccain.com
To see what I could find.

What I really wanted to know was:
What is Sarah about?
So that’s where I began my journey
I hoped I could relieve my doubt.

On the main website page
I clicked on “About”
Then I clicked on the “Photo Gallery”
And then I spaced out.

In there for all to see and love
In the Governor Palin Album
Was the photo that I show above –
Why, it made this old gal feel numb.

With all of the issues
We women face today
Why would McCain choose
Sarah’s shoes to display?

Could it be that McCain is just a “dirty old man” ?
Who thinks he can get votes any way that he can?
The stilettos are great, but please don’t stop there!
What we really want to see is her fur-lined underwear!

I need to know this:
What is in McCain’s head?
That he chose this photo
For his campaign’s op-ed?

If Obama had picked Hillary
As his VP this election
Would he use this type of photo
To represent his selection?

McCain, you’re so quick to cry “sexist”
You can’t have it both ways!
Is she just some sexy chick
To solve your campaign’s malaise?

If not, then get rid of that picture!!!!
And allow us to care
About serious issues
And not her shoes, glasses, and hair!

Newsweek: The Power of Palin

I see photos of women with smiles so broad
Holding signs – “Lipstick Wearers Unite!”
On “The Power of Palin” page to my despair
There are charts! What a horrible sight!

The Election Chart now: A dead heat – No surprise
But wait, what’s this one over here?
If you vote only for VP, whom would you choose?
What?? Palin beats Biden! Oh dear!!!

And another stat that has got me to thinking
Our country is drifting away.
With Palin as VP – “Strongly Support” has gone up
Another 32 points by today !

But nothing, oh nothing, beats this one oh gosh
“Is she qualified to be President if needed?”
An unconceivable 45 percent
Said “Yes” – all logic unheeded!

Just who are these people, I need to find out
Who blindly endorse without care
This wilderness woman with hardly a record
Whom McCain plucked down from thin air.

I looked up for a moment and saw my son watching
With a peculiar look on his face.
He wanted to know why I seemed so upset –
I told him all about the electoral race.

I explained all the charts to my 10-year old son
His eyes wandered, then turned to a stare.
He looked at me with his bright blue eyes
And asked, “Mom, how come people don’t care?”

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Sarah!

 

Sung to the Tune of “Do Re Mi”
DOE, a deer, I like to shoot
Hur-RAY, a cheer I hear a lot.
ME, is what this is all about
FAR, a long long VP shot
SO, who cares if I don’t know?
LA, a note to follow SO
Par-TEE, I love my GOP!
Which will not bring back the doe I shot, oh..

Sung to the Tune of “How Do We Solve a Problem Like Maria”
How do we solve a problem like our Sarah?
How do we make her seem all in the know?
How do we find a word that means our Sarah?
A Hockey Mom, A Pitbull, Anti-Roe.

Many a thing we know we’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand.
But how do we make her seem
Not so quite extreme
What do we do about those books she banned…

Oh, how do we solve a problem like our Sarah?
How do we sell inexperience to our Land?

Sung to the tune of “I Have Confidence”
I have competence to rule you.
I have confidence you’ll obey.
I have confidence to rise about the fray.
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

Strength doesn’t need to be Worthy!
Strength doesn’t need to be Smart!
Strength Isn’t meant to Encumber!
When you go vote – Vote for Me – Do your part !!

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in ME!!!!!!!

You’ll read no jokes about Palin
No digs on McCain
And nothing about
My election disdain.

My thoughts have gone elsewhere
My fight has gone missing.
I don’t have the heart
For my rhythmical dissing.

Let’s put aside our differences
And focus on that day
When our nation was turned upside down
And nothing seemed okay.

I was living in Hawaii then
Our time zone – a six hour delay.
It was 4:30 AM when I first heard the news
The Twin Towers had toppled away.

The Pentagon had already been hit
The 4th plane still unacccounted for
With all the tragedy that had taken place
How could there still be more?

For just today can we call a truce
Between the red states and the blue?
Can we blend them both together
and make a purple hue?

And quietly raise our eyes toward Heaven
Each of us – – in our own way
Remembering September 11
On this sad anniversary day.

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

I dreamt She became the President.
I know that sounds extreme.
I am haunted by this nightmare:
McCain died in my dream…

Our country was in a state of shock.
Nobody could believe it.
And what misfortune the future held
Nobody could conceive it.

She took the Oath of Office
On that cold and windy day.
With her hand perched on the Bible
Our country slowly slipped away.

The first thing that she did that morning
When she came in from the cold
Was to call the Cabinet together
“It’s time for action. Let’s be BOLD!”

“Just go ahead and do your thing.
I need a minute to go pray.
As President of the country now
I need God’s Plan today.”

Down in the Situation Room
There was talk of terror, talk of doom.
A hostage crisis was unfolding.
It was an urgent meeting they were holding.

When President Palin waltzed into the Room
The military brass jumped at attention.
All worried about her leadership now
Among them, no dissention.

“Our embassy was stormed today
The terrorists now rule it
They have guns and bombs and poison gas
All within their evil tool kit.”

“Options 1 thru 4 are diplomatic
And unlikely to succeed.
Options 5 thru 9 use tactical force.
Tell us how we should proceed”

“No time to think. I will not blink.
I’m fully in command.
Just do something doggone it!
And use a heavy hand.”

“There are three world leaders who need to talk”
Five minutes later she was told.
She shrugged her shoulders and proclaimed,
“Not now, put them on hold”.

The Dow just dropped a thousand points!
World stock markets are crashing!
The United States cannot withstand
This economic thrashing!

All color drained from her face so strained.
Her voice cracked, but then went mute.
Her eyes went wide like the moose that died
That day she went out on that shoot.

Reporters packed the Briefing Room
Anxious questions filled the air.
They were waiting on the President
She had to be somewhere…

“Make them leave! Get rid of them!
President Palin said with great ire
I’ll do what I’ll do and I won’t go through
their baptism by fire ”

“But Madam, the country is in despair!
You must talk to them through the Press.” – he cried
“No reporters allowed here in my House
While I’m under such duress”. – she replied

Back in the hallowed halls of Congress
There were some who made a speech
At the end of Her First Day in Office
On their duty to impeach.

And then I woke up in a sweat.
The nightmare churning in my head
I should never have watched that video
Before heading off to bed.