The Words Better Said

CONCEPT: Jeremy Passion - Pixelated Music Video

2012-01-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

Jeremy Passion — Pixelated

Paul Film #1

Written: 1/5/12

Overview: Set in a major metropolitan city, we take a small look into a long distance couple as they struggle to deal with the distance. If Passion is secured, then we intercut clips of Passion singing his song, serving as the inner singing voice of our main character. If not, we shall use our main character to sing the song. The ultimate goal is to convey the sheer emotion that is in the song — feelings of loneliness matched with hope.

First Verse: We open in an airport where we see John giving a kiss to his girlfriend as she prepares to get in line at the security checkpoint. He gives her one last goodbye wave, before he turns around and walks away. Jump cut to him getting into his car, where he pushes play on his car’s CD player and the song begins to play. We ride with John as he sings the song for a few seconds until we cut to a scene where he’s home. He goes straight to his computer and sees that his girlfriend had left him a message before she got onto the plane. He looks at photos she sent him in an email, and takes a gander at the gift she made and gave him before she left. John looks down at the keyboard holding back tears as he turns around and walks toward his guitar.

As Passion sings, “Oh and I can’t seem to understand why,” John begins playing the guitar.

First Chorus: John strums on the guitar and sings the song as he looks as a slideshow of him and his girlfriend play on his computer. He continues to play as his clothes change and a small calendar in the corner flipping through the days. In the background, times will change as well and his desks gets more cluttered with more items that his girlfriend has sent him.

Second Verse: As the second verse begins, we jump cut to John, who is sitting at a coffee shop with his laptop. All around him are couples kissing, laughing, holding hands and enjoying spending time with their significant others. He has a look of disappointment as he cannot connect on the internet. He picks up his iPhone and sees she has posted status updates on Twitter, Facebook. He tries to connect with her through Facetime on the phone, and he finally gets a hold of her. His demeanor changes from sad/anger to happy as he talks with her. He laughs. She laughs. As Passion sings, “Through lag disconnections,” the connection drops off. He goes back to being sad and sends her a text message, saying he loves her and will see her soon.

As Passion sings, “Oh and I can’t understand why,” John puts on his ear buds and listens to the same song on his iPhone.

Second Chorus: John sings the chorus while at work. The song continues as more days pass with the calendar and the clothing changes.

Breakdown: As the Passion begins to break down into the final part of the second chorus, we cut to a shot of John as he walks up to his condo and throws his keys onto the counter and goes back to his computer. John stares as his computer as it attempts to connect to Skype and iChat. As Passion is singing, “Connecting. Still connecting,” he is trying to connect. Then when Passion sings “Oh I’m waiting,” he feels a tap on his shoulder and he turns around to see his girlfriend standing behind him. As Passion sings, “So Pixelated,” the couple takes a picture and the camera zooms in to make the photo pixelated. Fade to black.

Method to Madness

2011-08-18T00:22:00.003-06:00

I keep thinking how you can die from old age. They always tell me nobody is working as hard as you. And even though I laugh it off, man, it's probably true.

There is a line from Drake's song "Light Up" that always hits home, and it's posted on my desk in the form of a Post-It note. There is no question I work hard, and people wonder if I work more than 40 hours in a week. Quite honestly, I probably work close 40 hours a week — and before you ask, I don't count hours that I sit around waiting and messing around, it's not fair to myself — and it's a more a matter of me liking what I do. If I don't have to design newspapers, then I could really write and chase stories until my fingers go numb.

The reality of the situation is that I don't really care how many hours I work. I don't care how much work I do. I honestly don't care who benefits from my work. Quite frankly, it's not about them. It's about me. I work for me. I work to improve my writing, my drive and desire to become legendary. I'm fully aware of that I lack the natural talent that comes with other writers, so I know I have to work harder, study more and take in as much as I can. Will I burn out? Naturally, all of us do. That's when I take one day for myself and recharge. All I need is 24 hours of me time.

The thing that helped me come to this decision was the reality of my situation. I'm single. I have no one to take care. I have nothing hold me back. I have nothing but myself and my faith to carry me through whatever I'm going. Who knows, my future maybe in the Southwest, but I have to give this career a try. I can't give up on it because I hit a glass ceiling. When did I become a quitter? I'm not giving up on something I worked so hard for and my dream isn't going to come to an end because it got hard at the end.

I'm not giving up. I just want to be successful and with my success will rely on how hard I work. Just watch and bear witness to what I'm capable of. To my friends, just come with for the ride.

Guys

2011-07-11T02:09:00.001-06:00

All four of you who read this. Vote in the poll. Seriously. Do it.

FICTION: The Date

2011-07-10T03:19:00.002-06:00

I couldn't sleep, so I began writing and this is what I came up with. I'm not too happy with it, but hell, I wrote it and decided to post it.

“Hey, Robby, what do you think of this dress?” Dawn asked as she walked out of her room. She was wearing a black and red cocktail dress with a pair of black open-toed flats. There weren’t any straps, exposing her well-toned shoulders. The bottom of the dress had frills and the end of the dress was a few inches above her knees. Dawn filled out the dress nicely, hugging the natural curves of her body. She was by no means a skinny girl, but she maintained a weight considered healthy for someone who stood 5-foot-5. She did a small pirouette, giving Rob a closer look.

Rob looked up and down, making sure to take in every possible angle to get a good idea. As he gawked, she squinted her brown eyes through the thinly rimmed oval lenses of her glasses. She crossed her arms, before Rob finally uttered, “Simply stunning. Like a more tanned version Kelly Clarkson.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Oh God, I look terrible,” Dawn said, releasing a sigh and slumping her shoulders. She began walking back to her room, prompting Rob to stand up and grab gently her by the arm before she could get inside of her bedroom. He stared into her eyes, and reminded her that he always thought she looked beautiful and nothing was going to change that. Rob gave her a hug, whispering in her ear, “Let your hair down and just let go.” Dawn rested her head on his shoulder, and Rob lowered head on hers, taking in her scent. He recognized it immediately. It was the body wash he had given her for her birthday from Bed, Bath and Body Works. It was an intoxicating smell, drawing him closer and he hugged her tighter.

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Dawn’s cell phone was going off. She looked at it and put the phone back down on the counter, not responding to the text message that had just been sent. “You should get dressed,” Dawn urged Rob. They broke their embrace, and she went back into her room as Rob walked into the bathroom with all of his clothes neatly collected on a hanger. He hung the hanger on the door knob and went over to the sink. Rob splashed his face with water. Then he grabbed the green, mint-flavored mouthwash and poured it into a blue disposable cup. Rob took a swig and began swishing the liquid in his mouth, counting the seconds in his head. He felt the burning sensation, reminding himself that he needed to not only look good, but also smell good. When the 45 seconds passed, he spit out the foamy liquid into the sink and picked up his toothbrush. He brushed in small circles, meticulously making sure every bit of tooth was scrubbed by the bristles of his toothbrush. He rinsed his mouth with water, checking his teeth. He searched high and a low for any spots of plaque, and when he didn’t find any he nodded his head in the mirror.

Then Rob pulled down the pair of brown shorts he was wearing, stripping down to a pair of black boxers. He put on a pair of black slacks, perfectly ironed without a wrinkle to be found. Rob fastened the belt around his waste, finding the right notch that fit his pants firmly to his body. He pulled the black T-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. Rob He put on a red shirt, matching the shade of red on Dawn’s dress, making sure to line up all the buttons. He tucked in the shirt and looked in the mirror as he put on a black and silver tie around his neck.

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late. You take as long as a girl,” Dawn yelled.

Rob opened the door, squinted his dark brown eyes and stuck out his tongue at her before closing the door again. He squeezed some gel out of a bottle and ran his hands through his hair. He made sure the front had a slight part, and spiked the hair behind it, creating a control chaos hairstyle. He washed his hands, clearing the gooey substance off of his hands. Rob dabbed on a little bit of cologne on his wrists and put some on his neckline. He grabbed a black vest with white pinstripes off of his hanger and put it on buttoning it all the way up. He did one last check in the mirror and nodded. Before he walked out, Rob pulled out a tiny box out of the pocket. He opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. He gently reminded himself that he could muster up the courage to go through with what he was planning to do. He stared at the ring, and he knew what it meant. His friends were always reminding him that he was a fool at 25 years old to be getting married. It didn’t matter. He was going to go through with the idea.

Rob put the ring back into his pocket and did one last check of his look. He cupped his hand against his mouth and exhaled into it to see if his breath had gone bad. He smiled when it still had the minty fresh smell to it. Rob flicked off the light as he opened the door and he saw that Dawn was ready to go as she sat on the couch. She had her clutch in her hand. Her brown hair with blonde highlights was out of the ponytail that had restricted it earlier. It rested gently on her shoulders. He took a seat next to her, and put on a pair of black socks and matching shoes. The two stood up. Rob took the keys off the coffee table, and opened the door for Dawn. She walked through the door and smiled.

They walked down the stairs of her apartment complex, and over to the stall where his Mazada 3 was parked. He opened the passenger side door for her. She flashed a smile, before taking a seat. Rob did one last check to make sure she was completely in the car and he closed the door. He sprinted to his side of the car, got in and started the car. He backed out of the stall, and when he was about to switch the car into first gear, his phone began vibrating. He put his foot on the brake and checked the message. He shrugged and put the phone away, and began driving out of the complex.

The two remained silent, but at every red light, Rob would take a second to take a glance over at Dawn. She would always catch him looking at him, and each time she just smiled and shook her head. He couldn’t help but take a moment to take in her beauty. He loved everything about her from her small button nose, her dreamy round eyes which had a bit of smoky eye shadow and gentle pair of lips which had a hint of lipstick placed on them.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” she finally quipped.

Rob didn’t have an answer for her, just replying, “Because you’re beautiful.” Dawn began blushing, shaking her head at what he had just said. She didn’t know how to respond. Soon the car arrived at a restaurant and Rob put the car in neutral and pulled up his parking brake.

“We’ll we’re here,” Rob started to say, before he was interrupted by Dawn’s cell phone which was buzzing at regular intervals, signaling a phone call. She put up a finger, and answered, “Hey honey.” Rob stopped talking as Dawn told the person on the phone that Rob was dropping her off and that they were there and she was just getting out of the car.

“Love you too. I can’t wait until tomorrow,” she said as she hung up the phone and placed it back into her matching red and black clutch.

“Well Rob, thank you for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding right with Holly right?” Dawn asked, making sure she had everything. Rob nodded his head, before turning his eyes to the clock on his dashboard.

“Don’t be worry too much about tonight. Thomas was nervous when he proposed to me. She loves you, and I’m sure she’ll say yes,” Dawn reassured him. “Don’t keep her waiting. You’ll be fine.”

The two shared a small embrace, and Dawn let herself out of the car. She walked into the restaurant. Rob watched her every step, releasing a sigh. He shook his head, and began driving toward a restaurant where Holly was waiting for him. He pulled out his cell phone and typed, “I’m on my way.” He began driving, and his phone buzzed again and all it said was, “OK. See you soon.” Rob put the phone down and headed to where his girlfriend and, hopefully, future fiancee was waiting.

Top 3: Favorite Sports

2011-06-19T02:00:00.008-06:00

I'm a sports writer. I like most sports and am willing to write about all of them. It may take a few times for me to learn the finer technical aspects of the game, but honestly once I get past that stage, I can start breaking down and become an overall better fan of the sport.

But the question that many people always ask me: "What is your favorite sport?" Now I

can go on and on about the order of my favorite sports. That in itself will take a lot of time. So I decided that I'm just going to post my top 3 favorite sports of all time and explain what I like most about it.

1. Basketball

- I love hoops. For as long I could remember, I've always liked basketball. The first sports games I remember playing isn't Madden or Techmo Bowl, but rather basketball games — NBA Jam, NBA Live, College Slam (the college version of NBA Jam) and other hoops games. I always loved playing them. I also liked watching games because my dad loved basketball. He liked watching the Lakers play because of Magic Johnson's versatility. It must have rubbed off on me somehow because I find myself wanting to cover basketball more than anything else. Hell, every late March I get to go on my hoops bender where I get to experience as much basketball as I possibly could. But the love goes awfully deep. For example, when I tried to create an elementary school newspaper back in the second grade, I wrote about the NCAA Tournament, and I remember writing about a school that eventually became my college — UNLV — in the story. I also tried designing plays for basketball as a second grader, which weren't that good because it very seldom used off-ball screens. Either way, basketball is my favorite sport because it's pure. All you need is shoes, hoop and a ball. Simple.

2. Mixed Martial Arts

- Mixed martial arts is a relatively new sport to the mainstream. But to me, it has always been a part of life. When I was a child, I loved the movie "Bloodsport." Every time I see that movie, it brings back memories — though back then I didn't like watching Chong Li step on Ray Jackson's head (part still trips me out.) I eventually began doing tae kwon do for seven years, earning a black belt that is — somehow — still one of my biggest athletic accomplishments. I always wanted to watch UFCs when it first started, but unfortunately, I didn't have the power to convince my parents to order the pay-per-view events, so the interest in the sport went dormant until I got to my sophomore year of high school. That year, I became a huge Japanese pro wrestling fan and some of the wrestlers tested their hand at MMA — mostly to terrible results. I also recall watching Robbie Lawler knocking out fools on the Fox Sports Network. But the UFC didn't interest me as much as PRIDE did. I immersed with PRIDE and any type of fighting rom Japan, and eventually that love for the sport translated into watching countless UFCs and to this day I'm a fan and it is my second favorite sport.

3. Soccer

Alright, this one is the sport that usually trips people out. How can I love soccer more than American football? Well, it was the first sport I learned how to play that's why. Other than basketball and karate, soccer was my third favorite. I can't really explain my love of soccer. Maybe because I played it more than baseball — parents didn't want to pay for me to play the sport. I was always captivated by the sport's creativity and the joy the

players played with. I remember staying up late or waking up early to catch World Cup games before school and work. My favorite player of all-time is Michael Owen. Don't ask why. I can't explain it.

I like American football. I even like hockey. But those are my top 3 sports.

Writer's Block

2011-06-18T01:52:00.004-06:00

Writer's block is a funny thing.

I can write my newspaper articles without any problem. I can write this blog without any hesitation. There are a lot of things I can do, but for some reason, when it comes to my fiction writing, I have terrible writer's block and it has been that way since December. It almost seems like I have it in major stints where I can't seem to get going. I start a project and while the ideas are still very much alive and developed, I don't have the inspiration to write them. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do to break this trend. I want to finish my projects because it's what I have to do.

But to be 100 percent honest, the motivation isn't there. The drive isn't there. I'm not inspired. I've watched some movies that contain struggles writers — they're romantic comedies by the way — and somehow I'm going through what most of the male leads are going through. Am I saying that it's possible that my life could turn into that movie? Probably not, only because it would require some sort of female intervention to begin my spark and honestly, I don't have that and it probably won't solve anything in the long term.

Where am I supposed to find some type of spark? Writing a story about a game or person is easy. The material is placed in front of me and I just have to put the thing together. Unfortunately, that's how it is when it comes to work writing. The sources are self-containing. They give me the story. Fiction, I get the ultimate creative freedom of creating something. The problem is trying to make the characters feel real rather than create these ridiculous, out-of-this-world character that is unbelievable and officially ruins the experience of reading fiction. I guess, I'm giving some people insight on my favorite types of literature — character-driven novels. There aren't too many original plots remaining in the world, so it's usually a rehash of some idea only done with a different characters and ultimately that is what makes new fiction great.

Maybe I'm overthinking the writing process and writing in general. The crazy thing is when November comes rolling around, I'm going to be able write freely in National Novel Writing Month. Those are the times when I accomplish the most in terms of fiction writing. Three novels are in the can, and unfortunately, they'll never see the light of day because they're awful. Then again, I really don't think my writing is good enough to awe and inspire some publisher to print my book. I really think that my talent level has such a ceiling that I don't know if I can get through it. Maybe, I'm just limited by my own mental limitations and no matter the amount of hard work I do, it won't result in anything less than good.

Ok, maybe I just diagnosed some of the problem by writing this out. Unfortunately, it will take a lot more than a finished writing project to fix that issue.

Fargo's Drive-Thru

2011-06-06T15:22:00.001-06:00

Honestly, fast food is my life. It’s not the healthiest of choices, but as a single dude who is incredibly lazy to cook, I’ve discovered the delicate balance of eating out practically every day, while maintaining a decent weight and adding in the various fruits and veggies needed for a “balanced” diet.

But this post isn’t about how to live like me and maintain a decent weight, this post is about my favorite burger joint in my adopted home of Southern Utah — Fargo’s Drive-Thru.

Oh, and as I’m writing this, I’m just finishing up my Kiddie Cone, the ultimate in bite-sized ice cream eating.

This place has it all: great food, reasonable prices and an environment that I throughly enjoying being around. I can’t make a trip that side of town without making a stop in at the joint. So basically, every time Snow Canyon is playing a sport and I have time, I’ll be at Fargo’s before the game eating one of its quality food items.

So what makes this place so special that I am willing to go out of my way to eat a burger that I could grab at one of many similar places? First off, the owner, Jeff Fargo, is far from a faceless owner. If you’ve been in the place more than once, it is quite possible that you have met him.

Second, the prices are great. Jeff doesn’t particularly enjoy counting pennies, so he conveniently made his meal deals a nice even number. The combos range from $3.50 to $8.25, and there is a combo deal for every size appetite.

The menu is pretty expansive. Aside from burgers, you can get hot dogs, corn dogs, hot pastrami sandwiches and chicken sandwiches. You can also add more toppings to burgers such as tomatos, grilled oninons, sauerkraut, jalapenos, applewood bacon, shredded pastrami and american, swiss or pepperjack cheese.

The french fries are good, but if those aren’t your thing, you can always try onion rings, sweet potato fries, Fargo fries (described as “lightly friend english piccadilly chips”) and, my personal obsession, tater tots.

My favorite item is relatively new and Jeff sent me a message on Facebook just to inform me that he added it to the menu: bacon-wrapped corn dogs. It was expertly executed and tasted great when I finally got to bite into one. The bacon compliments the breading and hot dogs are always awesome, and the price couldn’t get any better. I got a bacon-wrapped corn dog, tots and a drink for less than $5. If that isn’t a deal, then I don’t know what is.

So why am I writing about Fargo’s on my blog? Well, the reason is because I have a feeling that when November comes rolling around and I embark on my NaNoWriMo project that Fargo’s will be one of my many locations that I will be writing my novel from. It has free Wi-Fi and I can have an endless supply of caffeine in the form of diet Dr. Pepper and when I need food, I can run and grab a small order of tots.

Trip to Salt Lake City Musing No. 2 — Spider-Man 2

2011-05-24T21:45:00.000-06:00

Superhero movies have become a staple of the film industry. With a fan base already built in, it's a matter of picking the right superhero to make a movie about and BOOM a big weekend. This year alone, we have Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America and the very forgettable Green Hornet getting films.

I haven't seen Thor or the Green Hornet and I don't have any plans to. I want to see the Green Lantern and Captain America though, but will either one surpass my favorite superhero movie of all-time, Spider-Man 2?

Probably not.

As I sat in my hotel room after covering a soccer game, I went onto Netflix to see if Spider-Man 2 was available on Instant Queue. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Luckily I caught the end of it on HBO as if it was a reward for going through such an interesting morning, which featured an up-and-down ride from anger to relief to expectation to disappointment.

I caught the point of the film where Mary Jane and Peter are talking in the cafe about his feelings for her, and when she asks him to kiss her. If you don't know what happens, I'll say that a car goes through the window and Doc Ock kidnaps Mary Jane as a way to goad Spider-Man through Peter. I can go on and on about the scene and just retype the plot, but I'll just say that scene is one of my favorites.

So what makes this movie the best superhero film ever? First, I cared about all the characters. I cared about Peter and his struggle between giving up what he really wants and doing his civic duty to protect New York City. I cared about Mary Jane, who struggled with her feelings for Peter and how she can't wait forever for the man of her dreams. I cared about Doc Ock and how his pride to perfect his experiment led to his ultimate downfall. The CGI was nicely done, since it is impossible to do Spider-Man right without the aid of computer graphics. I'm not a huge fan of Tobey McGuire, but he really did well in his role in this movie. Kirsten Dunst is Kirsten Dunst and take that for what it's worth. Alfred Molina was perfect as Doc Ock. Even James Franco did great as he made Harry Osborne stand out in a cast full of great characters.

The plot was well written, and I enjoyed the 128 minutes. My lone gripe is how Spider-Man was unmasked on the subway, but it's a minor complaint for one of my favorite movies.

The movie was easily the best in the series and I doubt the new Spider-Man can top it. Too bad Spider-Man 3 was such a letdown, despite it having my second favorite Spider-Man villain — Venom (Carnage is No. 1).

I'm sure there are people who will read this and say, "Wait, what about Batman Begins or The Dark Knight? Those were great movies as well as being superhero films." My response: I hate Batman. I haven't seen either movie and I refuse on that basis alone.

Can't like a movie if I don't like the superhero right?

Trip to Salt Lake City Musing No. 1 — Chick-Fil-A

2011-05-23T19:59:00.000-06:00

Note: I'm in the Salt Lake valley and I'm not sure for how long. So I'll try and post a blog every day I'm here, covering a variety of topics.

Whenever I leave Saint George to cover an event, I try and find food that I can't have regularly at home. I'll use my Urban Spoon application on my phone to find restaurants that might be worth a look, and I'll cruise Yelp for a couple of ideas as well. I'm fully aware that I can't hit up all the places that I want to because of the time limitations caused by either work or general laziness.

The time crunch has caused me to seek out fast food joints that aren't St. George staples for my lunch and dinner. I'll try and hit up any Chipotle (or any variation of the uber-American burrito) and Fuddruckers.

But as much as I love those places, nothing beats Chick-Fil-A. Every time I'm in Northern Utah, I try and visit one since the towns I usually stay in has it. I make numerous visits to this place, ranging from two to five visits in a single stay.

May 23 was no different.

Upon arrival in Draper, Utah, I checked in to my hotel, set up the Playstation 3 and watched an episode of South Park before embarking on my Chick-Fil-A run. I had stayed in this general area last year, and remember going to Chick-Fil-A numerous times in a three day span. I didn't need to look up directions, I hopped into my car and drove straight to the Chick-Fil-A. It wasn't as crowded as I last remembered it, and the service was faster. The prices were still the same, which is a good thing.

So what do I love about Chick-Fil-A? Well, it's a quality chicken sandwich and the waffle fries are great. Is it the best ever? In my mind, it is. When you rarely eat something, finally having it makes you appreciate it a lot more when it is within your grasp. I have a similar thing with Zabas in Las Vegas — which is a better version of the uber-American burrito than Chipotle.

But back to the ridiculous love for Chick-Fil-A, the chicken is always moist and juicy and is flavored just right. The bread is a standard bun, but that's irrelevant because the real star of the sandwich is the chicken. I've started a count on how many times I visit the place while I'm here. Will I get sick of it? Time will tell. It's not like I'll be able to eat it again anytime soon. So I might as well get my fill on it, while I can.

So how did I discover the greatness of Chick-Fil-A? You can thank the Peach Bowl, which has become the Chick-Fil-A Bowl ( I used to call it Chick-A-Fil, before realizing my mistake). Every year when I saw that bowl game, I wondered what Chick-Fil-A was. After hearing my colleagues around rave about it, I knew that whenever I was near one, I had to try it. Luckily, I found one in Utah.

I had my first Chick-Fil-A sandwich when I was in Orem, Utah, covering 4A state volleyball. It was in the Provo mall, and I remember going there practically every day for a taste of the best chicken sandwich ever. Six months passed before I had my next dose of Chick-Fil-A, this time discovering a full restaurant in Sandy, Utah. It was a nice change of pace from the mall food court, and I finally got to meet the Chick-Fil-A cow mascot. Once again, I was impressed by its performance, making it official must-stop whenever I was near Sandy or Provo.

I can only hope that a Chick-Fil-A arrives in Las Vegas sometime soon, so more people can experience the greatness of Chick-Fil-A. But until that day comes, I'll just appreciate whenever I travel to Northern Utah.

Drained

2011-05-21T01:05:00.000-06:00

Wasn't expecting this to be my first post on the revamped website, but honestly, I need to get it off my chest before I go to sleep. I'm completely out of energy. Physically, there isn't much I can do. That's a matter of diet, sleep and doing the right things. I'm going to be tired physically, just the nature of the game.

But the kind of energy I'm out of is mentally and emotionally.

Now, I now what people will say to recharge: take a vacation. Trust me, if it was that simple, I would have taken one already. It's not about taking a vacation and running away from the issue temporarily to recharge my batteries. It's not. Unfortunately, the things I'm facing are more permanent and even if I left and came back, it'd only be a matter of time before I'd become drained once again.

I'm drained because it's hard to bring yourself up to work when it's almost the same thing every day, and not much is changing for the better. My world is like this: come to work, either cover a game or design the newspaper. Periodically, there will be a day where I get to do something special, but honestly, it's getting boring. I'm going to use a sports analogy because it fits the best — it's what people said about the Los Angeles Lakers all season long. They're bored. It's hard to get up for something you've seen before to the point where you start taking certain things for granted. That's what's going on, and finding the second gear is hard when the second gear. Challenges are few and far between, and even when they do come, it's just a temporary reprieve.

It's gotten to the point where I'm channeling anger to turn into energy to perform when the energy is gone. Sadly, even that is no longer working.

I have two more things I want to accomplish in St. George, and it doesn't have an end date per say. The goals I have in my head are more a feel rather than a palpable goal. Once I feel like I've accomplished those two things, I can feel like I've done all I can and can start thinking about moving forward in my career.

Until then, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Who knows what's going to happen, but what I do know is this — I'm drained.