The Working Heiress

Wins

2011-07-10T08:57:00.001-07:00

In the spirit of making this next week better than the one that just passed, I am choosing to look at what went RIGHT this week, instead of what didn't.

Fantastic Kylie Minogue Concert with my family.
Cirque du Soleil's Varekai (very good seats!)
Harbor View
Kanin Club
Starbucks' Red Velvet Cake
New shoes and a cool new dress shirt.
Transformers
Got to present about 80% of Strama worksheets and got some direction 4 weeks before deadline. Yes, even that is good. I got grilled, but at least I know at least 40% of it is done. Still a long way to go, but at least there is some sense of significant progress, and still a lot of time left.
Got to run tonight with Via and Dennis.
I am still alive and breathing, living comfortably, surrounded by people who love me.
I have a challenging job I enjoy.
There is ALWAYS hope.
I am writing again!

So life goes on. I'm stepping out of the fear and doubt, and choosing to just move forward.

Prayers to St. Anthony

2011-07-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

St. Anthony, perfect imitator of Jesus, who received from God the special power of restoring lost things, grant that I may find my engagement ring which has been lost.

At least restore to me peace and tranquillity of mind, the loss of which has afflicted me even more than my material loss. To this favor, I ask another of you: that I may always remain in possession of the true good that is God. Let me rather lose all things than lose God, my supreme good. Let me never suffer the loss of my greatest treasure, eternal life with God.

Amen.

O blessed St. Anthony, the grace of God has made you a powerful advocate in all our needs and the patron for the restoring of things lost or stolen. I turn to you today with childlike love and deep confidence. You have helped countless children of God to find the things they have lost, material things, and, more importantly, the things of the spirit: faith, hope, and love. I come to you with confidence; help me in my present need. I recommend what I have lost to your care, in the hope that God will restore it to me, if it is His holy Will.

Great

2011-07-09T19:15:00.001-07:00

And just as I thought things couldn't get worse, I realize that my engagement ring is missing. The help and I just spent the last half hour turning everything inside out and upside down.

Sharon reported that she saw me wearing it before I left for school yesterday, but didn't notice me wearing it when I got back home. This morning, I couldn't find it among my daily jewelry which are usually bunched up together on my night table.

Paolo is silent. Obviously disappointed.

The only place I could think of where I MAY have left it is in school by one of the bathroom sinks, where I brushed my teeth after taking lunch. I have ABSOLUTELY NO MEMORY of me removing the ring. But habits like this are so automatic, so unconscious that they hardly make an imprint.

But that isn't an excuse. I just called the school and reported it missing. I am storming the heavens, praying that a kind soul took pity on a scatter-brain and turned it over. When I do get it back (I am visualizing that I will. I WILL.) I think I won't be wearing something as precious for a while.

I won't know until the Lost and Found office opens again tomorrow whether it was turned over or not. Meanwhile, there is nothing I can do but sit and wait and hope.

Here is hoping that writing about it here will take away the power this incident is having on my day. Which happens to just be starting.

Oh God please help me. I have too many many things on my mind as it is.

I think I

Dear Universe

2011-07-09T03:57:00.001-07:00

Dear Universe,

I am writing here again because I am sick to my stomach with STRAMA. I have taken down my Facebook site, about - oh, I don't know - about two months ago, but have since channeled my online escapes to Yahoo. Yes, Yahoo. I actually read those rolling headlines, or whatever you call them. Sometimes I succumb to a bit of Twitter just to connect to the outside world somehow.

I am writing here because I am sick of writing about growth, market share, and profit impacts. I feel that my brain has has slowed down to the speed of sludge. The sheer volume of information I have to search for and digest actually - pun intended - makes me want to regurgitate it all. Like my brain shuts down at the sight of all the size 10 Arial letters I crammed into those Powerpoint columns.

I took a leave from work to commit myself fully to writing the paper. The first week ends tomorrow and I just found today that my paper is supposed to take a major step to a very very different direction. Which, unfortunately, require me to take on even MORE WORK. This news, seems to be bringing me to what I believe could be a mild depression.

Or it could just be this impossibly gloomy weather. I envisioned this study leave to have morning runs and 8 hours of work, with normal sleeping hours. But this weather just makes that seem all too criminal, and the only right things to do are to either curl up in bed, ponder on the meaning of life, or just...blog. Whatever it is, it should be something slow. Don't you think?

So Universe, I am writing to you because I need you to take away the anxiety - the source of this stress and resulting procrastination. This way I can write away with a lighter heart, and not feel as incompetent as I do now. I miss my friends, I miss lighter things, and can't wait to breathe easily, finally. And my goodness, to start working on my wedding.

Getting Unstuck

2010-12-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

She said:

Start fresh.
Start in the middle of the story if you have to. We can stitch everything together later.
Great start. Now step back and let it go. Don't hang on to it too much.
Keep a file of snippets of random thought.
Maybe it would help if you say things first. Then write them down.
Go back to the moments that struck you. Write about sensory things. Insight will come later.
Writing helps process the experience.
Do not use first person.
Don't judge a place. It can be different for everybody.
Focus on what strikes you the most.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

2010-12-15T16:18:00.000-08:00

I am tired but deciding to pick myself up today.

It feels like there's this huge block on my mind and I can't wait to get rid of it. My room is a mess, I haven't had exercise in ages and I haven't reviewed the finances because I can't seem to do much else until its over.

Perhaps a new camera and netbook can serve as inspiration?

Excerpt

2010-12-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

Then again there must be a reason why I was chosen. I think the universe heard that I wanted so bad to be a better writer - and sent me the perfect challenge to push me to reach higher. Funny how the world works. I wonder if I should be more careful with what I ask for, because - and I say this without arrogance - I usually get it.

Nonetheless, I feel that my writing has vastly improved. Though I know I still have much to learn, the 500 words I wrote this morning is probably one of my best work yet. Unpretentious, honest, yet filled with interesting detail. I wrote with my heart. Though writing each sentence still felt like childbirth (or what I imagine childbirth to feel like), I am less afraid now. And the voice that tells me I'm not good enough grows smaller and smaller with every word I write. I can hear myself more now. And what I hear is beautiful.

Kula Shaker

2010-07-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

THEY ARE BACK! OMG! Slept at 2am obsessing about this band.

http://www.kulashaker.co.uk/

New track - Peter Pan RIP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znv58GNexd8

Thanks to Jam 88.3 for the tip. Haha!

On Chris Tiu and why we don't have everything

2010-07-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

For some reason, Paolo randomly brought up Chris Tiu again, and described how this one guy has everything, he's practically perfect. He's smart, he's cute (not my type, really, but I do acknowledge his mass appeal), he's loaded, and an accomplished athlete. This guy could have everything - be anything - join the corporate world (news from the grapevine is he's been offered juicy posts by several prominent multinationals), join his family's growing empire, or get into showbiz. He's got everything any guy could ask for, but remains humble and low-profile.

I could tell my fiancee has a crush on Chris Tiu. But then again, who doesn't?

I asked him if he was jealous. "Konti", he says.

That afternoon, I kept on thinking, how could one guy have everything? Why can't we have what he has? What was the point?

It's not that we're destitute. I mean, come on, we're living pretty good lives - we have relatively good-paying, stable jobs, loving families, great friends, good looks (ahem ahem), health, and a future to look forward to. But are we really as 'limited' as Chris Tiu makes us seem to be?

I have just finished Tal Ben-Shahar's Happier and currently reading John Izzo's Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (yes, I am a self-help junkie), in search of wisdom, and maybe, an even happier life. I'm glad I had this conversation with Paolo at this time, otherwise, I'd probably make myself miserable by bitching about why I don't have what Chris Tiu does.

After much mulling, I realize that we already have what we need to be as successful as Chris Tiu. It's the media and the world around us that told us that he's got it better that we do. But does he, really?

I keep on going back to the thought that "We are where God wants us to be". For a person who has spent most of her life searching, this thought gives welcome respite. I don't have what he does because his life is not my life to live. He has a different role to play, and I've got mine. He's not better, he's just, well, different :).

On his academic and athletic achievements - I've always believed we all have the potential to be the best at whatever it is we want to do. He just decided to push himself harder - with commitment and focus. These are the things most of us are not willing to give, and thus the results.

On his so-called luck of being well-born - who says we aren't lucky? If we have to work a little harder because of where we came from, if we think the world isn't a level playing field, my answer is this - it's because we all are here to learn something, to become stronger, and hopefully live fulfilling lives in the process. In the end, it boils down to choice - what you decide to do with the cards you are dealt with - an these cards are given to you for a good reason.

Who is to say that those who have more are necessarily happier? Studies have shown that the world today is far wealthier that it ever was - and yet rates of depression are on record highs as well. Our minds are programmed to believe that MORE=BETTER. But people are starting to discover, that wealth doesn't always mean happiness.

To quote Ben-Shahar "This is not to say that the accumulation and production of material wealth is in itself wrong. Material prosperity can help individuals, as well as society, attain higher levels of happiness. Financial security can liberate us from work we do not find meaningful and from having to worry about the paycheck. Even so, it is not the money per se that is valuable, but the fact that it can potentially yield more positive experiences. Material wealth in and of itself does not necessarily generate meaning or lead to emotional wealth"

If happiness is all about "positive experiences", then it doesn't take much to be happy. A run around the village makes me feel like a million bucks. An afternoon with Paolo, with my family, or with my girlfriends makes great fun. Precious quiet afternoons with a good book don't cost much, but they make life richer. Sure, I dream of a beautiful wedding and plan to travel the world - these things cost money - but maybe the experience of working for the things I want is also part of the experience I am meant to have. Maybe because there are lessons to be learned from the experience of striving - if I am open enough to receive them.

I keep going back to my past to prove that this is true. I went to exclusive schools, surrounded by the "haves" who wore fancy clothes and went to Hong Kong every term break. I took all forms of public transportation from Marikina to Taft, but never once felt "less". I came from a family of entrepreneurs, and my parents were very intelligent, but we were struggling financially. Because of this, I read and philosophized a lot, usually getting lost in my own thoughts. I was always trying to learn what worked and what didn't. When disasters would happen, I would always want to figure out why, and to avoid those causes at all costs.

Anyway, today, because of the financial struggle and all this thinking and philosophizing, I've developed so much as a person. Would I be the same person I am today if life was easier then? I think not. I probably would not develop the taste for wisdom and learning. If my life was too easy, I would probably be too distracted with the shopping and partying to think about the important things that really mattered.

How could I tell? Because I've been to that time when wealth was overflowing, and I've been to that time when wealth was not. And funny, there are more lessons learned during lean times. It was during these times when I listened to myself more, when I listened to God more.

When these times happen, I tell myself: find the lesson. And usually the lesson is this - love more, be a kinder person, be generous, be committed.

So what is there to be jealous about, if we've got everything we need?

Happy Birthday Patricia :)

2010-01-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know if its right to write this at 10am on a Tuesday morning, before I do the tons of stuff I have to do -- but what the hell. I need to get this all out before it spoils my birthday.

It all started yesterday when my mother commented on what I was wearing. She hated it. I was in a blue-gray cowl-neck a-line dress that I wore as a top with black semi-cigarette pants. I was in suede black flats. It was obvious that I've been wearing it for a while and the collar didn't keep its shape. All throughout that afternoon together, she went on saying I should throw the dress away, and that it looked like basahan. She knew I was reading Nina Garcia and asked why I was still wearing what I was wearing in spite of what I was reading.

So this morning, I dreaded having to choose what to wear. I was late already, and honestly -- I knew I had nothing good to wear! Everything looked old and worn out. Or too big (I lost weight). Or in a style I was fed up with. Anyway, the worse part was, the memory of my mom ripping my clothes apart yesterday filled my mind and, well, hurt me. It made choosing even more difficult.

I guess I felt humiliated, I guess any woman would feel that way if somebody told her what she wore looked like basahan. I wanted to get back at her and tell her that she wasn't perfect either - and started to think of all her faults. But that didn't make me feel better, because this wasn't about her. It was about me.

But in spite of it being painful, I realize she was right. She didn't say this in front of a crowd, so I guess she did not mean to hurt me. She was just giving feedback, the only way a loving mother would -- strongly and honestly. I really HAD to throw that dress out. I wouldn't if she didn't knock me to my senses yesterday. She knew I was procrastinating deciding to take the horrid thing out of my closet -- and so with the other stuff still there. I guess I'd rather my mom tell me, because no one else would. Or at least no one I would listen to.

I've always wanted to look good. And I believe I do, and clearly make an effort to do that. I admire women who make the same effort -- even if they make it look effortless. It's not about vanity, it's about valuing oneself enough. It's telling the world that "I love myself, and I want you to know that". I guess I got hurt because I was having a hard time accepting that I made a mistake, and I fell back on my promise to look good. That's the truth, and the truth hurts.

So there, I've accepted that. Now its time to move on from here. It's comforting to know that it's ok not to be perfect - because we all are works in progress - and that's exactly where the fun is. I've forgiven myself (clap!clap!). I don't want to take myself too seriously.

It's my birthday tomorrow, and I'm choosing to celebrate this work-in-progress. In spite of my fashion victim moments (and there were many, haha), my lutang episodes, my bad habits and my other imperfections, I really, really, REALLY love who I am and the life I've created for myself. If not for these mistakes, there wouldn't be anything to laugh about (I'm laughing alone now like a crazy person), or to struggle with and grow from. These imperfections are what make me human, these are what make me beautiful, these are what make me ME.

Happy birthday Patricia, job well done. I love you :)

This week on TV

2009-11-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Everytime I allow myself a few minutes of TV, switch to only 2 channels: MTV and MYX. I find this weird now that there are so many cool channels to choose from, but I think I have this for a reason - I don't usually have a lot of time, so the MTV's for me act like super-concentrated

bite-size movies/tv shows. In two to four minutes, you get to watch the whole story. So I get a quick break from whatever it is I'm doing, without feeli

ng bitin.

So anyway, since yesterday, my usual doses of MTV have been super-charged and hyper-entertaining, I found myself googling everything I saw. Here's what I found hot on the boobtube:

1. Troy Dizon Dating

Boys Night Out was on when I switched to MTV last night and they were featuring Troy Dizon Dating. I found myself glued

when I watched these ordinary-looking guys talk about "getting you

r game on" and other dating strategies. They demo-ed how to walk, how

to dance (very sexy), and a lot more. I would usually be

a little ticked off at topics like this, but this time I wasn't because main man

Troy was making a lot of sense. He talked a lot about confidence and projection, and how this can get anything you want.

I googled Troy Dizon Dating, found the site, and smiled as the subtitle read: "A RESULTS-FOCUSED Approach on Attaining you

r Desired Dating and Social Life" and "learn how to be a 24/7 attractive man - anytime and anywhere". I found myself agreeing to most - if not all - of what he says. TDD (as the program has been coined) is basically self-help for men, developed specifically for dating and social life. As I read throug

h the site though, I discovered th

at these are the same tenets that can help you in ALL other aspects of life.

I love that he emphasizes that its all about BEING, not DOING, that gets men what they want. Sure, some girls

might get a bit offended by the "conquests" guys have made with the help of TDD (I would, if I were still my old angry-feminist self), but honestly, aren't we all attracted to confident, loving, strong men? TDD is all about getting that out of guys who don't know how to project that (because I think TDD believes that all men are confident, loving and strong). Isn't that wonderful? I wish all guys would check this program out. Then maybe my girls won't have such a hard time looking for dates.

From what I've read, I gathered that TDD has an international clientele and a network of dating coaches around the world helping other guys out. They don't just lecture, they actually do "field exercises" with clients in bars and help them apply what they've learned through the "lectures". The "TDD Crew" seem to have a tight-knit brotherly relationship with each other s

o no one needs to brag or boast. One of their clients shared how TDD em

phasizes health (they actually include gym work outs in their programs) and even interior design (how a bachelor pad should look like), among other things. It's no surprise these guys are successful and in demand.

Check out Troy Dizon Dating at http://www.troydizondating.com/

2. Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video

Just when you thought Lady Gaga can't get any crazier, she shocks you again. Which is why I love her. But unlike Madonna, Gaga brings it to a whole new level you wonder if she's high on drugs when she puts these things together. It's just waaaay too much - and its wonderful.

Bad Romance is from Lady Gaga's new album called Fame Monster. And true to its

title, the video is filled with disturbing images - all of them strong, ugly and beautiful at the same time. This is what mak

es me respect Lady Gaga as an artist - she manages to merge both pure artistry and pop music so seamlessly it can only come

from somewhere real.

I finally found an interview of Gaga on Fame Monster where Gaga describes the sophomore effort, and I quote:

It's a whole new album, and I didn't write about fame, and I didn't write about money, and I didn't write about paparazzi. I wrote about fear, and all the monsters I've encountered on the road, and fear

of death, fear of love, fear of sex, fear of alcohol, fear of the past, so, um, its a brand new side of me, but its also all t

he things you loved about The Fame...

I'm struggling with all sorts of things. But that's the nature of being an artist. I think that when you stop struggling, that's when your music starts to suck. So, Im sorta holding on to my solitude, and wrestling with all of my thoughts. And, I guess you could say that all the years of drive, and ambition, and the dream, were like a mask for the feelings, so now my fears are right, blind running out of me because the mask if off and that's why the album cover looks the way it does...

(More of Lady Gaga's The Vibe interview here.)

The Jamaica Observer (who? hehehe) describes the Bad Romance video as a "non-stop shocker" and provides a blow by blow narration of the work. The MTV does show a new side of Lady Gaga, someone more vulnerable, angry, sad and

fearful. Gaga has obviously confronted these issues head on and has stared it in the face. She made a movie of how fear looks like and it isn't fun to look at. But damn, I have to say that it takes cohones (ok, pun intended :)) to do what she has done and she d

id it. Bravo.

Watch Lady Gaga's Bad Romance here.

3. BoA will Eat You UP

Korean sensation Boa Kwon, aka BoA has taken over the USA. I was glued to the screen as I watched this Asian sister strut her stuff b-boy style. She had stick-straight hair, dressed in baggy clothes and a hoodie, grooved like Aaliyah and had white back up dancers. I was waiting for a funny asian accent in her singing but found none - she sounded all american to me -- but it also could be the sound engineering. It took me a while to take all the interracial elements in. But man, she was good :)

Wikipedia says that the 23 year old is multilingual, fluent in Japanese, English, her native Korean, and Mandarin. And apparently, the US isn't the only country she has been active in. This woman is HUGE. Per Wikipedia, She is the only non-Japanese Asian to have two million-selling albums in Japan and is one of only two artists to have six consecutive number-one studio albums on the Oricon charts since her debut.

I won't be surprised if she takes the Philippines by storm. If she does, we would at least identify of Koreans with someone other than Kim Chiu.

Watch BoA's Eat You Up here.

4. Ronan Keating's OMG-IS-THAT-HIM Hot Body

My jaw dropped when I saw Ronan Keating half-naked on the opening of his new

video "Stay". I got too caught up with the new look I don't even remember how the song goes, and honestly, I think Keating made this video just to show off his new chiseled body. It was just way too much visual for another cheesy love song. His body may have moved forward (way forward), but the music sounded the same.

And the hair! oh the hair. David Cook much? And the tattoos! Where did they all come from? So that's what he was hiding under all those dark dapper trench coats.

He looks great, and I'm sure he worked hard to get that spartan-soldier body, but shouldn't he be in a rock video? It all just doesn't fit!

Watch Ronan Keating's Stay here.

That's it for this week on TV. It was fun. I'll be doing more of these soon.

Confessions of a Hong Kong Virgin, Day 1

2009-11-17T15:14:00.000-08:00

Follow me to Macau and Hong Kong!

http://projectgetaway.wordpress.com/

Writing Muscles and Sister Blogs

2009-11-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

As you may have noticed, the blog entries have been coming pretty quickly recently. This is mainly due to popular demand by my fans. Who, at this point, are of a grand total of --- wait for it --- TWO! Specifically: Katz Delfin and Mike Co. Yay! Clap! Clap!

Now on a serious note, I'd like to thank these guys for giving my blog the time of day, and for prodding me to write some more. Thanks Katz, thanks Mike! If I win a Pulitzer or a Webbie Award, I will dedicate it to you :). Again, thank you beautiful people for getting the writer -- okay, blogger -- out of me.

I've been using this blog to loosen up before writing on my travel blog on Wordpress. Which has been, by the way, giving me a hard time. Anyway, I've only recently gotten used to writing directly on the New Post window (I usually write on TextEdit or -- don't laugh -- Word first, then paste on the blog. I know, I know, it's a little pathetic), so most of my travel writing is still unposted. I am still working on the first article and it's taking just too damn long.

So what's my point? Well just to share that this exercise writing on Working Heiress is turning out to be much more fun than Project Getaway, and I'm pretty happy with how the entries here are coming out. As of now, this is more ME. Every time I read an entry feels like I'm looking at a picture of something inside of me. Interesting isn't it?

Now I understand what the fuss on blogging is all about.

Project Getaway will continue to be a work in progress. Maybe because she was born a little later than her Ate Heiress, Project is still looking for herself. No, I am not schizophrenic, I just think both will turn out to be two different pictures of me. We will just have to wait for Little Project to grow up :) Which of course, means I must travel some more!

The Writing on the Wall

2009-11-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

I drew this last weekend when I was asked to draw how I would look like if I became everything I wanted to be. Initially the red heart was not part of the picture. I drew a girl with a huge smile, a firm stance, with a sense of sureness and trust in herself. The yellow glow meant power.

But there was no heart. There was nothing inside me.

That's when I realized that the reason why I'm not there yet is because for years I believed that becoming successful meant looking out for yourself and working to death. And when I did not do this, I resigned myself to the fact that maybe success wasn't for me.

I wasn't loving myself enough. That's why I was having such a hard time. I have a hard time forgiving myself when I don't do things perfectly.

I broke down before I drew that big red heart. And when I did draw it in, the heart looked just right and the picture looked complete. I loved the drawing so much that I stuck it on my office wall by my computer. I feel better instantly every time I look at it.

Why is it so hard to write?

2009-11-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

I've always admired writers. So much so that I have taken the challenge and decided to be one. And now, as I struggle with phrases and sentences and the truth, my respect for writers has increased so much that I wonder if I am ever going to finally call myself a writer - and believe it.

Why is it such a struggle?

I think because the truth is a struggle to write about. The truth wasn't built for words. Words come from the mind, but the truth comes from the heart. To be able to marry both and to get something beautiful and unpretentious is a victory in itself. Every well chosen word, a well-won victory.

Most of the writers - or those I know who love to write - suffer from almost the same thing: self-criticism. We've read some really good stuff, and we can't help but compare ourselves - is what I wrote good enough? Is it interesting enough? Am I good enough? It's easier not to write because it's easier to hide. It's easier when I cannot see myself on paper. Because if I do, people will judge me - I will judge myself - and I might get hurt.

But not writing will hurt too, because people want to read about what other people are going through. We want to know - I want to know - that I am not alone in being human. I want to be inspired by those brave enough to put themselves out in the open - vulnerable to the judgement of the world.

So writing is about love. It's about knowing the risks of getting hurt, and taking the risk anyway - because not being able to do this - to love - is in itself, a tragedy. It is about sharing a part of you to the world, whether the world wants it or not. All a writer knows is that life is a little richer with her words, with her heart, with her truth.

Love Me Do

2009-11-10T05:19:00.000-08:00

Ahhhm baaack!

I took a leave today to pamper myself after a loooong week. I felt like I was working on a hundred different things last week, and my breaking down on Saturday afternoon did not help relieve the stress. Well, ok, it did a little. But my eyes were so swollen again, it hurt.

Saturday was JAMPACKED. Here was my schedule:

8am - Support Fundraiser at Banchetto

830am-930am - Escorted guests to seminar.

930am-11am - refine presentation on Mastering Your Money for Treasury Department General Assembly

11am-1230pm - Give seminar on Mastering Your Money

1230pm-1pm - Lunch

1pm-5pm - Meeting

5pm-6pm - Dry run of Mastering your Money

630pm - meet Tracy after seminar

730pm - Meet Tita Russ at Project 4

11pm - Left Tita Russ' Place

12mn - Sleep

OMG. Just looking at that schedule makes me feel tired all over again. Haha. The thing is, Sunday was hardly any different! I was back at Ortigas by 8am, left at about 830pm. Saw a movie at 950pm and collapsed into bed by midnight.

Then at work again at 830am, and then got home at 12mn.

The weekend was just CRAZY. I had to take a break. It was so worth it. This is what today was like:

8am - Woke up (my alarm rang at the usual 6am, and I had a bum stomach. Then went back to bed)

1030am - Off to Derma in QC

2pm - Haircut at Shangrila

3pm - Home

5pm - left for HipHop Class

6pm - 8pm - Hiphop Class

8pm - 10pm - tried to write

1130pm - 1am - Massage

People at the hiphop class told me how young I looked that day. I can imagine how stressed I looked. I'm glad I took this day to recharge, now I have the energy for the rest of the week.

Halloween Madness

2009-10-29T22:02:00.001-07:00

The HR Department initiated a brilliant Dress-up-your-department competition, and the judging was yesterday. The response was nothing short of INTENSE. Everyone in the group - from the GM's to the messengers got really into it! Apparently, I was the only one who was too tired to get a costume together, so I settled for the Loose Screws I borrowed from one of my staff.

This is the Admin Department, which is made up of the Purchasing staff and messengers. Their theme

was "Twilight". Sooo cool. I'm still wondering how they all fit in my tiny office.

They enjoyed dressing up so much they still haven't removed their henna tattoos.

Highlights to follow :)

Daddy-o Turns Pifty-one

2009-10-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

Papa turned 51 today and to celebrate we had dinner in ARYA - the upscale persian restaurant at The Podium. My parents have been raving about it all week, so I was glad I could finally going to try it out :)

The food was FANTASTIC. Oh god, they had WAGYU kebabs, and they were thick, juicy, and melted in your

mouth. Ever

ything from the Roti, the dips to the basmati rice tasted good I forgot the names of the rest of the dishes. So I'll just be posting pictures.

My dad made sure he did not dress like 51. Here he is in in his new CK shirt that he bought specially for this occasion.

Arya Persian Restaurant is located at Level 1, The Podium, ADB Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City. Call them at 571-3962.

Beer for Dessert

2009-10-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Famous ice cream brand Elfav finally opened at Galleria, much to my delight. So, to check out their offer, the Ortigas Group had chicken inasal at the mall (my favorite inasal resto to date) and then finally got to taste the notorious Beer-flavored ice cream. It's got 3% alcohol content. Not enough to bring you to the Happy Place (as Mike would put it. Thad didn't sound very nice, did it? Kinda sad, actually. Hahaha. Peace Mike), but I think it made me blush a little. Yay for (warm) rosy cheeks.

I was looking for Tequila Rose, but maybe they were reserving it for Ladies Night :)

It's Ok Not to Know

2009-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

The next few posts were written ages ago on Word. As a promise to revive this blog, I am posting them now :)

May 19, 2008

P had to go to the john and I ended talking to the girl next to me. She was really nice. It was a good thing I was in the mood to socialize. Let’s call her KV.

I believe I attracted her – not in the lesbian sort of way ok? I mean, we ended up next to each other for a reason. It’s as if she was sent to me to answer a question. It’s amazing how the answers start coming to you when you ask.

I was instantly interested when she told me she lived in Baguio. Her parents were doctors and her dad’s practice was based in Manila, while she and her mom moved to Baguio when she was about to go to college. Life is so much slower there, she said, and she realized after a stint in Manila, that she liked it that way.

Her story gets even more interesting. After four years of working in customer service for one of the leading telcos, she got so stressed out and ran away to Boracay for one New Year’s Eve – alone. Within a few weeks, she decided to resign and stay in the island. She walked in one of the resorts, applied for work, and was hired within the day as an HR Supervisor. She worked and lived in Boracay for six months.

Boracay life was – both literally and figuratively – a beach. She experienced the laid back lifestyle and the notorious non-stop parties. Work would end early (compared to Manila standards of course), and she would hit the beach right after. She had to leave though, because she felt the island would “get her”. Whatever that meant, apparently island lifestyle was not for her.

Then she was on to the next adventure – Singapore. She simply stated that she wanted a job at Sentosa – and that’s what she got. I barely remember the details though. All I remember was that her friends started coming over to Singapore when they found out she got the job she wanted. She didn’t say whether they got jobs or not. But she seemed to have all the fun. She left Sentosa for some reason and went back to the Philippines.

Her last job was with Generali Philippines, BDO’s insurance company. I don’t remember what her position there was, but apparently, that’s how she met her date for that night.

So right now she is taking a break to figure out what she really wants to do. Moving non-stop from one job to another exhausted her and she decided to just STOP and think. It’s been four months, and it didn’t seem like she was in a rush to find out.

When I told her I was 26 and was currently on “search mode” she began to give me advice. (I was SHOCKED to find out she was ten – T- E- N – years older than I was. I swear, I thought she was just my age – or younger!). She said I was going to be ok. And said it was ok not to know what you want at this point.

Of course I knew that. But hearing it from her – 36 and fabulous – made it truth. That night I didn’t see her as shallow or consider her an aimless drifter (usually I would with much condescendence), but wise and fearless. Her gung-ho disposition towards life got her jobs instantly, and her sense of adventure and independence made her unstoppable.

I never would have thought that way of her within the first few minutes of conversation that night. This time, first impressions totally flew out the window. We ended up talking for about an hour.

The Day I Learned How to Drive

2009-10-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

June 1, 2008

I can do anything.

Today I learned how to drive. I have been driving with the family driver by my side for several days a week since my dad left for a business trip abroad. My dad returned after just about a week. But family driver and I kept on driving together anyway. For some strange reason, when I decided I was going to learn to drive this year, the opportunities just kept on coming. My mom’s new schedule (which consisted of about one errand a day – very busy) allowed me to take the car to the office everyday, and Wilbert would just drive it back home. Even if my sister needed to be driven every morning to the LRT station located at the opposite direction, strangely, her schedule seemed to accommodate my driving lessons too. My dad even got a new car – which made him pay less attention to the car I was practicing with J

But today was different. Today marks a milestone. Today I drove the car ALL ON MY OWN. I can do ANYTHING.

Let me explain why this is of such importance to me. First of all, I am probably the last twenty-six year old who still doesn’t know how to drive. All my life I have been branded a klutz, of being practically incapable of anything that involved my hands. Even my handwriting leaves much to be desired. I have enrolled TWICE in two different driving schools and felt I didn’t learn anything. And the first time I tried to take the car out of the garage by myself resulted in a bad mix of juvenile panic and regret. I freaked out when the side mirror scraped the gate hinges, and found nasty gray marks on the side of the red car door.

That night was hilarious. I was actually supposed to drive to a nearby bar to meet some friends, and wanted to impress them by turning up in a car. When I realized I couldn’t take the damn thing out of the garage, I called one of the friends I was meeting with and asked HER to give me a ride to the bar. I wasn’t embarrassed at all, since it all seemed so typical that I would end up in a situation like that. My friend, who knew me since high school, knew this about me and laughed too. We left in a huff. I felt like a kid who just broke mom’s vase and had to hide before she found out.

I realized of course that it was pointless, so I texted my dad from the bar and said I made a booboo and will pay for the damages. Within minutes he called and gave me the expected berating. My mom joined in and asked several rhetoric questions, such as “Why would you do that?” and the like. I don’t remember what my answer was, and I’m pretty sure neither did she. But both parents wondered why their smart daughter would do something totally out of character. My dad, exasperated, asked why we (my siblings and I) kept on using his car for driving practice, which of course, was another rhetorical question.

You have to give it to them though. It looked like a pretty stupid thing to do. Like I said, I never displayed much skill with my hands. Well, more of I “display” too many accidents for them to be comfortable with me manning a 400 thousand peso piece of equipment, much less with the thought of taking it through moving traffic. So I could imagine how they felt. What they didn’t know, however, was that at that time, I was already driving around with the driver for a few weeks, and I wanted to see if I could do it on my own. I was getting dictated instruction from Wilbert for several days already, and I figured the only way I’d advance was to make sure all that actually went into my head. Taking the car out on my own was my idea of proving to myself that I was learning. That night, at least I learned that I needed to learn some more. I knew, however, that using that as an answer wouldn’t help me justify the accident that night.

But on that night, I learned that one setback wouldn’t keep me from getting what I wanted.

The Saturday morning after the incident, my mishap was brought up over brunch. My mom said “It’s just not one of your strengths, Patricia”, with a sigh of resignation. I will never forget that. That pissed me off most of the afternoon – she seriously believed I’d never learn how to drive. I finally brought it out on Paolo on our way home, I told him that NO ONE – not even my mom – can tell me what I could and could not do. I was practically yelling inside the car. But boy did it feel good to hear myself say that.

So here I am, a few weeks later, triumphant. I proved myself right, and mom wrong. I haven’t surprised myself in a long time, and it feels so good to have done so. (It also turned out that all the car needed was some rubbing compound. The scratches were gone in minutes. I don’t think my dad even saw them)

I realize that the only thing that was stopping me from learning was myself. I BELIEVED I couldn’t do it, and that’s where the fear, the procrastination, and the laziness came from. I believed what people around me were saying. They all believed my mom and I were so alike that I would never learn to drive like she did (or not do), and I believed that too. I remember Paolo urging me to start learning long ago, and I made excuses for not being able to. I remember having thoughts justifying why I couldn’t learn and why my siblings could. Maybe I did feel a bit of self-pity when I needed my younger siblings to drive me around because I couldn’t do so myself.

But then last November, I wrote and decided I would learn how to drive this year. And every day I’d drive I’d tell Wilbert I was so good at driving. Not getting good. I WAS GOOD. And today, I truly was.

Today was not just about driving. It was about getting the kind of freedom I have never felt before. The kind that released me from the thoughts I used to have about myself, thoughts that stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. It’s amazing when you realize you could do things you never thought you could. Can you imagine just how many more thoughts I can challenge? This life is going to be exciting.

Now I understand what those authors meant when they say it doesn’t matter what your past was, what matters is what you decide for yourself RIGHT NOW. Because everyday you are a new person – literally – and you can change yourself everyday.

Speaking of changes – yesterday, I had my toenails painted red for the first time. I know it’s just a color, but I never thought it would feel this great, honest. I feel like a different person. But that’s another story.

You are affected only by your thoughts

- A Course in Miracles

Tuition Fee

2009-10-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

Guess what? I backed out of the real estate deal. Yup, said goodbye to my down payment. I figured that was a small price to pay for the huge lesson I learned. My dad knocked some sense into me. Oo nga naman, if all I wanted was independence, I could always rent! Conserve my cash for future investments, which were always available. So what if I didn't have equity? Honestly, the rental rates of the condo I was about to buy was only a fraction of what I could earn with cash. The opportunity cost was a bit too much for my taste. Besides, living on 40% of my income was a beginning to feel a bit too uncomfortable.

So my money went to a few furnishings instead, which I am very happy about. Bought a mattress, a bed frame, sheets with good thread count, an aircon unit, and a few other knick knacks. It was a pain in the ass a few months ago, but damn, now it feels gooooood.

Funny thing is, my lolo backed out of his r

eal estate deal too. Go figure.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

2009-06-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

Its been an entire year since my first post. So typically me. But amazingly, its the same month. What is it with June?

It has been only a few days since I made that whirlwind decision to finally get my own place. That's right, in the midst of global economic turmoil, I just bought my self a piece of property in Ortigas - a modest, 31.7 square meter condominium unit just beside my office building. I paid the reservation fee today, and I felt nothing - no pinch, no hesitancy, no aftershock. It was as if it was something I had to do. This was surprising considering I've been window-shopping for condos for a year, with no serious plans of buying. I wonder if its just because I only had 4 hours of sleep last night.

I finalized this decision upon seeing an old quote from this condo's developer last Saturday. P and I just checked out Newport City (http://www.newportcity.com.ph/) in Villamor (which was VERY NICE by the way - P was RAVING about it, he practically wanted to buy there and then). I wanted to compare the prices with some old quotes I got from other visits. One of the quotes said "Turnover June, 2011". I went -- "S**t, this is just 2 years from now!". I realized that I could have a unit rented out WHILE I was still paying for it, making it pay for itself. After a little number crunching, I realized I could actually have my own place -- and move out before I turn 30.

What also helped was my mom's genuine support. Around mid-May, I took her to see the model unit. Upon seeing it, her first words were "Ang cute! Sakto sa 'yo 'to!". She REALLY wanted me to get the condo. Which was wierd, considering we came from very traumatizing real estate experiences. But I guess she saw how practical my choice was. She talked about how she and my dad can help me out with the payments, etc. She was sold, while I was still in window-shopping mode. When the broker called a few days after, I immediately turned it down and said my cashflow wouldn't cut it.

A couple of weeks later, my lolo sent an unusual text message to several of us (titos, titas) and said that he just bought a unit for one of this daughters (one of my titas) in the new Megaworld development in Villamor (Newport). He was encouraging EVERYONE - me and my brother included - to check it out and buy from there too. I visited him a few days after this, and turns out he couldn't stop talking about his new purchase and how nice it would be if the whole family moved to Villamor. This was VERY UNUSUAL for my lolo to say, since he already owns several condo units and other properties, and has always been so antsy to liquidate them. He said this himself. But this time, he says, this Villamor development is a good investment. My lolo is a BILLIONAIRE, and is swimming in cash. If he suddenly says real estate is good -- you better listen.

Oh, and I have to mention that the family who occupied the extension behind our house FINALLY moved out. This meant that the maids could move there and I could finally have my own room -- after twenty-seven years! This now gives me the opportunity -- and the SPACE -- to buy homestuff (bed, mattress, etc) for a future residence .

So by last Saturday, everything around me (including comments to my Facebook status) seemed to be leading to the move I made today. My mom's go-signal, my lolo's sudden taste for real estate, P's raving over Newport, and the timely move of our neighbors backdoor all seemed to tell me that I should get the condo unit I've been mulling about for quite some time. Incidentally, I also had some significant cash in my account I was reserving for an upcoming bank investment, which my dad advised me not to get into, and I complied. Now that I had extra cash just sitting there made me feel that the decision to buy was a no brainer: I could pay the reservation fee, and still have enough to make a cash placement big enough to generate an extra P1,000 passive income. After talking to the broker last Monday, I was given a lower price than what was in the quote! My total passive income would practically be equal to the monthly amortization required!

The only thing left to think about were the annual lumpsum payments, which when divided by 12, would actually be bigger than the monthly amortization. I could still afford to set aside this amount every month, but I would have to live on less than 40% of what I make. This would still be a respectable amount for a single woman with no kids and living with her parents, but this would take major, MAJOR adjustment in lifestyle. I'm still paying for half my MBA tuition fee, and recently my credit card bills have been surprising me. Time to take major control. This may now mean daily packed lunches from home, back to riding buses and jeeps instead of taking cabs, facials every other month instead of every month, no more expensive salon treatments, practically zero vacations, and carefully chosen nights out. Hell, maybe weekends of DVD marathons and store-bought beer.

But then I realized thats just how I've been living these past few months already, and all of these adjustments are nothing I haven't done before. This should be a piece of cake.

I've always wondered how people arrived at decisions to purchase property. Now that I've purchased myself, I can't help but think about how great it is to know how all my other investments are working together for this new one. Thank you Robert Kiyosaki and Lolo for teaching me the value of saving, about the magic of compound interest and passive income . Thanks Ma and Pa, for making us go through that financial crisis that taught us how enjoy the simple life. Without that, I wouldn't learn how to ride the jeep or how to make extra income on the side. Thanks P for being so much fun on DVD nights and ten-peso evenings at Marikina Sports Center. Thank you God -- I know you are with me on this one. This is all the wealth I need.

Pagliaci hits the spot

2008-06-06T03:04:00.000-07:00

I bolted out of the office at 4pm and and braved the ridiculous heat as soon as I read this article on Yahoo http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22189/50647-six-mood-busters. I took Advice No. 1 - Get a Change of Scenery and Advice No.2 - Eat something decadent. It was as if Yahoo knew exactly what I needed.

I discreetly made my way over to The Podium, using the route with the least direct heat and using Discovery Suites as a short cut (act smug and important, and they'll believe your a hotel guest. From the looks of it, not a lot of people can pull that off :D). I treated myself to two indulgences rarely found in Ortigas -- Pagliaci Ciocolatti Gelatto and Wide Open Space. It was heaven.

So there I was, quietly enjoying my scoop of dark frozen milk (that's what it is right?), taking a break from the ringing phones and the glare of my computer. I enjoyed watching the soccer moms take their kids to the movies in the middle of the afternoon. Corny easy-listening standards filled the background. The mall sounded cavernous, really. Not a lot of people. I still hope they make money though. Stressed out office drones need nice empty malls to walk in.

It's not that I was too busy. In fact, I was so idle that at one point I wanted to gouge my eyes out. I think I was just uncomfortable -- ventilation in my area was just NOT GOOD in this heat. And I lacked sleep. I actually woke up from a nightmare this morning -- I dreamt that I ordered a MacBook PRO by mistake instead of the white MacBook (I ordered one from Ebay yesterday morning). I think that's why I lost some zzzs. I never thought getting the wrong Mac would have that kind of effect on me. So to be sure, I double checked. Thankfully, the confirmation notices all say "13'3 Macbook". I can sleep well tonight.

A pair invaded my privacy and dared to share my table (really, did Pagliaci look like the foodcourt?!) -- a tween with an almost-annoying American accent and her 50 something dad who borrowed her brother's clothes. I think he wanted to look like her boyfriend. Very strange. Tween's voice was getting too loud so I had to leave.

I so need sleep.