The Working Woman

Dumb Dumb Dupre

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:57:00 +0000

You gotta love it.

For those who have not heard, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the infamous hooker behind the Spitzer affair, will not be getting any money from Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis. He originally offered her $1MM to do a 2008 Spring Break Tour. However, after looking through his archives, he found all the footage he needed from her 18th birthday in Miami. Why buy the cow when you have the milk in your refridigerator?

I must say I am in 7th Heaven right now. She made it a point to have her face plastered all over the media in hope that she would make money off of this. But it backfired. Playboy won't give her anything...and now she can't even make money from Girls Gone Wild. Poor little thing. Let's not feel too bad for her though, there are reports that she made about $1MM a year for three years being a glorified hooker. I guess I am just in the wrong industry.

Now don't get me wrong, I know the girl grew up in a broken home and she claims that is the reason she has acted out but she is now 22 years old. At 22, everyone makes mistakes but they also should have morals and know right from wrong. Her identity was hidden when the Spitzer affair went public but she chose to get her 15 seconds of fame. I hope Dupre seeks counseling because one day she will wake up, all of her money spent, and will only have her memory left. That can be a cruel thing when it haunts you for decades. What if she actually decides to marry and have children? Her actions will now trickle into their lives.

Dupre, if you are reading this now...save yourself. Get out of this mess and come away with your dignity. Stop having sex for money, running around naked and be an adult. If you want a serious singing career or any career that does not require you to have sex for money, you need to work for it honey. Now that you are an adult, it is time to pick better role models.

Sometimes It's Just Life

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:41:00 +0000

The more I look around, the more I realize we are part of a society that takes pills to deal with life. It seems that one friend of mine cannot sleep so takes pills for that, another gets constant headaches, another keeps her vicodin around "just in case, the other is sick all the time. It makes me really think about how life was years ago when there weren't as many medicinal options as there are now. It appears people were even more happy back then, more peaceful, more relaxed. Why is that?

Have we become the society that is emotionally unstable? I think it is safe to say we are. Just recently I heard a report that there is traces of prozac and other prescriptions in our drinking water because so many pills are being manufactured and ending up in landfills or flushed down the toilets. This is truly alarming.

What I think people do not understand is that in many cases, the more pills you take, the more you need them. The easier it is for your body to forget what it's naturally supposed to do.

Now before you go thinking I am a Tom-Cruise-no-such-thing-as-ADD-no-need-for-pills wack-a-doo I will stop right here and tell you I am not. I truly believe there are more medical conditions now than there ever was but because of that, and the Internet, some people take advantage. Yes, I know, when a loved one passes away, the pain is sometimes unbearable and yes, when you have worked a long day and your eyes hurt so bad you want to cry it is easier to take a pill than to let your body deal with it. I get it. But what does that teach our youth and ourselves?

If I can offer one piece of advice, let it be this...before you go off and have your doctor write a prescription, take a look at your life and try to find the natural way to resolve the issue. If you can't sleep, maybe you are drinking too much caffeine. If your eyes hurt, maybe you should take a break from your computer and walk during lunch. I think it is beneficial for us to start listening to our bodies first. I am guilty of taking the easy way out but in the long run, I feel better if I cut out the things my body is rejecting.

This Spring, let's start taking our body and mind back. Let's make a conscious effort to put ourselves first and make lifestyle changes that will make us happy. Nobody can do this for us, we must do it for ourselves.

Good luck with life...I know yours will be a great one.

"Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." ~World Health Organization, 1948

A Letter to Silda Spitzer

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:08:00 +0000

Dear Silda Spitzer,

I just want to start by saying that I am sorry you are going through such an emotional ordeal. I have no idea what your story is - i.e. how you met your husband, your first kiss, how he proposed and your wedding day. What I am sure of is that you did not deserve to be publically slapped in the face by your husband.

With that said, I have a few questions for you. First question is - HOW CAN YOU STAND NEXT TO YOUR MAN DURING ALL OF THIS SCANDAL? Your husband spent thousands of dollars "escorting" a 22-year-old hooker. How oh how can you pull herself to do that? Come on now, we are not in the 1950s and you are woman anything but a wall flower. You were a rising corporate lawyer and a strong public figure. YOU HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS!

Even if you decided to work on your marriage and in the end stay with him, I don't understand how one can stand in the public eye and say "This is my husband, I support him" after he humiliated you and your family. As I said, I can't even begin to imagine the feelings and hurt that you are feeling but at the end of the day, I can say that you must be strong. If not only for yourself, for your three daughters who are probably not much younger than the aspiring singer your husband was supporting. I am sure you do not want them to grow into large doormats as they marry in the future. Set an example for them and for the millions of women watching you stand beside your man, looking away at times with bags under your eyes.

Please know you will pull through this difficult time but I hope you come away with your strength and dignity. I am pulling for you and hope you will let your voice be heard. You do not need to slam any of the parties involved but I want to hear from you one day, when you are ready. Trust me, the women in this country will listen.

Warm regards,
Strong Working Women

Bitch is Back

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:50:00 +0000

For a woman, double standards are a way of life. I am sure you all agree. A woman has a one night stand - she is a slut. A man has a one night stand - he is just being "a man". A man is assertive, he is a good business man...a woman is assertive and she is a bitch. I am sure Hillary Clinton would thoroughly agree with me on this.

I have argued about Hillary Clinton at length with my dad. He says "she is cold, she comes off as a bitch" in which my response is "oh, because she is confident and strong willed in a man's world and industry?". To this I say with pride...Bitch is Back.

If in client meetings or with vendors I come off as "a bitch", I know I am doing a great job because I am arguing my point, getting stuff done and saving money. To this and to all of the other women I encounter like this I say - BRAVO! Don't be ashamed to be "the bitch", I am not saying you should walk around the office like your poop smells like roses but have a little faith in yourself and see what doors will open for you. Nobody wants a flim-flammer, jellyfish working for them, trust me. When you are in a position to work with vendors, if they smell blood, they will attack. Stay confident and strong and don't ever let them smell blood.

Keep truckin' ladies. Keep your head up.

With love, from one proud "bitch" to another.

Secret Life of a Brain Dead Dad...and Mom

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:04:00 +0000

One of my guilty pleasures (next to a stiff cosmo) is watching the TLC network. I can easily get swept up in any "Trading Spaces", "10 Years Younger", "Dr. G Medical Examiner"...you name it. Last night I caught an episode of "Secret Life of a Soccer Mom". Tracy Gold was the host and I was happy to see that she has gained some weight and is likely over her "issues". Anywho, in this show, they take a Soccer Mom and remove her from her stay-at-home mom duties and place her in the working world. In this episode, the mom went to school for fashion design and worked in the industry but stopped once she had her kids.

Long story short, she does a great job when they put her back in the working world for a week and even creates a dress that is worn by Jennifer Hudson. Fabulous.

Now for my issue. In the show, while the mom was at work for the week, the dad had to stay home with this kids. This man infuriated me beyond belief. It was like he never interacted with a child in his life! He let them walk around and make a mess of the whole house and at one point, they were EATING DIAPER RASH CREAM! How, oh how, could a mother let a dad get away with not being a responsible parent for this long? Her oldest daughter was about 8 years old and was a better parent than her father!

In this case I must blame this mother for the lack of parenting skills her husband has. If you teach your husband from day one that you will do everything for the kids and show that you do not "trust" him to "baby-sit", he will cater to this thought and will let you do everything. HELLOOOO, WOMEN, DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF! From day one, my husband never knew what it was like to have all of the chores done and dinner on the table when he walked in. That is because I work full time and in our house, it is equal opportunity s**t work. I can tell you it will also be this way when we have kids. Please trust me on this one...it will help your marriage and help you to be a better parent if you work as a team. That means, each person does an equal part in everything.

If you say that this does not matter much to you, I believe it is worth it to show equality to your kids because in the world outside of your home, times are a-changing. Keep up or be pushed around.

Clothes Make the Man...and Woman

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:23:00 +0000

I am a firm believer that if you want a specific role in life and in the workplace...you must first dress the part. It doesn't take a lot of money or a fashion consultant to tell you that wearing sweatpants on Casual Fridays is a big no-no.

The reason I bring up this topic is because I was at a client meeting last week and noticed all kinds of clothing gone wrong. From over-stretched to just plain inappropriate. I understand that the receptionist does not earn what a VP does and should not be expected to come in wearing designer suits but for the love of God, would it kill her to throw together some dress pants and decent shoes? We were in the midst of a meeting and in walks the assistant to the CEO wearing cut-off shorts and a tee-shirt! No, I am not kidding you. My eyes almost bugged out of my head. Does she think she will ever be promoted from an Assistant if she is dressing like that?

Ever since Old Navy and even Target entered our lives, there is no reason for sloppy dressers in the workplace. You can get a nice Isaac Mizrahi outfit for under $50. Can't beat that with a bat.

So, if I can offer another piece of advice. Take a look in your closet, ladies. More importantly, ask a boyfriend/husband/friend what they think of your style and work attire. You may be surprised. I am very lucky that my husband has an eye for fashion. He is a sharp dresser and helps me along too. Trust me that when you look good, you feel good and your confidence will be overwhelming to all you encounter.

Happy Shopping!

When Not to be "Jabber Jaws"

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:28:00 +0000

I must say that I am guilty of doing this myself. I have gotten better over the years but I still make the same mistake time and time again.

What mistake you ask?

Well, I have the habit of complaining about my husband to my sister...and my sister to my husband, when either of them piss me off. The reason this is such a big deal is because I feel that when I show anger toward one of them, the other is quick is run to my defense, agree with me and deep down will hold it against that person even though I am well over the issue.

I must admit I have been on the other side of this spectacule too. When a friend of mine will complain about her hubby, I must admit that the next time I see that girl's hubby, I think of the issue she told me about...I don't say anything...but think about it.

So I ask, is it better to let it out or keep it in?

Let's start with option #1, we let it out. Now our sisters and friends will no doubt look at our hubby's differently (depending on the dirt). They will give their opinion and make judgements and let's face it, at the end of the day, they will talk about the situation to other people. Definitely a negative.

Option #2, we keep it in. Now we play and replay the issue in our mind and it makes us nuts, or we just get over the issue.

I think we have a clear winner. Option #2. Now I just need to practice what I preach. Easier said than done. Do you have experiences with this issue? Do you let it out or hold it in...or do you have people in your life that can really keep their mouth shut??

The Art of Negotiating

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:24:00 +0000

I have met many women in my day that will argue that MAC make-up is wayyy better than Lancome or that their gym is the best in the city...but when it comes to their finances, they let a great argument pass them by. I feel that we, women, do not argue nearly enough about the important things in our lives and it is costing us big bucks.

Here's an example, did you know that if you are a good credit card customer (i.e. make payments on time, use the card now and again, had the card for many years) you can call and argue that you get a lower APR? I do it every six months or so and they always have lowered my APR by something. If you had a card since college and are now in your mid-twenties and have a better job but keep a minimum balance...why should you pay the college kid rate of 20% APR? Give them a call and tell them you want a lower rate or you will cancel the card or transfer the balance.

Second example, when you get a raise, unless it blows your socks off, there is no harm in asking for more...or asking for some other perk (extra week of vacation, better desk location, etc). I have never heard of anyone being fired for asking for more money...or not been hired after being made an offer because they asked for more money. The worst they can say is "No".

Now when it comes to the big things in life, I will put up an argument - buying a house, car, salary, credit cards. However, I think there is room outside of this area - furniture stores, apartment rent, cell phones, electronics.

I think it should be our first priority to argue like it's make-up and let's save some money this year. You with me? I am sure it will be embarrassing at some times but let's remember, they can only say no.

"You're Not Fat"

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:59:00 +0000

I never understood why some women make it a point to fish for compliments every time I see them. Sometimes it happens in a public setting and I am just embarrassed for that person. I am sure you all know what I am talking about. You are out to dinner or having drinks with a friend and then it happens "ohh what a cute shirt, I wish I could wear that but I am too fat"...and your response "ohhh, no you're not!". You can easily replace any "fat" statement with "bony", "ugly hair", "stupid", etc.

If you are the one blurting out any of these statements, you are doing more harm than good not to mention you're making the world uncomfortable. By using such statements, you/your friend, is showing the world they have zero self-esteem. If you don't like yourself, who is going to like you? You are also telling the world that you NEED to hear nice things, on command, to feel better. That is an ass-backward way to live your life.

Don't get me wrong, it is nice to hear nice things from your friends every now and again. Especially regarding the trouble areas on our bodies, but trust me, it will mean more if you don't poke to get them to give you a compliment. If you are the one listening to a friend say these things about herself, it may be worth the time to talk to them about their own self-esteem. I know, easier said than done.

Bottom line is this, you need to love yourself, even when you want to hate yourself because that is the only way you will plow through regret, anger and disappointment that you may feel for your actions. Even the strongest of women need help with this, myself included.

Happy New Year! Here's to a better you and me.

Keep It In Your Pants

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:36:00 +0000

Maybe it's just me but nothing annoys me more than when I am trying to talk to someone...anyone...and they have their nose buried in their BlackBerry. I understand that multitasking is a way of life now-a-days but there are some things that require undivided attention, especially when I am answering a question you asked me ("how are you?", "how is work?", etc). Maybe you are guilty of doing this to someone else but they are too polite to tell you that you are being disrespectful.

If someone asks me a question, or we are engaging in a conversation yet decides to bury their face in their phone when I am talking...I just stop talking. I suggest you do the same if someone is doing this to you. When did we become a society where the person on the other end of the wireless signal is more important that the living person in front of you?

I must admit that my husband is guilty of doing this to me every now and again and it makes me batty. Granted, it does not happen as much as it did in the past, it still happens and when it does, the s**t does hit the fan. Not only do I think this is not Ok in a relationship but also in the business world. Nothing is more annoying to clients or coworkers than when they are mid-sentence and the person they are speaking to decides to take a phone call or start typing a text/email. It makes you look bad. I suggest you not do it. If you are speaking with someone and ignore your cell phone beeping, that will make that person's day and really make them feel important. Feeling important goes a long way.

I hope in the hustle and bustle of this holiday season and in the world of business, you will make someone feel important.

A Lot of Joy, A Lack of Oy

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:44:00 +0000

Each year while walking through the streets of Chicago, Boston or pretty much any city in the US, I gawk over the Christmas lights and decorations. Every year seems better than the last. Santa, reindeer, nativity, etc. It really puts me in the holiday spirit and makes me appreciate the winter beauty of the city. It has done this to me since I was a child.

But then I wonder...where are all the Hanukkah decorations? I am not Jewish but I feel for those who are. Where is the menorah? Where are the blue and white lights? Shouldn't there be equal Hanukkah decorations as Christmas decorations? I know many Jewish people that host Hanukkah parties and decorate their homes as well as create anticipation and excitement in their children for the upcoming holiday but I still don't think it is fair. I have also been told that Hanukkah is not all about the presents like Christmas is, but again I say...it is not fair. Jewish children should be able to walk through big city streets and see decorations they can relate to rather than looking eye level at decorations and ads that are targeted to their Christian peers, that they are not a part of. Wasn't Jesus a Jew?

If we were living in Rome, I could see the city displaying a Christmas Tree only...or in Israel, a menorah. However we are in the United States. This is a melting pot of races and religions. Shouldn't all people and especially children, feel welcome and be able to share in annual celebrations?

As citizens of this country and of our cities, we can write letters and ask for PC decorations next year...it may help if there is enough demand. But we can start even smaller. In our offices, when you receive an email with a subject "Christmas Party" or "Christmas Grab Bag" you can be the one to speak up and make the sender realize that having "Christmas" rather than "Holiday" excludes a lot of people, especially in large companies. That small change could make a world of good in creating unity in your office and help embrace our differences.

Happy Holidays to you All.

Tis the Season for Stumble Bums

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 17:07:00 +0000

It's that time of year when we start to get invites for our company holiday parties. I always enjoyed attending because usually the companies I worked for would spare no expense...which made the event a lot of fun. Great food, great conversation but then it happens - someone has way too much to drink and she turns into a drunken stumble bum. Why must this happen every year? Yes, I understand the alcohol is free and the band is playing a lot of good songs but please know when to say when. Of course there are men who also drink too much but I must say that everybody remembers the women. It is unfortunate but this is the way the world works. If you think it will not follow you back to the office on Monday, you are wrong. If you think it will not have an effect on your career, you are wrong again. It is better that you do not attend at all rather than make an ass of yourself. Sure, there are times when I went to work parties and holiday parties where I felt my cheeks get a little warm but luckily I immediately switched to water and redeemed myself. I was never that woman who was slurring when she spoke but let me tell you, I do remember the names of those who were. If you were the CEO of a company, would you promote someone who can't control their alcohol at a corporate event? If a person cannot control the amount they drink at a work function, the bottom line is that they demonstrate a lack of control and therefore make bad decisions. Period. Don't be that person. It is better to spend your time chatting with a lot of different people so they, and their significant others, have a good, lasting impression of you. This will go a long way and is something you will want to be remembered for on Monday.

I am not saying that if you and a couple of girlfriends go out after work, you need to be on your best behavior at all times but just use your head. Pay attention to new people and take the time to be trustworthy and earn the trust of others. It is important that you learn who the office gossips are and you stay away from them. It is not worth you going out after work with them one day if it will spark some false rumor.

To help you make it through this corporate party season, here are a list of rules to abide by-

1) Give yourself a drink limit before you walk in, and stick to it. Make this limit known to your boyfriend/date/husband
2) Eat something before you go. If cocktail hour and the meet-and-greet time will push dinner back several hours, don't start on an empty stomach
3) Don't choose an alcohol you never drink because it is free. If you normally drink white wine, why would you think vodka on the rocks would be a good choice for you?
4) Eat dinner. If you plan on having a few drinks, make sure you actually eat some food with substance to hold you through the entire event
5) Pass on the after party. There is no good reason why work people need to be out to 2AM or 3AM together. There is no good that can ever come of it
6) Do not shack up, make-out or spill your guts to coworkers. If you did not tell them when you are sober, there is no reason you should tell them when you are tipsy
7) Don't bring a new love interest to a corporate function. Not only can you hurt your career but the person you bring with you is representing you so make sure they know how to behave and do not embarrass you
8) If you have a Tweety Bird tattoo on your back from Spring Break in Cancun 5 years ago, find a way to cover it up so people aren't doing a double take. Trust me, nobody wants to see it

Enjoy your parties!

Thank God We Don't Need to Hunt Our Turkeys Anymore

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:16:00 +0000

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. For those who are cooking for the masses, God bless you. Be sure you take a few minutes to look around at your family and friends, and all you are thankful for this year. I know there is a lot in my life that I have been blessed with although I often look at things as half-empty.

I am lucky that I am only a Thanksgiving "Assistant" for short...a Thanksgiving "Ass". This means that I am the one that makes multiple runs to the grocery store, does the dishes and grabs the serving plates out of the hard-to-reach cabinets, high and low. However, I do not mind being the Ass because for all the years of my life, it allowed me to really look around and realize the work that goes into a holiday where there are 20+ people coming for dinner. There is days of work even though we have the modern convenience of Cuisinart blenders and food processors and high-tech ovens. I can't even begin to imagine the work that would need to go into a holiday back in the early 1900s.

After reflecting on all of this hard work, I can only say - God Bless Women. Over the years you have made every holiday what it is, and have built traditions. For this and many other things, I am truly grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You Have Less Common Sense Than That Snack Bag of Peanuts

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:36:00 +0000

It never fails to amaze me every time I step into the security line at the airport that many people are just plain dumb. For some reason, no matter what time of day or night, when some people walk through the automatic doors of the airport, they leave all common sense behind. I am secure in my stance on this statement because I am not the most savvy of people when it comes to current events. I don't watch the news all that much and read the newspaper on Sundays although many times it is to clip coupons and "ohhh, ahhh" over stuff I will never buy. Sure, I browse the Internet to get the important local and political news but again, I am in no way a news-buff.

So, in saying all that, I have a hard time believing that the business men and women, and vacation travelers I encounter in the airport security line still do not think it is necessary to take off their shoes, throw out their new cup of coffee or leave their bottle of new perfume behind. Are you kidding me? I would say that 75% of the time I am traveling, I witness this argument. HELLOOOOO, DOES THE SHOE BOMBER or 9/11 RING A BELL TO YOU? Not only does it bother me that they are giving the airport security guards a hard time, but they are bothering me because they are holding up the line and have their heads so far up their arse that they did not hear the announcements every 2 minutes over the airport loudspeaker nor did they read the sign they just walked past to get into the security line.

Does the ease of modern technology bring stupidity? I would like to think it is the opposite. We have the world at our fingertips. Literally. We can search on the Internet, call, type and read anything with the click of a button from our blackberry so why is it that we are too busy reading an email to hear an announcement or check what is acceptable on airplanes? This brings me to the conclusion that modern technology may be teaching us to over analyze. I think we now feel that if we do not get an email or call from an airlines before we leave for the airport, the security guidelines must not have changed...even though it is all over the Internet and news. However, now that I think about it, when I get my departure time text messages and reminder...it often states what you can and cannot bring on the plane, so I am clueless once again.

When I was a kid, we used our imagination so much to play house, store or even restaurant. We did role reversals, created complex scenarios and created games to keep ourselves occupied, and to have fun. I believe this has helped my generation to think past emails and use common sense to problem solve and keep up alert. Since it is hard to find a kid now that is more than 5 feet from a video game or computer, how do we teach them common sense? Better yet, how do we teach the security-line warriors common sense?

In some way, I think the smarter we become, the more dumb we get. Is there a way to have the best of both worlds? How can we make people start paying attention to what matters?

We're Not Playing Monopoly, You Can't Just Grab More

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 20:47:00 +0000

Let me start off by saying, Suze Orman is my hero. If you are not familiar with her, you may recognize her from her website. She is a financial wizard and is able to break it down in a way that I understand. Hence the reason I think she is wonderful ;)

Several years ago, I was having issues falling asleep and on Public Television I saw a special where she was talking to a large audience about their finances. This is always a difficult subject matter and I think pure confusion on the topic has lead this country down a road of foreclosures and empty pockets at retirement. Anyway, her motto was "People First, Then Money, Then Things". Basically she is say to protect your family, then your money then assets. It's quite simple when she explains yet all of my life, I got the sweats when I even thought about 401Ks, CDs, savings, Money Market Accounts...you name it. Why are so many women in the dark when it comes to money and financial issues?

I have yet to cross a male in my life that does not have somewhat of an understanding of where his money is invested and why. When I think back, I realize that I never was taught about this in school or by my father. In the past, was it just assumed that it would not be my issue to address? Maybe there are a lot of males in the dark on this topic but just don't express it. I am really not sure, I would like to hope males are not expressing their lack-of-knowledge because that would make me feel better from a female standpoint.

Recently, Suze spoke to an all female audience about debt and finances, and it scared the s**t out of me. There were so many women in the audience who were co-signers on homes and cars, had debt coming out of their ears and basically had no plan for the future or retirement. After hearing their questions and comments I realized I was not the only one in the dark and it triggered me to do something about it. I bought her book "The Young, Fabulous and Broke" and took a long hard look at my money. Although I am married and my husband has his own investments and stocks through work, that was not enough insurance for me. I wanted to have my own. I educated myself on Money Market accounts and now have a series of investments, which I contribute to monthly. Let me tell you, it feels wonderful and since the money is taken out of my bank account at the same time every month, I don't even feel it missing. I also realized that once you're educated, it is not that scary. It is important to ask people, get several opinions, review websites and books but at the end of the day, make your hard earned money work for you and your family.

If you do not have time to read up on this topic now, let me give you the Cliffs Notes from what I learned from Suze-
1) Think about your money - you work hard for it and it should be there when you need it
2) Be smart with credit cards - think long and hard about paying $200 for a $50 pair of shoes after interest. Sometimes things are worth the wait
3) Don't be made to feel guilty about co-signing or loaning people money - I understand your boyfriend may really want that car or your son may want to get this great condo but if you are responsible, that can ruin your life and credit for a long time

I would like to hear about where you learned about investing?
Do you know about investing?
Do you have your own investments for retirement or are they combined with your spouse?
Do you feel it is not important to have a 401K or a zero balance on your credit cards?

Is She Really a Twit?

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:50:00 +0000

We all have this girlfriend, the one who calls you every other week and pours her guts out about her husband/boyfriend...and wants your advice. You then talk her off the ledge, give her great words of advice and wisdom, and she agrees. You hang up the phone and feel good that you helped a friend. You get a call from the same friend later that week and it turns out she did not follow any of your advice and decided to stay in the same bad situation or mismanage her current situation.

What the hell do you do in this situation?

It is hard for me to cut friends off from my opinions and advice but after a certain point, there is no choice. You feel like the person is wasting your time. Is this the right attitude to have?

I guess this irks me because in our hearts, we all know the right answer. If you are in a situation where your husband/boyfriend/lover is abusive, you know, deep down, that you should leave. However I also know that sometimes it means more when you call your friends and hear them state the obvious. That sometimes offers the extra push you need to move forward with what you need to do. But how do we know what is right, hear what is right and then make the same mistakes over and over?

I really would like to believe that a few of my friends that fit this mold are not that stupid but when I continue to get these phone calls related to "what should I do?" I am really ready to lose my mind or temper with them. Is this a natural reaction? Should I be more patient because the obvious is not always that to some people?

Please know that I do not think that I have some special gift for knowing everything, nor am I always right and make the right decisions. I make a lot of mistakes and sometimes fall into the same traps but I am happy to say that when I make a mistake, I try to learn from it so it does not happen again. I also think twice before calling a girlfriend and pouring out my heart about the same issue 5 times a month.

How do you deal with the friend in your life that asks for too much advice without ever following it?

I Don't Want to Change...I Like Who I Am!

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:11:00 +0000

Ok I get it...years ago, women changed their last names to match their husband's so that on paper they were "joined" not to mention their children will have the same last name as them. By the wife taking her husband's last name, it appears that she is now a part of him and the single woman was left at the back of the chapel. Does changing your name mean the same thing now?

The question is, why do many women still change their last name? I was married almost two years ago and after long debate and a weaning-off-period, I decided to change my last name. In the business world, I use both last names. The reason I changed my last name was because I got sucked into the "children" vacuum and thought that one day down the road, I want my last name to match my children's. Maybe part of me thought that when I do have children, I wouldn't want anyone to mistake me for having a "bastard", another part of me thought that so many morals are going out the window that what is the harm in holding on to a family and long-standing tradition. Not sure what really made up my mind. What I am sure of is the fact that it was a PITA (pain in the arse) to go through the paperwork to change my name on everything - bank statements, credit cards, car, driver's license, business cards, etc. My name was on a lot of things and as I had already started the process, I was a bit scared. With each line I waited in to change my name, I was chipping away a little piece of what I had built - my name. With my name came a college diploma and a key to the working world where I built a great career and a name for myself.

So here is my question to you - do women who change their name show strength or weakness?

My husband is my lover and best friend. He supports my dreams and aspirations, inspires me to climb any ladder I so choose. I think my changing my name, I demonstrated strength because I was able to integrate my old self into my married self and build a new, stronger identity. I realized that even thought I built a name for myself in this world, there was a lot of bad and naivety that came along with it that I wanted to shake too. My new name, the married version of myself is confident, stable and strong. I am proud of the married woman that I am and my name although it was more of an adjustment that I expected.

I'd like to hear why you did or didn't change your name and what was your rationale.

Jenna Jameson - Business Woman or Slut?

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 18:13:00 +0000

Recently I noticed that Jenna Jameson's face has been plastered all over the web and on TV. She was on LA Ink and MTV's Cribs in the last 6 weeks (give me a break, I like to relax while watching mindless TV) and let me tell you, she has a lot to write home about. Her house, jewelry and clothing were amazing. Since I am not a fan of porn I never realized how much she was actually earning from her website and "movies". From what I learned, she manages all of her own finances, operates her websites, owns a production company and started a clothing line. Not bad for starting in amateur porn.

I find myself both intrigued and disgusted by her all at the same time. I envy her shit-kicker attitude and drive yet am disgusted because she is in the porn industry and is exploiting women. And, I often feel guilty for liking her business sense. I feel like she has broken through the glass ceiling yet the shards of glass are cutting my skin. Does that make any sense?

It is quite possible that I am super hard on her (in my mind) because she is a woman. Maybe I am catering to the double standard. I do not really hate Ron Jeremy...but I really don't think of him much either. Who is another example...let me think...President Clinton. I thought he was a great president and when I look back on his presidency now that Hilarie is in the spotlight, I really do not think about the whole Monica Lewinsky thing. So why can I not look past the dark side of successful women?

Ok, I would like to hear your thoughts on this topic. Are you too hard on women? Are you an equal opportunity hater? Do you tend to favor men? What are your thoughts on women who find success in shady places?

Stay-at-Home or Enjoy your Home?

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:28:00 +0000

I like to dabble in "touchy" subjects every now and again because I think they spark great debates. The most common debate I encounter between women in my age group and those of the older generation is - is it better to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?

The reason I titled this post "stay-at-home or enjoy your home" is because I do not believe both can be true. If you choose to be a stay-at-home mom and quit the working world after you have children - as my mother did - I believe that you grow to hate being at home and resent that you do not have much life outside of your children. This is not a theory, this is what I see in every one of my friends that chose this route. However, recently I discovered on MySpace, the story of Kaleb who was a victim of Shaken Baby Syndrome. This and only this made me ponder if returning to work after children is the right thing to do. Are those parents kicking themselves for leaving him with a sitter? Probably. Would I be? Of course.

Up until recently, I always believed that it is better to spend five enjoyable hours a day with your kids than 24 miserable ones. The thing that I am left to wonder about, is, are the 19 hours away from him/her going to provide them with what you could as a mother? In my younger days, I often dog-sat for multiple coworkers to make an extra couple of dollars. As I get older, I realize that I never really treated their dogs like I would treat my own. I was never mean or cruel at all...they just weren't my dogs. I had a hard time cuddling with them. Pardon the comparison but is this the same for children and caretakers?

As I entered high school and college, I really resented the fact that my mother could not answer my questions on the working world nor could she relate (refer to the "Does Anyone Care" post). I do not want the same experiences for my children but I also want to make sure they are with the best, most gentle caretaker I can find but how are you ever really sure about that from just references and an interview?

Another issue I have with mothers that stay home is that I feel the dynamic in their marriage shifts the day they quit their job. From that point forward, they are never an equal. They are someone living off another person regardless of the important work they are doing for the home and family. Will this ever change? Am I wrong about this perception?

I do not have any children yet but I am sure that when I do, I will take a look at this post and not know what the hell I was thinking at the time.

I would like to hear your thoughts and opinions on the benefits of working in and out of the home.

{Insert Eyeroll} Here Comes the Crybaby

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:40:00 +0000

We have to admit that we all know one, or maybe even we are one...or have been one now and again. I am talking about that woman in the office that cries at the drop of a dime. Personally, I cannot stand tears in business and I feel it pushes women back when it happens. Are emotional women unable to control the waterworks at all? Is this a medical condition?

Please don't get me wrong, there have been times - AT HOME - when I have cried because of stress, or a mistake I made, or a colleague that is laying into me, but I have never brought such emotions to the office. By the morning these emotions often pass and I don't even feel a need to cry anymore.

As strong, working women, is it our place to take the crybabies aside and let them know they are harming their career by being too emotional? Are they hurting their careers? I can't help but feel every time a male comes face to face with a woman in the office that is upset over work, there is an internal or outright eye roll. Maybe I am making this up but I swear I get the vibe of "here we go again...if you can't handle this business, maybe you should get out".

I would like to hear your thoughts on this topic, maybe I am overreacting.

No Fun in Sex Anymore

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:08:00 +0000

Over the years I am noticing that there is no fun in babymaking anymore, for many couples. My mom is one of 8 and my dad is one of 5...it appears that everyone was popping out multiple kids if they even looked at their spouse.

Nowadays, I hear so many horrror stories from couples who have been trying for months and years for one baby of their own. It seems that everyone is on fertility drugs and for some of them, there is still only a small reason for hope. What has changed in our society from that of long ago? Is it stress that is preventing us from conceiving? Is it the millions of electrical currents that are flying through the air that power our computers, cellphones, blackberries, etc? Could it be that we are just to busy to have sex now since we are working longer hours, taking on more family and friend obligations and pass out when we hit the bed? I would be interested to know if anyone is in medical field that can shed some light on this issue. I'm sure there has been multiple case studies and scientific findings that I just have not found yet.

To tell you the truth, it is scary. My husband and I have not tried to conceive yet but I am worried it may take a year or more. I read all of the articles on how to increase your chances for conception but there are so many couples now that have tried it all with no luck. A friend of a friend of mine is headed toward in-vitro for $20K in hope of starting a family.

Any thoughts (scientific or personal feelings) on this topic?

Purse or European Carry-All (Man Purse)?

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 23:28:00 +0000

For all you working women out there, let's talk about who manages the finances in your home.

In my household, there is one joint checking account which is used to pay the bills, one savings account and then we each have our own checking account that we manage. Basically my husband gives me money to pay the bills and it is paid from our joint account yet for some reason I need to hold on to my own money, in a separate account. The thought of combining everything stares me. I trust my husband but for some reason I need to see that I have something. I have money as an "I" and not a "We".

Is this method crazy?

I know women who combine everything once married and those who operate like we do. I say if our method is working...don't break it but I am curious to know if it was easy or hard for women to combine? Who's idea was it?

People still use the "N" word?

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:47:00 +0000

I really can't believe that it is the year 2007 yet there are still walking, breathing racists among us. Sure, there are the morons who still walk around and honestly believe in "white power" but I blame that on lack of teeth and brain cells. I guess what I should say is that every now and again, I still manage to stumble upon someone who is an outward racist. Words, phrases and all. I am always quick to make a comment in return so they know I do not think that way nor do I tolerate those thoughts or language in my presence but again, it does not fail to baffle me.

I ask the question...are there racist members of your immediate or extended family? Coworkers? Local watering hole? How do you put the ki-bosh on their comments without stooping to their level and get into an all out screaming match?

Here is another question...have you ever stumbled upon a degrading/racist conversation where you were the race/religion they were speaking of? How did you handle that?

I cannot even begin to say I know how it feels to at the end of a racist comment...or have a racist comment directed at me, however, I grew up in the poor part of town and it has its stereotypes. When I was growing up, I never really met people from outside my little neighborhood so I didn't know these stereotypes were there until I entered the working world. Usually over drinks after work, there was always a comment or two that came up about people from my part of town. Since I was so new to the working world, I did not know how to take these comments. People where I grew up were thought of as stupid, racist, meatheads for lack of a better term.
In fact, it really made me look at where I grew up and not want to be like the rest of the people I knew. When I was able to step out of the world I knew and look in, I did not like what I saw and again, I was nothing like the people I grew up with. I wanted a lot out of life and I hold myself to that everyday. And let's face it, every woman has been at the tale end of an awkward look or comment in the working world, mechanics, real estate realm. It really does suck so why does it continue on with others?

Anywho, back to the matter of racists. I go off on tangents sometimes...you'll have to excuse me.

I just read today that Dog the Bounty Hunter was taped saying the "N" word by his own son. It hit me like a ton of bricks again, as it always does. How do people still use that word? How do people even think like that? The best is that he went on TV and said that he is so close to black people that he felt he could use that word but he realizes he is "not black". WTF?!? What kind of cock-a-may-me s**t is that?

Well, that's about all I have to say on this subject. The human race often does not impress me, in fact it disappoints me. Will this be the same for my children when they are my age? Is there hope in the world?

What to do with a Cheater

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:33:00 +0000

I've watched the show "Cheaters" on multiple occasions but I am happy to say that I never experienced a friend of mine come to me and say their spouse is cheating...until today. She high-jacked the cell phone bill and realized the call at 1AM from his "mom" was not from his mom at all. She confronted, a story was made up about it being a long lost friend and nothing more.

So now what? Is there life after cheating? Is there ever trust after cheating?

It is easy to sit back and give a laundry list of things you would do in the situation if that was your spouse...but would you? Would you confront it or would you (do you) choose to look the other way?

Thoughts?

To Birth or Not To Birth...

noreply@blogger.com (The Working Woman) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:31:00 +0000

Can someone please answer me one question...When The Hell is a Good Time to Pop A Kid Out? So far my career is in a good place, I have a supportive husband and family but I am scared to death about lugging a kid around. Is it really that bad? Is it true that "it's different when it's your own"?

I have witnessed the strongest and most independent women turn to mush when they get pregnant and have babies. Is this going to be me?

I would like to hear from you about when you knew it was the right time. If you had a "surprise", is it true you would not change it for the world? Give me some food for thought. Lay it on me.

Danke.