tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:36:07 +0000queerweatherenvironmentalpiratesdadmy 2 centpet peevesmovieshippiesmedical examinerdeathshoppingcomicfunny conversationsveganmusiccashmoneyblingschoolwtfnerdserious_businessfashionforensicsfiction draftleisurenellytraveldreamsrelationships_and_boningfoodholidaysdiograndparentscelebritiesfamilyloliticsgenderpetsmombeautymyspacehealthworkletter_to_jesusneighborsYour opinion is wrong.http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Pagne)Blogger286125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-8031052120210515060Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:24:00 +00002011-09-24T11:24:30.405-07:00 It's often said that things happen for a reason. I often say that is stupid. Today, however, I feel as though the forces of the universe had a plan for me. I went with Chanel and Jesse to Skateland after work and immediately regreted it. Pre-immediately, in fact. Like, before we even got there. I've had a mysterioius, meandering illness for nigh on three weeks that's left me with mild, http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2011/09/when-stardates-align.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-8795221884857100587Tue, 06 Apr 2010 02:38:00 +00002010-04-13T21:01:38.927-07:00my 2 centhealthAbout 3 weeks ago I came down with a nasty upper-respiratory infection. I had mucus coming out of me like nothing I'd ever experienced. Tissue after tissue, blow after blow. It just. Kept. Coming. So my aunt suggested I get a Neti-Pot. I'd heard good things about them before and my aunt is a nurse so I figured she'd know about these things. The idea of using one of these is kind of scary. When Ihttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2010/04/adventures-in-nasal-washing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-1500709114443987779Sat, 30 May 2009 21:51:00 +00002009-05-30T15:07:34.731-07:00leisureIt was pretty hot out this afternoon and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to forgo my blowdryer after my noon o'clock shower and go lay in the grass under a tree for a few minutes. I got about three minutes in when I heard the dreaded *clickclick*SHHHHH* of the sprinker system. I grabbed my towel and shoes and ran through the grass shrieking like a girl, then turned around and shook my fisthttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/05/sprinkled.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-287132393934038854Wed, 27 May 2009 23:45:00 +00002009-05-27T17:00:41.032-07:00travelpetsHello! I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I spent my Memorial Day in southern California with my sister, relaxing at the beach and catching up with some friends. Chanel didn’t want to leave Menudo at home since she is taking several medications right now and since she’s getting on in years we decided this would be a good chance to take her on a little retirement vacation. We stayed at http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/05/vacation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-7366860230163633850Sat, 16 May 2009 22:10:00 +00002009-05-16T15:24:54.670-07:00serious_businessmomfamilywtfAfter an incident with my mother today that left me stranded on the side of Scottsdale road at 2pm in 105 degree heat, my mom wanted to express her feelings to me through the medium of angry text messages. I bring them directly to you:u dre mot stranded u jumped out of the car bcuz i asked u 2 get over ur isrues wher iwith me. That is wat hagened that is the truth! This txt was from a bystander!http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/05/dear-old-mom.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3809544033203912609Sat, 16 May 2009 18:56:00 +00002009-05-16T11:57:56.029-07:00serious_businessworkI'm almost afraid to talk about it because I don't want to jinx myself. But I'm just so excited because it's like this job was created just for me.Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers/blood sacrifices for the next few weeks because I'm very much in need of some good luck.http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-applied-for-what-might-possibly-be.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3845132129986439013Fri, 08 May 2009 03:37:00 +00002009-05-07T20:49:49.915-07:00workweatherI should really be getting ready for bed right now, but I feel guilty about neglecting my blog for so long. On April 1st I was packing up for a brief trip to Ft. Worth when I discovered that my laptop wouldn't turn on. Fortunately I had purchased the extended warranty from Best Buy, so my mom offered to drop it off for me while I was out of town. What should have been a weekend repair job turned http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/05/hello-world.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-6222554886078491033Thu, 26 Mar 2009 04:19:00 +00002009-03-25T21:21:24.962-07:00Details here. http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/03/betheaudition.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-6741220265068798268Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:17:00 +00002009-03-23T20:27:46.848-07:00workcashmoneyblingHello, Internet! Just dropping by to let you know I have not died. Not insofar as I can tell, at any rate. I've been working a lot lately and saving up money for an investment.I'm not ready to blog about this investment yet but I'll give you a few examples of what it's not just for fun:potan Easy Bake Ovena human skeleton (or any portion thereof)fancy hatsAs you may know, I have no internet at http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/03/hello-internet-just-dropping-by-to-let.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-1595034173315772767Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:46:00 +00002009-03-07T17:47:01.972-07:00myspaceLately I keep seeing a banner ad for Interracial Dating on myspace... And I was wondering how it KNOWS. I don't think it's mentioned anywhere in my profile "Interests: vegetarian cooking, bicycling, black cock". And yet somehow...http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/03/myspace-knows-i-have-jungle-fever.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-5601039757647380894Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:19:00 +00002009-03-01T15:25:29.731-07:00my 2 centI went to the annual Renaissance Festival yesterday and didn't get many pictures because the day went kind of poorly. The AZ RenFest is so bad it's good- as long as you're with fun people. Which we were not, so it lost a bit of it's magic this year.We got stuck in traffic for 2 hours as the freeway was closed half the way there. When we got there, our coworker lost the stub of his ticket and was http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-2-cent-arizona-renaissance-festival.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-4752531047654125519Sun, 01 Mar 2009 06:19:00 +00002009-02-28T23:39:28.019-07:00I don't like talking about myself enough to do memes. But here are as many things as I can think of that are moderately interesting.-I have a faulty tear duct. My left eye always waters just a little bit and I can also blow air or water out of it.-Around 1989, my next-door neighbors won the Ghostmobile from the movie Ghostbusters II and let me and my sister play in it.-I've met Mike Patton four http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/02/some-things.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3589784141377432461Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:27:00 +00002009-02-17T19:39:26.862-07:00environmentalcelebritiesI don't have a microwave, due to an unfortunate incident over the summer. Since I am both cheap and lazy, I have been using the oven to reheat my few leftovers. I went to reheat my two slices of pizza I am one of those freaks who believes that pizza is NOT, in fact, just as good cold. And it occurred to me that it would be a retarded waste of electricity to heat the entire oven to 400 degrees forhttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-accidentally-did-something-green.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-893193907497110158Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:06:00 +00002009-02-17T19:06:59.748-07:00serious_businessletter_to_jesusDear Mr. Christ,Despite some research, I’ve been unable to come to a conclusion on the following problem. I’ve heard of your work and thought perhaps you could give me your professional opinion: What is the morally correct way to let someone know he or she has bad breath?I can be contacted via phone, US Mail, or burning bush.Thank you for your time,Pagnehttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/02/letter-to-jesus.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-7613481630912085791Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:59:00 +00002009-02-15T14:05:19.260-07:00momfamilyholidaysOne time my mom did a porn to save Christmas. It was when I was living in California and I came out to Phoenix to visit for the holidays. My mom told me before I came out "Well we won't have any presents this year" because we were really poor. But when I arrived my mom was very excited and said "Champagne, I saved Christmas! I made $3500 in three hours." I asked "Um, how did you do that, mommy?"http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/02/holiday-cheer.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-4361955900573759179Sun, 08 Feb 2009 03:18:00 +00002009-02-07T20:26:22.159-07:00dioToday I have come out of the Dark Ages and got myself some internet at home for the first time in four months. I had planned on spending the whole day online catching up on all the exciting blogs and memes I've been missing out on but alas, the Cox service technician who set up my internet was apparently running for Retard of the Year and left my house after 2 hours without connecting me to the http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2009/02/internets-i-has-dem.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-459408680583636782Sat, 22 Nov 2008 21:33:00 +00002008-11-22T14:34:42.324-07:00workrelationships_and_boningpetscashmoneyblingUpdate in my pants.I think I have about 90 seconds before the library wifi cuts out on me again so here is a quick update on my life with no explanations:-I have no internet at home-My work internet has been blocked. All of it. Even on breaks.-I dislike my job, but it's still better than Kohl's.-My sister's dog (my ex dog) may be dying, but we're cautiously hopeful she won't.-I still fail at http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/11/update-in-my-pants.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-7250176769502445237Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:26:00 +00002008-09-23T11:26:40.810-07:00dreamsI had a dream about a hotel/brothel where all the employees were whorebots. I was there investigating a prostibot murder that ocurred in a room that was entirely glass and they were strung up like christmas lights. So they were more like Cylons than Johnny 5. Which is good if you're in the whorebot business.http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/09/prostibots.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-938944540034391173Fri, 19 Sep 2008 18:51:00 +00002008-09-19T11:51:34.424-07:00dreamsI had a weird dream last night. I can't remember it all but I know it was bad and scary, but I didn't feel upset when I woke up. Usually when I rememebr my dreams they seem very real so I wake up affected by them. Maybe it's because I didn't remember it until a little while after I woke up.Anyhoo, have you ever seen Dexter? I was watching that before bed, so that explains some of it. I dreamed http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/09/needles.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-5673785945974146340Wed, 17 Sep 2008 02:50:00 +00002008-09-16T19:50:30.797-07:00What kind of spazz smokes pot and then re-arranges the furniture? This kind of spazz. After work today I smoked a bowl and made gazpacho. It had to chill for several hours while all the flavors mingled and got to know each other. So I laid out my yoga mat with the intention of doing some light stretching, when I decided I needed relaxing yoga music. So I went to get my iPod and realized that ithttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/09/salmon-are-spawning-in-my-logic-stream.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3420243912973988855Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:27:00 +00002008-09-02T23:28:28.767-07:00veganmusicrelationships_and_boningfoodIt occurred to me that I've been writing weird, esoteric shit on my blog the last couple weeks. Despite the appearances, I have been in a peachy mood. In the last week I have finished a book and started a new book. A friend of mine is teaching me how to play the banjo! I'm going to purchase one as soon as I get paid. I got a new job. It's nothing exciting, just data entry. But it pays twice as http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/09/book-banjo-salary-story-date-and.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-2951085711898116494Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:55:00 +00002008-08-31T17:28:52.997-07:00fiction draftEveryone has a moment when they stop and wonder how the fuck did I get here. For Tammy, that moment of clarity struck as she was one her knees in a truckstop john with a mouthful of cock. It looked and tasted like old cheese. Accompanied by the repetitive *fwapfwap* of his hairy gut slapping her in the forehead.Everything was sticky and wet from the floor to his balls. It all reeked of piss. http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/08/truckstop.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3276093110501043000Sat, 23 Aug 2008 03:01:00 +00002008-08-22T20:03:50.880-07:00dadfamilyHe's been gone nine years and I still remember my dad's birthday. He would have been 54 today.http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/08/dads-birthday.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3316555947648863352Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:32:00 +00002008-08-19T16:33:18.230-07:00momfamilywtfpetsIt was 2000 and we had a six month old chihuahua. One morning I went downstairs and found her gnawing on something. Upon further inspection I saw that it was a small plastic baggie filled with mysterious white powder. First thing's first: PANIC.I examined the bag and though it had tiny indents all over it from Menudo's baby teeth, she didn't appear to have penetrated the bag. I washed her mouth http://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/08/time-dog-got-into-moms-coke.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15424430.post-3492597266696859158Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:22:00 +00002009-02-17T19:30:24.254-07:00genderloliticswtfcashmoneyblingI got a small envelope forwarded today from my old address. Despite the ambiguous return address, I knew it was an ad without opening it because it was addressed to Mr. & Ms. Pagne. The only people I get mail from are bill collectors and people trying to sell me shit. And bill collectors know there is no Mr. Pagne. Usually I disregard the latter, telling myself "Well I don't know who Mr. Pagne ishttp://hoojibb.blogspot.com/2008/08/checking-male.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Pagne)0