The World Of Jayequeue

Unexpected

2011-09-12T16:51:00.000-04:00

As I'm sitting here at my breakfast bar on my laptop working from home, I hear the rain coming again. They've been redoing our parking lot these past couple weeks & just finished the black-top. I imagine the individual parking spot lines are next but, I can't help but wonder: with South Florida weather (iow: intermittent rain) ... How do they get anything done down here? Do they get annoyed with the constant interuptions or simply enjoy another unexpected break?

A Blessing

2011-03-09T01:21:00.000-05:00

If we could take a fresh unsharpened #2 pencil, erase our past & start over .. would we be the people we wish we could be or would we just be remnants of the person we once were?

We all have things we regret / skeletons in our closets, if you will; but washing them away or tossing a bottle of Clorox bleach into our closets & scrubbing the floors until our hands are red … will not change who we are today.

We cannot cover up nor ignore the past. We cannot move forward as though the past didn’t happen either or else we’d be walking in place … or worse … backward. Where then goes the progress we’ve made but as left-over – erased on the chalkboard only to be written over w/someone else’s words? Ours … lost.

The future includes our past. Although, it is not obvious, it is still much like a piece of luggage dragged behind at the airport making that klunk, klunk, sound as we walk; regardless of whether we acknowledge it or not; no matter how evident or intangible – it is what made us who we are. Should we embrace it & hold it close or try with all of our might to put our present lives on hold & continue with everything we have inside to stop that sound that can never truly be stopped?

Look back at your childhood; the laughs, the tears – your adolescence, adulthood; your loves, your losses, your children, friends, brothers, sisters - family & so on. Your life changed because of them & theirs because of you. Change happens for better, for worse, for growth, for a number of reasons untold to us & it will continue throughout your life.

Every single instance in your life happened to make you who you are today & it will continue to happen, to help you develop into who you WILL be in the future. Sounds crazy huh? Almost unreasonable? Beyond your control? Look back again & reflect on those times when you cried, when you laughed uncontrollably & couldn’t force yourself to stop smiling no matter how hard you tried. Sounds to me like a blessing J

Busy Little Bee!

2010-10-18T18:34:00.001-04:00

Forgive my absence - I have been here - just not *here* per-se.

I can see that a few changes have been made to the Blogger-world while I've been neglecting it. Excuse me while I brush the dust aside & answer a few questions that may be on your mind ...

What's going on that I've been so busy?
Well, for starters - work, work, work & looking for work! Quite a few side projects were built & are underway & an anticipated return to school to complete my Bachelor's in Graphic Design is also in the works.

What kind of side-projects have I been working on?

For the most part: building web-sites, creating & maintaining social networking/marketing & creating graphic design for them. I've also created a few logos for my brother-in-law.

Am I still doing the running program or yoga?
No. I wish I were - I really do however, covering the business 13 hours a day/7 days a week, working on side projects, working on cleaning up my credit & enrolling in school - are all incredibly demanding on my time. That is in no way, shape or form a valid excuse for not exercising! I plan to get back to exercising regularly & updating my blog will in part hold me accountable for such.

So then, does that mean I will be updating my blog regularly?
Yes! My plan for now is to commit to updating it on a weekly basis & as my life slows down or at least becomes less stressful, I will increase that.

And, as a shameless plug: Click here to see & shop at one of the websites I've created :-)

Into Week 4 of the RW Beginner's Program

2010-01-27T23:14:00.008-05:00

So, today marked Week 4/Day 3 of the beginner running program I'm doing. There's a link to it below (in my ranting post-lol) but just in case you want to check it out I've added the link above as well (just click on the title of my blog-post) :-)

Also, as I wrote in my previous (ranting) post - I did take to the open road for today's run. I noticed an immediate difference even just during my warm-up walking! Having dabbled with running in the past I knew there was a difference (at least to me) between treadmill running (TM) & pounding the pavement (PTP) but ... it's been a while.

Today I had to not only make up my run/walk but also my 30 minute walk from yesterday so as I've done before - I just tack on 15 minutes of walking before the walk/run & 15 minutes after. Although, it sucks that I'm missing days here & there & re-arranging my schedule to compensate for it .. it's actually quite nice because then I get a nice long warm-up & cool-down!

Ok, so back to how it went. The first thing I noticed was that my ankles were getting sore, then my back started getting achy. I thought to myself, no biggie - you expected this to be different (especially after 3 weeks of TM running), so I continued putting one foot in front of the other & after my nice long warm-up I proceeded to take to running.

Now, as I explained (or complained-however you want to read it-lol) in my previous post I've been struggling with keeping to my schedule. Today, per the schedule, was to be my Run 9/Walk 1-3x's. I missed Monday's Run 8/Walk so I had tossed it around in my head about whether or not to stick to the schedule or to do Monday's run. Technically, rather than jumping from a Run 6/Walk to a Run 8/Walk, I'd be jumping to a Run 9/Walk (3 more minutes running - which I did). I decided that I would push myself, yet be conscious of my body at the same time so that if I felt as though it was too much - I could cut my run cycle short by a minute & do the Run 8 instead.

I ended up pulling off the Run 9/Walk though! It was HARD - no kidding, & I ended up walking 2 minutes between runs instead of 1 & for the last cycle - I walked 3 minutes prior to the final 9 minute run.

It's funny though, because I'm so used to knowing how fast I'm going (thanks to the TM), I kept thinking to myself - how fast am I running? Am I even running? Am I just jogging? Are my feet even moving? That then progressed on to: Ok, getting a cramp so I'm definitely not just walking .... Ouch, that cramp hurts ... Be tough, you want to be a runner right? Runner's deal with pain-deal with it! Ok, breath .. keep running .... it's going away ... I can do this!! God, I must look funny to people driving by ...

Needless to say, as I said - I pulled it off & really enjoyed my 15 minute cool-down! The sense of accomplishment I feel each time is more than enough to keep my doing it. The great thing is that since I knew the mileage for the road I was on - I know that I did at least 4 miles today! The most I've done yet. Now, granted that includes walking but it shows me that I wasn't running as slow as I thought I was! It also serves as a reminder that my focus needn't be on speed but on completing my runs.

All in all - today was a great day. A HARD-ASS-run definitely, but a successful run & that is worth it every time!

Oh, two more things:

1. I'm tracking my running/walking progress so if you scroll down to the bottom of my blog, you can see what I've done so far this year. Thanks to today - I broke 30 this month! Once I complete the Beginner's Program I will only be tracking running (of course). &

2. Since I started I've been using my spreadsheet/schedule to put notes about each days running & today I looked back at my week 1 & week 2 notes. It was so neat to see how I've progressed! I had a hard time going from Run 1/Walk 2 to Run 2/Walk 1 & now (of course) it'd be a breeze to just Run 2/Walk 1! I found it to be very inspiring :-)

Fitting my exercise schedule into my day is proving to be not quite so easy ...

2010-01-27T15:54:00.002-05:00

As I posted previously, I devised an exercise schedule to hold myself accountable so that I'm more apt to continue on the path towards being healthy ...

Well, it's proven to be quite difficult to stick to. I find that I'm more often tweaking the schedule & making up missed days on other days than I am actually sticking to "said" schedule. It's frustrating because I created the schedule to make life easier, but instead it's making it more cumbersome (& as I said frustrating) when I have to continuously alter it.

Why am I having difficulty sticking to the schedule, you ask?

My weekly schedule basically consists of 6 days of cardio (The Runner's World 8-Week Beginning Runner's Training Program) along with 3 days which yoga is also added in. That only takes up about 30-60min/day to accomplish depending on the day. Not so bad right? Wrong.

I am helping my boyfriend with his company & our schedule is such that I have every other day "off". On my scheduled days I put in 12-13 hours straight. On my "off" days I need to be available to help out as well so ... it's near impossible to get my running in half the time (yoga I can do in the office while working).

I feel like I'm making excuses which is partly why I'm writing this blog post (to put my thoughts into words; if even for just myself to read & work through). He & I talked about fitting exercise into our schedules & agreed that we would happily cover for the other should one of us need to exercise on an "on" day. On occasion, I've asked him to do so for me but I feel like I'm being selfish because he never asks me to do so for him, nor does he typically take me up on the offer when I offer to do so for him (ok that's super wordy ..).

So I ask myself ... Self?

Am I just being foolish?
Should I feel like I'm being selfish about this?
Am I really asking myself if I think I'm being selfish about something as important as my health & general well-being?
Why should I feel selfish about doing something that's good for me just because he's not?
(NR: I totally just sneezed on my laptop screen.)
Is it bothering me more because he's not doing the same?
Am I over-analyzing this?
Why is the sky blue? LoL ...

Ok, time for a brief break. I'll come back to this. Time to grab a cup of coffee. I need to get off my butt & go run too. I need to go early in the day so I'm available to help out later. I'm so stressed out - I can't even go run without wondering if it's really a "good time" to do it. What if he gets super busy & I'm not here to help & he gets all stressed out?

Right, I just remembered - that's why I run - to de-stress. Ok, time for me to get changed & get outside. I've been hitting the treadmill since I started this schedule/program - but today - it's gorgeous out & I'm hitting the pavement. I can't wait to feel the breeze & the sun on my face ... putting one foot in front of the other ... just me & the world God gave us ... doing what we were all built to do ... live life & love that we were given the freedom (the blessing) to do just that.

Want to add a nifty signature to your blog posts?

2010-01-26T19:16:00.013-05:00

I stumbled upon this today & thought - I just have to share!! Here's how mine looks.

If you'd like to get one for your blog or website simply go to: My Live Signature & create your own. They offer a 100+ different fonts, as well as sizes and slopes to choose from. You can even customize the color & background to compliment your blog or website design (like I did).

They do offer instructions on how to use the signature in blogger, but they appear to be outdated so I'll help you out:

Once you've copied the HTML, sign into your blogger account.
From your dashboard click "Settings" then "Formatting".
Scroll down to "Post Template" & paste the HTML code.

Note: You can delete the "read more ... " portion that gets pasted - that's not part of the code. Once you've pasted the code just save your changes & you're golden! The next time you add a post you'll notice your signature already in the window. You'll just have to type above it so it displays at the bottom of your post.

Enjoy!

Rhino Spray & the Joys of Allergies ...

2010-01-15T12:12:00.003-05:00

Well apparently I will be taking nose spray (aka rhino spray) for the rest of my God-for-Saking life (no offense to the big G). I was prescribed it (along with Allegra) for my allergies, abundance of ear fluid & constant post nasal drip (sexy, I know). The nurse practitioner that gave me the prescription asked that I truly give the rhino spray a shot & really commit to it & I gave her my word I would, even though I hate the feeling of spraying anything up my nose-ughk! She said that given enough time, it would help reduce the amount of fluid in my ears & the post nasal drip. I should point out here that when she looked in my ears, she was actually shocked at the amount of fluid in them! She then looked in my throat & said "Yup, post nasal drip" (not that she needed confirmation after seeing my ears). Anyway, I have to admit I was hoping it wouldn't work so I didn't refill it along with my Allegra last week. I also thought I had more left over in the bottle than I did.

At some point last week I had a conversation with my boyfriend about whether or not the medications were helping. I said something to the effect of "I think so" & proceeded to tell him that I was hoping it was the Allegra that was helping not the rhino spray. I believe he then just looked at me like I was nuts (he does that a lot).

The night before last I realized I'd pretty much used up all of said spray so last night I went without (obviously). I didn't think too much of it & went to bed as normal. I woke up at about 3 o'clock in the am with my ears draining, a stuffy & runny nose (yes, that's possible) & this nasty taste in my mouth, complimented with a lovely amount of phlegm/mucus which, of course irritated my throat thus causing me to have a sneezing fit. Needless to say, I immediately thought: Shit, the nose spray was working!

What's funny is that I had completely overlooked the fact that I wasn't waking up with that awfulness when I was taking the nose spray. I knew I was sleeping better & that my ears weren't draining nearly as much but that's about it.

Needless to say, I promptly jumped online to have my script refilled & will be picking it up today.

I also need to pick up some brown hair color (my highlights were growing out & driving me nuts so I attempted to go blonde & it's more strawberry blonde - no likey!), finish my laundry, vacuum*, & get my run on. I've actually already put in 15 miles since the beginning of the year! I'm tracking my miles via the little tracker-thing-a-mabobber at the bottom of my blog.

Oh & I had a really vivid dream this morning right before waking up. Yes, my sleeping patterns are still all f'd up even though I sleep sooooo much better since putting my allergies in check & exercising regularly. Ok, so - it involved my mom, our old house, ghosts, skeleton keys, enormous spider webs & a black widow spider. Don't worry, no-one was hurt (well, except the black widow).

* I swear, I will never in my life be able to properly spell the word vacuum. Thank you my dearest spell checker, than you!

"The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed"

2010-01-13T13:53:00.006-05:00

The weather is starting to warm up, my blog layout is pretty much finished, running totally kicked my ass the other day & today is my day off. What do I plan to do on my day off you ask (or you would if you were reading this & of course you are because my blog is just so incredibly-super-interesting, so who could resist reading it really?)?

First, more coffee.
Second, a nice long shower.
Third, the gym.
Fourth, ok - I didn't actually get that far yet, I do need to run out & get some milk though (exciting - I know!) ...

I am excited to get to the gym though. I took yesterday off to rest so today I'll be walking a good 1/2 hour prior to running. I'm really going to focus on my form because I've been doing some reading & I think I'm a major heel striker. It's a bit controversial - some say it can/may cause injury & some insist that's absolutely untrue. Additionally, I'm a sloppy runner so I'll be concentrating on maintaining not-so sloppy (lol) form as well. I also plan to start out running a tad slower than I have been so I don't bonk 1/2 way through. I had a hard time getting through my last run & I'm almost positive it was due to my running speed.

Oh & the saying that's the title of this post kept me going during that run so I wanted to share it. It's an old Chinese saying (I'm not sure of the author) that I find to be simply amazing. I found it to be such even prior to running & more so when I was fighting a mental/physical battle running & it rang as completely true. I hope you like it too.

If anyone has any other quotes they'd like to share - please do!

Brrrrrrrrrrrr!

2010-01-09T12:42:00.001-05:00

After a brief break from the cold weather in South Florida (yes, I used the words SOUTH FLORIDA & cold weather in the same sentence), it has once again reared it's ugly head. In some areas (slightly north of here) there were actually reports of freezing rain & flurries. This is something I haven't seen in my 2+ years down here & it's a first for SoFlo as well. Record breaking low temperatures in fact!

You see folks, in Florida, going outside & being able to see your breath is not something that occurs very often (ok, not at all), however this morning, low & behold, as I stepped out onto my terrace, I saw my breath. This made me think 2 things:

Ok, I'm not being a sissy. It IS flipping cold out! &
OMG, it could actually snow (I didn't look at the weather reports of said snow until after these thoughts, but I'm from CT so I know the tell-tale signs).

This is by far the strangest winter down here. I feel so bad for the northerners that came down for Christmas or just a vacation from the cold, only to find themselves ... well, in the cold.

I can't help but ask ...

Mother Nature?

If you're reading my blog (which I'm totally sure you are, because anyone who's anyone reads my blog) ... Could you please bring back the warm temperatures? Or at least give us one good, true snow so we feel like it was worth it? I mean, what are cold temperatures good for unless they produce some type of frozen precipitation? A little help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Oh, & please don't let this kill the flowers.

Still Working on Updating ...

2010-01-08T00:13:00.001-05:00

Wow, I picked out one template & then found some really nice backgrounds & voila ... started searching more & found more & more. Unfortunately, one can completely zone out while sitting at their computer trying to find the "perfect" layout for one's blog & I have been doing just that. I did have a lot of fun tweaking my header picture & I'm very happy with how it came out.

I did end up finding one that I really like (the one you're seeing now) however, it has tons of options so I'm still working on changing it to be just how I want it. When I started, I didn't realize I would be spending hours upon hours until I was happy with the final outcome. Watch me end up changing it completely back to the way it was! I'd totally kick myself in the ass for that but, yet .. at the same time ... I wouldn't put it past myself :-)

Under Construction (again)

2010-01-06T20:43:00.004-05:00

Sorry folks, I'm revamping the blog layout again. As previously stated, I realized the previous template wasn't compatible with Chrome or FireFox & I'd like for it to be compatible with all browsers. It shouldn't take too long so kindly bear with me :-)

Exercising & the runner's high

2010-01-05T22:34:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I've gotten off my lazy butt & truly exercised. Well, until this past weekend anyway.

I know the stigma associated with making a "New Year's Resolution" ... blah, blah, blah ... however I've been putting it off & putting it off so I figured it was the perfect time.

Without delay, immediately on New Year's Day I went in search of the perfect routine to get started. I used to be a Certified Personal Trainer so I know where my weak areas lie & I know what I need in order to stick with a program. Taking that into consideration, I went with a Yoga/Weights combination workout & to kick my cardiovascular system into gear, as well as to maintain health, I also added a beginner's running program.

I also put them both into a spreadsheet so I can monitor my progress & be held accountable for my actions (or lack there of should I miss a day). This is key (for me anyway). I need to be able to map out my plans & also be able to watch my progress. This monitoring for me = motivation. Granted, I don't have to answer to anyone but myself ... but, it's still there in black & white (well, & green & blue because I used MS Excel & made it all puuurrrty :-)).

Anywho, thus far it has been terrific. I love that I've worked Yoga into my routine & that weights are a part of it. I feel wonderful afterwards & I know I'm doing something good for both my mind & my body. The other terrific aspect about yoga is the versatility. I can add & deduct poses & even completely change it around of I want to. I tend to get bored easily when working out (if I do the same routine for a while) so change is imperative!

I chose the beginner's running program because quite frankly I've really hated running in the past. Admittedly, I far too often started out too gung-ho & ended up getting shin splints & being out of breath & frustrated. This time, I'm doing it right. Also being a beginner's program it includes a lot of change to help you progress in running skills. The program also involves walking which bores me but it's good because it forces me to slow down & gives me a chance to "rest" while also getting exercise.

Since starting my new routine I've also been sleeping A LOT better & I'm loving it!

My apologies (to you & myself) for being away so long.

2009-12-26T23:28:00.006-05:00

Well, technically I've been here just no blogging but that's irrelevant.

Read this post from a fellow blogger. It touched my heart & I'm sure it will touch yours as well:

http://blackberriestoapples.blogspot.com/2009/12/true-meaning-of-christmas.html

*Oh & I'll be back tomorrow. Just make sure you read her blog posting (& linger - read her older posts as well). She's simply inspirational.

On a side note. I wrote this a week or so ago & I thought I'd share:

Awakening

Sounds around me humming gently,
Sounds I typically don't hear.
Life move forward/time passes,
My eyes don't always see.
The breeze brushes my face,
A soft reminder,
And I'm awake again.

~ Jayequeue (*not to be republished without written permission)

(& wtf - my blog does not load correctly in Google Chrome - use IE for best viewing please. Flipping IE - seriously ....)

I am the Garbage Can's Bitch.

2009-12-03T19:04:00.001-05:00

I feed it on a regular basis, to keep it happy, healthy & in its glorious, wondrous, garbage cannishness ... ness. I feed it paper, napkins, boxes, cigarette butts, the occasional Q-tip, torn-up mail, toe-clippings ... you name it & it just gobbles them all up in complete & utter glee.

Why do I do this (you ask)? Because, I can (no pun intended ... well, maybe a little one). Ok, I digress ... I do this simply because I sit on the side of the office that contains said container ...

I will admit, sometimes it annoys me that I have been given Garbage Can Bitch Status but then ... I remember, that I am feeding said can, giving said can life, happiness, a purpose ... & then ... then .. I sit here trying not to laugh out loud at my own attempt to maintain my sanity with insane thoughts.

*Forgive me for not posting very regularly as of late. Since I have been neglecting my poor blog, & reader(s), I thought maybe you'd enjoy some of my inner ramblings.*

Early to bed, Early to rise .... & then some ...

2009-11-21T00:00:00.004-05:00

Things have been going fairly well as of late with the slight exception of last night. I wasn't feeling too well & I knew it was a result of not enough sleep over the past few days. I decided to go to bed early to catch up on my sleep. I'd made that decision earlier in the day & come the time I'd mentally set to accomplish this, I was oddly pretty close to wide awake at that point .. or should I say - my mind was - my body - not so much. You know the feeling, your body is tired but your mind is going a mile a minute ...

Regardless, I proceeded to kiss my boyfriend goodnight, grab my cat & trudge on towards our bed with a steadfast determination to hit the hay at an early hour. Of course, I knew my mind was racing at that point (which often leads to ISP) so I left our hallway light on in the master suite for "comfort". I know, I'm a 34 year old woman but the light makes me feel better damnit - shoosh!

Nonetheless, I must have had about 6 or 7 rolling cycles of SP (or RISP as read in an article today - also referenced on my blog - I'm too lazy to look up the reference but if you scroll down & read the article by Sirley you'll find it).

All of the cycles were memorable but the one that sticks in my head (& the one I shared with my other half) was the last one.

You see, because my mind was going a mile a minute (which is never good when you're trying to sleep) & I knew my boyfriend would soon (not sure when, but soon) be coming into the bedroom to go to sleep as well ... I was anticipating the possibility of being woken up. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Well, when you have RISP it is a big deal because it can add to the anxiety involved in the simple procedure of falling asleep.

Ok, I got a bit off track. Nonetheless, so ... the one that sticks in my head went like this: I "woke up" & sensed that my boyfriend wasn't in the bed with me because I saw the light was still on, so my natural instinct was to see what time it was. Now, I have my Blackberry set to turn off at 2am & restart at 7am so I anticipated having to turn it back on to check the time (I was assuming it was after 2-obviously). So, I "reached" for my blackberry with this in mind only to find that although I was sending the signals to brain to perform this easy/normal-every day task - it wasn't happening. I looked down at my arm only to see it not moving. I thought to myself, "self, it's ok, you're just stuck, stare at the light & you'll wake up". I did this to no avail. I then thought, "ok, move your big toe" - I know - sounds like the "Kill Bill" movies but, darn it - it worked & poof, my toe moved, cracked & I woke up.

It was quite refreshing yet disturbing. I was upset that I'd been going through RISP episodes for over 2 hours - around 2-1/2 to be exact but at the same time I was happy that I'd come out of a pretty harmless episode of your standard SP with complete ease. How did I manage that? I'm not entirely sure but I'll tell you this. I refused to even get scared, I simply accepted what was happening & found a solution/a way to make it stop. That's it. Whether or not that will happen from now on remains to be seen & quite frankly I'm a bit doubtful. There are so many instances where it seems I am in no control whatsoever & at the mercy of "someone" else. I'd like to be hopeful, but it's difficult when I compare this instance and the few other good instances to the amount of bad instances I've had. Unfortunately, the few are few & far between ...

I'd also like to point out that my other RISP's included a number of the different symptoms associated with SP however never all of them at the same time. To be more specific, & to give another example, I completely "hallucinated" that my boyfriend had opened the door, walked into the bedroom & then into the bathroom at one point. I then woke up & it had not happened. I was a little baffled because it seemed so real but at the same time, part of me knew it wasn't real. I also heard loud explosions, doors opening, voices etc .. all while I was going "in & out of sleep".

Anyway, so much for me catching up on my sleep last night but ... I will say, as bad as it was - I did at least get to lay down for a few extra hours last night & I woke up refreshed so - I'll take it any way I can get it :-)

Sleep well!

Interesting dream last night

2009-11-14T02:04:00.001-05:00

Ok, technically it's last night but , well, it's really late so .. it was my last dream so is it really the night before last? Regardless, I had an (among others) very vivid dream. It was really strange, as if I wasn't really the person in "said dream" but as if I was the actor in what appeared to be a taping of a movie (no, not that kind!).

Anyway, I could see through the eyes of the actress & at times felt as if I "were" the actress (insert "Being John Malkovich") ... very, odd. I could feel what the other actor was feeling (in this case Robert Downey Jr.) & felt a very close connection to him as well. The dream progressed, taking place in a green room/office environment until the very end when gunshots sprang loose. Upon this .... my alarm went off & I awoke.

Another instance showing that i am experiencing REM at times when I should be in a different sleep stage.

None-the-less, an enjoyable & interresting dream experience :-)

Time for bed now - (& then some)

Sleep well all
~ Jayequeue

Little Bitch

2009-11-03T15:08:00.002-05:00

What I've Been Up To:

I've been surfing around for other blogs to read & I've found quite a few out there that are interesting & fun to read (some even help to put your brain to use!). I've put links on my page should anyone else want to venture their way as well. I highly suggest visiting them, I'm confident you'll be glad you did. In my "surfing", I've really been pleasantly surprised at the writing ability that's out there among bloggers. It was quite refreshing if I do say so myself!

Ramblings (a.k.a. bitching & moaning):

I'm finding as of late that I'm incredibly annoyed by people that talk out loud, or to me, interrupting me,when I'm trying to complete something that takes my concentration (such as blogging). I can't help but reflect back to when I was a teenager who lived (yes "lived" not just "loved") to read ... but got nasty as could be when interrupted. My poor sister, I would yell at her for interrupting me & she'd tromp off in a huff, slamming my bedroom door & then her own. Part of me still thinks she was overreacting, but looking at it from her point of view, I can see how I wasn't taking her feelings into consideration yet completely expected her to consider my feelings. Ironic or human nature?

To this day I'm annoyed by people that interrupt me or make strange noises (usually of the subconscious nature). I find it comparable to nails on a chalk board. Maybe I'm just an irritable little bitch ... or maybe I should just rip off whatever part of that other person's body is that's making the sounds ... Ok, maybe I am just an irritable little bitch :-)

SideNote:

Did have an SP episode the other night, but other than the dark figure & the paralysis it was uneventful. The figure just stood there as if his presence was necessary to maintain my paralysis, but eventually it ended. Oddly, it was in the middle of the night & I just fell right back into sleep afterwards. It's strange however that I still remembered it.

Comment (Hello?):

Remember, you're all more than welcome to leave me a comment anytime you'd like. I'll even comment back. I know you're reading because I see the stats, but ... no comment love for me yet? Hehe, make a girl smile - leave a comment ... even if you just want to tell me to shut up & stop asking you to leave them ... it's ok, I can take it!

Take care & sleep well.

Boredom ... it gets the best of us

2009-10-30T12:03:00.003-04:00

I decided to take a few pictures around the house & post them for your viewing pleasure. This picture of Mittens (a.k.a. Mrs. Peebles, a.k.a. Gary, a.k.a. Mitsy Girl, a.k.a. Mitsy Mittens of Mittensville, a.k.a. Fuzzy Nuts) is actually about a month or two old, but ... whatever, stop judging me! (hehe!)

BOO!

Here are some lovely books that I've never read & probably never will, but they were my moms so shoosh! Ok, I've read a few of them ... I think, like a long time ago:

And, this .... this is my foot. Yup, my foot. Enjoy my piano keys. I know I do & I'm sure you will as well ... or at least you'd better or I'll ... I'll ... I'll ... do ... something ... ok, not really:

A lovely day in paradise

2009-10-28T13:39:00.003-04:00

Well, here we are, a new day among us & it's quite lovely outside! A nice breeze wafting it's way through the palm trees, the sun shining down on us & a blue sky with clouds slowly drifting around in a lazy mood.

I haven't been blogging as much as I would like to as of late & apologies to those who stop by. My intention was to dedicate this blog to research on SP & recently I've not had any (full-fledged) instances so I've stepped back a bit.

I would like to point out that I watched Paranormal Activity over the weekend & although, I originally thought it had some commonalities with SP, after watching it, I would say that I was pretty-much off in my assumption. Instead, it turned out to be more of a Blair-Witch/Exorcist type of story. Although, I'm sure some will beg to differ as with SP there is always that feeling (or more appropriately that sense) that it is in fact a demon or evil presence rather than a waking-dream.

Anywho ... other than my battle with my BlackBerry & the new Facebook application all has been pretty well in the World of Jayequeue.

Top Selling On-line Products

2009-10-21T11:53:00.002-04:00

Hello all! I'm curious if anyone out there has any inkling as to what the top selling (online) products are. I would like to expand my income but, I'm a little gray as to where to start ... When you make online purchases what types of products are you buying?

Ok, I don't use hand sanitizer ...

2009-10-15T17:40:00.001-04:00

I like to "live on the edge" as I call it, but this article at MSN makes me want to hurl. Apparrently a study was done in London showing that only 1/3 of men & 2/3 of women wash their hands after doing their business in the bathroom!

Come on people!

And that's that

2009-10-13T11:29:00.001-04:00

As you've probably noticed I haven't been blogging very often as of late. Apologies for the neglection however things have been going very well. I'll be posting again soon :-)

St. John's Wort, Narcolepsy & me

2009-10-01T16:54:00.002-04:00

Well, I up & decided to try some St. John's Wort to help me sleep & it turns out that it did help me sleep but ... it also made me incredibly groggy the next day. I did research it first & found that the grogginess doesn't typically go away so I'm thinking it will need to be something saved for use only on weekends. I will say though, I did sleep really well & even fell asleep fairly quickly without as much anxiety as usual so that's good. The other thing I noticed is that I spent a lot of time in REM (more than usual & I usually spend a LOT of time in REM) which is not good ..

I've also been researching narcolepsy as of late & I'm finding HUGE similarities between my symptoms & narcolepsy. I also found out that although we all associate people falling asleep in the middle of conversations with narcolepsy, that assumption is incorrect. A symptom of narcolepsy - cataplexy is what causes sudden REM (falling asleep) & not everyone has that symptom!

Other symptoms of narcolepsy include:

excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS)
sleep paralysis (SP)
hallucinations (hypnagogic & hypnopompic) (HH)
cataplexy (C)

You'll notice that SP & HH are listed separately. In researching, that is how I found the symptoms presented. At first I thought that seemed odd, but as we all know - people can have SP & not have HH.

Now, remember, you can have narcolepsy & not have all the symptoms listed above. I even found a forum for narcoleptics & there were several posters that label themselves PWN w/o C (Person with narcolepsy without cataplexy). The majority of the narcoleptics on the site had been tested at sleep centers & diagnosed by doctors (some even neurologists since it is considered a neurological disease).

Another interesting fact I came across is the reference to "hypocretin". Hypocretin is the chemical in the brain that is thought to control sleep & awake signals. Per the Harvard Medical School Guide to a Good Night's Sleep by Lawrence J. Epstein MD w/Steven Mardon, hypocretin is thought to regulate when wakefulness & sleep occur. They refer to Dr. Clifford Saper of Harvard Medical School, a researcher that studied narcolepsy, describing this process as a "flip-switch". The go on to state that hypocretin appears to be involved in when the flip between states occurs, as well as keeping you in that state. The belief is that when there is little or no hypocretin, people will (of course) flip between sleep & wakefulness frequently thus, causing muscle paralysis & dreaming to occur during wakefulness. I found that a great deal of the book is available for reading via Google books (great site!) so I encourage everyone to check it out!

I also found a lot of material that refers to SP as being a result of REM occurring first rather than gradually going through the normal sleep stages (beginning with light sleep). This makes complete sense to me because it happens every time I go to sleep. The unfortunate instance is when that occurs before I actually fall asleep (SP), which it sooo often does (arg!). That's when my (ever so wonderful) cycle of jerking myself up once I start to dream while not completely in a sleep state begins (along with my anxiety). I found a lot of posters on the narcolepsy board stating this happens to them as well & it's actually part of the testing required to diagnose narcolepsy. Narcoleptics hit REM much more quickly than "normal" people & spend more time in the REM state than other "normal" people as well. Often, switching sporadically between REM & other stages throughout their sleep time. (I wish I was one of those "normal" people ... lol).

Anyway, I hope everyone finds this information as helpful as I did. Unfortunately, the only way to know for sure whether I just have ISP (or RSP) or something more (like narcolepsy) would be to get sleep testing done at a sleep center ... which I can't afford ... but, judging by my symptoms & the amount of time I spend in REM I would say it may just be a obvious that I do in fact have narcolepsy. If only I were a doctor ...

New website that is of great interest to me!

2009-09-29T00:35:00.003-04:00

I just came across this webiste that's of great interest to me: The Conscious Dreamer By Sirley Marques Bonham . I haven't explored it in it's entirety & in fact literally - I just stumbled upon it searching "isolated sleep paralysis" via google. The reason I find this to be of extreme interest is because I am ever-so-often pulled into what she calls "recurrent isolated sleep paralysis", which I call rolling cyclyes or the like. Regardless, one-in-the-same.

Check it out & check her site out (as I will continue to do) & I'm sure we'll all find it of interest :-)

Sleep well!
~ Jayequeue

Christmas SP

2009-09-28T10:50:00.003-04:00

I thought I'd share an older episode of SP. This happened back when I was about 19-20 years old (I'm now 34).

It was around christmas time & I had gone to bed. At the time where I was living I was sleeping on a sofa bed in the living room because my bedroom didn't have working heat. The christmas tree was (of course) in the living room as well & the lights were on.

I was sleeping as normal as can be until I felt as though I woke up, but couldn't fully open my eyes. Try as I did, all I could manage to do was every-so-slightly open my eyes. I recall seeing the lights on the christmas tree through my (maybe) half-open eyes. I know my eyes were not fully open because I could see my eyelashes in the way of my vision of the tree. At first I didn't realize what was obstructing my vision, but then realized the obstruction was actually several feathery obstructions & that's when I figured it out. I tried & tried to open my eyes, to no avail. I eventually just fell back to sleep. There was no evil presence & I don't recall any feeling of my body being paralyzed. I think I was more concerned with the annoyance of not being able to open my eyes fully.