the world you see , the life to be

To Deal With Outside People

2012-02-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

Now, we discuss about what kind of people we usually met outside and how we respond towards them.

Those are experiences that I earned from being a salesman.

Customers with difficulty level: Easy

They come by and stopped. Looking at my products, then take initiatives to ask me questions, and pay attention when I am talking, asking me back when he is not understand.

Customers with difficulty level: Moderate

They come by and stopped. Arms crossed, looking at my products, did not respond when I introduce myself, did not pay attention when I was talking. A few minutes later, come back and ask me to repeat myself again, and ask to compare between all the products, then only made his decision.

Customers with difficulty level: Difficult

They bring along their laptops and ask me to help them do the installation. Then challenge me with all the question, make sense or does not make sense, until one that I cannot answer, and they feeling satisfied.

Customers with difficulty level: Insane

Species 1:They bought my product and come back one day later, saying that some accessories are not included, request for those that he claimed missing, but actually looking for spare parts. If refused, he threatened me by complaining to the customer service.

Species 2:They bought my product and come back the next day. Introduce themselves by cursing the product. Then say to other customers that they should not buy my products, and request me to see what is wrong with the product, but actually he does not even know how to use it.

If you << know how difficult my job is, then increase my salary, thank you.

Ambition vs Salary

2012-01-17T13:46:00.002+08:00

In the January of this year I have found my ambition to be a pilot.

In June I failed the recruitment test.

In November I took my STPM examination.

In December I graduated from my sixth form.

In January 2012, which is the current month, I am working as HP printer promoter. And the environment here not as badly as my previous working experiences, so far so good.

We must always looking forward to what is going to be done in future. Before December my direction in life was to score my examinations. But it was over and I should be doing things that post graduate students are doing, which is, jobs, scholarships, applications, and courses registration.

Apart from becoming a pilot, I always wanted to be a researchers, never think of specialised in which field, but just wanted to join part of the science people, so that I would never waste years of my breath studying science streams.

In the age of 16, students are struggling to score their PMR examination, and trying their very best to enter the science classes, I used to be proud of it when I made myself to be part of the science students.

In the age of 18, me and my fellow friends graduated from SPM and we are all moving forward to colleges, and form six. There are people studying foundation in arts, later moved on to business and economics courses which are not things that we once dreamt of.

They are not memory loss, they have just changed their mind, and do things that, usually people do.

In the street when we see people wearing office suits and walking with a laptop bag they are those people that earning high incomes and driving luxury cars. And, that people, are those marketing and business specialist.

We have heard stories from elder people that, normally in school, those who are in the Art classes, will become the boss for those who are in the Science class in future.

Recently I have saw application opened for public universities and there are few science courses I would like to apply for it. But all those courses, either there are very few job demand, or there are very low paid, lower than business or marketing people can earn. There are courses that are very highly paid in science but, I do not think my result is good enough to compensate the competition existed in that application.

Which means the situation is encouraging me to change course, like a ship abandoned its destination and going somewhere else because there are more fish.

If I got to study four more years just to earn a few hundreds more every month, would I still be happy and be stiff enough to continue my ambition?

I am a post-graduated STPM student and what I went through have actually trained me to become keen on things that I have been doing.

But sometimes there are situations that we must learn to let go, which is one of the most difficult things that I can perform.

I'd always looking for the best for myself, but how often there are opportunities for me to do the best?

Be Steady

2011-11-24T15:49:00.001+08:00

The first paper in STPM is not a good start. There are plenty of issues I have received information from sources all over the country. None of them proved to be useful. It is proven that even tuition centre is not reliable in giving spot question. I learnt a great lesson, that I shouldn't trust anyone about spot questions.

When comes to exam, there are a lot of things you tried to prepare before the examination start so that to ease you to answer the question, you spend time and money to go for seminars that says they give you important tips for your examinations, but you didn't accuse them for giving wrong information, instead we all always promote that centre if they give any accurate information. That is how they earned, this is all business, it is not education. During examination no one will help you from beside, in fact you have to handle it on your own. No matter how tough of lame the question is, you still have to answer it. I hate Pengajian Am paper, but there is nothing I can do except to accept it with open heart.

The following week is the time for chemistry and biology. I have heard from the Physics students that the paper is easy, I hope the same goes to Biology paper. But in my sixth form life I never had any easy paper before. Not even once, all the past year questions are challenging.

The way they arrange the timetable proved how the authorities think. Even after so much of complaints they insist on their mistake to ensure their prestige protected. Only the students know how important it is, for most of us this precious moment is going to change our life.

I have repeated a lot of times to myself that the only person you can trust the most is yourself, and the secret to do better than you can do is to believe. But not in every situation I can do that, now when it is near to the examination I started to become less ambitious. It is proven self-encouragement is not very effective in critical situation.

In the last two years, when I am sitting for SPM, every moment I started to grab the book, I opened it, I flip to that page, I told myself that this is the last time I ever spent my effort on you, so please let me go through all these easily. But a year later I enter the sixth form, which is a lot more difficult than what I have been frustrating that time, I gave up encouragement. It will never stop, it is like a campaign game, the more you play the more difficult it gets, until you die. But at least this time is a lot better, at least I know the future studies will not be that difficult as compared to this.

The saddest moment for the STPM students is that,

No one guarantee you the good future that you are hoping for, what you are doing is just keep believing, that this is a good way to go.

Despite all the hard work you have spent, after the result came out you might end up studying things that you don't really interested in, and you still believe that you will have a good future.

I don't expect anything more than a happy life.

I wish myself good luck for my examination.

Stay calm and stay happy:)

Countdown STPM

2011-11-06T15:03:00.001+08:00

In less than 15 days before STPM, frankly speaking I have not fully prepared for it. In fact I am still doing like usual, I do not have any special ingredients for this examination.

Besides, there is just one more schooling days for my pre-U. And my tuition classes also ended. Everything is about to end, the examination will put an end to everything going on in these two years.

I will miss those days while we are having lessons in classes, learning things all together with friends, and we solve all those creepy questions together.
I will miss those teachers who actually concerned about our future, and they share everything they have to ensure we could perform the best in our examination.
I will miss all the fellow friends that we have once fought together, together we share sweat and tears. Also we enjoys countless happiness that are essentially important to build up the cherish memories of pre-U life.

It is actually sad that we do not have a time to celebrate our graduation. Perhaps not everyone is thinking the same as me, maybe all those experiences are not so memorable for some people. In fact I admit the bonding between all the students are not really good in my classes.

By looking how the communications between me and my old friends from secondary school are fading, it is actually what going to happens to my fellow classmates in the next two years. So this is life, friends may come and go, only enemies remains.

Every moment I am wondering what would it be after the examination? What can I do to fill up the free time i have before university intake? But lets come back on the track, it is examination going on right now.
Everywhere, everyone is asking "How's your preparation for examination?" . If this is question by friends that you coincidently met outside, it will be just something that enable him/her to start a conversation. The answer you gave is not important. But at least he remember that you are taking pre-U courses, so you can appreciate it. If this is questioned by your classmate that normally hardly spoken to you, then it may be somehow they wanted to know whether he/her is preparing better than you. And they are threatened by your usual performance then only they asked this, so you can appreciate it too. But if this is asked by your family members or your close friends, they are really concern about you. You can give the true answer, then the conversations going on could be good for your emotion.

It is an undeniable fact that during examination periods, we lost friends. Some are really getting really tensed and they have no mood to entertain you. Some others are getting selfish and they are afraid that you wanted to benefits from them. The others are just remain normal but still the play time is reduced.

In the beginning of the year there is always some top scorers in class claim that actually they do not like studies and behave as if they are also the playful students in class. But in the end they will act differently, holding books, pencils swinging, ignore the world. This is trend, nothing going to change it.

And there are plenty of seminars going on claim that they are going to provide tips and tricks for examination, with insanely expensive prices, every students are thinking of going for it. Although there might be someone who said they are not interested, but it is just because they are hiding some problems that causes them not to attending. After that they will find those students that attended and asked things. But in the very deep of my heart I knew things, things that blinded many people. I know the fact that every seminars is about mind games, if they do not give you confident you don't even tried to study, and if they spot something different you can hardly remember, just in case if it came out you always feel surprised and telling the whole world. The tuition centre is getting benefits, it is win-win situation.
Still, I have attended few seminars that less people attending, because I know they are telling the truth, I hate lies.

Finally I have not hear any motivation talks, which I hate the most.
Teachers are keep praising student, but am I really that good? Of course not, these are high level motivation talks.

Few days ago there is "Mohon Restu" the crapshit teacher is absent for that event, but still students are looking for her for her bless. And those students are people who poke her back in her absence, those who complaint about her to superior teachers. Also some are the one who influence other people to think bad of her. I didn't went for it, they think I am weird because I am different, while I think they are weird because they are all the same!

While they are begging for bless from her. I was looking for another teacher where she also didn't attend for that event. When I reached there I saw she was having practical test for the lower six. That's why she wasn't there. I shake her hand, I said thank you. She grabbed my hand, in the eyes I see sincerity, I know it is a lot that she wanted to tell, but nothing prepares her to say it out. In the end she gave me a hug, I just thinking, I won't let you down, I will do my best. The feeling is just about the same as the first time I got my chemistry result, the way she express her disappointment in me is something real. It's not that she wanted to motivate me, it's not that she dislike me. Her sincere is very real.

I wish the best for my examination by wanted myself to perform the best.

Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets planning

2011-09-30T15:48:00.000+08:00

Quotes by Thomas Alva Edison.

Yesterday there is a senior came in to our class during MUET lessons talking about stuffs. Stuffs that I heard a lot, stuffs that I had to agree with it but I cannot achieve it.

He is a very excellent students, he took international baccalaureate, and currently sponsored by Sime Darby to study in England, Imperial College. He had very good scholarships, and he said to take scholarships is easy, you just have to know how to speak, he said. I am wondering, if things can go so easy there won't be people suffering out there.

He compared university graduates with hawkers selling Char Kuey Teow, saying that hawkers can earn more than degree holders. Asking why are we struggling to get into university? For some people maybe they don't know, but for me i have no doubts. For once I went outside finding for jobs, try to earn some money, that time I was 17. When I found one it was not a very good career opportunity either. I am sure that without knowledge, and qualification, to earn money is not an easy task. Of course the way he speaks he can make it sounds very easy, he is the man who had everything and flashing back what he went through, he is convincing us that we can do what he had done. Talk about flashing back, for once when we were kids, UPSR was a nightmare for us, some of them even cried for it. But when we get to higher level, when we take out PMR, we say that UPSR was like peanuts, PMR is the real nightmare. When we go to SPM, we say that SPM is very difficult, some people say it is the last thing you will go through, but for me? I still have STPM, which I am struggling for it now. Ask me about my SPM, what I would say? Well, no doubts, everyone will say its easy. But what did I said before? When I am sitting for it? Is it as easy as I saying right now? So this is how the principal works, the difference between me and him is that, he got it, I am not. Is he boosting? No, he is humble, but just we shares different ideas.

Still, one fact that people can never deny, is that opportunities is the key. Without chances given we go no where. He got the offer, that's why he can performed, no one is bothering me why am i performing? Strategy and Planning are only for those who offered opportunity to perform, not for those who are still waiting.

I know scholarships are not something very impossible, but still, it is depends on luck. If I am lucky enough I wouldn't end up kicked out in the first stage of my cadet pilot recruitment test. From that day on I hate the word, " Shortlisted Candidates will be notify ". What is Shortlisting? Shortlisting means, not necessarily he will look at what u wrote on the test day, once he got enough candidates you are out.

If no one prefer light bulbs than candle, who is Edison?

Lets put an end into motivation talks, I hate motivation talks, as if I am so demotivated. Unless you got an opportunity to offer, if not please save your voices and return my peace.
I am pretty sure everyone in this form six year is working on it, do not say that we do not work just because you did not see anything work out.
If Char Kuey Teow is such a good career with high pay then probably colleges are setting up courses like, Degree in Kuey Teow, Engineering in Char Kuey Teow?

Still, thanks to you so that I know smart people doesn't mean they know everything.

STPM Timetable

2011-09-20T22:41:00.001+08:00

As we are know that our STPM timetable isn't so satisfying, I do sent an e-mail to MPM regarding this matter. And the response is disappointing. They insists that it cannot be changed, so what we can do is pray harder.

My letter to MPM:

Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 11:51 AM
To: Pegawai Perhubungan Awam
Subject: Rayuan Untuk Mengubah Jadual Waktu Peperiksaan STPM 2011

Selamat Sejahtera dan Selamat Hari Raya kepada Pihak Tuan/Puan yang menerima mel ini. Salam satu Malaysia.

Saya merupakan calon bakal menduduki peperiksaan STPM pada tahun 2011, ingin membuat rayuan tentang jadual waktu yang baru dikeluarkan baru-baru ini, adalah agak mendukacitakan.

1. Saya memahami aspek-aspek yang diambil kira oleh pihak Majlis Peperiksaan Malaysia (MPM) semasa membuat pembahagian masa dalam jadual waktu STPM tahun 2011. Saya menghargai usaha Tuan. Saya juga memahami bahawa pertukaran jadual waktu akan menyebabkan pertembungan jadual waktu calon dan Tuan telah mencuba untuk mengelakkan situasi tersebut.

2. Namun, setelah merujuk kepada jadual waktu pada tahun 2011 yang telah dikeluarkan. Saya agak pasti bahawa pertembungan telahpun berlaku. Saya merujuk kepada kertas Biology 2 dan juga kertas Chemistry 2 yang perlu diduduki pada hari yang sama. Sebagai calon STPM yang telah mencuba sedaya upaya untuk melengkapi diri saya dengan penyediaan pada tempoh satu dan setengah tahun ini, saya tentu tidak berharap usaha saya akan disia-siakan dengan pembahagian masa yang kurang bertimbang rasa.

3. Untuk pengetahuan Tuan, kedua-dua kertas yang diduduki pada hari tersebut adalah kertas subjektif dan esei. Maknanya, ia memerukan masa yang panjang untuk menyiapkan diri untuk menduduki kertas tersebut. Saya percaya Tuan memahami calon-calon memerlukan rehat yang secukupnya di antara kedua-dua kertas tersebut. Terdapat juga topik-topik yang calon-calon harus diulangkaji semalam sebelum peperiksaan seperti topik-topik abstrak yang melibatkan teori yang panjang, agar tidak menjadi kekeliruaan kepada calon-calon pada hari peperiksaan.

4. Saya juga telah merujuk kepada jadual peperiksaan STPM tahun-tahun sebelumnya, situasi yang bakal berlaku ini tidak pernah dihadapi oleh senior-senior kami. Saya mencadangkan bahawa, salah satu kertas pada hari tersebut dipindahkan ke hari-hari yang terdapat kekosongkan. Saya percaya masalah ini dapat diatasi dengan cara tersebut.

5. Sebelum jadual waktu yang sedia ada akan diedarkan kepada para pelajar. Perubahan harus dilakukan agar dapat menjimatkan kos pencetakan dan juga dapat mengelakkan kekeliruan para pelajar STPM. Dengan mengambil kira cadangan yang telahpun dikemukakan, pihak Tuan tidak akan mengalami kerugian tetapi bagi pihak pelajar, saya mempercayai bahawa usaha ini akan sangat dihargai. Sebelum itu saya mewakili para pelajar mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih kepada Tuan kerana mempertimbangkan cadangan saya itu,

Sekian, Terima Kasih dan Selamat menyamut Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Saya memohon maaf sekiranya terdapat mana-mana bahagian yang menyinggung perasaan Tuan.

Calon STPM 2011

This is their reply:

Tuan/Puan

Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa Majlis Peperiksaan Malaysia (MPM) amat memahami perasaan pelajar ketika menduduki peperiksaan. Justeru, MPM sentiasa memastikan bahawa Jadual Waktu Peperiksaan STPM disusun sebaik mungkin agar calon tidak menduduki banyak kertas peperiksaan dalam satu hari dan tidak berlaku pertembungan kertas peperiksaan, iaitu dua kertas peperiksaan pada waktu yang sama.

Dalam menyediakan Jadual Waktu Peperiksaan STPM, MPM juga sentiasa mengambil kira faktor-faktor lain seperti jumlah hari untuk keseluruhan peperiksaan STPM, kombinasi mata pelajaran yang diambil oleh calon, tempoh pemeriksaan skrip jawapan calon, dan pengeluaran keputusan peperiksaan.

Harus diingat bahawa dalam sistem terbuka peperiksaan STPM, calon bebas memilih mana-mana kombinasi mata pelajaran yang dibenarkan oleh sukatan pelajaran. Dengan demikian, pertembungan kertas peperiksaan kadang-kadang tidak dapat dielakkan. Namun, seperti yang dijelaskan, MPM saban tahun berusaha menyusun jadual waktu sebaik mungkin bagi mengelak perkara ini daripada berlaku.

Antara kriteria yang diambil perhatian dalam menyediakan jadual waktu adalah:

i. seboleh mungkin mengelak daripada berlakunya kuarantin terhadap pelajar semasa peperiksaan akibat daripada pertembungan kertas peperiksaan.

ii. mengelakkan kertas soalan yang mempunyai bilangan calon yang ramai daripada bertembung waktu peperiksaan.

iii. jumlah kertas yang bilangan pertembungannya minimum ialah kertas Bahasa Cina, Bahasa Tamil, Bahasa Arab, Literature in English, Further Mathematics, Computing, dan Sains Sukan sahaja. Hanya kertas-kertas bagi mata pelajaran ini sahaja yang dapat dipasangkan dengan mata pelajaran lain untuk mengelakkan pertembungan calon yang ramai. Mata pelajaran yang lain itu semuanya terdapat pertembungan, dan MPM akan memastikan seboleh-bolehnya tiada pertembungan kertas peperiksaan pada sesi sebelah petang, terutamanya bagi kertas yang mengambil masa 3 jam masa peperiksaannya.

iv. pengaturan peperiksaan juga perlu mengambil kira mata pelajaran sastera dan sains supaya lebih adil kepada semua calon.

Jadi, berdasarkan kepada fakta-fakta ini, pihak MPM berharap agar calon dapat memahami dengan jelas bagaimana jadual waktu disediakan di mana pihak MPM telah mengambil kira semua faktor yang berkaitan. Dalam erti kata lain, MPM sememangnya dari awal sedar dan berusaha untuk menyusun sebaik mungkin jadual waktu peperiksaan STPM bagi memberi ruang dan waktu rehat yang secukupnya kepada calon bagi menduduki setiap kertas peperiksaan.

Harus juga diingatkan bahawa pengajaran dan pembelajaran untuk menghadapi peperiksaan STPM adalah selama setahun setengah yang pastinya dan sepatutnya calon telah bersedia untuk menduduki peperiksaan ini di akhir tahun pengajian tingkatan enam mereka.

Jika jadual waktu yang telah disediakan ini diubah, kemungkinan besar akan berlaku pertembungan jadual waktu yang akan melibatkan lebih ramai calon dan kuarantin terpaksa dilakukan yang mana akan menimbulkan ketidakselesaan kepada calon. Walau bagaimanapun, MPM akan mengambil perhatian terhadap masalah dan komen yang diberikan oleh calon dalam menyediakan jadual waktu peperiksaan bagi tahun-tahun yang akan datang. Atas komen yang diberikan, MPM mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih.

“Selamat Menduduki Peperiksaan STPM 2011 dan Selamat Maju Jaya”

Sekian dimaklumkan. Terima kasih.

“BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA”

Saya yang menurut perintah

Haji Khawari bin Haji Idris

Pegawai Perhubungan Awam

b.p. Ketua Eksekutif

Majlis Peperiksaan Malaysia

What is your opinion folks?

Three weeks feels like forever

2011-09-20T22:30:00.004+08:00

         The Day Before Trial
Thinking about my stationary, equipment, and all I about to need tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Pengajian Am paper two, which means i am going to write a lot. Flashing back what have been learnt from the most useless teacher in the whole form six throughout this whole year?
Fortunately the real pain of this trial is not tomorrow.
However, still it is frustrated that i did not have proper guidance to really face this paper.
Upcoming : PA 2
    1/8     First Day of Battle

Just woke up at 5:50 as usual, realizing that today would not be an easy day, listen to music while waking up. Wondering what it feels like when the real STPM is going on? relax its just trial
The paper is just long, but thankfully to our useless teacher that actually gave us the real information about the examination, for the last time i trusted her and for the first time she made me feels its worthy.
Its not just tough, it is fussy, assuming that 300 words for each essay, another 100 for the others, at least i wrote 1000 words within 3 hours, My pen keep moving, my hand is already shaking but my concentration makes it less affecting my writing. The graphs for Bahagian D is kind of fresh new, I haven't seen anything like this before, I took a moment to convince myself that what i am about to do is correct.
After the paper, I am preparing for the next one. And very frustrating that human's memory doesn't last long and detail enough for me to sit for the paper. More time passed, more things forgotten. I wish everything will be fine tomorrow.
Upcoming: Biology paper 1

    2/8      Not enough
Seems like i have get used to the examination atmosphere. But not when I just open my eyes wide in the early morning. The emotion is not so satisfying this morning. Then i started to worry about Mathematics, as I usually have variety of symptoms during Mathematics paper. For once I made big mistakes in the past it takes me forever to get over it.
Today's Biology, overall I just hope it can be more than half correct answers. When the paper was finished the after-exam trend begun, all of us started to discuss the answers. But what annoys me the most was the other people who sitting for the other paper, look at my paper and judge my answers with very bad comments. Sometimes they claimed that their paper is more difficult than ours, they are feeling proud of it. Actually they do not know how much effort we put in, i do not appreciate all these.
I did spent quite a lot of efforts on this subject, although not so significant when compared to some excellent students. Still, there are some questions that made me realize that i did not go into detail enough to solve it.
After this examination i will work harder on it.
Upcoming: Pengajian Am paper 1

   3/8       A little effort don't make differences
Spent a whole night reading past year questions for pa1. However, i only managed to cover 40 questions. This subject is really disappointing, no matter how I tried to study it makes me wanna fell asleep. One thing I hate is the author do not go straight to the point, making the sentences so confusing. During the examination, as usual, I played guessing game.
A week ago I sent an e-mail to the Ketua Pengarah Peperiksaan, to regarding the STPM timetable. They did reply me with a very polite way, but the reason they gave is really out. It doesn't make any logic, and people without any knowledge will be able to give reasons like this. As I expected things would not get so easily achieved. But if they still insist on this timetable, i strongly believe that it will really affect my performance during STPM.
Tomorrow is the real pain of this trial. I am hoping that I had overcome my phobia.
Upcoming: Mathematics Paper 1

    4/8     Never Thought to be that Pain
After the March test I got a very low marks for my Mathematics.
That makes me so motivated in such a way that i practice Differentiation and Integration for months. During the mid-term, the improvement was very satisfying, but I never quits, I just continue my practice for other chapters, My Mathematics skill was improved by leaps and bounds.
It is just that sometimes things cannot be achieved by just efforts alone, my phobia towards Mathematics test is still there, I did not think well during the examination today. Right after the paper I figured out the Implicit.
To prepare myself emotionally, I think i need a new strategy, now i feel fortunate that it is just a trial. I just hope i can pass i do not expect anything more.
Upcoming: Biology paper 2

   5/8    Sometimes It is All About Luck
Biology paper 2, I did read a lot of challenging topics, some topics that people will take forever to understand it. Each of those topics i spent few hours on it.
In Biology, what interest me is the process, and technique. But in this paper they are not challenging your knowledge, instead they are just testing your memory power, whether we are able to remember that details enough.
In paper 2, I always prefer essays more than structures, I think essays give more opportunity to elaborate ideas. Instead of structures questions that they require specific answers, give you few lines, although you have no idea what the question is actually asking about.
Last time when i did not prepare much I do not worry too much about whether I can remember. But this morning I am dying to recall those things I've studied. But I knew actually before this I do not have much things to forget about.
Still, It is quite Satisfying.
Upcoming: Chemistry paper 1

6/8 The Most Unpleasant Feeling During Examination Week.
I feel fearful to know my results, I always do. Every moment I expect improvement in my results each time I took examination, but in this form six life what I can always do is just try my best to maintain or it will decline. Today i knew my result for Chemistry 1, Biology 1, and Mathematics 1, for both the objective papers there is a little improvement. But for Mathematics there is slight decline.
Today's Chemistry 1, my alternative strategy do not work. But still those time I spent on it did contribute to my esult today. And those questions that I get wrong is those I deserve it. Because I do not know of it.
There is always someone in everywhere who can perform excellent in every subjects. Since my primary school years it is always been like this. I tried to compare myself to them to find out my weakness but I still couldn't perform as well as them. I am just too weak.
In Biology, every living things should avoid competition in order to survive. It means that when you really cannot perform in some field then you should move on to others. But can I abandoned my studies? No, because this damn system created by the modern society, give me no way to proceed in life if I don't score in studies. That makes me a loser, but I am struggling.
Upcoming: Mathematics paper 2

       7/8 There is Still Hopes
Today's Mathematics 2, it should be fine except the part that I did not actually saw it wrote there k= 6/5 . When in realize it , it was already time to hand over the paper. Just a mistake like this it costs me 11 marks. Apart from me there is still many people who are satisfied with their performance today. So it can be concluded that, I will never stand out from the crowd, I can be just follow the pace of the average student, or left far behind if I do not do well.
I screwed up Paper 1, I hope that paper 2 will help me to pass this Mathematics trial. As I remembered, I absent for my SPM Additional Mathematics trial, because of stomachache and too nervous. I promised myself that I will change, no longer fear for Mathematics, I also promised to my teacher that in every examination I took I will improved by 20%. But this time seems like the chances are narrow.
Still, I started to see the light. I see opportunities. But not yet for Chemistry. Its paper 2 tomorrow, the last paper. Tonight I struggled with my last breath,
Upcoming: Chemistry paper 2

        8/8 Not A Good Ending
The first PA paper i remembered it was satisfying. The next Biology was also kind of smooth, until Mathematics paper 1 it was disappointing, but it was saved by paper 2.
Last but not least, Chemistry. Which is the subject I focus the most on it before the exam preparation week, did not satisfy me. Well, I should say, I did badly in this paper. I would not compare in such a way that the other people did not score well, though, Because in the end, what I wanted to achieve is my goal, I do not bother about how the others do in their paper. But of course, I would feel sad when I am too far away from the average group.
During the structure part there were already some part that make me doubt my knowledge. The first question was also not a good start, when comes to essays the situation become worse as I proceed to the next question.
In examination, the thing I fear most is that lost concentration. If there is anything that are able to distract my mind, e.g. I was thinking how bad it can be if I fail this paper, then I lost the momentum. It is hard to regain the concentration to proceed. Maybe I am tired, I did not sleep well these two nights. But in the actual STPM, there is still Biology 2 after Chemistry 2, I knew I must train more on concentration.
So, that's how it ends.
Good Luck for my STPM!

I'm Sorry and It's Okay

2011-08-26T22:29:00.000+08:00

In the kindergarten age our teacher taught us to say:" It's okay, I'm fine" when we heard somebody said " I'm sorry", in diagrammatic way.

But as time passed, as we grew up. Things ain't getting so easy compared to what we learnt in our childhood.
So what is bothering my mind?
I might start to judge whether I should have really said "It's Okay" when comes to it.
The proper way of using the phrase "It's okay" is actually when we forgive the person after he/she done something that it offended people.
On the other hand, when we say " I'm sorry " it means that we are feeling guilty after we have done something awful, unpleasant, and we would like to seek for forgiveness. Thus we apologize.

Therefore, I personally do not enjoy the situation when people use these phrases, just to end the conversation quickly. After they have done something that make you feel less than pleased, they say " I am sorry", but not because they wanted to apologize, but they are thinking that this psychopathic fella are getting mad, I better back off, so is it.

Same goes to the situation when you are feeling really guilty and you are trying to ask for forgiveness. You said" I am sorry". In the norm of the society, most of the time they are saying" It's okay" or maybe "I am fine", but what they are thinking? Oh this is really gonna pissed me off, it's okay for now but you better watch out next time. But for the less tempered person they say "it's okay" is just the way they ignore you, in the less violent way.
This is what I have been discussing all the time, Insincerity.
Unfortunately, sincererity is one of the things I can never expect from people. Even I showed my sincerity first, how sure am I whether they know it?

Achievement with Appreciation

2011-08-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

One of the grateful things in Pre-U was the appreciation given for our achievement without prejudice.
Whatever things we spent efforts on, we would like to be appreciated.

   It is just feeling good to receive medals, not to just show what you have done, but also reminded myself that for once I've done a great job.

   Do not bother on the argument from the folks whether how far they agree that I deserve to take it, but the most importantly, I've got it, So it's mine, it is my achievement, It always will be. There might be luck which play a significant role that determine the final result sometimes, but still, people said: 99% effort, 1% luck. Well, I say: "No victory without effort", in my whole life there is never been a free gift, every single things i fight for it on my own.

   The best feeling come from the best RnD group, refer to the post: Calendrical Study. To get this is never be simple, everyone of us did great effort, but just see who done better. Efforts are very much contributed to maintain the consistency, efficiency and finally, a lot of preparation has been done to prepare the demonstration, survey, report and the presentation. I am glad that my effort give unexpected surprise.

Always be remembered: Success is a journey, never a destination, while courtesy make it more beautiful.

to SHARE and to LISTEN

2011-08-23T18:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes people share personal stuffs to their friends,

Whenever people get emotional, there is always someone that are reliable and they will talk about things whether it is happy or unhappy scenario. A way to get stress relieved.

I am always the one listen from other people, i believe they trusted me and i appreciate what they told and if they tell in detail enough, i might figure out ways to help them. If i couldn't, at least have something nice to cheer them up.

But in return, when i get very stressed and emotional i have no one to share with. The moment i am gonna enter the topic i might think, whether they are interested to listen what i am going to talk about, whether it is something that should be shared or keep to myself, and most importantly, whether the targeted person is willing to listen and to understand me.

That is the reason why i always find activities to cheer up myself by myself, but when exposed, it just seems like i am a psychopathic patient wandering alone doing lame stuffs. Researchers found that psychopathic person tends to commit crime, serial killers, child abusers. Thank god i have not reach that level.

People often feel lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. But they are destroying my bridges instead of crossing it sincerely.

When i think of something to talk about, there is always no one to listen.
But when i have nothing to talk about, maybe there are people pretended they are going to listen,
Even if i really said something how far will they understand it?

Two Weeks Before Trial STPM

2011-08-21T13:34:00.002+08:00

What is the thing to do when it is near trial?
List of 10,
1) Study hard!
    My aim is to achieve 6 hours revision per day, although it sounds crazy.
2) Sleep less
    What is the most effective way to accumulate more time for study? Play time is little, eating time is also negligible, the most significant time spent is sleeping. Just hope that it doesn't affect health.
3) Work more on the right way and spend less time listen to crap shit.
     Well when time is less and exam is in the corner of course, there might be speech, motivation camp and all.... but please, it's not like the first time i sitting for examination. This is not work! Just get back to study.
4) No sacrifice, No victory
    This quote is one of the Transformer: the score's theme song, i steal it :) But in this case i am referring to i have to sacrifice something to achieve better result in my STPM. I do have hobbies, i do have things that i wanted to do but not done but still, i am sacrificing them for my trial. Remember there is just two weeks.
5) Things that sound good are all fake
     Some people will just motivate you or giving you less tensed before examination, by saying something very nice to heard. But then when you failed your trial, those dialogues would be different. It could sound as bad as you can never imagined, and your feeling is the last aspect they will ever concern, it will only be relieve if you do better in the next real examination.
6) Motivation
    Shakespeare quote's might not work when examinations are near: tomorrow , tomorrow , and tomorrow. But if you say that to yourself when you plan to do revision, then most probably you are going to fail your trial.
Not even "later", anything that cross through my mind, i will do it "now"! But still, how long will this spirit lasts?
7) Be resistant to influences
    If you can say "no" to someone if they ask you for lunch,
    If you can say "no" to someone if they ask you to go out,
    If you can say "no" to someone if they ask you to ditch tuition classes,
    But as if i can say "no" to facebook, that is why things will never get perfection by rejection.
8) Be tough
    I can never practicing my Mathematics for more than 4 hours, if i over quote, for more than 2 hours i experience headache, for more than 4 hours i might have fever, for more than that i might contributing business to the nearby clinic. But now i just pray i can overcome this.
9) Write fast
    Examinations are near but still homework is a never ending story. Especially for pengajian am is a waste of time. But if i finish it faster i might have more time to arrange my revision.
10) An exercise a day keeps the clinic two days away
      Health is the most important issue now, if i get sick (touch wood) then the whole week would be wasted. So keep healthy:)

April 10- Formula One Grand Prix

2011-08-14T13:22:00.000+08:00

Formula one is the car racing sport where i never fully finished the whole 2 hours + live on television.
But in this year, my class had a trip to Sepang to watch formula one, i joined because to get more marks for my KOKO and influence from friends, where they describe the activity will be so exciting.
Well, i am very easily persuaded. By looking at the number of attendants and the way they look like when they heard this activity i made them count on me.

But whether the visit to formula one grand prix is really that exciting, lets go to the details how i spent time over there.

We take about 40 minutes bus ride to reach Sepang. When we reached there, there is nothing looks like formula one racing track. We had picnic on the road side, and we bring in water because by raising up our head we see how much body fluid will be evaporated throughout our journey.
We went to a bus station that will bring us to the place that we booked, we do not wait long, we drop by at another road side. We walked to another place, also not so look like the racing track, a long way, finally, we saw something look like an entrance. The tickets were showed to the security guard and we enter the place.
The only building i saw that able to protect us from sunshine is the public toilet. And furthermore, they said no food and drinks allowed, even our mineral water, we can only keep them outside.
Which means, we starved and thirst for almost 7 hours. Well, of course, i don't want to die, so i stolen some water bottle inside through a broken fence, i am then a thief.
So i "imported" some drinks for my friends as well "illegally" to the hill side.

After all, it should not be that bad, because the one we bought was the "hillstand" , which means, we are suppose to lay down on the hill and watch the sunshine instead of cars.
There are "Grandstand" , which means, there are seats and most importantly, the roof so that we do not end up like a roasted chicken.

We spent the first few hours to watch something not formula one. Those fancy cars racing among each other, then followed by something look like formula one but not formula one, they are not so fast.
When the time formula one came, the noise was terrible, sounds like the ear drum gonna break. However, it was amazing because i never seen any vehicles go that fast and that loud.

The grand stand, there are beautiful roofs, but too bad i can only watch it from far.
But still not many audience were present.

The best part of the grand stand.
You will able to see the whole track instead of part of the corner of the track where i have been watching for hours.

So if you are planning to buy hill stand tickets, this is how you supposed to get some sun bath.

Before the race is over we went back, because not much time allocated for us. On the way back we sees many people climb to the higher hill surrounding the area to watch at a greater height and greater view. Then at the moment i regret the way i spent RM 60.

Panorama vs Paranormal

2011-08-14T11:58:00.001+08:00

Panorama function installed in camera phones, its purpose is to capture wide range of image, the phone automatically combined the images to one wide image.

But this is how i misuse it, to become something look like paranormal.

Casio Calculators made a difference!

2011-08-14T11:52:00.000+08:00

Casio ES vs MS

I encounter a question like this: -2 exponential of -2x , substitute the value of x to be 0.
In the newer version of casio calculator fx 570ES, the displayed answer is -2.
In the older version of casio calculator fx 570MS, the displayed answer is 0.

By using normal calculations, exponential of 0 is 1, the -2 multiply by 1 is equals to -2.
fx 570 ES wins!
By the way, there is just misinterpretation occurs in the MS version, the calculator is calculating that -2 exponential of -2, then multiply by 0. So the answer displayed is 0.

Research N' Development - Calendrical Study

2011-08-10T16:49:00.001+08:00

Calendrical Study was my topic in my RnD. It tooks me few months to complete the whole research. It is really not easy, even the printer has been replaced due to too much printing job.

We work in pairs, we started the research since last year August. This is the first time i perform RnD, never have any idea about it.

The subject i am in is Mathematics, the first time our meeting, our teacher ask us what topic we interested in? In my mind, 3 things crossed over that related to Mathematics. The first one, the albuscus, whether it is really effective in calculations. The second one, Calendar's calculations, whether there is any formulae behind it. The third one, to investigate the total area of our school and its populations and determine whether we are over populated. To make our life easier, i choose the one which has less investigation so can easily performed, The calendar.

Calendrical study is all about calendars, but since i am not gonna spent my whole life on it, there is just several topics are discussed in this research.
Firstly, we study the evolution of calendars, we wanted to know why is calendar replaced over centuries? And what is the type of calendar was used by the ancient society?
Secondly, we study the different types of calendar used in our society and determine whether there is any similarities.
Thirdly, we study the formulae about to calculate the day based on the date given, and to calculate the week number based on also the date given.
Finally, we investigate whether the form 6 students find it useful in their daily lives, and find out whether they think our research is interesting.

Last Friday was my presentation. It is the most terrifying part. When comes to it then i feel that there is so much i hasn't prepared, there is so much weakness of my study that the panel of judges will just shoot me to death. So, i spent few nights to find out about calendars in great details so that i would not be embarrassed.

The moment before presentation was torturing, i feel like shitting, vomitting, headache, stomachache, but none of them happened. After all, everything's just fine. And i feel hungry after the presentation. The teachers did not ask those horrible questions as i mentally prepared. And it is kind of disappointing that so much information i prepared did not presented. Such a waste of time.

Usually, when other people are presenting at the front i would not be listening, i think that it is very boring and meaningless to listen what they found out about something. But when i myself doing it, i feel guilty. Even frustrating when i see people sleeping during my presentation.

At last, i agreed that RnD is beneficial and it is not time wasting. But too bad, my team is the last presenting group.

These are the example of slides in our presentation:

The calculations performed to calculate the day based on the given date, it is demonstrated during the presentation.

The cover page of our presentation.

About chinese calendar.

The reasons why students interested in our research.

Example of julian calendar preserved on stone.

Our limitations of research, we could not find out how the formula was created, small number of respondents could not provide accurate results,
the time given for us to present the formula is short.

A group of form six students are our target group.
The formulae were briefly described, and they performed calculations on their own. Survey was given for their opinion.

Paper Crane

2011-07-30T18:34:00.003+08:00

Discovery..
Microsoft Office Publisher 2007 introduced new template in paper folding object section. The paper crane.
But i actually do not need that guidance to fold just a paper crane. Paper folding is one of my hobby and this paper crane is just common.

Nostalgia..
Before my kindergarten age my daily routine is pretty simple. Wake up in the morning, follow my mother to morning market, come back home and have breakfast, watch her cook, play with toys, cartoon at the evening, watch drama at night. When i was a kid my mother folds paper folding objects to entertain me. Paper crane, paper balloon, paper boat, and a few more which i not interested in.

In that age i think paper folding was incredible, i feel awesome to create things from a single square piece paper. In primary school i hunt for everyone that can folds and i wish to learn more from them. However, it seems like i am the only one interested in this.

In the year 6 of my primary school, it means 2004. It was open day for parents and teachers to meet up. As usual they are not coming to see my result. As it has been bad news for years, fading up is in my expectation. Although i was the first one in class, still, due to donation purpose i am in the last class among all.
All my fellow little friends left to home, my class teacher and I remains, i told him i will just stay until class end.
To entertain me he folds me a few paper folding objects, that was awesome. He folds prawn, flexible paper crane and many more. I kept those for future reference, but not really know whether those still exists. But that was very long time ago.


My paper crane from Microsoft Office Publisher 2007

It meant more than just paper crane..
Not really know since when, she do not even remember any of these paper folding while i still spend time on doing it every once a while. Not even paper crane, she don't really remember any of it. So now i am the only one folding paper in my world.

Perhaps one day i will also forget about paper crane, forget about my childhood.
This is to remind me in the future in case i do not remember, that i was be able to fold a paper crane for myself.

Despicable Twilight

2011-07-27T15:45:00.000+08:00

A twilight saga fan? And also Despicable fan? This is for both:)

What does Red-Crescent society meant for me?

2011-07-24T14:50:00.004+08:00

Since secondary school i joined the red-crescent society, they called it PBSM, which mean persatuan bulan sabit merah. There do have activities but not much they have. And i can considered so negligible in that society, i do not held any positions, i do not involved in any competitions, i am just a little tiny member. But still, it is not completely bad because i do learn things from there instead. As when the first time i joined the first meeting of red-crescent society, that time i was 13, have no idea what is going on, that they were actually having election. To choose who to become the leaders, the president, treasurer, and from that society i learnt all these basuc principles of a society and how the members work. Also, the activities they held, that remains in my memories was, describe the history of red-crescent society, photostat the notes on how to perform different bandages, and stuffs like marching. After all, i can say it is not really interesting.

The Beginning
Never thought of it, when i first came to form 6, if they were having any extra co-curricular activities i might want to try out something new, for example scout team. However, there do not have choices and the only society they have is, the red-crescent society. Which i somehow familiar with. In the first meeting of it there was somehow different. The positions that available actually only available for certain people that the teachers chosen. I have no idea why they boycott the election. And i do not have any of it. When comes to the second meeting, they separate the members into four platoon. Where each platoon consists of 20 members. I am in platoon 1. The first day of it, i entered the classroom with no interest at all, expecting what i have to do is play balls with the ass-clown that is going to stand in front and perform lame stuffs ordered by teachers.
Not expecting of it, somehow the crowd made me to become the leader of the platoon. I feel strange, having no idea what is a platoon leader, but i knew i am the bottom of the organisation chart, which was not really a good news. The teacher-in-charge of the platoon told me there was no much things to do as a platoon leader, persuade me to accept the decision with a pleasure.
The first thing i did as a platoon leader was to collect information from the crowd on suggestion about what to do in the future of our society. I have plenty of suggestion, the secretary marked down all, included the lame ones.
Things getting so much better as time flies, I do involved in a lot of activities held. Doesn't feel as bad as last time. I attended so many meetings, shared ideas, contribute energy to the society in carry out activities. And sometimes when i see my platoon members are happy in front of me when i was conducting the lesson, i am feeling proud and satisfied.
But still nothing is perfect, in the first few lessons of my history people was no so co-operative, there was a lot for me to improve to learn to gain respect from the crowd. Including some other ajk sometimes they behaving harshly, not attending the meeting seriously. Anyhow, i learnt to change my mindset and my attitude of work to coupe with the situation form time to time. Sometimes when i have nothing to conduct in lessons, the emergency manual is my saviour.
Just like in the beginning i realise i was the bottom of the pyramid, i know i should be obedient and do my duty. So i do not express feelings, opinions, i let the upper ajk do their work and i just listen and conduct the lessons as they wished, but sometimes, when they out of ideas, or when they are failed in planning out something, they choose those who contribute the least to blame, which is me. To solve this problem, i made good relationship with all the other ajk and help them form time to time, although it is suppose to not necessary, but still, the duration of our co-operation made us good friendship in between so i do not mind of helping anyone. This make me happy to be with them.

               I learnt...
In terms of knowledge, i learnt much more compare to last time. Including first aid, to use triangular bandages on many parts of our body, to use different kind of apparatus, and learnt what to do when someone is needing help. Including cpr, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation. All these i never learnt before in my previous school life while i find this is kind of important because it save lives. It is somehow beneficial, where i might sometimes think of, if one day i met someone who is dying and i am a red-crescent society member, what can i performed to help the victim? But now, i am clear on what to performed. Also be more confident in handling injuries. Overall, this red-crescent society is an upbringing for me in this one and a half year.

                    Activities!
We do held variety of events, those memorable ones.
The first explorace, that was the first time i've involved in planning activities for people, it is not as easy as i thought, ideas, budget, sources available, venue, time, durations, weather, and attending members are all very important aspects that we should considered, which i never thought of it. That activity i was responsible for a checkpoint, test the member about arm sling, and the elevation sling before giving them the clue to proceed to further checkpoint. To avoid intersection between groups we fix the duration for each checkpoint and marks given to them according to several aspect on their performance.
The second explorace, it is a puzzle hunting events. All pieces of puzzles have been separated and distributed in every corner of the building. Hidden, and they are required to find them all, and match them as a complete part. Different group have different colours and they do not make use of other colours except the colour specified for them.
The third explorace, this is the event i hardly imagined of when the first time i heard of it. Every group design their own "hospital" with chairs and strings and newspaper, someone is suppose to defend their hospital or else we would destroy it. The other group members are suppose to go to different checkpoint, play different games, win it and get the item. We do have gambling checkpoint where they can gamble for more item. The items allocated are the apparatus of the first aid kit to complete their hospital with a given list. In this activity, my checkpoint was a word searching game. Player soak in their legs into a pail to get 9 scrabble letters and match them into a 5 letters word. We provide two different pails, one is an icy cold water which makes your feet numb and another was a pail of water with three frogs swimming happily, and they look gross.

                Change
Throughout this whole thing, what i can say is, it do play a role to change me.
I learned the way to be attentive in meetings, which is share more ideas under situations.
I learned the way to gain trust from people, both the top of the pyramid or the bottom, under situations.
I learned the way to gain respect from people, to encourage people to listen, to persuade people to give help, to ask for permissions, under situations.
I learned the advantages to be around with people involved to prevent myself from left out.
I learned to think and consider every aspect in details in planning activities.
I learned to be more confident in conducting events, under situations.

Good things do end quick

In this coming Tuesday, is our last pbsm meeting. Where my duty is hereby terminated. Goodbye ketua platun 1.
Well, the pbsm teacher allocated approximately 20 bucks for each ajk. The president bought me a pencil case. A video played regarding the events held along the year. All members given a stone drawn by the girls among the ajk. That's all.

; It wrote there: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. Thanks Buddy!

Sometimes my lord savior

Gaming, good for health:)

2011-07-11T13:29:00.001+08:00

We often heard parents not allowed video games at home, but we never heard of parents do not allowed books at home. The elder's mindset is that, gaming is an activity that wasting time of teenagers, while their leisure time should be filled with advantageous activities such as reading.

But all these are just saying, whose parents spend all his teenage life on reading?
Teenagers should be actively involved in activities but not just sitting at home and study to behave like an earthworm just to satisfy parents and the academic result.

Gaming, is also a leisure activity that exercises brain.
People do not play easy game, the harder the game, more people tend to play. Games often challenges young minds in terms of problem solving, quick thinking, and sometimes immediate responses.
It is no doubt that learning and practising a challenging task can boost mental ability, although we learn it in the form of playing games.

Counter-strike scoring table. Mine, "PlayeR"

Counter-strike for example, a popular game. Some people say that it is violent, involves killings and terrorism. But in fact, it is a medium to allow people express their violence in the form of gaming, so that we do not practice it in the real life.

Other facts about gaming. Gaming increase the level of testosterone in male gamer.
A research found that, two young male gamers are allowed to compete with each other in a game. And both are meeting a female in their age brackets. They tend to show more courtship behaviour such as smiling and telling things about themselves compared to usual. The result is not affected by the score obtained in the game.

In conclusion, play hard.

Huge man skulls, a bad joke

2011-07-10T11:58:00.000+08:00

It says that, in the desert of South East region of Saudi Arabia. A region called Empty Quarter. This place existed together with this Giant human species.
This has been spread around the world and makes people curious.

But guess what? This is actually an image submitted by a photoshop competition candidate. This Giant Human skull is fake. While some others downloaded it and make this a bad joke.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you will never graduate

2011-07-09T12:29:00.002+08:00

A statistic shown that, learn what what we have seen is less than 50% from actual information displayed, learn from what we heard is 60% from what really sounded. But to learn from experience is 80% or more and it will stay longer in our memory.

In our young age we started this form of learning. In every part of our lives there are so much to learn, we keep learning to keep pace with the problems we are going to face as we grew up.

To learn is one thing, but to really apply it in daily lives is another difficult subject. A coin is tossed and it showed head, is that mean another coin is when tossed and it will show head again? In different moment, time, subject, and people, we couldn't use the same technique from what we learnt from our experience to deal with them. We got to be flexible, but how? Sometimes we left no choice, depends on luck and our immediate response.

I am a student where i am the person who keep learning and present it in whatever ways. I have learnt different subjects but all of them have a full syllabus for me to follow and i can just make it end when i finished my examinations. But then in life although my elders have things that they have not been encounter. I know chapter is not going to end.

Gets straight to the point, i used to get involved in misunderstandings and conflicts which i am actually have no idea what's going on until they showed unpleasant behaviour and act repulsively. In the past i do not have any idea how to please them, never even think of approaching them to explain myself. Now i tried to learn from my mistakes, i explained, tell them the actual facts, calm them down, and they claim that i am finding excuse for myself. And some other people suggested that i should not even tried to explain, it worsen situations.

From my experience i always shows my seriousness when get into difficult conversations, to show my sincere in discussing topics with them. Now, i tried to hide the real emotions, and i tried to make jokes, cheer them up, but they think that i do not take things seriously.

A good attitude does not reflects good responses from people, the key is skills, how to interacts although sometimes it may be sarcastic. This is what i learnt today, will it be useful in the future? I don't know, lets find out in other days.

As a young teenage boy, one of the problems is lack of experience. I will spend more hardwork to learn from my experince but i know i will never graduate.

To get into difficult Conversations

2011-07-07T18:33:00.001+08:00

In our daily conversations, we might tell plenty of stuffs and drain out information from our brain when we feel that it is saturated. It is healthy to have conversations because it is one of the way that we express our feelings before it can get to complications. But not every conversations can be beneficial, the most common harmful conversations i've been encounter is the conversation that the person you are talking to storing information and express it again to another target that involved in the conversation. It can be dangerous because the other people have no idea of the tone, and the way the messages is conveyed.

On the other hand, sometimes we are required to say about something difficult to anyone that you may know or you may not know. And things will get worse if we make the situation become tensed, and one of the party feel uneasy and getting angry. Even if we planned the flow of the conversations, it may not goes well because people tend to have emotions, different emotions have different things that preferred to be heard.

But there are ways to manage difficult conversations, read below:-

Choose an appropriate time and place. Exercise some care when deciding when, and where, to have the discussion. Find a time when you and the other person will not be rushed and feel compelled to attend to other business or to run to another meeting. Also, select a quiet and private place for the conversation. In the book Crucial Confrontations, the authors (Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler) reiterate the importance of privacy for difficult discussions, whether those in the workplace or with a spouse or child.
Approach the other party when they are most likely to be receptive. Part of selecting the best time for a difficult conversation is finding a time when the other person will be open to the interchange. Picking a time right before a subordinate has an important deadline, for example, would not be ideal. You can always ask, “Would this be a good time to talk?”
Signal that you want a constructive discussion. Don’t assume that the other party will automatically be receptive; you need to set the stage by starting in a pleasant and non-threatening way, stressing mutual goals. This signaling may include neutral body language – for example, do not cross your arms across your chest, have a pleasant look on your face, etc. Keep your tone of voice calm and at a moderate volume.
Acknowledge the other person’s point of view. The authors of the book Crucial Conversations recommend the use of mirroring to acknowledge the other person’s point of view. With this technique, you describe how the other party looks or acts, in hopes of getting clues about their feelings. This can be particularly helpful when the individual’s actions are inconsistent with what they are expressing verbally. By acknowledging the other person’s point of view, you can convey that you are okay with their feelings and create a sense of safety.
Avoid being judgmental, by focusing on behavior and not opinions. Be conscious of how you frame your conversation. Emphasize the facts and observed behaviors, rather than relying on your own opinions or those of others. When people are judgmental, it tends to escalate already volatile situations. Heidi Burgess, the Co-Director of the University of Colorado Conflict Research Consortium, suggests avoiding accusatory language and framing discussions with “I-messages,” instead of “you-messages” as a way to minimize direct confrontation. (For example, “I felt disappointed when …” instead of “you missed the meeting again.”
Introduce difficult issues with “bridging phrases.” Before diving directly into the heart of the conversation, precede the core issue with phrases, such as “thanks for taking the time to meet with me”, or “I’ve been wanting to talk with you for some time now.”
Keep your emotions in check. Often strong emotions are stirred by difficult conversations. It is important to keep them in check. Anger can worsen an already difficult situation, and causes many people to jump to faulty conclusions and overreact. In addition, it can be a real barrier to effective communication. Phil Barker of the Conflict Resolution Consortium suggests consciously putting anger aside and planning, in advance, what you are going to say.
Watch for clues in body language. In addition to active listening, engage in active observation. Much about a person’s attitude is conveyed through body language. How are they sitting in their seat? Is there posture open or closed? Are their arms crossed over their chest? Are they making eye contact? As the conversation proceeds, continue to observe the other party’s body language. This can be a good indicator whether or not the conversation is heading in a productive direction.
Focus on future goals.One way to frame a difficult conversation is to focus on the path to the future and its goals. It can be useful to engage the other person in the process of envisioning – that is, describing what the future goals might look like. In an article on the topic, Maire A. Dugan of Race Relations 2020 suggests that future goals should be ones that all parties want to work towards and that they are willing to commit themselves to accomplishing.
Listen actively. Be sincere about wanting to listen to the other person. Also commit to being curious about their point of view and remain curious over the course of the discussion. Crucial Conversations notes that the cure to a defensive person isn’t to respond in the same way, but rather to get at the source of their emotions. Remember that it may require patience to gain a full understanding of the other person’s perspective.

Stories

2011-07-05T19:04:00.001+08:00

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Adapted from http://www.boardofwisdom.com/

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate...

2011-07-05T18:47:00.003+08:00

In our lifetime we met a lot of friends, friends who spend time with you, friends who appreciate you more than you do, friends that to grew up with you. But neither one of them i can keep for eternal. And we forget them as time passed or we made new friends. This is sad.

But in fact, we do miss our enemies a lot. We always remember what bad things people done to us. I still remember some cases where people treat me badly, although i can tell people i forgive them but i still keep it in mind and getting very emotional when i thought of it.

I am not saying that all people behave the same, maybe it is just me, maybe i am pessimistic, i wonder whether it is normal. But i am not going to consult any professionals with it. Because, this kind of thought make me survive all these years.

All because of my mind that always think of negative stuffs, i always did better than others in something called " mentally preparation". To prepare yourself to accept something awful mentally, think of what is the worst thing that may happens, then learn to accept it or solve it in other ways.

In planning strategy and events, think of the worst consequences of every single steps you taken, it is just the same as playing chess game. And to accept failure by thinking you are not the only good one.

In friendship, we are advise not to expect anyone to do anything for you because the best person that can help in situation is ourselves. As long as they respect you and willing to share stories, i considered them as friends. Only those who show disrespectful and awful behaviour and take you as granted, then those are not friends.

Try not to make enemies because they are the one always stick to our mind. Sometimes we are tired and fade up with our life just because of some person that not worthy for us to even just think about them. I wanted to live my life to the fullest and i want no regret in the future, in the very last moment in life.

Appreciate our friends, and forget about the enemies.

Rat Dissection

2011-06-26T12:05:00.005+08:00

This is my rat dissection performed in last Friday.

The objective is to identify the mammalian digestive system, and every part of it have to be drawn in order to complete the practical.
Everyone is good in something, it could be lucky if you knew. But who knows perhaps i am good in dissection? :)

But what troublesome is the drawing of the mammalian structure.

There are total six drawing have to be done. Which is the circulatory system and the digestive system. Now i realize the advance level of form 6 practical.