the world you see , the life to be

Just another typical Saturday

2017-02-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

wow wow wow, I am actually writing again.

*Spoilers: This will not be interesting unless you like to hear rants.*

Time has passed so quickly. I am now a working person, I have a fairly stable job in a multinational company with decent salary. Anyway it is nothing like what I have imagined before.

Expectations:

Come home at dusk and a nice view of an unit apartment where I can afford

Look cool all the time

Cool looking work environment

Reality:

I will never have all of them *cries*

Wake up before the sun rise, stuck in the traffic while sunrise burning my eyes through windshield, arrived at workplace which require 15 minutes walking distance from place I parked, putting down my smelly backpack on my desk which is so messed up my boss often nagged at it. Then work all day, all day long and go home when the sky is dark.

To make things even more interesting, just ordered chicken lasagna from Domino on a typical boring Saturday and the expectation vs reality is just as fun as my life.

Discovering Paint part 1

2016-07-02T23:06:00.001+08:00

Very often you struggle to find the perfect drawing in Google images to fit in your presentations or assignments, for me I used to draw my own images, before I learnt photoshop, paint.exe was my only convenient program to make them.

So this is how you draw laboratory wares in paint:

First you want to make a rounded rectangle.

Then, erase the top part of the rectangle to make an open end.
Draw two identical circles on both sides on the open ends.

Erase the circle and left only a quarter that show half a curve.

Use "curve" tool and draw a straight line, pull down both ends of it.
And there you have it, a simple beaker.

if it means a lot to you

2016-07-01T22:33:00.003+08:00

The first weekend after graduation, remembering all the previous weekends, countless days of sitting in front my computer, look out the window and enjoying the beautiful sunshine, mesmerizing in every moments of free time I could get in the weekend. Right now, I have all the free time in my hands, but I don't know what to do with them, and it surely did not feel the same anymore.

And yes that is the only reason why this post is up.

A warm coffee at my arm's reach, blazing sun warming my windows, I looking at my screen, learning all I could feeling like there is so much I have to learn to complete my projects, not to forget the amount of time I procrastinated on YouTube- That is how my final year in varsity spent.

Regrets? No, maybe not yet. That year is the most important year in my lifetime.

That heart-tingling feeling when I am not in the laboratory doing work, a sudden sense of guilt which happens to be my greatest motivation of all time, I will never forget that.

That was just two weeks ago, where my life is full of dreams, objectives, and desires.

Graduation is the process where one is rot at his home, grew fat from parents' food and watching television, and all the fire indulged in him during his degree, decayed, washed off as time passed by, and be long forgotten.

Seeking job is the process where one is enslaving himself to the greedy rich industries, letting people-who-know-nothing-but-acting-smart bargaining your price, your value, based on your academic qualification, to "sort-out" and "short-listing" candidates, by pretending you and everyone else are just numbers on a spreadsheet.

Reminiscent is the process of one recalling how great it was at the time which has past and not returning, recalling the course works he has done, how much creativity and innovative he has spent on them, the countless .pptx from PowerPoint that he has produced over his academia, now his only job is to type 2 pages of resume that describe how cheap he is to be hired and how much quality he has as a slave, uh-oh, employee!

Employment is the phase in one's lifetime where he has grown up to be a big boy, letting go all the fun he has had over the past, leaving all the great friends he has made to befriend his sarcastic colleagues, cashing out paychecks to buy food and grew fat like everyone else, and then pay even more money to subscribe to gym just to get back to the human shape he once was by having not enough money to eat.

Suddenly, now I am regret. Regretting not to live my university life to the fullest and have fun like everyday is the last day.

It might sound silly, I actually don't really like the place I have been in these 4 years, but I will never stop saying that, they are the greatest friends I have met in my whole life.

Just this one aspect (great friends) outweigh all the lazy ass technicians, slo-mo administration officer, troublesome documents processing, ridiculous university lecturers, hypnotizing lecture notes, and the crazy-hot weather. Really, they are just so great.

Sometimes I think, I would rather repeat my degree just to have another four awesome years with these awesome people.

It sounds more silly when I recalling the previous me, getting frustrated to the school, the lectures, the everything in my degree. I was ignoring the fact that I am surrounded by the nicest people I can ever find in my life.

There is no word good enough to say thanks to being my accompany on this awesome journey.

Good bye and all the best.

Watch Survivor 2015 in 7 seconds

2015-06-14T13:54:00.002+08:00

Survivor (2015) has very much less rating than I expect, sometimes people get bored about how main character so difficult to get killed and so lucky to evade so many attacks from bad guys.

Anyway, Alice is still cool.

2015-04-25T13:03:00.000+08:00

[BuzzFeed Video Share] Do Good Grades Matter?

Well well well, things go pretty different in the place I lived in. I talked about a lot of these stuffs back then, at here. But now if I were to judge from my current perspective as undergraduates.....

First let's start off from the most beginning, I scored my public examinations in primary school pretty good and that leads me to------ another public secondary school nearby my home. Not some very reputable schools because, I think it needs more than just grades, skipping the corrupted part let's just proceed.

Then, I scored flying colours, a straight A's when I was 15 in public examination. Then, it leads me to, just simply proceed at the same school studying science.

Next, I score, average I would say, it is not bad at all actually but compared to those top scorer mine is next to zero of course. And that leads me to nowhere, not even a college, because college takes a nice amount of money, not nice grades. SO, that leads me to --------- another public secondary school, also nearby my home, to study my government funded A level, with school uniforms, at 19 years old.

Then, I scored also kind of average, it is actually above average, depends on how do you compare, in my Sixth form, after that much of struggling and depressed, that leads me to pretty decent public university, almost forgotten that I got rejected by other 12 public university application beforehand.

Now in my degree programme, I learnt that:

Not to say you worked hard for your grades can give you nice jobs with good pay, but in fact I might not get a job at all if I am over insisting to stick with my specialized field.

My degree can help me to get a job with low income, similar to how much 2 years experienced low skilled labor pay.

My field is highly specialized with advanced technology anyway, but JobStreet displays not much positions that is available in this country.

Many of graduated seniors doing sales to make a living.

Some doing insurance.

Showing off my good grades makes me a nerd only, not gonna help me through anything.

The only way to pursue a path that fully utilize my skills is to continue M.Sc, Ph.D and finally work for a university. and that is one long way to go.

Good grades do not really give us good future as promising as what we were told since we were child.

The elders are wrong, yes, their opinion do not fit in this new age.

There are so many properties people owned everywhere you go you see, but there are chances I own none of them based on my income after I graduate, despite how much effort I spent since childhood.

I sacrifice my childhood dedicated to grades as what parents and everyone else wants me to do, but now I realized --

The only way to earn a fortune, is to have a good fortune

Fortune makes more fortunes

Money does multiply

Effort + Time makes a living, not a fortune

Age of Evie

2015-04-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

So before the Avengers: Age of Ultron hit the theatre and become a hot topics on the internet. Let me see if artificial intelligence is close enough to annihilate human beings in this day's technology.

We have artificial intelligence apps from Google Play Store like Cleverbot who knows many topics, as a chatting robot. But it is a paid apps so I'd rather just pay a visit to Evie, which is also a creation collaborated with Cleverbot. Let me see if she lived up to my expectations.

My conversation with Evie ends up where I found she is a sarcastic robot that sometimes didn't pay attention.

My research findings indicates that, for artificial intelligent to cause a threat to human beings, is still a scientific fantasy. For it to really happen, I would say, takes a very long time for so much improvements.

Enjoy the little things

2013-03-28T18:16:00.002+08:00

Two weeks of the part of lowest point in my life, never thought could be such happening.
People say interesting life is full of challenges, mine at this time, I call it point of inflexion. A moment that deceive ideas and thoughts that defines myself in the near future.

A moment like it often I wonder, why can't those people who are offering the problems, can't show at least some consideration? Then I shake my head around at look at some other people, they all looking as usual, and I feel myself odd. Am I the only one who feel the pressure on my shoulders? That awkward moment drives me even more mad, like for me it is completely rational, but on the public's hand it is not making sense.

I went through some pretty nice though, but most of them are near the boundary. Of course I did screw up some, this is called no one's perfect, right? However the one in today is kinda too much for me where, I thought I managed to past the critical time but end up the bad news come in and telling me that even two weeks, it aren't over yet. My face is obviously so serious and my mind is all over predictions, that what is the worst thing to happen and, what should I do.

The crisis was over after some easy strategic solution and then, I go back with the tiring soul and exhausting body. As usual I can walk the path without need to think where I walk, the air at dawn is such familiar because this whole semester I am smelling it almost everyday, with the same emotion. At a place where I walk I found a 5 ringgit note that seems it is, I look down and see carefully, it is, while no people are standing at nearby I believe the owner has gone far so I took it. For me I don't save side fortunes, so I immediately spent it for food at the nearby cafe, on the way back. I used up the change to buy two pieces of bread, one for late night while another for tomorrow's breakfast. It is a kind of satisfaction, and when I took back my 10 cent change the cashier look at me and smiled, he wished me take care.

A phrase as simple as this could be sometimes important, especially me in this moment. I feel warmt and I walk out the store with more comfortable footsteps. I believe that when man reached the moment that he is so frustrated of the live he has been going through, instead of giving him opportunity to give up, God offers some small fortune to delight him. A little moment to restore his soul balance, and encourages him to move on. A little wish meant so much. The endurance worth a lesson.

the wonder of whatsapp

2013-02-01T12:16:00.002+08:00

the wonder of messaging

2013-02-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

1 down. 7 to go.

2013-01-24T14:33:00.000+08:00

Today is 24 January 2013.
Its a beginning of a new year. I am 21 year old. Not old yet, but not too young either.

I have finished one whole semester. Yes it is almost half a year. Half a year when I think of it, it is quite long period. But when I am in it, time flies. Now is waiting another to come. Another semester. And the journey I had went through at there, I need to redo for another seven times. Then I get my degree. And I am free from education.

Education is meant to educate, gives knowledge. But in my case, which I found It is more to limiting freedom and often, it takes away things you wanted in life.

When you called somebody to go far, and stays long. Would you ever think what is the gravity of the request? The person who did so, had abandoned much things he loves and cared for. But he went and start a new life at a new place. Meeting strange people, doing strange things, at a strange place. In life I don't hope to do this a lot of times. I always prefer steady, stable life. I want the life, that when I wake up, I know who am I meeting and what am I will be doing. When I finished, I will know where I can rest. I need a place for me to relax, to release everything. I guess this is what everyone needs. The institution to request its students to stay abroad, must consider all this factors. It is not about to keep your students alive at the school you keep them, means its done deal. It was never that simple.

Back to hometown. This is the first time I came back without burden. Put everything I have there aside. I finished my semester. Now it is time to relax. Go back to places I once visited often, somethings changes, things always changes. It is the people to adapt the environment, the survival rule, I hate this rule.

The only good thing is when I travel far, and only I will know how well I can live on my own. years back then I always wondered how do I live when I myself take care of my own. Now I know how it is done. But when I fell sick it is truly terrible. The moment when you know you are at poor health, I got the feeling that survive isn't easy.

Some people said in university things to study is very easy, life at there is so relaxing. However I think most of it are untrue. I find it stressful. Subjects I am taking at there isn't easy. The syllabus is wide. The only possibilities I can guaranteed a good result, is if I could understand everything the lecturer saying within the day itself. But sometimes I wonder if she, the lecturer knows what herself is saying.

Often when we do presentation, when we speaks, we wonder do we speak in such way that the people understand. But at lectures i realized that. They speak, only expecting we find out what she is saying, not she let us know what she is saying. Okay, that is great, wonderful. I have no words to describe this. Also there are some speaking in very poor english, until people barely knows what kind of words she is pronouncing. Please, speak in the language you want, Malay? fine, malay then. Doesn't matter, still better than no-one-can-understand's English.

The people there is nice. Many of them. Maybe when we go far, we all know we should have each other's back. So we will take care of each other. This is one thing I really appreciate.

Thanks to everyone that has been kind to me.

When you reach the middle, going back and pursue further takes you the same effort.

2012-11-02T16:11:00.001+08:00

Today, a week before the middle semester break.

What I gained and What I lost.

We travelled, We live, We survived, We learnt things, We applied new knowledges, We do new stuffs, We practises new habits, We moved new places. That is life.
For years as a student from middle-income family to enrol in university is the ultimate dream. Imagination is always more fantastic than reality. And reality is always kinda disappointing.
Everyone says about missing their previous life, their old friends, their old schools, their hometown. This is nostalgic, now we compare our old places with here. Soon or later when we all graduated, we compare workplace with here, and we all miss being here. So basically when I learnt about material balances I know it is totally logic, now we lost nothing, we just gain new things, in the end the net is zero.
I lost my life with my family, I lost contacts with quite a number a pals. Now I have my own life, taking care of myself, and I got quite a new contacts as well.

How fast did time flies?

It flies real fast. Just fresh in my mind when I was still so depressed in the new environment. The first week, walking around, sleeping late, wondering when we gets done and go home. Miss all the old memories. There is a morning when I suddenly wonders what would I do if I am home. I am thinking for long, that was a fantastic morning. I checked out the cupboard seeing those stuffs from home. Took out a piece of pant that I used to wear since years ago. I feel so relieved. I put it on and I felt like I am home. Now it is the middle of semester. I am still so fresh but it is the middle already. Another same period of being blur I done this semester, and 7 more to go.

If there is any impact on me?

Yes, absolutely. Human is the intelligent creature that is so good in finding excuses. We exposed to the word culture shock in the beginning. Now I don't want to heard about it already, not even think of it. It is time to adapt ourselves fully at here. No excuses for me to perform any bad here. I just want to score, I want no regrets. I've gave out all that I had, for being here. Now I make use of it.

It's time to move on.

Right after this moment, I will do what I can do, all that I could do, and I deserve anything came in return. To the other friends out there having the same things I going through. Cheers.

reality vs expectation

2012-10-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

This is 13 October 2012.
The last month in the same date I am at the state of depression by not being well adapted to university life.
Lets see why

First thing I walked in to my hostel room, oh whaat, it's something like empty, dusty, a place that people will commonly consider dirty.

My room mate walked in, I see this: familiar face?? But I am in terrible mood I just forget about it.

The very first thing is we assemble in the nearby hall. All dressing up in formal like really a big boy. Then those bigger boys start speaking. At that moment my old friend called me that my house got broke in. This is so ruined, I am in the worst feeling and this kinda shit happens. I called my trusted nearby friend to help watching while my relatives reach that place.

First week is the worst, we just walking, sweating, waiting, listening then walking back, take shower, have lunch, then walk again, then sweat again, then listening and halfway sleeping. Then when I wake up I see people beside is still sleeping, then I sleep again. When they start clapping I realised: Oh this speech has ended! so everyone will wake up and clapping. Then the speaker is so relived that we liked his speech, in fact we love him when he decide to leave.

Second week we started to have lectures. Well lecture hall is so tiny I am glad that I am not fat. We will have to squeezed in to the seat. Then listening to the lecturers but they are just reading what they briefly type on their slides.

The moment we received the timetable I am like :

They said we need to register for our tutorials, and those times are not included in our credit units, and the lab time as well.

I quickly drop my BM and then take only 18 credit hour. well now my timetable is actually packed like hell.

Then they started have quizzes. Online quizzes, tutorial quizzes. Every time I heard of it then started shiver..

But today I did well on one of the quiz. Well they are difficult ones but at least I know it's not impossible to do.

So the next disaster is on November. A month later. Wish me good luck.

Gonna Leave

2012-08-27T14:15:00.000+08:00

By checking the previous post, realizing it has been two months I am absent here.
Two months can be a lot, depends how do we judge the two months, back to my study life two months is just
small fragments of memories. That time everyday the routine is almost the same. Now no longer studying, flexible working time allocate more things to myself. There are much things to do by myself for myself. So more things could be memorable.

Within this two months there are so many events, so many things makes me grew up by so much. I realised that sometimes we really can't always get what we wanted in life. Although we wanted it so badly, so much efforts I spent for it, it just doesn't comes. I tried everything but nothing works. Before this I do not believe in fate, always eager to find out my limitations, now I know my capabilities are so limited.

I used to believe in things can be permanent. I always prefer permanent things, I want things to last long, I want to be with my things forever. I wouldn't want to lose anyone of it. But sometimes there are things couldn't stay long no matter how hard you try to keep it. I grab it, it spill out like sand. I let go, and it still whirlwind around me makes me so wanna grab them back.

I am leaving, but I will be coming back. I am afraid of things get changes, I want things to be remained. But I couldn't. I failed to keep things. Now I wonder if I can get back things that I had back years ago when I come back.

The way I see it, there is opportunity now for me to hide and improve myself for 4 years. After that I am gonna come back to here and get back what I used to had again.

11 June 2012

2012-06-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

It has been a week I am not working in the publisher's office. My absence is not my decision but the editor asked me not to go. I did confirm with him almost everyday asking him whether the following day my job is ready. Sometimes he might reply very late, other times he reply even later. The first time the reason he mentioned when he asked me not to go, he said the manuscripts were not ready. I think he bluffs. Although I am new but the job that I have been following does not involve any work called the manuscripts.While this week I am not informed whether I am working, or not working. So I text him again and asked, and his cell was off. So I acquire his other number and asked, he picked up the first time and said " hello" , followed by children screaming sounds and then another "hello" few times, then he hang up. Well, that was not new. Maybe he forgotten he use the same shit on me before, he always pretend cannot listen to phone calls when I ask him stuffs. Then he called me in the morning and he said, he was up to something yesterday night, so he could not respond to me properly. Then today he was out to deal with another things. So I am not working. And that time is already 9 something in the morning. He himself is not going to the office.

Well, those are mine. For my friend he do have different statement. The reason after we discussed why he afford to do such mistakes, is because we always acted like we are not really that close to each other in the office, now it seems its worked. He told my friend, he cannot pick up the call because he was driving, he cannot reply messages because his inbox was full, he asked him not to work for the first week because : You should focus more on your exam. Then he following week is because, he got no jobs for us to do.

It doesn't mean we solved the problem, we still gonna stand-by for his call and get ready to work anytime he calls. I don't know whether I am really working.

Thinking back, my friend told me I might not really suitable for office working life style. The reason he mentioned in the first place is, because I talked back to him when I get not satisfied with him. But I argued that I did not talked back, it is just that he asked me question, so I answered. He asked me question in the sense of provoking. And my friend told me I respond him with anger too. I honestly do not know why is it an issue, anger is in everyone, just depends when is the threshold for people to unleash. Of course no one likes to be provoked. Fight back is just the common sense for defensive purpose. Although he is the superior, but I just think my job is to help him get his job done. Not to be his punching bags. Anyway I have tried my best to be as obedient as I could. But things got messed up. Eventually there must be effects.

Perhaps I have got to admit I got bad attitude, without realizing by myself I'd say harmful things to people. Old friends know me, but new comers don't. No matter it is when working or just socializing, the problem do exists. Most of the time when things get messed up I do not know how to react, and it leads to more problems. But when I do not react it seems inappropriate. It is truly difficult to decide how to respond to situations.

People might thought i should have go back to sell printers full time. But there are things they never know. Just like the last weekend there is customer that we pissed each other. Eventually I claim I won as he failed to challenge. That doesn't make me feel proud, but make me feel silly to crap with assholes. I might have wasted time and intelligence to deal with that worthless piece of shit. In the end stuffs are gone, and I am just lucky because there are way to settle without hassle to cover the losses.

So as time passed my life getting less oriented. Until I can go back to studies, at least being a student we know we should studying. Not like working nowadays, I am working but I don't know whether I should working.

Retirement plan

2012-06-04T14:27:00.001+08:00

Its like a repetition, thinking about the reason I quit my job after SPM I found it is quite similar to the reason why i am planning to quite ALL the jobs and have my peace back.

That time I was working as a promoter selling outfits, then my other friends are also working something similar, in terms of job scope and paid. Which is 5 bucks per hour. Then I cannot believe myself is working in an office doing publishing work which is also same paid after another 18 months of studying.
I said I am graduated from STPM, but in the employers' mind I am just another jobless young man need to earn pocket money. I always cant wait to get into university already. So I blame the ministry to delay all the works. Imagined after SPM I have half a year free time. And after STPM I have almost 8 months. I've wasted more than a year already. Where they don't know how precious is a year. Wasting time and " sedang diproses" is their favourite quotations.
Thinking back that time I email to the ketua pengarah about the timetable. It is obvious that they messed up the typings of kertas 1 and 2 . Just not to admit its their fault and they wouldn't want to change it. He reply me a mail with several excuses where I analysed it long enough, found out that he is telling nonsense.
Waiting for his reply I remembered I waited 2 weeks. Then my friend told me that, he took 2 weeks to write a mail without proper points. How we could write 8 essays in a day then?
Most if not all, students are waiting for the public intake first before they consider whether to enter private but now the public intake result is later than private universities registration. The government will only care about election but never think about the citizens.

My first planning was to quit in the end of month July. Then have a month holiday. And get prepared to continue my studies. But after all this havoc at my workplace I think I can hardly survive a month. So the plan should be a month earlier. Two months holiday then.

Bad to Worse

2012-05-31T21:58:00.001+08:00

So the sales field was not interesting after all, in fact it was energy consuming.
The travelling part is ridiculous. Where I am just one low income promoter and I got to move around and held events, give supports and reach sales targets.
Talk about working hours I think this job suitable for machine, but not human. And I slowly draw myself out of this job, going to be retired soon.

And for all those previous months I looked at my other friends I see how they enjoyed their work, and sometimes even open facebook while working. I am kind of envy, and I chose to applied one after I changed my sales job to part time.

Initially the expectation was quite high as I was thinking I might work in the office peacefully, where there would not be any random people yell at you to ask you repair printers, and I expect there would not be phone calls and meetings from manager tell you how many you should sell for today.
What I was thinking I about to do is, typing stuffs on the computer and sometimes do some simple thinking. Counter boredness and waiting for the clock to spin.

Where the first day of work it went quite well, quite close to the expectation where I type alot, and writing, do simple thinking. Also some readings before I understand what was that stack of paper is about. After I finished my task then only I report to my manager. I was feeling so relaxing. Although it was just the first day but the time was not so hard to pass.

Until all the jobs are gonna finished and I started to wonder what am I gonna do next. So the manager pass us one confusing task. With the blur instructions are given we carried out the task foolishly. It costs us exhausted. And sometimes even frustrated that we never know what exactly he wanted. And where exactly we going to get what we want. So after a few delay, corrections, and touching ups we managed to finish it in almost more than a week.

And right after the task is finished, we hardly can just finished it. Another similar task, with higher work loads and less information to fits in. Then it became really a nightmare. The manager gets so frustrated that he became so tempered, and giving out pressures just to make us finish it up quickly. I always had my own motivation and planning so this is the biggest enemy for me. Days are getting harder and the relationships between the manager and staffs getting worse.

It reaches the level such that, I have almost forgotten when is the last day I used to work peacefully without unnecessary pressure and scoldings. Since my part time sales job is also getting to become my second nightmares.

I strongly believe that there are no easy money to earn. I would never listen to anyone that talk to me about direct sales, quick money. All that are just entertainment that I would choose to listen when I was too bored but now I prefer if they lost contact with me.

Life in no direction

2012-05-01T13:14:00.000+08:00

After I finish my examinations I do not think I did anything meaningful so far, I barely know my life is without direction on the last day of examination.

There a plenty of us started working, to earn some income to make ends meet but in my case working isn't as interesting as study life. Most probably the reason is due to the position that I am in. I am just a chess piece of the management of the big company help them to face messy issues that they don't want to. Then most of the time I have to do things that I am not fully agreed to it. After all no matter how much effort spend on my job, I did hard work because I wanted to do things perfectly but, I am still a salesperson that people think my job is spend time walking and loitering the area.

But if I am not working there is nothing much I can do at home, and I always hate to stay alone at home. It makes me depressed, and sometimes people must be given something to stress about so that my brain will never turns to rotten egg. I don't want to bake cookies at home, I don't want to pose with chipsmore, so I will still working, perhaps another job.

There is once where I am waiting for my lunch set at McDonald's , beside me there were two middle-aged women with few children, I am not interested to their background but their discussing topics attracts my attention.
First they are talking about colleges, they mentioned Taylor's, Monash and many other private institutions. Then I started looking at their children, I am sure they are not even secondary school age. But what makes them started tertiary studies topics is that, they are starting to save money so that their kids will one day enter college. One of the women doubt that, what if the child do not poses average result, and do not fulfill the entry requirement? Then another women replied, there is nothing to fear, there are still job opportunities out there for non-educated people, just like those doing sales up there. Their job is just do some talking, maybe they barely can write. I am thinking on my own, am I?
Secondly they compared salesperson with those office workers. They said those working in office sure posses higher qualification. It reminds me the reason why most of the customers hardly believe in facts that I would like to share with them about my products. Combined with many other experiences since I started working, I decide quit doing sales.

The main difference in working outside and school studying life is that, school provide room to perform while working, it is very much limited by the ability they given to me. And the main thing I should do is just following orders.

There are still similarities, that everywhere, everyone is looking for performance. If I fail to perform, I am not worth to be concerned. It is proven that, where I do not score really fantastic colours in my STPM, and it seems I have no relations to that school at all. Compared to some scholars, they received phone calls from teachers, asked them when they free to receive award, and many other events. And I am absolute negligible. For a post graduated students, we are either hero, or zero.

The form six registration is coming soon. There is another new batch of fresh birds entering my former school. It reminds me of myself when I do registration, I was in full confidence until the first time I took the examination. I am sure they have much to go through, whatever they are going to get in the end of their studies I wish them may all the them enjoy their school life.

Working experiences...

2012-04-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Without much realising I have been already working for four months, In the beginning I never thought that I will be able to hold that long but in fact I done it already.

In the beginning of my job I was keep complaining of my salary, I expect to earn more actually but I have no other available choice that I could earn more, so I continue selling printers. The products I have to learn is just very little, I just have to be familiar with what the printers can do, but the limitation of my study is very narrow, where I don't really got the chance to operate the big machines but I got to brief it to the customer with confident. But my curiousity still warm, I am wondering about the computers. I always wanted to learn more about the computers but I have only one laptop and I couldn't sacrifice it for my learning, but in that place I could use the display laptops to do formatting, installing windows, softwares, fix bugs, and the best thing is they willing to teach me whenever I asked them.

That is one of the good thing I working at there, the people there are more easy to deal with, different from the other dealers who like to act boss and show attitudes.

I have been to few trips throughout this few months, the first one was to MidValley IT fair, my experience there was okay, although it was tiring, but it was the first time I went to a PC fair, not shopping, but working.
From there the earnings were satisfying, including allowance and commission, its almost equal to two weeks salary.

The second one was to Petaling Jaya Digital Mall SS14, I went there for a local fair for a week. The sales not really good, and it is kinda boring. Everyday I was hoping the week to end quick. I was not enjoying much there.

Then I went to One Utama Jusco local fair, its a J card day. The place is really crowded. I work there for only two days, and it was really bad experiences. On the first day I already have quarrel with the assistant general manager, the reason is because I was late, but I was meant to late, it was my result day! I trying to help out but they seems not really appreciating it, so I too not really enjoying myself over there.

The recent one is at KLCC exhibition centre. That was the toughest, we have targets, we have own company's competition and other brands competition. There is no way to take out competitors, they called it fair competition but it was actually the superiors want us to fight among each other and they are the one who benefits. But there is really an amazing place.

Before I was going to resign, tomorrow is going to MidValley again for J card day. I was going to meet back those jack-ass again, but, what to do, I never can decide things for myself here. Just wait and see....

Now my turn...

2012-04-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

Well browsing through so many other people blogs and read so many emo posts, mostly about studies, and future.

I think they think too much, Just relax and deal with it :)

so in case I forgotten which courses I applied, this can be future reference.

There are courses out there sounds great, many people wanted to do medicine and pharmacy, and I always thinking why they all think the same?

This coming Saturday is the date for MunSyi exam, they called it. It means something like exam to get into the university. Then I don't know why people worried how to get there, so not independent, at the age of 16 I alone went KL and find my way to tuition and back home.

Gaming...

2012-03-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

This is counter-strike portable version, the application size is just 74MB, but some features are not available.

My skydrive's shared folder

2012-03-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

https://skydrive.live.com/redir.aspx?cid=a2c9df2d84a6b20e&resid=A2C9DF2D84A6B20E!165&parid=A2C9DF2D84A6B20E!163&authkey=!AANPWI7fafW7syc

That is the end of STPM

2012-03-17T22:40:00.001+08:00

My result was out on last Wednesday. Frankly speaking the anxiety doesn't came very much at the beginning, I only started to feel nervous two days before 7th March.

First reason that makes me nervous is that, I have forgotten how I done my paper, I have no idea how the result going to be. If I refer back to what I got in the previous exam, I feel terrible, I did not done well in all the previous exams.

Also, referring to the qualifications demand for local university intakes. It seems like there are no where else I could go if I did not get a minimum cgpa of 3.00 except the Sabah & Sarawak. Well I hate to study in the middle of forests. I did not hope to get into courses that they call it popular. No medicine, no dentistry, no pharmacy. Those are courses all the people try to enroll in and no room for me to fits in anyway.

I try to calm myself down in several ways, watching tv, listen songs, but the best among all is to face it. I felt comfortable when I discuss with friends about we are going to take our results and the problems we are facing. That makes me felt not being alone.

The result day

I woke up very early in the morning, I remember my father outside shoo the cat, that woke me up. I wake up, I grab my phone on my left and I realize its too soon to wake up. That day itself I have to go to One Utama as I transferred there for two days, I never been there before, kinda worried if I go wrong way, but the biggest worry come before it.

The main reason I try to sleep as late as possible is that, the more I waiting, the more nervous I became. So I sleep as much as I can, until one level that I really couldn't sleep anymore. When I wake up, as usual think of what is going to happen and what I am suppose to do, I barely can think what my result will became, even harder to imagine how my face will turn if its not 3.00.

First thing I did was, I went online and check whether my result is there on the website, well, it is so unpredictable, I was hoping that I could knew it earlier so I can prepare myself mentally. And make sure I do not overwhelmed when I got my result.

But the result is not ready, while I found other things online, my friends asked me to meet up first, that was brilliant idea, and I asked other friends to join too.

Halfway we are talking my phone rang and don't expect its from my sister. She is asking about my result, which is the one thing all of us trying not to think about it after thinking too much about it. So I just answered I haven got it yet.

We went to school, we enter the room, the room feeling more cold than usual, I walked in pretending very calm and my friend started to get very nervous. But there was very few people there, unlike the last time I take result, I always the late one.

The beginning part was done very well by the teachers. They have analyzed all the data, their faces look very cherish, it calms me down. Generally our results have been improved, that is our efforts. But the art stream improved more, I am feeling proud for them as well. They asked the first 10 top scorers to go on stage, deep inside my heart I knew I am not one of them.

Then come the climax, the rest of us are asked to collect our results from our class teachers, I walked there my hand grabbed firmly, no matter what comes out I will accept it with open heart I promised myself, and I prayed to god that please let me shines.

I reached the table there was a friend in front of me, Me and him are very alike most of the time, by looking at his emotions I saw myself, I am also scared but I wanted to make it quick, can't wait any longer. I took my file, then grab my result it was sealed properly. Good, so no one will grab my slip and read it before me. I and another friend, we used to have very near pointer for all our exams, now its time to find out. We tear the sides very carefully, I accidentally damaged one side, then we open together.

The moment I saw the result it makes me very nervous, they do not display the cgpa, they display pointer for each subjects, I can never count properly when I get nervous, I was looking for calculator seems like no one has it. My sister call me just on time, I asked her to count but my friend's brain works faster than my sister's fingers. I got my cgpa, its 3.1675.

I was satisfied, very satisfied, and finally I get a pointer more than 3.00 after so much efforts I worked hard on it. That result is what I have been hoping since the first day I enter sixth form.

time to move on

I went home my parents don't seem very happy about it. I expect it already, I know they will never satisfy with whatever I got. But it doesn't matter, I know I did great job, very great job.

So I applied for courses I interested in, finally I get the chance to study whatever I think useful to me. I am excited, I hope all the best to myself for whatever coming next, I will face all challenges just like I always did.

Chess Titans

2012-02-27T00:29:00.001+08:00

Sometimes people ask why I took so long to finish up chess game?

My friend told me a real professional doesn't have to finish up all the pieces to win the game, but I was never an expert...

Real Life Isnt Perfect

2012-02-20T02:31:00.000+08:00

Working for a big company is an honour but how good could it be if without promotion and attractive salary?
I spent two months in the small hole doing small business, but I will never commit that things I have learnt from there is any lesser compared to doing "big" business with "big" people.
Dealing with big people isn't easy, they do not say friendship or humanity, they say benefits. Compared to the "small" business I used to do, I love the way we interact, helping each other to solve problems, and taking care of each other with true sincerity.
In fact, I hate the way currently which we all try to earn more than each other and stealing opportunities. Also the way the superior communicate with me with a little psychology trick that play up your mind, and grab some benefits from me. As long as I am still a little useful to him, I will still be one of his chess piece. It should be quite secured but I expected more.
As long as there is a player manipulating my game I would not have the chance to get over the player and do something big. But if there is player manipulating me and ask for my contribution which does not compensate my benefits from it. What I can say is, I am totally unhappy.
I am not too young or immature but I stand still on my perception that true sincere wins realistic mind.

To Deal With Outside People

2012-02-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

Now, we discuss about what kind of people we usually met outside and how we respond towards them.

Those are experiences that I earned from being a salesman.

Customers with difficulty level: Easy

They come by and stopped. Looking at my products, then take initiatives to ask me questions, and pay attention when I am talking, asking me back when he is not understand.

Customers with difficulty level: Moderate

They come by and stopped. Arms crossed, looking at my products, did not respond when I introduce myself, did not pay attention when I was talking. A few minutes later, come back and ask me to repeat myself again, and ask to compare between all the products, then only made his decision.

Customers with difficulty level: Difficult

They bring along their laptops and ask me to help them do the installation. Then challenge me with all the question, make sense or does not make sense, until one that I cannot answer, and they feeling satisfied.

Customers with difficulty level: Insane

Species 1:They bought my product and come back one day later, saying that some accessories are not included, request for those that he claimed missing, but actually looking for spare parts. If refused, he threatened me by complaining to the customer service.

Species 2:They bought my product and come back the next day. Introduce themselves by cursing the product. Then say to other customers that they should not buy my products, and request me to see what is wrong with the product, but actually he does not even know how to use it.

If you << know how difficult my job is, then increase my salary, thank you.