The Worst Adults I Know

Commentary - The Goonies

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 11:00:00 +0000

The boys have long held that The Goonies is a bad movie. And for their entire lives people have been telling them they are wrong. So for their encore commentary they sit down to watch Richard Donner's 1985 treasure hunt "classic" to prove once and for all that they were right... You're welcome.

(Movie begins at 16:50)

Also, make sure to check out our bonus commentary for Cyndi Lauper's music video "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough" over on our website! Part 1 of the video can be found here, and part 2 here.

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to the making of The Goonies, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, there's a whole back catalogue over on the site! Follow us for updates on our next grand adventure, Quantum Leap of Faith!

Episode 100 - What Kind of Day Has It Been?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 18 Feb 2018 11:00:00 +0000

Having exhausted every good idea over the course of the first 99 episodes (and the 27-ish commentary episodes, the Star Wars miniseries, the Fast and the Furious miniseries, the pilot for their next venture, and some other random sidesteps), the boys are left with only the show itself to talk about. So enjoy this very special, very narcissistic, totally not requested Behind the Music-style episode.

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this week's (or any week's!) episode, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, there's a whole back catalogue over on the site! Follow us for updates on our next grand adventure, Quantum Leap of Faith!

See you soon!

[Cue "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds... You know, from The Breakfast Club...]

Episode 99 - Sweeping Bad

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 11 Feb 2018 11:00:00 +0000

The boys might be closing up shop, but they're not going to pass up another opportunity to ruin sports. So this week they celebrate the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics by oiling up, quizzing each other, and reinventing just about every sport in this year's competition.

Talking Points:

Deicide! (00:00)
Coach John Candy! (08:06)
Harding/Kerrigan memories! (10:13)
Another Olympics quiz! (17:25)
Fast Nine Your Seat Belt! (23:36)
How many Russians? (27:41)
It's Bobslay time! (30:33)
Mascots! (40:24)
Curling up with a good sport! (46:20)
Basketball on ice! (55:05)
Have gun, will play sports! (1:00:12)
Olympic-level trash talk! (1:04:25)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this week's episode, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 98 - National Treasure: Horse of Secrets

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 11:00:00 +0000

we thought we should do something big for our final mailbag episode: So we shot ourselves into space! And boy howdy does that narrative not at all get abandoned fast! This week we spend millions on nostalgia, strand a horse on the moon, fight characters from Gilmore Girls, swear, and reflect on our early days!

Talking Points:

Family Matters: Life on the Streets (00:00)
Space oddities! (06:59)
Moon horse! (12:15)
Star Hollow defenders! (21:37)
A million-dollar dilemma! (30:58)
A Nick kid wonderland! (35:41)
Coulda, shoulda, woulda! (42:36)
Adam's big swear! (48:09)
Let's get political! (49:49)
Pros and cons: Independence! (53:09)

Closing Arguments

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Thu, 01 Feb 2018 00:53:55 +0000

Hey, folks!

So… we're ending the show.

Now… don't riot just yet. We've got some more words. And some good news at the end. So stick with us!

We started this show back in April of 2015 when both our lives were radically different. We've had a blast chatting into these mics for close to three years now, and have been honored to have you along for the ride (we honestly could not have made this without you). But as we have approached the arbitrary landmark that is Episode 100 and as our lives have grown bloated with work and other adult bothers, it has become increasingly clear to us that it's time to move on to other projects. We've grown a lot, and we've laughed a lot, and honestly we're surprised we've made it this far (or that we actually did it at all). But life is hectic… and we're basically out of ideas. So The Worst Adults I Know podcast will be coming to an end.

By the end of February we'll mostly have things wrapped up. We'll be doing another three-ish episodes and a commentary, at least. We're going to be doing one last mailbag episode this week, so if you have any questions and topics you've been dying for us to address, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Couple of Things:

The main podcast feed will remain up as far as we know. In some fashion. Because it would be a shame if our eight days-worth of recordings vanished from the Internet.
If you're a Patreon contributor, we're cutting off billing at the end of February. So no need to do that yourself. If you are still awaiting tier rewards, they'll come your way. (It's a little unclear right now if all the hours of bonus stuff will stay up there or not, but we'll find a new home for it if not.)
The final commentary will be The Goonies. Because you're welcome.
You haven't heard the last of us! See below! Immediately!

Don't worry, we're not done with podcasting. We wouldn't just leave you high and dry with the other million or so podcasts you could be listening to instead of us… No! We're much too vain for that. We need you. And we need you to keep putting our dumb voices in your beautiful ears. So keep your eyes on the socials for the release of Quantum Leap of Faith, our would-be fancast where we will be watching through the entirety of the television program Quantum Leap. It's going to be fun whether you are a fan of the show or not. We promise.

So that's that. The show's ending, but from its ashes will rise a Scott Bakula-shaped phoenix… So NBD. As Adam likes to say, "It's been real. It's been fun. It's been real fun." And the fun is only just beginning.

Smell you Sunday, suckers.

With love,

Adam and Matthew,

the worst adults you know

Commentary - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 11:00:00 +0000

The boys were minding their own business - just eating candy bars and gossiping about that old factory on the edge of town - when BAM! Golden ticket! Now they'll have to square off against a psychopathic candy mogul for your attention... because they're watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!

(Movie begins at 11:24.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to the making of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (even Roald Dahl!), and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 97 - Whose Hands Are These?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 21 Jan 2018 11:00:00 +0000

We're all getting older, but the boys are at that stage where they're starting to notice it. And they don't like it. This week they implant magnets in their hands, correct their terrible posture, disguise themselves to escape youths, allow themselves feel (finally), and explain away their inability to be up to date on hip lingo... all in an attempt to stave off the inevitable.

Talking Points:

New America is at war! (00:00)
Tennis balls and internets! (06:56)
Brain slugs! (10:10)
Hand upgrades! (13:52)
Overexertion! (20:42)
Learning to feel! (26:11)
Dress the part! (32:20)
Outdated lingo! (38:39)
You're so fragile! (43:04)
New diet! (55:15)
Imposter signal! (59:00)

as always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this week's episode, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 96 - The Butter Hole

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 11:00:00 +0000

No one has ever praised the boys for their interior design choices. And rightly so. So it should come as no surprise that their attempts to improve their living spaces in this hour lead to battling mutants, showering with houseplants, ruining a dorm, and rebooting Home Improvement. Bob Vila would be so proud.

Talking Points:

A Taylor Family reunion! (00:00)
Wood 2: Hyperwood! (05:56)
Lose a wall, gain a speakeasy! (14:17)
How to hang? (20:49)
House plants: fake v. dead! (29:18)
Water woes! (37:30)
Shock therapy! (46:43)
Light up your life! (48:42)
Adam's bed sheet soap box! (56:58)

And remember: Safety third!

Episode 95 - You Do You, Solid Dog

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 17:42:02 +0000

Remember 2017? Adam doesn't. This week finds the boys grasping for ANYTHING to talk about from last year... and failing spectacularly as they try to hype 2018.

Also, Matthew got a dog!

Talking Points:

Inverting the Earth! (00:00)
New Year's Baby vs. Nazis vs. the Disney Vault! (5:15)
Future toilet terror! (11:12)
The (fake) root of all fake news! (14:15)
Newborn celebrities! (18:50)
Fun Time Larry! (25:30)
Au naturale fashion! (28:43)
The best movie of 2017! (34:18)
In Thanos we trust! (40:15)
Moviepass: Matthew's downfall! (44:28)
A dog named Stilts?! (46:40)
Big ups! (56:08)

Commentary - Jumanji

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 11:00:00 +0000

What's that mysterious drumming sound? Why it's 1995's Jumanji! Just in time to take advantage of your renewed interest in this family-friendly Robin Williams adventure (thanks to the very fun, tangentially-connected Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (in theaters now!)), the boys are here to goof and gab their way through this pseudo-classic.

(Movie begins at 20:14.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to the making of Jumanji, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

See you in 2018!

Christmas Clips!

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 17:25:22 +0000

In celebration of the holiday season Adam is trying to instigate a grass roots witch hunt to out Matthew as Father Christmas!

Huddle in close for the investigation of past recordings ranging from episodes 64 to 73!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing their favorite moments, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Christmas Commentary - Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Christmas

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 11:00:00 +0000

In the final of their seasonal TV watching episodes, the boys force friend of the show Jordan Rousseau to watch Jim Henson's 1977 buzz kill, Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, with them. So grab some tissues, pop in the DVD, and get ready for some sad otter drama!

(TV special begins at 12:10.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, Jordan Rousseau for joining us for this episode, the creative forces behind Emmett Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Christmas Commentary - Frosty the Snowman / How the Grinch Stole Christmas

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 10 Dec 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Adam is visiting Matthew, and when they're not making Christmas cards (for their Patreon supporters) or eating German food they're tackling 2D with two more holiday classics... Frosty and The Grinch! These two tales of kidnapping, murder, fraud, noise pollution, and rampant consumerism are sure to impart the Christmas spirit on all who watch!

(Frosty the Snowman begins at 18:13.)
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas begins at 48:24.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this week's episode, the creative forces behind Frosty and The Grinch, animation in general, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Stay frosty, Grinches!

Christmas Commentary - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 03 Dec 2017 11:00:00 +0000

The Holidays are nothing if not busy, but the Worst Adults don't compromise. Ever. So for the next couple of weeks they're going to be doing some special Christmas-y commentary episodes, while also discussing listener submissions about favorite holiday entertainments.

To start things off, they're watching the most classic of classics: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And they're finding out that being a reindeer isn't all it's cracked up to be...

(TV special begins at 11:46.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this week's episode, the creative forces behind Rudolph, claymation in general, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Commentary - Home Alone

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 26 Nov 2017 11:00:00 +0000

It would be weird if we did a commentary for Die Hard again (as much as Matthew would like to)... so we're doing the family-friendly version instead: Home Alone. Think about it. Uncharacteristically motivated burglars... A wry, resourceful protagonist... Crappy parents... Airplanes... Useless cops... Escalating violence... Two word titles... And a Christmas motif to top it all off. Same movie. Except the violence in this one is more realistic and hurts us deep in our souls! Let's watch together!

(Film begins at 18:37.)

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Episode 94 - Jeans for Liberty

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 19 Nov 2017 14:13:12 +0000

This week the boys explore everything there is to be thankful for in this whole wide world, and on the way they discover their true calling to honor their jeans of legs past by repurposing them to make sure Lady Liberty is ready to fight if anyone brings their unthankful attitudes to our beautiful shores! If you managed to keep up all the way through that sentence, then we're very thankful to have you along for the journey!

Talking Points:

A Map to Thankfulness (0:00)
Sincerely, Matthew (3:25)
Developed Human Brains (5:16)
Happy Birthday, Get Well Soon (7:30)
Rick Astley's Macy's Spectacular (10:58)
All the Small Things (13:55)
Finding Nature's Pocket (16:18)
Jeans, the Perfect Camouflage (20:06)
Lady Liberty Needs Some Jeans (22:55)
Earth's Last Line of Defense (28:10)
What Are You Thankful For? (33:07)
Christmas Songs Are Here to Stay! (37:37)
A Stoppable Force Meets an Immovable Shirt Guy (41:38)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Episode 93 - Reginald the Season Goblin

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 12 Nov 2017 11:00:00 +0000

This week the boys are doing unforgivable mouth crimes in yet another attempt to celebrate flavor. After ruining pumpkin spice for themselves forever last October, they choose this holiday season to widen their nets to all seasonal flavors... with the help of a very special Christmas creep! Along the way they learn some dark truths about elf diets, protest salted caramel, and make their stomachs thoroughly unhappy!

Talking Points:

Yet another Reginald! (00:00)
The other Pumpkin King! (06:39)
Cranberry dippin'! (08:32)
Flavor failings! (11:57)
Peppermint prevalence! (17:00)
Apple bottom Peeps! (33:53)
Headless gingerbread men! (45:40)
Fun with fruitcake! (47:53)
Benjamin Franklin's Sleepy Time Soda! (54:26)
Cocoa overload! (58:30)
Eggnog is truth! (1:04:05)

Episode 92 - Schadenfreude Absolutely

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 11:00:00 +0000

This week the boys get real serious about what the funniest thing is... and in the process pull some bad pranks, read some bad jokes, take some bad public transportation, spend time with clowns, badmouth comic strips, throw Jon Heder into a volcano, and reinvent a beloved British romcom! What conclusions do they come to about humor? You'll have to listen to find out!

Talking points:

Waiting for the funnies! (00:00)
Seinfeld, past tense! (05:21)
Why the chicken crossed the road! (08:37)
Keep goofs secret, keep goofs safe! (13:18)
Laffy/Lady Taffy! (22:13)
No good prank goes unpunished! (27:33)
Cat videos! (34:55)
It's all schadenfreude! (37:26)
Lightning round! (46:29)
Puns! (48:55)

Insert pun here!

Commentary - Sleepy Hollow

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Tim Burton is anthropomorphized Halloween. You know it. We know it... So this month we're talking over his 1999 adaptation of Washington Irving's classic short story. Join us if you dare!

(Film begins at 15:14.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to the production of Sleepy Hollow, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 91 - Don't Touch That Dial

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 22 Oct 2017 10:00:00 +0000

The kids are back in school, but the freshmen class we're interested in is what's new on TV this Fall! In this super-sized episode Adam and Matthew break down some of this season's hottest offerings... which, well, leave a lot to be desired! So fire up that cathode ray tube, adjust those rabbit ears, and exploit that free CBS All Access trial while you still can, because we have a lot of broadcast ground to cover!

Talking Points:

Netflix with chills! (00:00)
CBS distress! (04:29)
TV habits! (14:00)
Star Trek: Discovery! (23:01)
Neo Yokio! (32:16)
Big Mouth and The Magic Schoolbus Rides Again! (40:28)
Ghosted! (46:41)
The Mayor! (52:28)
Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Brothers! (59:02)
Kevin (Probably) Saves the World! (1:07:40)
Young Sheldon! (1:17:40)
Me, Myself, and I! (1:27:47)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone out there who makes television, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Just be glad Adam forgot to watch Marvel's Inhumans... because there could easily be another hour of discussion about that raging garbage fire alone.

Episode 90 - Adventure Squad

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Sometimes you want to be alone. Sometimes you want to be in a group. Sometimes you want both. Being human is stupid. Now get on the Ferris wheel!

Talking Points:

Fax slug! (00:00)
Alone in the dark! (03:46)
MMORPGs, with emphasis on the MM! (07:53)
Time anxiety! (11:52)
Preferred brain chemistry! (22:03)
Group projects suck! (27:49)
Exotic meats! (32:21)
Adventure squad goes to Kartapalooza! (35:19)
A Concert for one (feat. Paul Simon)! (39:26)
Group memory! (43:46)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this episode, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

(The "V" is for "Vs." ... Acker and Blacker's Deadpool v Gambit was very good.)

Episode 89 - Ghost Bros

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 08 Oct 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Under the assumption that things would get all ghouls and goblins-style spooky, the boys set off to talk about Halloween frights... but discover that real life is far spookier than fiction. Along the way they discuss the merits of jack-o-lanterns, pit the ghost of John Belushi against ghost-like Bill Murray, refuse to fall, avoid primates, embrace snakes, and try not to be so vane!

Talking points:

Fearless fellas! (00:00)*
E.T. strikes back! (03:47)
Puzzling pumpkins! (05:32)
Ghost tats! (10:04)
The coolest ghost! (13:23)
Monkey business! (18:46)
Worst ways to fall! (32:30)
Snaaaaaaaaaaakes! (38:14)
Hidden tracks! (43:45)
Mirror maidens! (45:05)
Show artist Dracula! (55:17)

*The NPR and Ricky Martin goofs mentioned in this opening can be found in this week's bonus content on Patreon! Contribute now to access these exorcised moments!

Episode 88 - Joust 2*

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Fall is here, and the fresh air is calling! So this week the boys dive deep into the world of sports spectating... And by deep we mean both have recently been and have a lot of feelings about stadium food and how to completely overhaul various athletic competitions! Plus, they randomly put the TWAIkN seal of approval on a couple of very lucky sports teams!

Talking Points:

What's in your garage? (00:00)
The Big Hands Trap! (04:58)
Rethinking sports surfaces! (08:00)
Baseball! (11:00)
Soccer! (14:42)
Lame sponsors! (23:23)
Rivalry woes! (26:36)
Random fandom! (31:08)
Jousting! (36:39)

Go team or whatever!

Commentary - The Matrix

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 24 Sep 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week the boys free their minds and discover that being outside the Matrix isn't all it's cracked up to be! Join them as they talk over Morpheus and the gang in the Wachowskis' 1999 instant classic The Matrix.

(Commentary begins at 9:55.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to the making of The Matrix, God for creating steak, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 87 - Every Day Is a Miracle

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 17 Sep 2017 10:00:00 +0000

In the wake of Mother Nature's wrath, the boys are back in their shorty shorts and ready to read the mail. This week they evaluate youth fashion, grieve the loss of their favorite childhood toys, put social media on blast, do bad apologizing, convince you not to graduate, and invent monk-themed baseball!

Talking points:

Call to arms! (00:00)
Suit up, fellow teens! (04:20)
Sad toy stories! (13:16)
Don't. Ever. Graduate. (24:32)
Kid jobs! (32:45)
Bad social media features! (36:10)
Positive by way of negative! (45:50)
Apologies! (52:24)
Taco Bell-based revenge! (1:01:05)

Next week: we enter The Matrix!

Episode 86 - This Too Shall Pass

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 10:00:00 +0000

The finite nature of the world around us is what gives life meaning… or something. So this week the boys look into what it means to let go of something when it's time. Whether we're talking TV, water parks, people, or beloved pets turned drone - Matthew and Adam get to the bottom of what it means to let something fade away.

Talking Points:

The Beginning of the End! (0:00)
What is Dead May Never Die! (2:21)
Welcome to River Country! Feat. Prospector Dan! (5:50)
The Great Movie Ride: A Retrospective! (10:35)
Paying the Frozen Price – Gone But Not Forgotten! (16:26)
Matthew Appeals to Country Livin'! (19:58)
The Convenience Store in Our Hearts! (22:20)
You Can't Stop the Signal! (26:55)
Fish the Producer Kills the Series! (34:20)
3rd Person Passed (ex)Pet Drones! (38:50)

Tell 'em Prospector Dan sent you!

A Fistful of Faves

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 10:00:00 +0000

With Adam off slaying Dragon Con, Matthew collects favorite moments from Worst Adults history from listeners in order to compile a clip show. The result is a surprisingly good summation of what you should expect from the show: singing, obsessive behavior, half-baked characters, guests that are WAY smarter than Adam and Matthew, and episode-long tangents! Enjoy!

Favorite Moments:

Adam's Amazon addiction! (02:05)
Crime buddies! (07:44)
He Would Fill His Mouth With Bees! (10:37)
Cracky rides again! (26:17)
Meet the doctors! (28:35)
Music medley! (33:42)

Commentary - Predator

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This month danger lurks around every corner... Or it would if corners were featured in jungles. But danger nonetheless lurks... Mostly in trees and in very bad visual effects! And the only man who can save us is the Governator himself!

Yes, this month we're watching Predator... Because why not? It's a classic... Right?

(Movie starts at the 08:59 mark.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone involved in the making of Predator, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Quantum Leap of Faith - Episode 1 - Genesis (Parts 1 & 2)

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 20 Aug 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Hey, folks... This week we're doing things a little differently. Which is to say we're doing a completely different kind show. But don't panic. The Worst Adults I Know isn't going anywhere anytime soon. We were just curious if we could pull off the fancast format (and turn TV watching into work!)...

So this week we're diving into Donald P. Bellisario's late-80s, early-90s time travel body swap series Quantum Leap! Beginning with the two-parter that started it all back in 1989!

Did we pull it off? Let us know! If there's enough positive feedback, this might just become our next podcast venture!

Our intro music in this episode was "Where's My Jetpack?" by Computer Music All-Stars. You can find more by Computer Music All-Stars over at cmallstars.com. Our outro music is Herman Hupfeld's "As Time Goes By" as performed by Dooley Wilson.

See you next leap!

Episode 85 - Guy Fieri's Iron Yeti

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 13 Aug 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week Adam goes to a very special summer camp, Matthew has a hard time with a movie trailer, Guy Fieri changes the food competition game (again), and the boys set sail at the zoo!

Talking points:

Motivational summer camp! (00:00)
The danger of paper towels! (04:20)
Cooking competition! (10:00)
Remember Kingsmen? (17:50)
"May Way"! (21:42)
Deleting apps in Hammond Tower! (25:46)
Lightning round debates! (29:18)
Boat living! (31:18)
We bought a zoo! (39:06)
The Ark Challenge! (47:32)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 84 - Pieangle

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 06 Aug 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week, a coincidental portmanteau turns what was supposed to be a quick opening bit for a clip show into a full blown episode! Their early morning recording finds the boys reinventing fast food, scolding Mel Gibson, questioning cinematic alien invasion tactics, towing/toeing water, choosing The Good Place over Pushing Daisies, and imagining some pretty gnarly vape flavors.

Talking Points coming soon!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, the good folks who wrote in to a show that never happened, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Commentary - Grease

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 30 Jul 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week the boys call into question why on Earth everyone's idiot parents allowed them to watch a movie that's ALL about sending the wrong message when they watch 1978's terrible mistake: Grease.

(Movie begins at 10:03)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone involved in the making of Grease (we guess), and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

That makes two movies in a row that stink out loud.

Episode 83 - You've Been Jeansed!

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 23 Jul 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Sometimes in this big, busy world of ours, you just need to take a minute to stop and smell the flowers. To appreciate the little things in life that make you happy... Because we're all powder kegs with a propensity for lighting matches...

This week, while attempting to take notice of the small pleasures, the Worst Adults manage to overhaul customer service at a major airline, portion out dogs for charity, salute William Shakespeare, elect Harvey Dent, and retcon David Beckham! So... mission accomplished?

Talking Points:

Buttering your life! (00:00)
The problem with silence (with Yo-Yo Ma)! (04:07)
Jeans on planes! (08:57)
The Sisterhood of the Traveler Rewards Pants! (16:55)
Intro song second chances! (21:41)
No change necessary! (24:06)
Water! (27:30)
Traffic flow! (34:27)
Shakespeare and cruise control! (37:42)
A bad Googling! (45:30)
Oversharing and stupid questions! (49:55)
Cash register charity! (54:35)

Episode 82 - Board to Death

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 10:00:00 +0000

In 1997, an IBM computer defeated humanity's best at the game of Chess. The computer was accused of cheating and challenged to a rematch... The computer said no and retired a champ. As a result, an entire generation turned its back on board games... But we're Millennials! We crave distraction. So let's peruse the veritable smorgasbord of board games we have access to!

This week the Worst Adults discuss their favorite table top entertainments, condemn the world's most popular game, focus their spite, expose Hitler, learn some dark truths about Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor (and why his neighbor is so shy), and still somehow manage to spend half the episode talking about Monopoly!

Talking points:

Kasparov vs. Deep Blue! (00:00)
Six Degrees of Mr. Monopoly! (04:27)
These aren't your dad's board games! (08:43)
Wheel of Jeopardy! (14:33)
Timed Monopoly! (16:52)
Life: America's most cynical board game since 1960! (21:40)
Munchkin land! (29:45)
One of your friends is Hitler! (36:23)
Cabin in the Woods: The Board Game! (39:51)
Settling for Catan! (44:13)
Trivial revelations! (51:20)
Matthew HATES Chess! (1:03:09)

(Sorry for not mentioning Sorry!)

Episode 81 - Rude Dudes

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Get your elbows off the table! This week the boys are discussing manners and social faux pas and whether or not anyone should care! They'll dive through complicated social blunders such as interrupting, droning on, mouth sounds, and Facebooking when you should be living life!

Talking Points:

Race to the Rude! (0:00)
Trapped with a Rando, and They're to Blame (4:45)
Caveman Manners (9:25)
Matthew – Solving for the Rudest Dude? (12:58)
Rudely Oblivious (14:50)
High Stakes Situational Avoidance with Cars (17:20)
Adam Misses the Joke (23:00)
We Don't Mean to Interrupt (29:27)
Mouth Sounds and Fork Grooves (33:40)
Gross Bathroom Talkers (38:00)
The Hotline's Ringing Off the Hook! (43:10)
Manners vs. Common Decency (46:20)
Look Me in the Eye! (52:30)

Episode 80 - Pigeon Milk

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Every now and again The Worst Adults make a poor choice in episode themes... And that's usually fine. But toss jet lag into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster. Or hilarity. We'll let you decide which it is.

This week the boys attempt to become one person, discuss Adam's fascinating use of his sky privileges, improve air travel and rice, protect their backsides, and cope with the ramifications of Matthew's Hail Mary pass of a show closer!

Talking points:

Butt gremlins! (00:00)
Comic book piling! (06:48)
Two hosts, one person! (09:57)
London calling! (17:15)
Coke can calamity! (24:59)
Less-efficient planes! (27:22)
Rice secrets! (31:58)
Metric missteps! (35:15)
Google party! (37:10)
The gnarliest bit of trivia! (43:33)

Commentary - Spider-Man 3

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 25 Jun 2017 10:00:00 +0000

With Spider-Man: Homecoming right around the corner, The Worst Adults figured it was time to revisit the darkest entry in Spider-Man's cinematic past, the third entry in Sam Raimi's Sony series... And it does not disappoint. Which is to say it is very disappointing. If that makes sense.

(Movie begins at 11:26.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone involved in the making of Spider-Man 3, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Excelsior!

Episode 79 - The Carousel of Progress

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 18 Jun 2017 10:00:00 +0000

The Worst Adults are no strangers to technology. They were raised in the transitionary period between analog and digital, and they have feelings about it. This week they discuss their generation's unique position, pit early adoption against waiting for second generation tech, put digital celebs on carousels, add Starbucks to a beloved Ghibli property, discuss a certain obscene golden disc that is currently hurtling through space, and tell you how to raise your kids!

Talking Points:

Back on topic! (00:00)
Unnecessary dimensions! (05:30)
Grumpy old men! (09:43)
NSFW space exploration! (14:39)
New technology is a fraud! (22:14)
Upgrading the carousel! (26:20)
Screen time! (35:48)
Early adoption vs. second gen! (41:05)
Tech fears! (47:29)
Carousel Redux 2.0! (52:30)
Thank you, Technology! (57:58)

Episode 78 - American Wizard and the Sorcerer's Brew

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 11 Jun 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Well folks, it's happened again. We prepped for a proper episode about something real, but then let one random comment derail us... So here's hoping you dig the idea of rebooting Harry Potter in America and subsequently who would play who! Along the way we crush it in the casting department, sell out a beloved franchise to some big companies, do some pretty weak impressions, and pat ourselves on the back quite a bit... all because of a long lost moped.

(Side note: This does mean you have a little more time to get us your thoughts on modern technology for next week's episode!)

Talking Points:

Enter the Matrix! (00:00)
Moped woes! (07:08)
Criss Angel Mindcage! (09:05)
The Americanization of Harry! (13:02)
He Who Must Not Be Cast! (21:24)
Disney owns everything! (26:11)
Casting calling! (28:02)
The Mirror of Resiewdub! (38:50)
Rapid-fire titles! (39:58)
J.K. is OK! (48:28)
Dumbledore in suspenders? (55:12)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing (even though we did not get to them), and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 77 - Heroes of Might and Mailbags

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 04 Jun 2017 10:00:00 +0000

The boys are back in the mail truck this week... and stuck in LA traffic! So to kill time, they solicit questions from their listeners. In this hour they talk about influential teachers, recap Adam's trip to Pandora, make a playlist for some Aliens, discuss how good a Tom Bombadil movie would be, design a Fast and the Furious video game, pick their super powers, will themselves illiterate, and extol the merits of storytelling and D&D!

Talking points:

The Ratzenberger Method! (00:00)
La La Landlocked! (06:24)
Pandora - The World of Avatar! (08:14)
Featured teachers! (21:14)
Books to movies! (28:16)
Movies to video games! (31:42)
Desired superpowers! (37:18)
The relevance of D&D! (43:50)
Alien mix tapes! (51:30)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Commentary - Avatar

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 28 May 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This weekend Disney World's Animal Kingdom opened a new subdivision based on the 2009 smash hit James Cameron movie Avatar... You know, the one with the large blue cats doing their best recreation of Pocahontas. Because why not. And somehow Adam - our resident Disney expert - had never seen Avatar, so we remedied that before he set off on a research mission to Pandora. Enjoy!

(Begin movie at the 12:00 marker.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music,James Cameron for making movies, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 76 - Thirty

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 21 May 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Adam and Matthew were born 18 days apart in May of 1987. Which makes this a landmark month as our hosts are now entering their fourth decade. That landmark of course is they are SO OLD now. With this fresh awareness of their own mortality and still no idea what being a proper adult looks like, they celebrate turning thirty the only way they know how... by talking at each other on this podcast. This week they talk about dietary issues, put away childish things (just long enough to get some work done), get around to telling you the truth about where babies come from, dissect another Tim McGraw ditty, and try to win Joe Rogan's Fear Factory! Maybe 30 is going to be okay...

Talking Points:

Earle Grey in, Rockstar out! (01:28)
Restaurant gripes! (04:29)
Denny's and lawn bowling! (08:48)
Needing glasses! (12:31)
Health supplements! (15:02)
The birds and the bees and the boats! (18:18)
Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years"! (22:47)
Clean livin'! (34:57)
House plant skin care! (36:36)
Treat Yo' Self! (38:43)
Finding the silver lining! (43:41)
Closing song! (50:57)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing one of our samplers, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 75 - The Laddies Doth Protest Too Little

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 14 May 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week, the boys try to figure out how to best say "No!" to things they cannot abide... And mostly come out of it with a heightened sense of existential dread... Which was not the plan! The result is a surprisingly sincere conversation about the world being a mess and the gridlock that comes from trying to fix it. It's not particularly funny, but they're hoping you find it at least cathartic.

Talking Points coming soon!

A Surprise Birthday Clip Show!

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 07 May 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Matthew is a year older this week, and he doesn't know it yet (unless he checks this upload ahead of time...), but Adam is going to kick down his door for a Birthday Bonanza that couldn't be beat. That means he isn't going to have time to work on the episode we planned for this week!

So in the meantime, gather around and celebrate another year of Matthew with us as we relive some of our favorite moments from Episodes 54 through 63!

Thank you as always to XPwebcomic.com's Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, and you our lovely listeners! Please share this show with your friends, family, and total strangers and unless we get abducted by aliens we'll be back with a fresh ep. next week!

Commentary - Mac and Me

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Mon, 01 May 2017 05:30:24 +0000

Remember when we did that commentary for E.T. last year? Of course you do; you love this show! Well, we're basically doing that movie again... Only now there's MORE terror, MORE puppets, and OH SO MUCH MORE product placement! It's the biggest regret of 1988: Mac and Me! So head to the nearest McDonald's PlayPlace, order an ice cold Coca-Cola, and demand everyone be quiet so you can hear this garbage movie from your portable DVD player!

(Commentary begins at 12:40. Queue movie to just before MGM logo appears.)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone involved in the making of Mac and Me, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults! And don't forget to taste the rainbow!

Episode 74 - Citizens of the World

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 23 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

It's Spring again and the Worst Adults are ready to blossom into the wilds as true citizens of the world, but as usual they have NO idea what they're doing! With the help of their dear friends of the show they set out on a true international journey to figure out where they need to go on their true international journey! Please remain in your seats with your seat belt securely fastened until the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign, we'll be at the gate shortly!

Adam's Descent into Madness Under There (0:00)
Getting Back to Basics (4:35)
Adam the Trash Boy and His Toy Friends (6:20)
Where Do You Go? Maybe Switzerland? (10:45)
Citizen of the World: You (15:51)
Tomorrow May Rain So I'll Run from the Sun (17:45)
Where Do You Go? Maybe Middle Earth (aka New Zealand I Guess)? (18:50)
Where Do You Go? Maybe Washington DC? (21:45)
Pantsing a Grandma at George Washington's Rock Collection (23:20)
The Next Guy Fieri Side Quest (28:27)
The Order of Operations (33:10)
Where Do You Go? Maybe New York (or Maybe Not…)? (35:00)
A Nor'easter of Grilled Cheese (39:40)
Where Do You Go? Maybe Canada? Or Guam? (41:20)
International Stereotypes with the Country Bears (45:12)
Where Do We Go? Adam and Matthew Off to See the World (47:41)
Fast and Furious: World Tour (53:51)

How Fast How Furious - Day 7 - Furious 7

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Fri, 14 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

It's been a long week, folks... But here we are in the final stretch. We've got one last shot of NOs, and we're gonna need it! Because Jason Statham is coming for all of us!

Adam drives this miniseries home with a no-hold-barred recap of every last insane thing that happens in Furious 7. Which is why this episode is so long, because by now this behemoth of a franchise DOES NOT SLOW DOWN. EVER. We've got cars falling out of planes, demolished hospitals, very smart drones, a sword fight with wrenches and auto parts, Kurt Russell for no plausible reason, Tony Jaa for all the best reasons, and a very heartfelt tribute to one of the stars of the film.

So brace yourself, because we're crossing the finish line at full speed.

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

How Fast How Furious - Day 6 - Fast and the Furious 6

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

They say if it ain't broke don't fix it. And after the colossal success of Fast 5, it makes sense that studios would just ask for more of the same... Which explains this cookie cutter sixth chapter. Not that

In today's episode, Matthew takes us from the winding coastal roads of Spain to the crowded streets of London... and then back to those winding Spanish roads (because why not!) as we chase a McGuffin in a go-kart with grappling hooks!

How Fast How Furious - Day 5 - Fast 5

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

After yesterday's cliffhanger, the boys are hooked! And good news for them, because this is the movie where this franchise goes full over-the-top action movie... It's quite a good move.

Today, Adam leads us through the streets of Rio De Janeiro as Dom and the gang do train crime, plan an Ocean's Eleven-style heist, and are pursued by the sweatiest Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson cinema has ever known!

How Fast How Furious - Day 4 - Fast and Furious

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Tue, 11 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

It took three sequels to get here, but the boys are FINALLY back in town... and they're out for revenge! After one of Dom's posse is murdered, the franchise heads back to its roots and finally puts the series back on track!

Matthew takes the wheel to sum up the skillfully regurgitated plot points of Fast and Furious (They dropped the "The", thank you Justin Timberlake!), praise the film's action, and be pleasantly surprised at how much he is getting into these movies... This might have been the best decision!

See you tomorrow!

How Fast How Furious - Day 3 - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

After a less-than-savory second helping of The Fast and the Furious franchise, Adam takes the wheel to tell us about a completely unconnected film about a good ol' boy learning to drift in Tokyo!

Adam sums up the plot of this series departure, obsesses over a cool dude named Han, and has a surprisingly good time with what is often called the worst film in the franchise... Maybe there's hope for this series after all!

See you tomorrow!

How Fast How Furious - Day 2 - 2 Fast 2 Furious

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 09 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Day 2 is going to be a bummer, folks... After a decent start, the surprise smash-hit success of the first Fast and the Furious film did what so many franchises do: Offered up a half-cooked misguided sequel...

Matthew takes the wheel to recount the cliched plot of 2 Fast 2 Furious, a movie that does not live up to its very bad title. He looks deep into this totaled vehicle of a movie looking for anything to salvage, and comes up mostly empty handed, aside from the hilarity that comes from recounting bad experiences to your best friend. Here's hoping tomorrow fares better.

See you tomorrow!

How Fast How Furious - Day 1 - The Fast and the Furious

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sat, 08 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Over the next week, The Worst Adults will be taking you on a ride. The destination? Thrillstown, USA! In preparation for The Fate of the Furious - smashing into theaters April 14th - we're breaking down each movie in the Fast and the Furious movie series as a sort of Sparknotes for the uninitiated, a refresher for the cinematic gearheads, and an excuse for us to watch a movie series we have just never gotten around to...

On this first episode, the boys talk through the first movie's plot, meet the series' protagonists for better or for worse, and try to figure out how the series got from here to the all-out action of F8.

So strap in and thumb that Nos, because this adrenaline-fueled thrill ride is about to go from 0 to 60 in less than 10 seconds... Because that's an important feature, apparently.

See you tomorrow!

Episode 73 - Pope John Fabio Mindfreak

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 02 Apr 2017 10:00:00 +0000

This week the Worst Adults set out to find their classy side... but Adam didn't understand the Masterpiece Theater setup and instead they kick-start a plan to save humanity by grafting two (or three) heads onto one body and rigorously dividing their waking hours... You're welcome humanity!

Talking Points coming soon!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, this week's contributors for graciously taking a backseat to one out of control goof, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor!

Commentary - The Fast and the Furious

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 26 Mar 2017 09:00:00 +0000

The Worst Adults are what you might call gearheads. Yeah, they know about Nos and engines and... uhh... steering wheels. they grew up in the illegal racing circuits of mean Central Florida. So the choice to sit down and watch 2001's The Fast and The Furious was a no-brainer. In this commentary they praise some sick stunts, question the LAPD's obsession with some stolen TVs, and wax Vin Diesel's head! So fire up that DVD, because it's movie time!

And while we're in the zone (the Auto Zone!) make sure to come back April 8-14 for daily breakdowns of all seven Fast and the Furious movies as we get pumped for The Fate of the Furious!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone involved in the making of The Fast and the Furious, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 72 - The Melting Pot

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 19 Mar 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Sometimes it's best to think outside the box. Especially if your box is the bubble that is America. This week the Worst Adults are trying to spice up this great melting pot of ours (or wherever you are) with some foreign flavors. Along the way they do some bad French accents, take a nap, reinvent speed limits, think about birds a little too much, and try to free up some of that mental RAM we fill with useless stuff like sales tax and daylight savings! Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome to the future!

Talking points:

Climbing ropes! (00:00)
Plastic food! (05:43)
Scrubbing the Statue of Liberty! (07:54)
Everybody's the janitor! (14:58)
Sales tax! (18:47)
No more tipping! (22:16)
Fill your brain RAM with birds! (25:54)
Nap terrors! (32:00)
Scare more kids! (35:12)
House shoes! (41:26)
The limits of speed limits! (43:10)
The root of all disease! (48:27)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, everyone who contributed to this episode for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults!

Episode 71 - A Penny Saved

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 12 Mar 2017 11:00:00 +0000

The Worst Adults are not great with money... Okay, they're responsible enough, but that extra money? Straight in the dumpster. So this week they set out to save some dough. Along the way they buy in bulk, bulk up with philosophers, balk at paper goods, bask in the library's glory, decide to become James Cameron, and reinvent a comic book terror organization in order to take advantage of discount holiday goodies! Saving money is comedy gold... Trust us.

Talking points:

Socrates' abs! (00:00)
Extreme couponing! (05:32)
Prospectors! (09:16)
How are we with money? (13:45)
No more trash bags! (20:37)
Buy in bulk! (23:17)
Paper products! (24:58)
Delayed holidays! (28:48)
Libraries! (38:18)
Partnered credit cards! (41:46)
Lists! (44:20)
Save with purpose, always be busy! (46:20)

As always, a huge thank you to Laura Hammond of XPwebcomic.com for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like us, consider subscribing on iTunes and telling everyone you know about us.

Episode 70 - I Was a Teenage Nintendo Power Subscriber

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 05 Mar 2017 11:00:00 +0000

This week saw the release of the Nintendo Switch... and you're probably still standing in line hoping to obtain one. While you wait, might we suggest listening to two dudes talk about video games? ...Because no one has ever had this idea before. While pioneering this new podcast genre, we recount our childhood (and childlike) love of video games, describe our biggest regrets in the medium, envy Japan's arcades, find ourselves forced to choose between sleep and video games, declare Shigeru Miyamoto (and his winning smile) our second dads, and expose a popular coffee chain's alliance with Satan. It's our most straightforward episode ever!

Talking Point:

Italian accents! (00:00)
Link enters puberty! (04:25)
Japan! (07:35)
Nintendo kids! (10:50)
Computers and Steam! (21:38)
Sleep vs. WOW! (23:41)
Video game storytelling! (28:00)
Watching other people play! (33:12)
Rated M for Mature! (38:27)
Wrap-up recommendations! (48:58)

As always, a huge thank you to Laura Hammond of XPwebcomic.com, Bensound.com for the tunes, this week's contributors for making this show better, and you the listener for sticking us in your ears! Please subscribe to our show and tell your friends to do the same.

Commentary - Jaws

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 26 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Summer seems to be here early this year... so let's get afraid to go back in the water in February! That's right, friends: We're watching Jaws! So get ready for shanties, boat talk, one terrible story about a fish hook, and some legit blockbuster thrills as we star down the gullet of a giant metal shark!

(Commentary begins at 08:35)

As always we'd like to thank Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the tune, Steven Spielberg for making this excellent movie, and you the listeners for sticking with us! Be safe out there, Winter beachgoers!

Episode 69 - And The Award Goes To

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

In looking to have a wider discussion about awards in general The Worst Adults got sucked in by OSCAR FEVER, and let's face it, the Oscars are the best award show anyway. This week we take a deep dive on award shows, prep for this year's Oscar ceremony, and give shout outs to awards that never existed along with some special celebrity cameos! Grab some popcorn and throw your 3D glasses in the garbage (because they're a total gimmick!) and let's have a good old fashioned Oscar party!

Talking Points:

Behind the Scenes at the Oscars with Special Guests! (0:00)
Argo and Robin (6:26)
I Can't Believe It's Butter (9:03)
Award Shows in General (11:50)
And This Year's Nominees are…Going to be a Minute (15:25)
Oscar Prep: Audio Engineering (19:00)
Predicting the Non-Nominees (25:38)
This Year's Hostest with the Mostest (31:28)
Adam's Lightning Plot Synopses (34:10)
Jordan's New Oscar Categories (42:40)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider sharing this with someone you know or becoming a TWAIKntributor!

Episode 68 - Goonies Shoulda Said Die

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 12 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

There's this stupid old joke about two certain things in life: death and taxes. But The Worst Adults would posit that there is a third: discourse. People love to argue. Problem is, Adam and Matthew are not very good at arguing. So they're really reaching this week as they try to discover the secrets to winning an argument. Along the way, they pick fights with children, try not to start any fires, break down strange happenings at the Super Bowl, use time travel to prevent alien invasions, wear chicken costumes, and spend far too much time explaining how to position your toilet paper!

Talking Points:

Cinematic slap fight! (00:00)
Debate captain! (05:15)
The Pepsi Challenge! (07:26)
All goofing aside... (10:05)
Matthew's latent arsonist! (13:35)
Anti-conflict bros! (14:24)
Stay on target! (18:10)
Standing your ground with Tom Brady! (20:44)
Physicality! (26:35)
Arguing with children! (29:11)
Distractions! (33:40)
Toilet paper orientation! (37:19)
The subtleties of time travel! (42:25)
Horse-size duck vs. house-size boy! (47:21)

As always, a huge thanks to Laura Hammond of XPwebcomic.com for the art, Bensound.com for the music, this week's contributors for hooking us up, and you the listener for taking the time! We love you! Share this with your friends!

Adam Is Missing... Out on Being in This Clip Show

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 05 Feb 2017 11:00:00 +0000

When Adam goes missing, Matthew is forced to take drastic measures... Which for him means trying to be positive. And that means thinking happy thoughts and revisiting some classic Worst Adults goofs! That's right folks... It's a clip show!

(Clips taken from the Unbreakable commentary through Episode 52, FYI.)

Thank you as always to XPwebcomic.com's Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, and you our lovely listeners! Please share this show with your friends, family, and total strangers. We'll see you next week with a proper episode, we promise!

Commentary - Groundhog Day

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 29 Jan 2017 10:00:00 +0000

Groundhog Day is maybe the most inconsequential holiday in the U.S. Maybe the world. Maybe ever. But Harold Ramis's 1993 light fantasy starring Bill Murray is maybe the most quietly profound film ever made (at least according to Matthew)... So we're going to talk over it for your listening pleasure. Along the way, we lean hard into a fan theory, talk about how this event will ruin any future Phil Connors could have, wonder where Andie MacDowell is now, and speculate on what we would do in Phil's unique situation! Feel free to listen on a loop.

If there's a movie you'd like us to comment on next month, hit us up!

As always, a big thanks to show artist Laura Hammond, Bensound.com, everyone involved in the making of Groundhog Day, and you the listener for sticking with us. Have a great week!

Episode 67 - Perchance to Dream

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 22 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

If you think about it, this week's episode is all about dreams... The Worst Adults are living the dream after the greatest outing in storytelling mankind has ever known. They kick off their mail answering with a discussion about dreams. Then they invent a dream sport, get you that dream job, dream of a world where we're open with our in-laws and spoilers only come once a year, and delve into the dreamlike wonder of Netflix! There's also some stuff about bees and homicidal sanitation workers, but if you try hard enough I bet you can dream up a way of making those fit this afterthought of a forced theme too...

Talking Points:

Bear school! (00:00)
The blades and the bees! (05:50)
Dream analysis! (16:10)
January 18th: Spoiler Day! (23:45)
Bestflix! (26:20)
The Garbagemen Kill the Marvel Universe! (34:21)
Quadball! (39:59)
Quandry-in-law! (48:04)
Crush every job interview! (53:54)

As always, a huge thanks to Laura Hammond of XPwebomic.com for the art, Bensound.com for the exit tunes, our dream contributors for doing their thing, and you the listener for sticking with us! Have a great week everybody!

Episode 66 - He Would Fill His Mouth With Bees

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

This weeks the boys set out to plow through some of the mail pile – but this mail train went way off the rails when they were visited by a spark of inspiration! So the mail can wait until next week, but in the meantime Matthew and Adam will write the most acclaimed multi-part biography to ever spin off a very successful Netflix Series/Movie Trilogy/Lifetime Original our planet has ever known, and in the process discover what it truly means to be a citizen of humanity!

Talking Points:

Competitive Sing-A-Long (0:00)
Postal Work to Beat the Blizzard Blues (1:36)
There Could be Bees! – A Visit to the Apiary (3:12)
The Truth About Plants (5:07)
Hotwired Headphones (7:33)
The Fast and the Furious and Friday (12:20)
Adam Definitely Has Seen the Godfather (14:18)
Anachronistic Mafia with Michael Bay (15:30)
Who is Don Giovanni? (17:47)
HE WOULD FILL HIS MOUTH WITH BEES (19:48)
The OA and Pure Storytelling (24:13)
He Filled His Mouth with Bees (26:00)
HE WOULD FILL HIS MOUTH WITH BEES: Season 2 (28:48)
Clint, the Nameless Protagonist (30:43)
HE WOULD FILL HIS MOUTH WITH BEES: Season 3 (32:30)
A Cult of One (38:01)
Kristen Wiig and Emily Blunt Producing a Story of Human Transcendence (39:10)
The Woman Who Lived Three Lives (43:10)
All Awards Applicable (45:20)
HE WOULD FILL HIS MOUTH WITH BEES – No Problems Forever (49:10)
Altaba (51:40)

Episode 65 - Thank You For Being a Friend

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 08 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Remember how easy it used to be to make friends? What happened? How do you even start a friendship as an adult? Matthew and Adam sure don't know, so they're bringing in friendship experts Dr. Elizabeth and Master Adam! Together they learn that screaming can be useful, kids and dogs make decent conversation starters, criminals need friends too, there are only Hufflepuffs and Slytherins in the world, fear can be healthy, and sometimes kidnapping is the only option. By the end of this hour you'll be swimming in friends!

Talking Points:

Friendship origins! (05:22)
The kid in the blue blazer! (08:03)
Gut punchin' buddies! (10:45)
What kind of friend do you want? (13:39)
"Let's get coffee!" (17:48)
"What's your Hogwarts house?" (19:55)
"Let's do crime!" (24:50)
Friendship limit! (29:04)
Just get a dog... (32:10)
...or a kid! (33:32)
Stalking! (38:05)
Screaming at work! (39:03)
Fish's six steps to friendship! (42:50)

Episode 64 - On Vacation, No One Can Hear Your Furniture Scream

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 11:00:00 +0000

Adam is embracing some R&R, so we're talking about that this week. Because art reflects life. And because after 2016, we all deserve a vacation. Along the way, we debate familiarity vs. variety, expose the lies of vacation, create no less than two hit musicals, commit insurance fraud to keep the good times going, make references the other host won't understand, refuse to imitate other cultures, let Mickey Mouse do the cleaning, and Adam hears guilt-inducing voices from inside his house!

Talking points coming soon!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the tunes, this week's contributors, and you the listener! You guys are the best! Happy New Year!

Commentary - Judge Dredd

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 11:00:00 +0000

2016 is almost over, and we'd sort of given up by this point. So we thought we'd close out this miserable year with a miserable movie... But there can be miracles, even if you don't believe. As evidenced to us here, as the first R-rated movie Adam ever saw turned out to be just okay, but often quite enjoyable - what with the butts and the practical effects and all! So, much to our surprise, we present the Christmas miracle that is Sylvester Stallone's 1995 underdog Judge Dredd.

(Movie begins at 11:26.)

As always we'd like to thank Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the tunes, Hollywood Pictures for releasing this movie, and you the listener for sticking with us! Feel free to pass this along on the socials, contribute to future episodes, and support us over at Patreon.com/TheWorstAdults!

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Episode 63 - Bakula Take the Wheel

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 18 Dec 2016 11:00:00 +0000

Sometimes reality is a harsh mistress, and it's no secret that 2016 has been harsher than most. This week the boys set out to catalogue the dark goings on of the year and frankly – it was a little too heavy. As the Worst Adults fretted on how to swim backwards through such a swamp of bummers – ENTER QUANTUM LEAP'S SCOTT BAKULA TO SAVE THE DAY! With the use of his future science, Scott Bakula takes the boys on an interdimensional time travel adventure to help vanquish the woes of 2016 and help lay the road for a brighter tomorrow (including a new and better podcast!).

So strap in because just like 2016, this episode is a bumpy ride. Ohhh boy.

The River 20-Styx-Teen (0:00)
Freeform Found Object Percussion (1:05)
Scott Bakula – Take the Wheel! (4:00)
Who Scopes the Bakula Bod? (5:12)
Monster Plantation (12:33)
Carousel of Progress Meetup (14:22)
Quantum Krampus, Ghostbuster (16:23)
Back to the Show! (22:23)
Matthew's New Year's Nightmare and the CDC panic room (23:50)
2016 – A Pretty Tough Scene (25:24)
CUBS WIN! and other 2016 Positives (27:02)
Looking Forward to 2017 (31:07)
Cautious Optimism (35:04)
Stay Positive, Do Good, and… (38:00)
Thank You Scott Bakula et all (40:35)

Quantum Bonus Clips!?!? (49:17)

Episode 62 - Rogue One: A Worst Adults Story

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 11 Dec 2016 11:00:00 +0000

In this day and age, spoilers are everywhere. If you don't see it, hear it or smell it on day one, someone will tell you everything about it on day two. An The Worst Adults are sick of it! So they broke into Skywalker Ranch and stole the script to Rogue One: A Star Wars Story so that they could spoil it first*! And... well... you're going to be disappointed. This episode is filled to the brim with Star Wars goofs, plot holes, social commentary, shallow character development, way too many Forrest Gump impressions, and morals about data safety. Enjoy!

Talking points:

The perfect heist! (00:00)
Womp rats! (09:00)
Death Star doomsday! (12:42)
Spoilers! (12:42)
Hype! (20:07)
Our hero Sharon! (23:38)
Archie the arm-less architect! (27:34)
The Sound of Music planet! (31:01)
Pickin' on Stormtroopers! (33:44)
Space elves in space barrels! (38:35)
Pizza slingin' and Empire betrayin'! (43:02)
Team building! (47:16)
One huge anticlimax! (52:35)
Lesson 1: Bureaucracy sucks! (56:05)
Lesson 2: Don't skimp on security! (1:01:56)

*To any Disney/Lucasfilm lawyers who might stumble upon this we'd like to be clear that this is obviously not true... To our listeners we'd like to make a winking gesture when said lawyers aren't looking.

Episode 61 - Life Experiences 2.0

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 04 Dec 2016 11:00:00 +0000

2016 has been rough, folks. I mean, we lost the Big Mac guy and the General Tso's guy in the same week... ROUGH. So in an attempt to salvage what's left of the year, we're going back and re-evaluating things from our - and our listeners' - pasts. And you know what? It might just work. Along the way, warm up to Christmas, gorge ourselves on Chinese buffets, totally crush middle school, try to figure out why people love bars, reinvent baseball, and get ambitious about hygiene and the world around us.

Talking Points coming soon!

We'd like to thank Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, this week's contributors for the contributions, and you the listener for sticking with us. If you like what you hear, consider subscribing on iTunes, following us on Twitter, and contributing on Patreon.

Commentary - Die Hard

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 27 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

Christmas means many things to many people. But we can all agree on one thing this season: Die Hard is the ultimate Christmas movie. So it seemed only right to invite ourselves into your home and talk over it!

Along the way we get very into Bruce Willis's body, point out several continuity errors, root for the true hero of the movie: Reginald VelJohnson, extol the virtues of Hans Gruber (and Alan Rickman's American accent!), marvel at the over-engineered nature of Nakatomi Plaza, give the production designer a lot of credit, and give our first perfect score to a movie!

If there's a movie you would like us to ruin commentate, hit us up!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! Please tell your friends about this show.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Episode 60 - Cold Hard Facts

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 20 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

This week The Worst Adults bring in some actual adults to help prepare for the frigid months ahead. Doctor Elizabeth and Master Adam are here to help us navigate the very adult topics of winter illness, flu shots, cat claw maintenance, and Vitamin B6. With friends like these in our corner, we might just make it all the way to Christmas!

Talking Points:

Hot Fall and Dry Ice Makes for a bad day (0:00)
A (Fictional) Trip to the Hospital (3:28)
The Doctors Are In! (6:05)
Fantastic Frostbite (and how to fight it) (7:01)
Adam Sells His Body, But Worse Than It Sounds… (9:37)
That Really Chaps My Lips (12:48)
Seriously Though, Don't Declaw Your Cats (15:00)
Optimal Wintertime Beverages (19:07)
How To Survive the Titanic Without Really Trying (20:49)
Hey BF, Are You Ok? (23:57)
Flu Shot? Or Flu Not? (24:40)
Tiny Vectors for Disease (30:19)
Vital Vitamins and the B6 Crisis (33:50)
Fish Oil Findings (35:55)
Getting Cold Feet – Being Hot Headed (39:46)
Spot of Tea (43:20)
Wintertime Literature (47:20)

Super thanks to our guests Adam and Elizabeth and as always a huge thanks to Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! Please share this with your friends or you will catch the flu!

Episode 59 - It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

It's barely November and stores are already pushing Christmas goods, so we thought it was about time to sort out how to handle the holidays. Pretty simple... or is it? Along the way we sling trees, experiment with gift giving, charge you too much for a home delivery Thanksgiving meal, join Sylvester Stallone on his greatest adventure, take your house by force, leave early, skip Black Friday, and go all Manchurian Candidate after watching A Christmas Story.

Talking Points:

Eggnog and chocolate chips! (00:00)
A Very Rambo Christmas! (03:04)
Mr. Treeson's Christmas Tree Farm! (04:42)
Gift goofs! (08:22)
Adam's bold move! (16:38)
Real v. fake trees! (19:16)
Boxgiving! (26:10)
Personal party space! (29:52)
Food follies/Settlers of Catan! (35:21)
When to leave the party! (38:52)
Black Friday (41:21)
Holiday movie sleeper agent! (44:04)
Patreon push! (54:26)

As always, a huge thanks to Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the outro music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for sticking with us! Please share this with your friends!

Episode 58 - Colvin/Hammond/Musk/Karn 2020

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 06 Nov 2016 11:00:00 +0000

Election Day 2016 is upon us and somehow we couldn't find a way to fill a whole episode with political talk... We do hear from the people and try to make people's lives better, so we're basically ideal candidates. In this episode we vote, run for office, expose R.L. Stine and global warming, make a food replicator ultimatum, conjure furniture, lay down the law on Christmas decorating, and rank Rory Gilmore's suitors (including Wolverine!).

Talking Points:

Matthew's bank woes! (00:00)
Global warming hoax exposed! (03:47)
Election amnesia! (09:21)
First time you voted! (12:27)
Food replicators or else! (19:50)
Don't Touch That Day! (26:59)
Easy meals! (30:15)
Apartment/house shift! (35:07)
Work/life/gaming balance! (41:13)
When to Christmas! (48:28)
Dean, Jess, or Logan? (53:54)
Dean, Jess, or Logan? revisited! (1:01:35)
Last-minute cancelled shows! (1:07:39)

A huge thanks to Laura Hammond for the art, Bensound.com for the music, this week's contributors for contributing, and you the listener for listening. Subscribe on iTunes, share our sampler, and consider contributing on Patreon. See you next week!

Commentary - The Ring

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 30 Oct 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's Halloween weekend, so this is a perfect opportunity to break out one of Adam's favorite spooky movies for this month's commentary: Gore Verbinski's 2002 classic The Ring! Join us as we run through some horror tropes, do battle with an Americanized Korean water ghost, explain old technology to young people, do some investigative journalisming, explain and find out just how much blood IS in a horse. We hope you brought enough Trick or Treat candy for everybody...

As always, a great big thank you to Laura Hammond for all the show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! We'll see you next week for a special election-lite mailbag episode!

Episode 57 - Pumpkin Spice Up Your Life

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 09 Oct 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Fall is here, and with it comes seasonal taste overlord Pumpkin Spice. You love or you hate it, so this week The Worst Adults are digging in to as many pumpkin spice delectables as they can get their now-permanently-orange hands on! Along the way they eat and review dozens of snacks, disclose the secrets of the spice, question pumpkin spice validity, make plans for Mars, and are horrified by food colors!

Talking Points coming soon!

As always, a huge thanks to Laura Cooper for the art, Bensound.com for the music, this week's contributors, and you the listener for sticking with us! We will be away for two weeks as Matthew is getting married, so we hope this double stuffed episode will keep you over until then. Also, if anyone wants any pumpkin spice flavored stuff, we have quite a bit left over...

Episode 56 - Scrub Your Socials

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 02 Oct 2016 10:00:00 +0000

This week Matthew and Adam explore the interconnecting sinews of the World Wide Web in the form of Social Media and how it binds us together as one big messy society. From the mainstream flow of The Facebook, to excavating ancient dig sites filled with the rancid remains of LiveJournal, to the misty shadows filled with Socials Unknown - These Social Media Boy Detectives leave no stone unturned as they try to wrap their feeble minds around the colossus of Social Media.

Pandora's Box – The Original Social Network (0:00)
NPR's Lost MySpace (4:52)
Matthew – King of Instagram (6:20)
LiveJournal Unearthed (Journey into Darkness) (8:30)
Scrub the Internet (17:35)
The Obelisk of Creation - Facebook? (20:00)
The Social Media Aversion (25:11)
Twitter #Zuckerburger(27:30)
Creep'd (30:00)
Social Media Knights (33:56)
Make Sure You Get the Good Side of My Life(36:25)
Is This a Real Social Media Site, Or Not?(38:15)
The Problems With Social Media (49:38)
The Limits of Social Media(54:20)

The Pumpkin Spice Must Flow

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Fri, 30 Sep 2016 14:30:00 +0000

It's Fall, and you know what that means: Everything is pumpkin spice flavored. But what is pumpkin spice? Is it really that good? How far can this flavor sensation go? What are the best and worst pumpkin spice flavored items?

These are all questions we will be asking SOON.

But we need YOUR help! Send us - in text form - your favorite pumpkin spice items (and how to find them), as well as your general thoughts on pumpkin spice, and we'll deliver an hour of reviewin' and chewin'!

We can't wait! Contribute now!

TheWorstAdults@gmail.com
Twitter.com/TheWorstAdults
Facebook.com/TheWorstAdults
832-91-WORST

Commentary - E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 25 Sep 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Adam was terrified of E.T. as a child. Matthew was indifferent. As adults they're both still bothered, but maybe also a little more appreciative of what this Spielberg classic is going for. Along the way we fixate on just how gnarly E.T.'s physiology is, theorize what the tiny raisin man is really up to, become enraged about yard pizza, make fun of an absent dad character, explain the 80s to each other, and turn against the protagonist! So it's pretty much a normal day for us.

Next month's commentary will debut the day before Halloween, so if you've got anything spooky you'd like us to talk over, feel free to hit us up!

Episode 55 - Croatoan

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 18 Sep 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Last week's time management discussion must not have been taken to heart, as The Worst Adults ran out of time before even getting around to this week's designated topic. Instead, they just hang like buds and discuss the mystery of the Roanoke Colony. Along the way, they tackle a J.J. Abrams-style history mystery, prevent Judgement Day through the power of 90s sitcoms, pick their patronai, shoot Voldemort into space, do Larry the Cable Guy impressions, write some checks, and justify their lack of restraint!

Talking Points:

Explain yourselves! (00:00)
The Lost Colony! (05:51)
Wikipedia Out Loud! (07:35)
J.K. Rowling: Time-Traveling Philanthropist! (09:55)
3rd Rock from the Sun explained! (13:44)
Wizards in space! (18:45)
Adam's patronus! (22:33)
Checks! (23:54)
Matthew's patronus! (29:52)
The episode writes itself! (35:43)
Larry the Cable Guy wrecks Skype! (37:45)
Closing thoughts! (40:25)

As always we'd like to thank show artist Laura Cooper of XPwebcomic.com, Bensound.com, J.K. Rowling, and you the listener! If you like us, share our sampler, support us on Patreon, and hit us up on the Internet!

Fun Fact: We recorded this on Monday night; on Wednesday night American Horror Story aired the first episode of its Roanoke-based season... the theme of which they DID NOT REVEAL UNTIL AIRING... Are we psychic? Are we cursed? Should AHS take us on as staff writers? YOU be the judge! (Also, yes to all, probably.)

Episode 54 - Island Time Management

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 11 Sep 2016 10:00:00 +0000

This week Matthew sees around the curvature of the Earth into the future to determine Adam didn't do his homework and the boys sit down to talk about how to better manage their time. They discuss the ups and downs of procrastinating, whether or not it makes a difference to make their beds, and achieve the ultimate logical fallacy by concluding trans-dimensional solitude will alleviate all of their time management issues.

Talking Points:

Fresh Air (0:00)
Matthew predicts Adam's failure (2:35)
The Timekeeper and Cool Meditation (4:45)
Ice and Irony (7:20)
Matthew, A Beacon of Efficiency (9:00)
The Power of Procrastination (11:15)
The Great Library Fine (16:30)
Thanks to all Moms (20:10)
Overstimulation vs. Improved Productivity (21:15)
Give Me Money and I'll Do ANYTHING (25:12)
Blood Gun: Origins (27:45)
…and You Give Me My Phone Call (30:30)
Revisionist Art (33:30)
Top Time Taming Tips (35:20)
Arm the Alarm (36:06)
Winning With Writing (38:40)
Island Time (Rise of the Mole People) (41:00)
Messy Sheets (46:20)
Margaritaville - Eternal Space Solace (49:40)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, everyone who contributed to this week's show for contributing, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor!

Episode 53 - Pros at Cons

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 04 Sep 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's Dragon Con weekend and Adam is heading to Atlanta to mix with celebs, nerds, gamers, and gawkers, so we figured this week we'd talk everything conventions. Along the way we get our cosplay on, meet celebrities, challenge our listeners to a fight, get fired up about germ warfare, stick our arms deep down in the dice hole, and find ourselves needing to apologize to John Ratzenberger... a lot.

Talking Points:

Dragon Carn 2016! (00:00)
Stewart, Shatner, and pewter! (04:25)
Merch! (07:55)
Celebs and togetherness! (15:45)
Overcoming crowd anxiety! (29:05)
Health concerns! (32:10)
Gettin' nasty! (34:30)
The Dice Hole! (39:00)
Our ideal cosplays! (41:12)
The smell! (48:19)
Steampunk! (50:37)
TWAIkN panel/college appearances! (54:16)
Closing thoughts! (57:25)

Commentary - Primer

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 28 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Time travel is hard. And no movie knows that more than Primer. This compact mind-bending indie isn't really in our wheelhouse... because we're not smart enough to understand it. But when has ignorance ever stopped The Worst Adults? So join us - and, briefly, show artist Laura Cooper - for a lot of head scratching, a lot of time travel talk, and a lot of muted coughing from an under-the-weather Adam!

If there's a movie you'd like us to comment on in the future, just let us know!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Laura Cooper again for joining us at the beginning and the end of the show, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor!

Episode 52 - Wow Like You Were Dying

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 21 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

With the scope of medical science expanding faster than the universe, it's possible none of us will ever die... But there's still a chance. That's why we have bucket lists. Writ or not, we've all got things we want to do before we croak.

This week, Adam gets ripped for the sake of art, Matthew accidentally gets elected, Owen Wilson is very impressed with us, everybody travels, we meet a ghost, and our show artist makes a power grab.

Talking Points:

Subway/Graduation! (04:21)
The Price Is Right! (11:27)
Ninja Warrior/Being Kate McKinnon! (14:56)
Get buff for tats! (18:10)
Endangered feasting! (24:20)
Mayor by comedy! (28:24)
Tree house murder! (30:42)
Getting framed! (34:30)
Burning Man! (37:32)
Marry, Whistle, Kill! (39:25)
The impossible traveler! (42:51)
Ghost flips! (46:41)
Debt free and loving life! (49:21)
"Banksy is dead!"* (55:58)

*He isn't really.

Episode 51 - USA! USA! USA!

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 14 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Once every four years the world pauses to appreciate a myriad of sports that otherwise take a backseat to soccer... I mean football... I mean who cares!

The Olympics are here and the Worst Adults are just as pumped as you are! I mean, they must be! They dedicated a whole episode to it. This week they're looking back at Olympics past, explaining some of the lesser known sports, giving your dad a medal, putting horses on blast, taking a quiz, and having a hard time coming up with an intro!

Talking Points:

Injuries and wrestling! (05:35)
We don't know much! (09:10)
Olympic origins/quiz set-up! (14:20)
Q1: The last 5 Olympics! (16:47)
Q2: How many Olympians? (23:50)
Q3: Outcast sports! (31:14)
Q4: Cost analysis! (33:32)
Q5: Summer Olympics 2020! (36:55)
The worst Olympic mascot! (39:49)
The people vs. beach volleyball! (46:28)
Shuttlecocks/ other Olympic sports! (48:30)
Best Dad/violent sports! (52:58)
Pole dancing/fire extinguishing/crime! (56:16)
Olympics too sexy? (58:50)

Episode 50 - Is That a Totoro?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

50 episodes?! Well, this calls for a celebr- What? Wait. You're joking, right? We have to do what? Go back to where?? TO SCHOOL??? Well, alright then...

This week the Worst Adults are prepping you for the new school year! We're teaching you how to dress (light-up shoes!), how to overcome fear (be an adult!), how to make new friends (crime!), how to impress your teachers (bribes!), and how to woo your most attractive classmate (don't!). School won't be your only source of learnin' this year - not now that you got The Worst Adults I Know's tutelage!

If you know any students, teachers, or sycophants, make sure to share this very special episode with them... Because time's running out and Alice Cooper lied to us*!

Talking Points:

Light-up shoes, game manuals! (03:24)
Kid fear! (07:53)
Back-to-school shoppin'! (11:29)
School year bucket list! (14:52)
Partners in crime! (19:25)
Friendship is creepy! (24:03)
Bold moves in superficiality! (26:13)
Teacher talk! (30:35)
T.A.P. - Teachers Against Pinterest! (36:48)
Professor rant! (41:03)
Pokepunishments! (45:53)
Reinventing ourselves! (49:02)
A word from our sponsors! (56:09)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, Netflix for being so rad, and you the listener for sticking with us! If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, and/or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults.

*Ask your parents.

Commentary - Escape to Witch Mountain

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 31 Jul 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Escape to which mountain? Witch Mountain! Disney's minor classic/one of The Worst Adults' childhood favorites from 1975 is now streaming on Netflix, and we're looking forward to revisiting it... with YOU. So sit back, sync up, and get ready to beat up some bullies, get in a stranger's RV, and flip some choppers!

If there's a movie you'd like us to commentate, let us know!

Episode 49 - Keep Gram-Gram Weird

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 24 Jul 2016 10:00:00 +0000

What's weirder than leaving the nest? Returning to the nest. Love it or hate it, it's something most of us have to do from time to time. And the Worst Adults are no exception.

This week we're crashing couches, cuddling up to your vigilante grandmother, creating the next great app/phone peripheral, making small talk, and extol the virtues of the beard. So basically it's just like any other week for us.

Talking Points:

Blankin'! (00:00)
Super Smash Bon Jovi! (05:22)
Returning home revelations! (08:30)
Chores: then and now! (12:44)
Hometown redundancies! (19:30)
Grow a beard! (22:10)
When to go home! (25:11)
Gram-Gram Under Fire! (29:59)
Some people move back! (41:19)
Final thoughts! (46:53)
One upsetting invention! (52:99)

Episode 48 - Gotta Catch 'Em All

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 17 Jul 2016 10:00:00 +0000

"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor vehicular manslaughter stays these couriers from the swift completion of their Pokédexes."

A terrible accident - that can in no way be blamed on Pokémon Go, let us be clear - finds our heroes donning their shorty short shorts once more and abandoning their faux Wienermobile... and your mail is their top priority. This week we debate Pokémon Go's place in the world, give nostalgic movie recommendations, run over a mailman, take marriage proposals (and Olive Garden!) to the final frontier, make up our own Pokémon names!

Talking Points:

The Santa Clause 2: Postmaster General! (00:00)
Pokéfatalities! (04:00)
Pokémon Go 101! (06:50)
Canada No Go! (28:40)
Revisiting our favorite childhood movies! (31:47)
Adam's space proposal proposal! (39:38)
Matthew's space proposal proposal! (46:59)
Pokénames! (51:15)

Episode 47 - On the Road Again

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 10 Jul 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Banana-Coke Slurpee? Check. Slim Jims and Jerky? Check. Rockstar and water? Check! Hands at 10 and 2, mirror adjusted, and we're off on a Worst Adults I Know cross country road trip! Hop in the boy's mini-van and let's hit the road while they discover the secrets of the perfect road time snack, how to find the perfect passenger, and what do do when you're breaking down both mentally and physically!

Talking Points:

On the Road Again (Just Not As Hotdoggers) (0:00)
Rules of the Roadtrip (4:17)
TWAIKn TWINE (6:45)
Road Trippin' Troubles (8:35)
It's Dangerous to Go Alone (11:56)
License Plate Palooza (17:10)
No Slackin' on Snackin' (22:52)
A Free Pass for Eating Garbage (26:15)
Super Stoppin' Spots (31:38)
Make Up the Break Down (36:07)
Navigation Devastation (45:38)
What is Your Freaking Deal California? (49:55)

Episode 46 - Oh, I Wish I Were an Oscar Mayer Wiener

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 03 Jul 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's a grand old flag, it's a high flying flag... and it deserves better than what we're serving up on this, America's 240th birthday. Which is mostly hot dogs. This week we're breaking out the grill, setting off a barrage of fireworks, and driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile all over this great land of ours! If you're not American, don't worry... We are very bad at staying on topic.

Happy birthday, America!

Talking Points:

A Song of U.S. and Fire! (00:00)
Jumping the Grand Canyon! (07:18)
Uncle Sam Beckett! (09:22)
Baby, you're a firework! (13:08)
The Wienermobile exposed! (22:00)
The Taco Taxi! (33:50)
We're very patriotic! (39:14)
Independence Day: Resurgence! (42:17)
Can wieners bring world peace? (44:38)
Sorry, contributors! (47:30)

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper of the webcomic XP for our show's art, Bensound.com for our outro music, and you the listener for sticking with us! A big apology this week to all who contributed... We still love you, just maybe not as much as the Wienermobile. Just kidding. (Unless they give us a job.) If you like what you hear, consider subscribing and rating on iTunes, sharing our sampler, or becoming a TWAIkNtributor at patreon.com/theworstadults! See you next week!

Commentary - Independence Day

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

This weekend saw an end to the 20 year will-they-won't-they odyssey that has led us to Independence Day: Resurgence. To celebrate this, The Worst Adults are talking through the 1996 classic, the summer blockbuster to end all summer blockbusters!

In this epic commentary we once again drool over Jeff Goldblum, salute the film's supreme patriotism, ask Will Smith to have fun again, dissect alien motivations and 90s computer virus construction, say "DAVID!" a lot, elect President Whitmore as our ultimate movie commander-in-chief, and become very concerned about Vivica A. Fox's priorities.

If there's a movie you'd like us to commentate, let us know!

Episode 45 - The Guilty Pleasure Stunt Spectacular

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 19 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's 2016 and everything is fine and there's no problems forever, but every now and then you have things you love that you don't feel comfortable sharing with the world. Well this week The Worst Adults are shaking out the rugs of everyone's guilty pleasures and letting it all hang out!

This week has everything from reality TV to skin peeling to eating delicious garbage food in a hammock - and when a challenge is inadvertently issued the Worst Adults take up the call to arms in a race against time!

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode features the sounds of two dudes eating ice cream without editing (for the most realistic mouth sound/dead air experience possible) - if you think that's wicked gross we'll totally agree with you.

The Meta Cold Open (0:00)
Reality TV (4:36)
Prestiging Shirley Temple (8:00)
750,000 Hours Went Into Making This Podcast (10:40)
Dive into the Shark Tank (13:03)
Bachelor Brackets (19:20)
Peelin' and Poppin' (22:26)
Taco Bell (27:57)
What-A-Bummer (28:53)
Stop, Hammock Time (32:08)
Trophies (33:12)
The Munchies (41:00)
Setting Up the Stunt (42:00)
The Worst Adults 11 Minute Ice Cream Challenge – Sickest Stunt 2016 (46:30)

Episode 44 - Who Let the Dogs In?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

You don't always get to choose who's up in your space... but you do get to choose how you handle their presence. There's the set-up for this week's episode! Get with it or GET OUT!

In this over-stuffed episode, we air grievances with former roommates, debate what is worth putting your foot down over, become Transformers, strap a machine gun to a dog, set Robert Frost on fire, spade and neuter your roommates, and celebrate our superior friendship!

Feel free to play this episode as loud as possible in any shared space you might find yourself in!

Talking Points:

Inside your Transformer's bubble! (03:25)
Neighborhood peepin' and purgin'! (09:52)
Other people! (12:33)
College experiences! (15:38)
Matthew Under Glass! (23:52)
Living with strangers! (26:04)
Give Kelsey a bed! (31:20)
Spay and neuter your roomies! (36:04)
Jordan lays down the law! (42:00)
Passive-aggressive OCD time! (46:28)
Upstairs/Downstairs! (53:40)
Tank Dog! (1:00:47)
MatthewreallydoesloveCanadawepromisesorryKatieMackpleasedon'tleaveus! (1:07:35)

Episode 43 - Can You Teach Me Higher?

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

First off, yes, that title is a Creed reference. Second, no, we don't regret it. Third, Dr. Elizabeth and Dr. Feelworse are back on the show to celebrate Dr. Feelworse's SECOND Master's degree by digging deep into whether embarking on the quest for post-Bachelor's smarts is worth it! Great source material for goofs, am I right?

Talking points:

The Great Cake Mistake! (00:00)
Caps and capes! (06:23)
Commencement speeches! (07:31)
Is higher education a waste? (09:47)
Medical degree dedication! (15:31)
Cohorts! (24:54)
Titles for Masters! (32:50)
Would you degree for free? (39:15)
The SDSU College of Surf Sciences! (45:45)
Wrap it up! (49:00)

This week in particular we have a pretty hefty bonus segment! If you miss the more tangential format our show used to take, you're going to want to become a Patron like right now... Seriously, head over to Patreon and trade money for goofs.

The Morning Drive #3 - Airports

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Fri, 03 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

This morning Adam is dropping Matthew off at the airport... which brings up the question of why people hate driving to the airport SO MUCH. Other topics include snapping turtles, The Ring in a world after VHS players, and Google implants. What a delightful way to wrap up the work week!

As always a big thanks to Laura Cooper, Bensound.com, and you the audience. We'll be back Sunday with a proper episode, promise.

The Morning Drive #2 - Jeffs

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Call us John Denver, because we are on the road AGAIN! This episode is a little less focused, but that doesn't mean it's any less funny! On this particular episode, we criticize other drivers, boggle at gas stations and billboards, and develop a ranking system for Jeffs, Jephs, and Geoffs.

Come back Friday for the final Morning Drive (for the time being)!

As always, a big thank you to Laura Cooper for our show's art, Bensound.com for the tunes, and you the listener for listening!

The Morning Drive #1 - Accidents

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 29 May 2016 10:00:00 +0000

Sometimes the only time you have to record is whole driving to work... And that's exactly what the Worst Adults have been doing. Every so often we try recording our morning conversations in the hopes that something in them would be funny. We were never sure these episodes would see the light of day... Until this week when we needed then. So we hope this experiment works... Because we'll be releasing a few of them throughout this week.

Join us again Wednesday and Friday for new episodes of The Morning Drive!

As always, we'd like to thank Laura Cooper, Bensound.com, and you the listener. We hope you enjoy this slight detour of an episode.

Commentary - Unbreakable

theworstadults@gmail.com (Matthew Hammond and Adam Colvin) — Sun, 22 May 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's the most referenced movie on our show. It's arguably M. Night Shyamalan's best film. It's the quietest superhero movie of all time. And it was about time we got around to talking through this 2000 classic. So get the DVD off the shelf, get comfy, and watch a movie with your best podcasting buddies!

For your convenience, pause the movie right as the lightning bolt illuminates in the Touchstone logo, pause this episode at 3:13, and then hit play simultaneously on both.

If there's a movie you'd like us to commentate, let us know!