I write resumes using past tense verbs, through the entire document, regardless if it’s a current position or not. Every now and then, a client asks why? I decided to post the answer.

Some writers use present tense for current positions, then shift to past tense for past positions. Some writers use all past tense like I do. Either way is acceptable. I intentionally write resumes using past tense verbs for several reasons:

• Power. Say the word manage or managing out loud. – You can slouch and sort of “wimp” it out. Now say the word managed out loud. – You have to sit up straighter and push the word out, putting some power behind it.

Past tense verbs are the powerhouses of the English language. They convey more power, more value, make a stronger impact. Another verb to try is act or acting. vesus acted. You can physically feel the difference in the push and impact when delivering a past tense verb.

• Document consistency. It keeps one tense through the entire document.

• “Been there done that.” While you may still be doing something, you have also done it. You’re conveying a sense of “I’ve done that. What else ya got? I can do that too.”

All that said, if a client isn’t comfortable with past tense for current positions, I make the change. Although, after my explanation, I seldom do. 

What do the following acts have in common?

• Hand-crocheted baby blankets as congratulations for new parents.
• Sent information interviewing and interview prep handouts, at no charge, to complete strangers.
• Took pictures, made reprints, burned CDs or created movies and forwarded to friends and family after parties, showers and gatherings.
• Emailed federal resume writer referral information to callers.
• Emailed pet sitting information – 17 forms and contracts, along with website links and book titles – to several individuals wanting to start their own business. (I ran a successful pet sitting business for seven years.)
• Gave birthday and Christmas gifts to friends and family.
• Introduced people who could benefit from knowing each.
• Forwarded links and articles of interest to help with or enhance a specific piece of business or personal life.
• Did minor edits and revisions to documents at no charge for clients, long after project completion.

Do you give up? Here it is: I’ve done all of these things for people at one time or another in my life and the recipients never took the time to express thanks or even acknowledge receipt. No. This is not a diatribe on the state of society today, although it could be … but I digress. And no, this doesn’t mean no one ever says thanks either.

I didn’t do any of those things expecting a thank you. (OK, maybe a little.) But, I also understand the best intentions can get way laid in the busy-ness of life. I’ll continue to help people, and do and create for them with or without a thank you. The joy for me comes in the doing; not in the thanks.

Fine. I won’t lie. Hearing thank you is nice.

This leads me to my point. With the scarcity of thank yous being handed out today, imagine the impact you’ll have by taking a moment to utter those two powerful words – in a thank you letter after a job interview, in an email or a hand-written note when someone in your network gives you a referral, verbally and with a smile when a stranger holds the door for you. (I sometimes throw in a curtsy …Yes. Yes I do.)

And no, I’m not talking insincere, self-serving, useless platitudes. I mean take a moment and truly appreciate the fact that another human being stepped outside themselves for a moment to do something nice for you and recognize it. You’ll be remembered. Chances are they’ll do it again. And you’ll feel good for making someone else feel good, so you’re likely to pass it along … and pretty soon, we’ll be holding hands and singing Kumbaya together.

Wait … I got a little carried away. Seriously though, a big part of a job search is about differentiating yourself from the rest of the candidate pool. One easy way to differentiate is with two simple words –THANK YOU.

A while back, I read an article stating only 20% of job seekers ever send a thank you letter after an interview. (Of course, I can’t find it to cite now.) Quintcareers.com says 5% and eHow.com says 10% – regardless, it’s a small percentage. In the article I read, it also said, of that 20%, 80% received the job offer because of the candidate took the time to send a thank you letter.

Anecdotally, a client told me, early in her career, she was offered a position because of a thank you. The decision was between to her and another candidate. Her after-the-interview thank you note arrived, it tipped the scales and she got the job. Powerful stuff, that thank you!

Oh, and one more thing, if you’re the nice person receiving a thank you, be gracious in receiving it. It wasn’t “nothing”. Say “you’re welcome” and if you want, tell the person how good it felt to be able to help.

Lest I don’t practice what I preach, thank YOU for spending a moment of your day with me.

For more of my thoughts on the power of thank you, you can read this post too.

We are not garbage. (And no, that's not my house. *smile*)

This week I lost a client. It happens. That’s not the reason for this post. You know I’ll eventually get to the point, but first some background. The client was someone who had some “not that big a deal jobs” in her career (her words, not mine). She decided to reinvent herself, went back to school and recently earned a two-year nursing degree. She had her license (meaning she’d sat for and passed the boards) and was ready to launch her new career.

When we first spoke, she was tentative about working with a pro to create her resume. The more we talked about the process and the leg-up she’d have in the job market, the more excited she became. She quickly saw the resume creation process was not about hiring someone to type and that a resume wasn’t flopping job descriptions down on a sheet of paper and hoping someone would call. She saw value in the process. She realized she needed help transitioning the skills gained from her “no big deal jobs.” She started to see she HAD gained skills from those “no big deal” jobs. She booked.

I called at the appointed time. She started the conversation with “we need to talk.” I don’t care the circumstance; those are not words anyone wants to hear. She nervously started the conversation with something like, “I’ve decided the fee we discussed WASN’T WORTH IT because I don’t have that much experience. I’m JUST a recent graduate with ONLY clinical nursing experience. My mom and I talked about it and agreed, my other jobs WEREN’T THAT IMPORTANT so it really shouldn’t take you that much time to put something together for me.” I politely asked what price point she and her mom thought was fair for her specific circumstance. (All caps mine, not hers)

(Note: I was mirroring her verbiage. I avoid using words like cost or price when discussing investing in a career. Price is what you pay for milk. Investing is what you do when you’re looking for long-term benefits. Investing in professional guidance and support while shaping your career, and in essence your life, is an investment that delivers almost a 100% ROI in a very brief time … but I digress.)

Anyway, she and mom decided her resume was worth only half of what I originally quoted. I politely explained the process I’d take her through once again and the additional handouts I provided as part of the resume package. I went so far as to share how many hours are spent working on this type of project, breaking down the price to an hourly rate. After the calculation, I asked her if she asked if she was willing to work at that hourly rate. Funny. She wasn’t. But she also wasn’t willing to move forward with the project, reiterating she’d done so little in her career she didn’t see how it could possibly take long to share it.

Seeing a deeper problem here I backed off. She wasn’t balking at the investment level for a resume. She was balking at taking a chance on investing in herself. She didn’t see her own value. I can’t fight that. Here is someone who already invested several thousand dollars on her education, spent hundreds of dollars on books, worked hours and hours gaining clinical experience and studying for state boards, gave up two years’ income to earn her degree and sacrificed family time and social gatherings for those two years to study. My fee for resumes pales in comparison to what she’d already invested.

What happened between the time we booked and the time we were ready to get started? Negative internal sentences. And, yes, I’ll say it out loud, a mom willing to support that negativity, in essence encouraging her daughter to devalue herself. I know this wasn’t the intent, but it sure was the outcome. During the entire conversation, this young woman kept using the words, “just”, “only”, “not worth it”, “no big deal.” Knowing this battle was lost, I shifted into helping mode. (I know. You’re screaming WHY????, but I had to do something to circumvent the “I’m not worthy” thinking … if I could.)

I spent about a half-hour sharing a few sites that would help her get the correct focus for a search and help her craft her own career sales and marketing documents. (I know. I’m devaluing my own value by giving my knowledge away, but someone had to be a positive force in this young woman’s life. I decided I was willing to donate 30 minutes to that cause.) I suggested a different perspective on her work history. She thanked me and said, “I’ll give it a try. If I get frustrated, can I change my mind and come back and have you do it for me?” I assured her, if she needed help I was there.

I then told her, “I don’t care if you find another writer. I don’t care if you do it yourself. I don’t care if I never hear from you again. I don’t care if you call next week and we get started then. The thing I do care about is how you’re talking about and to yourself. No matter which way you choose to go with this, you have got to dump “the just, only, not worth it, no big deal” messages from your life. If your perception of yourself is so negative; if you place such minimal worth on your life’s experiences to date, how will you ever convey your value to a potential employer? If you tell someone you’re no big deal, then can you blame them if they start believing it too? In this job market, people that believe they’re no big deal take a lot longer to land jobs than those who go into the interview, and though life, confident in their skills and the value they bring. There is no such thing as “just” when it comes to talking about yourself.”

I don’t know that I’ll ever hear from her again. I can only hope at least part of what I said stuck. If nothing else, I hope her story helps someone else see their value. We’re not garbage. Most of us are viable, contributing members to society. Believing it is the difficult part.

Today, an “innocent” link floated by in the Twitter stream. I’m normally a “live and let live, you’re entitled to your opinion” kinda gal, but when my entire industry is bashed, I have to take a stand. It doesn’t matter the original post is from April 2009. Broad brush generalizations about ANY industry serve no one.

This is the post: “Resume Writer Ripoff – Why not buy better drugs? (tips for the job search)” (And yes. I realize I’m driving traffic to a negative post, but sometimes you “gotta do what you gotta do” to circumvent that negativity.)

The site is selective about allowing comments, so rather than wait to see if I pass moderation muster, I’ll post “the other side of the story” on my own blog.

Here’s my response:

Painting the resume writing profession with such a negative broad brush is akin to saying all used-car dealers are crooks, all lawyers are sharks and many of the other ridiculous generalizations permeating our society today.

Yes. Absolutely. There are rip-offs out there — as in any other profession on earth.

To say “this is the general process” casts negative aspirations on those of us who poke and prod and cajole and spend hours ferreting out the career stories that differentiate our clients from the rest of the pack. And offer ongoing support during the process — frequently at no additional fee.

“Well, I believe that an excellent resume writer spends a lot of time talking with you and produces very few resumes.” You’re correct in this assertion. A good writer seldom goes back and forth more than once, maybe twice with a document. I don’t have time to tweak a document 15 times. I do the homework and research up front so by the time I deliver, it’s usually a slam dunk.

This line intrigued me:
“…when pressed on ‘what is your resume writing process” I got a lot of hand-waving. I should have stopped right there, but all these people had told me ‘his resume helped me get a job’, so I went forward.”

Personally, I’ve found when I don’t listen to my gut, I usually get burned. Sounds like peer pressure overrode common sense and now an entire industry is being blamed for bad research and decision-making.

I’m not foolish enough to think my CPRW credential gave me mind-reading capabilities. I won’t work with a client that doesn’t understand there is a lot of heavy-lifting and introspection involved in creating effective sales and marketing documents. It’s up to them to provide the career details so I can develop a solid presentation. I also expect them to research their industry so they are aware of what the “buyer is buying” — what the companies are hiring — so the document is focused on easing corporate pain.

As I said, there is “bad” in every profession. But failure to do due-diligence and establish expectations up front is not indicative of a bad industry. It indicates a lazy-job seeker, looking for a panacea without being willing to put forth the effort it takes to find a quality writer that meets their expectations.

Bash the specific provider, if you must, but don’t put true professionals or the entire industry in the same bucket because of a bad decision on the job seekers part.

====================

PS: My dear friend  and quadruple-certified resume writing colleague Rosa Vargas started to post a comment a here, but ended up with so much to say on the topic, it turned into a full blown post on her own blog. It’s definitely worth the read. Check it out.

Career Collective post: Once every month or so, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.

This month’s topic: “Networking.” Responses from others contributors are linked at the end. Search the hashtag #CareerCollective on Twitter.

Networking. The mere mention of the word strikes terror in the hearts of even the most seasoned professionals. For some reason, the thought of connecting with fellow human beings has become more like something we have to do, instead of something that happens naturally. What used to be pleasant conversation and sharing morphed into to-do list entries and deadlines. We set specific dates and list relevant topics for planned contact. We make detail notes regarding outcome. We schedule the next contact. Whew. Sounds like work.

True. Everything works better with a plan. And there’s nothing wrong with contact management systems, especially when incorporated into a job search. But networks and connections aren’t just for job search. Get caught up in the busy-ness of business and life and risk missing important supports and resources. Isn’t networking another word for “staying in touch”? Focus on being a supportive friend and business associate. Share – ideas, training opportunities, business articles, hobby-related information, recipes, a quick hello – whatever may interest your contacts and watch your network grow. Stop fretting so much about the concept of networking and start cultivating relationships – a solid network sprouts from thoughtful, considerate contact.

Recently, two clients, independent of the other, shared networking stories with me. Both clients experienced the power a network they didn’t “intentionally” engage. First is Albert. Albert recently completed his master’s degree in psychology. He’s been considering different career paths ever since graduation. Albert remains, after all these years, connected to a childhood friend, Fred. While Albert and Fred now live in different states, they make time for occasional catch-up phone calls. During a recent call Albert mentioned his latest career options to his friend, as part of the overall update, not in a “help me find a job” context at all. Fred’s father has known Albert since childhood and always welcomes his son’s updates after a phone conversation with his old friend. Fred shared Albert’s most recent academic accomplishment. Fred’s dad said, “Gee, I was golfing with a friend the other day who can use someone with just that background …” Albert flew out for an interview this past Thursday.

Candice attended an industry conference a few months ago. She ran into a former colleague, Les. They’d touched base over the years, but it was nice to have a face-to-face opportunity to connect. They quickly shared life and career highlights and drifted back to conference sessions. Several months later, Candice’s phone rang. It was Les. Les had a conversation with another industry associate. That associated needed Candice’s skill set to launch a new program. Candice flew out last Tuesday to interview for the position.

Both clients enjoyed the conversation with old friends. Both conversations, inadvertently led to career opportunities. Both interviews came about because of a casual conversation. Neither position was advertised. Both positions were “perfect” for the respective client. Albert and Candice were the first, and hopefully only candidates, interviewed. They entered the interview knowing their contacts “pre-sold” their skill set giving them an unsolicited, enthusiastic endorsement. Both opportunities emerged because of an effort to stay in touch.

Absolutely, plan your work, work your plan, attend networking events, keep your online presence clean and up-to-date. That’s all important too. But don’t forget to sit back. Sip some lemonade on the porch with a neighbor. Email an old friend. Connect. You never know where you’ll find that next opportunity. There … doesn’t networking sound like a bit more fun?

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

5 Little Secrets About Networking, @Careersherpa

Networking: Easy as 1, 2 , 3, @WorkWithIllness

How to Take the Intimidation Out of Networking, @heathermundell

Networking for the Shy and Introverted, @KatCareerGal

A tale of two networkers, @DawnBugni

Introvert or Extrovert: Tips for the Job Search No Matter Which ‘Vert’ You Are, @erinkennedycprw

Networking for Job Candidates Who Hate Networking, @heatherhuhman

Networking? Ugh! @resumeservice

Network, Network, Network, @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes

3 ways to make networking fun for introverts and extroverts, @Keppie_Careers

Grow Your Career Networking Seeds Organically, @ValueIntoWords

Networking: It’s a Way of Life, @WalterAkana

Social Media Networking & Your Career, @GayleHoward

Networking: Why who you know doesn’t count, @Chandlee

Networking for the Networking-Phobic, @JobHuntOrg

Back in the late 70s, early 80s I attended a Careertrack seminar. I don’t remember the name of the seminar. I don’t really remember the exact topic, but one story the presenter shared stuck with me all these years.

The presenter, (we’ll call her Sue) traveled across the US doing seminars. Because of a hectic travel schedule, Sue spent a lot of time in airports people watching. One day, she noticed a woman in an absolutely beautiful white suit. It fit her to perfection and had delicate, intricate embroidery adorning the jacket. The woman was breathtaking and caught quite a few eyes as she navigated the airport terminal. Sue approached her and complimented her exquisite raiment. She went on and on about the fit and the gorgeous detailing. The woman thanked her and shared she had made the suit herself AND done all the embroidery work. This blew Sue away. Not only was the suit (and the woman) stunning; the woman created it. Then, the woman did something equally stunning to Sue. She started pointing out the flaws in her own work. “I appreciate the compliment, but I never took time to line it properly. <opening her jacket to demonstrate> Look at how ragged the seams are. I should have finished them better. And really, if you look, I probably should have trimmed up the ends of the embroidery threads a little closer. It shouldn’t look this rough on the inside. I should have lined it.”  WHAT???? In about two seconds, this impeccably-dressed woman took a well-intended, sincere compliment and used it as an opportunity to point out the “flaws”, degrading herself and her talent in the process.

Sue used this example to show how we (especially woman) find it difficult to accept a compliment. Rather than say “Thank you.” or “Thank you. I always feel good when I wear this suit.” we find a way to negate our own wonderfulness. Sue challenged us that day to start graciously accepting and enhancing compliments. At the very least she wanted us to learn how to say “thank you” … and then shut up. She wanted us to stop diminishing ourselves with reasons why a compliment couldn’t possibly be valid. It’s not only insulting to the giver. It’s insulting to you too.

I use this same idea to help clients understand it’s OK to answer interview questions without offering every shred of detail about a circumstance. For example, I worked with a talented and skilled nurse a while back. During the information gathering part of the resume process, she told me about a previous job she’d lost because of family crisis. Without prompting, she told me her son’s former girlfriend (and guardian to their two children) had been arrested. Her son was out of town and everyone was unsure of the arrangements made for the children. She had no choice but to miss work, locate the children and ensure their safety. She lost her job because of it.

I was taken aback. I’d not asked for an explanation and didn’t need to know that level of detail. “Past family crisis” and “it’s now under completely under control” was all I or anyone else needed to know. Recognizing how freely she shared this information with me, I had to ask if she ever shared this story during interviews. You guessed it. Her response was “Of course. It’s the truth. My past employer was wrong and I want a potential employer to know it wasn’t my fault.” (From a hiring standpoint, do you see a few red flags here?)

Sadly, even with impressive credentials, leadership capabilities and vast medical knowledge, potential employers had little interest in her after an initial interview. When I asked if she saw a possible connection between that story and no job offer, she didn’t see it. In her mind, she was being honest. She didn’t see how an employer may see her unnecessarily-shared past baggage as overriding her expertise. In essence, she took a “beautifully-embroidered, perfectly-fitted white suit” and showed the “lack of lining and embroidery knots” with the details behind the termination. She diminished her expertise and, I’m sure, talked herself out of countless positions. (We worked out a less telling way to share that piece of her employment history.)

I’m not proposing making up things or lying during interviews, but an interview isn’t the time to show your lack of lining. You don’t have to bare your soul and share your most intimate secrets and questionable personal information. Take time to prepare and rehearse a positive response to “sketchy” portions of your work history.  (And if you’ve worked long enough, you’re sure to have had a bump in the road somewhere along the line.) An interview is the time to put your best foot forward and dazzle a hiring authority with your expertise. Find a way to answer questions while painting yourself in the best possible light. Show off your perfect fit and exquisite detail … and then shut up.

PS – See the power and impact of a good story when used to demonstrate a point (or a skill). This one stuck with me for almost 30 years. Stories sell. Stories are memorable. Perfect yours.

Career Collective post: Once every month or so, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.

This month’s topic: “Heating up your job search.” Responses from others contributors are linked at the end. Follow the hashtag #CareerCollective on Twitter.

My dog, Summer, happy it's "Summer time."

Wooo-Hooooo! Summertime. Cookouts. Fun with family and friends. Time to break out the new grill. But wait. What’s that on the outside of the box – some assembly required?

“<Gulp> You mean I have to read the directions? Never mind, I know what I’m doing. I’m mechanically inclined. I’ll be able to figure it out as I go. (Four hours later.) There, last screw tightened. I’m not sure why they included all these extra parts. They must do that as a precaution; although this hose looks important. Oh well. I know what I’m doing. I would have figured out where it went it was that important. (BBQ time.)  Awww man. The grill won’t light. Figures. Shoddy manufacturing. They just don’t make things like they used to anymore.”

Hmmmmm. Is it any wonder the grill didn’t light? Now imagine a job seeker taking this same approach to their search. With more and more and more companies going to online applications, it’s inevitable, at some point in a search you’re going to have to fill out an application online. From personal experience and anecdotal evidence from countless clients, navigating the process is challenging … at the very least. Most systems have instructions and information regarding what you can and cannot do and what’s required to complete the process. Failure to follow the directions can leave you in the same boat as the “grill master” above.

A good friend, Gayle Tabor of Glynne’s Soaps, recently sent this Dear Abby letter* to me. Here’s a perfect example of what not following the directions can do:

“DEAR ABBY: The company where I work posted an ad online and at our state unemployment job board for a position that needed to be filled. The ad detailed simple but specific instructions that included asking applicants to write a cover letter to address certain questions. It also said — in large letters: “YOU MUST FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS OR YOU WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED FOR EMPLOYMENT.”

Of the 133 resumes we received, 76 did not contain the information that was requested. These applications were moved to an “Incomplete” file and not considered for hire. What’s sad is that judging by their resumes alone, several of these applicants had the qualifications we were looking for.

With unemployment being what it is, I was surprised that the majority of the applicants did not comply with the simple instructions. Please advise your unemployed readers that a job is out there for them, but they must follow instructions.”

Read this part again: “What’s sad is that judging by their resumes alone, several of these applicants had the qualifications we were looking for.” This implies 57% of the applicants, many qualified for the position, were not considered. They were knocked out before they even had a chance to dazzle, because they failed to accomplish the simplest task: Follow the directions.

Just like the poor soul with the grill, you can’t heat up a job search if you don’t follow the directions. While you’re relaxing this summer, take a moment to reflect on your search. Are you failing to read or ignoring the directions? Are you figuring it out as you go and then wondering why you’re not getting any response? Change the approach. Read the directions. Sometimes little things can make a big difference.

PS: And don’t forget, while you’re out having fun this summer, use opportunities to expand your network whenever possible. (For help with that, read this and this.)

*It’s the last letter on this page: Dear Abby

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

Turn Off The Computer, Tune Into What’s Happening, & Heat Up the Job Search, @chandlee

Heating up the Job Search-How to Stay Motivated During the Summer, @erinkennedycprw

Light the Fire Under Your Feet, @careersherpa

Cool Job Seekers Heat Up Their Search in the Summer, @barbarasafani

Some assembly required, @DawnBugni

Summertime, Sluggish Economy Provide Strong Motivation for an Updated Resume, @KatCareerGal

9 Ways to Heat Up Your Job Search This Summer, @heatherhuhman

Getting Out From Under Chronic, @WorkWithIllness

Upping Your Job Search Flame; Be ‘Needed, Not Needy,‘ @ValueIntoWords

Is Your Career Trapped in the Matrix? @WalterAkana

Put some sizzle in your job hunt – how to find a job now, @keppie_careers

Summertime – and the Job Search Ain’t Easy, @KCCareerCoach

Heating up your job search. 5 ways to dismiss those winter blues, @GayleHoward

Hot Tips for a Summer Job Search, @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes

Heat Up Your Job Search: Avoid Job Boards, @JobHuntOrg

Heating Up Your Job Searching Skills: Networking 101 and 102, @GLHoffman

Treasure Hunt—Yo-ho-ho! Heat Up Your Job Search, @resumeservice

I originally wrote this article for the Burgaw Chamber of Commerce monthly newsletter a few years ago. After a spate of recent clients insisting that “everyone” would know what this or that acronym meant, I decided to dig this out of my files and rerun it on my blog. Since I was writing for the chamber at the time, my original audience was business owners and employers, however, this advice definitely pertains to job seekers too.

“We’ve enlisted the help of the NEA, NMA and RFD to implement – ASAP – TQM, GMP and JIT with Six Sigma guidelines using QA input. Additionally, we’ve purchased an AED with complete ICD-9-CM coding and are targeting a stellar ROI and immediate turnaround with all programs.”

While that may sound impressive, it is really nonsensical. But, admit it, you were almost afraid to say “What?” Yet, how many business people communicate like this everyday, assume everyone else understands and no one says “Huh”? When did it become fashionable to “talk at” each other using letters and jargon and not “speak with” each other in plain, simple English?

Working with individuals from different industries and backgrounds to create resumes, I frequently have to ask, “Wait, what does that mean? What do those initials stand for?” And, since I don’t work face-to-face with clients anymore, (only over the telephone and via email) I can only imagine the “deer in headlights” look of surprise when I stop them mid-sentence and ask them to explain.

I keep www.acronymfinder.com and Google open on my computer during client consultations. Why? Because (no kidding) more than 50% of the time, the client themselves no longer remembers what the acronym or jargon means. They were “integral in implementation”, but have difficulty recalling what all that double talk means. I help them along with searches and suggestions!

So, what does this have to do with you? You speak with individuals inside and outside your industry, conduct business with people from all walks of life and give employees direction every day. If you rely heavily on acronyms and jargon to communicate, you may not be getting your message across. Do you wonder why your employee’s eyes glaze over when you tell them what to do? Are your curious about why every time you place an order with a vendor, it’s wrong? You have to have understanding before you can reach agreement and move forward.

Here’s an example: When you say ASAP (as soon as possible) – what do you mean? Perhaps my ASAP is next Tuesday, your ASAP is in an hour. You get angry when I don’t meet your definition and I end up frustrated because I missed a deadline I didn’t know existed. What’s wrong with: “Dawn, I need this in an hour.” to which I can reply “I’m booked until next Tuesday, but since you told me you need it so quickly, I can move some things around and get it back in two hours. Will that work?” Goodness – we’re talking, reaching agreement and moving forward – in plain, simple English.

True, acronymns and catch phrases do have their place in language. However, if you use heavy doses of “alphabet soup” and business speak in everyday conversations, assuming everyone knows what you mean, then – well … you know what happens when you assume.
————————————————————————————-
Definitions*:
NEA = National Education Association
NMA = National Management Association
RFD = Rural Fire Department
ASAP = As soon as possible
TQM = Total Quality Management
GMP = Good Manufacturing Practice
JIT = Just in Time – an inventory control method used to reduce on-hand inventory
Six Sigma = a system used to reduce defects in service and manufacturing
QA = Quality Assurance
AED = Automated External Defibrillator
ICD-9-CM = International Classification of Diseases, Clinical Modification (In reality, ICD coding has nothing to do with an AED)
ROI = Return on Investment
*some of these have acronyms have multiple meanings. I’ve only listed one.

Career Collective post: Once every month or so, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.

This month’s topic: “Preparing for success…What should job seekers do now to prepare for interviews?”  Sometimes a long-time job search winds up in an interview scheduled with little lead time. Responses from others contributors are linked at the end. Follow the hashtag #CareerCollective on Twitter.

I was having lunch with a friend a few years ago when a former coworker of hers entered the restaurant. It had been years since they worked together or even seen each other. They exchanged hugs and “how ya beens” quickly catching up on each other’s lives.

The former coworker (we’ll call her Janet) shared that her family was moving to Raleigh in a few weeks and she would soon be looking for a new job in a new town. What she said next floored me. “I’m so glad I ran into you. Tell ‘Dr. Bob’ I’m going to use him as a reference when I start filling out applications next month.” Up to this point, I sat back and enjoyed watching two former medical office coworkers get reacquainted. It crossed my mind to hand her my card and suggest she’d need a good resume to launch this search, but didn’t feel it proper to impinge on this reunion with a sales pitch for my services, so I remained quiet.

Hearing Janet arbitrarily decide to it was OK to “tell” someone she was going to use them as a reference and relay that message through a third party was more than I could take. I joined the conversation. I asked Janet if she’d spoken with Dr. Bob recently.

J: “Oh no. It’s been years since I even thought about that job. Running into “Diane” {my friend} reminded me he’d be a good person to use for a reference.”
Me: So how long has it been since you’ve had contact with Dr. Bob?
J: Oh, about 10 years?
Me: And you’re sure he’ll remember you?
J: No way he’d forget me.
Me: And you don’t think he’d mind if you used him as a reference, without his permission?
J: He’d be happy to do this for me.

Do you see the red flags and assumptions in this approach?

I told Janet I was a resume writer and gently explained how this approach to listing references wasn’t in her best interest. She listened politely then interjected, “Gee. I guess you’re right. I won’t use him as a reference … unless I decide to call him. Thank you.”

On the way home, my friend said, “I’m so glad you stopped her from giving Dr. Bob’s name for a reference. She seems to forget, her last day at work, she pulled a bunch of Dr. Bob’s partner’s client file, documented how she disagreed with Dr. Sue’s methodology and diagnosis, indicating what she thought “should” have been done for these patients. She left that tall stack of folders on Dr. Bob’s desk. He wasn’t happy the next morning when he came in to the pile on his desk with “opinions” now documented as part of the client’s chart. There’s no telling what he would have said if someone called asking about her.”

Recently I worked with a client who didn’t get along with her boss. She asked if I would do a reference sheet for her too. I agreed and instructed her to put together a list of people and I’d format it to match the rest of her career documents. She paused, “I really don’t want to use my current boss as a reference.” I said, “OK. Don’t then.” She continued, “But don’t I ‘have’ to list his name? Isn’t that what you’re ’supposed’ to do?”

Another client was convinced she “had to have” a reference from every place she worked and was stressing because some earlier employers were no longer in business and she’d not kept up with someone from every place she’d worked for the last 20 years.

It’s time to take the “supposed to dos” out of the equation. Following are some reference guidelines (in no particular order) to help you avoid the mistakes listed above and ensure your references help, not hinder your search:

1. Don’t use someone as reference unless you’ve asked permission and updated them on your career goals. IF they are called, you want them to support and enhance your search. They can’t do that if they don’t know you’ve given out their name, don’t remember you or don’t what you seek.

2. Unless you are 100% sure of what someone will say about you, don’t use them as a reference – period. “She does a great job … when she shows up for work.” is not a good reference

3. Give your references a copy of your current resume. Coach them on the points you’d like reiterated if they are called. This is your search. You know what your potential employers are looking for because you’ve done your homework. Don’t expect your references to know the nuances of your search. Tell them.

4. Touch base with your references to let them know how the search is going. Keep them in the loop if you think there’s a chance they might get called after a promising interview. Job searches can last six to eight months or longer. Stay in touch during that time so they’re reminded you’re searching.

5. If everyone knows you by one name, but you’re conducting your search using your formal given name, be sure to let your references know that while they know you as “Bobby Smith”, they’ll get a call asking about “Todd Robert Smith.” Don’t assume they’ll know you use middle name and a nickname of that to boot. Tell them.

6. Don’t assume that the only reference checking a potential employer will do is from the list you hand them. Employers check your online presence. They employ third-party agencies to check backgrounds. You have no control over how they’ll check on you or who they’ll contact in the process. Take control of the one small piece you can influence by having well-prepared individuals waiting in the wings to sing your praises.

7. Don’t send your reference list with every single application. Respect your references. Only give out their information if asked and only for positions you truly want. They’re doing you a favor. Don’t wear them out with calls about jobs you have no intention of taking. And don’t overload a potential employer with information they didn’t request either.

8. Leave “References available upon request” off the bottom of your resume … of course they are. No need to state the obvious.

9. Have a list of references readily available. Bring a hard copy of them with you to the interview. If you’re asked for references, you want to avoid that “deer in the headlights” look and you surely don’t want the added stress of scrambling to get everyone on the same page at the last minute. You may never be asked for them, but take the time to gather and prep them, just in case.

10. Three to five professional references usually suffices, but if asked for more or less, follow the hiring company’s request. And remember, “professional” doesn’t necessarily mean paid. Don’t overlook the volunteer connections you’ve made along the way. Some companies want personal references too. You spouse / significant other is not the person to use in this instance. Select a non-related, long-time friend.

Is it crazy for company to use a candidate-provided list to verify the information the candidate provided? Personally, I think so, but it’s an expected piece of the hiring process. Use it to your best advantage. Dump the “shoulds” and arbitrary “have to’s” from the process and ensure you have people willing to actively and positively participate in your search. And when all is said and done, don’t forget to the take the time to THANK THEM.

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

Sit Down and Panic. The Interview is Yours @GayleHoward

How to Stand Out in a Job Interview @heathermundell

Avoid These Reference Mistakes @DawnBugni

Unspoken Secrets of Job Interviewing Prep: How Your Nonverbal Presentation and Behaviors Impact the Impression You Make @KatCareerGal

Prep for Interviews Now: Snuff out the Elephant in the Room Later! @chandlee << not working yet

What Should Job Seekers Do Now to Prepare for an Interview @erinkennedycprw

Take a Ride in the Elevator Before You Interview @barbarasafani

Are You Ready for the Elephant in the Room? @WorkWithIllness

“Tell Me About Yourself” (Oh, Yikes!), @KCCareerCoach

The job interview as a shared narrative @WalterAkana

Prepare your references for job search success @Keppie_Careers

No Pain No Gain In Job Search and Interview Prep @ValueIntoWords

Job searching? Take a cue from the Boy Scouts @LaurieBerenson

Preparing for Career Success Starts with Interviewing the Employers @JobHuntOrg

Going to the mall is always an adventure. When darling hubby (DH) and I go together it’s doubly so. He works in a local high school, so almost anywhere we go in town we see “his kids.” It’s like hanging out with a celebrity with all the teenagers yelling “Hi, Mr. Gary”, waving and hugging. Today, we were at Penny’s, looking for new jeans for him and the usual thing happened. We saw lots of “his children.” However, the last one stuck with me. He told me I was a buzzkill.

There we were, waiting in line to pay for DH’s jeans. He spotted a boy (OK, young man) from his high school and stepped out of line to speak with him. I stayed in line, but could hear the conversation.

Hubby (DH): Hey man. What’s up? What ya doin’?
Young Man (YM): I’m here looking for a job, filling out a few applications.

Up to this point, I’d barely acknowledged the exchange. The kid said the word “job” and “application” and I immediately turned in – imagine that. The check-out line was slow moving, so I had time to join the conversation. Mind you, I’d not paid much attention when the young man passed by originally, but after hearing his primary reason for being in the mall today (Sunday) was for job search (Sunday?) he had my complete attention. As I turned, I now looked at him with a career coaching eye.

The conversation continued.
DH: So you’re looking for a job?
YM: Yup. Thought I drop by and fill out a couple of applications.

He’s wearing tennis shoes, shorts, a t-shirt (with a logo of some sort – at least it wasn’t a questionable saying) and a knit jacket.

Me: You’re here applying for a job?
YM: Yes ma’am.

And golly gee, before the filter that stops everything that pops into my head from coming out my mouth even had a chance to operate, I blurted out, “Dressed like that?”

YM: Yes ma’am.
Me: Really?
YM: Well. I’m on my way to the gym.
Me: No excuse. (Smiling.) I should explain. I’m a resume writer. That’s what I do for a living. I work with people seeking employment every day.
YM: Guess I should have come after the gym.
Me: Yes. After you’ve changed clothes and are ready to make a good first impression.
DH: You only get one chance to make a good first impression.
Me: I’m sorry. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything.
YM: Well. It is kind of a buzzkill.
Me: I know. I’ve been called worse.

He bade farewell and quickly left. (Gee. I wonder why?) I know what you’re thinking. Lighten up Dawn. He’s a kid. It’s “just” a job in the mall. But, think about this. At some point he’ll graduate. I don’t know his future plans – school or work – but I do know one thing, his future will include a job search. And in most instances, you don’t advance your career in shorts and a t-shirt. (And you’re never too young to learn that lesson.)

Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything. I regret if I embarrassed him, but if two minutes worth of buzzkill helps him land his next job, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.