The Year 2011

Yet Another Interview

2011-03-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Today I had another interview with Wal-Mart at 10am, unlike the last 4 interviews with them this one was for frozen/deli stocking. The interview went alright and I was told if I didn't hear back by Wednesday then I wouldn't. I always hate the interview process even though I feel like they all go good, I'm always left to wonder, in the past 6 months there's been five interviews with Wal-Mart, one interview with Target and one interview with Meijers. Id say all went well, but what do I really know?

The year started off on a really good note, I was extremely optimistic, remember? Yeah now my optimism has died considerably and in the last month or so a series of really bad events transpired and even though I have applications out at everyplace I can think of, I still do not have a job.,My desire for college has also taken a hit as it and many other things, have almost fallen off my priority list.

But fingers crossed for that call back

March!

2011-02-26T19:39:00.000-08:00

Its my month, the month everything changes, because it has to, the month I finally take everything into my own hands, the month I take complete control, absolutely no regrets.

I promise to myself, I will no longer let me down, I'm the strongest person I know, time to put my power to use.

Book's

2011-02-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

Last week I finally got my Kindle I'm the mail and promptly bought my first eBook, Steven King's "The Long Walk". I'm only five chapters in, as I have only started to actually read it yesterday, its awesome what books can do to the imagination. When I read its like a movie playing out in my head I visualized everything to pretty good detail, I like waiting for whats coming around the next corner of the book its interesting, its not the chilling horror I was hoping but it has a very intriguing, eerie darkness to it that makes it, its own.

I cant wait to get started on the second book I purchased, Lorena McCourtney's "Invisible", but thats much later, as according to my Kindle I'm only 35% into the current book I'm reading. The Lorena book is more of a humorous mystery, the current book horror. These are just the first two fields I cant wait to dive into the other genres in time.

Gone Too Far

2011-02-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

It really disturbs me how certain people don't know how far too far is, I recently had an encounter with a subject that shall remain nameless but the joke was out of line, no it wasn't racist , homophobic or political, none of those things bother me in the slightest but the joke was overwhelmingly unmoral. I was taken pretty far back, the joke was just sick and out of line. Its crazy how the process of thinking can vary from individual to individual.

Morale

2011-02-02T14:03:00.000-08:00

Its hard looking on the bright side when theres so much doom and gloom around. Since the new year Ive been trying to keep my head up and look forward and beyond but it gets hard when people choose to be stupid and get little attitudes cause they had to do one thing for you, or seeing how $$$ can change a personality or people do stupid destructive things like complaining about shit they don't have when they could have had it if only they weren't stupid. I'm done caring about family nepotism and it really bothers me how certain people in my family feel the need to give advice when their really in no position to give it.

What goes around comes around, treat those how you want to be treated etc, etc. I'm so sick of being around all this negativity and drama and general bad news. I'm just fed up, they say misery enjoys company, I have to start making more serious changes if I want to not get buried in all of this. The ship is sinking, I got to put on a life jacket. So much I want for myself, Ive got to work harder, leaving family behind seems to be the only way I will be able to do this, Im done caring about family nepotism too I cant let their things defeat me.

“My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won't let me.”

^_^

2011-01-31T18:53:00.000-08:00

A quiet day nothing all really happened, it was just a very chill day sitting back watching 30 Rock on Netflix, it does bother me that Tracie Morgan has such a key role and the fact that he could double as Whoopi Goldberg's twin Brother is disturbing but I digress

Tomorrow is going to be the Snow Apocalypse so its likely to be an unproductive day. More Netflix and 30 Rock! Meanwhile I need to revamp Operation Gut-2-Cut, its a resounding flop, for now. By weeks end, Ill have reinvented the routine into an affective plan.

"That perfect tranquility of life, which is nowhere to be found but in retreat, a faithful friend and a good library and of course, Netflix”

Daily blog quota

2011-01-30T16:00:00.001-08:00

Its always great to have friends who you can just be yourself with. I find that I am lucky to have the friends I have, we've known each other for a decade and we've got the weirdest funniest most odd stories, we're kind of an odd bunch but we are who we are. We're not adrenaline junkies or athletes we're just chill mello yello type people who like games and technology. You can't ask for a better group of friends.

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Blogging

2011-01-29T13:43:00.000-08:00

Sitting here watching Julia and Julia is really inspiring to me, I like how the new modern Julia begins her blog about food to be an escape and to also maybe prove she’s got what it takes to be a writer. I have so many blogs of my own and since 2006 I’ve made quite a few, but none of the earlier ones really held on solid like the ones of more recent years. Now I have a blog about photography, entertainment ranging from video games, celebrity gossip and music, and one chronicling my year of trying to better myself. When I blog it does serve an amazing outlet my old computer tech teacher once told me I should be a writer or a news magazine editor because of the work I used to relating to album sales senior year.

I think I would make for a great writer, I don’t know everything but I think I have the basics down. I try to make my blogs look both professional and personal as possible after all they are pieces of me. I’ve learned so much about punctuation through blogging but I have a long way to go. It’s hard to explain the satisfaction I get from a good posting I’ve wrote, it’s an amazing outlet and I enjoy it beyond explanation. It’s a bit of a bummer not having the traffic like the big dogs but I don’t exactly go out of my way to promote either, that’s mostly because I’m a little self-conscious my blogs are my babies, what if no one likes them, it’s a hard scenario to think of but I would love it if I could get regular feedback on the things I post.

I love all my blogs regardless of traffic and Ill likely make more Im going to be taking up reading soon so that will likely be a new blog, Ill be going to school in the fall or summer so there will be a blog to follow that and I want to learn to cook so there will likely be a blog for that.

Viva la blog’s.

Preparing

2011-01-25T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm slowly preparing for this venture into college, Ive been trying to get better at this thing called Math, which is easily my weakest area academically. Some of the things Ive tried to get better at stick but most don't. Numbers are a tricky game to master. Numbers get me terribly disoriented when a bunch are in my face at once, its almost like they just start switching positions but I shall keep studying up in hopes of making improvement, a battle not to be won anytime soon however.

"Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true”

Thinking Out Loud: Pooper Scooper

2011-01-23T19:31:00.000-08:00

My neighbors across the hall in our apartment haven recently been making some poor decisions. You see, between us we have a total of 5 dogs I only have one, they have two but often dog-sit, the poop scooping situation was always very clear, you scoop up your dogs poop and you obviously don't let your dog's poop in the same area of our dog.

This was an unspoken but of mutual understanding, code. However I realized one day that while scooping téh poopie, not all of it was from my dog. It dawned on me, those skinny bitches next door have been secretly letting their dogs go poo-poo in my territory knowing I frequently scoop téh poopie, and assumed I wouldn't notice the extra loads. Expect their dogs are flea bitten, inconsistent, worm infested muts, its highly noticeable. There actions are reprehensible, and are actions of great disrespect and of poor personal taste. Luckily, I walked out the other day while one of them was letting there dog go in my dogs area, fake apologies were spoken, these people own 3 cars, I dont know how... It would be a shame if something happened to that shinny yet, ugly new Suzuki SUV.

Parents

2011-01-22T17:29:00.000-08:00

Well today was an interesting day Started off on a good note and stay good mostly towards th e end here it got odd, realizing that alot of the people I grew up with have kids and/or are married is hard to process. At 23 I thought it was ideal to not have kids. I feel like I'm missing the links. I had a plan when I was 13 to be married and be working on my career by 25 and then worry about kids. That seems so terribly old fashion, it was old fashioned back then.

I have a new plan now and thats just to bump the original plan back 4-5 years. Its still very odd feeling seeing friends already enter parenthood I used to associated parents as mature adults, thats not entirely the case anymore..

What really bothers me is some people just haven't stepped up to their duties the way they should be, it bothers me when people are having Facebook feuds and talking Fuck this, Bitch That. Its just a sad realization that not all parents were truly meant be parents.

You have to conduct yourself in a way to positively be reflected through your children, but if mommy and daddy are regularly acting a fool its bound to start making a mold on the character there going to come into. Though this doesn't apply to every parent or child. I have seen some really good parents too very respectable and doing what they have to do to take care of there child and make a positive atmosphere.

Good or bad I cant help but wonder what its like to be a parent.

Art

2011-01-21T18:02:00.000-08:00

I love Art, its the manifestations of your mind onto a canvas, thats the beauty of it. The mind lets you create or see what reality cant, until you re-create it. Theres something powerful to me about a really good painting, or photo or even a song , song is less of a form of art than ever before in this day in age but when one is crafted well it can be a masterpiece, a Mona Lisa to the ears. My favorite painter is Frida Kahlo they way she put her pain and passion into her work without holding back speaks to me. Her paintings are graphic but honest to her envision.

I was never that great at art, average, if that, but what I see in my head I cant put into a canvas the exact way I see it, not like my older brother who has a superb gift. One could think of life as a form of art the planet being the canvas your job, your family. Trying to make everything you do a masterpiece is art doing your best at anything is art, you just have to know what your doing is what you should be doing and follow threw. Live your life like an unfinished painting, a work of art you haven't quite perfected. Thats how I'm going to start living my life, in the end I want something that can not only be marveled at but also respected.

Life is a work of art- you gotta paint it colorful
Can make it anything you want
Don't have to stick to any rules
You don't need a high IQ to succeed in what you do
You just gotta have no doubt just believe in yourself

Daily Blog Quota : Bloggers Block

2011-01-19T19:37:00.000-08:00

Well American Idol was good, Steven Tyler adds a good element..... Weather was crappy.... didn't get to make the calls I wanted...... I just have nothing to talk about today nothing at all. It was a boring day with nothing interesting to speak of.... Tomorrow I should be back in full swing

“The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.”

Fearless

2011-01-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

I had a crazy awesome talk with someone about going after your dreams, it was a long talk I got more out of it then them. I believe there's something heroic about someone going after something they want, traveling completely out of there comfort zone to do so.

It made me look at myself a bit harder, a little bit closer. I mean I haven't stepped out of the box in a while if I could carry my home on my back like a crab I might have, but I have a new outlook if there can be someone willing to take on the harsh unknown to face everything with determination regardless of just how crazy what they want might but then perhaps so can I. You have to be fearless, but you have to be willing to be vulnerable also. The rubber gloves are off, now lets see what tomorrow brings.

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

Daily Blog Quota

2011-01-17T16:38:00.000-08:00

I actually had some things I planned to do today, I ended up doing none of them. Just had too many thoughts going threw my mind too many emotions (I'm sure thats something to look into). I have nothing interesting to blog about today but I already have a good one for tomorrow if the day plans out even 10% better than today.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

This Week's Goals

2011-01-16T16:09:00.000-08:00

Follow up on every place I applied for a job at, even the ones I'm least interested in.

Work in Daily 15 minute minimum exercise routines.

Switch MUM start date from Fall to Spring.

Start educating myself on thing I want or need to know, now.

Improve my cursive and overall penmanship.

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

Thinking Out Loud: Volume Uno!

2011-01-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

So today I was sitting watching 30 Rock via Hulu when a car insurance commercial came on, it had something to do with GPS and possibly a crash, but I just thought suddenly how weird it is that any place you could ever go has basically been documented and made available to anyone wanting to travel to wherever, whenever. The prospect of knowing where everything is, is mind boggling when you think about it. One could almost say you'd have to be stupid to get lost in the 21st century, one could, but certainly not I. It is however a convenient luxury I suppose but it does take a bit of adventure out of life now doesn't it, that's a rhetorical question.

Anyways to continue on with the mass documenting thing, its cool, but just a little eerie too perhaps I'm being dramatic but Google can basically find anything, a store, a person, where you left those keys, its nearly endless. I guess we have it quite easy now.

"Nice"

2011-01-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

Often I wonder what it would have been like if I turned out differently, if I weren't such a "nice guy". There comes these times where we do things, nice things, and they do not pay off or they backfire completely and you just end up thinking "Wow, I shouldn't have been nice" or "man, why do I even bother trying to do nice things".

I tend to have these moments a lot, Ive seen quite a few jackasses in my day get by just fine without the letdown of doing good things or being generally kind, so why not be this way. Then I start thinking of people like this and how abominable they are, its just not in my coding to be malign. Im learning more and more to be who I am no matter how unjust the results. Being true to yourself its the most important thing, take what you can from any situation, learn from it and grow it from it.

“Every man, at the bottom of his heart, wants to do right. But only he can do right who knows right; only he knows right who thinks right; only he thinks right who believes right.”

"23"

2011-01-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

In my 23rd year I wish to Live a healthier life

In my 23rd year I want to be a better uncle

In my 23rd year I will be more productive

In my 23rd year I will work hard

In my 23rd year I will learn more

In my 23rd year I will be more self-motivated

In my 23rd year Ill take more chances

In my 23rd year Ill be more assertive

In my 23rd year Ill be a better person

In my 23rd year Ill be more prioritized

In my 23rd year Ill make progress to everything I can do and more, to everything I want and more.

In my 23rd year, Ill make it a hell of a lot better than my 22nd year, Ill keep the things and people that matter to me close and the ones that don't at bay. Ill work harder at establishing myself as an independent self sufficient human being.

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.”

Pieces Of Me

2011-01-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

I lost some pieces of myself over the past four years, some big, some small some not so important others very important. No one reason as to why these pieces of me started to cease to be, but a series of different events, if any. I miss these parts now and have for awhile but kind of just settled with he idea of those parts of me being gone forever. There just pieces of my overall character I need to get back. Now I need a big flashlight to search the black-pit that is my soul, to find these pieces to reform the me I used to be and eventually create the me I want to be..

“Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.”

"When Its Too Much"

2011-01-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

When its too much, stop and breathe, be at ease never give up its better than it seems

When its too much, fight a bit harder, stay a little stronger just a a bit longer

When its too much, keep looking up, its not that tough just never give up

When its too much remember whats worth it, your worth it, I'm worth it, remember the things that keep us all going. - Brandon Hall

Its been a long day operation Gut-To-Cut is off to a slow start but a start nonetheless, got hit with a bit of bad news today that ultimately killed my day but I'm looking past it. I realize I need to put more effort into things I want, I want to lose weight I need to try harder, I need to find a job I need to try harder, feels like Ive applied everywhere, I just want a job already but I haven't given up it'll happen sooner than later.

Game On... Almost

2011-01-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

Monday I was suppose to begin my diet and exercise Gut-to-Cut routine, but unfortunately I wasn't really feeling it 100% and it didn't happen. Not sure why I didn't jump into the swing of things, today was a good day got some things done but it just wasn't there for me I guess. Tomrrow Operation Gut-To-Cut goes fully operational! I actually have the entire day mapped out already, itll be a piece of cake, sugarless fat-free cake.

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”

Everything TAKES TIME

2011-01-09T18:52:00.000-08:00

So after piecing together my plans for the next five years, it hit me that nothing happens overnight I have big dreams, bigger plans but theres so much ground work to be made before the gears will even start going into motion. The work in between will make the end result so much sweeter. I can only hope to obtain maximus knowledge for my cranium along the way, but boy is it time to live!

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.”

I Know What I Want

2011-01-08T14:27:00.001-08:00

Someday's its a bit grey and others vivid with color. Sometimes something occurs that reminds you exactly why you want what you want. Watching people you know stuck in the past, driving in the same line for as long as you can remember, watching them make the same mistakes again and again a lifetime over it can really put some things in perspective.

Just to have fewer grey periods Ill list a few for a constant reminder

I want to teach, I want to be a teacher, I want to go to college to become a teacher, I want to have a career, a career in teaching.

I want to be proud of what I do, I want success,

I want to move out of Middletown

I want to own a house someday

I want to live comfortably

I want to own a NEW car

I want to not hate the man in the mirror

I want to be more active

I want to gain more knowledge.

The list goes on but these are the center of attention.

“The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

The Unflattering Photo....

2011-01-07T16:23:00.000-08:00

Ever take a picture that turned out so hideous you'd never let the world see it? Well not to long ago I was strolling threw my nephew's mother's Facebook pictures of his 1st Birthday party, clicked Next a few times and there I was, I was in a paralyzing gaze with the photo at hand! It was so bad, I cant even put it into words, but I did not like what I was seeing (I guess that is kind of putting it into words but I digress)

Monday Ive decided I'll go back to my apartments crappy excuses for a gym to drop some lbs. It goes hand in hand with my getting into shape new years resolution. I cant express just how much I hate this incredibly small, sometimes smelly gym, but Ill have to bare with it if I want have future photos of me taken that I don't despise.

Operation Gut-To-Cut begins Monday!

And yes that photo is over-dramatic, but oh well!

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”