The Zach Wilson Messenger Gallery

Coldplay

2011-04-27T08:02:00.001-07:00

Bones sinking like stones,

All that we fought for.

Homes places we've grown,

All of us are done for.

The Zach Wilson Messenger Gallery brings us back to the year 2000 when Coldplay was fresh and ingenious and all that mattered was a little bit of Parachutes. Here's to many more Coldplay albums to come. That hopefully are better than Viva La Vida.

Super man or squished man?

2011-04-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

So you tell me folks, is this a picture of a man who was just ran over by a car and he is now laying in a puddle of blood or is he wearing a cape and flying off to save the day. Or perhaps is he just a figment of your cold dark imagination that comes back and haunts you at times that you never expected and then when the moment is too late you forgot exactly what it was you wanted to say but the moment never returns. Loose lips sink ships.

Portal Freaking 2

2011-04-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

In honor of the release of one the best games ever invented, we bring you this amazing schematic of just how great portals are in case you forgot. Can anyone tell me what the red dot on the outside of the building is? Happy Portal 2 Release Day!
(P.S. Remember to click on the pictures to get a larger view.)

The Dark Side of the Google

2011-04-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

When an amazing album and an amazing search engine come together.

MUSE

2011-04-11T15:52:00.001-07:00

And after a year long hiatus the Zach Wilson Messenger Gallery is back bringing you this illustration of how MUSE is a shining light in the pile of crap that the people of today call music.

Tom's Acoustic Adventure

2010-03-09T13:33:00.000-08:00

Meet Tom (Tom had been abonded at birth and had no idea who he was or what his last name was); an ordinary man of less than minimum size who has always dreamed of playing the acoustic guitar. What most people don't realize, is how freaking huge an acoustic guitar is to a person of less than minimum size. This posed a problem to Tom, as well as his rapidly increasing case of Achondroplasiaphobia, which is of course the fear of midgets. As Tom's life went on he had robbed a Guitar Center for an acoustic guitar (its net worth was around $49) and he hopped on a train to become a traveling hobo. Eventually the cops found him and shaved his head. They were about to begin their annual "Beat a Midget for Heart" campaign when an eccentric time traveling doctor in space showed up and offered everyone a jelly baby. Tom saw the oppurtunity and siezed it by headbutting the guard in the perfect place. (Tom was just the right hight for these maneuvers). He ran off with his guitar and attacked a fire hydrant and a park bench. (This could have possibly been his Achondroplasiaphobia acting up). All of a sudden a squirrel crawled inside his ear. *thud* He woke up to a scottish late night tv host and a ninja playing chess. "It's a great day for America everybody" the drunken scottish man exclaimed. The ninja replied by simply saying "I'm a ninja." Tom asked them what had happened and all the ninja said was "There is no spoon". Slightly confuzzled, Tom noticed that the three of them were on a pirate ship. The drunken scottish tv host said "I don't think..." and then he disappeared. The ninja realized that he had won the chess game and in a mad flurry he pulled a midget out of his pocket and began dancing with it. Needless to say, Tom through the midget off the ship. I suppose now is a good time to bring up the fact that Tom didn't realize he was a midget. He thought he was like everyone else, just a bit smaller than others. The ninja, upon realizing the irony of it all chuckled to himself and clicked his shoes together three times and said "I look forward to killing you all soon!" The next thing Tom knew he was being transported through what seemed to be a hole in space and time. The ninja laughed insanely as he slowly faded away. Tom materialized on the set of Avatar and James Cameron nailed him to a wall. As Tom hung upon the wall in complete silence he observed the making of Avatar. There sat James Cameron in a small room with 9 computers, 4 techies from geek squad and an endless supply of hot pockets. Tom noticed that the entire film was made in this room, with everything synthetically created on the computer, including the actors voices. (The actual cost of making the film Avatar was $600...half of that went to the supply of hot pockets...the other half was to buy the techies new cell phones).

The film was released to the theaters and James Cameron took the nail out of Tom and said he was free to go. Tom grabbed his guitar and put it in his back pocket and headed out of the studio. Outside was Ben Stiller dressed up as one of the Na'vis trying to stir up commotion about the new blockbuster film. "I could have worn my spock ears" Ben said as he hid his head in shame. After robbing a Starbucks for a coffee Tom set out once again to be taught by a guitar legend, so that he may actually learn to play and people would thus worship him and his greatness. He had remembered that he had a friend named Joe Satriani back in grade school, and he always heard Joe talking about how he would become a guitar god. Tom figured he could get lessons from him. He dug Joe's phone number out of an old scrapbook that he kept inside the guitar he stole and phoned Joe up from a stolen payphone. They arranged to meet and catch up on things at Joe's house. There were gnomes on Joe's lawn and Tom promptly destroyed them. After 17 hours Joe deemed Tom unteachable as he was just to freaking small to play guitar. Tom was furious at this notion and nailed Joe to the wall. (He had learned some great techniques from Mr. James Cameron.) Tom took all of Joe's guitars and amps and his tour bus and drove off. He sat on 4 halfstacks in the drivers seat so he could see out the window and he used two 24 fret "Surfing with the Alien" guitars to control the gas and brakes. After about 6 minutes Tom realized that the entire bus was actually on auto-pilot and was driving him to Joe's next gig...with Joe's new band chickenfoot. Upon arrival at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix the bus unloaded Tom and all of Joe's guitars and amps. It plopped him on stage with Sammy Hagface and the other people. Sammy Haghair shouted something annoying into the microphone and a thumping bassline and drumroll ensued. Luckily Tom looked like Joe Satriani, being shaved bald and all, and one of the roadies brought Tom a pair of shades and a chair to stand on. Tom knew this was his destiny. He raised the surfing with the alien ibanez guitar he was holding and began to play. Sammy Hagbag shouted more things and the bass and drums sent the que for a guitar solo. Tom started to wail. He even began playing with his teeth. Sammy Haggag shouted something else and the song ended. A riot broke out in the audience as they realized how much this band sucked. Tom turned around and noticed that he wasn't even plugged in...all of the guitar noises were pre-recorded tracks by the real Joe Satchafunkalis. He bowed his head in shame as people began throwing knives and diapers onto the stage. Sammy shouted again and people became even more enraged. Tom ran out as one of the roadies said "Exit...Stage Left!" Instantly Tom was transported through another hole in space and time to the front row of RUSH's Exit...Stage Left concert. "Today's Tom Sawyer He gets High on you, and the space he invades he gets by on you." Geddy Lee looked into Tom's eyes as Geddy sang Tom Sawyer. Tom realized who he was. He was Tom Sawyer like the great prophets Rush foretold. Tom's theme song had been unveiled to him upon his very eyes. He lived by this song from here on out. He's a modern day warrior, mean mean stride, today's Tom Sawyer, mean mean pride.

Tom was a time traveling reality bending midget who had a severe case of Achondroplasiaphobia. Peace out Tom.

Triple Projectile Vomit

2010-02-28T21:41:00.000-08:00

This time its triple the power for the people. Also feeds hobos.

Extremely Radioactive Pee

2010-02-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

You can't get more radioactive than that.

And Just Keep Going Up

2010-02-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

Just keep going up...

WHEEE Part 3

2010-01-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

After a long hiatus, The Zach Wilson Messenger Gallery makes a stunning return with WHEEE Part 3!

The Dark Black Wilson - Movie Ad

2010-01-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

Zach Wilson of course has an alter-ego. The Dark Black Wilson. His life story is coming to a theater near you...

Color Cube

2010-01-03T17:14:00.001-08:00

Color^3

Laser Your Face Off Part 2

2009-12-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

"Your fire's blue, and there's nothing I can do."

Laser Your Face Off

2009-12-18T19:11:00.001-08:00

If someone ever threatens to laser your face off...this is what they mean.

The Exclusive Editions - Exploded but Didn't Blow Up

2009-12-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

The first in this new series, (The Exclusive Editions), we bring you an old time favorite with new graphics and explosive goodness. It almost seems like its in HD or something. You can once again feel safe letting your children see this without being emotionally scarred.

Projectile Vomit Part 3

2009-12-17T21:10:00.000-08:00

Projectile Vomit in its most recent form can be visually stunning, yet make you want to rip your eyes out all at the same time. That's the miracle of the Wilson Creations. They are always something.

Jaws Strikes Back

2009-12-15T11:09:00.001-08:00

This is what you get for pretending the danger's not real.

The Man-Eating Couch

2009-12-15T11:07:00.000-08:00

Pssshhh more like a man-eating box of some sort.

The Backside of a Super Hero

2009-12-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

It could be a bloody, flying head...or a flying christmas tree...whichever you prefer.

Why?

2009-12-14T18:35:00.000-08:00

That's why now stop asking questions.

WHEEEE Part 2

2009-12-13T21:36:00.001-08:00

The infamous WHEEE character gets his head exploded in this fantastic part 2 adventure.

The Ode to Google

2009-12-13T20:40:00.001-08:00

Next up we have Zach's recent ode to Google.

This drawing definitively proves that Google is better than anything.

WHEEEE

2009-12-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

Following the current obsession with super heroes of some-sort...

WHEEEE may be one of (if not THE) most recent drawings on this site at this time.

Super Simple

2009-12-09T17:02:00.001-08:00

Well, sometimes being simple is the best way to show feeling...in a lot of ways this is true.
Zach expresses how a simple creation can be held high with all the others. It teaches you not to discriminate...and realize everything and everyone has an equal shot at anything and everything.

As you can see from the drawing, life is better left simple. Hats off to you Zach.

How to Hover

2009-12-08T15:28:00.000-08:00

In recent news, a select few people have discovered how to hover.

In this classic Wilson creation, Zach depicts exactly how it all happens.