Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul

Monologues by Simon Paul

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 06:29:00 +0000

I have now published all my current monologues in one handy collection on Amazon.
The link to the UK site is here: The Butler and Other Monologues
As well as my own, there is one that was written by my daughter when she was eight. It was part of a school project about WWII and is a letter home from an evacuee. It was used in a review I was involved in with Southfields Theatre Group. I recorded my daughter reading it and put some very atmospheric music over the top of it.
Anyway, you can buy or borrow these monologues from Amazon and if you do, I really hope you enjoy them.

My Scripts - BIG UPDATE

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 25 Aug 2013 10:49:00 +0000

Forget below. I have now found a new place to sell my wares: Script Circle.
I am now getting all my scripts uploaded so that customers past, present and future can enjoy performing my ~~ridiculous drivel~~ brilliant masterpieces.

~~Unfortunately, the site where my scripts were for sale, Production Scripts, has folded.~~
The former owners have intimated that the site has been sold on and that it will be up and running again in due course. However, there is no concrete evidence of this. Consequently, until I get a chance to clean up this blog, all the links to my scripts are now broken. If you would like further information about my scripts then please contact me directly. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

More limericks

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 28 Jul 2013 18:56:00 +0000

There was a young man with a chin

That was long and sharp and thin

The ladies would stare

Sometimes fondle his hair

Which left him in rather a spin

There was an old doctor called Brown

Who would often cycle round town

His long black hair

Caused the ladies to stare

But the men, they only could frown

I’d driven my car through mud

As such it was covered in crud

Difficult to see

I just missed the tree

But came to a stop with a thud!

The Spaceman - launching soon...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 17:50:00 +0000

My latest monologue, The Space will be available on Productions Scripts soon. Here is a short excerpt to whet your appetite.
"Welcome to my audio blog called ‘A Life in a Day of a Real Live Spaceman.’ Well, here we are with T-minus three minutes before blast off, sat in the command module atop 225,000 kilograms of highly explosive materials. With a little help from God and a long taper, this metal monster will propel us to the international space station which will be home for the next forty five days. On my left is Grigory Kucherov, another seasoned spaceman. He’s been to the space station before. He’d love to tell me about it but I speak no Russian and he speaks no English. "

More details and a link to the script coming soon...

Some Home Grown Limericks

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:10:00 +0000

There was an old man in a hat

Who felt that he looked like a twat

His face was so thin

With a stupid wide grin

And his legs were large, round and fat

There was an old man in an inn

Whose love of his life was gin

When it came to his round

He ne'er had a pound

So his mates they battered him in

There was an old man with a shoe

Who said "oh what shall I do?"

"I've got two lovely feet,

which are really neat

but only one shoe, not two"

There was a young gardener from Leeds

Whose garden was covered in weeds

He got out his hoe

And got ready to sow

A selection of interesting seeds

(C) Simon Paul, 2013

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: The Secret Agent

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 09:31:00 +0000

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: The Secret Agent

The Terrapin

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 13:52:00 +0000

Latest in my series of monologues although slightly different as it does not follow the day in a life of a particular job.

The Terrapin is basically a bit of a rant by a man who receives an unusual gift for his fiftieth birthday. Okay, the title is a bit of a give-away in respect of the gift but how he deals with it is another matter altogether.

The Secret Agent

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 08:08:00 +0000

Within days of its publication on Production Scripts, my latest monologue, The Secret Agent made its first sale. Only a review copy but a sale nevertheless. It was purchased by a teacher at a high school in the US who also purchased various other scripts. He may have been amassing material for a high school review or just for some drama class exercises.

The Secret Agent joins my other scripts which are all now increasing in popularity. There are a lot more ideas in motion and I will be publishing further scripts, both monologues and full length pieces throughout 2013 and beyond. In the meantime, happy New Year to all my blog followers and readers.

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: Simon's Cat

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 21:13:00 +0000

I know that Christmas is still a long way off but this makes me laugh so much...
Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: Simon's Cat

PARAPROSDOKIANS

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:27:00 +0000

Wow, what a word! This has gone viral today via email but I just had to share it. Great fun, enjoy!

Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 20:14:00 +0000

Now live and available here: http://www.productionscripts.com/simon-paul-frog-prince-p-779.html?osCsid=2f8ac67ef9e89fa21630b1a8237ac6fc

Simon Paul - that's me!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:26:00 +0000

Just a quicky to tell you about a new blog I've set up just so that the World can get a sensible idea of who and what I am. It can be accessed either via my domain: www.simonpaul.net or directly at: www.simon-paul.blogspot.com

The Frog Prince - Coming to a Living Room Near You!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:34:00 +0000

Thanks to Nicole for getting together the DVD of The Frog Prince of which this is a short trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqw-caAtYYs&feature=youtu.be

Amateur Star Wars

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:30:00 +0000

This is an incredible film, a complete remake of Star Wars by amateur film makers contributing 15 second bits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ezeYJUz-84
Part live action, part animation, part puppets and so forth, it has been put together from a web site called Star Wars Uncut. It is being pitched as an example of crowd sourcing. So far, in just a few days it has had well over a million hits on YouTube. Brilliant.

The Frog Pince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:28:00 +0000

The final night of the first ever run of The Frog Prince is now over. Aaah!
It turned out to be a brilliant run with audience feedback more than exceeding expectations. As writer as well as director, it was particuarly satisfying to see my work performed and in such a manner that, with an amateur group, was as close to my vision for the show as possible. Just to clarify, in an amateur group, one works with people who choose to come along. One does not have the luxury of being able to cast West End pros. With The Frog Prince, I had the pelaseure of working again with some regular members of Southfields Theatre Group but also some new members of varying theatrical experience. I think for everyone, the experience was a pleasurable one and, crucially, we all learnt a lot and, made new friends in the process.
So, what next? Well, I for one have some other scripts that are works in progress. Not sure yet what the Southfields Theatre Group intends to put on but it will be a dramatic piece round about May/June, another reveiw for charity in the autumn, followed by the next winter panto. What will my contribution be? Not sure yet but what I do know is that I need a rest.

First night nerves...

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 09:41:00 +0000

After a slow and somewhat nervous start, the opening night of The Frog Prince proved a rip-roaring success. Although audience numbers were slightly disappointing (sign of the times) everyone left with happy, smiling faces. Feedback from a good proportion of the audience was that the show was brilliant - trust me on this, ask them! Three more performances to go and tickets still available: http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/event/19213

World Premier of The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:59:00 +0000

Yes, tonight, Thursday 19th January 2012, marks the World Premier of The Frog Prince.
Our audience of one, eight year old Ben, rated it 10/10 after watching the dress rehearsal last night. In just under five hours time, it's all hands to the deck, all cooks to their stations and all drivers in their cabs as the curtain rises. Will you be there, or will you be square? Don't miss out on the theatrical highlight of the year: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Three Things to Celebrate in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:53:00 +0000

Yes, 2012 is a great year for the UK. During the summer, we shall be watching the Olympics, hosted in London, the best city in the World - probably. Shortly before that, we shall be whooping it up with HM Elizabeth II to celebrate her phenomenal 60 years as sovereign. Finally, this week sees the World premier of The Frog Prince by Simon Paul. Book here: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk
Support your local theatre group at Amdram

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:55:00 +0000

My latest script, The Frog Prince will be premièred next week, 19th through to 21st January at St Michael's School, Granville Road, London SW18.
The story has been taken from the traditional frog prince story with elements added from the lesser known story of The Well at the End of the World. Whilst loosely written as a pantomime, it could also be viewed as a straightforward (if such a thing exists) comedy. It is fairly fast paced and has a running joke reflecting the times we live in.
To find out more and to book tickets, go to: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Simon's Cat

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:53:00 +0000

No, not my cat but a very witty animation by another Simon.
I can't help feeling that my cat might get up to something like this at Xmas.
Anyway, enjoy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2h3_aH3vo&noredirect=1

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography site builds up its content

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:41:00 +0000

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography site builds up its content

Have fun going round in circles!

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 23:17:00 +0000

The Frog Prince written and directed by Simon Paul of the Southfields Theatre Group will be performed on 19th, 20th and 21st (including a matinee) January 2012 at St Michael's School, Southfields, SW London. Tickets are available through TicketSource.

This is a World Premier containing an array of weird and wonderful characters on their quest for the Well at the End of the World. The production will see a number of new members of the Group joining some of the regulars in an amusing and entertaining romp around the UK. Don't miss it - book now to avoid disappointment.

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:43:00 +0000

Coming soon...

January 2012 to be precise.

The Frog Prince

a new pantomime

written by

Simon Paul

directed by

Simon Paul

More information as and when available at:

http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:22:00 +0000

Theatre Photography

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:49:00 +0000

For theatre groups, Simon offers a reasonably priced attendance at rehearsals and performances. Getting some good pictures for publicity purposes is essential. You may also want stock pictures of your actors and back stage staff. You will be provided with a one-off disc or USB stick for you to choose to print whichever you please when you please. Special rates for amateur groups who can benefit from making money selling prints to cast, friends etc.
http://www.skazmanagement.co.uk/skazography
http://www.skazography.blogspot.com

skazography is a trading name of Simon Paul