Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul

Some Home Grown Limericks

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:10:00 +0000

There was an old man in a hat

Who felt that he looked like a twat

His face was so thin

With a stupid wide grin

And his legs were large, round and fat

There was an old man in an inn

Whose love of his life was gin

When it came to his round

He ne'er had a pound

So his mates they battered him in

There was an old man with a shoe

Who said "oh what shall I do?"

"I've got two lovely feet,

which are really neat

but only one shoe, not two"

There was a young gardener from Leeds

Whose garden was covered in weeds

He got out his hoe

And got ready to sow

A selection of interesting seeds

(C) Simon Paul, 2013

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: The Secret Agent

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 09:31:00 +0000

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: The Secret Agent

The Terrapin

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 13:52:00 +0000

Latest in my series of monologues although slightly different as it does not follow the day in a life of a particular job.

The Terrapin is basically a bit of a rant by a man who receives an unusual gift for his fiftieth birthday. Okay, the title is a bit of a give-away in respect of the gift but how he deals with it is another matter altogether.

As with all my other monologues and scripts, it is available through clicking this link to The Terrapin at Production Scripts.

The Secret Agent

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 08:08:00 +0000

Within days of its publication on Production Scripts, my latest monologue, The Secret Agent made its first sale. Only a review copy but a sale nevertheless. It was purchased by a teacher at a high school in the US who also purchased various other scripts. He may have been amassing material for a high school review or just for some drama class exercises.

The Secret Agent joins my other scripts which are all now increasing in popularity. There are a lot more ideas in motion and I will be publishing further scripts, both monologues and full length pieces throughout 2013 and beyond. In the meantime, happy New Year to all my blog followers and readers.

Facebook..?

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:34:00 +0000

So Facebook has floated the left ear of its business making the founders richer than Croesus and leaving many mere mortals wondering how this mammoth of the Internet World can be really worth $100bn.
The words Emperor and clothes spring to mind especially now that it's been revealed that investors may not have been privy to the revenue forecasts put together by advisers prior to the flotation. Okay, yes, zillions of Facebook users all waiting to be exposed to the end result of mad men's output may generate significant revenues. But this is also a costly business to run. Apart from the need to constantly upgrade and increase its server capacity, it also needs to innovate. It needs to constantly find new ways to attract and retain users. It can do this in part by buying new, small companies (like Instagram) but integrating these into the Facebook fold is no cheap, nor technically simple operation.
The key issue though, is what happens when the novelty wears off? What happens when the site gets regularly hacked, infested with viruses, stalkers and perverts? These are just some of the longer-term issues that Facebook needs to address. At the end of the day, we have to ask - what value does Facebook add? How does it satisfy customers' needs? It is a strange dichotomy in that on the one hand someone will complain about the introduction of ID cards or the number of CCTV cameras invading their privacy whilst at the same time posting pictures of their children to several million people they will never meet let alone get to know.
Have the Emperor's new clothes already started to become ragged?

Post-Script 05/10/12
Well, was I right? A plummeting share price reflects what investors really think of the value of the business. In part this is due to the uncertainty as to how Facebook will generate mobile revenues. It will probably have to follow Google in launching its own range of smartphones to derive any meaningful mobile revenue but advertising, I'm not so sure. Less than 24 hours after FB hit its one billionth member, uncertainty still prevails. Just as I quit FB when I hit 3,500 'friends' of whom I knew about 100, perhaps FB will begin to question whether people collecting is just a matter of style over substance!

Post-Post-Script 14/03/13
Al this is rather meaningless and boring. Why not check out my scripts instead: http://www.productionscripts.com/simon-paul-m-155.html

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: Simon's Cat

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 21:13:00 +0000

I know that Christmas is still a long way off but this makes me laugh so much...
Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: Simon's Cat

PARAPROSDOKIANS

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:27:00 +0000

Wow, what a word! This has gone viral today via email but I just had to share it. Great fun, enjoy!

Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 20:14:00 +0000

Now live and available here: http://www.productionscripts.com/simon-paul-frog-prince-p-779.html?osCsid=2f8ac67ef9e89fa21630b1a8237ac6fc

Simon Paul - that's me!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:26:00 +0000

Just a quicky to tell you about a new blog I've set up just so that the World can get a sensible idea of who and what I am. It can be accessed either via my domain: www.simonpaul.net or directly at: www.simon-paul.blogspot.com

The Frog Prince - Coming to a Living Room Near You!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:34:00 +0000

Thanks to Nicole for getting together the DVD of The Frog Prince of which this is a short trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqw-caAtYYs&feature=youtu.be

Amateur Star Wars

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:30:00 +0000

This is an incredible film, a complete remake of Star Wars by amateur film makers contributing 15 second bits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ezeYJUz-84
Part live action, part animation, part puppets and so forth, it has been put together from a web site called Star Wars Uncut. It is being pitched as an example of crowd sourcing. So far, in just a few days it has had well over a million hits on YouTube. Brilliant.

The Frog Pince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:28:00 +0000

The final night of the first ever run of The Frog Prince is now over. Aaah!
It turned out to be a brilliant run with audience feedback more than exceeding expectations. As writer as well as director, it was particuarly satisfying to see my work performed and in such a manner that, with an amateur group, was as close to my vision for the show as possible. Just to clarify, in an amateur group, one works with people who choose to come along. One does not have the luxury of being able to cast West End pros. With The Frog Prince, I had the pelaseure of working again with some regular members of Southfields Theatre Group but also some new members of varying theatrical experience. I think for everyone, the experience was a pleasurable one and, crucially, we all learnt a lot and, made new friends in the process.
So, what next? Well, I for one have some other scripts that are works in progress. Not sure yet what the Southfields Theatre Group intends to put on but it will be a dramatic piece round about May/June, another reveiw for charity in the autumn, followed by the next winter panto. What will my contribution be? Not sure yet but what I do know is that I need a rest.

First night nerves...

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 09:41:00 +0000

After a slow and somewhat nervous start, the opening night of The Frog Prince proved a rip-roaring success. Although audience numbers were slightly disappointing (sign of the times) everyone left with happy, smiling faces. Feedback from a good proportion of the audience was that the show was brilliant - trust me on this, ask them! Three more performances to go and tickets still available: http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/event/19213

World Premier of The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:59:00 +0000

Yes, tonight, Thursday 19th January 2012, marks the World Premier of The Frog Prince.
Our audience of one, eight year old Ben, rated it 10/10 after watching the dress rehearsal last night. In just under five hours time, it's all hands to the deck, all cooks to their stations and all drivers in their cabs as the curtain rises. Will you be there, or will you be square? Don't miss out on the theatrical highlight of the year: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Three Things to Celebrate in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:53:00 +0000

Yes, 2012 is a great year for the UK. During the summer, we shall be watching the Olympics, hosted in London, the best city in the World - probably. Shortly before that, we shall be whooping it up with HM Elizabeth II to celebrate her phenomenal 60 years as sovereign. Finally, this week sees the World premier of The Frog Prince by Simon Paul. Book here: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk
Support your local theatre group at Amdram

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:55:00 +0000

My latest script, The Frog Prince will be premièred next week, 19th through to 21st January at St Michael's School, Granville Road, London SW18.
The story has been taken from the traditional frog prince story with elements added from the lesser known story of The Well at the End of the World. Whilst loosely written as a pantomime, it could also be viewed as a straightforward (if such a thing exists) comedy. It is fairly fast paced and has a running joke reflecting the times we live in.
To find out more and to book tickets, go to: http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Simon's Cat

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:53:00 +0000

No, not my cat but a very witty animation by another Simon.
I can't help feeling that my cat might get up to something like this at Xmas.
Anyway, enjoy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2h3_aH3vo&noredirect=1

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography site builds up its content

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:41:00 +0000

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography site builds up its content

Have fun going round in circles!

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 23:17:00 +0000

The Frog Prince written and directed by Simon Paul of the Southfields Theatre Group will be performed on 19th, 20th and 21st (including a matinee) January 2012 at St Michael's School, Southfields, SW London. Tickets are available through TicketSource.

This is a World Premier containing an array of weird and wonderful characters on their quest for the Well at the End of the World. The production will see a number of new members of the Group joining some of the regulars in an amusing and entertaining romp around the UK. Don't miss it - book now to avoid disappointment.

The Frog Prince

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:43:00 +0000

Coming soon...

January 2012 to be precise.

The Frog Prince

a new pantomime

written by

Simon Paul

directed by

Simon Paul

More information as and when available at:

http://www.southfieldstheatregroup.org.uk

Theatre, Poetry and Prose by Simon Paul: skazography

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:22:00 +0000

Theatre Photography

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:49:00 +0000

For theatre groups, Simon offers a reasonably priced attendance at rehearsals and performances. Getting some good pictures for publicity purposes is essential. You may also want stock pictures of your actors and back stage staff. You will be provided with a one-off disc or USB stick for you to choose to print whichever you please when you please. Special rates for amateur groups who can benefit from making money selling prints to cast, friends etc.
http://www.skazmanagement.co.uk/skazography
http://www.skazography.blogspot.com

skazography is a trading name of Simon Paul

Grid#Productions Up-date - Gothic Themes

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 11:08:00 +0000

Things are moving slowly with Grid#Productions but better to be cautious and come up with some real quality than to steer the whole thing on to the rocks.
The strategy will be to focus on productions based on Gothic and macabre tales inspired by the likes of Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and more. The origins of Gothic horror are said to be steeped in Horace Walpole's 'The Castle of Otranto' written in 1764. However, we can probably go back a lot further to unpublished tales, often handed down through the generations in poetic form. However, Walpole's tale was the first published story that spawned a new and exciting genre.
The focus on these tales is because they lend themselves so brilliantly to the dramatic form. With moments of drama, suspense, romance and sometimes eroticism, it is a genre that that has been explored many time, especially in film but perhaps less so in theatre. However, whilst not wanting to jump on the back of the recent production of Frankenstein, audiences are attracted to themes and plot lines that appear to dwell on legend, myth and unexplained circumstances.
Please go to the Grid#Productions site and follow it for up dates as and when they are available.

Pantomime season is looming...

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 10:07:00 +0000

With pantomime season looming, now's the time to start searching for a script.
The Production Scripts web site has a good choice of original scripts, including two of mine. The first is a simple version of Cinderella which was written for the Southfields Theatre Group when it first formed. The script was written on the basis that the group was new and that most of the founding members had never done any acting, at least since school. It is a very simple production but also very funny.
The second script I have written is Ali the Barber and the Forty Thieves. As yet unperformed, it again has been written with amateur groups in mind.
If you do not care for either of my scripts, you will find a good choice of others at Production Scripts. A good function of the site is that you can purchase reasonably priced read through copies of scripts before you go on to buy performance licences.

RolePlay by Alan Ayckbourn - Latest News

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Paul) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:26:00 +0000

The first night of Southfields Theatre Group's production of Sir Alan Ayckbourn's RolePlay was a rip-roaring success.
Audience comments included: 'brilliant', 'fabulous', 'the group's best production yet'.
Tickets are still available for tonight, Friday 15th July and tomorrow: http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/event/14633
Or you can call the box office hotline on 07535 117 169. Alternatively there should be a few tickets available on the door. Be a part of our latest success!