A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one. – Heraclitus

Article written by contributor Harriet Cabelly.

While we’re advancing in our technological abilities and skills, we are regressing in our real, authentic and meaningful connections with one another. We’ve gained in technology and lost in humanism.

Can we embrace both or must one be at the expense of the other?

The scale is tipping in favor of the technology weight, and it’s pulling us down. We must regain that balance and readjust ourselves to a middle ground of incorporating both.

Technology is only soaring further ahead; we’ve got to preserve ourselves and our relationships. It’s only when we become aware of this imbalance can we begin to readjust and make shifts. We’ve all been swept away by this technological tidal wave of the past decade.

I think it’s time to take stock of how we’re running our lives, or how we’ve allowed technology to run our lives. It’s taken on a life of its own.

Enslaved by our gadgets

Just the other day I was in the supermarket when my cell phone rang. I ignored it and the cashier said, “Your phone is ringing.”

I said, “I know but I’m talking to you now.”

Think about that – are we enslaved by our gadgets? Have we become involuntary responders?

On another occasion, I was in the car with my husband and he heard that infamous text signal go off on his phone. He immediately picked it up to start to read it. Maybe I shouldn’t say what I did, but I grabbed the phone away and said,” There is nothing of such urgency that can’t wait until you park.”

We must start to make conscious choices of how and when we engage with our gadgets. They’re there to serve us in the hope of bettering our lives. But right now we seem to be serving them.

Five ways to disconnect from your gadgets

1. Decide not to take your phone into the restaurant. That will bring you back to the good old days of talking face-to-face without distractions. And if you feel like you left a part of you back in the car, then talk about that loss. You will get over it the more you do it.

2. Decide to put your phone in the trunk of your car. That way you can’t reach it in case the temptation is too great, initially. It’s there for the roadside emergency but for nothing else.

3. Decide to unplug for a period of time each week. Maybe it’s during dinnertime or a Sunday afternoon outing. Since I’m a Sabbath observer, I unplug one whole day a week – Saturdays. From Friday at sundown until Saturday sundown, 25 hours later, I am disconnected from everything pluggable. That obviously entails a ton of things. It’s a ‘pure’ day of leisurely meals with family and friends, both Friday night dinner and Saturday lunch, prayers, walks, rest and relaxation minus the ‘stuff.” I guess when the Bible was written, He knew we’d need to decompress from the stresses and ‘hecticness’ of our outer world – A brilliant concept to create this day of rest.

4. Decide that when you are with someone you will not answer the phone – be it to talk or text. The person you’re with at the moment gets your full attention. Attend to your phone when alone. It’s not always doable but it can become a more frequent habit once we start getting ‘reused’ to not multi-connecting.

5. Decide to spend less time with screens and more time actively engaged in living. There was a time I was getting a lot of email links of beautiful photography. It took me a while to realize, ‘Hey, why not go outside and see the flowers, the ocean, the sunsets.’ I’ve always done that but when I realized how much ‘wasted’ time I was spending online; I became more aware of my quality time outside.

Moderation and awareness

It’s all about moderation and awareness of how we choose to spend our time. It’s about actively making decisions in how we want our technology to be a part of our life, not us being a part of this huge advancing technology avalanche.

We humans created this technology and continue to create more and more; let us also make sure we’re creating good, meaningful lives where people are still number one.

And that requires our distraction-free attention.

More from Harriet Cabelly

Harriet Cabelly is a social worker and life coach emphasizing living life to its fullest and creating a good life out of (or despite) adversity. She is passionate about helping people create meaning and joy in their lives, and making a difference. Read more about her at Rebuild Your Life Coach and read the latest from her blog.

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What would you do if you had the confidence to do it?

This is the question I’ve been asking myself lately. There is so much I want to do in my one wild and precious life. And with my 50th birthday just months away, I’m feeling the nudge to create my plan sooner, rather than later.

But where do we start; where do I start?

The answer may be to start from zero. With a blank sheet of paper in front of you, begin asking questions and then allow your heart to discover the answers.

Ask: What gives you energy? What are your passions? What are the special talents that have been entrusted to you? How do you want to spend your time? Where do you want to live? What types of people do you like working with? How will you make the world a better place? What type of environment inspires you? What is the greater purpose of your work?

Ask for what you want and then believe you are worthy to receive it.

Sometimes the simple path to creating our plan starts by acknowledging the life we are living is not enough; the plan begins by discovering what can happen next, and then finding the confidence to allow it to happen.

But where do we find this confidence; where do I find this confidence?

The answer may be as simple as faith; start with a leap of faith. Believe you were made for a reason and your life has a purpose greater than you can imagine.

The first step is to get that blank sheet and begin writing. Look at the words pouring out. Find one thing you can do right now and focus on that. Confidence is contagious. After completing one thing, you may find you have just a little more confidence to tackle the next part of your plan.

And for me?

When I face my last moments I don’t want to feel regret; I want to feel a satisfying contentment that I found the confidence to do exactly what I was made to do.

I started creating my plan today.

Will you join me in this one wild and precious life?

What is A Simple Path?

This post is in A Simple Path, a twice-weekly series of short pieces inspired by my own life experiences. Each post is a simple path to experiencing something wonderful: maybe seeing life from a different perspective, or celebrating its beauty. Click here to read all posts in the series.

Please Spread the Word
Does The BridgeMaker inspire you? Spread it around your social circle! You can retweet on Twitter or share on Facebook— and click here to join The BridgeMaker list and receive “How to Love Consciously” for free!

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It’s worth waiting for the thing that is worthy of us. – Suzanne Grenager

Article written by Susanne Grenager, author of Bare Naked at the Reality Dance

Editor’s note: Scroll down to learn how you can win a free copy of Susanne Grenager’s book Bare Naked at the Reality Dance. Reading by email? Click here to visit the site to participate.

Years ago I wrote and, with great trepidation, mailed a much-labored-over book proposal to a renowned New York book editor. I had met her quite unexpectedly over the coffee urn at a wedding brunch, where she’d expressed interest in my work. I was sure that what seemed like a wildly serendipitous cup of Joe moment spelled imminent publication of the book I’d long felt destined to write.

Getting a top editor’s attention without being over-the-top famous or, better yet, infamous, is a rare and beautiful thing. So I rejoiced when the prominent woman liked my words.

Her surprising offer to help me find the literary agent she insisted I bring to her table, assured me I was the blessed one. But after several months pursuing agents, I walked away. And boy I am I’m glad I did!

Why did I walk away? And why I am glad?

I walked away because I was letting the process of trying and failing to find an agent sicken and disempower me. As much as I thought I wanted a deal, I simply couldn’t stand the trepidation and rejection it was taking to get it.

Even then I knew it made zero sense—and was out of integrity—to kill myself with distress over a book I was calling Relax, Trust, Love. .

I am glad because that proposal, I learned only years later, was for a book far less significant and inspiring than the one I was really supposed to write.

We cannot give what we do not have.

A decade intervened between the proposal for Relax, Trust, Love (eerily akin to Eat Pray Love, which came later) and the writing for the very different book I just published—no agent or New York House involved. And in the interim, I got to do the deep personal work required to make me better able to relax, trust and love myself, in the face of the ups and downs of the author path.

Most critically, the inspired—and I trust, inspiring—words I began writing in 2004 would almost certainly not have come through the women I’d have been if I’d been out basking in the success (or home nursing the failure) of an earlier book.

To write the book I was meant to write, I had to strip down and step up to face my gods and demons, bravely and quietly, for as long as it took.

We cannot give what we do not have.

I want to inspire us all to relax, trust and love our dear selves—so we can make the singular difference we, and the world, are dying for us to make.

To do that for you, I first had to do that for me. If Bare Naked at the Reality Dance sells well, terrific. If it doesn’t, at least I’ll know I was willing to wait till I could do what I’m here to do, without selling myself or my wellbeing short.

The Giveaway

Share in Comments below what your heart is calling you to do. What is your plan to make a difference – write a book, make a movie, raise a family, etc.? You can also share a quote that speaks to the power you have to make a difference. Reading by email? Just click here to visit the site so you can leave a comment, too!

You can enter until midnight Central Standard Time on Sunday, February 5.

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to The BridgeMaker to receive twice-weekly emails to learn about future giveaways!
The winners:
- Angela
- Betsy

More from Suzanne Grenager

Suzanne Selby Grenager is the author of Bare Naked at the Reality Dance, a real-time look at the guts it takes to strip down, step up and make the difference we’re all born and dying to make. A former Philadelphia Inquirer columnist, published in Yoga Journal, Suzanne was an early Kripalu Yoga teacher and leader and is certified in the body-mind-spirit Rubenfeld Synergy Method. She hopes you’ll enjoy audio clips and PDF downloads of Bare Naked at www.suzannegrenager.com.

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The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. – Plutarch

The winter doldrums are here.

With more than two months of winter remaining, plus an extra day because of the leap year, spring seems so far away.

Cold weather, gray skies and navigating icy sidewalks can drain our energy. The “I-can’t-wait-for-winter-to-end” sentiment can lead to feeling sluggish and uninspired. Sometimes our moods are just like the weather outside, gloomy.

For some, the cold weather can trigger a more serious reaction to winter, a condition called seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Symptoms of SAD, which can include anxiety, oversleeping, social isolation and weight gain, can be the most severe during this time of the year.

But, there’s hope. We can find relief by opening our minds and hearts to breaking out of old routines and doing things differently. In honor of leap year (might as well embrace the extra winter day), here are 29 simple ways to energize yourself whether you suffer from milder symptoms of affective seasonal disorder or a passing case of the winter doldrums.

1. Plan to do more with your friends, not less. Social support can help fend off those winter blues.
2. Go outside, even if it’s cold, and take in some fresh air.
3. Turn around your negative mood by focusing on the things you are grateful for in life.
4. Connect your mind and body through exercise or yoga. This will reduce stress, and improve your energy and clarity.
5. Reconnect with your life’s passion. Don’t allow winter’s harshness to hold down your dreams.
6. Treat yourself and do something you enjoy – a weekend trip with your partner, a day at the spa or enjoying a concert.
7. Rather than feeling discouraged if you have fallen off your New Year resolutions, follow your intuition instead. Let your intuition guide you to where you need to go next, and to the newfound energy waiting there.
8. Allow the light to shine. Open the curtains and let the sun cover you with its energizing warmth.
9. Change your thoughts. Negative thinking, “Winter is never going to end,” can be replaced with a more positive outlook, “Spring will be here soon, and I can’t wait.”
10. Fill your home with fresh, bright flowers.
11. Reflect on the blessings in your life and remember to bless others, too.
12. Keep a watchful eye on your addictions and ask for help if they seem to be gaining strength during this time of year.
13. Daydream more.
14. Perform a good deed; an act of random kindness, and then take in the warmth that is made.
15. Stick to a healthy diet that is aligned with your budget and food preferences.
16. Seek good sleep. Find the balance between oversleeping and not getting enough rest. Listen to your body each morning, it will tell you what you need.
17. Wrap your hands, and spirit, around warm drinks: tea, coffee, lattes and hot chocolate.
18. Listen to motivational music.
19. Find contentment in the present moment, no matter how dreary it may feel.
20. Simply breathe. Shut down your computer, turn off the television and close your eyes for sixty seconds and then listen to the energy pulsing through your body.
21. Clear the clutter from your home, car and office to allow the positive energy to flow.
22. Learn something exciting by starting a new hobby.
23. Pick up a book and energize your imagination.
24. Start each day by reading an inspirational quote.
25. Spend less time focused on your children and more time on your spouse. Chances are good your children are getting what they need. Fall into the arms of your partner and stay connected with your love’s energy.
26. Stay clear of toxic, negative-thinking people.
27. Drink plenty of water. The heat source in your home can be as dehydrating as a 90-degree day. Water can provide an instant burst of energy.
28. Join a cause or volunteer to be a mentor.
29. Smile and enjoy the sound of your laughter.

Free checklist to energize your life

Do you want an amazing, fulfilled and high-quality life? Download this free checklist, 100 Element of a Bold and Happy Life, and begin improving, and energizing, your life today.

Share your energy

How do you energize yourself? Please share in Comments below how you beat the winter doldrums. Reading by email? Click here to visit the blog and share your energy!

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Eight people met for the first time this past Saturday night. A few minutes before 7 p.m. no one knew what to expect, but by the end of the evening eight people had made an unexpected connection.

It wasn’t fate that made this unexpected connection; it was the power of the human spirit.

Three years ago Mary Beth had brain surgery to repair a Chiari Malformation which is a rare defect that results in brain tissue extending into the spinal canal. Without surgery, my wife’s physical symptoms would have continued deteriorating. While life-threatening, the surgery gave Mary Beth her life back.

Since her surgery, my wife has found other Chiari survivors on Facebook. It encourages Mary Beth to connect with people, who understand the pain, and the fear, she once faced. The connection makes my wife feel like she’s not alone.

After sharing online, the group decided it was time to share in person. We volunteered our house and then waited to see what would happen next.

Like most people, our get- togethers are with folks we know. It was odd walking through the grocery store and not knowing what to buy. Mary Beth played it safe. She selected food that wasn’t too gourmet, or too dull. I also kept it safe by grabbing a 12-pack of Bud Light for the gentlemen. My wife settled on making a pitcher of sangria for the ladies. We bought soft drinks too, just in case.

When the doorbell rang at 7, we were ready to welcome our guests.

After introductions, the conversation shifted to questions like, “What were your first symptoms?” “Who was your doctor?” “How do you feel now?”

As each person shared their answers, it was clear the group was feeling at ease. There was no grandstanding, no judging and no bragging. I witnessed eight people being honest, genuine and vulnerable. And just as inspiring, I witnessed eight people creating a bond stronger than the enemy they have been fighting.

Sometimes the simple path to an unexpected connection is made when we find the courage to reveal our most painful struggles because we trust it’s safe to do so.

The evening ended with the group wanting to meet on a regular basis. Emails were exchanged and coffee meet-ups were arranged. I got the sense the momentum would continue.

Last Saturday night was a reminder that the human spirit is alive and well. The human spirit calls us to work together, to listen and to provide care. The human spirit gives us the confidence to keep moving forward, no matter how hard life pushes back. It allows eight strangers to come together and then be called friends a few moments later.

The human spirit provides unexpected connections that remind us we never have to face our enemies alone.

What is A Simple Path?

This post is in A Simple Path, a twice-weekly series of short pieces inspired by my own life experiences. Each post is a simple path to experiencing something wonderful: maybe seeing life from a different perspective, or celebrating its beauty. Click here to read all posts in the series.

Please Spread the Word
Does The BridgeMaker inspire you? Spread it around your social circle! You can retweet on Twitter or share on Facebook— and click here to join The BridgeMaker list and receive “How to Love Consciously” for free!

Enjoy The BridgeMaker? Please consider making a small donation to keep the site running and growing. Thank you!