Birthdays.

I baked this classic moist butter cake for a birthday recently. It’s truly a feather-soft crumb with a light vanilla flavour, which works well with most buttercream flavours and fillings. The classic buttercream is made from a sugar syrup, so it’s deliciously silky smooth and devoid of that awful tooth-aching sugar crunch you get with some frostings. For an ‘adult’ flavour, I whipped melted dark chocolate and espresso into the buttercream. And for extra naughtiness there’s an optional 25-35 ml of liqueur. Fan-freakin-fastic idea!

I know a few people who are loathe to celebrate their own birthdays. It’s like meeting someone who doesn’t like chocolate. Denying an opportunity for cake? WHAAA? I understand not wanting extra attention, and the sentiment that we should care for others all year round not just on one designated day. But birthdays, in a way, are for other people too. It’s an opportunity to express, “hey, I’m glad you’re here in the world, and glad you’re a part of my life”.

Birthdays are a celebration of being alive. An opportunity to reflect and think, what have I accomplished in another year on this earth? And that can be really awesome or a really crappy thought. Like if we had good intentions for change 12 months ago, and then nothing is different. Been there. Birthdays can trigger some deep introspection: why am I here another year? What’s my purpose?

Life without meaning is a rotten feeling, in my experience. I’ve been soul-searching, and realised that meaning is not static but dynamic, evolving as we evolve. One day we think we’ve got it sorted, then life changes and we realise the goalposts might have changed too. Worse is that there’s no rules, no guarantee that the pattern that works for someone else will also work for you.

I haven’t got it all figured out, but part of what gives my life meaning is Doing Good. I’m proud that The Cake Mistress also exists to raise funds for charities. And I’m totally proud of a cool Aussie lady, Cate Bolt, doing jaw-dropping things to change this world. The latest initiative, The Giving Bowl is about “giving without going without”, and is super-easy  to get involved in. Just round up your spare change each day and put it into a bowl. When it’s full, give the contents to a worthy cause. That’s it!  (The cute bowl below is from The Giving Bowl’s Etsy store, by the way)

Available from Etsy

Hands up who’s whinged that their wallet is too heavy from all the damn change in it. Yup, I have. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve deliberately spent loose change on, say, my fourth but-i’m-pinging-off-the-walls-already coffee of the day. Or the chocolate bars on sale – two for $3 man, I’m a sucker for a special. Someone else can benefit instead, while I save my blood pressure and thighs. Win-win guys!!

Seriously, it’s a great initiative. Check it out. xx

YELLOW BUTTER CAKE WITH CLASSIC BUTTERCREAM

Cake:
6 large eggs, separate the yolks and whites, room temperature
242 g Whole Milk, room temperature (just under 1 metric cup)
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
240 g Plain / All Purpose Flour
60 g Cornflour
300 g Caster Sugar
20 g Baking powder (1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon)
5 g Salt
170 g Unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

Classic Buttercream:

6 large Egg Yolks
200 g Caster Sugar
118 g Water
454 g Unsalted Butter, softened to room temperature

Optional: 25-35 ml of liqueur flavour of choice.
NB. Best to have an electric mixer to assist, and a kitchen/candy thermometer.

Buttercream Flavours
Chocolate: beat in 180 g melted dark chocolate to the finished buttercream
Mocha: beat in 180 g melted dark chocolate and 2 tablespoons dissolved instant espresso coffee

 DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 180c (160c fan-forced/ 350F). Grease and line two 20cm round cake tin with baking paper.

Weigh your egg yolks, and add as much egg whites to them to weigh a total of 112g. (I had around 75g of egg yolks with 6 eggs). Beat lightly together to combine, along with 1/4 cup of milk and the vanilla.

Sift the plain flour and cornflour together at least three times over (we’re making “cake flour” here) into a large bowl of an electric mixer. Add the caster sugar, baking powder and salt, blending on low speed until evenly mixed. Add 3/4 of the milk, and the softened butter, again blending on low until the dry ingredients are evenly coated. Crank up the speed to medium, and beat for 90 seconds.

Scrape the cake batter down the sides of the bowl. Pour in the egg mixture a third at a time, beating for 20 seconds each time. Scrape the sides again.

Pour half of the batter into each cake tin. Smooth the tops. Bake together for 25 – 35 minutes. If you have a small oven like mine and they’re squeezed onto one rack, you might need to rotate the cakes 3/4 of the way through so they both bake evenly.

The cake is done when the top springs back when lightly pressed at the centre, and a skewer comes out clean. The cake will start shrinking away from the sides of the tin, but this should happen after it’s removed from the oven. Leave them to cool in the pans for at least 10 minutes (it’s delicate when hot). Run a knife along the sides of the pan to loosen any stuck cake from the sides, then remove from the pan to cool on a wire rack, right side up.

While the cakes are cooling, prepare the buttercream. Beat the egg yolks with an electric mixer until thickened and pale. In a small saucepan, add the sugar and water. On medium/high heat, gently stir the mixture constantly until it comes to a boil, then STOP STIRRING. Leave it to continue boiling until it reaches just under 115c/238F. Get the beater going on medium speed, pour the sugar syrup slowly down the side of the mixer bowl, avoiding the beater blades (or you’ll get spun sugar and gritty crystals!). Beat on high speed until incorporated and the side of the mixer bowl is cool (we don’t want to melt the butter when we add it). When room temperature cool, gradually beat in the butter on medium speed, and beat in any flavourings.

You’ll end up with more buttercream than necessary to frost this cake, but that’s alright. Lay down one cooled cake layer onto your serving plate. Slather a thick even layer of buttercream with a spatula. Place the other cake layer on top. Add more buttercream on the top and down the sides of the cake. Slap on messily with a spatula for a cool effect, or smooth it down.

NOTES:

The unfrosted cake can be wrapped and kept 2 days in an airtight container, 5 days refrigerated, or 2 months frozen. But best eaten the day it’s baked.

Adapted from The Cake Bible, by Rose Levy Beranbaum. Available from The Book Depository.

Classic Vanilla Butter Cake with Classic Buttercream is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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Saved By Cake: over 80 Ways to Bake Yourself Happy is the intriguing name of the cookbook, penned by bestselling fiction writer Marian Keyes, which inspired this recipe. Now, normally 99.9% of PR emails get filed ever-so-carefully in the Do Not Want bin; however, the motivation behind her baking caught my attention and resonated with me. Being avid bakers, maybe some of you will relate as well.

Marian Keyes opens with a very frank, honest account of her daily fight with depression. Trying to get through each day she eventually found that baking augmented therapy, with the right balance of distraction, relaxation and delicious reward of course. The book is a collection of fairly straight-forward recipes she used to “bake herself happy”, with chapters on the classics, cupcakes, cheesecakes, biscuits & cookies and pastry.

Keyes has a wicked, tongue-in-cheek sense of humour and writes like a cheeky Nigella, if Nigella stopped trying so hard and dropped the overwrought affectations. Recipe directions are not barked at you. Instead, you are gently and humourously walked through the steps as if she is in the kitchen with you sharing the experience, warts and all. Case in note:

“However! Yes, I’m afraid there is a however – for every credit there is a debit – and the downside of using glasses is that the mousse spills down the sides of the glasses, both inside and outside, and the mess has to be cleared up. Amigos, I spent hours, and the best part of an entire roll of kitchen paper, carefully wiping the glasses so that they would be fit to present to my expected guests. (Actually, I had no expected guests. I live in an imaginary world and I planned to eat all four mousses myself.)”

Even if you don’t bake a thing from the book (Gold Medal in Discipline for you, given all the glossy make-you-salivate photos included) just reading the recipes is a worthwhile exercise in hilarity.

If you’re a pedant the small section referring to Macaroons instead of Macarons might make your eye-twitch. And if you’re a purist the sight of the “bockety funny-shaped” shells, might make your head explode. I would look to other cookbooks such as Zumbo if you’re keen on getting into the world of Macaron making.

All the fabulous writing and sexy photos in the world are worth nothing if the recipes do not deliver. So I chose the Blondie Cupcakes, which are white chocolate and macadamia flavoured on page 59 to road-test, on the promise of “serve and watch the initially unimpressed faces of your guests transform into expressions of admiration and respect”.

The verdict on the White Chocolate and Macadamia Cupcakes is success! I would possibly categorise these as muffins over cupcakes, as the quantity of melted white chocolate makes the crumb quite dense and heavy rather than a fluffy sponge. The batter is a gorgeous caramel colour, and smells so heavenly when baking. Rather than use more cooking chocolate, I swapped 100g of white cooking chocolate for those ‘bits’ that do not melt, which meant lovely little pockets of white chocolate throughout the cupcakes.

My taste-tester was initially wary of their weight when she picked-up one to try, however, she was won over with the flavour so I guess Marian was right! Best eaten the same day, or within a day or two at most.

The link to the cookbook is below. If you’re not aware, I have a charity programme where 100% of all sales commission is donated. In honour of the cookbook’s origins, this round of donations will be going to Beyond Blue, Australia’s Depression and Anxiety organisation. I’ll also be adding the value of Saved By Cake as a personal donation in lieu of receiving a free copy. If you’d like to support, please follow the links, or check-out the other books i’ve hand chosen on the Bookshelf.

Happy Baking!

 Saved By Cake: $21.18 AUD, free shipping, from The Book Depository UK

WHITE CHOCOLATE & MACADAMIA CUPCAKE RECIPE

Makes 12 – 16 cupcakes

You Will Need:

100g Unsalted Butter, roughly diced
180g White Chocolate, roughly chopped (cooking chocolate is fine)
100g White Chocolate Bits, the non-melting ones
100g Unsalted Macadamia Nuts, roughly chopped
3 Large Eggs
100g Brown Sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
180g Plain Flour
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
1 pinch of Salt

Directions (Video Tutorial at the bottom):

Preheat oven to 170 degrees Celsius (150 fan-forced; 325F). Line a 12-hole cupcake tray with patty cases.

In a medium saucepan slowly melt the butter and chopped white chocolate on LOW heat. Stir constantly and keep an eye on it so the chocolate doesn’t burn. Allow to cool.

Meanwhile, beat together the eggs and brown sugar until thick, pale and fluffy. You can use a hand whisk or stand-mixer, depending on your muscles. When thickened, add the vanilla extract and the combined melted butter-chocolate mixture.

Sift the flour, baking powder and salt into the batter, folding it through gently with a spatula until almost mixed together. Pour in the chopped macadamia nuts and white chocolate bits, mixing them through gently until evenly distributed through the batter.

Dollop a generously heaped tablespoon of batter into each patty case, maybe more depending on desired size. They don’t rise too much in the oven so you could almost fill the cases to the top without too much drama. Bake on the middle rack for 15-20 minutes. They are done when the domes go golden brown in colour and the tops spring back when gently pressed. Let them cool briefly in the tray, then transfer onto a wire rack to cool completely.

And the Video Tutorial!

White Chocolate and Macadamia Cupcakes is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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Sometimes you want something quick, sweet and easy without firing up the oven. Especially here at the moment, where the temperature is hitting 40 degrees Celsius. Eww. I know Australians are supposed to be excited by that and go frolicking on the beach, but I hate the heat outdoors. The fair-skinned European in me just wants to hibernate in front of the air-con, spraying mists of water, sucking ice-cubes and thinking cool thoughts.

Speaking of cool, this was one of my favourite recipes to make as a kid. I’m sure it’s the immense joy in bashing a packet of biscuits to crumb-y smithereens with a rolling pin. And even more joy in stirring lots of butter and sticky condensed milk through it all. Super-naughty. If you want an easy introduction to baking for kids (or adults), this is it. The only close supervision part would be melting butter. Otherwise, it’s very foolproof!

When done you get a cool refrigerated cookie-slice, with a zingy lemon icing. Now, I’m clearing out a backlog of recipes before starting on new ones, so these last few don’t have video instructions or weights with the ingredients unfortunately. The cup measurements are 1 cup = 250 ml, and the original recipe is Australian, so if you’re in the US, there are extra conversions to apply.

Happy baking!

LEMON COCONUT SLICE RECIPE

Makes 20-24 squares

1/2 cup Sweetened condensed milk
125 g Unsalted Butter
250 g Packet Milk Arrowroot biscuits, finely crushed
1 teaspoon Grated Lemon Rind
1 cup Dessicated Coconut

Icing:
1 3/4 cups Icing Sugar Mixture (or more, depending on desired thickness)
3 tablespoons Fresh Lemon Juice
15 g Unsalted Butter
2 tablespoons Dessicated Coconut

DIRECTIONS:

Place condensed milk and butter in a small saucepan, stirring over low heat until butter has melted and mixture is combined. (optional: lick the condensed milk container, yum!)

Break the packet of biscuits down into fine crumbs. You can do this in batches in a food processor, OR go low-tech and place a handful of biscuits in a zip-lock bag, then whack them hard with a rolling pin. Repeat. Enjoy.

In a large bowl, mix the crushed biscuits, lemon rind and coconut. Pour in the melted butter and condensed milk mixture. Mix together well until the biscuit crumbs are evenly coated. Don’t worry if the mixture looks dry, it will come together.

With clean hands firmly press the mixture into a 28cm x 18cm baking tin lined with baking paper. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Prepare the lemon icing by adding the icing sugar, lemon juice and softened butter into a medium bowl. Mix well to form a smooth icing. When the slice is cool, pour icing over the top and sprinkle with coconut. Once icing has set, cut the slice into squares.

Keep slice in the fridge.

Recipe is adapted from The Big Book of Beautiful Biscuits (published by Australian Women’s Weekly)

No-bake Lemon Coconut Slice is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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February 14: Single people, time to Rage Against The (Lean) Cuisine. Put down our Soup-For-One, let Mr Fluffy fend for himself for the day and whatever we do, let’s not slump on the couch in our sweatpants weeping into our Kleenex while mumbling the lyrics to All by Myself through a mouth crammed full of chocolate.

I know some people feel like total rubbish on that day: self-esteem plummets, confidence drops, you start to wonder what’s wrong with you. Next thing you know, you’re picturing your future self on a Today Tonight feature on crazy cat ladies.

But it shouldn’t be that way. Not just on V-Day, but in general, we should stop focusing on what we perceive we don’t have, and enjoy what we do have. Life can be pretty awesomesauce if you work at it, regardless of relationship status. We’re not incomplete beings living a sad, meaningless existence.

So single me would like to give a one-finger salute to the tragic spinster stereotype perpetuated by whoever keeps wanting to hammer us down. Life is pretty darn great as it is, thank ye kindly. If someone wants to come along for the ride, then that’s just fine and dandy. And if they don’t, well the wheels on the Awesome Express aren’t going to fall off either.

What’s this got to do with Chocolate Caramel Slice? Well, what doesn’t it have to do with Chocolate Caramel Slice, I ask you. Such wisdom, such a powerful metaphor**  That crumbly biscuit base, holding a sweet gooey caramel, encased in a layer of rich dark chocolate …

Let there be no feeling sorry for oneself today. Take a moment to think about all the good stuff and how you’re totally amazing as you are, ok?

** Recipe may contain no traces of wisdom. Definitely has traces of chocolate though. Maybe I just like chocolate.

CHOCOLATE CARAMEL SLICE

Makes 12-16 pieces approximately.

You Will Need:

Biscuit Base:
150g Self Raising Flour
160g Brown sugar
85g Dessicated Coconut
125 g Unsalted Butter

Caramel Filling:
440 g Condensed Milk
2 tablespoons Golden Syrup
30 g Unsalted Butter

Chocolate Topping:
125 g 70% Dark Chocolate, chopped
30 g Unsalted Butter

Optional: quality salt flakes, like Maldon, for sprinkling on the top

Directions:

In a medium bowl add the flour, brown sugar and coconut, stirring well until mixed. Add melted butter and stir well until the crumbs are coated. Don’t worry if the mixture looks dry at first, it will come together fine. Press into a 28x18cm lamington tin with the base and sides lined with baking paper. Bake at 180 degrees Celsius for 10 minutes.

Prepare the caramel. Place condensed milk, golden syrup and butter into a small saucepan. Stir continuously over low heat until the caramel thickens. Continue stirring as it comes to the boil, then remove from heat. For a gooey caramel let it thicken slightly, or for a chewier result let the caramel thicken more. Pour the caramel over the warm biscuit base and return to the oven for a further 10 minutes.

Allow to cool. Make the chocolate topping by heating the chocolate and butter slowly over low heat until melted and glossy. Spread over the biscuit and caramel base. Sprinkle with sea salt flakes if you prefer. It helps cut through the cloying sweetness of the caramel.

Store at room temperature.

Recipe adapted from Australian Women’s Weekly Best Ever Cakes and Slices.

Chocolate Caramel Slice is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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Lumberjack Cake: sounds like some tough macho recipe for mustachioed axe-wielding men wearing flannel. I’m sure they’d appreciate the cake regardless, but it’s actually an old-fashioned squidgy apple and date cake with a caramelised coconut topping.

When done the cake part is a sodden sticky marriage of Granny Smith apple pieces and dates. It’s almost like a pudding, so don’t be expecting your typical fluffy cake crumb here. The word ‘moist’ comes to mind, although I wish it didn’t because not only is it an overused adjective, it just a wrong-sounding word. Who’s with me? In rebellion, I declare this cake to be amazingly irriguous (hat tip to my friend, Thesaurus).

The original recipe direct from Old Fashioned Favourites says to include the water that the apple and date has been soaking in. If you prefer a more cake-like result, don’t add it.

My favourite part is the caramelised topping of brown sugar, butter and coconut. When baked it turns into a sweet chewy layer of awesome, helping to break up the squishy texture of the cake part. It’s a pretty sweet cake, so have a cup of tea on stand-by.

And, super excitement, I’m starting to roll out VIDEO tutorials for the recipes on this site. The first one up is the Red Velvet Cupcake recipe, which has been added to the original post.

And below is the tutorial for the Lumberjack Cake. Hope these turn out to be more helpful. It can be hard to communicate a specific method with words alone. If you have any suggestions on making them better let me know.

LUMBERJACK CAKE RECIPE

You Will Need:

2 Green Apples, peeled, finely chopped (400g)
200 g Dates, chopped
1 teaspoon Bicarb Soda, (6g)
1 cup Boiling Water, 250g/250ml
125 g Unsalted Butter, Softened to room temp
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 cup Caster Sugar, 210g
1 Large Egg
1 1/2 cups Plain Flour, 180g

Topping:

60 g Butter
1/2 cup Milk, 105g
1/2 cup Brown Sugar, firmly packed, 110g
2/3 cup Shredded Coconut, 60g

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 180 Celsius (160 fan-forced, 375F). Grease and line a 23cm springform cake tin.

Mix the chopped apples and dates, bicarb soda and boiling water in a bowl. Stir to coat them, cover with clingfilm, and leave to stand until just warm.

In a large bowl beat the softened butter, vanilla and sugar until thick and creamy, scraping down the sides of the bowl occasionally. Beat in the egg until combined.

Gently stir in the flour and apple mixture including the water. Pour into cake tin, smooth the top and bake for 45-50 minutes.

While the cake is cooking, prepare the topping. Combine the butter, milk, brown sugar and shredded coconut in a small saucepan. Stir over low heat until the butter has completely melted and the sugar has dissolved.

When the cake comes out of the oven after 40-50 minutes, pour this topping evenly over the cake, then continue baking for another 30 minutes. Cake is done when a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. Allow the cake to cool upright in the tin.

Store in an airtight container at room temperature, for two days.

Recipe from Australian Women’s Weekly: Old Fashioned Favourites

Lumberjack Cake is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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Oh my gosh you guys, Bananas are so cheap now!!! I’ve been counting the days until I didn’t need a personal loan to afford a bunch of these golden beauties. My morning porridge has been looking forlorn without its tropical friend added to the breakfast party mix. And banana lollies just don’t cut it these days.

On a serious note, I’m glad that our northern friends in Queensland are getting back to some semblance of normal after the terrible flooding of 2011 wiped out much of their banana crops (tropical Queensland being the banana-crop heaven of Australia).

I might be addicted to banana bread simply because I’ve gone without bananas for so long. But also, it’s pretty darn good. This is another recipe I’ve borrowed from my Mum’s archives. When she found a completely awesome recipe, she jotted it down in her gold-covered notebook, and if it was extra-special it got a sparkly sticker of a star next to it. This recipe is blue-star worthy, people! And yes, Mum is a teacher, how did you guess?

The secret to incredibly flavoursome and fragrant banana bread is to first let the bananas ripen to a blackened state over several days, then freeze them overnight. When you’re ready to bake, let them come to room temperature on their own. Add the extremely mushy banana innards to the ingredients, plus wring-out the banana juice hiding in the soggy skins as well. That part is extra-fun.

Bonus, this recipe is another one-bowl wonder. Less dishes, yay!

Lordy, when I baked this banana bread the scent wafted all over our apartment complex. Seriously, when I came back from shopping I could smell warm banana 5 metres away from the front door. So, you might want a second loaf on the go incase neighbours happen to “randomly” drop by…

BANANA BREAD RECIPE

2 Bananas, mashed
120 g Unsalted Butter
2 tablespoons Milk
1 teaspoon Bicarb Soda
1 cup Caster Sugar
2 Large Eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups Self Raising Flour

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Grease a medium loaf tin with non-stick spray.

Place butter and mashed bananas into a saucepan and melt on low heat. Stir in the caster sugar, bicarb soda and milk until the sugar appears to have dissolved. Let the mixture cool to room temperature before stirring in the beaten eggs and flour.

Pour mixture into loaf tin and bake for 40-45 minutes. Cake is done when a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean. Allow to cool on a wire rack.

Serve warm or cool with butter.

Banana cake slices can be frozen and defrosted

Banana Bread is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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This week marks two years of The Cake Mistress. Thanks for reading, sharing your comments and emails, and just being generally awesome. Since switching to a charity aim mid last year, where 100% of this site’s income goes to a food-related charity, over $500 has been donated. So thank you also for helping reach that mark!

To celebrate I was going to bake the mother-of-all cakes with crazy layers and such, then I thought going back to my cake-y origins instead would be more fun. Having just flown back from spending time with my family over Christmas, I wanted a nostalgic taste from the past. So I baked the cake Mum used to make for us kids all the time. It was a brilliant after-school treat, even providing much bargaining power at recess.

Best of all, I realised this is the EASIEST cake to literally throw together. Everything goes in one bowl, then you walk away and make a cup of tea while the electric beaters whip the magic in to the cake for you. Finish with a simple chocolate icing and some sprinkles to make it fancy. Sidebar: a dropped pack of sprinkles travels a looooooong way. *cry*

Being at home made me think of all the growing-up and changes with time, so I made a list of the moments I’ve thought “oh hell, I’m getting old”. If you are a fellow 80s/90s lady, you might notice some of these happening too:

Signs You’re an 80s Baby Growing Up (aka Getting Old).

• You hear a “new” song on the radio and you’re outraged at how they’ve poorly sampled, and thus ruined, your favourite song as a teen. Kids, the Black Eyed Peas did NOT write Time of Your Life.

• That moment when YOU realise songs you loved were not originals either: Eminem’s Sing For The Moment? Aerosmith’s Dream On. Ice Ice Baby? David Bowie’s Under Pressure. Mind. Blown.

• You support Leggings Are Not Pants.

• You’ve said “the music was better in my day” at least once. It was better too, alright? The Macarena was just an aberration.

• You’ve also said “the cartoons were better in my day”. She-Ra would open a can of whoop-ass on Dora.

Princess Power!

• Actually, you’re saying “back in my day” with increasing regularity, and you’re not even being ironic or mocking the “olds”. Guess what, you are the “old”.

“Back in my day we didn’t have torrents: we had to pirate our music by waiting next to the radio with a blank cassette for our favourite songs, then press record and get really annoyed when the host would talk over the end of the song. “

• The tween working in retail addresses the customer behind you as Ma’am, then you realise there’s no one behind you. You’re the Ma’am. Aww, seriously?

• Twitter? Pfft. Back in my day, we had mIRC. And ICQ. On dial-up. And we’d mimic the sounds of the modem back at it while connecting to pass the time. We didn’t have Google –  we’d ask a butler called Jeeves, or use Alta Vista. And we made nice sites in GeoCities, like this one.  - (caution: may incite eye-gouging). You could never have too many GIFs.

• You’ve lived long enough to see trends you thought were cool making a resurgence. And you now recognise their uncoolness. Hello double denim! Some mistakes shouldn’t be made twice.

Die ... of embarrassment maybe ....

EASY CHOCOLATE CAKE

1 cup Caster Sugar
1/2 cup (85g) Unsalted Butter, softened
3/4 cup Milk
1 teaspoon Instant Coffee
2 Large Eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/4 cups Self Raising Flour, sifted
1 1/2 tablespoons Cocoa Powder, sifted
1/4 teaspoon Bicarb Soda
1 teaspoon Vanilla
Basic Chocolate Icing
Icing sugar mixture
1 teaspoon Cocoa Powder
2 teaspoons Margarine
Water
100s & 1000s to decorate

Directions:

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Grease and line a 20cm round cake tin with baking paper.

Add caster sugar, coffee, flour, cocoa powder and bicarb soda into the bowl of an electric mixer. Add the softened butter, milk, eggs and vanilla, and beat together in electric mixer for three minutes, scraping down the sides of the bowl.

Pour batter in greased cake tin and bake for 45-60 minutes. Cake is done when a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean, and the dome springs back when lightly pressed.

Allow to cool in tin for 10 minutes, then invert onto a wire rack to cool completely.

When cool frost with chocolate icing sugar and 100s & 1000s. To make the icing I just pour around 1 cup  or so of icing sugar into a bowl with the cocoa powder and butter, then trickle in enough water to form a spreadable consistency.

Mum’s Easy Chocolate Cake is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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So it’s getting to the business end of the Festive Season, and you’ve been to so many Christmas parties already. The food, so much food! Although Christmas Cake is a splendid thing indeed, fatigue can set in. Well, we’ve stumbled across a recipe for darling little Christmas Cake bites. In one mouthful you get all the festive flavours, without OD-ing on cake yet again.

This recipe for mini Christmas cake bites is kid-friendly in that there’s no alcohol added. So if you need a quick dish to whip up for the Playgroup Christmas Party, this has your bases covered. For the booze-loving adults amongst us however, this can be easily remedied by substituting the apple juice for the liqueur of your choice.

MINI CHRISTMAS CAKE BITES

You Will Need:

1/3 cup Apple Juice
375 g Mixed Fruit
1/4 cup Dried Apricots, diced
100 g Unsalted Butter, softened
1/3 cup Brown Sugar, firmly packed
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 Large Egg
100 g Slivered Almonds, chopped
1/2 cup Self Raising Flour
1/2 teaspoon Mixed/All Spice
1/4 cup White Chocolate Bits
150 g White Chocolate Melts
100g Red Glace Cherries
Red and Green mini patty pans
12-hole Mini muffin tin

Directions:

Heat apple juice in microwave for 1 minute. Pour hot juice over the mixed fruit and apricots and let them absorb it for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally. Strain the juice out of the fruit mixture when ready.

Preheat the oven to 160 degrees Celsius. Line a 12-hole muffin tray with patty pans. Beat the butter, brown sugar and vanilla extract until creamy (the volume might be too small for your electric mixer). Beat in the egg until well combined. Stir in the fruit mixture, chopped almonds, flour, spice and white chocolate bits until evenly distributed. Drop teaspoons of the batter into mini muffin pans until filled to the top, pack the batter firmly in to each one. (These don’t rise, so don’t worry about overflow). Bake for 25 -30 minutes, until golden brown and the top is firm to touch.

Allow cakes to cool slightly in the pan, then remove onto a wire rack. Melt the white chocolate melts in the microwave. Drizzle the tops of the cakes with melted chocolate. Place half of a glace cherry on the top.

Makes 24-36, depending on volume of mini muffin tray.

Mini Christmas Cake Bites is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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Heard of the Magic Pudding? His name is Albert and he’s a bottomless pit of pudding, constantly replenishing himself as people have a taste. He’s so delicious he’s got three friends keeping him safe from Pudding Thieves: a koala, a sailor and a penguin. I loved reading the 1918 story and flicking through the illustrations of The Magic Pudding by Australian Norman Lindsay as a kid. Who wouldn’t want a never -ending pudding all for themselves? Although this one was a little cranky – I suppose I would be too if people only wanted me for my delicious insides:

"Albert, the Magic Pudding" 1959. Norman Lindsay, Watercolour.

Pudding traditions, like hiding trinkets in the pudding, seem to have faded away. And good riddance I say, because frankly, the thought of my mouthful of pudding being spoiled by biting into a thimble – signifying another year of “spinsterhood” – depressing. I’m just here to get my sugar-on, pudding mystics, let me be.

This boiled Christmas Pudding recipe is the one my Mum makes. It’s adapted from the Best Ever Recipes collection published by the Australian Women’s Weekly. Do you know how some things just taste of Christmas? This is a festive party in your mouth. Loads of mixed fruits, spices and that Christmas lubricant, alcohol. Best served with a topping of cool brandy custard or vanilla bean ice-cream.

serves 8 – 12

Mum’s Christmas Pudding

You Will Need:

1 kg Mixed Fruit
250 g Dates
250 g Raisins
2 cups Water
1 cup Brown Sugar
1 teaspoon Salt
250 g Unsalted Butter
2 teaspoons Bicarb Soda
3 large Eggs
1 cup Plain Flour
1 cup Self Raising Flour
2 teaspoons Mixed Spice
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
1/4 cup Scotch Whiskey
1 cup FRESH breadcrumbs

Directions:

Place all fruit, water, sugar, salt and butter in a saucepan. Stir on low heat until the butter melts. Simmer for around 8 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and stir in the bicarb soda. Stand until cold. When cold, stir in the eggs and whisky. Add the breadcrumbs, then the flour and spices. Fill into a well-greased 4L pudding tin. Boil for 6 hours. Refresh water every 20 minutes. Once cool, wrap in clingfilm and foil. Store in the fridge until ready to serve. On day of serving, reboil for another 2 hours.

Mum’s Christmas Pudding is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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One day you’re innocently going about your business – next thing you know, you’re standing in a supermarket subconsciously humming The Little Drummer Boy in November, wondering how it came to this. Christmas creeps up slowly at first, with a few benign bits of green and red dotting the aisles. Then, seemingly overnight, they undergo some kind of festive mitoses, invading every physical space and corner of your mind. Where did these festive customs come from? Here’s some research: I read it on the internet, so it must be true…

FUN CHRISTMAS FACTS ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET

FACT 1: The first Christmas Cards were printed in 1843, as a “time-saving device”…

… then Facebook came to save us all. Back In My Day, people used to save last year’s Christmas Cards and their envelopes, make a list of recipients, handwrite all the greetings and addresses, lick hundreds of disgusting flavoured envelope sealers, line up for stamps for eternity, post the batch, then try to string all the received cards up around the living room. There were even special mini-pegs manufactured for this purpose. Yes, this was a thing. And just when you thought you were done, there was a fresh wave of Christmas Cards in the letterbox that need reciprocating. Now thanks to Facebook and the Send All function, it’s so easy to send festive platitudes to people you never see with the effort of a mouse click. Booyah.

As an aside, when writing cards as a kid did anyone else sort them from prettiest to ugliest? So the awesome ones went to your besties and the crap one to that mean girl who put glue and glitter on the seat of your chair so you had glitter-butt?

Sweet Dreams, MacKenzie

FACT 2: The Cracker or Bonbon was invented in the 1840s by a pastry chef…

…then the humble Bonbon got tricked-out with novelty toys, bad jokes and silver fulminate, because nothing says Christmas like explosives. The largest functioning Christmas Cracker was a whopping 45.72 metres long, and made right here in Australia. Imagine how many terrible puns were contained inside? What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. *groan*. Here are some highly sought-after prizes from our Christmas Crackers in 2006:

Fact 3: There are at least 36 different Christmas Trees listed on Wikipedia

But my $15 Kmart plastic tree isn’t there. Nor is the origami-inspired tree folded from a magazine that we made as Girl Guides. Or gingerbread trees. If I had the choice between a delicious edible tree or one that I was constantly sweeping up pine needles, I know what I’d choose.

This earns the 'You Have Way Too Much Spare Time' badge at Girl Guides.

If you’re into giving gifts a bit fancier than cellophane fish, handmade gifts are a nice touch. Bonus points if you can eat them. Last year I packaged my homemade Fruit Mince Pies, which were well-received among co-workers. Completely delicious, they were however quite fiddly to assemble, and not kid-friendly. These Gingerbread Christmas Trees on the other hand hold much promise in the fun-department: rolling, cutting shapes, dunking in icing, sprinkling silver balls everywhere. Lots of opportunities for little fingers to get messy.

This gingerbread recipe is different from the one I used to construct a Gingerbread House, in that it’s softer and more flavoursome. Adapted from the wizards of the Bourke Street Bakery cookbook, Perfect for cutting different shapes, including Ninjabread Men, for a totally kickass Christmas.

GINGERBREAD CHRISTMAS TREES

Makes 24 Gingerbread People or Trees

You Will Need:

615g Plain Flour
Pinch Salt
1/2 teaspoon Bicarb Soda
7.5g Ground Ginger
5g Ground Cinnamon
5g Ground Nutmeg
200g Unsalted Butter, room temperature
200g Brown Sugar
160g Honey or Golden Syrup (microwave slightly to soften honey)
1/2 Egg
2 Egg Yolks
Royal Icing
315g Icing Sugar
2 Egg Whites

Green liquid food colouring
Decorations: multicoloured cachous

 Directions:

Beat softened butter, sugar and honey/golden syrup in a large bowl until thick, pale and creamy. Mix the eggs together in a small bowl, then slowly beat them into to mixture until all combined. Add in the salt, bicarb, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir in the flour in three batches until evenly mixed through the dough. Be careful not to overwork the dough. Shape the dough into two flat discs, wrap in clingfilm and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes (can keep in the fridge for up to 3 days).

Preheat the oven to 170C. Line a large baking tray with baking paper. Remove dough from fridge. Knead to soften slightly if still firm. Roll lumps of dough between two sheets of baking paper to about 3mm thick. Cut out the shapes using a cookie cutter and space 1cm apart on the baking tray. Reroll the leftover dough.

Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden in colour. It might be tricky to tell, given the colour of the dough. Check underneath the cookie for a rich golden brown colour. Leave to cool on the tray.

To make the royal icing, mix the icing sugar and egg whites together until smooth. Add food colouring to get the desired green colour. Pour into a shallow bowl. To decorate the cookies, dip them into the surface of the icing sugar, wiggle the cookie, lift up and shake off the excess. Use a spatula to smooth off any excess. While still wet, sprinkle cachous on the top. The icing will harden as it dries.

Can be store in an airtight container for 2 weeks.

Bourke Street Bakery Cookbook available from the Book Depository, or Bourke Street Bakery at Fishpond AU. 100% of sales commission donated to food-related Charity.

Gingerbread Christmas Trees is a post from: The Cake Mistress

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