I often wonder where all the people that blogged around the same time I started have disappeared to. If you look through the early days of this blog, you’ll notice quite a few links to sites that no longer exist or occupied only by tumbleweeds. Many dropped off after a life changing event such as Stephen Fung, who hasn’t written a post in almost a year after his daughter was born. Others moved on to different blogs. Still others simply felt burned out and left their sites to rust. In fact, the only person from my early days of blogging almost six years ago that still does so with clockwork regularity is Michael Kwan, but that’s just Kwan being Kwan.

I used to think that the burn out was silly, especially when some were quitting around year three when I was just hitting my stride but it happens to everyone. I took a few breaks and stopped blogging daily after ‘08 and then moved to a weekly/monthly schedule. While daily is probably too much, I couldn’t stick to a monthly since it was just too easy to forget about it altogether.

But it seems that this break has been long enough. I haven’t posted much since early November, which is probably a result of having to focus some of my energy elsewhere lately but still, I’ve been gone long enough. I’ll be blogging regularly again at all my various blogs, probably keeping a flexible schedule of a few times a week. I’m hoping to write about 5 posts total for my personal blog, my food blog and Canucks Hockey Blog per week, which seems like a reasonable pace.

But more importantly, I want to get back to when blogging was just a lot of fun and doing it with a lot of great people back in the day made it even better. We’ve all moved on. I mean, I was 23 when I started this and now I’m approaching 30 so we’re all different as people but I wouldn’t mind catching up with old friends, maybe getting a few back into this wacky thing we do.

If only you could change the world by sitting around wearing a funny hat…

I’ve resisted writing anything in particular about #OccupyVancouver for a long time but since the city keeps delaying when it will evict the squatters from the Vancouver Art Gallery, I thought I should say my part. I mean, according to some polls, 75% of Vancouver agrees with me, I don’t know what the city council is waiting for. I probably should’ve written several posts over the course of the weeks rather than one enormous essay…but here we go anyways.

I went to Occupy Vancouver on that first day and listened for a good few hours. While I was in disagreement with some of the #OccupyWallStreet, I could see why this sort of thing made sense in America. People were losing their homes due to banks giving people mortgages they couldn’t afford, the economy was low and unemployment was high. People couldn’t afford the health care they needed while they were sick for jobs where they couldn’t afford to miss days being sick. It made sense. While their strategies to solve these problems were a little too extreme left for me, I recognize that these problems exist and that the America that prospered pre-2008 was in a world of hurt financially. To make things worse, the working class are the ones who are suffering while many of the rich get wealthy.

So let me tell you where you lost me and why Occupy Vancouver is massive waste of money, resources and time.

For the most part, none of those things happened in Canada or Vancouver. Canadian banks avoided the sub-prime lending that broke America. You can’t really get a so-called NINJA mortgage here in Canada, as we have strict lending criteria rather than just handing mortgages out like free samples at Costco. Our banks were affected because the American economy takes up a good chunk of the global pie. In Canada, for the most part, the economy has remained rather steady. Few people are losing their homes due to bad mortgages and while the housing market here in Vancouver is expensive, we are one of the most livable cities in the world and demand simply dictates higher prices one way or another.

Still, I thought if someone was really convincing at Occupy Vancouver, I might see the point. I may have arrived a few minutes late that first day but I don’t think I missed much. It took literally hours for the assembly to figure out how to speak to crowd and in the end, the only conclusion was that using a microphone was better than repeated yelling. In their zeal to include everyone in the discussion, more time was spent finding translators for every single language on the planet. While I have no doubt that the multicultural crowd spoke many languages, I have a hard time believing there were many that spoke some of the more obscure ones and not a word of English, evidenced by the lack of people that spoke up for several of those jobs. I saw a man with an enormous beard and wondered if he was clean shaven when Occupy Vancouver started.

Occupy Vancouver tried so hard to be heard that they forgot to actually say something. That about sums up not only for those first few hours but pretty much all of Occupy Vancouver.

The real issues were quickly pushed aside as the sheer lunacy shouted over them. There were all flavors of crazy up there that day including people that didn’t believe in money, 9/11 and Zeitgeist theorists, animal rights activists, and a guy that played the saxophone that was running for mayor (more on him in a second). Look, there are some parts of Occupy Vancouver that are within reason but it is by far drowned out by the Baskin-Robbins of crazy. Free heroin? A “maximum” wage?! An investigation into the events behind 9/11?! C’mon…if you want the city to listen to real issues then you have to filter some of the wackier ones.

I mean, what’s with that saxophone guy that calls himself the “Saxmaniac” (can’t make this stuff up…) running for mayor? I made zero sense of his speech up there that first day and it seemed like much of the crowd had the same reaction as he was booed off stage for taking too much time rambling on about his crazy. If that wasn’t enough, he wandered onstage at the mayoral debate shouting at the other candidates while holding a stuffed red lobster (seriously, can’t make this stuff up). But what really got me was that at the Remembrance Day parade at Victory Square last Saturday, he BOOED. No, really…this man booed someone onstage at an event that honors men and women that served our country. When he wasn’t heckling the speakers, he was talking loudly while people were speaking, asking “Is this over yet?” and other sarcastic comments. If it wasn’t already rather obvious that he won’t be our next mayor, I don’t think I could say enough in hopes of discouraging you from voting for him this Saturday.

It didn’t help that the majority of the Occupy crowd was carrying smartphones. I saw one Occupy supporter with a Marc Jacobs bag and a good number of the crowd volunteered their mobile devices for tethering when a speaker asked if anyone could lend the local media their Wi-Fi. How much does the system really need to change when 50% of the people that claim they’re being oppressed by the upper class can afford a $30 a month option on their smartphone plan? The whole thing smelled of entitlement and arts students looking for any cause at all to protest. I would know as I was an arts student myself and every single year, there are those that came to our classes to rally us for causes that most of us couldn’t be bothered with.

It also didn’t help that a lot of the people at the protests had no idea what they were protesting. More than just a few times, I overheard whispers of “So what the heck is all this about?” and such. I even saw a sign that said something like “I don’t know what this is for but I’m protesting!”. You have to admit that the whole “We are the 99%” is a brilliant stroke of advertising, giving the #Occupy movement a catchphrase that so many can relate to but the thing is, it sucked it a lot of people that are just there because it’s the protest du jour and hipsters that think they’ve found the new edgy thing to do ironically.

And it REALLY didn’t help that there is just so much hypocrisy surrounding the whole Occupy Vancouver movement. I’m not just talking about those decked in Abercrombie talking on their iPhones while chugging a frappuccino. I’m talking about those who say they’re standing up for free speech while rudely interrupting others while they’re speaking. Or maybe since the movement criticizes the media for misrepresenting facts, misleading the public or just plain lying when they themselves do the same thing. A speaker last Saturday was telling a small gathering of occupiers that the police were afraid of them so they brought in the police chiefs and fire chiefs from other nearby municipalities (“big wigs” he said) to put out the “sacred fire”. The Occupy Vancouver people have blown things out of proportion themselves in order to make themselves seem more significant and controversial to get more attention. “Look at me! I’m so badass the police are after us!” like a 17-year old trying to impress a girl.

I mean, I can’t think of any other reason why anyone would claim that two occupiers were kidnapped by a black, unmarked van with no evidence other than “trusted sources” and tell me that I can’t prove her wrong because I have no evidence that says two people WEREN’T kidnapped. This is the kind of logic that seems to flow around Occupy Vancouver that just boggles my mind. For a movement that criticizes mainstream media so much, some sure seem to model themselves after another publications that cites “trusted sources”, The National Enquirer.

And then there’s the drugs. I’m not going to argue with you about marijuana as it is so accepted in Vancouver that I sort of expect it everywhere and Occupy Vancouver isn’t an exception. However, when people start overdosing and dying, then we have a problem. Occupier like to say that this happens in the DTES often and that John and Jane Does found dead on those blocks of Vancouver don’t make the news every day. True but we aren’t looking to the DTES for leadership either. I’m not asking people with needles in their arms how they think Canada should be run because all they’ll end up with on their demands list is “Free heroin.”…oh wait…

My point is…I don’t know how you expect us to take you seriously with all this going on. As far as I and many others are concerned, Occupy Vancouver is a failure. You can say it started conversation and awareness all you want but the fact of the matter is over half a million dollars of taxpayer money went into this along with what must be hundreds of hours of city workers cleaning up and police keeping the peace at all hours. For what? What’s been done since a month ago? We don’t even see a list of demands. The movement has no focus. How can you expect change in society when you don’t really know what you want? With no leadership, the city has no idea who to negotiate with or how they could even get started on getting anything going. They don’t have to look at any of the issues you raised since you didn’t raise any in particular so they have all the time in the world to think up how to get you out of there. Evidence? How much of the political debate these days involves whether or not to evict Occupy Vancouver and how much is dedicated to the issues OV raised such as what REALLY happened on 9/11?

Occupy Vancouver has wasted our time and money. Some businesses in the surrounding area (such as the Re-Up BBQ food cart) have either seen a decrease in traffic and sales while others simply don’t want to deal with their unruly neighbors any more. I was sitting in the A&W getting a root beer on Saturday when an Occupier strolled in holding a large Tupperware container of food and demanding that the service staff let her use the washroom, shouting it while walking in. When they said there was already someone in there and that she would have to wait until that person got out, the woman stormed out, shouting “#*%& YOU!” at the surprised people behind the counter.

That sort of sums up Occupy Vancouver and protesters in general…the sense of entitlement they have that other people need to give them something they somehow deserve. A&W was in no way obligated to allow that woman to use their washroom when she hadn’t purchased anything and even then…they weren’t denying her the washroom, just that she had to wait, but still, that simply wasn’t good enough for the Occupier. I’m not part of this ultra-rich 1% but at the same time, I’m not mad at their success and I don’t feel like the rich owe me anything. I don’t want them to pay my way through school or contribute toward my debt. I try to figure out how I can get to that 1% rather than crying about how unfair it is. I don’t think most rich people are rich by accident. They’ve made decisions, gotten necessary training and are good at what they do. Yes, there’s injustice in how the cast of Jersey Shore is rich since I’m almost sure at least half of them would be dead by now if they weren’t on TV…but I’m not going to hate on the success of the Jobs, Gates, and Buffetts of the world who have earned their place in the world. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has done more for the developing world than all the weekend hippies in Vancouver combined. The real 99% are those who worry about having food and clean water every day…not those who complain they can’t afford an Xbox because they have to pay off student loans.

Alright, so maybe not everyone there is like that but the entitlement comment stands. Protesting in itself is just that to me, especially something like Occupy Vancouver. It says to me “I don’t want to do anything but sit in this tent all day until YOU change something that I want changed.” That’s all a protest is…it’s a temper tantrum until they get what they want. If Occupy Vancouver really wanted to make a difference, they would put together some leadership and form a political party…preferably without people like the Saxmaniac at the helm. Think about what sitting around at the art gallery does…do you really expect anyone to say “Maybe we should listen to the guys sitting in those tents all day.”?

It seems in recent days that someone at Occupy Vancouver has woken up and attempted to filter out the nutjobs, denounce drug use and try to put something that resembles a list of demands together. I think it’s great that they’ve taken advice and sorted their stuff out but it just might be too late. I thought it was silly and doomed from that first day that took four hours before anyone brought up something that wasn’t translators or human microphones. You’ve had your fun, Occupy Vancouver…it’s about time we got all this silliness packed up before Vancouver has another embarrassment on it’s hands.

I know this isn’t a movie or a restaurant or something else you might expect me to write about on my personal blog and while I might not be a professional (or even amateur) athlete by any stretch of the imagination, I’m probably just as qualified as anyone to give you a real world, actual person review of a shirt like this.

Why? Well, first of all, I’m a born and raised Canadian kid and therefore, I’m built for the cold. I can go outside in the show with a t-shirt and a windbreaker and I’ll be fine but put me anywhere upward of 25 degrees Celsius and you can cue the complaints about the heat within the first ten minutes. I don’t wear anything but these sorts of shirts that are designed to keep you cool at the gym and I’ll seldom wear anything else when I’m traveling. During my Japan trip three years ago, despite being in one of the fashion capitals of the world, I couldn’t wear any of the great clothes I bought since it was damn near 40 degrees out so I needed to wear something appropriate to keep myself from melting in the heat of that rising sun, usually moving quickly on foot carrying 25 pounds of camera equipment on my back. Sure, maybe this particular shirt was designed with someone like Ryan Kesler in mind and while I don’t think I do anything as strenuous as playing 20 minutes in an NHL game, activities like climbing a mountain in Kamakura to see a giant Buddha statue or navigating the streets of Vancouver in the midst of rioters, tear gas, fire and chaos is tough work too.

I’m not exactly sure if they’ve hit the American market yet but Firstar is gaining some ground here in Canada. I can see the appeal…they’re a thoroughly Canadian company and the marketing features the likes of Kesler and James Reimer, who undoubtedly appeal to the target audience of Canadian, hockey-crazed masses. I pass by the Firstar office in Richmond almost every day and hear the commercials on our local radio station often but if I’m honest, I’ve relied on a couple of the other brands for so long that I like to stick to what I know. That being said, I was excited to take their new shirt for a spin when they asked. I buy plenty of similar shirts already. All the better if I know I’m buying from a company that’s located just down the street from my house. They mailed me one of their latest Triple Threat shirts about 6 weeks ago. What do I think of it?

The Triple Threat is made of 92% polyester and 8% spandex, available in a number of different colors. Mine is black with red accents on the sides of the torso. Since it’s probably going to be worn underneath a hockey jersey or something else most of the time, I personally don’t think the styling is all that important but it does look good and functional without getting silly like some others have with weird camouflage and the like. So when you do wear it to work out at the gym, you’ll look like a person rather than a peacock.

This particular shirt is a tighter, compression fit. Even though it’s a large, if this wasn’t made of stretchy synthetic fabric, it would be more of a small and I’d need a shoehorn to get in it. For example, pre-stretch, the shirt is about 2/3s as wide at my shoulders. However, it does fit quite nicely. It’s snug without feeling tight. I’m guessing this is what Firstar calls T3 Technology, which “reduces the muscle fatigue caused by clothing’s restrictions of the body’s movement.” Even though the shirt is snug, I didn’t feel like it was preventing me from a full range of motion.

The fabric is very thin and breathable. As stupid sexy Ned Flanders would say, it feels like you’re wearing nothing at all…nothing at all…nothing at all! While some other athletic shirts have vented sections with tiny holes for extra breath-ability, the Triple Threat is the same throughout but still feels very cool. My only real complaint about the feel of the shirt is that the stitched seams on the inside are quite pronounced and stick out while other sportswear companies have made it a point to keep the seams as minimal as possible to keep in the side of the shirt smooth.

I know this sounds like a nit-pick but these shirts are designed for movement and having those threads rub against your torso repeatedly can get irritating with all the friction. Just ask marathon runners what they have to do to their nipples before a race.

Firstar shirts use something called MST Microfibre Technology, which is their moisture wicking solution. I don’t know if I’m the person to explain the science behind it so if you want to know, click here.

Wearing regular cotton shirts and playing sports means you’ll have a heavy, sweaty shirt afterwards. Wearing something like the Triple Threat basically helps that sweat evaporate more quickly, keeping you drier and cooler, since body heat is lost in the process of boiling your sweat away. So it stands to reason that the quicker this happens, the better you feel during whatever it is you’re doing.

This is quite an arbitrary thing to test but the Triple Threat did a good job at the gym. After a 30 minute run, I still felt relatively cool and dry. After my bike ride and weights, I was getting sweaty but still felt relatively cool and as comfortable as I was going to get after a long workout. That’s not an easy thing to do, really…especially if you’re as sensitive to heat as I am. I’ve had shirts that were nothing more than fancy technology names on plain polyester shirts that do nothing. You know when you’re wearing something designed for activity and the Triple Threat does a good job.

The Triple Threat also features something called BACT-OUT, which apparently kills 99.9% of fungi and bacteria in the fabric.

When you sweat, your body is releasing water, sodium chloride, potassium, fatty acids with the chemical odorants 2-methylphenol (o-cresol) and 4-methylphenol (p-cresol). When these micro particles interact with your body’s outer bacterial skin layer, a strong odour can often be detected. As the particles are solid and are not removed as the water evaporates, Lycra (rubber), used in most performance materials, absorbs and embeds these particles at the microscopic level and, as rubber repels water when washed, a portion of the smell can never be removed. Over time this smell builds up until the garment must be discarded. BACT-OUT ensures your garments maintain their fresh smell longer.

Eeewwww. I’m not a chemistry major anymore so I can’t (and don’t want to…) put this to the test so I’ll just have to take your word for it, Firstar. I try not to smell my gym clothes afterwards but it’s nice to know this is something built into the clothing.

The short sleeve version of the Triple Threat is $49.99 while the long sleeve will set you back another $5 (prices in Canadian Dollars), which is on par with other similar products depending on where you’re buying them and what brand. I’m not a professional athlete so perhaps I won’t notice the finer details but the Triple Threat performs as well as my favorite polyester, moisture wicking shirts. I will say that I do really enjoy the fit as it’s not quite as tight as a compression fit but isn’t a loose fitting shirt either. Like the third bowl of porridge, it’s just right in allowing you to breathe and move but keeping the shirt in contact with as much of your body as possible to get sweat evaporate quickly.

The Triple Threat is a good shirt if you’re looking for a bottom layer under your equipment and jersey or if you’re looking for something to work out in. How comfortable it is for you will probably be unique to you but the fit is great for me. I might try to grab a long sleeve one for a base layer for snowboarding season.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might know that I’m traveling for the next two weeks in the Caribbean. I’m currently in San Juan, Puerto Rico…swimming in the warm, blue Atlantic waters and sitting on the beach with drinks that have miniature umbrellas.

I thought about renting a car but after going by taxi for a couple days, I’ve realized how bad of an idea that is. I’m not a scared driver on the road by any means. I believe the only way to drive is fast and slow is for the weak but here…well, there’s no discernible traffic laws as far as I can tell. There’s very few ways to tell if the street you’re on is one way other than if there are a lot of angry motorists coming the other way. I don’t know how the right of way works here because I’ve seen several people merge into the tiniest of gaps in traffic and I am almost sure that turn signals are for decoration only. In Vancouver, you could get arrested for talking on the phone while driving but here, every bus driving I see has his cell at his ear and ironically, there’s a sign saying you should never speak to the bus driver while he’s driving…I’m sure that’s just because it would be rude to interrupt his phone conversation.

Things move slowly here and no one seems to mind. I thought I was rather laid back already but apparently waiting 45 minutes for food isn’t uncommon. Gordon Ramsay would explode if he ran one of these kitchens. That and the bus I mentioned before just gets there when they feel like it. I don’t see any sort of bus schedule and even if there was one, they’re guaranteed to be late so your choices for transportation are either incredibly slow and unreliable or what can only be described as certain death. Jaywalkers just walk out into the streets and hold out their hands to tell cars to stop. That would never fly in Vancouver, where pedestrians are only a small step above cyclists when it comes to people we give a crap about when we’re behind the wheel.

That being said, this place is gorgeous. Despite the heat and humidity, it isn’t seriously uncomfortable and there’s cheap beers, sorbet and other things to cool you down for a buck or two everywhere. There’s good reason this place is one of the most traveled places in the Caribbean.

Spend any amount of time around me and you’ll quickly find that in terms of humor, I’m not very easily offended. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m of the belief that taking offense from jokes just means you take things too seriously. I’m more offended by jokes that simply aren’t funny. If you can find humor in uncomfortable subject matter, then I just can’t see that as wrong. Laughter is a good thing. It’s one part of human life that sets us apart from our animal counterparts. Maybe except the aardvark. Nothing can be named aardvark without being hilarious. That and dogs that look like Chewbacca.

Louis C.K. is one of those comics that really straddles the edge of funny and just plain wrong. I think I first saw Louis C.K.’s standup some time last year after a friend sent me a couple of YouTube clips of his routine. I had heard of him before but never really bothered to look him up. If you’re familiar with his work, then you’ll undoubtedly know what I’m on about but if you aren’t, do a search on YouTube. Maybe not if you’re the sort of person that writes in to complain when someone inadvertently drops an F-bomb or when Janet Jackson can’t keep control over her nipples…as I’m almost sure bits like “The N-Word” will make you throw up in your mouth.

His TV show, Louie, is somewhat of an anomaly as Louis C.K. has almost complete creative control over the show. According to Wikipedia, the show is shot on a RED camera setup and is edited on C.K.’s Macbook Pro. That’s amazing considering how other TV shows employ armies just to make sure the credits scroll properly. It’s a different sort of comedy show with no real structure and the only cast member that shows up in every episode is Louie himself. It seems like the sort of show that C.K. wanted to make and would not be able to if he was controlled by network executives trying to squeeze that extra bit out of the ratings.

It’s a weird show and a lot of it is unexpected. There’s segments of Louis C.K.’s standup at a comedy club weaved in between scenes that reflect his life as a comic and as a recently divorced single father of two girls trying to get back into the world. That’s the quiet portion of the show, which actually happens more often than not. Despite the sort of things Louie says about how much being a parent sucks, it is immediately evident how much he loves his children and how hard he’s trying to be a good father. The things the show says are actually quite profound statements about life, love, and happiness but then it reminds us what kind of show this is with fart, penis and butt jokes just when you’re appreciating the warm fuzzies.

The show just feels very authentic and genuine, like you’re observing an actual moment rather than seeing a show on TV. It’s all actually very well done and brings a sort of strange, artsy feel to some of the dirtiest jokes you’ve ever heard. It might make you see some situations (like with mobile phones, for example) in a different light. I know I find myself agreeing with him a lot on a lot of subjects like censorship, violence and human rights. That’s why this is a great show…there’s still tons of laughs but it’s about more than just the comedy.

I’m still not quite sure what the benefits of having a personal landing page are but after seeing a few familiar faces using free services from some specialized personal landing page sites, I decided to make one of my own. If nothing else, it will give me a URL I can put on business cards that I probably won’t need to change and shows my entire presence on the internet. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve handed out cards but had to add “Oh, but my food blog is here.” at foodie events or “But I also write for Canucks Hockey Blog.” at tweetups. Instead, I can just hand them a card that directs to a site where all my online stuff is.

That and I have to admit, I thought up a somewhat clever domain name (edlauis.me) and registered it on a whim. I don’t like using free services since I think that’s like using Blogspot or Blogger or even Wordpress to host my blog rather than having my own URL. I also thought it would be fun to learn how to write a website from scratch using lines of HTML and CSS code rather than having it all done for me with Wordpress.

What do you think? O

I wanted to write my review of this summer’s Michael Bay blockbuster and the last (I think) of the Michael Bay/Shia The Beef incarnation of the Transformers franchise later…after I had seen it again…as a half-way decent, not-that-shaky camera rip I found on the internet. Let me explain why.

Transformers has a special place in my heart. I loved the toys, I enjoyed the TV shows and generally, I associate it with pleasant parts of my childhood. However, I’ve never really gotten on board with the movies. The first one I sort of enjoyed because it was a Transformers movie but I couldn’t stand the cheesy dialogue. I’ve always thought Michael Bay just states the obvious…and the movie really does with lines like “One must stand and one must fall.” sort of garbage. That’s probably why I hated the second movie so much. While the first movie had cool set pieces, fun action sequences, a little good humor and shots of Megan Fox bending over a Camero, the second was full of stupid one-liners, blatant racism and all the fights were jumbles of scrap metal tumbling too fast for anyone to see.

I had no reason to think Dark of the Moon was any different and it really isn’t but I have to say, I spent the entire movie with my eyes wide open behind two pairs of glasses (the 3D ones, which were Scotch-taped to my own. No, really.) yelling “WOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” as one of the movie’s thousands of explosions. Honestly, I can’t remember a more spectacular looking movie since I saw Avatar. It was like staring directly into Michael Bay’s head, where I’m sure all of his thought processes have explosions and low sweeping camera angles. This is the sort of movie that Michael Bay makes when he isn’t hindered by silly things like gravity, reality or history books.

But like Avatar, without the visual flash, the movie isn’t a particularly good one. I mean, I haven’t bothered to watch Avatar since the time I saw it in IMAX 3D. There’s really no point since the movie isn’t very good without the effects. It’s like a peacock without the plumage…just not very interesting.

The script is convoluted, confusing, poorly written and the entire first half of the movie is irrelevant by the time the second hour rolls along. Watching it again without the big screen just emphasizes the movie’s flaws. Inevitably, you will come across that moment where you think to yourself “Wait…why didn’t they just ?” or “Oh come on…no one would EVER do !” because there’s no way a logical human being would stand around with her hair blowing in the wind as things blow up around her.

Speaking of which, Rosie Huntington-Whitely replaces Megan Fox in this third film for reasons that I could care less about because it isn’t like Megan Fox brings anything but hotness to the table. It’s hard to complain when the movie begins with what is basically a five minute sequence of Bay’s Victoria’s Secret footage that never made it to the commercials but it’s hard to think of her as anything but eye candy in this film since all of her scenes feel like they should be accompanied with Bay standing over your shoulder, pointing at the screen and yelling “She’s HOT! Look at how HOT she is!” in your ear. No, really…that’s her entire role in Dark of the Moon but that really could be said of all the humans in Transformers who are all rather replaceable, interchangeable and forgettable.

Actually, now that I think about it, most of the robots are insignificant as well. Other than the main players like Optimus, Megatron, Bumblebee, and a few others, most of the rest look the same and unless you’re a huge Transformers nerd fan, you aren’t even going to know their names. Most of the time, I had to lean over and ask my buddy who many of the indistinguishable piles of metal were. “Oh, so that’s Shockwave? Wait…which one is Soundwave, then!?” The original cartoon versions were always very easy to tell who’s who but in this movie and the previous one…why do all the Decepticons look the same?

The real star of the show is Michael Bay, who has someone managed to make a movie I absolutely hate but love at the same time. Seeing this film in the theater was just amazing. The visual effects are incredible and the CG is actually quite seamless when you consider how much of the movie takes place on a motherboard somewhere. However, even the best Michael Bay movie is still a Michael Bay movie. Also, I’m not sure if this was the case in the first two movies but I thought this was a much more violent movie than before. People actually die and the robots fight in a really brutal way, tearing each other’s parts off and spraying blood or motor oil or whatever everywhere. If the Transformers were made of flesh and blood, this would be more like Saw than Transformers.

None of the dialogue makes sense. None of the scenes seem to play out in a logical order. None of the characters are close to believable. You walk out of the theater thinking “THAT LOOKED AWESOME!” but also “…wait, what just happened for damned near 3 hours!?”. Bay’s storytelling is not as much storytelling as it is taking a story and using it as an excuse to make things blow up. Who needs narrative when we have guns, robots and pretty girls, right? Oh, and the ending is one of the worst I’ve seen in movies. I know that sounds harsh but it’s made worse by how abruptly the movie ends. Right then, it will hit you how awful the whole thing really was. Pretty, but awful.

Dark of the Moon is pointless…about as pointless as movies get…but it’s fun. I tried to write this review without saying “…for some reason” but that’s what you’re going to find yourself saying a lot of the time to explain the plot. I actually recommend you watch it but do so in a theater in 3D (the 3D is actually not terrible this time) or on a 60+ inch TV. I can live with it if it’s on a big screen but otherwise, it’s about as pleasant as eating your own hair.

Verdict: 6.5 out of 10

I’m not a huge Harry Potter fan. I’ve never read the books and have only seen each movie a single time a piece. I mean, I enjoyed four of them, I think while three others were rather forgettable. I can see the appeal of the books but they’re just not my cup of tea. However, since I got to see this movie a day early, I thought I had to write something for it.

It’s funny to see the huge transition between this film and the first where the heroes were half their current size. Overall, I think the Harry Potter series is a real achievement in film…a true eight-part series where the movies can stand alone but aren’t really complete unless they’re all watched together. I don’t think any other series has ever gone this long with true sequels. I mean, James Bond has gone on for over 20 movies but only the hero’s name has remained the same throughout. You can easily watch one and not the others but with Harry Potter, that would be just confusing. Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is unrelenting in the fact that it’s a second part to a larger film. If you haven’t seen Deathly Hallows, Part 1, then there’s very little in ways of recaps and too bad if you don’t get it.

The 8th movie finds the Harry Potter universe divided with Harry, Hermione and Ron hunting down various trinkets called horcruxes and the forces of evil led by Voldemort hunting them down and doing the usual world domination plan. Unlike the first movies that had a more cheerful and whimsical tone, Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is very dark and morose with lots of death and violence. Previous movies had some very moody moments and big battles as well but they were slotted in with scenes of the kids learning magic in classrooms or playing quidditch. I know this is the end of the books and it’s supposed to be the most “mature” of the series but it’s a bit of a bummer to see everyone wear frowns the whole time.

But I get it. We had our fun with previous movies and there has to be resolution somewhere. This had been a bit of a coming of age series but by the 8th movie, the kids had grown up and have to deal with…well, what they call real life. Unfortunately, I think that’s why this movie doesn’t work for me as a movie and why I’m sure I would absolutely hate this book if I actually read it.

While I could deal with the deux ex machina resolutions in previous movies where everyone is saved by things that happen with little or no reasonable explanation, things have built up so much by the time this last film rolled around that it deserved better. I mean, the owner of the Deathly Hallows was supposed to be the Master of Death and that really doesn’t come to fruition. J.K Rowlings built up the inevitable and only way Harry could defeat Voldemort and I thought that a little silly as well. Basically, it’s a whole lot of “oh, this happened because it did.”, hiding behind the fact that so little of the magic is explained that they can just make it up on the fly…and at times, I thought they had.

Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is well made, well shot and has very good performances by an all-star cast. I mean, behind Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint there are greats like Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman to name just a few. Ralph Fiennes, I thought, dominates the movie as a frightening Voldemort. Everyone else only shows up from time to time or in certain cases, for little more than extended cameos but Voldemort’s presence is felt even when he isn’t on screen. Helena Bonham Carter gives hilarious crazy eyes every time she’s on screen.

Some of the set pieces are very entertaining and the battles are very well done, with a great sense of scale and grandeur. I always thought that the fighting in the whole Harry Potter series is rather boring. They say it’s magic but really, they’re just fighting with guns shaped like sticks. Think about it…they’re just zapping each other with lasers most of the time. I would really prefer some actual magic…and you get hints of that here and there in the films but 90% of the time, they’re flinging glowing balls of light poop at each other.

I will say this though…the movie is very good at pulling your heartstrings. Even for someone with very little invested in these characters, I could feel their pain. I could see the heroism that boils inside some of them and I understood why they are willing to do what they do. The emotional part of the movie keeps it simple and unlike the plot or the magic or the lore, everyone can understand fighting to defend their loved ones. Everyone can appreciate sacrifice and honor.

Maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan and haven’t spent hours reading wikis, learning about the Harry Potter world but I’ve always felt like not enough is explained. Even when things are, it’s usually after something important happens and nothing more about why it happened is said other than that’s just the way it is. I get why people go crazy for this sort of thing and I really enjoyed some of the Harry Potter movies but this last act isn’t one of them. As a movie, it is spectacular…worthy of the summer blockbuster label but as a story or rather the end of a very, very long story, it just falls short for me.

Verdict: 7.0 out of 10

I was only able to make it to a few of the CCFCC 2011 events because I had a load of scheduling conflicts (the President’s Ball was at the same time as Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals…) but I’m glad I managed to get to the ones I did. I didn’t get downtown to ride the Canada Line with everyone else but since lunch at The Rain Flower Restaurant was located in Richmond, I made it in time for the Dragon Feast of the Century. No, we didn’t eat any dragons. Yes, I was a bit disappointed at that too.

Usually at these events, I’m seated with other members of the local media, most of whom I’m pretty familiar with by now but this time, I found myself at a table full of young chefs from Vancouver Community College. It was an interesting time. We shared some laughs and talked food. However, I was surprised at how much each of them refused to eat. I thought that chef’s would at least have a taste of everything to give it a shot. Weirds me out a little that people working in the food industry would not eat fish or crab…but I digress.

I’m not really familiar with the “15 Dragon Chefs” but according to the CCFCC, they are:

Chef Chi Ling Tam –Executive Chef of Golden Swan Seafood Restaurant
Chef Wing Kuen Wu – Executive Chef of Rain Flower Seafood Restaurant
Chef Tony Luk – Executive Chef of Jade Seafood Restaurant
Chef Sam Leung – Executive Chef at Dynasty Seafood Restaurant
Chef Mike Kin On Li –Executive Chef at Imperial Seafood Restaurant
Chef Kent Wong –Head Chef of Imperial Seafood Restaurant
Chef Henry Yu—Executive chef at Dragon View Seafood Restaurant
Chef Ho Lim Cho – Executive of Floata Seafood Restaurant
Chef Garley Leung – Master Dim Sum Chef Dynasty Seafood Restaurant
Chef Jian Ming Lai –Dim Sum Head Chef, Rain Flower Seafood Restaurant
Chef Peter Chen –Dim Sum Head Chef, Golden Swan Seafood Restaurant
Chef Siu Kuen Wong –Chef, Shiang Garden Restaurant
Chef Chun Ming Huang –Executive Sous Chef, Shiang Garden Seafood Restaurant
Chef Patrick Mo –Executive Chef, Black Sheep Pub & Restaurant

Our first course for lunch was an appetizer plate with a duo of drunken squab breast and Nanjing style arctic char. The white balls with black dots are dragon fruit…very sweet and delicate tasting. The arctic char is left pink, almost raw in the center and served cold. Almost everyone at the table agreed it was delicious along with the drunken squab breast, which had quite an intense amount of alcohol in it and also served cold.

Crab and lobster for lunch?! Sign me up! The next course was a dungeness crab and lobster in jade purse. A jade purse is a vegetable leaf holding the lobster and crab meat together, letting all those juices intermingle and soak in. It’s hard to not make crab or lobster taste good but this was another exceptional dish with loads of flavor in there. My only complaint was that the temperature was a bit tepid but since they were serving 30-40 tables at the same time, I can understand.

Temperature was much more of a problem with the next dish, a braised Fraser Valley duck breast, empress style. The duck is served on beds of tofu with a mix of mushrooms. Unfortunately, the duck breast was cold and dry along with the tofu and mushrooms so it wasn’t particularly pleasant. The duck tasted alright and the mushrooms were earthy and crunchy but all together, it didn’t work.

This is called a tenderloin teaser in filigree cup. It’s chunks of beef served with asparagus, peppers and pineapple…classic flavor combos, lightening up the richness and peppery beef with fruity sweetness and crunch.

The next dish was this yin yang steamed eggplant, which did not win over many people at our table even though many of us said we love eggplant. Ours was a bit overdone and mushy, the outer skin was quite tough and overall, everything was a little too salty. Like a couple previous dishes, it might’ve been better if there was a bit more heat.

Our last course was a seafood siu bang, which literally translates as seafood roasted biscuit. The pastry was light and crispy, filled with a creamy, mayo-like sauce and chunks of seafood. I didn’t get much seafood in mine but it was warm, toasty and actually quite good.

Dessert was a longevity date cake, a sort of jello-like dish with a light, fruity flavor with a hint of tea. We all enjoyed it but thought it could’ve been better. Personally, I would love to see someone do a modern take on this stuff…maybe serving it warm with a cookie and some vanilla ice cream like a sort of Asian apple pie.

It was a good lunch at The Rain Flower but I was a little put off by how much they were charging people for drinks, even $3-4 for generic bottled water or regular Chinese tea. I know we’re eating courtesy of the conference but I don’t ever remember paying $5 for a pot of tea.

Looking forward to next year. I’ll mark the days off my calendar when I find out when CCFCC 2012 is.

I was lucky enough to receive an invitation to the Canadian Culinary Federation conference this year, a week long event full of seminars with esteemed chefs as speakers and receptions featuring some great food. Unfortunately, there were a couple of scheduling conflicts with the Vancouver Canucks playoff run so I couldn’t go to everything but I did get the chance to taste some amazing dishes and meet some interesting people in the industry.

The first thing you see when you get in the door is a massive ice sculpture. There were actually several large ice sculpture but only this one dispensed X-four vodka. No seriously…it was a giant block of ice with a tap in it. Now that’s a pretty extravagant way to keep your drinks frosty.

I started with some of the lighter offerings around the room. Can’t go wrong with freshly shucked raw oysters!

There were two different tables with assortments of cheese.

I only tried the plate from the Youth Team Canada, which is a Qualicum goat’s cheese, braised organic cippolini onions, mulled tomato and micro-greens with a salt and vinegar cracker and emulsified chimichurri. Everything on the plate works well together with sweet, sour, creamy, crunchy, mild, sharp and all kinds of textures…plus it’s a good looking plate as well. It’s paired with a Fraser Valley apple cider Tom Collins, which I thought had a strange gingery taste to it.

From Ontario, this is a pan-fried potato and goat cheese perogy with sauteed shiitake mushrooms, candied double smoked bacon and scallion cream. While I enjoyed the mushrooms, I found the perogy very bland and under seasoned. Unfortunate since I absolutely love cheese and potato perogies.

Another cool idea that fell a little short was this…pulled pork muffin. No, seriously…Alberta’s entry was pulled pork in a pinto cornmeal muffin topped with a maple butter cream frosting and smoked chipotle crackle. Now, I’ve had bacon cheesecake so I’m no stranger to mixing sweet with savory but I was just not impressed here. I didn’t really get the pulled pork part of it (there’s a tiny little chunk in the center) so it was just like a sweet, cornmeal muffin to me. I just didn’t understand what the intention of this dish was, I guess.

I did enjoy the Alberta Amber’s Brewing Company Sap Vampire Maple Lagera Simple, though. I don’t know why they can’t just call it “beer” either.

Saskatchewan came with a mustard cured duck bacon, Lac La Ronge wild rice and barley galette with carmine jewel cherry preserve. The duck was slightly tough but tasted okay. The rice, however, was a little too bland even with the salty duck on top of it.

Representing the Okanagan was a juniper cured venison bresadla with arugula and crispy shallots. I love cured meat and this is a good way to enjoy it but the venison is a tad dry for me. I would’ve preferred more of the cured prosciutto texture.

It’s hard to go wrong with putting anything on your macaroni and cheese, especially something as awesome as lobster. Prince Edward Island prepared a creamy mac and cheese, full of great little crunchy, overbaked pieces of melty cheese and a few chunks of succulent lobster. Not particularly creative but no complaints about the flavor.

Manitoba describes their dish as Manitoban smoked goldeye terrine with beet and goat cheese puree and sauteed pickerel cheeks, micro greens and a flax seed vinaigrette. The pickerel cheek was cooked nicely and seasoned well but the smoked goldeye terrine was tepid and lacked flavor. Absolutely stone cold but maybe it was just mine but I didn’t go back to try again.

I spoke to many people at the event and mostly everyone agreed that the best dish was from Quebec. This is a quail stuffed with fiddleheads, wrapped in boar bacon with celeriac and apple puree. The quail is tender and juicy and I don’t even really know what fiddleheads are but oh man, the stuffing inside the quail is just delicious. Mixed with the creamy puree and this is just a fantastic dish. I had seconds and probably could’ve had room for another if I didn’t try just about everything in the room. I’m sure I missed a couple but it was a busy night and a couple tables shut down before the end of it.

I’m not much a dessert guy but even I had to try the dish from BC, a hazelnut s’more with Philadelphia Cream Cheese and Christie graham crumbs, dark chocolate and marshmallows. Alone it would’ve been a very good dessert already, full of chocolate and hazelnut flavor…rich and velvety but paired with a Canterbury iced hazelnut coffee sealed the deal.

And I’m not even much of a coffee drinker. I’m much more into tea so fortunately for me, there was a big spread of various teas from Silk Road Tea in Victoria. I had an iced tea that I could swear tasted of ginger but didn’t have any in it and an oolong tea that was perfect for winding down after sampling so many different dishes.

Fantastic event put on by the CCFCC and while there were a few dishes that fell flat, there were a few that were flat out amazing. Someone call Quebec and tell them to ship me some more of that quail.

I know I don’t usually talk Canucks here (again) but I want to do what I can. This is also posted over at Canucks Hockey Blog, where I usually talk hockey.

Please read.

As a writer, I hate seeing that phrase to begin as it reminds me of those e-mail chain letters but I can’t help but just beg you to read this just one time. I promise you I am not trying to waste your time. If you are a Canucks fan or a Vancouver resident, I urge you to read this as it matters like few other things do to every one of us. Whether you love Vancouver or you love the Canucks, I dearly love both even if our relationship is strained at times and so I don’t care which camp you’re in as long as you’re in one or both. This is important. I don’t know how many people will read this but if I can get a few more, it would be worth it.

Even if this point has been made already, I feel compelled to try to convince you for myself because of the gravity of this situation. Some of you might not need much convincing but others might. I apologize if you find me long winded and for not having a “too long, didn’t read” version available at this time as it is 6am and I’m writing on no sleep, editing photos from last night’s Vancouver riot after the Canucks lost 4-0 in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. It’s just how I write…I don’t how to otherwise. Years and years of writing essays in school. Sorry but again, important. Long but I might need it to convince you to take action.

Whether you are a fan or not, I don’t care. I know that while many people in Vancouver are fanatics like myself, others don’t really care about the Canucks but this one time, we all need to agree on something and that is we need to put an end to this garbage before it happens a third time. Am I jumping the gun? Perhaps but if you saw the gravity of what happened last night in downtown Vancouver at ground zero like I did, you would rather be safe than sorry. My throat is still a little sore from coughing due to all the gas and smoke. The blatant idiocy that happened last night has and will cost us dearly whether it be from our wallets or our reputation worldwide, which has been at an all time high since our awesome Vancouver 2010 Olympics and a historic Vancouver Canucks run through the playoffs. Whether you care or not, this is now what makes the news. Instead of a loss for us to hang our heads about for a couple weeks and take some trash talk from Bruins fans, we are now the laughing stock of the world for trashing our own home. How stupid is this? If you went mad inside your house and tore that thing down, you would be absolutely insane. How on earth is this different? We’re blinder than referees here.

I have to admit I am one of those people that will joke about a riot anytime the Canucks even come close to losing…even in the regular season. But that mostly happens when I’m in bars. It’s 17 years ago and like that ‘94 game 7 loss, that riot has lost its sting. It is part of our Canucks lore, spoken of in damming tones like that damned goal post that Nathan Lafayette hit that could’ve sent the game against the Rangers into overtime. Yes, those riots were awful too but we can be lighthearted after some time. But jokes are jokes. I’m hearing conflicted reports that people are in the hospital and even that a fan died yesterday. I saw a man get kicked and pepper sprayed last night. This is insanity, people. What are we doing to ourselves? I never expected what happened last night.

I wrote last week that regardless of what the Canucks do in game 7, history had already been made. That was a long read as well but in short, we speak of ‘94 affectionately and our greatest heroes were some of the men on that roster. I would have no words for a Stanley Cup win. I’ve dreamed of it often in the 20 years I’ve been a Canucks fan but I’ve had fun every year and I have great memories that I speak of often because I love this team. Well, maybe not of the Messier/Keenan era but you are a LIAR if you tell me you were a Messier fan then. A loss is a loss. We win together, we lose together.

Real fans don’t riot. Real fans take the loss, drink a beer or two and get prepared for discussing the off-season. We are all Canucks. Are you going to stop being a Canuck now? We don’t do this. We are sportsmen like our team. We are one of the best run organizations in the league. President’s Trophy winners. Western Conference Champions. Our boys have given millions to charity. For all the abuse the Sedins have taken, they took it upon themselves to give $1.5 million of their own money to help sick kids. I’ve met some of the players and they are the nicest guys in the world, even when I don’t expect them to be after a tough loss or they’re just going about their business. Burrows, in particular, seems to always have all the time in the world for fans. Does this look like the dirty team the media has portrayed them to be? No. And it sure doesn’t look like a team that deserves the negative press we’re all going to get for this fiasco.

Our city is in ruins today because of a few who decided this would be a decent excuse to cause some trouble. I know this because I was there and overheard a lot, mostly that the troublemakers couldn’t care less about how the game went. They were going to break windows, burn cars and steal from us whether the Canucks won or lost. The world’s headlines say CANUCKS FANS RIOT or something similar this morning. Mayhem! I saw was the headline in this morning’s Province. All because of a few. There were well over 100,000 people in the crowds downtown. There weren’t 100,000 rioters. There were probably a number of spectators and bystanders. The rioters aren’t fans. They wear our colors but they’re not Canucks.

A brave few were able to stand up to the masses, proclaiming that this was our city, what on earth were we doing to our own city? If you head to YouTube, I’m sure you’ll find more than a few courageous souls defending our honor. Thank them, if you will because they did what few could bring themselves to voice, even though I’m sure most of us felt the same way. I’m afraid I wasn’t one of these brave people. Actually, I’m one of the spectators that some of you yelled at for giving these people an audience. I agree with you but let me justify my actions. No, I wasn’t thinking all of this at the time but it’s gotten stronger in my mind as the hours have passed.

My grades may not have been straight A’s but I do hold a major in sociology and can tell a thing or two about mob mentality. Once that crowd was down there, if someone was going to incite a riot, it was going to avalanche because the wave of insanity would reach people faster than they could leave with all that congestion. People are curious creatures so naturally, many are going to want to see what’s going on and as the night goes on, more will join them. I decided that it wasn’t a good bet to hedge my safety or that of my friends in what was a lost cause, at least nothing that one man is going to stop. Many of the brave who urged the crowds not to damage buildings got things thrown at them or worse. I said weeks ago that win or lose, I would go downtown to celebrate with fellow Canucks fans that want to when it was all said and done on the ice.

That and I was carrying all kinds of camera equipment on me. I noticed that a lot of people were doing the same. The great thing about the internet and camera phones…you’re going to see every event from multiple angles and vantage points.

Basically, Vancouver, we have every single rioter who broke a window, turned over a car, tore trees from our ground (yes, that happened), and set our streets on fire already on our memory cards. Some may have face masks but even then, some have identifiable tattoos and other features. We can get all these morons, Vancouver. You’re right, maybe I should’ve said a thing or two to prevent more damage to our city when I was down there last night…but most of it already happened. We can make sure right now it doesn’t happen again.

Why? Two reasons. Firstly, this is our home. As I mentioned before, we all look like this right now. How many of you did I hear in person or on the internet say how ashamed they are of what has happened? We all know what’s going on. It’s the people that wrecked downtown Vancouver that haven’t thought this all the way through. Remember our reputation as a no fun city? Imagine how it’s going to be now after the city realizes that even though they put on a huge party downtown for us, WE DID THIS. We’re like the kids that were given a sweet ninja weapons as a birthday gift on the condition that we wouldn’t attack anyone with it and then going and bonking someone in the head with nun-chucks. We screwed up with our fun toy, Vancouver and now our parents might take it away. What happens next playoffs? Sorry, fans…no awesome outdoor viewing screens no one else on the planet would do for a hockey team.

Secondly, the Canucks. Can you imagine how it must be to feel to know the city rioted because they lost? Or worse…can you imagine how they’re going to feel NEXT playoffs when we might be here again. They’re going to want to lose just so we don’t burn this place to the ground! The riot didn’t happen because the Canucks lost but they might think that way. Despite what Ryan Whitney will tell you, the Canucks are one of the most desirable teams in the NHL to play for. Do you think players want to play here if they know our fans are psychopaths that will tear this place apart?

So I urge you, please…upload any photos you have of rioters that may assist the police in bringing these criminals to justice. If you aren’t convinced, tell me how I can convince you to do the right thing, right now and if I can convince you to tell everyone you know to do the same. They have stolen from us not only by stealing but by costing the city millions…which is money out of our pockets. Even if they are your family or friends, this was a stupid thing they did. If you aren’t going to identify them to police, I understand. At least talk to them and make sure they know how stupid it is to basically be taking money out of our own pockets and setting it alight. I understand the importance of blood but at least give them grief if you see a picture of a family member standing on top of a flaming, upside-down police car. Either way, we need to see these people punished. Don’t think we can’t do it? Even if that facial recognition is mumbo jumbo…with the internet, someone is bound to know who these jerks are. We have to do this.

If we don’t, how can the Canucks carry on? How can we carry on as a city if every time something cool happens, we burn it all up? We are better than this.

If all of us smart people are all together, we outnumber the idiots. I have to believe that, Vancouver. Let’s do this right the first time. If we don’t all do something, these people have nothing to fear. I hope you love our city and our hockey team as much as I do.

Contact the Vancouver Police Department with photo or video evidence or witness accounts by e-mail at robbery@vpd.ca or by phone at 604-717-2541. I’m sure you can contact them any other way too…this is important. I’m sure they’ve got time.

I know I don’t usually talk Canucks here but one win away from a Stanley Cup, I can’t resist. This is also posted over at Canucks Hockey Blog, where I usually talk hockey.

The commercials may say otherwise but in reality, history has already been made. I’m not sure how many of us have stopped to think about it but we are witnessing an important point in time. Regardless of whether we win or lose, this magical playoff run of the 2010/2011 Vancouver Canucks will be spoken of for generations. I can see myself now, an old man chatting with my equally old friends, telling our grandchildren of this illustrious time of our youth.

“Where were you when Burr gloved that puck down and scored to beat the Hawks?”

“You remember when Juice was the only one in Rogers Arena that knew where that bouncing puck off the glass was and sent us to the Stanley Cup Finals?”

“Game 1 was a thriller where Raffi Torres scored with 18 seconds left and Lu shut the Bruins out!”

“11 seconds! That was all it took for Burr to win us game 2!”

“Man, how awesome was Luongo when he bounced back after two awful games with a shutout in game 5?”

This will be especially true for those of us who weren’t born in ‘82 and were a little too young to fully comprehend how important ‘94 was. I was 11 at the time and while I followed the whole ‘94 run and idolize guys like Linden, Bure, and McLean, I’d be lying if I said my memories weren’t hazy and greatly supplemented by highlights in the 17 years since. I remember the way I felt, I remember that our boys gave it their all and came a goal post away from sending that epic series into overtime, but specifics about the times or where my life was? That’s all a little much for my 11 year old brain to remember.

But this time is different. I can tell you exactly where I was for almost every goal. I can tell you things I said at specific times.

I could tell you that I called Chris Higgins (I call him “Chiggins”…) to score the double overtime goal in game 5 against the Sharks and swore at the very moment that he got on that breakaway that if he scored, I would run outside and buy a jersey with his name across my back.

I can tell you I actually jumped for joy when I watched Burr pot that 11 second overtime wraparound, spilling my beer and immediately high-fiving any and all around me, including several other bloggers here at Canucks Hockey Blog…most of which I met in person for the first time.

I can tell you I did not see the twins before a friend said “Wait a minute…” and pressed rewind. No, I am not talking about the Sedins.

Just like I can tell you where I was when we won gold in ‘02 and when Crosby scored The Golden Goal. I’m sure I’m not the only one that will remember where I was not only in terms of location but where I was in life at this particular moment in time. If that isn’t making history, then someone needs to bring me a dictionary. I know it’s recent but there are things you don’t forget. For me, that’s things like this…and the lyrics to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Will we win? Let me be the first to tell you that winning when we’ve come so far together…it isn’t irrelevant but it isn’t everything. This is a very results-orientated business and a highly critical city but here on the cusp of something so great, we really should remember what we love about our team.

While bandwagoners and naysayers will only look at results, what most true Canucks fans want is to see is a real effort. Real fans are different in that way. I won’t say it’s a uniquely Canadian quality or unique to hockey. It’s something about sport and true fans of it. We want to see our team give it their all, to leave every last bit of themselves on the ice, to show us what they’re really made of. If they give us that, then a positive result is a bonus. A huge bonus but a bonus. We remember and revere ‘94 and ‘82 because that’s what we got from our team, an effort.

We love Roger Neilson because he would never surrender. We love Kirk McLean because we could count on him to make that save. We love Pavel Bure because we could count on him to score. We love Trevor Linden because even if it was on crutches…we knew he would play.

Look at our franchise’s greatest heroes. Not a Stanley Cup ring among them…at least not while they were on our team. If the Canucks win it all this year, will we forget about Stan Smyl? Gino Odjick? Geoff Courtnall? Cliff Ronning? No…because they’re not heroes because they won. Their bodies were bruised and perhaps a few bones were broken but their hearts would never give up. They are our heroes because they littered the ice with their sweat, tears and Canuck-colored blood.

A loss would hurt. No one would think otherwise. I mean, have you heard this city? It erupts when we score. You can hear all of Vancouver telling the refs they suck. We are invested. A loss would in all likelihood would end with me in the back of a police car or so drunk out of my mind, I will actually appear in The Hangover 3 despite not being cast in the movie. But after the alcoholism and buffoonery stop, we can’t help but look back fondly on the days we supported our team for over two months after the last regular season game. Oh, how long and awful those scraggly playoff beards were on our otherwise handsome face-parts, we will say. Even bad memories will eventually get a laugh or two. Have you heard anyone speak of Nathan Lafayette in anger? Probably not. It isn’t as if he didn’t try. He just missed. Even Gretzky can miss. People are probably more pissed at the post…that bastard.

If this, then, is how Vancouver speaks of those who haven’t brought home the big prize, then what sort of praise do our boys deserve if they do? To be honest, I have no idea. Congratulations sound empty. Clapping or cheering seems unworthy. I wouldn’t even know what to say if the Canucks get their name engraved on that trophy and in turn, engrave themselves into the memories of millions of us Canucks around the planet. It would be part of our city as I’m sure a day, park, statue, bridge or whatever else we can find will be named in their honor. Minstrels will write songs in their praise…well, more of them anyways. It wouldn’t be enough. As those would have won before will tell you, there are no words.

I would tell the players to make Vancouver proud but the reality is…we are already proud. Proud that we’ve made it this far. Proud that the Canucks wear our city’s name on your chests like Supermans (…Supermen?) and that we can proudly wear their names on our backs.

Thank you, Canucks. Thank you for this historic season. Thank you for being our team. Our Canucks.

It seems like the cool thing to do these days is to claim that what you’ve written is unbiased and objective. I, instead, will claim the exact opposite. Alright, boys…we got a Cup to win.

Go Canucks go!

Before we go any further, I should tell you that I think Thor could have been a pretty good movie. The only thing that’s truly wrong with it? It’s about Thor.

I know he’s a headliner, one of the Avengers and overall a rather popular part of the Marvel universe but I just don’t find anything about him compelling or interesting. The best part of about most superheroes is they started out like any of us. Some might be obscenely rich like Iron Man or really smart like Beast but still, the origin story usually begins with a relatively normal person. On the other hand, we are fully aware of Thor’s god origins from the start. Sure, his powers are taken away in an attempt to give us a quasi-origin story but c’mon, we see him swinging that hammer around for at least half of the preview.

Comic book writers have long figured out ways to give their superheroes weaknesses because unstoppable, unkillable beings are just not all that entertaining to watch since it removes tension or sense of danger from the plot. I scoured the nerdiest of websites on Marvel lore and couldn’t find much evidence of Thor’s weaknesses apart from the fact that he isn’t particularly bright. There’s also a bit of chatter about him needing to wear his belt to use his hammer time powers but I don’t understand how his need to accessorize has anything to do with his fighting ability.

Thor begins with a little backstory, mostly regarding how the big bad frost giants were going around making people into popsicles until Anthony Hopkins and his funny hat come to take the bully’s toys away. Naturally the frost giants aren’t too happy about this and try to get their massive ice cube back, which triggers a poorly thought out attack by Thor (Chris Hemsworth). As a result, he ends up on earth, getting run over by Jane (Natalie Portman), some sort of scientist.

The character is based on Norse mythology so you’d expect everyone to look like some sort of viking. Marvel takes this one step further with Thor and makes it “vikings in space”. Yes, that sounds silly but it could work given the right script and dialogue. Unfortunately, Thor is full of over-the-top lines stuffed with faux heroism like early ’90s wrestling. I half expected Thor to tell the frost giants he’d see them at Wrestlemania next Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY! Some of it works. The lines that were probably intended to be funny were actually quite funny. I laughed out loud when I saw the legions of rednecks pulling up their trucks and barbecues to the site where Thor’s hammer landed, which includes a chuckle worthy cameo with Stan Lee. Thor’s fish-out-of-water scenes are genuinely funny and endearing but between the unintentional comedy and a mostly uninteresting story line, there’s not enough to keep anyone’s attention.

That sort of wastes some rather good performances from the cast across the board. Hemsworth does his bit, as does Natalie Portman, even if their roles don’t require much more than just being charming. It isn’t Portman’s fault that her character isn’t believable. That isn’t because of her performance but simply…there’s no way scientists look like her.

That’s really the bulk of the problems with this movie. The action is above average and despite some shoddy CG here and there, the film looks top quality. Even the fight scenes are done rather well. I thought there was only a couple ways a guy could fight with a big hammer but apparently there’s quite a few more.

However, I simply didn’t care about anything happening. There’s never anything really at stake. Sure, it would probably be in Earth’s best interest if Asgarde is there to have our back but none of what goes on in Thor really matters. Not much is at stake for the viewer. I just don’t care about any of anything that’s going on on screen. There isn’t even a big bad guy for Thor to fight…not one that most viewers will care to watch anyways. There are a couple of interesting Marvel Universe cameos that show up in the film, including one of Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye but overall, I felt like I could’ve just skipped Thor and not be any worse off.

It’s a decent action flick if you want to see vikings in space beat up on strange blue dudes and I’m sure all the Marvel fans will be all over this but for the casual viewer, this is probably one of the least interesting comic book movies and surely the worst to come from Marvel.

…oh wait, forgot about Spider-man 3.

Verdict: 5.0 out of 10

A few years ago, Half-Life 2 came out and other than being a freakin’ awesome game with some of the most innovative gameplay mechanics around, it was the basis for other popular games such as Counter-Strike. However, the real gem was somewhat overlooked at first…that little game included in the Orange Box package called Portal. It sounded cool enough but I didn’t see how a game like this where I’m not firing hot lead at people’s faces and/or groins could possibly entertain the violence desensitized masses.

But it did. In fact, I’ve said since playing it that Portal is at the very least one of the best games ever created. Yes, right up there with the Marios and Zeldas or whatever else you hold up there on your video gaming pedestal. Yes, it is that good. If you haven’t played the original Portal, then you can probably find it for $10 somewhere as the Orange Box is roughly 4-5 years old now. I highly recommend you play it as I can’t think of a single person that would not have fun.

The original lacked in terms of storytelling. It was more of a demo for the technology and mechanics than a full game but few games have as much personality, which is strange because the only living thing in the game is your player character. The rest is a cast of boxes, turrets, panels, whatever. Oh, and GLaDOS, an AI that controls the Aperture Science facility where you’re testing the portal gun.

To understand how everything feels alive when it really isn’t, I recommend you watch this IKEA commercial.

We’re all well aware that lamps aren’t alive but that Pixar lamp…can you be so sure? Portal is filled with stuff like this like turrets that shoot you when they see you and ask “Are you still there…?” when they can’t. Even the panels of walls move and shake like they’re alive. Heck, there’s a cube that doesn’t even say or do anything…it just has hearts all over it. That and we haven’t even talked about GLaDOS yet, who taunts you in a sort of passive aggressive manner in a strangely sexy robot voice…like Alicia Keys stole T-Pain’s autotuner…and was a jerk.

And the gameplay…oh man, it is fun. Portal is sort of a thinking man’s game. You can’t brute force anything and most of the time, you’ll have to stare at the screen and figure out how the puzzle works before trying to execute it a few times. In early levels, things are straight-forward but it gets progressively harder until you have to have both a physics major and serious video game reflexes. It never gets frustratingly hard although a couple puzzles come close.

Portal is a near perfect game. It has just about everything. If it had a plot that made more sense or wasn’t such a throw together sci-fi script, it would be perfect but it makes up for it in other areas. It even has probably the coolest song to ever be featured in a video game.

Portal 2 is some more of the awesome we had in Portal. It takes place years after the original, as you can see by the state of ruin Aperture Science is in but it starts quickly and you’re into the action early. The reveal near the beginning of the game is spectacular and it only gets better from there. While the first game lacked plot, Portal 2 is an achievement in storytelling. While the plot itself is rather standard and the twists didn’t surprise me all that much, this is one of the funniest and most interestingly told scripts ever in video gaming.

It isn’t the main plot that’s awesome. I love the dialog from GLaDOS and Wheatley (Steven Merchant does the voice). The taunts from GLaDOS after every test puzzle is hysterical and Steven Merchant is at his best…although I could never not see his face when Wheatley would talk.

Again, the plot isn’t anything new but oh my god, is it amazing to experience. The Aperture Science labs, especially later on in the game, is one of the best looking environments I’ve ever seen. The vastness in scale and size is staggering and even though the Source engine is 7 years old, it looks fantastic. There isn’t a single second of Portal 2 where I didn’t want to keep playing. It’s paced well and you always want to see what the next level brings. That’s the mark of a great game. “Oh, just one more…and then one more after that.”

The only real problem with Portal 2 is the puzzles aren’t quite hard enough. Most of the time, they seem downright obvious although in later levels, they take 5-10 minutes a piece just to figure out. However, I can see why. Any harder and the puzzles might just be frustrating rather than fun.

Regardless, if someone asked me to give them the best example of a video game, it would be Portal or Portal 2. It is as good as a video game can be in terms of…well, everything. If you aren’t having fun with these games, then I’m sorry to say…there is something wrong with you.

Also, remember to watch even after you’ve beaten the game. I cracked up when I saw the leopard print.

…you’ll see.

I love these new tiny rugged HD video cameras that basically every EXTREME! sports fanatic wears on their head these days. They give us perspective previously only captured by shaky, blurry, non-high definition video and…well, I’ve pretty much stopped watching anything that isn’t HD on TV already.

Living in Vancouver, you have to be into snow sports like snowboarding and skiing, two things I love but to be honest, I’m usually scared out of my wits when I hit a black run. That’s no problem for these guys though. They’re rewarded for their thrill-seeking when a massive avalanche shows up behind them, making for some awesome video. This looks fun as hell…y’know, if you don’t poop your pants on the way down.

P.S. one of those dudes just ditches his ski poles. Since when are they disposable?

Seems like Happy Brian finally joined the 21st century and got his restaurant a website! Er…there’s nothing actually ON the website yet but still. We’d like to take credit, by the way. I don’t know if anyone else besides us calls the restaurant “Happy Pho” but I honestly don’t care, we dubbed it Happy Pho. To this day, I still don’t really know what the place is actually named. Another Dot Com Pho first.

This week, we talk Vancouver sports fans, how The Network Hub is related to Happy Pho, and some financial jargon from Aaron.

One year ago, I was invited by Karen Hamilton of tinybites.com to join her and a group of local food bloggers for the 11th Annual Healthy Chef Competition. I had quite an awesome time sampling some amazing food, drinking random green things (since it was St. Patrick’s Day) and chatting with people that I otherwise only knew from the internet. Unfortunately, many of the folks that attended last year, including Karen, were otherwise occupied. I also wasn’t seated next to Mijune from Follow Me Foodie this year, which is an obvious disadvantage as Mijune gathers plates of food like the table needs supplies for hibernation. I mean, I’m quick and all but even I can’t think of things like eating desserts that were previously the display model or eating spoonfuls of delicious random foam while standing at a chef’s table. Lesley Chang came with me this year and fortunately, she was recently cured of her vegetarianism.

Most of you, myself included, see images of raw celery or steamed tofu when you think of healthy but as last year’s Healthy Chef showed, there are a heck of a lot of ways to make fish, lamb and even pork good for you. This is more of a way to promote healthy eating through fresh, local vegetables and sustainable meat that hasn’t been Frankenstein-ed up. Knowing where your food came from and what goes in it is a good start to eating better.

There were several members of the B.C. Lions in attendance as well as part of the fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society. I forgot the snap a picture of them but quarterback Travis Lulay and lineman Angus Reid were there. I’ve heard stories of Reid eating an entire Elvis platter (intended for four people) at Memphis Blues before so I can only imagine what happens when you put a plate of carrots and zucchini in front of him.

We started with this, a confit salmon roulade with fresh herbs and a baby vegetable salad in a citrus emulsion, made by the Hyatt Regency. Light and refreshing but slightly uninteresting. I sort of understand why this was our starter since they had to make ten times as many compared to the entrees but after last year’s mushrooms and sweetbreads, it’s just not as exciting.

My first entree was from The International Culinary School, a sous vide loin of New Zealand lamb served with sunchoke barigoule, mint spring pea puree, pickled Nameko mushrooms in a red wine reduction. The lamb was delicious, perfectly tender and a beautiful medium rare. Cooking it sous vide gives it a smooth, silky texture that goes well with the red wine reduction. Also, nice touch with the Nameko mushrooms. I first had these at Kanda Yabu Soba in Tokyo three years ago in a soba dish and they blew my mind with the amount of flavor nature has packed into these tiny little mushrooms. Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy the other veggies on my plate. They were a bit undercooked for my liking and the quinoa served as a side didn’t do anything for me.

The second entree I tried was from the Chinese Canadian Chef Association. The room was buzzing about how colorful the dish was but unfortunately, everyone I spoke to after they ate it was disappointed by the dish. On my plate, the scallops lacked flavor. Lesley and I also found that they weren’t quite as fresh as they could be. I enjoyed the prawns more but they weren’t particularly special either. The soba noodles on the plate had no particular flavor and what was on my plate was very overcooked…to the point of basically falling apart to mush. Very pretty plate…but lots to work on.

I also tried a bunch of Lesley’s dishes as well. Her first entree was from Goldfish Pacific Kitchen, a yuzu marmalade-glazed Gelderman Farm’s pork loin with five vegetable pave, roasted sunchoke puree in a maple bourbon gastrique. It’s quite easy to dry out pork loin but this dish manages to stay moist and flavorful.

She also had the Rabbit’s Feast from The Well, which was one of the favorite dishes at our table. It features a roulade of rabbit, pulled leg, and Dutch sausage with braised red cabbage, slow cooked cherry tomatos, roasted golden beets, sauteed zucchini and squash, honey glazed carrots, farro and cauliflower puree, in a natural reduction Another delicious dish that looked quite healthy but was packed with flavor, which goes to show that healthy food shouldn’t be bland. The rabbit meat was melt-in-your-mouth and the veggies were crisp. I actually really enjoy beets prepared like this.

Between us, we tried five of the desserts.

Executive Hotel’s dessert is a Parfait Pyramid with pistachio and chocolate parfait with minted mango, melon, and strawberry salsa as well as mandarin brandy glaze and raspberry coulis. I found the salsa a bit too sour but when you eat it with the ice cream, it goes quite well.

The chocolate is dark and rich but the pistachio was lacking. Maybe it wasn’t frozen right because beneath a thin layer of ice cream, the rest was melted and quickly disintegrated when I poked at it. This is the display above but as you can see, the structural integrity problem isn’t isolated to the one I had.

People are surprised when I tell them that Vancouver Community College is no slouch in this competition and that they’ve won the last two years. They’re at it again this year with this carmella mousse and hazelnut cake with apple tarte tatin and cranberry and citrus sorbet. The cake was crisp and wafer-like with plenty of hazelnutty flavor but that apple tarte tatin was the star for me. Those ribbons of caramelized apples were like a great slice of apple pie and would’ve been even better if it was warm.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell which berry flavor the cranberry and citrus sorbet was but it was refreshing…and gone before we got to the apple tarte.

Although it looks like a portrait from space, this is actually “bacon and eggs” by the River Rock Casino Resort. Not actually bacon and eggs…since that would probably be gross for dessert but a number of things that look like the breakfast. The “yolks” are mango and the “whites” are coconut tapioca. It’s a striking presentation but didn’t work for me taste-wise. The blueberries were mouth-puckeringly sour while the cubes of “bacon” didn’t have enough flavor. Putting multiple elements of the plate together didn’t yield any better results. I applaud the effort but this wasn’t one of my favorites.

A few familiar elements in the Chinese Canadian Chef Association’s dessert. I recognized the egg tart immediately but I was informed by the chef that it was a strawberry egg tart, to go with the other strawberry elements of the dish like a strawberry mousse and strawberry/lychee jelly. The egg tart didn’t have a particularly strong strawberry flavor but it was there. Of the three, I think I liked the mousse the best. An average dessert…I had no real complaints but it wasn’t as memorable as some of the others.

Our favorite dessert came from The Well. This is a Tropical Pavlova with coconut sorbet, orange gel, kiwi coulis, rum-glazed pineapple, and a tropical fruit salad. That coconut sorbet is excellent. At first I thought it was just a milk sorbet but my second time around, I got the coconut. It was a hit with everyone I talked to. Mike Schurko from our table was so blown away that he ate plates! Mijune didn’t even bother with the plates and went straight to The Well’s booth.

Unfortunately, none of the dishes I had this year won any awards! The Healthy Plate Award went to the River Rock for this modern art-looking dish, consisting of braised sea cucumber with shiitake mushrooms, pea sprouts, prawns, a garden pea puree, lily bulbs garnished with beet powder and chive oil. I can see how this won the Healthy Plate Award. It doesn’t have a traditional protein, instead going with sea cucumber which is extremely low in calories and fat. Sea cucumber might not be everyone’s bag but I actually really enjoy it.

Although…to be honest, there isn’t really much on the plate, certainly not enough for a whole meal for the average person. I can’t imagine anyone eating a couple mushrooms and half a slice of sea cucumber and not thinking they’ll be hungry in 10 minutes. It seems more like an appetizer.

Best Entree went to our hosts the Hyatt Regency Vancouver for this tandoori rubbed beef tenderloin with Aloo tikki (…what?) spring vegetables, mint chutney and beet coulis. I don’t quite remember this dish at the event but after seeing the picture of it when I got home, I wish I got this! That tenderloin looks stunning…cooked just the way I like it. In case you were like me and wondering what on earth Aloo tikki is…click here.

Best Dessert came from Goldfish. This is a trio of desserts: a pineapple yogurt mousse with fresh pineapple garnish and coconut brittle, a white chocolate apple soft cake with apple compote and lavender anglaise) and a strawberry panna cotta with peanut butter shortbread and strawberry gastrique.

Some of the other dishes served:

Executive Hotel’s seared rare tuna and Berkshire pork belly served with a Yukon gold potato roll, a grilled vegetable napoleon and Fraser Valley pea shoots.

Steamed lettuce-wrapped wild salmon with mussels in a lemongrass gastrique from Delizia Fusion Cuisine.

Vancouver Community College’s entree, a fillet of beef, stew braised brisket and mushroom spinach ravioli served with a saute of root vegetables in a sherry vinegar jus.

Delizia’s dessert, called Panna Cotta Mi Amore. It’s a light version of panna cotta, made with Almond Breeze, Amaretto di Saronno and agave nectar, Served in Tuiles Amandine, garnished with forest berries and drizzled with Chambord Royale coulis

Dessert from the International Culinary School at the Art Institute of Vancouver is a ginger-spiced “Healthy Apple Bar” with vanilla-scented rice, honey panna cotta, Gewurztraminer braised pear and cardamom tuile.

Hyatt Regency Vancouver’s Trio of Strawberries: a strawberry shooter, marinated strawberries on meringue and a strawberry tart.

Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures of the two dishes from Dynasty Seafood Restaurant. They did not have a display up at the time I was taking pictures, probably because the judges were around tasting their dishes at the time. Their entree was a steamed pomegranate chicken with assorted rice wrapped in lotus leaf and their dessert was a trio of Chinese pastries: moonlight rabbit, osmanthus and apple pudding and hedgehog pastries.

Like last year, we received a box of fresh produce to take home with us to make our own healthy meals. Lots of great stuff like banana squash, cucumber and fresh herbs in there. Also like last year, it was a fun event to sample some amazing food and chat with people, especially the local foodie scene at my table and the one right behind us. I’m already looking forward to next year…March 15th, 2012!

I remember in 1989 that 6-year old me thought that by the time we hit the year 2000, there would be laser guns, hover shoes and cars that drive themselves. Unfortunately, here we are 11 years after Y2K hit and still we are using traditional projectiles, shoes that actually meet the floor and seriously no one has trained monkeys to the point where they can be named Alfred and chauffeur us around town. I’d even settle for a Jetsons version of the future where they say it’s 2062 and yet except for the fact that cars fly, it looks like 1952. If State Fairs from the ’50s have taught us anything, it’s that the future is now…or at least it should’ve been around now and yet when you look around, people still don’t have jetpacks.

Since he’s probably similarly frustrated that the future isn’t yet upon us, a man named Patrick Priebe has made his own laser gun. No, really…it’s a laser gun. It probably won’t kill anyone but it would probably hurt like hell getting shot with something that can put little tiny holes into bits of plastic, foam and metal. I also love that he styled it to look like what would happen if Judge Dread starred in Portal 2…with Robocop.

Better get working on a higher powered version of this. I’d like to put in an order for a half-dozen of those before the zombie apocalypse.

At first, I just assumed that Black Swan was going to be defined by the fact that it contains a sex scene with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. We all know a few of those movies that are known for just that one scene. For example, I have absolutely zero recollection of the plot of Wild Things (and until this moment, I didn’t know there’s not one but two sequels!) but like millions of other men across the planet, I know that Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make out in it. In a pool or something. And that guy that’s the brother of Johnny Drama is in it somewhere too.

One would assume that with all the hype surrounding the scene with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, Black Swan was simply one of those movies but unlike how Wild Things is forgotten at the bottom of a bin somewhere at Wal-Mart, Black Swan is receiving quite a bit of buzz and five Academy Award nominations. And rightfully so as Darren Aronofsky’s film is one of the creepiest, weirdest and most interesting films I’ve seen in quite some time. The background of Black Swan is sort of a story we’ve all see before. The backstage drama, the rival dancers that are almost polar opposites, the sordid affairs…it’s something that’s been done as many times as the actual Swan Lake but just as every performance of Swan Lake differs in the telling and the nuance, Black Swan still seems fresh and modern.

A New York ballet company is opening a new season and quickly after ditching their aging star dancer (Winona Ryder), they’re looking for a new swan queen. Nina (Natalie Portman) seems to be the front runner but the role of the swan queen requires technique and innocence as well as passion and seduction since the white swan Odette and the black swan Odile are played by the same ballerina. The director, Thomas (Vincent Cassel…who I remember as the French guy from the bad Ocean’s movies and in Eastern Promises), claims that Nina is perfect for the white swan as she has great talent and near flawless technique but doesn’t thinks she has what it takes the be the black swan. She’s too controlled, too disciplined…striving for absolute perfection.

I can see the logic behind what he’s saying. I see it on So You Think You Can Dance every year…it’s not about the steps or the choreography, the best performances are when the dancer just dances. Opposite Portman is Mila Kunis, who plays Lily, a new dancer to the company. Adventurous, daring and slightly vulgar, Lily is pretty much what Nina is not and Thomas quickly sees her as a candidate for swan queen. The stark contrast between the two dancers is one of the similarities between Black Swan and the ballet they’re trying to portray in the movie. If it makes any sense, this is a Swan Lake movie about Swan Lake.

Black Swan isn’t a horror film at all but some of the imagery and the psychological overtones will be disturbing to most. It’s a movie about dance but the focus is squarely on Nina. As we move through the 107 minutes of the film, we slowly delve further into her psyche and watch as she is quickly losing her sanity. Darren Aronofsky works magic to bring this downward spiral to life, using subtle pops, echos and strange Doppler effect-like sounds and quick, cutting images that make the audience wonder if we can believe what we actually saw or if we are being pulled a little bit into Nina’s web of delusions. Whoever did the sound for Black Swan should be commended. The last couple scenes, full of airy swoops, waves and smoldering breathlessness are exhilarating.

Fictional director Thomas also mirrors some of Aronofsky’s own intentions when he states he wants to strip Swan Lake down, make it raw and visceral. Swan Lake is filmed with shaky handheld cameras, often from angles and with the style we expect from documentaries. The camera work during the dance scenes is particularly impressive…almost as if the camera was dancing itself. The film itself is very minimalistic in presentation, letting the viewer draw it out in their minds rather than seeing it with their eyes. That isn’t to say the film isn’t visually stunning and beautiful but maybe not in the way one expects when it comes to ballet. Personally, I think one of the best examples of this beauty is in…the credits! Seriously. It closes the movie perfectly as the crowd noise is easily audible…then echos…and distorts eerily…and fades as white feathers (and a single black one) emerge along with the names of Aronofsky and other people that worked on the film well before the quiet piano number trickles in. It’s simple and haunting. That short 30 seconds sums up the descent into insanity of Black Swan.

What can I say of Natalie Portman’s performance here that hasn’t been said? She is nothing short of brilliant. She embodies her role like I’ve never seen her before. I never had to be convinced that I was watching Nina Sayers and not Natalie Portman. Her dancing probably isn’t flawless as a dancer but as an actress playing a dancer, she is flawless. I haven’t seen any of the other movies where the actress is nominated…and probably won’t by next week…but Portman is definitely worthy.

There are a number of shock and scares but don’t let that deter you from seeing this film. It’s a fascinating, visually surreal, and incredibly interesting film but Black Swan, I can’t say it reaches the upper echelon of movies that I would want on my desert island. I don’t think I had any particular emotional reaction to it and while it is memorable, I don’t think it makes any of my favorites lists. I like Black Swan but I don’t think I love it…not for any flaw in the film itself. Perhaps the best way I can explain is…I was gripped by the film, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it…but I don’t think I’d be all that excited to watch it again.

Verdict: 8.0 out of 10

In the year since the Olympics, not a day has gone by that I don’t miss it. I miss the 24/7 coverage on TV. I miss that “I Believe” song that was omnipresent last February. I miss having awesome nights at Heineken House. I miss the streets packed with people proudly wearing their country’s name. I miss hugging and high-fiving strangers. I’ve been in Vancouver for nearly 30 years and this was the most excited I’ve ever seen the city. I miss the celebrations. I miss that you could hear the entire city gasp and cheer in unison.

There are obviously those that don’t feel the same way about the Olympics as I and so many others do. Some hated the fact that the city blew all that money on a giant sporting event party and others that really didn’t care. I get asked all the time why I made such a big deal about the Olympics and why I make such a big deal about the Vancouver Canucks nearly all year round. Some people just don’t get it…the value of sport. Some people don’t understand how awesome it really was to have the Olympics here…to host the entire world for two weeks. It’s not just because the Olympic Games were mostly a success. I don’t know if I would’ve loved the Olympics the same way if we hadn’t won all those gold medals, capped by Sidney Crosby’s now legendary golden goal to seal it against the Americans. However, even if we didn’t win, I would’ve still looked back at that time with fond memories. It was the first time I had seen my city like that.

As Canadians, we’ve always had a bit of a self-depreciating sense of humor about ourselves. We know where we stand in terms of the world’s power. We know the way we pronounce, spell or do certain things might be a little comical to other countries but unlike most of them, we can take a joke. But don’t be fooled…we Canadians are a proud people. We know we’re awesome. We know this country we’re from is awesome. We don’t feel the need to pound our chest about it all the time but nonetheless, we love our home and we don’t forget where we came from. The Olympics presented us an opportunity to break out of our usual politeness and shake our national pride a bit. We cheered together. We had each other’s backs. We were united.

I don’t cry at weddings. I didn’t cry at the end of The Notebook but you’ll have to forgive me for tearing up a little any time someone brings up those glorious few weeks we experienced last year. The storylines couldn’t have been better if they were written. A no-fun city was transformed into the world’s party central. We were blessed with heroes that wore our country’s name.

Maybe the best part was that we were all such a big part of it. The Olympics probably wouldn’t have been such a success or something that we would talk about for a long, long time if the city didn’t embrace the games like it did. Yes, the actual games were a huge part of the legacy but all the people that I shared the experience with, all the people flooding the streets, the crowds were everyone felt like a friend…we made it special.

Will such an atmosphere ever come to Vancouver again? It’s hard to say. I’d venture to guess that only a Stanley Cup could contend with that level of celebration and even then, it wouldn’t be for weeks (…although I could be wrong.). Even if that happens, few of us would ever forget the truly wonderful time we shared in 2010.

There will be a few events celebrating the Olympics in the coming weeks including one today and another event on the 26th. On the 12th, there will be all sorts of Olympic reliving going on in downtown Vancouver. I’ll be there so if you spot me, say hi!