I know, right? I’m probably one of the last people you’d expect to be at an expo about things like sustainability, eco-friendliness, and being green considering my love for combustion engines and penchant for eating animals that are inching closer to that endangered species list. But that’s the way the world is changing. It’s silly to assume we can just use and use the world’s natural resources at the rate we’re going and expect them to last forever. As much as I love bluefin, even I have to admit that we need to find new ways to produce fish or we won’t have any more otoro. I love the noise of exploding gasses but with gas at $1.46 a liter, I might have to find myself something electric…or hope that hydrogen power is coming soon. I could always use some more education on topics like this so I was excited to see what was being shown at EPIC this year. I can’t get into everything but here’s some of the things that interested me at the expo.

I was invited to come by my friends at Whole Foods, who entertained and fed the crowds at the Epicurian Stage. Chefs Derek Sarno and Matt Talavera were serving up healthy meals with ingredients that both taste good and are good for you. You can see them tossing some kale to accompany the pork chops on the grill. Kale is amazing for you but can taste quite harsh and…chlorophyll-y? But cooked and seasoned right, it can be pretty darn delicious…or about as delicious as something good for you is going to get.

Whole Foods was also talking about their 5-step Animal Welfare Rating, which is their way of helping improve the lives of farm animals as well as educating people on where their food comes from. They had the actual farmers producing their meat at the expo talking about how things work on a daily basis. I think it’s important to learn about the origins of your food, especially meat not only for your health but knowing gives you a greater appreciation for what goes on your plate. For more information, check out the Whole Foods website here.

Sticking with food, one of the products on the floor has actually interested me for awhile but I was excited to try it out in person. SodaStream takes your ordinary water and carbonates it. That means you can make your own fizzy drinks at home at a fraction of the cost and with lower calories, sugar, etc. They say that sparkling water costs about 25 cents a liter with the machine. In comparison, you’re probably paying a bit less than $2 for a 2-liter of club soda at the supermarket.

I tried the cola and mango flavors, which weren’t bad. The cola was a step above Diet Coke but since it’s made with a sugar substitute rather than cane sugar or high fructose corn syrup, it still has that chemical aftertaste. They don’t use aspartame, mind you, but currently anything that isn’t sugar doesn’t taste like sugar to anyone with discerning tastebuds. The day someone invents a zero calorie sugar substitute that tastes like freakin’ sugar and doesn’t cause cancer, that person is going to be rich. Like Oprah-rich. It’s a great idea but I hate chemical sugar taste more than anything so I’ll need a drink mix with cane sugar or something.

Sustainability isn’t all about food. A lot of the exhibits were demonstrating green ways to decorate or renovate your home, including the outdoors. There were several patio sets and even some really cool sheds…yes, sheds but the thing that caught my eye was this wacky sphere gazebo from DeckPods. Seriously, doesn’t that look cool as hell? It’s quite a cool design. Unfortunately, their website isn’t…finished and there isn’t much info on the DeckPod available. It would be nice to know how much these things cost.

There were several booths showing off bikes, since there’s no more eco-friendly method of transportation than being human powered…and not like in The Matrix. These, made by Stromer, are electric and modular. They come in several different models that vary by top speed, torque and range. While really cool, I can’t really justify something like this at this price (all three models shown were roughly $4,000) when regular gas-powered scooters are much cheaper, go faster and cost $5 to fill up. Like the problem with all electric vehicles, they become useless when they need a charge and can’t until they’ve been juiced. Of course, these just become regular bicycles but with a scooter, I can just pull into a gas station and it’s ready for another 500 klicks. These are, however, some of the most polished products when it comes to e-bikes as I’ve seen. They just need to be cheaper.

Speaking of expensive electric vehicles, the Fisker Karma was in attendance. One of the only hybrid sports cars available today, the Karma pairs an rechargeable battery-powered 161-hp electric motor with a turbocharged 2.0-liter 260-hp gas engine. They start at $102,000US and for that price, you get a 0-60 of 6.3 seconds and a top speed of 125MPH. Any way you look at it…that’s slow. Well, maybe not slow but for that price, it’s slow. Consider that the Nissan GT-R is about ten grand less and will do 200MPH. Yes, it’s a hybrid but what’s the point of a hybrid sports car? You can never go fast in them since they’ll drain the battery quicker (the full range with a fully charged battery AND a full tank of gas is 370 km…which is less than my Mazda 3 on a full tank.). Maybe it’s a bit greener than a GT-R but electricity isn’t made from the meows of kittens. It has to be produced somewhere…plus making that battery probably took some work, rare materials and energy costs that exceed that of manufacturing a regular car. Get an electric car if you’re commuting to work or something but c’mon, if you’re going to spend $100k, get a real car. You’ll have more fun, save some money and the carbon footprint savings aren’t as significant as hybrid promoters would have you think. It’s quite a good looking car, though, which is more than I can say for most hybrids.

I don’t know if there was a particular reason for this but I thought the VW van converted into an ATM was cool.

There was a lot of clothing and apparel at the show as well but most of it was for women, apart from a table of cool graphic tees from a clothing brand called ThinkHead.

I caught a couple of the fashion shows as well, showing off some local designers using sustainable materials.

I found a few booths at EPIC with healthy or organic or fair trade alternatives to things I usually buy that I might try out soon but I think I’ll make those orders and try the products at home before I write about them but they all had something in common: they replaced something that exists already with a superior product that was either the same price or not much more. That made me realize something. That basically sums up the extent to which I’m willing to “go green” at this time. The problem with so many eco-friendly, carbon neutral or fair trade products is that they cost so much more than the original recipe OR they aren’t as good as the regular product.

I saw a lot of booths featuring products I saw on CBC’s Dragon’s Den, most of which were rejected for the above reasons and that’s what I think is preventing a lot of people from getting on the eco-powered bandwagon. I understand that the more people that take part, the further down the prices go but still, it’s difficult in this financial climate to convince someone to choose a green alternative that costs twice as much and isn’t quite as good a product over something made by big bad corporate America. Awareness is great and all but when it comes down to it, most of us are more concerned about the bottom line. I’m not trying to discourage, I’m just telling it like it is. Honestly, I don’t know what the solution is but identifying the problem is the first step.

Right from the second I saw the trailer for Jiro Dreams of Sushi, I knew it would be the sort of movie I enjoy. However, I avoided seeing it for a few weeks and not just because the only theater in town screening it had seats that feel like sitting on beanbag filled with pudding. I was scared, really, of how the movie would make me feel or more specifically, how nostalgic it would make me for Tokyo and all that glorious sushi I ate. I just knew that I was going to wake up in the parking lot of a Japanese restaurant face down in a pile of otoro, several hundred dollars lighter in a haze of sake and Asahi. My time living in Tokyo was nothing short of a life changing experience for me and just watching the trailer, I could see parts of the bustling metropolis that I recognized, streets I had walked by and I’m pretty sure that in one of the Tsukiji Market scenes, I could see the velvet rope outside Sushi Dai, where I lined up for hours to have sushi for breakfast…twice!

Jiro Dreams of Sushi is a documentary on Jiro Ono, the 85-year old master sushi chef at Sukiyabashi Jiro, which I believe is the only restaurant with three Michelin stars located in a subway station. Anthony Bourdain called the place “easily the best sushi experience of my life” when he filmed No Reservations there back in season 3.

There’s one thing on the menu, the omakase meal, which basically means you trust the chef to choose your courses for you according to what’s fresh that day. At about $300, it’s quite an expensive meal and unlike the marathon you’d experience at El Bulli, you’re probably done and expected to leave in under half an hour. That’s the way most in-demand sushi places are…eat quick to be courteous to those behind you in line.

The best sushi I’ve had so far in life were my meals at Sushi Dai and while that was spectacular in every way for me, I seriously doubt those guys are even half as dedicated to sushi as Jiro Ono. The movie goes through the incredibly comprehensive process and hard work that goes into everything served at Sukiyabashi Jiro. Everything from sitting over a flame, roasting seaweed by hand in a very particular way to the absolutely astonishing technique that goes into making the restaurant’s tamago or egg sushi. That’s something I really admire about the Japanese culture…that some people can dedicate themselves to their work in the absolute pursuit of perfection.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to eat at Jiro’s during my time in Japan. I put it off for awhile and by the time I went by to see if I could get a reservation, it was a busy time and it would’ve been two months before I could get one of the very few seats in the restaurant. I was scheduled to leave Japan before then. Had I known I would end up staying in Japan awhile longer, I would’ve put my name down immediately. Some people that I’ve talked to after seeing this movie think that $300 is simply too much for a sushi dinner. Personally, I agree but I’d still do it. For a once in a lifetime experience like this, $300 isn’t bad.

Just like some won’t understand why anyone would drop three bills on raw fish, Jiro Dreams of Sushi isn’t for everyone. In fact, I overheard a few people in the theater snickering, joking about the ridiculous attention to detail these men put into their craft. I get it…it’s hard for most people to wrap their heads around taking 10 years just to hold a knife properly, cook an eel or even the painstaking process of preparing something as seemingly simple as rice. It’s a radical departure from the restaurant model of many North American chains where every restaurant can cook a very wide variety of foods but nothing particularly well. The opposite is true in Japan. Many places make only one thing, have been making only that one thing for hundreds of years and you can be damn sure there are only a handful if any other places that could make that dish half as good.

Go ahead…ask a group of people in Japan where the best ramen is. It’s like asking which of iPhone or Android is better. You’ll start a holy war.

So while not everyone is going to understand, if you love sushi, Japan or both like I do, you are going to love this movie. It’s shot beautifully not only at the restaurant, capturing the everyday vibe of the world’s best sushi bar but in all the shot around Tokyo. You get the hustle of the fish market, the quiet efficiency of the metro system and the vibrant allure of the neon cityscape. I could feel it tug at my heartstrings every time there’s a shot of Jiro walking through the streets.

The sushi is captured in slow motion. I know that sounds silly but if there actual food pornography, this would be it. When the chef’s place each piece down in front of their customer, it writhes and shimmies on the dish, settling down from the pressure of the chef’s hands. You see the sheen of the tuna with all that delicious marbled fat in the otoro.

Instead of the bow-chicka-wow-wow, Jiro Dreams of Sushi is mostly scored with classical music which lends to the film’s rhythm. The pacing has it’s ebb and flow, sometimes moving quickly through the chaos and then slowing down during the quiet moments, all of which is beautifully reflected in the music. If Jiro’s food is considered art, the movie makes him out to be a maestro conducting an orchestra, making sure each morsel of food sings to it’s full potential.

I have nothing to be critical of in this movie but I understand that my relationship with Japan and with sushi makes me quite obviously biased. However, that shouldn’t take anything away from what is an astonishingly gorgeous documentary. This movie shows how beautiful food can be and the dedication that’s required to expose all the subtleties and flavors from otherwise simple ingredients of fish and rice. I highly recommend this if you have any interest in food, sushi or Japan.

Now someone hide all my credit cards before I talk to my travel agent…

Verdict: 9.0 out of 10.

There really is no way to say this without sounding like a politician but I would love to represent Richmond as the 365 Days of Dining blogger. While I will not have the power to lower taxes or fight crime, my best efforts each day would be put towards making this blog as informative, engaging and fun as possible. To be frank, I do feel like I’m the best choice for the job.

Why? It could be because I absolutely adore Richmond. I love Richmond like Ray Charles loved Georgia or that kid that 50 Cent says loves cake. Writing songs is probably out of the question since my musical talent is limited* but I could make this into a heck of a fun blog.

I’ve always said that I think Richmond is just about the best place on the planet when it comes to living. Everything is quite convenient. People are friendly. The streets are safe. Richmond is quiet when we need some quiet and fun when we want to cut loose. I know I’ve also professed my love for Japan, Germany and even parts of the United States. I know I’ve mentioned I might want to live downtown or elsewhere for awhile but Tokyo, London, Robson Street…we’re just friends. Richmond, we’re best friends. We’re family.

Whoever is selected for 365 Days of Dining is going to be representing Richmond to the world. I’m sure we’d all like to be introduced by someone that truly knows who we are rather than someone we just met.

I’m relatively well traveled and I enjoy living abroad as well. Nothing broadens your mind like experiencing other cultures and parts of the world you haven’t been. Travel is food for your soul but like revisiting old favorites such as wonton noodles or a nice, rare burger after more adventurous edibles, I always love coming back to Richmond. The mystery and allure of a foreign land may keep me away for a little while but I always know where my heart is. No matter where I happen to be, Richmond will always be my hometown and it will always proudly say so on my Facebook page.

It could be for my love for food. Although my parents tell me I was a fussy eater as a toddler, it didn’t take long for my love affair with food to begin. While other kids were watching Saved by the Bell, I would follow along with Yan Can Cook.

I figured if he could cook, so could I! Don’t get me wrong, I still watched Saved by the Bell but throughout my younger years, I idolized the chefs on Food Network. By the time I got to high school, I followed along with Emeril Lagasse (BAM!), Bobby Flay and Mario Batali. I remember watching the original Japanese Iron Chef for the first time (Battle Asparagus) and being awed by the creativity.

I love to cook. Love getting my hands, as well as several counter-tops, many dishes and much of the floor, dirty. I love knowing what goes into my food and what produces the flavors I enjoy. Food isn’t just something that keeps us alive, it’s just so much more. It can bring back the memories you thought were lost. It’s a great reason to sit down with friends for a few hours. Food can be fun. Food can tell a story. Food can be art. Some of you may be scoffing at me thinking I’m possibly exaggerating but perhaps you’ve never bit into the perfect piece of otoro, Granny Smith green apple sorbet or one of those burnt ends from The Hog Shack.

It could be because I know my way around writing, photo/video-ography and social media. I won’t profess to be the best but I know what I’m capable of and how I can grow in each area. As a combination of talents, I feel like I stack up well against the competition and I can do what it takes to make this a success not only for myself but for Richmond. Blogging isn’t going to be the only responsibility with 365 Days of Dining. This isn’t Field of Dreams where they’ll come because you built something. Traffic doesn’t appear out of thin air, it has to be generated and promoted. I’ve spent the last six years networking and digging into the local social media scene and I’ve already got ideas on audience participation as well as how I can give back to my home community.

That’s why I would absolutely be over the moon if I was chosen for this not only because I think it would be a great time, eating amazing food but because I would get to share Richmond with everyone and tell them exactly how awesome my city is.

* I know all the words to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. All of them.

Searching for a good looking laptop bag is like searching for good drivers in Richmond…they’re few and far between but they do exist. I’ve often wondered why it seems like all bags for carrying around your various technological devices look like they’re cut from the same roll of black nylon. I get it…it’s to make long-lasting products that will probably be at least somewhat weather resistant but can’t we get something a little different?

Mission Workshop out in San Francisco makes all kinds of durable, weatherproof gear for commuters, travelers and cyclists. Actually, most of their products seem to be geared toward cyclists, including sets of bike shoes but of course, riding a bike isn’t a requirement. They make a number of messenger bags and backpacks (as well as jackets) in several different sizes but since carrying a heavy load off just one shoulder isn’t very good for my back, I thought I’d try out one a Sanction rucksack.

While Mission Workshop’s focus clearly seems to be on making products that will last a long while (all products are guaranteed for a lifetime) as well as protect your stuff against the elements, I happen to really enjoy the classic look of many of their products. They’re cleanly designed with simple lines, understated, monochrome colors…other than the outlandish red/orange available for the messenger bags…and few bells or whistles. There aren’t any silly grommets, holes for headphones or cell phone pockets strewn about. Instead of cluttered, we get sleek and streamlined.

Speaking of well made, I’ve been using this bag for close to 4 months on a regular basis and it looks pretty close to when it was brand new. All Mission Workshop bags come with a lifetime warranty which covers any manufacturer defects but not regular wear and tear. However, the Sanction is very well made and shows little signs of wear. My only complain might be that the nylon material can be a little difficult to clean.

The Sanction is the smallest backpack Mission Workshop makes, measuring 12″ x 18″ x 5″ with 1000 cubic inches of storage space. There is a total of 6 compartments of various sizes. The main storage space runs the entire height of the bag, which makes for about enough space to stuff a folded up hoodie and maybe a couple other smaller objects like a camera, a book or a packed lunch.

While quite long, the bag isn’t very wide or deep. The material doesn’t have much give or stretch, which somewhat restricts what you can put in the bag. I had difficulty fitting a boxed lunch back there but this is a small bag, meant to carry just a few things for your daily commute.

The laptop sleeve opens up with a zipper along the top flap of the Sanction. It’s about the size of my 15″ Apple MacBook Pro but there’s probably enough room for a laptop of slightly larger dimensions. It might even be able to accommodate a 17″ laptop but the thickness of the pocket might not be able to handle some of the heftier ones.

The back of the sleeve (that rests against your back) is well protected. I can feel some semi-rigid plastic sewn in between the pocket and the light but adequate padding for extra shielding but only a thin layer stands between your laptop and whatever you choose to throw into the main compartment. This means if you have anything like keys or other scratchy objects in there, they could rub against your shiny laptop the wrong way. That’s unlikely since the nylon seems quite strong, like that tarp you’ve used for camping for the last 20 years, but still a little more protection for a $2000 gadget would be nice.

The front of the bag has 4 additional pockets, three smaller ones covered by the front flap, secured with weather resistant zippers and a larger one at the bottom with it’s own velcro.

While not very wide, one of the front pockets also runs the entire length of the bag, making it a good slot for your tablet. Unfortunately, there is no padding around this pocket so there isn’t much protection for that gorilla glass in the front and there isn’t much else that can think of that fits in here.

Two other zippered pockets in the front of the Sanction are considerably smaller and is probably good for smaller items like flash drives, USB cables or a small digital camera.

The front compartment lacks zippers and only has a Velcro flap keeping the elements at bay but it does the job well, keeping your laptop charger or other things you want to have handy dry. Holding things you want to have handy is probably exactly what the front compartment is for since the main pockets are protected by both their zippers and buckled straps. While this keeps your equipment secure, it can be a pain to open on the go. I also wish they didn’t go with Velcro. While convenient, opening a Velcro-ed flap in a quiet room feels like you’re disturbing everyone in the room.

At only 2.6 pounds, the Sanction is quite light, has a relatively narrow profile and sits flat on your back so moving around with it on feels like you’re wearing nothing at all. If you’re rather clumsy like I am, you don’t have to worry about knocking things over or smacking people in the face when it swings around.

The shoulder straps are wide but lightly padded. As I mentioned, there isn’t a whole lot of padding in the back either but fortunately, the Sanction is small enough that it still comfortable even when full. The buckle that attaches the two shoulder straps together is enough to carry the load easily but you can also get a waist strap from Mission Workshop for $30.

Since the Sanction is touted as an all-weather bag, I thought I’d test whether that means waterproof or water resistant.

In my not-very-scientific test, I stuffed a microfiber cloth into one of the smaller pockets, zipped it up and ran it under the sink for 5 minutes, making sure to run the tap over the seams and the zipper. The cloth should show any wet spots if any water got through.

That looks pretty waterproof to me. Notice the water beading and running off without soaking into the material.

No visible wet spots and the cloth is still dry to the touch. If it can handle being in my sink, it should be able to take a little rain easily.

The Mission Workshop Sanction has a few minor flaws but all around, it’s good looking, well made and built to handle the elements. It can be a little too small but if you find that to be the case, Mission Workshop makes two larger backpacks made to the same specs. Quality, of course, comes at a price and at $179, the Sanction isn’t cheap but well within the range of better quality laptop bags. The Booq bag I was using previously to haul my 15″ MacBook Pro was around the same price.

So if you’re looking for a new backpack that doesn’t look like a laptop bag, will last you a long time and protect your gear against Mother Nature, then you might be looking for a bag from Mission Workshop.

Top Gear is already pretty awesome. In this episode alone, James May drove a Ferrari 250 California (absolutely gorgeous), Richard Hammond drove the new BMW M5 and with Jeremy Clarkson, they got into rallycross for less than the cost of golf.

Therefore, I don’t know how they got the time to fit in legendary Guns ‘n Roses guitar god Slash into the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. He isn’t very quick around the track, as demonstrated by a very slow 1:49 but damn, can that guy rock…

I often wonder where all the people that blogged around the same time I started have disappeared to. If you look through the early days of this blog, you’ll notice quite a few links to sites that no longer exist or occupied only by tumbleweeds. Many dropped off after a life changing event such as Stephen Fung, who hasn’t written a post in almost a year after his daughter was born. Others moved on to different blogs. Still others simply felt burned out and left their sites to rust. In fact, the only person from my early days of blogging almost six years ago that still does so with clockwork regularity is Michael Kwan, but that’s just Kwan being Kwan.

I used to think that the burn out was silly, especially when some were quitting around year three when I was just hitting my stride but it happens to everyone. I took a few breaks and stopped blogging daily after ‘08 and then moved to a weekly/monthly schedule. While daily is probably too much, I couldn’t stick to a monthly since it was just too easy to forget about it altogether.

But it seems that this break has been long enough. I haven’t posted much since early November, which is probably a result of having to focus some of my energy elsewhere lately but still, I’ve been gone long enough. I’ll be blogging regularly again at all my various blogs, probably keeping a flexible schedule of a few times a week. I’m hoping to write about 5 posts total for my personal blog, my food blog and Canucks Hockey Blog per week, which seems like a reasonable pace.

But more importantly, I want to get back to when blogging was just a lot of fun and doing it with a lot of great people back in the day made it even better. We’ve all moved on. I mean, I was 23 when I started this and now I’m approaching 30 so we’re all different as people but I wouldn’t mind catching up with old friends, maybe getting a few back into this wacky thing we do.

If only you could change the world by sitting around wearing a funny hat…

I’ve resisted writing anything in particular about #OccupyVancouver for a long time but since the city keeps delaying when it will evict the squatters from the Vancouver Art Gallery, I thought I should say my part. I mean, according to some polls, 75% of Vancouver agrees with me, I don’t know what the city council is waiting for. I probably should’ve written several posts over the course of the weeks rather than one enormous essay…but here we go anyways.

I went to Occupy Vancouver on that first day and listened for a good few hours. While I was in disagreement with some of the #OccupyWallStreet, I could see why this sort of thing made sense in America. People were losing their homes due to banks giving people mortgages they couldn’t afford, the economy was low and unemployment was high. People couldn’t afford the health care they needed while they were sick for jobs where they couldn’t afford to miss days being sick. It made sense. While their strategies to solve these problems were a little too extreme left for me, I recognize that these problems exist and that the America that prospered pre-2008 was in a world of hurt financially. To make things worse, the working class are the ones who are suffering while many of the rich get wealthy.

So let me tell you where you lost me and why Occupy Vancouver is massive waste of money, resources and time.

For the most part, none of those things happened in Canada or Vancouver. Canadian banks avoided the sub-prime lending that broke America. You can’t really get a so-called NINJA mortgage here in Canada, as we have strict lending criteria rather than just handing mortgages out like free samples at Costco. Our banks were affected because the American economy takes up a good chunk of the global pie. In Canada, for the most part, the economy has remained rather steady. Few people are losing their homes due to bad mortgages and while the housing market here in Vancouver is expensive, we are one of the most livable cities in the world and demand simply dictates higher prices one way or another.

Still, I thought if someone was really convincing at Occupy Vancouver, I might see the point. I may have arrived a few minutes late that first day but I don’t think I missed much. It took literally hours for the assembly to figure out how to speak to crowd and in the end, the only conclusion was that using a microphone was better than repeated yelling. In their zeal to include everyone in the discussion, more time was spent finding translators for every single language on the planet. While I have no doubt that the multicultural crowd spoke many languages, I have a hard time believing there were many that spoke some of the more obscure ones and not a word of English, evidenced by the lack of people that spoke up for several of those jobs. I saw a man with an enormous beard and wondered if he was clean shaven when Occupy Vancouver started.

Occupy Vancouver tried so hard to be heard that they forgot to actually say something. That about sums up not only for those first few hours but pretty much all of Occupy Vancouver.

The real issues were quickly pushed aside as the sheer lunacy shouted over them. There were all flavors of crazy up there that day including people that didn’t believe in money, 9/11 and Zeitgeist theorists, animal rights activists, and a guy that played the saxophone that was running for mayor (more on him in a second). Look, there are some parts of Occupy Vancouver that are within reason but it is by far drowned out by the Baskin-Robbins of crazy. Free heroin? A “maximum” wage?! An investigation into the events behind 9/11?! C’mon…if you want the city to listen to real issues then you have to filter some of the wackier ones.

I mean, what’s with that saxophone guy that calls himself the “Saxmaniac” (can’t make this stuff up…) running for mayor? I made zero sense of his speech up there that first day and it seemed like much of the crowd had the same reaction as he was booed off stage for taking too much time rambling on about his crazy. If that wasn’t enough, he wandered onstage at the mayoral debate shouting at the other candidates while holding a stuffed red lobster (seriously, can’t make this stuff up). But what really got me was that at the Remembrance Day parade at Victory Square last Saturday, he BOOED. No, really…this man booed someone onstage at an event that honors men and women that served our country. When he wasn’t heckling the speakers, he was talking loudly while people were speaking, asking “Is this over yet?” and other sarcastic comments. If it wasn’t already rather obvious that he won’t be our next mayor, I don’t think I could say enough in hopes of discouraging you from voting for him this Saturday.

It didn’t help that the majority of the Occupy crowd was carrying smartphones. I saw one Occupy supporter with a Marc Jacobs bag and a good number of the crowd volunteered their mobile devices for tethering when a speaker asked if anyone could lend the local media their Wi-Fi. How much does the system really need to change when 50% of the people that claim they’re being oppressed by the upper class can afford a $30 a month option on their smartphone plan? The whole thing smelled of entitlement and arts students looking for any cause at all to protest. I would know as I was an arts student myself and every single year, there are those that came to our classes to rally us for causes that most of us couldn’t be bothered with.

It also didn’t help that a lot of the people at the protests had no idea what they were protesting. More than just a few times, I overheard whispers of “So what the heck is all this about?” and such. I even saw a sign that said something like “I don’t know what this is for but I’m protesting!”. You have to admit that the whole “We are the 99%” is a brilliant stroke of advertising, giving the #Occupy movement a catchphrase that so many can relate to but the thing is, it sucked it a lot of people that are just there because it’s the protest du jour and hipsters that think they’ve found the new edgy thing to do ironically.

And it REALLY didn’t help that there is just so much hypocrisy surrounding the whole Occupy Vancouver movement. I’m not just talking about those decked in Abercrombie talking on their iPhones while chugging a frappuccino. I’m talking about those who say they’re standing up for free speech while rudely interrupting others while they’re speaking. Or maybe since the movement criticizes the media for misrepresenting facts, misleading the public or just plain lying when they themselves do the same thing. A speaker last Saturday was telling a small gathering of occupiers that the police were afraid of them so they brought in the police chiefs and fire chiefs from other nearby municipalities (“big wigs” he said) to put out the “sacred fire”. The Occupy Vancouver people have blown things out of proportion themselves in order to make themselves seem more significant and controversial to get more attention. “Look at me! I’m so badass the police are after us!” like a 17-year old trying to impress a girl.

I mean, I can’t think of any other reason why anyone would claim that two occupiers were kidnapped by a black, unmarked van with no evidence other than “trusted sources” and tell me that I can’t prove her wrong because I have no evidence that says two people WEREN’T kidnapped. This is the kind of logic that seems to flow around Occupy Vancouver that just boggles my mind. For a movement that criticizes mainstream media so much, some sure seem to model themselves after another publications that cites “trusted sources”, The National Enquirer.

And then there’s the drugs. I’m not going to argue with you about marijuana as it is so accepted in Vancouver that I sort of expect it everywhere and Occupy Vancouver isn’t an exception. However, when people start overdosing and dying, then we have a problem. Occupier like to say that this happens in the DTES often and that John and Jane Does found dead on those blocks of Vancouver don’t make the news every day. True but we aren’t looking to the DTES for leadership either. I’m not asking people with needles in their arms how they think Canada should be run because all they’ll end up with on their demands list is “Free heroin.”…oh wait…

My point is…I don’t know how you expect us to take you seriously with all this going on. As far as I and many others are concerned, Occupy Vancouver is a failure. You can say it started conversation and awareness all you want but the fact of the matter is over half a million dollars of taxpayer money went into this along with what must be hundreds of hours of city workers cleaning up and police keeping the peace at all hours. For what? What’s been done since a month ago? We don’t even see a list of demands. The movement has no focus. How can you expect change in society when you don’t really know what you want? With no leadership, the city has no idea who to negotiate with or how they could even get started on getting anything going. They don’t have to look at any of the issues you raised since you didn’t raise any in particular so they have all the time in the world to think up how to get you out of there. Evidence? How much of the political debate these days involves whether or not to evict Occupy Vancouver and how much is dedicated to the issues OV raised such as what REALLY happened on 9/11?

Occupy Vancouver has wasted our time and money. Some businesses in the surrounding area (such as the Re-Up BBQ food cart) have either seen a decrease in traffic and sales while others simply don’t want to deal with their unruly neighbors any more. I was sitting in the A&W getting a root beer on Saturday when an Occupier strolled in holding a large Tupperware container of food and demanding that the service staff let her use the washroom, shouting it while walking in. When they said there was already someone in there and that she would have to wait until that person got out, the woman stormed out, shouting “#*%& YOU!” at the surprised people behind the counter.

That sort of sums up Occupy Vancouver and protesters in general…the sense of entitlement they have that other people need to give them something they somehow deserve. A&W was in no way obligated to allow that woman to use their washroom when she hadn’t purchased anything and even then…they weren’t denying her the washroom, just that she had to wait, but still, that simply wasn’t good enough for the Occupier. I’m not part of this ultra-rich 1% but at the same time, I’m not mad at their success and I don’t feel like the rich owe me anything. I don’t want them to pay my way through school or contribute toward my debt. I try to figure out how I can get to that 1% rather than crying about how unfair it is. I don’t think most rich people are rich by accident. They’ve made decisions, gotten necessary training and are good at what they do. Yes, there’s injustice in how the cast of Jersey Shore is rich since I’m almost sure at least half of them would be dead by now if they weren’t on TV…but I’m not going to hate on the success of the Jobs, Gates, and Buffetts of the world who have earned their place in the world. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has done more for the developing world than all the weekend hippies in Vancouver combined. The real 99% are those who worry about having food and clean water every day…not those who complain they can’t afford an Xbox because they have to pay off student loans.

Alright, so maybe not everyone there is like that but the entitlement comment stands. Protesting in itself is just that to me, especially something like Occupy Vancouver. It says to me “I don’t want to do anything but sit in this tent all day until YOU change something that I want changed.” That’s all a protest is…it’s a temper tantrum until they get what they want. If Occupy Vancouver really wanted to make a difference, they would put together some leadership and form a political party…preferably without people like the Saxmaniac at the helm. Think about what sitting around at the art gallery does…do you really expect anyone to say “Maybe we should listen to the guys sitting in those tents all day.”?

It seems in recent days that someone at Occupy Vancouver has woken up and attempted to filter out the nutjobs, denounce drug use and try to put something that resembles a list of demands together. I think it’s great that they’ve taken advice and sorted their stuff out but it just might be too late. I thought it was silly and doomed from that first day that took four hours before anyone brought up something that wasn’t translators or human microphones. You’ve had your fun, Occupy Vancouver…it’s about time we got all this silliness packed up before Vancouver has another embarrassment on it’s hands.

I know this isn’t a movie or a restaurant or something else you might expect me to write about on my personal blog and while I might not be a professional (or even amateur) athlete by any stretch of the imagination, I’m probably just as qualified as anyone to give you a real world, actual person review of a shirt like this.

Why? Well, first of all, I’m a born and raised Canadian kid and therefore, I’m built for the cold. I can go outside in the show with a t-shirt and a windbreaker and I’ll be fine but put me anywhere upward of 25 degrees Celsius and you can cue the complaints about the heat within the first ten minutes. I don’t wear anything but these sorts of shirts that are designed to keep you cool at the gym and I’ll seldom wear anything else when I’m traveling. During my Japan trip three years ago, despite being in one of the fashion capitals of the world, I couldn’t wear any of the great clothes I bought since it was damn near 40 degrees out so I needed to wear something appropriate to keep myself from melting in the heat of that rising sun, usually moving quickly on foot carrying 25 pounds of camera equipment on my back. Sure, maybe this particular shirt was designed with someone like Ryan Kesler in mind and while I don’t think I do anything as strenuous as playing 20 minutes in an NHL game, activities like climbing a mountain in Kamakura to see a giant Buddha statue or navigating the streets of Vancouver in the midst of rioters, tear gas, fire and chaos is tough work too.

I’m not exactly sure if they’ve hit the American market yet but Firstar is gaining some ground here in Canada. I can see the appeal…they’re a thoroughly Canadian company and the marketing features the likes of Kesler and James Reimer, who undoubtedly appeal to the target audience of Canadian, hockey-crazed masses. I pass by the Firstar office in Richmond almost every day and hear the commercials on our local radio station often but if I’m honest, I’ve relied on a couple of the other brands for so long that I like to stick to what I know. That being said, I was excited to take their new shirt for a spin when they asked. I buy plenty of similar shirts already. All the better if I know I’m buying from a company that’s located just down the street from my house. They mailed me one of their latest Triple Threat shirts about 6 weeks ago. What do I think of it?

The Triple Threat is made of 92% polyester and 8% spandex, available in a number of different colors. Mine is black with red accents on the sides of the torso. Since it’s probably going to be worn underneath a hockey jersey or something else most of the time, I personally don’t think the styling is all that important but it does look good and functional without getting silly like some others have with weird camouflage and the like. So when you do wear it to work out at the gym, you’ll look like a person rather than a peacock.

This particular shirt is a tighter, compression fit. Even though it’s a large, if this wasn’t made of stretchy synthetic fabric, it would be more of a small and I’d need a shoehorn to get in it. For example, pre-stretch, the shirt is about 2/3s as wide at my shoulders. However, it does fit quite nicely. It’s snug without feeling tight. I’m guessing this is what Firstar calls T3 Technology, which “reduces the muscle fatigue caused by clothing’s restrictions of the body’s movement.” Even though the shirt is snug, I didn’t feel like it was preventing me from a full range of motion.

The fabric is very thin and breathable. As stupid sexy Ned Flanders would say, it feels like you’re wearing nothing at all…nothing at all…nothing at all! While some other athletic shirts have vented sections with tiny holes for extra breath-ability, the Triple Threat is the same throughout but still feels very cool. My only real complaint about the feel of the shirt is that the stitched seams on the inside are quite pronounced and stick out while other sportswear companies have made it a point to keep the seams as minimal as possible to keep in the side of the shirt smooth.

I know this sounds like a nit-pick but these shirts are designed for movement and having those threads rub against your torso repeatedly can get irritating with all the friction. Just ask marathon runners what they have to do to their nipples before a race.

Firstar shirts use something called MST Microfibre Technology, which is their moisture wicking solution. I don’t know if I’m the person to explain the science behind it so if you want to know, click here.

Wearing regular cotton shirts and playing sports means you’ll have a heavy, sweaty shirt afterwards. Wearing something like the Triple Threat basically helps that sweat evaporate more quickly, keeping you drier and cooler, since body heat is lost in the process of boiling your sweat away. So it stands to reason that the quicker this happens, the better you feel during whatever it is you’re doing.

This is quite an arbitrary thing to test but the Triple Threat did a good job at the gym. After a 30 minute run, I still felt relatively cool and dry. After my bike ride and weights, I was getting sweaty but still felt relatively cool and as comfortable as I was going to get after a long workout. That’s not an easy thing to do, really…especially if you’re as sensitive to heat as I am. I’ve had shirts that were nothing more than fancy technology names on plain polyester shirts that do nothing. You know when you’re wearing something designed for activity and the Triple Threat does a good job.

The Triple Threat also features something called BACT-OUT, which apparently kills 99.9% of fungi and bacteria in the fabric.

When you sweat, your body is releasing water, sodium chloride, potassium, fatty acids with the chemical odorants 2-methylphenol (o-cresol) and 4-methylphenol (p-cresol). When these micro particles interact with your body’s outer bacterial skin layer, a strong odour can often be detected. As the particles are solid and are not removed as the water evaporates, Lycra (rubber), used in most performance materials, absorbs and embeds these particles at the microscopic level and, as rubber repels water when washed, a portion of the smell can never be removed. Over time this smell builds up until the garment must be discarded. BACT-OUT ensures your garments maintain their fresh smell longer.

Eeewwww. I’m not a chemistry major anymore so I can’t (and don’t want to…) put this to the test so I’ll just have to take your word for it, Firstar. I try not to smell my gym clothes afterwards but it’s nice to know this is something built into the clothing.

The short sleeve version of the Triple Threat is $49.99 while the long sleeve will set you back another $5 (prices in Canadian Dollars), which is on par with other similar products depending on where you’re buying them and what brand. I’m not a professional athlete so perhaps I won’t notice the finer details but the Triple Threat performs as well as my favorite polyester, moisture wicking shirts. I will say that I do really enjoy the fit as it’s not quite as tight as a compression fit but isn’t a loose fitting shirt either. Like the third bowl of porridge, it’s just right in allowing you to breathe and move but keeping the shirt in contact with as much of your body as possible to get sweat evaporate quickly.

The Triple Threat is a good shirt if you’re looking for a bottom layer under your equipment and jersey or if you’re looking for something to work out in. How comfortable it is for you will probably be unique to you but the fit is great for me. I might try to grab a long sleeve one for a base layer for snowboarding season.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might know that I’m traveling for the next two weeks in the Caribbean. I’m currently in San Juan, Puerto Rico…swimming in the warm, blue Atlantic waters and sitting on the beach with drinks that have miniature umbrellas.

I thought about renting a car but after going by taxi for a couple days, I’ve realized how bad of an idea that is. I’m not a scared driver on the road by any means. I believe the only way to drive is fast and slow is for the weak but here…well, there’s no discernible traffic laws as far as I can tell. There’s very few ways to tell if the street you’re on is one way other than if there are a lot of angry motorists coming the other way. I don’t know how the right of way works here because I’ve seen several people merge into the tiniest of gaps in traffic and I am almost sure that turn signals are for decoration only. In Vancouver, you could get arrested for talking on the phone while driving but here, every bus driving I see has his cell at his ear and ironically, there’s a sign saying you should never speak to the bus driver while he’s driving…I’m sure that’s just because it would be rude to interrupt his phone conversation.

Things move slowly here and no one seems to mind. I thought I was rather laid back already but apparently waiting 45 minutes for food isn’t uncommon. Gordon Ramsay would explode if he ran one of these kitchens. That and the bus I mentioned before just gets there when they feel like it. I don’t see any sort of bus schedule and even if there was one, they’re guaranteed to be late so your choices for transportation are either incredibly slow and unreliable or what can only be described as certain death. Jaywalkers just walk out into the streets and hold out their hands to tell cars to stop. That would never fly in Vancouver, where pedestrians are only a small step above cyclists when it comes to people we give a crap about when we’re behind the wheel.

That being said, this place is gorgeous. Despite the heat and humidity, it isn’t seriously uncomfortable and there’s cheap beers, sorbet and other things to cool you down for a buck or two everywhere. There’s good reason this place is one of the most traveled places in the Caribbean.

Spend any amount of time around me and you’ll quickly find that in terms of humor, I’m not very easily offended. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m of the belief that taking offense from jokes just means you take things too seriously. I’m more offended by jokes that simply aren’t funny. If you can find humor in uncomfortable subject matter, then I just can’t see that as wrong. Laughter is a good thing. It’s one part of human life that sets us apart from our animal counterparts. Maybe except the aardvark. Nothing can be named aardvark without being hilarious. That and dogs that look like Chewbacca.

Louis C.K. is one of those comics that really straddles the edge of funny and just plain wrong. I think I first saw Louis C.K.’s standup some time last year after a friend sent me a couple of YouTube clips of his routine. I had heard of him before but never really bothered to look him up. If you’re familiar with his work, then you’ll undoubtedly know what I’m on about but if you aren’t, do a search on YouTube. Maybe not if you’re the sort of person that writes in to complain when someone inadvertently drops an F-bomb or when Janet Jackson can’t keep control over her nipples…as I’m almost sure bits like “The N-Word” will make you throw up in your mouth.

His TV show, Louie, is somewhat of an anomaly as Louis C.K. has almost complete creative control over the show. According to Wikipedia, the show is shot on a RED camera setup and is edited on C.K.’s Macbook Pro. That’s amazing considering how other TV shows employ armies just to make sure the credits scroll properly. It’s a different sort of comedy show with no real structure and the only cast member that shows up in every episode is Louie himself. It seems like the sort of show that C.K. wanted to make and would not be able to if he was controlled by network executives trying to squeeze that extra bit out of the ratings.

It’s a weird show and a lot of it is unexpected. There’s segments of Louis C.K.’s standup at a comedy club weaved in between scenes that reflect his life as a comic and as a recently divorced single father of two girls trying to get back into the world. That’s the quiet portion of the show, which actually happens more often than not. Despite the sort of things Louie says about how much being a parent sucks, it is immediately evident how much he loves his children and how hard he’s trying to be a good father. The things the show says are actually quite profound statements about life, love, and happiness but then it reminds us what kind of show this is with fart, penis and butt jokes just when you’re appreciating the warm fuzzies.

The show just feels very authentic and genuine, like you’re observing an actual moment rather than seeing a show on TV. It’s all actually very well done and brings a sort of strange, artsy feel to some of the dirtiest jokes you’ve ever heard. It might make you see some situations (like with mobile phones, for example) in a different light. I know I find myself agreeing with him a lot on a lot of subjects like censorship, violence and human rights. That’s why this is a great show…there’s still tons of laughs but it’s about more than just the comedy.

I’m still not quite sure what the benefits of having a personal landing page are but after seeing a few familiar faces using free services from some specialized personal landing page sites, I decided to make one of my own. If nothing else, it will give me a URL I can put on business cards that I probably won’t need to change and shows my entire presence on the internet. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve handed out cards but had to add “Oh, but my food blog is here.” at foodie events or “But I also write for Canucks Hockey Blog.” at tweetups. Instead, I can just hand them a card that directs to a site where all my online stuff is.

That and I have to admit, I thought up a somewhat clever domain name (edlauis.me) and registered it on a whim. I don’t like using free services since I think that’s like using Blogspot or Blogger or even Wordpress to host my blog rather than having my own URL. I also thought it would be fun to learn how to write a website from scratch using lines of HTML and CSS code rather than having it all done for me with Wordpress.

What do you think? O

I wanted to write my review of this summer’s Michael Bay blockbuster and the last (I think) of the Michael Bay/Shia The Beef incarnation of the Transformers franchise later…after I had seen it again…as a half-way decent, not-that-shaky camera rip I found on the internet. Let me explain why.

Transformers has a special place in my heart. I loved the toys, I enjoyed the TV shows and generally, I associate it with pleasant parts of my childhood. However, I’ve never really gotten on board with the movies. The first one I sort of enjoyed because it was a Transformers movie but I couldn’t stand the cheesy dialogue. I’ve always thought Michael Bay just states the obvious…and the movie really does with lines like “One must stand and one must fall.” sort of garbage. That’s probably why I hated the second movie so much. While the first movie had cool set pieces, fun action sequences, a little good humor and shots of Megan Fox bending over a Camero, the second was full of stupid one-liners, blatant racism and all the fights were jumbles of scrap metal tumbling too fast for anyone to see.

I had no reason to think Dark of the Moon was any different and it really isn’t but I have to say, I spent the entire movie with my eyes wide open behind two pairs of glasses (the 3D ones, which were Scotch-taped to my own. No, really.) yelling “WOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!” as one of the movie’s thousands of explosions. Honestly, I can’t remember a more spectacular looking movie since I saw Avatar. It was like staring directly into Michael Bay’s head, where I’m sure all of his thought processes have explosions and low sweeping camera angles. This is the sort of movie that Michael Bay makes when he isn’t hindered by silly things like gravity, reality or history books.

But like Avatar, without the visual flash, the movie isn’t a particularly good one. I mean, I haven’t bothered to watch Avatar since the time I saw it in IMAX 3D. There’s really no point since the movie isn’t very good without the effects. It’s like a peacock without the plumage…just not very interesting.

The script is convoluted, confusing, poorly written and the entire first half of the movie is irrelevant by the time the second hour rolls along. Watching it again without the big screen just emphasizes the movie’s flaws. Inevitably, you will come across that moment where you think to yourself “Wait…why didn’t they just ?” or “Oh come on…no one would EVER do !” because there’s no way a logical human being would stand around with her hair blowing in the wind as things blow up around her.

Speaking of which, Rosie Huntington-Whitely replaces Megan Fox in this third film for reasons that I could care less about because it isn’t like Megan Fox brings anything but hotness to the table. It’s hard to complain when the movie begins with what is basically a five minute sequence of Bay’s Victoria’s Secret footage that never made it to the commercials but it’s hard to think of her as anything but eye candy in this film since all of her scenes feel like they should be accompanied with Bay standing over your shoulder, pointing at the screen and yelling “She’s HOT! Look at how HOT she is!” in your ear. No, really…that’s her entire role in Dark of the Moon but that really could be said of all the humans in Transformers who are all rather replaceable, interchangeable and forgettable.

Actually, now that I think about it, most of the robots are insignificant as well. Other than the main players like Optimus, Megatron, Bumblebee, and a few others, most of the rest look the same and unless you’re a huge Transformers nerd fan, you aren’t even going to know their names. Most of the time, I had to lean over and ask my buddy who many of the indistinguishable piles of metal were. “Oh, so that’s Shockwave? Wait…which one is Soundwave, then!?” The original cartoon versions were always very easy to tell who’s who but in this movie and the previous one…why do all the Decepticons look the same?

The real star of the show is Michael Bay, who has someone managed to make a movie I absolutely hate but love at the same time. Seeing this film in the theater was just amazing. The visual effects are incredible and the CG is actually quite seamless when you consider how much of the movie takes place on a motherboard somewhere. However, even the best Michael Bay movie is still a Michael Bay movie. Also, I’m not sure if this was the case in the first two movies but I thought this was a much more violent movie than before. People actually die and the robots fight in a really brutal way, tearing each other’s parts off and spraying blood or motor oil or whatever everywhere. If the Transformers were made of flesh and blood, this would be more like Saw than Transformers.

None of the dialogue makes sense. None of the scenes seem to play out in a logical order. None of the characters are close to believable. You walk out of the theater thinking “THAT LOOKED AWESOME!” but also “…wait, what just happened for damned near 3 hours!?”. Bay’s storytelling is not as much storytelling as it is taking a story and using it as an excuse to make things blow up. Who needs narrative when we have guns, robots and pretty girls, right? Oh, and the ending is one of the worst I’ve seen in movies. I know that sounds harsh but it’s made worse by how abruptly the movie ends. Right then, it will hit you how awful the whole thing really was. Pretty, but awful.

Dark of the Moon is pointless…about as pointless as movies get…but it’s fun. I tried to write this review without saying “…for some reason” but that’s what you’re going to find yourself saying a lot of the time to explain the plot. I actually recommend you watch it but do so in a theater in 3D (the 3D is actually not terrible this time) or on a 60+ inch TV. I can live with it if it’s on a big screen but otherwise, it’s about as pleasant as eating your own hair.

Verdict: 6.5 out of 10

I’m not a huge Harry Potter fan. I’ve never read the books and have only seen each movie a single time a piece. I mean, I enjoyed four of them, I think while three others were rather forgettable. I can see the appeal of the books but they’re just not my cup of tea. However, since I got to see this movie a day early, I thought I had to write something for it.

It’s funny to see the huge transition between this film and the first where the heroes were half their current size. Overall, I think the Harry Potter series is a real achievement in film…a true eight-part series where the movies can stand alone but aren’t really complete unless they’re all watched together. I don’t think any other series has ever gone this long with true sequels. I mean, James Bond has gone on for over 20 movies but only the hero’s name has remained the same throughout. You can easily watch one and not the others but with Harry Potter, that would be just confusing. Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is unrelenting in the fact that it’s a second part to a larger film. If you haven’t seen Deathly Hallows, Part 1, then there’s very little in ways of recaps and too bad if you don’t get it.

The 8th movie finds the Harry Potter universe divided with Harry, Hermione and Ron hunting down various trinkets called horcruxes and the forces of evil led by Voldemort hunting them down and doing the usual world domination plan. Unlike the first movies that had a more cheerful and whimsical tone, Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is very dark and morose with lots of death and violence. Previous movies had some very moody moments and big battles as well but they were slotted in with scenes of the kids learning magic in classrooms or playing quidditch. I know this is the end of the books and it’s supposed to be the most “mature” of the series but it’s a bit of a bummer to see everyone wear frowns the whole time.

But I get it. We had our fun with previous movies and there has to be resolution somewhere. This had been a bit of a coming of age series but by the 8th movie, the kids had grown up and have to deal with…well, what they call real life. Unfortunately, I think that’s why this movie doesn’t work for me as a movie and why I’m sure I would absolutely hate this book if I actually read it.

While I could deal with the deux ex machina resolutions in previous movies where everyone is saved by things that happen with little or no reasonable explanation, things have built up so much by the time this last film rolled around that it deserved better. I mean, the owner of the Deathly Hallows was supposed to be the Master of Death and that really doesn’t come to fruition. J.K Rowlings built up the inevitable and only way Harry could defeat Voldemort and I thought that a little silly as well. Basically, it’s a whole lot of “oh, this happened because it did.”, hiding behind the fact that so little of the magic is explained that they can just make it up on the fly…and at times, I thought they had.

Deathly Hallows, Part 2 is well made, well shot and has very good performances by an all-star cast. I mean, behind Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint there are greats like Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman to name just a few. Ralph Fiennes, I thought, dominates the movie as a frightening Voldemort. Everyone else only shows up from time to time or in certain cases, for little more than extended cameos but Voldemort’s presence is felt even when he isn’t on screen. Helena Bonham Carter gives hilarious crazy eyes every time she’s on screen.

Some of the set pieces are very entertaining and the battles are very well done, with a great sense of scale and grandeur. I always thought that the fighting in the whole Harry Potter series is rather boring. They say it’s magic but really, they’re just fighting with guns shaped like sticks. Think about it…they’re just zapping each other with lasers most of the time. I would really prefer some actual magic…and you get hints of that here and there in the films but 90% of the time, they’re flinging glowing balls of light poop at each other.

I will say this though…the movie is very good at pulling your heartstrings. Even for someone with very little invested in these characters, I could feel their pain. I could see the heroism that boils inside some of them and I understood why they are willing to do what they do. The emotional part of the movie keeps it simple and unlike the plot or the magic or the lore, everyone can understand fighting to defend their loved ones. Everyone can appreciate sacrifice and honor.

Maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan and haven’t spent hours reading wikis, learning about the Harry Potter world but I’ve always felt like not enough is explained. Even when things are, it’s usually after something important happens and nothing more about why it happened is said other than that’s just the way it is. I get why people go crazy for this sort of thing and I really enjoyed some of the Harry Potter movies but this last act isn’t one of them. As a movie, it is spectacular…worthy of the summer blockbuster label but as a story or rather the end of a very, very long story, it just falls short for me.

Verdict: 7.0 out of 10

I was only able to make it to a few of the CCFCC 2011 events because I had a load of scheduling conflicts (the President’s Ball was at the same time as Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals…) but I’m glad I managed to get to the ones I did. I didn’t get downtown to ride the Canada Line with everyone else but since lunch at The Rain Flower Restaurant was located in Richmond, I made it in time for the Dragon Feast of the Century. No, we didn’t eat any dragons. Yes, I was a bit disappointed at that too.

Usually at these events, I’m seated with other members of the local media, most of whom I’m pretty familiar with by now but this time, I found myself at a table full of young chefs from Vancouver Community College. It was an interesting time. We shared some laughs and talked food. However, I was surprised at how much each of them refused to eat. I thought that chef’s would at least have a taste of everything to give it a shot. Weirds me out a little that people working in the food industry would not eat fish or crab…but I digress.

I’m not really familiar with the “15 Dragon Chefs” but according to the CCFCC, they are:

Chef Chi Ling Tam –Executive Chef of Golden Swan Seafood Restaurant
Chef Wing Kuen Wu – Executive Chef of Rain Flower Seafood Restaurant
Chef Tony Luk – Executive Chef of Jade Seafood Restaurant
Chef Sam Leung – Executive Chef at Dynasty Seafood Restaurant
Chef Mike Kin On Li –Executive Chef at Imperial Seafood Restaurant
Chef Kent Wong –Head Chef of Imperial Seafood Restaurant
Chef Henry Yu—Executive chef at Dragon View Seafood Restaurant
Chef Ho Lim Cho – Executive of Floata Seafood Restaurant
Chef Garley Leung – Master Dim Sum Chef Dynasty Seafood Restaurant
Chef Jian Ming Lai –Dim Sum Head Chef, Rain Flower Seafood Restaurant
Chef Peter Chen –Dim Sum Head Chef, Golden Swan Seafood Restaurant
Chef Siu Kuen Wong –Chef, Shiang Garden Restaurant
Chef Chun Ming Huang –Executive Sous Chef, Shiang Garden Seafood Restaurant
Chef Patrick Mo –Executive Chef, Black Sheep Pub & Restaurant

Our first course for lunch was an appetizer plate with a duo of drunken squab breast and Nanjing style arctic char. The white balls with black dots are dragon fruit…very sweet and delicate tasting. The arctic char is left pink, almost raw in the center and served cold. Almost everyone at the table agreed it was delicious along with the drunken squab breast, which had quite an intense amount of alcohol in it and also served cold.

Crab and lobster for lunch?! Sign me up! The next course was a dungeness crab and lobster in jade purse. A jade purse is a vegetable leaf holding the lobster and crab meat together, letting all those juices intermingle and soak in. It’s hard to not make crab or lobster taste good but this was another exceptional dish with loads of flavor in there. My only complaint was that the temperature was a bit tepid but since they were serving 30-40 tables at the same time, I can understand.

Temperature was much more of a problem with the next dish, a braised Fraser Valley duck breast, empress style. The duck is served on beds of tofu with a mix of mushrooms. Unfortunately, the duck breast was cold and dry along with the tofu and mushrooms so it wasn’t particularly pleasant. The duck tasted alright and the mushrooms were earthy and crunchy but all together, it didn’t work.

This is called a tenderloin teaser in filigree cup. It’s chunks of beef served with asparagus, peppers and pineapple…classic flavor combos, lightening up the richness and peppery beef with fruity sweetness and crunch.

The next dish was this yin yang steamed eggplant, which did not win over many people at our table even though many of us said we love eggplant. Ours was a bit overdone and mushy, the outer skin was quite tough and overall, everything was a little too salty. Like a couple previous dishes, it might’ve been better if there was a bit more heat.

Our last course was a seafood siu bang, which literally translates as seafood roasted biscuit. The pastry was light and crispy, filled with a creamy, mayo-like sauce and chunks of seafood. I didn’t get much seafood in mine but it was warm, toasty and actually quite good.

Dessert was a longevity date cake, a sort of jello-like dish with a light, fruity flavor with a hint of tea. We all enjoyed it but thought it could’ve been better. Personally, I would love to see someone do a modern take on this stuff…maybe serving it warm with a cookie and some vanilla ice cream like a sort of Asian apple pie.

It was a good lunch at The Rain Flower but I was a little put off by how much they were charging people for drinks, even $3-4 for generic bottled water or regular Chinese tea. I know we’re eating courtesy of the conference but I don’t ever remember paying $5 for a pot of tea.

Looking forward to next year. I’ll mark the days off my calendar when I find out when CCFCC 2012 is.

I was lucky enough to receive an invitation to the Canadian Culinary Federation conference this year, a week long event full of seminars with esteemed chefs as speakers and receptions featuring some great food. Unfortunately, there were a couple of scheduling conflicts with the Vancouver Canucks playoff run so I couldn’t go to everything but I did get the chance to taste some amazing dishes and meet some interesting people in the industry.

The first thing you see when you get in the door is a massive ice sculpture. There were actually several large ice sculpture but only this one dispensed X-four vodka. No seriously…it was a giant block of ice with a tap in it. Now that’s a pretty extravagant way to keep your drinks frosty.

I started with some of the lighter offerings around the room. Can’t go wrong with freshly shucked raw oysters!

There were two different tables with assortments of cheese.

I only tried the plate from the Youth Team Canada, which is a Qualicum goat’s cheese, braised organic cippolini onions, mulled tomato and micro-greens with a salt and vinegar cracker and emulsified chimichurri. Everything on the plate works well together with sweet, sour, creamy, crunchy, mild, sharp and all kinds of textures…plus it’s a good looking plate as well. It’s paired with a Fraser Valley apple cider Tom Collins, which I thought had a strange gingery taste to it.

From Ontario, this is a pan-fried potato and goat cheese perogy with sauteed shiitake mushrooms, candied double smoked bacon and scallion cream. While I enjoyed the mushrooms, I found the perogy very bland and under seasoned. Unfortunate since I absolutely love cheese and potato perogies.

Another cool idea that fell a little short was this…pulled pork muffin. No, seriously…Alberta’s entry was pulled pork in a pinto cornmeal muffin topped with a maple butter cream frosting and smoked chipotle crackle. Now, I’ve had bacon cheesecake so I’m no stranger to mixing sweet with savory but I was just not impressed here. I didn’t really get the pulled pork part of it (there’s a tiny little chunk in the center) so it was just like a sweet, cornmeal muffin to me. I just didn’t understand what the intention of this dish was, I guess.

I did enjoy the Alberta Amber’s Brewing Company Sap Vampire Maple Lagera Simple, though. I don’t know why they can’t just call it “beer” either.

Saskatchewan came with a mustard cured duck bacon, Lac La Ronge wild rice and barley galette with carmine jewel cherry preserve. The duck was slightly tough but tasted okay. The rice, however, was a little too bland even with the salty duck on top of it.

Representing the Okanagan was a juniper cured venison bresadla with arugula and crispy shallots. I love cured meat and this is a good way to enjoy it but the venison is a tad dry for me. I would’ve preferred more of the cured prosciutto texture.

It’s hard to go wrong with putting anything on your macaroni and cheese, especially something as awesome as lobster. Prince Edward Island prepared a creamy mac and cheese, full of great little crunchy, overbaked pieces of melty cheese and a few chunks of succulent lobster. Not particularly creative but no complaints about the flavor.

Manitoba describes their dish as Manitoban smoked goldeye terrine with beet and goat cheese puree and sauteed pickerel cheeks, micro greens and a flax seed vinaigrette. The pickerel cheek was cooked nicely and seasoned well but the smoked goldeye terrine was tepid and lacked flavor. Absolutely stone cold but maybe it was just mine but I didn’t go back to try again.

I spoke to many people at the event and mostly everyone agreed that the best dish was from Quebec. This is a quail stuffed with fiddleheads, wrapped in boar bacon with celeriac and apple puree. The quail is tender and juicy and I don’t even really know what fiddleheads are but oh man, the stuffing inside the quail is just delicious. Mixed with the creamy puree and this is just a fantastic dish. I had seconds and probably could’ve had room for another if I didn’t try just about everything in the room. I’m sure I missed a couple but it was a busy night and a couple tables shut down before the end of it.

I’m not much a dessert guy but even I had to try the dish from BC, a hazelnut s’more with Philadelphia Cream Cheese and Christie graham crumbs, dark chocolate and marshmallows. Alone it would’ve been a very good dessert already, full of chocolate and hazelnut flavor…rich and velvety but paired with a Canterbury iced hazelnut coffee sealed the deal.

And I’m not even much of a coffee drinker. I’m much more into tea so fortunately for me, there was a big spread of various teas from Silk Road Tea in Victoria. I had an iced tea that I could swear tasted of ginger but didn’t have any in it and an oolong tea that was perfect for winding down after sampling so many different dishes.

Fantastic event put on by the CCFCC and while there were a few dishes that fell flat, there were a few that were flat out amazing. Someone call Quebec and tell them to ship me some more of that quail.

I know I don’t usually talk Canucks here (again) but I want to do what I can. This is also posted over at Canucks Hockey Blog, where I usually talk hockey.

Please read.

As a writer, I hate seeing that phrase to begin as it reminds me of those e-mail chain letters but I can’t help but just beg you to read this just one time. I promise you I am not trying to waste your time. If you are a Canucks fan or a Vancouver resident, I urge you to read this as it matters like few other things do to every one of us. Whether you love Vancouver or you love the Canucks, I dearly love both even if our relationship is strained at times and so I don’t care which camp you’re in as long as you’re in one or both. This is important. I don’t know how many people will read this but if I can get a few more, it would be worth it.

Even if this point has been made already, I feel compelled to try to convince you for myself because of the gravity of this situation. Some of you might not need much convincing but others might. I apologize if you find me long winded and for not having a “too long, didn’t read” version available at this time as it is 6am and I’m writing on no sleep, editing photos from last night’s Vancouver riot after the Canucks lost 4-0 in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. It’s just how I write…I don’t how to otherwise. Years and years of writing essays in school. Sorry but again, important. Long but I might need it to convince you to take action.

Whether you are a fan or not, I don’t care. I know that while many people in Vancouver are fanatics like myself, others don’t really care about the Canucks but this one time, we all need to agree on something and that is we need to put an end to this garbage before it happens a third time. Am I jumping the gun? Perhaps but if you saw the gravity of what happened last night in downtown Vancouver at ground zero like I did, you would rather be safe than sorry. My throat is still a little sore from coughing due to all the gas and smoke. The blatant idiocy that happened last night has and will cost us dearly whether it be from our wallets or our reputation worldwide, which has been at an all time high since our awesome Vancouver 2010 Olympics and a historic Vancouver Canucks run through the playoffs. Whether you care or not, this is now what makes the news. Instead of a loss for us to hang our heads about for a couple weeks and take some trash talk from Bruins fans, we are now the laughing stock of the world for trashing our own home. How stupid is this? If you went mad inside your house and tore that thing down, you would be absolutely insane. How on earth is this different? We’re blinder than referees here.

I have to admit I am one of those people that will joke about a riot anytime the Canucks even come close to losing…even in the regular season. But that mostly happens when I’m in bars. It’s 17 years ago and like that ‘94 game 7 loss, that riot has lost its sting. It is part of our Canucks lore, spoken of in damming tones like that damned goal post that Nathan Lafayette hit that could’ve sent the game against the Rangers into overtime. Yes, those riots were awful too but we can be lighthearted after some time. But jokes are jokes. I’m hearing conflicted reports that people are in the hospital and even that a fan died yesterday. I saw a man get kicked and pepper sprayed last night. This is insanity, people. What are we doing to ourselves? I never expected what happened last night.

I wrote last week that regardless of what the Canucks do in game 7, history had already been made. That was a long read as well but in short, we speak of ‘94 affectionately and our greatest heroes were some of the men on that roster. I would have no words for a Stanley Cup win. I’ve dreamed of it often in the 20 years I’ve been a Canucks fan but I’ve had fun every year and I have great memories that I speak of often because I love this team. Well, maybe not of the Messier/Keenan era but you are a LIAR if you tell me you were a Messier fan then. A loss is a loss. We win together, we lose together.

Real fans don’t riot. Real fans take the loss, drink a beer or two and get prepared for discussing the off-season. We are all Canucks. Are you going to stop being a Canuck now? We don’t do this. We are sportsmen like our team. We are one of the best run organizations in the league. President’s Trophy winners. Western Conference Champions. Our boys have given millions to charity. For all the abuse the Sedins have taken, they took it upon themselves to give $1.5 million of their own money to help sick kids. I’ve met some of the players and they are the nicest guys in the world, even when I don’t expect them to be after a tough loss or they’re just going about their business. Burrows, in particular, seems to always have all the time in the world for fans. Does this look like the dirty team the media has portrayed them to be? No. And it sure doesn’t look like a team that deserves the negative press we’re all going to get for this fiasco.

Our city is in ruins today because of a few who decided this would be a decent excuse to cause some trouble. I know this because I was there and overheard a lot, mostly that the troublemakers couldn’t care less about how the game went. They were going to break windows, burn cars and steal from us whether the Canucks won or lost. The world’s headlines say CANUCKS FANS RIOT or something similar this morning. Mayhem! I saw was the headline in this morning’s Province. All because of a few. There were well over 100,000 people in the crowds downtown. There weren’t 100,000 rioters. There were probably a number of spectators and bystanders. The rioters aren’t fans. They wear our colors but they’re not Canucks.

A brave few were able to stand up to the masses, proclaiming that this was our city, what on earth were we doing to our own city? If you head to YouTube, I’m sure you’ll find more than a few courageous souls defending our honor. Thank them, if you will because they did what few could bring themselves to voice, even though I’m sure most of us felt the same way. I’m afraid I wasn’t one of these brave people. Actually, I’m one of the spectators that some of you yelled at for giving these people an audience. I agree with you but let me justify my actions. No, I wasn’t thinking all of this at the time but it’s gotten stronger in my mind as the hours have passed.

My grades may not have been straight A’s but I do hold a major in sociology and can tell a thing or two about mob mentality. Once that crowd was down there, if someone was going to incite a riot, it was going to avalanche because the wave of insanity would reach people faster than they could leave with all that congestion. People are curious creatures so naturally, many are going to want to see what’s going on and as the night goes on, more will join them. I decided that it wasn’t a good bet to hedge my safety or that of my friends in what was a lost cause, at least nothing that one man is going to stop. Many of the brave who urged the crowds not to damage buildings got things thrown at them or worse. I said weeks ago that win or lose, I would go downtown to celebrate with fellow Canucks fans that want to when it was all said and done on the ice.

That and I was carrying all kinds of camera equipment on me. I noticed that a lot of people were doing the same. The great thing about the internet and camera phones…you’re going to see every event from multiple angles and vantage points.

Basically, Vancouver, we have every single rioter who broke a window, turned over a car, tore trees from our ground (yes, that happened), and set our streets on fire already on our memory cards. Some may have face masks but even then, some have identifiable tattoos and other features. We can get all these morons, Vancouver. You’re right, maybe I should’ve said a thing or two to prevent more damage to our city when I was down there last night…but most of it already happened. We can make sure right now it doesn’t happen again.

Why? Two reasons. Firstly, this is our home. As I mentioned before, we all look like this right now. How many of you did I hear in person or on the internet say how ashamed they are of what has happened? We all know what’s going on. It’s the people that wrecked downtown Vancouver that haven’t thought this all the way through. Remember our reputation as a no fun city? Imagine how it’s going to be now after the city realizes that even though they put on a huge party downtown for us, WE DID THIS. We’re like the kids that were given a sweet ninja weapons as a birthday gift on the condition that we wouldn’t attack anyone with it and then going and bonking someone in the head with nun-chucks. We screwed up with our fun toy, Vancouver and now our parents might take it away. What happens next playoffs? Sorry, fans…no awesome outdoor viewing screens no one else on the planet would do for a hockey team.

Secondly, the Canucks. Can you imagine how it must be to feel to know the city rioted because they lost? Or worse…can you imagine how they’re going to feel NEXT playoffs when we might be here again. They’re going to want to lose just so we don’t burn this place to the ground! The riot didn’t happen because the Canucks lost but they might think that way. Despite what Ryan Whitney will tell you, the Canucks are one of the most desirable teams in the NHL to play for. Do you think players want to play here if they know our fans are psychopaths that will tear this place apart?

So I urge you, please…upload any photos you have of rioters that may assist the police in bringing these criminals to justice. If you aren’t convinced, tell me how I can convince you to do the right thing, right now and if I can convince you to tell everyone you know to do the same. They have stolen from us not only by stealing but by costing the city millions…which is money out of our pockets. Even if they are your family or friends, this was a stupid thing they did. If you aren’t going to identify them to police, I understand. At least talk to them and make sure they know how stupid it is to basically be taking money out of our own pockets and setting it alight. I understand the importance of blood but at least give them grief if you see a picture of a family member standing on top of a flaming, upside-down police car. Either way, we need to see these people punished. Don’t think we can’t do it? Even if that facial recognition is mumbo jumbo…with the internet, someone is bound to know who these jerks are. We have to do this.

If we don’t, how can the Canucks carry on? How can we carry on as a city if every time something cool happens, we burn it all up? We are better than this.

If all of us smart people are all together, we outnumber the idiots. I have to believe that, Vancouver. Let’s do this right the first time. If we don’t all do something, these people have nothing to fear. I hope you love our city and our hockey team as much as I do.

Contact the Vancouver Police Department with photo or video evidence or witness accounts by e-mail at robbery@vpd.ca or by phone at 604-717-2541. I’m sure you can contact them any other way too…this is important. I’m sure they’ve got time.

I know I don’t usually talk Canucks here but one win away from a Stanley Cup, I can’t resist. This is also posted over at Canucks Hockey Blog, where I usually talk hockey.

The commercials may say otherwise but in reality, history has already been made. I’m not sure how many of us have stopped to think about it but we are witnessing an important point in time. Regardless of whether we win or lose, this magical playoff run of the 2010/2011 Vancouver Canucks will be spoken of for generations. I can see myself now, an old man chatting with my equally old friends, telling our grandchildren of this illustrious time of our youth.

“Where were you when Burr gloved that puck down and scored to beat the Hawks?”

“You remember when Juice was the only one in Rogers Arena that knew where that bouncing puck off the glass was and sent us to the Stanley Cup Finals?”

“Game 1 was a thriller where Raffi Torres scored with 18 seconds left and Lu shut the Bruins out!”

“11 seconds! That was all it took for Burr to win us game 2!”

“Man, how awesome was Luongo when he bounced back after two awful games with a shutout in game 5?”

This will be especially true for those of us who weren’t born in ‘82 and were a little too young to fully comprehend how important ‘94 was. I was 11 at the time and while I followed the whole ‘94 run and idolize guys like Linden, Bure, and McLean, I’d be lying if I said my memories weren’t hazy and greatly supplemented by highlights in the 17 years since. I remember the way I felt, I remember that our boys gave it their all and came a goal post away from sending that epic series into overtime, but specifics about the times or where my life was? That’s all a little much for my 11 year old brain to remember.

But this time is different. I can tell you exactly where I was for almost every goal. I can tell you things I said at specific times.

I could tell you that I called Chris Higgins (I call him “Chiggins”…) to score the double overtime goal in game 5 against the Sharks and swore at the very moment that he got on that breakaway that if he scored, I would run outside and buy a jersey with his name across my back.

I can tell you I actually jumped for joy when I watched Burr pot that 11 second overtime wraparound, spilling my beer and immediately high-fiving any and all around me, including several other bloggers here at Canucks Hockey Blog…most of which I met in person for the first time.

I can tell you I did not see the twins before a friend said “Wait a minute…” and pressed rewind. No, I am not talking about the Sedins.

Just like I can tell you where I was when we won gold in ‘02 and when Crosby scored The Golden Goal. I’m sure I’m not the only one that will remember where I was not only in terms of location but where I was in life at this particular moment in time. If that isn’t making history, then someone needs to bring me a dictionary. I know it’s recent but there are things you don’t forget. For me, that’s things like this…and the lyrics to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Will we win? Let me be the first to tell you that winning when we’ve come so far together…it isn’t irrelevant but it isn’t everything. This is a very results-orientated business and a highly critical city but here on the cusp of something so great, we really should remember what we love about our team.

While bandwagoners and naysayers will only look at results, what most true Canucks fans want is to see is a real effort. Real fans are different in that way. I won’t say it’s a uniquely Canadian quality or unique to hockey. It’s something about sport and true fans of it. We want to see our team give it their all, to leave every last bit of themselves on the ice, to show us what they’re really made of. If they give us that, then a positive result is a bonus. A huge bonus but a bonus. We remember and revere ‘94 and ‘82 because that’s what we got from our team, an effort.

We love Roger Neilson because he would never surrender. We love Kirk McLean because we could count on him to make that save. We love Pavel Bure because we could count on him to score. We love Trevor Linden because even if it was on crutches…we knew he would play.

Look at our franchise’s greatest heroes. Not a Stanley Cup ring among them…at least not while they were on our team. If the Canucks win it all this year, will we forget about Stan Smyl? Gino Odjick? Geoff Courtnall? Cliff Ronning? No…because they’re not heroes because they won. Their bodies were bruised and perhaps a few bones were broken but their hearts would never give up. They are our heroes because they littered the ice with their sweat, tears and Canuck-colored blood.

A loss would hurt. No one would think otherwise. I mean, have you heard this city? It erupts when we score. You can hear all of Vancouver telling the refs they suck. We are invested. A loss would in all likelihood would end with me in the back of a police car or so drunk out of my mind, I will actually appear in The Hangover 3 despite not being cast in the movie. But after the alcoholism and buffoonery stop, we can’t help but look back fondly on the days we supported our team for over two months after the last regular season game. Oh, how long and awful those scraggly playoff beards were on our otherwise handsome face-parts, we will say. Even bad memories will eventually get a laugh or two. Have you heard anyone speak of Nathan Lafayette in anger? Probably not. It isn’t as if he didn’t try. He just missed. Even Gretzky can miss. People are probably more pissed at the post…that bastard.

If this, then, is how Vancouver speaks of those who haven’t brought home the big prize, then what sort of praise do our boys deserve if they do? To be honest, I have no idea. Congratulations sound empty. Clapping or cheering seems unworthy. I wouldn’t even know what to say if the Canucks get their name engraved on that trophy and in turn, engrave themselves into the memories of millions of us Canucks around the planet. It would be part of our city as I’m sure a day, park, statue, bridge or whatever else we can find will be named in their honor. Minstrels will write songs in their praise…well, more of them anyways. It wouldn’t be enough. As those would have won before will tell you, there are no words.

I would tell the players to make Vancouver proud but the reality is…we are already proud. Proud that we’ve made it this far. Proud that the Canucks wear our city’s name on your chests like Supermans (…Supermen?) and that we can proudly wear their names on our backs.

Thank you, Canucks. Thank you for this historic season. Thank you for being our team. Our Canucks.

It seems like the cool thing to do these days is to claim that what you’ve written is unbiased and objective. I, instead, will claim the exact opposite. Alright, boys…we got a Cup to win.

Go Canucks go!

Before we go any further, I should tell you that I think Thor could have been a pretty good movie. The only thing that’s truly wrong with it? It’s about Thor.

I know he’s a headliner, one of the Avengers and overall a rather popular part of the Marvel universe but I just don’t find anything about him compelling or interesting. The best part of about most superheroes is they started out like any of us. Some might be obscenely rich like Iron Man or really smart like Beast but still, the origin story usually begins with a relatively normal person. On the other hand, we are fully aware of Thor’s god origins from the start. Sure, his powers are taken away in an attempt to give us a quasi-origin story but c’mon, we see him swinging that hammer around for at least half of the preview.

Comic book writers have long figured out ways to give their superheroes weaknesses because unstoppable, unkillable beings are just not all that entertaining to watch since it removes tension or sense of danger from the plot. I scoured the nerdiest of websites on Marvel lore and couldn’t find much evidence of Thor’s weaknesses apart from the fact that he isn’t particularly bright. There’s also a bit of chatter about him needing to wear his belt to use his hammer time powers but I don’t understand how his need to accessorize has anything to do with his fighting ability.

Thor begins with a little backstory, mostly regarding how the big bad frost giants were going around making people into popsicles until Anthony Hopkins and his funny hat come to take the bully’s toys away. Naturally the frost giants aren’t too happy about this and try to get their massive ice cube back, which triggers a poorly thought out attack by Thor (Chris Hemsworth). As a result, he ends up on earth, getting run over by Jane (Natalie Portman), some sort of scientist.

The character is based on Norse mythology so you’d expect everyone to look like some sort of viking. Marvel takes this one step further with Thor and makes it “vikings in space”. Yes, that sounds silly but it could work given the right script and dialogue. Unfortunately, Thor is full of over-the-top lines stuffed with faux heroism like early ’90s wrestling. I half expected Thor to tell the frost giants he’d see them at Wrestlemania next Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY! Some of it works. The lines that were probably intended to be funny were actually quite funny. I laughed out loud when I saw the legions of rednecks pulling up their trucks and barbecues to the site where Thor’s hammer landed, which includes a chuckle worthy cameo with Stan Lee. Thor’s fish-out-of-water scenes are genuinely funny and endearing but between the unintentional comedy and a mostly uninteresting story line, there’s not enough to keep anyone’s attention.

That sort of wastes some rather good performances from the cast across the board. Hemsworth does his bit, as does Natalie Portman, even if their roles don’t require much more than just being charming. It isn’t Portman’s fault that her character isn’t believable. That isn’t because of her performance but simply…there’s no way scientists look like her.

That’s really the bulk of the problems with this movie. The action is above average and despite some shoddy CG here and there, the film looks top quality. Even the fight scenes are done rather well. I thought there was only a couple ways a guy could fight with a big hammer but apparently there’s quite a few more.

However, I simply didn’t care about anything happening. There’s never anything really at stake. Sure, it would probably be in Earth’s best interest if Asgarde is there to have our back but none of what goes on in Thor really matters. Not much is at stake for the viewer. I just don’t care about any of anything that’s going on on screen. There isn’t even a big bad guy for Thor to fight…not one that most viewers will care to watch anyways. There are a couple of interesting Marvel Universe cameos that show up in the film, including one of Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye but overall, I felt like I could’ve just skipped Thor and not be any worse off.

It’s a decent action flick if you want to see vikings in space beat up on strange blue dudes and I’m sure all the Marvel fans will be all over this but for the casual viewer, this is probably one of the least interesting comic book movies and surely the worst to come from Marvel.

…oh wait, forgot about Spider-man 3.

Verdict: 5.0 out of 10

A few years ago, Half-Life 2 came out and other than being a freakin’ awesome game with some of the most innovative gameplay mechanics around, it was the basis for other popular games such as Counter-Strike. However, the real gem was somewhat overlooked at first…that little game included in the Orange Box package called Portal. It sounded cool enough but I didn’t see how a game like this where I’m not firing hot lead at people’s faces and/or groins could possibly entertain the violence desensitized masses.

But it did. In fact, I’ve said since playing it that Portal is at the very least one of the best games ever created. Yes, right up there with the Marios and Zeldas or whatever else you hold up there on your video gaming pedestal. Yes, it is that good. If you haven’t played the original Portal, then you can probably find it for $10 somewhere as the Orange Box is roughly 4-5 years old now. I highly recommend you play it as I can’t think of a single person that would not have fun.

The original lacked in terms of storytelling. It was more of a demo for the technology and mechanics than a full game but few games have as much personality, which is strange because the only living thing in the game is your player character. The rest is a cast of boxes, turrets, panels, whatever. Oh, and GLaDOS, an AI that controls the Aperture Science facility where you’re testing the portal gun.

To understand how everything feels alive when it really isn’t, I recommend you watch this IKEA commercial.

We’re all well aware that lamps aren’t alive but that Pixar lamp…can you be so sure? Portal is filled with stuff like this like turrets that shoot you when they see you and ask “Are you still there…?” when they can’t. Even the panels of walls move and shake like they’re alive. Heck, there’s a cube that doesn’t even say or do anything…it just has hearts all over it. That and we haven’t even talked about GLaDOS yet, who taunts you in a sort of passive aggressive manner in a strangely sexy robot voice…like Alicia Keys stole T-Pain’s autotuner…and was a jerk.

And the gameplay…oh man, it is fun. Portal is sort of a thinking man’s game. You can’t brute force anything and most of the time, you’ll have to stare at the screen and figure out how the puzzle works before trying to execute it a few times. In early levels, things are straight-forward but it gets progressively harder until you have to have both a physics major and serious video game reflexes. It never gets frustratingly hard although a couple puzzles come close.

Portal is a near perfect game. It has just about everything. If it had a plot that made more sense or wasn’t such a throw together sci-fi script, it would be perfect but it makes up for it in other areas. It even has probably the coolest song to ever be featured in a video game.

Portal 2 is some more of the awesome we had in Portal. It takes place years after the original, as you can see by the state of ruin Aperture Science is in but it starts quickly and you’re into the action early. The reveal near the beginning of the game is spectacular and it only gets better from there. While the first game lacked plot, Portal 2 is an achievement in storytelling. While the plot itself is rather standard and the twists didn’t surprise me all that much, this is one of the funniest and most interestingly told scripts ever in video gaming.

It isn’t the main plot that’s awesome. I love the dialog from GLaDOS and Wheatley (Steven Merchant does the voice). The taunts from GLaDOS after every test puzzle is hysterical and Steven Merchant is at his best…although I could never not see his face when Wheatley would talk.

Again, the plot isn’t anything new but oh my god, is it amazing to experience. The Aperture Science labs, especially later on in the game, is one of the best looking environments I’ve ever seen. The vastness in scale and size is staggering and even though the Source engine is 7 years old, it looks fantastic. There isn’t a single second of Portal 2 where I didn’t want to keep playing. It’s paced well and you always want to see what the next level brings. That’s the mark of a great game. “Oh, just one more…and then one more after that.”

The only real problem with Portal 2 is the puzzles aren’t quite hard enough. Most of the time, they seem downright obvious although in later levels, they take 5-10 minutes a piece just to figure out. However, I can see why. Any harder and the puzzles might just be frustrating rather than fun.

Regardless, if someone asked me to give them the best example of a video game, it would be Portal or Portal 2. It is as good as a video game can be in terms of…well, everything. If you aren’t having fun with these games, then I’m sorry to say…there is something wrong with you.

Also, remember to watch even after you’ve beaten the game. I cracked up when I saw the leopard print.

…you’ll see.

I love these new tiny rugged HD video cameras that basically every EXTREME! sports fanatic wears on their head these days. They give us perspective previously only captured by shaky, blurry, non-high definition video and…well, I’ve pretty much stopped watching anything that isn’t HD on TV already.

Living in Vancouver, you have to be into snow sports like snowboarding and skiing, two things I love but to be honest, I’m usually scared out of my wits when I hit a black run. That’s no problem for these guys though. They’re rewarded for their thrill-seeking when a massive avalanche shows up behind them, making for some awesome video. This looks fun as hell…y’know, if you don’t poop your pants on the way down.

P.S. one of those dudes just ditches his ski poles. Since when are they disposable?