thefunnywebpages

Oxymorons!

2011-09-19T16:21:00.000-07:00

There are three kinds of oxymorons: Stupid air, two words in contrast to another (ex. JUMBO shrimp), and Billy Mays (Oxy(clean)Moron!) Here is a list of some of my favorites:
Civil War
Same Difference
Honest Crook
Microsoft Works
Happy Monday
Freezer Burn
Melted Ice
Government Organization
Useful Oxymoron
Head Butt
Good Lawyer
Anti-Missile Missle
Apple Tech Support
Awfully Nice
Political Science
If you want more go to oxymoronlist.com!

Can't Sue Dis

2011-02-06T15:14:00.000-08:00

SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL

Take that NFL!!!!

A little song of mine

2010-12-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

From my 5th Grade teacher Mrs. Hess: We fish ewe a mare-y gretch moose! We fish ewe a mare-y gretch moose! We fish ewe a mare-y gretch moooooose! And a hippo gnu deer!

The best way to ambush is with bombs, explosives, and nukes. And sometimes ice cream. Or spaghetti.

To my viewers: Please follow my blog or please suggest this blog to others. I'd like this blog to be more popular.

The Impatient Knocker

2010-12-29T09:17:00.000-08:00

Knock knock
Who's There?
Knock Knock
Who's There!
Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock
WHO IN THE FREAKIN' WORLD IS THERE!!!!!!?????
Jeez, I just wanted you to let me in!

Sorry G-Ma!

2010-12-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

Sorry! I forgot! Anyway, what does a pastor at a marriage of mice say?
"Squeak now or forever hold your peace!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Cw2YWEFgY Hilarious video!!!

Um... Chuck Norris anyone?

2010-10-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...*hhhhhhhhhhhh I knows! How much wood would Chuck chuck if Chuck would chuck wood? If Chuck would chuck wood, wood wouldn't exist.
When the Boogieman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. I like pi! 3.141592653589793... That reminds me! Chuck k'nows the last digit of pi, and he has counted to infinite. Twice.

Sister time!

2010-09-29T04:54:00.000-07:00

Mah sistah thought of this one: What does rain put in its hair? A rain-bow!
didideedahdeedeedododidadidydo! (Da hampster dance!)

Poke Poke...

2010-09-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

What is the facial expression of a person who pokes u a lot?
Poker Face!

Rich Breath

2010-09-08T05:14:00.000-07:00

What type of gas is rich? A trillion-air!

Tricky Moses

2010-09-07T05:07:00.000-07:00

How many animals did Moses take on his Ark?
None! Moses didn't have an ark!

Andrew is having comedian's block so he's making it Andrew Quote of the Week now. (Day of week to be determined.)

A Round Corner

2010-09-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Matt: How was detention today?
Molly: Terrible, I'll never get detention again!
Matt: Was it that bad? What did Miss Shepperd make you do? Write lines?
Molly: Worse; she put me in a round room and told me to sit in a corner.

Video mix-up!

2010-09-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

Bagels not jokes today! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_vI2eoRuk

I finally got an Andrew quote!
"Da banana is brown. Da banana is red! Da banana is yello. That's Andrew's Quote. Ta-da!"
Spread the wrd about this blog!

Face Funny

2010-09-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

What did one eye say to the other? "Don't look now, but between us, something smells!"

...

Spotted rainbow duck-fish!

tsaL s'nevohteeB

2010-09-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

A lady was enjoying a trip to Europe when she heard Ode to Joy being played backwards! She located the music to a nearby graveyard, and finally ended up at Beethoven's grave. She asked the grave keeper why he was playing Beethoven's music backwards. As "8 .on ynohpmyS" began, the grave keeper replied,"Oh, I'm not playing it! Beethoven here is decomposing!

I Keep Forgetting...

2010-07-26T13:17:00.000-07:00

I promise to be better now! Anyway... What do you call a hotel room made of candy? A sweet suite! ( Say it out loud)

Wait for little bit for A-Q-O-T-D! :(

I'm Back!

2010-06-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

I forgot how to blog! I got frustrated and gave up. How do you cure a bad case of "happy tongue?"
With a tongue depressor!

Kaylee Quote-of-the-Day! (Andrew is sick) :( Hi. Period. Hi period! Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi. Period

Another one

2009-08-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's my next one!

What does a mute(can't talk) clock say? Tick, tick, tick... (It can't tock!)

Quote:'A dog was walking by, and he found a dog. he didn't like it. The End.'

My first funny

2009-08-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is my new blog! So, every day I'll put 1 joke and an Andrew Quote-of-the-Day. ( I'll ask my brother to say something funny and I'll put it here.) If I think of something to add I'll be sure to tell about it as well. So... Here's my first funny!

What do you get when you find bones in your jello? Skeletin

And the Quote-of-the-Day... "What happens when you freeze water? What happens when you freeze toothpaste? What happens when you freeze a booger?"