The Gift of Galen Patrick

Are relationships toxic?

2012-01-10T12:13:00.002-06:00

A lot of people talk about being in toxic relationships. Is your relationship toxic? Are relationships toxic? What are your thoughts?

So you survived...

2012-01-06T10:12:00.002-06:00

Congratulations! If you have survived a crappy relationship with a worthless person give yourself a big pat on the back!!!

Resources on relationship recovery

2010-04-29T00:24:00.001-05:00

You may have noticed that we've branched out into several blogs on different platforms. Moving forward they will not necessarily contain identical posts. All we be about recovering from a relationship with Galen P. Sanderson.

They can be found at http://www.thegiftofgalenpatrick.blogspot.com and http://www.thegiftofgalenpatricksanderson.wordpress.com

Enjoy.

Galen is not living in God's will

2010-04-26T14:25:00.003-05:00

So our mutual minister friend calls me and says, "Galen is not living in God's will".

What am I supposed to do about that? How can I have any impact on whether or not Galen Sanderson is listening to God?

Which made me wonder if I am doing what God would have me do.

To which our minister friend responded, "If you are loving your children, living for the Lord, honestly working your AdvoCare business, and serving your God and your neighbors than you ARE living in God's will."

Well Amen to that.

And he further instructed that there is nothing which I can do for Galen except pray for him to heed God's will and get out of his sinful relationship.

Men and directions

2010-04-23T08:23:00.003-05:00

Bumper Sticker: Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Ha! That just about says it all. Prince Charming, well, I'm done kissing frogs so he isn't arriving that way.

But if he gets lost I can just forget it. He'll never find his way back home.

Men are like baseball bats. Not terribly useful unless you want to play with the balls or beat the crap out of something. Otherwise they just take up space and look useless!

Is your guy destined to be a cheater?

2010-04-22T09:41:00.003-05:00

Men who are afraid of being alone are 11 times more likely to cheat and to lie. Anyone who, like Galen Sanderson, is afraid of being alone will start their next relationship while keeping their previous relationship hanging on a thread with lies.

If your spouse or significant other is needy, clutchy, clingy; then he may be a man who is afraid of being alone. Men who fear not having someone to hang on to will hang on to 2 or more women to prevent the unthinkable of being alone.

The way to avoid finding yourself in a relationship with a needy man who will be a cheater is to analyze your date early on. Does he call you 23 times per day? Does he show up unannounced at your home or work repeatedly? Does he feel the need to go around introducing himself to everyone you know or work with or socialize with as "your boyfriend"?

Galen did this early on but I didn't recognize the warning signs.

=

What to do about a cheater...

2010-04-21T17:22:00.004-05:00

One especially irate reader contacted me and asked what she could do about her lying and cheating husband.

Here are the recourses that I can/could/have/should take with Galen.

1. Sue the girlfriend for abandonment of affection (as can her husband sue Galen)

2. Make a sworn statement to her husband's attorney about the length of their affair to aid in hus child custody and support suits

3. Blog!

4. Contact the other party as he/she may not know that her new partner is previously committed

5. Prevent your mutual children from having any contact with the cheating partner

6. Seek therapy and counseling

7. Involve religious parties

8. Contact the employers

9. Contact the authorities

This is just a good getting started list. I probably should have reached out to Galen's mother, Carole Sanderson, and his ex-wife, Samantha.

Galen's oldest son Ryan is getting married this weekend. I hope HE has enough sense not be settling down with a bi-sexual adulterous like Galen has. But then his ex wife always said he wasn't very bright.

When he lies and you believe

2010-04-21T17:17:00.001-05:00

Maybe one of the hardest things about finding out that you are dating a liar and a cheater is realizing that you were foolish enough to believe his lies.

When I look back on nearly a solid year of Galen coming to see me, spending the night at my house, telling me we were working on our relationship, and leading me on - all the while dating his bi-sexual girlfriend, lying about where he was living and working, and generally speaking leading me on I can't help but feel foolish.

Galen P. Sanderson led me on but I let him get away with it.

Men lie. Men cheat. In the case of Galen's girlfriend, Joy so do women and wives.

It doesn't actually make you or me less of a person because you believed the lies. Don't let it set you up to repeat the same mistakes.

Detoxification

2010-04-19T12:20:00.002-05:00

Read a short tweet on Twitter about the need for body detoxification. I've been in the health and wellness world long enough to know basically what that means, but it lead me to a lengthy series of articles on mind, body, spirit detox.

The whole process of detoxification is a removal of impurities. Impure toxins in your body, impure thoughts in your mind, impure behavior in your spirit. There are many products to assist with physical detoxification. Pure white or apple cider vinegar. Herbal or colon cleanses such as the Herbal Cleanse from AdvoCare. Dandelion root tea, Psyllium, and bentonite clay are all products additionally associated with cleanses of the body's systems.

Detox of the mind and the spirit are a little more esoteric. For example, cleansing your mind of a bad memory might involve flooding your mind with happy thoughts, much like the Darling children in Peter Pan.

The whole research endeavor got me to thinking about the detoxification we tend to go through after a breakup. Galen begged me to move on and get over him. So I had to detoxify my life of Galen.

There are plenty of approaches to post-relationship detoxification. For some people that might mean rushing right out into another relationship like Galen did with Joy. For some people that means retreating into themselves and avoiding relationships entirely. Perhaps you choose to fill your new-found spare time with something different like I've done with my horses.

As you work through your personal relationship detoxification process you will find that your mind, your body, and your spirit work better. If you don't rush into another sexual partner, or seek out someone to replace what you think you lost in your failed relationship your detoxification process will go much smoother.

Relationship detoxification is a necessary process in recovering, especially if your relationship wasn't good. Don't rush the process.

The End of the Misery

2010-04-18T20:13:00.003-05:00

Somewhere along the way of a you think you've mastered the art of misery. I mean, being miserable seems to go hand in hand with being lied to and cheated on, right? Even in a simple, mutual breakup, it is painful.

It was with great pleasure today that I realized except for when God talks to me about Galen, I don't really think about him often. Certainly not hourly like I did at one time.

Take heart, ladies, you can recover from the broken heart. Life goes on. There are plenty of people out there to occupy your time and your thoughts.

So, why is God talking about Galen?

God Speaks

2010-04-16T12:47:00.002-05:00

Oh for crying out loud!

God speaks loudly and sternly about His plans for Galen and I. But why does He keep telling me? I have remained loyal and true to His plan and to my committment to the relationship. While Galen continues his adulterous affair with the married woman.

It seems like God would accomplish more if He spoke to Galen for a change.

The time has come for what was broken to be mended, He says. So what am I supposed to do?

I have spent many a night on my knees listening to the Word of God, delving into the Word of God, sharing scripture with Galen, and cleansing my soul. God has lifted the pain and dispair that comes to the jilted woman. So how can it be that He still speaks of Galen and I as a "we"?

Hiding or just burying your head in the sand

2010-04-15T10:47:00.003-05:00

Could it be that Galen's series of lies were really hiding something even worse than having an affair with a married woman? Readers have submitted numerous ideas about what this deli clerk/guardsman could really be hiding above and beyond his affair.

After all, her husband now knows all about their affair. I now know all about their affair. Their employers know all about the affair. Her God-fearing parents now know all about their affair. Most of these same people also know all about her bi-sexual deviations. Expect perhaps Galen who is either un-concerned or turned on or totally in denial. Until Joy runs around with a woman who is also bi-sexual or lesbian he can keep his little head buried in the sand. Certainly at this point Galen is well aware of Joy's excessive history of cheating. That can't be what he's hiding behind. So what is it?

Several readers have suggested that perhaps he, also, is bi. Hard to imagine but who knows. A few people think he's hiding something even worse behind Joy and his affair. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The Lies

2010-04-15T08:31:00.002-05:00

A reader has tried to wrap their brain around the lengthy series of lies, and why I tolerated it for so long.

The first part of the query is easy enough to deal with. The second is much more complicated. Love is blind. It is very tempting to only see what jives with your beliefs in the person you are attracted to. In the same way that Galen is blind to Joy's bi-sexual tendencies, I allowed myself to be blind to his lies.

So what were the lies? Where he was living. Who he was living with. Whether or not he was dating someone. Whether or not we were working on our relationship. Whether or not he is deployed. Where he is working. Whether or not he is running errands. Who he's sleeping with. Whether or not his girlfriend is married, separated, divorced. Whether or not he is working with his downline.

The list actually goes on and on and the lies goes back for many years.

Galen is a dunderhead

2010-04-14T21:17:00.002-05:00

The more I think about that little pecker head saying "he doesn't hold any ill will towards me" the angrier I get!

What on God's green earth could he feel entitled to have ill will towards me for? I didn't lie to him. I didn't cheat on him. And I sure as heck didn't force him to date a married bi-sexual woman. Galen is so far out of his right mind that all I can keep thinking is how fortunate I am to not have him in my life.

As my friends, family, and co-workers keep saying, I can do so much better than a little lying, cheating, peckerhead deli clerk at Harris Teeter.

One of Galen's biggest fears with this blog is that I would tell his deepest darkest secrets. Well, heck, can anyone imagine that there is worse stuff than his lying, cheating, and dating a married bi-sexual little whore from York, SC? There is actually. But I've never felt the need to share it.

Galen P. Sanderson is so insecure in his self-worth and his business persona that he is convinced that I'm going to somehow steal his downline in AdvoCare. Why in the world would I want his downline?!?!? He is in my downline. So his downline is in m downline. What a dunderhead.

He actually contacted my upline to see how he could get out from under me. But of course he can't do that unless he leaves his existing business, which I helped him build, and he'd be a total idiot to do that. And if he does then it just takes a level of payouts from the calculations and I would make more money on his recruits. So it is certainly no skin off my nose if he does. But why in the world would he think that I'm going to work with his recruits or with him for that matter?

For nearly four years I've promoted Galen's AdvoCare websites and that is where his recruits and his retail customers came from.

AdvoCare has great products. They have a great compensation plan. It is the easiest business in the world to build. But Galen is lazy. And that is why I've always (a) seen more success than he has and (b) had to help him build his business.

The boy just never learns!

Just like he is making the biggest mistake of his life with Joy, he is going to screw around and alienate his entire AdvoCare organization because he is a total dunderhead. Lord help him.

Talked to Him

2010-04-14T17:34:00.002-05:00

Talked to Galen today. Funny how some things never change. He thinks I'm "stealing" his AdvoCare downline. I don't even WANT his downline.

He assured me he has "no ill will" towards me. Well I guess not. I certainly haven't done anything to him.

It is just amazing how the more God blesses me, the more problems he has. I guess that is just what happens when you live in God's will rather than out of God's will.

Talking to an ex isn't necessarily good for your recovery. However, we had some AdvoCare stuff to discuss.

2010-04-14T10:11:00.002-05:00

It is never too late to become the person you were meant to be. T.S. Eliot

If you think that perhaps you made a bad choice along the way, there is no law that says you cannot start over again with a different choice and re-map your path in life.

Choose people who build you up. Choose careers that inspire you. Choose educational paths that encourage and inspire you to greater things in line with your goals.

You can anytime day or night decide to choose again and do things differently. Of course, I think of Galen's choices when I read this quote. But my own choices in life often are relevant here as well.

Choose wisely, Grasshopper.

Is there life out there?

2010-04-14T07:14:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when you are hurting it is hard to imagine that the pain will subside and life will go on.

But there is life out there.

It is okay if you hurt because someone broke your heart. But that doesn't mean that you can't move on with your life. Look around you. Pick two or three things that you really enjoy and put your energy there.

I am so blessed to have horses in my life again. Riding, training, and the impending birth of our first foal give me great pleasure and satisfaction. Remembering how jealous Galen grew of the time I spent with the horses BEFORE I was on night watch for the birth of Rosa's foal, makes me kind of glad that he isn't in my life now. He would have gone bananas about me checking on the horse every couple hours every night.

Long before Galen came into my life, I was running a business out of my home. Both AdvoCare and Success Promotions take a lot of time to generate an income. Galen was often angry that I had to work at night. I could never have given up a few days at home to go out of town for training. With no Galen in my life I can travel to Atlanta for a few days to obtain my Google Certification.

There are lot of ways that life is better sans Galen. It doesn't mean I don't still love him. But it makes it a lot easier to be oka living without him. Sure, he broke my heart. But he didn't break my spirit or my will.

Rats

2010-04-13T21:12:00.002-05:00

Away on business. Packed in a hurry. Brought a nightgown that reminds me of Galen. Have to wear it, I only brought one.

When I get home I'll burn it in the firepit Heidi built me. There will be no more Fantasy Football Draft Night scenarios.

No point in remembering something that was good, but can be no more because he is no longer good.

Think before you act

2010-04-13T08:51:00.001-05:00

Never murder a man who is committing suicide. Woodrow Wilson

Ladies, just because there is murder in your eyes over the injustices of a man's behavior doesn't mean you have to have blood on your hands. If he is really an idiot he is committing suicide figuratively or literally without your help.

Take Galen for example. He actually thinks that this blog is ruining his reputation, not the fact that he has been running around with a married woman or lying or cheating. Hmmmmm. I don't have to kill him with kindness or otherwise. He is committing suicide physically and spiritually without any help from me.

It Can Be a Great New Day In Spite of It All

2010-04-13T08:01:00.003-05:00

It's a great new day!

When you get up in the morning tell yourself what a great new day it is. It doesn't matter if its raining or shining, the quality of your day directly relates to the attitude inside not the attitude outside.

I know how hard that is sometimes. At the moment I'm on baby watch waiting for my horse to deliver her foal and can't even remember what 3 hours of consecutive sleep feels like. I've had kids on crutches, kids in surgery, and a broken heart already this year and it is only April. But don't let it determine the quality of your attitude or the quality of your day.

One of the things I struggle with right now is having so many mutual friends with Galen Patrick that I hear of him all the time. Just this week we hired a Galen at work. I have been teasing him unmercifully that if I growl at him he'll just have to accept it.

So I hear that Galen and Joy are getting married, God help them. Of course she has to get divorced first and he has to get over me. I hear about the lies Galen keeps telling his downline in AdvoCare and his friends and family. But none of that has to determine the kind of day I'm going to have.

Yes, I most definately still have feelings for this man. But that DOESN'T mean that I have to dwell on them. Loving others is good for the heart. Don't let the fact that you still care about your EX make you cdrazy. It isn't necessary to dwell on it.

There are cosmic truths that you can accept or you can fight but you cannot change them. I wake up every day and Galen is no longer the first thought on my mind. Sure, I think of him. And not always kindly. But I am in control of what I dwell on.

Pray for peace. Ask God to surround you in His perfect love, commit to stay in His will, and you will have a great day.

Amen!

Choose Wisely

2010-04-12T08:08:00.003-05:00

"I think somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." Eleanor Roosevelt

What must it be like to wake up one day and realize that you aren't exactly who you thought you were or what you thought you were? I wonder if Mrs. Roosevelt spoke these words in light of her own sexual choices or in light of the great man and leader that her husband was? Perhaps both.

It is easy to forget as we go about our day to day living and choice making that each and every choice directly correlates to who and what we are and we will become. Paper or plastic. Straight or gay. Right or wrong. Cream and sugar. Truth or lie.

Don't take lightly the choices that you make today. They will determine who you are when you wake up tomorrow.

Whether you are battling an addiction or choosing a mate or ordering dinner.

Make today a GREAT day. Make your choices with greatness in mind.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2010-04-12T05:48:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I think, as humans, we have a tendency to wish for the exact OPPOSITE of what we want. I can't fathom why. But it seems like it happens over and over again.

Galen was adamant about wanting me to get on with my life, move on, get over him. Man, I struggled with that for a while. There was such a dichotomy between what I saw, what Galen wanted, and what God spoke for my life.

Now, flash forward to April 2010.

I am a much stronger and healthier person. It doesn't hurt in the least that the more I learn about him and his girlfriend, the farther removed I am from the whole shenanigans that is the life of Galen Patrick Sanderson.

I don't ache for him. I don't yearn for him. And I sure as hell am not waiting for him. He has become nearly as much of a non-entity in my life as Joy herself. Bi-sexual lying cheater and pathetic lying cheater. The perfect pair.

And now, now when I could care in the least what he and she are doing, when my life is so wholly blessed by a God who helps me remain so Holy as to be fully removed (over and moved on in Galen's words of request) that my whole entire life is light years from where I drifted aimlessly a year ago when I told Galen I didn't love him because he was cheating on me and gave him his ring back because he accused me of selling it.

Now, when Galen's name doesn't bring me pain and his whereabouts aren't of my concern, now he has the audacity to tell our mutual friends that all he has to do is ask to come back and I'd welcome him with open arms?

Either he is every bit the stupid prick that Samantha always surmised or he has completely taken leave of his cotton picking mind. Galen Sanderson - low they he is to the face of the earth - couldn't crawl long enough or gravel hard enough or sway me even remotely enough to re-enter the "circle of trust". I would rather be alone than to have to wake and look upon his face every morning. I would rather be alone than to have deal with his childish behavior and lazy, lousy attitude.

God has blessed me with a wonderful buyer for Rosa's foal, an awesome job, a great boss, beautiful, healthy children, a financial blessing in AdvoCare that makes so many additional blessings in our lives possible, friends who I can count on, a lovely home that is so much more than a roof over our heads, opportunities every day to see the real actions of love, and so many more ways than I can count or recount. Finally, God has blessed me with the gift of Galen Patrick OUT of my life. God has given me the closure, the moving on, the happiness, and the hindsight to recognize that I never lost ANYTHING where Galen was concerned. I only gained myself.

When I read back through the early posts on this blog, the anger and pain are so clear that it practically leaps off the page with misery. That God could carry me through the abyss and away from the precipice that was Galen Sanderson in my life is truly a blessing. God is good. All the time.

Today, when I am able to provide a blessing to a mutual friend in AdvoCare, I can't help but be just a little bit thankful for the gift of Galen Patrick. Yes, it is true you don't know what you've got until it's gone. But that can be a good thing. I once thought I had a soul mate and a Godly partner in Galen. Today I see him for the weak and ineffective character that he has become, and perhaps always was. The rose colored glasses are off. And away from me is where he needs to be.

And while I have come full circle, and am over Galen and have moved on with my life; now he tells people he could come home and I'd take him back in a heartbeat? He better remember what he wished for because he got it and I am over him. Through the visions of our close mutual Christian friend we know that God's plans for me no longer require Galen Patrick Sanderson.

Do you know how far you can go?

2010-04-11T18:43:00.003-05:00

Only those who risk going to far, can possibly find out how far they can go. T.S. Eliot

You know who this guy is right? He wrote "Old Possum's Book of Cats" which became the basis for the script of the Broadway muscal "Cats".

So, do you know how far you can go? Do you know how much you can do? Have you set your eyes upon a star far away and set about to fly there?

Unless you are willing to risk it all, to take the biggest chance of chances, to take a chance on losing what you've got to get something greater, you will never get as far as you could be.

Life isn't about sitting idly on the side lines. Life is about taking chances, trying to do something new and wonderful every day!

When Galen and I were together I was so caught up in maintaining the status quo that I didn't dare dream new dreams or reach for new heights.

One HUGE gift of Galen not being in my life the last year (even though he constantly lied to me when he came to see me and told me we could work things out) is that I began to dream and risk and believe again.

Prayer for Galen

2010-04-11T16:59:00.003-05:00

Lord, I lift up in prayer, Galen Patrick Sanderson. You know what dark and evil he abides with in these end days. I pray a light of protection around him, Lord. Open his eyes. Carry him from the edge of the abyss that he is about to fall into.

You have written in your Word that where two or more are gathered in Your name and ask in Your name that what is asked will be granted. While I don't know that there will ever be a place in my life for Galen, I pray that you protect him from the fire in the pit.

Amen

Sometimes praying for anything but God's Will to be done is just a waste of time

2010-04-11T08:52:00.003-05:00

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV). Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails....... Thoughts on This Verse... ''What are your plans for today?'' If you are like me, you prayerfully try to plan your day. You make appointments with people in the future so you can address their needs, hear their concerns, or discuss issues and projects. But, we need to always live humbly, recognizing that none of our plans will be of value unless those plans come from the Father!

The more I learn to let God direct my plans instead of directing God to bless my plans, the smoother my days go. Thanks, Tricia, for posting this verse yesterday. It gave me plenty of time to think on things and prepared me for the message delivered from Gad later in the evening.

It is a funny thing how God can hear your wants, and begin to speak on meeting them after we as short-sighted children have moved on to something else.